Castle Crashers

"Crashing Your Castle, Killing Your Dudes, Engrossing My Mind"

XBOX Live games usually fail to meet my expectations. Why? Not only because I am usually a rather snooty guy when it comes to gaming in terms of entertainment value and artistic creativity, but because I treat many XBOX Live games like they're meant to be something more than $5, $10 dollar Pop games that are meant to make me happy for a week before moving on to the next one.

That's why I was rather surprised to see that the Live games coming out recently were bumping up around the $15 price range. Sure, games like Puzzle Quest often offer a variety of amazing things to do for a while, but how good can an XBL game actually be? And at $15? While Braid came out and somewhat kept me enthralled, it was the poor execution of the story it was trying to convey by making me read and not showing it in the gameplay. Essentially, I was made to play a game for what it was, and then read “The Great Gatsby” and expect to link the two, ultimately explaining everything about the game to me. Artistic value goes a long way, but it needs to be executed within the game.

Enter Castle Crashers by the folks over at Newgrounds. I visit that place a lot for the humor of the flash videos over there, and have come to know these guys pretty well. Alien Hominid? Not my thing. Classic and old school, but not my thing. Now they come out with a $15 side scrolling hack-and-slash beat ‘em up game that's meant to be worth the price?

Let's look at it like this: If the game succeeds, then it proves that not only can the XBL market be increased and become more successful in terms of gaming, but it can turn addictive gaming into something more fun and humorous for everyone to enjoy. If the game falls flat and doesn't sell, then it proves that XBL Arcade is meant for Uno and showing your privates to people via webcam for craps and giggles.

Castle Crashers luckily did the first, so put your clothes back on.

Castle Crashers is a neat blend of humor, variety in gameplay, and addictive button mashing for everyone to enjoy. I will go in depth at explaining what I enjoyed so much about this game, not just gameplay, but aesthetically as well. Please note this: I will not judge the game based on graphics and the fact that I lost all of my weapons and animal orbs. The glitches, unlike games of old, can and will be fixed and addressed.

Also note that my final score is not a summary or average of the ratings I give, but instead my overall thought of this XBOX Live Arcade title.

Story: 10/10

I know what you're thinking right off the bat. “This is a stupid review. How can you give something a 10 for story when no one ever talks (except for shopkeepers) and nothing is explained as to why the main villain does what he does. And, hell, why there is the Painter as one of the final bosses…”

The answer is this: lol. Why? Not because I've lost all form of coherent rebuttal, but simply because of the fact that the story is meant to be a joke. And it was. It gives you the classic cliché of gaming, where you are out to save princesses. The game treats its own story as a joke. With puns, odd boss fights, and making out with hot chicks, the game doesn't take itself seriously, ever. I won't flat-out spoil the ending, but let's just say that it gets to the point where even the game creators say, “Hey, look how freaking random we are and where we're willing to take this.” And that's the brilliance of it. The game never once attempts to play some serious role. Instead, it goes even as far as to mock itself in the last boss fight, opting to give you a fake treasure chest and even a fake dig sight at the end of the game to see if you're silly enough to believe its existence.

So the mere fact that you can actually lay claim to there being a true story, since one is being relayed through the game but not actually involving your character, who is bombarding through every level and making out with princesses while the King goes on ahead for whatever reasons he truly knows about, really hints at the simple humor of the game that offers wit. What other story could have possibly explained why you were doing what you were doing?

Aesthetics: 10/10

Quite simply, the art from Dan Paladin is spot on and very creative. Even simple boss fights are elaborately done with very clean, very cartoonish drawings that immerse you into the world. There are many unique animations to each of the characters, something that will draw many people into wanting to unlock all of the characters and play as all of them. The animal orbs themselves are very nicely done, with the very simple things like adding a tongue to Giraffy putting that extra foot forth in delivering a well-polished game. Even the poop jokes are done with good art style, something worth truly noting.

Sound: 9/10

The music was fairly epic, and it would have been a disappointment to have been anything other than that. Nothing hardly to complain or harp on, since Castle Crashers boasts an impressive set of tunes that do not get old with replaying the game. The boss fights are intense, and the music often relays the feeling that the player should be having. Most notably epic was the battle against the Necromancer, whom brings to life all of the past slain villains for you to do battle with. The sound effects were cartoony and nicely done.

