Fable II

"I made the mistake of giving Peter Molyneaux another chance, and again he lied to me."

Well, maybe not "Lied" so much as "Spouted crap he claimed would be in the game, but is actually just stuff he wanted in the game and absolutely could not and should not have enthusiastically described to us as if it was already included."

Just like Fable, Fable 2 is a game that was hyped to hell by it's own Designer...and absolutely failed to live up to that hype. Unlike Fable, it is not a good game despite its flaws.

But my opinions on the game don't come solely from it not living up to the hype- Fable 2 is a fundamentally flawed experience that is lacking entirely. It could have been such a nice game.

Fable 2 starts off nicely enough. You, an Orphan, and your sister are going about town, and you see that there is some sort of spectacle going on. A man is selling various "magical" items, such as a mirror that makes you look fantastic- but only works when the lights are off, or something. That is to say that the game starts lightheartedly. It quickly starts to take itself seriously as the man tries to peddle a music box that will grant the user wishes. You are approached by a woman who encourages you to buy it- and the game begins.

You go about town, doing a few quests and learning the basics. There's nice variety and potential here. After you get the gold to buy the music box(for a measly 5 gold, which is pretty cheap for a wish...), which is somehow still unpurchased, you buy it...use it...and it quickly disappears. What is going on?

Now you REALLY start the game.

And soon enough...it is 10 years later. Which is strange, considering the game was initially supposed to be a game where you grew up as you played. But no, you are immediately 10 years older.

So. Here's the review.

Controls:

The controls are clunky. Running feels sluggish, and your character feels heavy regardless of their size. You feel slow even when running. Weapons feel sluggish, aiming feels sluggish, everything feels sluggish. You do get used to it, but that feeling always lingers, and the controls just aren't very smooth at all. But they do what they need to, I suppose.

Interface:

The game has a special interface for magic- there are 5 "Levels" displayed vertically on screen, and 5 levels of each magical power. When you use magic, it starts at the bottom and goes up the longer you charge- meaning the same button is used for all spells, and it's just a matter of which level spell you have set where. This is actually a pretty intuitive idea...but it fails miserably. Once you've maxed all your spells, you can't set them ALL to be at level 5, and it is a pain to switch between them, so your only option is to compromise and use lower levels of other spells instead.

The menus, when the game is not installed, are absolutely horrible. They take an eternity to load, lag constantly as you switch between them, and the icons for items and pages lag behind everything else. This is "Fixed" once you can install the game, but when it came out you could not do this. Someone was not paying attention and decided this was acceptable- which it is not. A lagging menu is unacceptable. BE SURE that you do not play this on a console without a hard drive- you will want to install it. Speaking of installing, the game sounds like a helicopter if you are playing off the disc. Moreso than other games.

Oh, and did I mention the items? You have to open the menu, go to the items tab, go to the appropriate tab for the item you want, find the item, and select use to use an item. Makes sense, right? Here's the thing. You're kicked out of the menu and have to do it all over again EVERY DAMN TIME. Have fun using multiple items at once.

The "HUD" on screen is very simple. There is basically nothing displayed unless it is being used, which is ok. The problem is that there is no MAP. The map is NEVER displayed, and the only way to see it is to press start and wait for the slow menu to load. Then you can see a TINY map, very poorly labeled, and try to guess where you are on it. The reason for no map? According to Peter Molyneaux, and I kid you not, it would be "too confusing" for players to move around in a 3D world and navigate using a 2D map. Peter is, apparently, completely unaware that maps have always worked like this for all of eternity and have always worked just fine, and that a map that is missing a dimension is still better than NO MAP AT ALL.

Graphics:

The game is pretty. It's not spectacular, but it's pretty. A lot of the design is so-so. Most places seem small and generic. Graphics don't matter that much, however, so I won't focus on them.

Plot:

The plot is short and underdeveloped. It feels altogether thrown together in place of a real story, and is unbelievably unfulfilling. There are literally 3 quests to the game. There are 3 characters you're supposed to care about- but they give you no reason to. They're undeveloped archetypes that are entirely unexplored, and one of them you meet less than 30 minutes before the game ends! That's all I can say without spoiling the game.

Sound:

Entirely forgettable. I say this because I can not recall a single second of music from this game. The voices are rather terrible, at that, though that may just be because most characters speak as if they're completely drunk.

Gameplay:

Here is where it REALLY falls apart. Everything else is excusable as long as the game is fun and well done- but the gameplay...the gameplay is poor. The leveling system essentially forces you to max out everything. You get so much experience that you end up with a surplus and are maxed out relatively early. You can't really focus on one thing- strength, agility, or skills- without being entirely unbalanced.

Fighting is uninteresting and gets repetitive fast. It amounts to either:

Swing Swing Swing Sword
Shoot Shoot Shoot Guns
Charge Charge Charge Magic

The character customization is terribly lacking- you cannot choose your face, again, but you can still choose hair and clothing. Unfortunately, there's hardly any to choose from. I did manage to put together what I thought was a pretty nice "Lady of the Evening" outfit, however. You can dye up to 2 parts of individual clothing items to the colors of your choosing, which is nice.

The little things we were told would be in the game are missing. Peter told us that we'd be able to plant trees and see them grow. That we'd pay a small caravan some money to help them get by, and find they grew into a hamlet. Then a village. Then a town. Then a city rivaling the size of the main city! We were told that we'd buy the properties, become mayor of all sorts of towns, and even king or queen! That we'd have children and watch them grow! That our dog would morph and change to suit our character.

But instead...none of that is true. Each one exists, in some form, but it is entirely dumbed down to the extent that it is not a beautiful amazing process worthy of a current gen console, but rather something that could've been accomplished wholly on the original Nintendo.

We were also told that the game would be a huge open world. No walls made of tiny hills. No boundaries. Nothing blocking us from going wherever we could see. No linear paths to follow. But the game is the exact opposite! Sure, some of the areas are large, but they're still entirely linear paths. Fable 1 featured little paths that branched in a few directions to get to other areas, and Fable 2 works in exactly the same way. It is not open world in the least, but this was one of the biggest things they boasted about in the previews!

Overall, the game is short. The plot is poor. The gameplay is lacking, uninteresting, clunky, and a reminder that we are NOT to listen to Peter Molyneaux. He does NOT deserve our support and attention, because all he spouts are lies.

Rent Fable 2. Decide for yourself. Chances are you'll beat it before you have to return it, and, assuming you weren't a victim of hype, realize quickly that it's a terribly mediocre game that does not live up to the first one.

Pick yourself up a copy of the backwards compatible Fable: The Lost Chapters instead.

Overall: 4/10. Nothing special about it. Plenty to hate. Worth a rent if you liked the original, but not worth a purchase at anything over 10 dollars. Coincidentally, that's the price of the far superior Lost Chapters.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 05/15/09, Updated 05/18/09

Game Release: Fable II (US, 10/21/08)