Lost Planet: Extreme Condition

"Another lesson in mediocrity - Presented by Capcom"

I'm not quite sure how to introduce a game so foul, so here it is - the Lost Planet review.

STORY
Overall, Lost Planet has a fairly standard plot. Humanity leaves Earth, finds another planet and begins colonization only to find a hostile alien race already there. The Akrid, the alien race in question, put the smackdown on the humans, and those who can, flee. The rest are left behind and become snow pirates. The actual story begins with Wayne and his father getting attacked by a monstrous Akrid called Green Eye. Daddy gets killed and Wayne gets knocked out. When a group of space pirates rescues him some time later, he finds he has amnesia. Surprise, surprise.

While the plot is acceptable (if a little too familiar), the actual writing is laughable. The dialog is downright horrible, with characters spouting off asinine phrases and stupid movie cliches at a machine gun pace. At times, the ludicrous theatrics and rambling becomes so overbearing that it wouldn't even seem out of place in a Laurell K. Hamilton novel.

GRAPHICS
The graphics are quite possibly the high point of this unmitigated disaster, and they are truly beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen something as lifeless as snow look so good in a game. The Akrid designs are quite nice as well, resembling insects but still maintaining that alien quality. However, the environments and character designs really play second fiddle to the smoke and explosion effects.

Unlike most games in which a rocket blast leads to a small explosion and a puff of smoke, in Lost Planet they are overblown, Hollywood style events. After the initial explosion, you'll see flaming pieces of whatever you just hit flying away, trails of black smoke flying behind. The explosion site itself is a nasty cloud of noxious black smoke that is impossible to see through. Another video game staple, the exploding barrel, has been given new life here as well. When one explodes, it has a blast radius of a good twenty or thirty feet. The fire billows outwards like some beautiful flower of searing agony. To say that the explosions in Lost Planet are cool may very well be the understatement of the year.

Of course after the initial wow factor wore off, I was left with the general sense of mediocrity that the rest of the title oozes from its every pore. I quickly came to realize that while it was damn cool to blow stuff up, the smoke completely obscured the screen meaning the Akrid were free to beat the daylights out of me until I was able to run away. Of course, if it were only a matter of not blowing stuff up I would have been fine. Unfortunately, enemy soldiers have a particular fondness for rocket launchers and most of the enemies in the game cause snow to behave in the same manner as the smoke. Whenever they attack, snow flies up in the air, becoming just another vision obscuring and rage inducing annoyance.

SOUND
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's all downhill from here. While the script is downright awful, I daresay a few talented actors could have made it seem a lot less idiotic. But what's the sense in that? Every melodramatic character needs an untalented, melodramatic hack to play him doesn't he? More often than not, the spoken dialog is cringe inducing, but every now and then it is just so laughable you might just find yourself smiling in spite of the games idiocy.

GAMEPLAY
The game is divided up into numerous missions that will have you moving through an area, killing everything in sight until you get to a boss encounter. It's a pretty basic setup that actually serves this game well, due to the implementation of T-ENG.

T-ENG (Thermal Energy) is basically an altered version of the health bar. While there is a standard health bar in the game, should you be injured your supply of T-ENG will recharge your health. So as long as you have T-ENG, it's unlikely you'll die. Plus, you'll gain this energy by killing enemies or blowing up vats of the stuff. Of course there is a catch. T-ENG constantly depletes, meaning that you've got to keep moving and killing. This gives a fast-paced, frantic feel to the entire game and makes you keep on your toes and moving forwards at all times.

Fortunately, it's a rare occurrence to actually run out of T-ENG, seeing as the levels are chock full of enemies. They'll pop up out of the snow in limitless quantities and hives will constantly produce the smaller variety unless you take them out. And taking them out is no big hassle either since their weak points are clearly marked by glowing lights. It's just a matter of keeping your finger on the trigger until they go down.

However, it isn't always as cut and dry as blasting away with whatever weapon happens to be available. You'll sometimes be able to jump into a VS, or a Vital Suit (a mech). While in a VS, your T-ENG drains much faster than normal, but the weapons on the VS are much more powerful than their hand-held versions. Plus, most Vital Suits can hold and operate two weapons at the same time, so you can have a mingun and a rocket launcher firing off simultaneously. The extra killing power is definitely worth the extra T-ENG loss.

As for the aforementioned boss fights, they could have been the highlight of the game. They are massive, angry and destructive things that can, and will, toss you around like a rag doll. The same formula of shooting the glowing spots still applies but they've got a lot more health and are harder to hit. However, for some reason, most of the boss fights take place in tiny enclosed rooms with barely enough space to maneuver in. This leads to the only camera problems to be found in the game, as the camera struggles to keep both Wayne and the boss in view. This leads to either a lot of missed shots or taking a beating by the bosses as you struggle to orientate yourself.

While the bosses nor the basic enemies aren't actually all that tough due to their obvious weak points, the trouble comes in because it's hard to keep Wayne on his feet long enough to do anything. The bosses constantly use overpowered moves that instantly cause Wayne to either stumble around like a drunken idiot wearing stiletto heels or just fall flat on his face. It then takes him several seconds to regain his footing, meaning that the boss or enemy is ready to hit him with the same move all over again. Obviously, it's impossible to shoot anything if you're face down in the snow. This whole “stumble and fall” mechanic is vastly overused, and it is a problem throughout every second of the game. For me, this was the absolute deal-breaker because it's impossible to avoid this. Every enemy is capable of putting Wayne on his back and you constantly have to deal with it.

THE VERDICT
I think I'm going to start hesitating when I see a game with the Capcom logo on it. A terrible script, laughable acting and an idiot who can't stay on his feet long enough to fire a gun all combine to create one of the worst action games I have played in years. I'm beginning to think Capcom is more interested in re-releasing Resident Evil 4 on every system known to man than actually creating a playable game.

HIGHS
- Run and gun combat
- Awesome explosions

LOWS
- Wayne stumbles around like an idiot
- Blinding particle effects
- Terrible script and actors
- Irritating boss fights

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 06/30/08, Updated 05/04/09

Game Release: Lost Planet: Extreme Condition (US, 01/12/07)