"Aegis Bore-wing. Ha! See what I did there?"

xBox Live Arcade tends to heavily lean on nostalgia's often boring shoulder. Targeting 80s and 90s gamers with titles like “Rush N' Attack”, “Contra”, and “Double Drag-on-and-on-and-on” it seems to be the ultimate in double dipping. Most of the time you download these games hoping maybe the developers will add something to the game and maybe try to improve it while keeping the original untouched and playable. This is often not the case. Besides the glut of old games they offer a wide variety of old games with new covers and more features. “Worms” is almost exactly like an old tank vs tank game I used to play only it was in 2D and didn't make me want to punch deciduous trees and pretend the leaves were blood. Now they offer us “Aegis Wing” for free and you indeed get what you pay for with this one.

I used to love games like “Gradius” and “R-Type” back in the NES and SNES days. Flying a ship through flocks of enemies and then fighting a huge boss that takes up 1/3 of the screen kicked a whole lot of toochus. When I fired up “Aegis Wing” I thought, “Finally! They used this formula to make a game for XBL!” When I finished playing I realized it was like “Gradius” only like playing “Gradius” while being repeatedly punched in the groin and covered in acid. Actually, that analogy is not fair. That would have elicited a reaction much more animated than my reaction of, “Meh.”

It follows the side scrolling, alien blasting of a “Gradius” but that's where the comparisons end. Instead of ship upgrades you get weapons/items like rockets, lasers, and a bubble shield but only 1 at a time. No chaining weapons here, if you want the laser you cannot pick up a bubble shield, not even to use for later. It's kinda lame. It offers almost the exact same gameplay as its predecessors but does little to nothing new with it.

The enemies are basic as hell but more annoying in that their attacks are incredibly easy to avoid, unlike a fat kid playing dodgeball. The bosses are not much better. The first boss you encounter might be cool if you're at a crappy rave and the glow sticks run out of juice and you still want something blinky but also want to kill all the ravers cause raving sucks. Otherwise, it seems like your shooting at a flashlight. It doesn't get much better.

Then there is the most annoying thing of all, the backgrounds. It seems like more time was taken into making the backgrounds than the game itself. I'd often be killed watching the 3D background because the game itself was so boring.

Is the game worth the free price tag? Sure, but I have a feeling you might get the first achievement and then never touch it again. I didn't try the multiplayer aspect which I've heard is better but from a standpoint of just a single player game, your better off slamming your head in a dirty fridge. At least you'll feel something if you do that.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 05/24/07