You know how it is... you invite three friends round for a laugh and a few drinks, but, alas, before you know it, the fridge is ominously empty, and the lack of beer threatens to cause a whole load of trouble. Luckily, the wonder that is the video game comes to the rescue, and your house is saved from destruction, as you and your friends are hypotised by the brilliance of gaming; their eyes fixed on the white glow coming from the TV screen. Here are the ten best to keep them occupied...

I'm not going to lie, I hate this game... It's shallow, crude, and to a very large extent, largely unfunny, despite its best attempts to have comic value. But, then again, I am not a thug and I appreciate quality and the finer aspects of a game; four rowdy men will find a game revolving around sex most amusing...

Battlefront II... a marvellous and very enjoyable shooter. It's great for the casual FPS fan, who has a brilliant game at his disposal; it's great for the Star Wars fan who has never played before, who can rely on the Jedi and other heroes to proceed, and who might find it 'amusing' to beat up dozens of troops with Darth Maul, and it is also great for the hardcore fan, who is looking for that last 'War Hero'... With so many maps and people to play as, how could you possibly get bored?

The latest installment of Grand Theft Auto gives you even more cars to play with, an even bigger map, and lots of other toys, weapons, missions, and customisable nipple piercings. As there are four males in the vicinity, the wanton rampage of blowing up cars, frequenting strip clubs and relieving people's shoulders of their heads with magically-placed sniper fire should keep them amused for hours, but sadly, this is not always the case. The missions can get repetitive, and as the format is one player (with a minor two-player mode), the other three will quickly get bored...

What better way to display testosterone than pounding your opponent into the floor with a cute, pink and fluffy Nintendo character? This is quite possibly one of the best and most entertaining Nintendo games ever made, from the serious players with their incredible Mewtwo combos, to people button-bashing with Mario, it keeps everyone amused. But, eventually, seeing Kirby brick on Link's head for the umpteenth time gets old, and new entertainment is necessary...

It doesn't get any better than this for mindless fun... A classic button-basher, where a combination of a fast attack, a power attack, and a special move is enough to take you through ten levels of droids, gungans, and of course Darth Maul. Sadly, this is only a two-player, but it doesn't make it any less fun. And of course, any game where you can play as Plo Koon is excellent...

If you wallet can cope with the relatively high price, then Guitar Hero is a great game for you and any description of friend, but it works particularly well on rowdy men. :D Blasting out timeless rock hits without requiring any real talent but with some sense of achievement is great fun, especially on a boring night <i>sans</i> alcohol. It should keep rowdy men amused for long enough anyway...

Rowdy men are almost always certain to be hardcore football fanatics, and will probably own a copy of Pro Evolution Soccer themselves. So, whether it's thumping Germany 7-0 on World Class mode, or scraping a penalty win against the Faroe Islands, masses of fun are sure to be had on the football pitch. There will be much commentary as much-practised tricks are pulled off "and he goes round one... two... three..." and bamboozles defenders, and also much swearing as the opposition's goalkeeper or defender is underestimated and excuses are made... "What a ******* foul! What the hell ref?" ... "That's ******* impossible! Stupid ******* cheating game!" Four rowdy men are almost in paradise with four controllers and a copy of this footballing mammoth... but not quite

How could we leave out the classic arcade fighter? Without the campness of Soul Calibur, and without the lacking gameplay of Dead or Alive, Tekken (I chose 3, as it my favourite) is the ideal beat-em-up to have in a beer shortage. Whether you know the ninety-button combos, just button-bash, or just want to have a go on Tekken Ball, it is great fun to play, whether against the computer or against each other, and whether taken seriously or not. It is even good fun to watch (perhaps cheering on Yoshimitsu...). Rowdy men will probably appreciate toilet humour more (so Gon farting on True Ogre will never get old), and they will also no doubt appreciate Nina's cleavage... :P

What more is there to say? Four controllers, four rowdy men and a copy of Halo 2... After mere seconds, there is carnage, death, gun mastery and cries of "HEADSHOT!", "No teabagging!" and "You ******" fill the air. This amazing FPS is the perfect [non-female] company for four rowdy men, as they blast holes into each other, their primal instincts to flaunt their manliness kicks in...

Disaster. Everyone has grown weary of Halo, and the four controllers are lying abandoned on the floor. Even suggesting a 'round of Slayer on Coagulation' does nothing to lift the boredom. You start to fear for your furniture. But, like a hideous mirage, you spot Anne Robinson's face gurning at you from under a stack of games, and quickly chuck it in the PlayStation. Despite initial protests, the game loads up, and everyone chooses whether they want to play as 'Eddie the long-distance lorry driver' or 'William the air traffic controller'. You hope you have not made a tragic mistake... A roar of laughter fills the room as another contestant is voted 'The Weakest Link'. "Look at him waddle!" cries someone, as the unfortunate computer-controlled character takes the 'Walk Of Shame'. You hardly believe your luck. The Weakest Link was the greatest hit of the evening. The combination of friendly rivalry over General Knowledge, plotting over the voting, and finding everything about the game hilarious, from 'Eddie's' accent to questions about Star Trek. After demanding several replays, I thanked God for this game, and can confidently name it as the best game to keep four rowdy men amused in the absence of beer.

Although the Wii or GameCube are often thought of as the greatest party consoles, my list is predominantly PSOne and XBox-based. It is proof that the 'retro' (not really retro, but out of production) should not be discarded, and despite the 'perfect' graphics of the PS3 and friends, console gaming has lost all its fun. Only a console with such varied games as a quiz with Anne Robinson, crippled doctors fighting melee-style against fire-breathing/farting dragons, and Plo Koon and Mace Windu beating up droids can be the best. And the PSOne is certainly the best entertainer.

List by PloKoon13 (06/04/2007)

Discuss this list and others on the Top 10 Lists board.


Would you recommend this Top 10? Yes No You must register to leave a comment.
Submit Recommendation