Madden NFL 06

"Madden 06 for Xbox 360: It's like dog crap wrapped with gold..."

...Pretty on the outside but smelly and disgusting when you really use it.

I consider myself to be a pretty big Madden fan. I do the online gimmick, I get the new game when it comes out, and I'm always defending the new version's "Brilliant Innovations" that really aren't much to offer at all. Now a friend of mine was fortunate enough to get himself an Xbox 360 for Christmas and I was fortunate enough for him to invite me over to play it. There is NO way I can defend this blundering pile of garbage.

BASIC REVIEW CATEGORIES:

GRAPHICS: Whoaaa Nelly.../10
What can I say here that already hasn't been said? This game looks incredible. In fact, the only reason that this game got a 3 out of me instead of a 1 is because it is so impressive to look at. Players look spectacular, the stadium models are breathtaking, and the overall look of the game will make you say, "Wow". There are some player model errors like Troy Polamalu's non existent... whatever you want to call that hairstyle... but you really don't notice that kind of thing in the heat of the game anyway. When it's all said and done, these graphics are da kewls.

GAMEPLAY: 4/10
After I saw how this game looks, I said to myself, "Self," Said I, "This is going to be a wonderful experience." Well, Note-to-self: Don't judge a book by its cover.

The controls are really tight and responsive so I can't knock that, but the way the controls are set up is just freakin' stupid. The Xbox 360 has two triggers and two shoulder buttons, so you would think that one of them would have any kind of use. Well they really don't at all. The right trigger is sprint. That's it. Done. So with 3 buttons now having no use at all, there is no choice but to cram every control humanly possible into the remaining face buttons and whatnot. So now you have to bumble around with the controller trying to remember what awkward button combo you have to hit for your guy to do something. The one thing that bugged me in particular was the new juke system. Instead of using any of the wonderful shoulder or triggers, you have to hold A, then move the left analog in the direction you want your guy to juke... huh? So now you cant move forward and juke on the fly as things happen, rendering shakin' and bakin' completely useless.

They've also dumbed down the franchise mode to where it's not even worth playing. You can't pick assistant coaches or do anything that is remotely unique.

Kicking has been reverted to the NES days of pick accuracy, then wait as long as you want to pick the power because the meter will just fill and reset... requiring no timing at all.

Speaking of kicking, the poor guy returning your kickoff WILL get slaughtered every time he touches the ball. The protection breaks down so fast that by the time the returner catches the ball the entire defensive front is on top of him waiting for the easy hit stick.

The Vision Cone has been eliminated. I'm a huge Vision Cone fan because it forces you to actually find open receivers, instead of pressing a button and just hoping he's open. You get the Vision Cone late in the game if your chasing points, but sometimes you don't, making it completely random... random is not good.

Got a really good receiver on your team? Good. Throw him the ball EVERY SINGLE TIME. He's gonna catch it, and he'll always be open. Just send him deep for a quick 6 anytime you'd like. The defense shouldn't even bother switching to the defender to make a play in the ball because once you switch there is a split second lapse where your defender slows down, allowing the receiver to completely pull away.

There are no more challenges either. What the hell? I counted 3 times in one game where a challenge flag should be thrown but can't be done because it doesn't exist.

And for some reason the players in this game fumble a whole lot. It's like watching a bunch of dogs trying to hold on to a pig in their mouths... it's just not going to stay in there.

Overall, the gameplay is frustrating and illogical. I would hope that the next installment of Madden will show great improvement in this area.

PRESENTATION: 2/10
The way this game is presented really reminds me of Blitz: The League, which would be fine if this wasn't Madden AKA the series that tries to be as real as possible. Everything is slow, slow, slow. You'll see what I mean.

There is a weird camera view pre-snap that throws off a lot of things, it's tough to see where everything is at and you can give away your play completely because you have to turn the camera to see your wide receivers. Also, anytime you call an audible or hot route you have to deal with an irritating inlet window showing your quarterback making the call which slows down the pace of the game.

While I'm on the subject of slowing down the pace of the game, the little pre-play movies that go on are just uncalled for. They happen every play and slow this game down to a crawl. And then the video's that you would want to happen don't exist (like the measuring of first downs).

There's also no sideline commentary, no play-by-play or color commentary, no John Madden, no Al Michaels... basically none of the things that make Madden Football Madden Football. The only commentary you get is a radio announcer that sounds like he's broadcasting from a cave.

SOUND: 3/10
Everything sounds muddled. No real crunch of a big hit, you can't hear the announcer at all, crowd noise is non-existant. The menu music is nothing special. There is a nice touch in the quarterback voices. I don't know if there are voiceovers or not, but they sure do sound exactly like their real-life counterparts.

SPECIAL REVIEW CATEGORIES:

INNOVATION: 0/10
We have regressed in every way possible. Anything steps forward in previous versions of this game are shown as two steps backwards. This game plays like Madden 2000 with pretty graphics.

FRUSTRATION FACTOR: 20/10
Can't even begin to tell you how many times I wanted to launch my sleek-looking Xbox 360 wireless controller across the room. The unnecessary videos, the unstoppable offenses, the untimely fumbling, its just all too much to handle.

CONCLUSION:
Madden NFL 06 for the Xbox 360 is a swing and a miss. The wonderful graphics and cool sounding quarterbacks can't carry what this game lacks... and it sure lacks a lot.

BUY/RENT/AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE?
The lack of a good franchise mode basically eliminates this game from solo play, and playing with a friend is really annoying. I would rent unless you are easily impressed or new to Madden, in which case I would say buy it. For the real Madden junkies out there, I suggest avoiding this game like the plague unless you want your whole world crashing down on you.

FINAL SCORE: 3/10

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 01/18/06