Controls: 8/10

While there are many different techniques that can easily be abused when fighting people, such as a long barrage of surfing around in the air while attacking, or using the Blue Knight's infinite combo freeze, they are all meant to be there, and that's fine. It's enjoyable. Getting new combos, using said combos on a mass of people, and the different magic that's unlocked thus unlocking different methods of using magic are all handled well on the controller. The only real problem was scrolling through all of the items, sometimes resulting in hitting a wrong button and using a potion or PB&J sandwich on accident when trying to get to your arrows, or not holding down the RT enough when using your B magic. So there is a little to be worked on there, but otherwise the controls are handled well for its genre of being a sides roller.

Gameplay: 10/10

Quite frankly, what more do you want from a side scrolling beat ‘em up game? It's everything that the genre could ask for. You get to level up, unlock, gain new items, weapons, and animals to boost you or add attacks to your repertoire, and fighting is exciting and never seems to get old to me. Leveling up becomes something very satisfying because it opens up new chains of attacks that can be done to eliminate your enemies, and I became addicted to its style of playing. Castle Crashers offers enough variety and different ways to beat the game, leading me to my next point.

Replay: 9/10

How can you not replay this game? I've already beaten it about seven or more times unlocking characters, and then using those characters to see their neat abilities (or similar abilities, in some case). While I've been having to replay a bit to regain animal orbs and weapons, I've also been unlocking a lot of the characters. And while some are the same and leads one to question the worth of playing to unlock everybody, some similar animations could leave a little more to be desired. This will probably be assisted through DLC, which will add even more replay value and bump that up to a 10 easily. Just as soon as I get that freaking chainsaw.

Multiplayer: 9/10 when it works, 2/10 right now

Eh. When I can play? Very fun. Playing at my house with my brother has been a blast, and playing online with a good friend of mine unlocking characters is just as fun. However, considering that getting into a 4-Crasher game can result in my game literally crashing or my data to vanish from the face of the earth, despite having achievements saying I did this or that, it becomes annoying. So right now, it's miserable. But it's promising to think that when this game finally does work, that people will be able to share weapons with each other, run through levels with one another, and work on beating insane. Because quite frankly, it's hard to drag 3 other people you know to your house and get them to play this game. It's a limited genre in that some people don't like it. But hey, you can always play me on Live.

Unlockables: 7/10

There's a lot to do in this game. A lot of characters, a good handful of animal orbs, and a crapload of weapons. Unfortunately, many of the characters share similar magic sets to one another. It's understandable, but it makes a character choice basically come down to aesthetics a lot of the time. The animal orbs are fun to get, but some of them are very useless, and once picked up will never, ever be used again. Why use Owlet when Hawkeye picks up food for you too, along with attacking enemies on the ground? Why use Seahorse, ever? And what's the deal with airline food? The same goes for weapons. They're fun to get, but you'll use 1-2 per character and that's it. It usually depends on what type of style you play, whether it be magical, physical, or a strong defense. I don't say agility, because that stat is mainly ignored.

Overall Score: 9/10

The game gets a 9 in my eyes for many reason. And once again, I say that it's barring the glitches that are going on right now, because those will be fixed and this review will still be up after that, so I don't want to look like a tool for bashing a game that will see its full worth fixed and viewed to the public.

The reasons are simple. This game is fun. With great humor, a sense of accomplishment, and many things to do in the game, Castle Crashers offers at $15 what most $60 games don't: Entertainment. I was entertained the whole time playing the game. I never found myself bored, and often times found that time was going by from my day because I was grinding in this game. Maybe now I understand the kind of addiction that WoW people express to have. It's fun. Castle Crashers is just an absolute blast and it's fun.

This game is easily recommended for anyone who has fun with these type of side scrollers. It's simple gameplay that you can pick up fast and learn to conquer. If you feel like you can't do a certain area? Level up. The game gives you many options, like the potions and etc., to stay alive and beat the game. With many pop references and silly humor like a deer pooping through space, Castle Crashers is a game worth picking up really for anyone. You get the $15 worth of gaming out of this, for sure. I can't wait to see the DLC, and can't wait for the Live portion to be fully fixed.

For an Arcade title, this literally is the best one out there in terms of originality and replaying. No game is perfect, but Castle Crashers is definitely the best Arcade game I've ever played, and that's saying a lot. Worried that you're going to spend all of your money (We only accept cold cash. Lol) on a "simple flash game?" Well, erm, don't! This game is worth every point.

-Rembrandt

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 09/03/08

Game Release: Castle Crashers (US, 08/27/08)