Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

"Mr. Kane and Dr. Lynch. Literally."

When I first popped 'Kane and Lynch: Dead Men' into my console, my expectations were fairly high. I tried to avoid GameSpot's review, since they've so far down-rated some of my favorite games - I.E. Assassin's Creed, for one thing - and I was ready to blow a hole into some cellblocks and rob some banks. I played through the first couple levels, headshotting policemen and cracking Yakuza necks, when it hit me like an AK47 to the nose. This game was no what I was seriously hoping for, but it comes close.

Did I expect this game to blow my mind? No. Did I want a third-person shooter that I can enjoy? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes, and that's what I don't get. I've been reading some player reviews - since official site reviews are complete and utter rubbish - and I've seen mixed results. A good percentage said that Kane and Lynch is a horrible game, some say it's a pretty good one, and a small few are revering it as the second coming. A small few, like, one or two people who no one seems to care about.

Moving on, to the aspects. First up is the game's GRAPHICS: It's really nothing to call home about, but they ARE pretty. Kane's broken nose shines with the graphic engine, and Lynch's aviators glisten in the sun, when... you're actually outside, seeing as a lot of the game takes place inside, except close to the end. Basically, it's what'd you'd expect from a game like this - nothing mind blowing, but nothing abysmal.

AUDIO: There's no real music in the game, save the opening and end, so I'll get onto SOUND EFFECTS: The weaponry make the noise you'd expect them to, and the explosions from grenades are equally satisfying. It's when you get to the voice acting that it's different. You could take that as good or bad, but most people are saying that the "Voice Acting" is horrible. This confuses me on SO many levels: did these people ever happen to flip on their TV sets? Most acting - be it REAL or even voice-overs - is utterly garbage. Kane and Lynch, though, seems flawless. When Kane's mad, you can hear it in your voice. When Lynch freaks out or panics, you can hear that as well. What you CAN'T hear is mother's around the world wetting their panties when someone says the 'F' word in this game, which is pretty f***ing frequent. Nearly ever line is riddled with the word, but hell, if you can get past that part - which I did because it doesn't bother me at, you know, ALL, than the voice acting is pretty good.

MECHANICS ( Gameplay ): Mechanics are the different actions, movements, animations and the like inside the game, and how they work. Animations seem fluent, and there isn't really any spasms of movement I've seen to date. Weapons seem to switch to Kane's hand if my magic, but that's pretty normal in games nowadays, it seems. Speaking of which, you can only carry two weapons at a time - a main weapon and a sidearm, which you will probably never use unless forced to do so - because whenever you begin to run low on ammunition, someone in your team will gladly fork over ammo to a weapon he doesn't seem to have, replenishing your stock until you run out again and the process repeats. Team-Control is where the mechanics seem to come down a bit. You can do the basic team actions - tell them to follow you, tell them to attack targets you aim at, and go to a certain position - but really, I found myself just letting them shoot at whoever they damn-well pleased, and told them to follow me when I wanted them to stop standing in the middle of a firefight and get to cover, which I found myself doing frequently. Death is another mechanic worth mentioning: there is no health meter, which games seem to be getting into the trend of featuring, but a sort of... "you're-close-to-death" meter. As you begin to take an endless supply of bullets, your screen begins to turn a light shade of red, indicating some minor hits. When the screen turns red and tilts a bit, get to cover. Now. And finally, the final stage is when the screen tilts back into place with a lighter shade of red, which indicates "taking one more bullet ANYWHERE and you're grounded." Thankfully, you can basically get shot in the head collapse onto the ground. When you do, a teammate - I found Lynch doing it the most - runs over to you and administers "Adrenaline", which revives you and provides a quick - very quick - burst of immunity, until it fades and the cycle repeats. If you happen to "die" in quick recession, and I'm not sure the exact time but it's pretty stretched out, your teammate administers adrenaline once more, but this time, you overdose, and you then... die. Sadly. You restart at the nearest checkpoint, which can sometimes help or hinder you.

Really, this isn't a full-review, just a checkup on some of the game features. And now, the part I dread...

DEDUCTIONS:
- I deducted one point from my score because of the A.I. Not so much the enemies, but my teammates, who felt the need to stand up and eat lead before they listened to me and hurried to cover.
- I deducted another point from my score because of two control issues; One, taking cover along walls took too long and didn't involve a button press, but a... movement, per say, and Two, you couldn't crouch down and break into a sprint. You had to stand up... Whaddafuxup with that? That's just weird.

Final Score / Verdict = 8 / 10.

Play this game. It won't compete with Hitman, but it kinda reminded me of Max Payne, which was fun in itself, but without the slow-mo.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 01/03/08

Game Release: Kane & Lynch: Dead Men (US, 11/13/07)