The Orange Box

"Easily the best deal in gaming ever made, as well as the greatest collection of the greatest games ever."

Recently, I had the lucky chance to experience the Orange Box first-hand. The only thing I have ever touched from Valve has been 3 minutes of Half-Life, making me basically a virgin in to the foray of their handful of first person experiences.

When I saw first-person experiences, I really do mean it.

The first thing I touched was Portal, upon recommendation of...well, pretty much every human being and some not. I'm very glad I did; Portal is not merely a game. It is an adventure. It is a digital puzzle. All of the dialogue (Or should I saw monologue?) was brilliantly crafted, often times being a goldmine of humor. I have to say, Valve is definitely among the best of the best at making attempts at humor. And both of them succeed. Practically every level has GLaDoS making remarks that usually end up with you sitting on your couch, giggling.

The puzzles are intricately designed, using physics that just make sense. Using momentum to throw yourself across the room, the energy balls bouncing everywhere, the angled walls; It all adds up to a logical playthrough of a great game.


However, there are times when the physics are...too real. I found myself rather confused a lot of the time after going through portals due to the camera. The camera will often fling around, turning you upside down or other such things. It's very frustrating when you have to shoot a portal very quickly at a specific area. When carrying objects, I often found myself dropping them constantly due to them getting banged around and caught on things. Getting shot at made me move around unwillingly and it was hard to see things through the red mask. I noticed this wasn't really a problem of the game, so much as it was with the engine itself. Playing Half-Life 2 afterwards made me notice many of the same problems as in Portal.

The story is...well, non-existent, but it still remains interesting. You are a test subject. You must pass all the tests. At the end of the last test, there's an amazing plot twist that I won't ruin for anyone who actually reads this.

Like I said earlier, Portal isn't a game; it's an experience. A real adventure. There are so little secret rooms lying around, and the last part of the game is absolutely amazing and breaks away from the whole formula the game had built up until then. There's tons of notes and writings on the walls, mostly about cake.

What the hell is the deal with cake in this game, anyway? Every other sentence spoken is about cake. Not that I mind. I love cake.

The game is short, about 3 hours long. However, after you beat it, you can go back and do challenges, get achievements, and beat the advanced maps. Definitely worth $20 over Steam.

The game would have been 10x better had the whole damn thing not been spoiled for me. I've heard nearly every quote already, knew what happened to the Companion Cube, and heard of the end but was still surprised. It'd be a much better experience if the internet wasn't a huge collection of idiocy and didn't think over-quoting everything to hell and back is funny.

Now, on to Half-Life 2. I didn't get to play much, only to Root Kanal, right after getting the sub machine gun(which is awesome by the way). This game is so damn amazing, it is easily the greatest FPS I have ever played. The puzzles really make you think, and the action is just incredibly fun. The first time you take out a couple of soldiers using the crow bar just feels outright amazing. Once you get the pistol, things really pick up; there's a strange, satisfactory feeling you get from mowing down waves of soldiers with this thing. And the first time you pick up the sub machine gun...oh, god. It's just...amazing. I'm in utter shock of how good it is. When you're running around the city near the beginning of the game, it feels so expansive. The people you meet you generally feel for. Every person you talk to made me feel sorry for them. The ones in the apartment building, who were huddled together in their rooms, scared to death of what was going to happen to them. You just want to find out what happened to them, and what is going to happen to them. These nameless characters who serve no significance at all.

Oh, how could I forget Team Fortress 2? Very fun, probably the funnest online multiplayer game I've played. Its only flaw was that there was no deathmatch/team deathmatch mode. I mostly use the Pyro, and dabbled around with the Spy but felt he was too complicated for me. I did get a few kills in, but not many. FPS isn't exactly my forte. Unfortunately, most of the games I played were riddled with lag; my brother revealed that this happens very often. There were tons of disconnects, as well, and I was often forced to quit due to the host's connection or him quitting.

The graphics in all of the games are fantastic, and easily stand the test of time. All of them use the same art style aside from Team Fortress 2, which branches off and uses a very stylish look that comes off as cool and suave yet cartoony.

Valve is amazing. I don't know how I ever doubted them. Usually hype kills games for me, but these...they live up to and surpass the hype.


Valve are gods. Play Portal it's amazing, play Half-Life 2 it's amazing. Once again, it is easily the greatest deal of the greatest collection of the greatest games ever.

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 01/03/08, Updated 03/07/08

Game Release: The Orange Box (US, 10/10/07)