Conan

"Nasty, brutish and short...but also a lot of fun"

Conan has arrived on Xbox 360, sneaking on to shelves rather than arriving with a great fanfare. Does this low-key entrance mean that Conan is something to be shunned, or is the game worthy of its brutal protagonist? There's only one way to find out: read on!

As the story begins, Conan is on yet another quest to get rich quick by storming into the domain of a legendary sorcerer. Unfortunately, a slip-up leads to the sorcerer's rebirth (turns out he was just sealed away…why doesn't somebody just kill these guys in the first place?) and Conan ends up stripped of his equipment and abilities and has to start from scratch, one severed neck at a time. And that's the flimsy excuse for the rampage of berserk slaughter that follows. The plot is well told between levels, but don't expect to get deeply immersed; it's mainly a way to give you a breather before the next batch of decapitations. Robert E. Howard's Conan may well have been a clever strategist and linguist, but you won't have to worry about that. Just be prepared to chop first and ask questions later (on second thoughts, don't bother with the questions, seeing as you'd just be talking to a heap of twitching appendages and steaming guts).

Obviously, the first thing you're going to notice about Conan is the graphics. Now, don't be disappointed to learn that this game is not on a par with benchmarks like Bioshock or Gears of War in this department, but the graphics do their job admirably enough. Character models are nicely detailed and the scenery is well-constructed. The main problem is lack of originality. You'll be up against the same mailed warriors, scurvy corsairs and miscellaneous mythological beasties (dragons, living statues, giant squid, etc) that you've probably already butchered to extinction a million times in games of this genre, while Conan himself is recognisable but not as imposing as you might expect. Similarly, the environments are crisp and detailed but it's standard fantasy fare like ruined temples and tribal villages. Coupled with this is a rigid camera that doesn't always offer you the best view of the action. In fact, it seems the camera only wants to zoom in when you're hacking something important off of an enemy's body or untying a bare-breasted, pneumatic damsel – that should give you some idea of how subtle this game is.

And yet…the (admittedly minor) cosmetic flaws become almost irrelevant when the battle is joined, because that's when you can really feast your eyes on what this game does best: brutal slaying that leaves little to the imagination. With only the most basic attacks, heads roll, limbs are brutally truncated leaving only spurting stumps and pale, glistening entrails slop around your foes' boots. More advanced techniques can split your opponents down the middle or at the waist, or chop them into bits. It's all accompanied by gloriously over-the-top fountains and torrents of blood (if you've played Shadow of Rome, you'll have some idea of what to expect) and beautifully animated. As Conan pulls off these moves you'll not only enjoy be able to watch the impressive fights unfold (along with some real did-you-see that moments such as Conan throwing his sword into the air and hurling a fiend on to the point in mid air), but you'll also feel like a pretty hard nut.

When it comes to sound, the game is adequate but not really outstanding. Background music is suitably soaring at the time, but you won't be humming these tunes when you've switched off the console. The voice actors do a good job, and although Ron Perlman gives a decent performance and makes the character likeable enough, but he doesn't sound especially barbaric and his snappy one-liners during battle can be a little incongruous. A little more gusto would have been welcome. Sound effects are again solid but generic: clanking steel, guttural screams…the usual hack-and-slash fare.

To really appreciate the game it's worth putting some time in and mastering the deceptively rich fighting system. In time-honoured tradition killing enemies gives you experience points which are in turn used as currency to buy new techniques, all of which are performed with simple button sequences. What makes it more interesting than many other examples of the genre is the fact that moves are divided into several categories depending on how you like to play. There are lists of grapples and throws, disarming moves, and techniques for one-handed, dual-wielded and two-handed weapons, each of which varies in speed and damage dealt. Coupled with achievements that reward concentration on the separate fighting styles, this may encourage multiple playthroughs. Other combat methods include smart-bomb style magic attacks (largely pointless, unless you're going for achievements that require mass destruction of baddies, as the enemy cannon fodder succumbs swiftly to your standard repertoire) and occasional use of that action game craze, quick-time button presses. The latter is quite clumsily implemented, however, with little warning given of when the buttons need to be pressed. This, unsurprisingly, often results in Conan sprawling in the dirt on the first attempt. The environment is also a useful weapon, and lower-level enemies can easily be hurled from cliffs or skewered on trees, stockades and other conveniently-placed pointy things. Of course, you need to defend yourself as well, and thankfully, the defensive system of parries and evades is virtually identical to God of War and is thus very intuitive and convenient.

Unfortunately, you can be equally successful just by hammering buttons. This is why I stress the value of spending time mastering the moves. Indeed, many moves increase in “mastery” level each time you use them successfully (like a primitive version of the skill system in Oblivion) and net you bonus experience, health or magic power when you become sufficiently adept at them. Unfortunately this system is hobbled during the boss battles. The bosses certainly look impressive, smashing all and sundry into dust and gore in their screen-shaking glory, but the battles are a bit of a chore. You seldom get the chance to unleash more than a handful of blows before the boss retaliates with a counter-attack. This means the boss battles swiftly degenerate into a repetitive cycle of hit, block, roll away, repeat until you inflict enough damage and a button-pressing sequence pops up. Just when you think the damn thing's going to give up, you usually find that the boss battles are multi-staged and the whole tedious cycle starts again. As luck would have it, there are few bosses.

When all is said and done, will you get enough carnage for your money? Well, on Normal difficulty the game took me just under six hours to complete (not counting re-tries). But there are achievements based around completing the game on higher settings, and in this genre such victories are always accompanied by bragging rights. You won't find the hair-tearing difficulty of God of War, Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden here, but it's a fun challenge that prolongs the experience. And of course, don't forget the points mentioned earlier: successive playthroughs reward varied fighting styles or experimenting with techniques such as throwing objects or environmental kills.

Overall, this is a game that is perhaps best suited to genre fans who know what to expect from such a title. It probably lacks the depth to match the expectations of the truly hardcore DMC veterans, and the casual punter unused to this kind of game and uninterested in trying out different techniques may not feel it deserves the price tag. But if you approach it expecting an unpretentious, no-frills experience that lets you switch your brain off and go berserk for a few hours, look no further than Conan.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 10/12/07, Updated 03/24/08

Game Release: Conan (EU, 09/28/07)