FlatOut

"Just another review for FlatOut, Zeep style."

FlatOut A game with a funky name that looks like, sounds like, and should be two words. A game that takes has great, fun, fresh ideas. A game that looks like it would be oh so very very good. However, it's not oh so very very good. How about very good then? No. Maybe just plain good? Try just plain ok, with a twist of annoying. With all that said, sit down, buckle up, and get ready for a review, by Zeep.

The graphics in this game are good. They aren't absolutely breathtaking, but they also aren't bad. The cars look like cars, the people look like people. Trees look like trees, dirt looks like dirt, water like water and roads like roads. Everything looks as it should. The cars look used, beat up, and well, like demolition cars. As the races or demo durbys go on, the cars look worse and worse. Loose a door here and there, have your hood fly off, so on so on. Not much else to say about the graphics for this game, so let's move on.

The sound of this game is well, both good and bad. The sound effects are good, however chances are, you wont pay much attention to the sound effects. You will probably have the TV on mute because the games music is driving you insane. I once wondered why a driver would drive at full speed up a ramp, then fling themselves through the windshield. Then it hit me. If I were stuck in a game with music as bad as this, I would do the same. I would gladly hurl myself at a dart board. Proudly fling myself 100 yards into the sky. Without a thought, launch myself at giant bowling pins. Yes, the music is that bad. Since I got this game, I have lost sleep. Not because I'm addicted to it or anything, but because the music wont stop playing in my head, and I can't find a gun to end it. But enough about the sound of the game. I want to get off this subject before the songs get stuck in my head again.

The controls for this game are easy to pick up. Right trigger for gas, left trigger for reverse, B for nitro. Yes, B, for nitro. In most games, isn't B for break? Oh well, thats beside the point. Those are pretty much about the only buttons you even use for races. Oh yes, and the left analog stick for driving, as well as the white button for resetting yourself on the track. In other words, a brain dead chimpanzee could play this game. But then again, the controls for racing games are usually pretty easy to get the hang of.

Next up, the story! Once upon a time, there was this driver. They were in the car just driving along with no worries. Then they decided they needed music, thats when everything went wrong. They got the radio stuck on a station that played horrid music. They got so upset, they broke the radio. The radio was stuck on that station, and could not be turned off. Being this driver was a cheapskate, they bought a cheap car as well. Sadly, the keys were stuck in the engine, so they could not turn it off. The doors also would not open, so the driver was stuck inside the car, with the music, and could not turn the car off. The horror, oh the horror. Slowly the driver went crazy, they soon found a ditch to drive their car into. It flung them out the windshield and they were no more. Ok, I'm sorry for that. I just had to take one last shot at the music. There is no story at all to this game, which is probably a very good thing.

Gameplay! Oh boy, the best and the worst about this game! Hang on, this is gonna be a long run at full speed. Gameplay with this game is like pouring boiling hot water onto an ant hill. It's fun for a very short time, however it has its many many many draw backs. Wait, let me rephrase that. Pouring boiling hot water onto an anthill will provide you with more bang for your buck then this game will. The things that make this game great, also make it horrible. Yes, your car, and the levels are fully destructible. You hit a fence, it rips apart. You hit a pile of logs, they roll around all over. You hit a sign, it falls over. You hit a cone, it flies. So on so on. Let's face it, a game were your car can take damage is great. A game where you can destroy things when you run into it is great. A game that has both, absolutely great. A game where you can launch your driver is also great. There are normal races, and then there are also the bonus games. Use your driver as a dart and shoot him at a dart-board. Drive up a ramp and propel your driver many yards into the air to see how high you can get him. Fling your driver at oversize bowling pins. Even throw the driver out of the windshield and see how far they fly before they hit the ground. Those are just a few of the bonus games, there are a few more that I didn't mention. The point is, the game has fun concepts for bonus games. So with all those good things about the game, how can it be so bad? First of all, the bonus games are fun, but they also get old very fast. The fully destructible levels also drag the game down as well. You knock something down, and then you get hung up on it on your next lap. That or lets say you slide out of control and hit the cones blocking off a turn. Guess what, those cones are now gone, and that turn looks like a two way, leaving you guessing what way to go. Also, some of the oddest things can send you flying, or perhaps even put you at a dead stop. Barrels, cones, wood fences, stuff like that. So let's see, getting hung up, getting confused as to what way to go, and odd small things sending you flying off course. The destructibility was a great idea, but it leads to many problems, as I mentioned above. So what, you can still fling your driver, that makes up for it, right? Wrong! Yes, the fact that you can fling your driver is great, however its really really really annoying in a race. Let's say your driving around, and you hit a wall with the side of your car going at a slow speed. Somehow the game reads this as "fling the driver as hard and as fast as you can." Yes, even the slightest of crashes at slow speeds will send your driver flying. What's annoying about this is you have to wait for them to stop flopping around like a fish out of water, and hit the reset button. You may as well get use to losing races just because you are waiting for your driver to stop rolling down a hill. So what else could be wrong other then objects getting in your way, and you losing positions because you wait for your driver to stop? The reset button. Yes, the one thing that is suppose to help you, is also your enemy. Lets say you are driving around right? You hit something on the ground that flings you way out of control and off the track. You hit reset thinking your still in the race, right? Wrong. It will either place you really far back, right in front of something else to hit, or somehow lined up perfectly for you to make the same mistake and not see it coming. The reset puts you at the worst places at the worst times and I'm sure if it could, it would be laughing at you as it did so.

So lets go over the review quickly, shall we? Music that makes you want to fly out of your car and into a wall, then have the car roll over you, check. Destructible objects that get in your way, get you lost, and destroy any fun this games races could be, check. Driver flinging fun that is so annoying you want to fling the game out of your car on the autobahn, check. The only reason This game is getting a 4, and nothing lower then that, is because the bonus games did provide some entertainment. Oh yeah, and the fact that this game had no story also saved it one or two points. Over all, this game is not only bad, but it also gave birth to this unbearably long review that just wasted precious moments of your life. But trust me, reading all of this is much better then playing the game itself.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 07/27/05