Voodoo Vince

"I've always wanted a real voodoo doll, I just hope it's more fun than this"

Voodoo Vince is a game that markets itself as hilarious and creative, when in reality it neither warrants a chuckle nor offers anything new to gaming. It's just another game in the line of Microsoft platformers that tries to outdo Nintendo's platformers (such as Mario) by using such marketing strategies as sharp, colorful graphics and by saying it will be better than Mario. Fortunately (or unfortunately, from Microsoft's point of view) nobody bought into the hype. The quality of games goes much deeper than the screenshots that show them off and the words of appraisal that attempt to pull the attention of gamers to them. Voodoo Vince, with its gimmicky gameplay and colorful visuals, further proves this statement.

Story – 3/10

A stereotypical voodoo lady (black, old) with a stereotypical voodoo lady voice is kidnapped by some loser named Kosmo. Kosmo, for some reason or another, wants some of her voodoo magic powers and uses it, I think, to create silly-looking monsters no larger than a voodoo doll (which makes them oh so threatening to humanity). This voodoo lady (excuse me, I don't remember her name) turns her voodoo doll, Vince, into a living voodoo doll. Vince's mission, no doubt, is to rescue his voodoo lady owner. To find her he must follow the trail of blue voodoo dust and the small monsters created by Kosmo. I can't forget to mention the importance of collectible items on this trip. So Vince awakens as a cynical, monotone doll who constantly cracks one-liners that fail to be funny. Kosmo, the bad guy, is so absurd that he's laughable not how the game wants him to be laughable, but because the developers seem to think his actions and dialogue constitute as something funny. To conclude this paragraph I will sum it up by saying, the story stinks.

Gameplay – 4/10

Like most all platform games, Voodoo Vince begins with the mandatory training level disguised as an actual level of the game. Any gamer will know the formula of the game going from holding your hand to that exact hand socking you in the face. Like many games of its kind it doesn't know how to create a reasonable difficulty: starting out ridiculously easy and ending in ridiculously hard fashion. But let me explain the game a little more. The main attraction (a.k.a. gimmick) of the game comes in the form of voodoo powers. Vince has the power to injure himself: sticking a needle in himself, dropping an anvil on himself, calling in the mafia to shoot him up, etc. Whenever he uses such a power, all enemies in a radius around him feel the pain and die. So, where's the gimmick, you ask? I'll get to it. You see, the game allows the gamer to collect new voodoo powers. Each time you get a new one that's the next one you'll use, but after using it once it'll be cycled into a sort of lottery where the next voodoo power is randomly chosen from. Now, the problem with these powers is that they don't do anything different from each other. They all kill bad guys in the same radius around Vince, but just look different. You can play through the game only getting one voodoo power and you would do just as well as if you had 15 of them. This has marketing strategy written all over it in large, bold printed letters of blinking neon lights.

Voodoo Vince goes through lapses, unsure of what it wants to do. Sometimes, in the more refreshing levels, it allows you to travel around an open-ended level and do as you please. Other times it confines you to linear paths. There's either a lot of fighting or lots of platform jumping. Personally I prefer the fighting part, because it's much less frustrating. Fighting consists of punching enemies and, if you're surrounded, using your voodoo powers. Jumping goes through stages along the course of the game that goes from easy to harder and harder. Jumping becomes a pain, not only because some of the jumps are tough to judge, but because soon all jumps require the triple jump feature to make them. The endless pits of bright blue become enemy number one as you find yourself jumping across one blue gap and across another. Sometimes the blue area is much larger than the area you can safely stand on. (I'm going to give a hint to the developers: gamers don't much like endless pits). By the end of the game, if you've made it that far, you'll come across the most ridiculous platform jumping of all history. Small platforms whiz by at incredible speeds as you sit on your couch, controller on you lap, and you scratch your head. Believe me, it's doable, I did it, but it's barely doable. It's not a challenge I enjoyed doing and not one I would attempt again.

Graphics – 7/10

So what? It has colorful graphics and some odd, somewhat intriguing architecture. The design of the silly-looking enemies offsets this and the fact that one more look at a blue endless pit will make me barf doesn't help either. It's not a bad game to look at, but that's the marketing strategy, am I wrong?

Sound – 8/10

The jazzy soundtrack has a certain charm to it that allows me to forgive the thankless voice acting, especially of the slow, monotone hero and his supposed wisecracks. Kosmo's annoying voice is also forgiven, but not praised - heck no. Whoever composed the soundtrack had quite an imagination, and it's an even more amazing feat that he made the jazzy soundtrack fit in with the bizarre world of Voodoo Vince.

Longevity – 5/10

The game's short length, around 10 hours or so, will be made even shorter by those gamers who, finding the game dull and annoying, will quit before finishing it. They will not miss anything extraordinary by missing out on the ending, but will save themselves a few more years without grey hairs by not playing the end platforming section. Vince's life as a voodoo doll, alas, was a short and painful one, and worst of all for him, his death will not be remembered as gamers go on to play much more extraordinary games.

Score – 4/10

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 05/31/05