"Mario is THE MAN! Luigi ain't all that bad, either."

There's just something about *Super Mario Bros* that makes me want to play it every now-and-then. Maybe I am unwittingly ''drawn'' to the game, since it was the first I played as a child (that I liked). OR... either its original, no-frills, and just plain ol' fun gameplay is what gets me ready for some old-school platformin' action.

Just hours ago, I beat the game for the first time in my 16-plus year existence. Heck, it took a Game Genie with unlimited lives on, but the only reason I did it was for ''the sake of the review'' (or not). It took me about an hour and a half (total) to complete all of the game's levels. I didn't use them there warp zones, either.

So, Bran... what's the story behind the game? Sit back and you shall read a tale: a tale of two plummers who are helping the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom by searching for the kidnapped Princess Toadstool, whom is a Mushroom Kingdom princess. The End.

Mario (or Luigi who is player 2), jumps, swims, and dashes through 32 levels in 8, debateably similar-looking and inhabited, worlds. At the end of each world, Mario will defeat a dragon-looking creature (King Koopa? Bowser?) only to find that the princess is being held at another castle (shucks!).

Goombas, koopas, flying fishies, and other strrrrrrange creatures will try and cost the ''Italian Stud'' a life or two. While I'm on the subject...

Mario starts off as a small little bugger (small dude). In order to increase his size of his ENTIRE body, Mario will have to hit a question block that looks like [?], which in turn sprouts out a mushroom. If Mario comes in contact with the giant fungus, then he will double in size, and have the ability to shatter blocks. If Mario hits the correct [?] while large, a flower will sprout out of this block. Mario now has FIRE-POWER! With a tap of the ''B''/run-button, Mario will throw a small fire ball, which bounces until it hits something or exits the screen.

Before I get back to Mario's enemies, I have a question or two... Is Mario's last name also Mario? If not, then WHY are Mario and Luigi called the ''Super... MARIO Brothers?'' Boggles the mind...

Arguably Mario's most difficult opponents (beside ''dragon-man'') are the Hammer Brothers. These guys have an unlimited amount of little pick-axes (I like that more than ''hammer'') that they throw in your direction repeatedly. When they are faced, the hammer-wielding baddies usually have 3 levels on which to strike you from. And since they can easily jump between these levels, it is necessary that precise timing is used to zoom past them. Or if you have fire-power, blasting their candy-asses is always an option.

Not too long after beginning your quest, providing you don't use warp zones, the first water-level will be reached. These are just as fun as the ''regular'' levels, if not better. I want these two answers questioned... Does Mario have an inifinite amount of air? How can his fire-balls work under water? These two questions also... you guessed it... boggle the mind.

For the most part, levels are different from one another, with different opponents and level-objects used in order to mix things up a bit. In fact, the flying fishes are used in a couple different parts of the game. I hate those thing-a-majigs...

Before I get into my ''mandatory categories,'' here are some tid-bits I forgot to fill you guys in on... Mario collects coins thorughout the course of his adventure and when 100 are gathered, he automatically receives another life. Even though this is an adventure game, every time Mario kills an enemy, breaks a block, or picks up a mushroom, points are gained. (John Rocker just got mooned by a fan in LA... No lie...) Much like the previous parenthetical statement, no point is evident for the scoring option. Just a little extra I reckon!


Graphics- 10/10

This is a ''10'' for its time folks. When the game first came out, did this look like anything you had ever played on the Atari systems? Heck no! This game started the NES's selling-spree (if you want to call it that). The game side-scrolls, has catchy music, great gameplay, et cetera. Way to go, Miyamoto (and crew)!


Sound/Music 10/10

Different music plays depending on which setting you are in. The classic ''Mario song'' plays whenever Mario is outdoors. An appropriate underwater medley vibes when Mario is deep-sea exploring. AND if Mario is in a castle, psycho-frantic music is heard. Everything is done nicely, from Mario's warping into ''Giant Mario'' to the sound of fire-balls being emitted from Mario's person.


Gameplay 10/10

Run, Mario, run! The controls in *Super Mario Bros* are just incredible. Mario actually has to gain speed before he goes full-dash. Jumping from level to level of block is an easy task. Jumping from level to level while dashing is a tad-bit more difficult, but not beyond your control. Magnificent.


SUMMARY

If you bought an NES new, then you most likely have this game. Millions and millions of copies are available, so hunting down a cart is easier than tackling a stuffed animal (great analogy). **Time to mention FuncoLand** Shoppers of FuncoLand can pick a copy of this game along with *Duck Hunt* on the same cartridge for a mere 9 cents. Walk into a store. Get a classic video game for a dime. Not too shabby, mister. I think my words speak for themselves (strictly metaphorically)... so, if you missed out on this one, due to your age, or are a new-comer to video-gaming, then buy this without delay! C'mon, a dime?

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 05/03/00, Updated 05/03/00