Top 10 Lists : The Top 10 Greatest Zombie Slayers
Most people never forget their first time. I know I'll never forget mine. Of course I'm talking about my first time watching a movie in the theater. Huh? What did you think I was talking about? Anyway, it was 1990 and I went to the movies with my mom and brother. What film did I watch you ask? I was seven years old so you would think my mom would pick "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" or "Home Alone" or even "Dick Tracy". My mother decided that my first movie experience should be "Night of the Living Dead" which was a remake of the original 1968 film. That movie will tramatize any normal first grader, which it did in my case. I had trouble sleeping for weeks. Luckily, my mother rented "Evil Dead II" some time later. After watching Ash Williams destroy what I feared the most at the time, I decided what career path to take. Unfortunately, business has been slow in the zombie killing industry but zombies are being used more and more in the entertainment industry. Zombie movies and video games seem to be becoming more mainstream as of late. I decided to acknowledge the people that keep these flesh/brain eaters at bay but only one character per game or else this would be a outbreak of Resident Evil characters.
Many of you may want to send hatemail trying to correct me saying that Edward Carnby deals with paranormal enemies not zombies. My rebuttal is that I believe that though Micheal Jordan has long retired, he's still a basketball player. The original PC version of AITD, Edward fought zombies as well as a few ghost here and there. He also had this really stupid looking mustashe which has nothing to do with killing the undead but it really annoyed me. The way he fought in this game is kind of what James from Silent Hill looked like; just plan awkward looking. Even though he didn't look intimidating, Edward would strike fear in zombies in his heyday and not because of his poorly made movie.
Some people say this isn't a zombie game. Those people are absolutely correct. Castlevania II is a game about killing a vampire. I reitterate: A Vampire. Singular. Simon Belmont is awesome at killing Dracula but there were a lot of zombies on the way to the castle. So let's get this settled: How many vampires does Simon (re)kill? One Vampire. How many zombies do you fight? Thousands. The zombies never stop spawning. You have no choice but to take these ghouls down. The entire belmont family is known for taking down Dracula but that Vampire Killer whip has tasted more zombie flesh than vampire flesh in it's glorious career.
Zeke is featured on the only game on this top ten that is considered a kids game. Zeke was a pretty interesting kid. Zeke could of just ran away and found a zombie free neigborhood. Zeke instead chose to remain in his neighborhood and eliminate the undead. He also wore 3-D glasses all the time. He must of liked James Cameron's Avatar a lot. On top of that he was able to defeat Jason Voorhees with just a simple water gun. He fought a bunch of zombies a well, all while trying to save his neighbors who are suprisingly acting like there isn't a zombie apocolypse at hand. I believe that this game gets kids ready to play Resident Evil 2 pretty well. Zombies ate my neighbors was my first suvivor horror game.
A game that not many have heard of, Hunter: The Reckoning was similar to the more popular game Gauntlet but slightly better. Originally a Role playing game similar to D&D.... wait no history lesson. All I'm going to say is if you have three friends I suggest playing this game if you find it. Now back to zombie slayers. Kassandrr was a small Asian girl that was most likely a scene kid. Maybe emo but whatever. Her emo class (Martyr) was pretty cool. Every time she took damage, her enemy would take damage as well. She was pretty hot too. That definately helped her get on this top ten. See for yourself; exactly my friends. Approximately zero fat chicks on this top ten.
The Few, The Proud, The Zombie Slayer. What was that guy's name again? Oh yeah he doesn't have one. Let's just call him Usm. So anyway, Usm was sent on a top secret mission which I assume was immediately after he killed all the monsters in Doom which was another game with an unnamed United States Marine so lets just say its the same guy. Packed with his unlimited ammo, Usm went on a journey to find Dr Hellman who was creating an army of zombie to take over the world. One of the things that makes Usm so cool and manly is that he was man enough to never quit. Technically, Usm didn't even set foot on the island before he was bitten and infected with the zombie virus. Usm could of gave up on life right then and there but he chose to kill as many of those zombies as he could before he became a zombie himself. Usm was awesome enough to defeat an island worth of zombies but not man enough to get a name. So sad.
The only character in this top ten that was in a game featured in the beat-em-up catagory which is one of the reasons why he's so awesome. The zombies that Rikiya fought not only fought flesh eating zombies, he also fought zombies that knew how to fire weapons. Some zombies were fast, other zombies were able to throw weapons. Yeah he may have been a cyborg, that doesn't make him less than a man. He slices his enemies in half people! In Half!
Louis. Wow. What can I say about this guy. Louis is a scared black intern. An intern for what you ask? Who cares; there are zombies every where. (But if you do care, he's a junior systems analyst. For those who don't know too much about how a businesses get free labor, in the job world typically: Junior = intern = work for free = sucks to have 'junior' in front of your job title. Hmm, a black guy that does work for free. I think I've heard that before.) Anyway, Tobi.... I mean Louis is a character with little character development. Why is he so high on this top ten then? The little character development he does have is very important. Louis is scared and confused. Despite how highly we think of ourselves, if a zombie outbreak takes over your city, and there are only you and three other people alive, you are going to be scared. If you say you have a "full proof zombie plan" you're wrong. Plans fall apart. If they didn't fall apart, 50% of marriages wouldn't end in divorce. Zombie plans fall apart so your zombie plan may fail. Louis probably had a plan but it didn't work out so his scared ass followed those three other people hoping that zombies perfer white meat over dark. Louis is awesome because he is more in touch with the typical human being put into a life threatening situation.
This most likely will be a suprise to everyone. Out of the numerous characters in the Resident Evil series, why would I choose the guy that looks like he can't even shave properly? I'll tell you why. It's simple really, Bruce sealed the deal with his love interest. Not "Oh maybe Chris slept with Jill or Sheva" or "Leon had to get some tail from at least jailbait Ashley". The last thing you see on RE Dead Aim is Bruce on top of the love interest Fong Ling and says something clever before he ravages his soon-to-be next notch on his no doubt illustrious belt. I forget what he says but it was probably something cool like "I'm about to inject you with MY T-virsus". Okay maybe that was pretty lame but that just proves that I'm not Bruce. Every character from Resident Evil could kill zombies, but Bruce Mcgivern could get laid immediately after a zombie attack and without a shower.
What does that G stand for anyway? Sorry everyone, I had to say it. On HOTD: Overkill, G is newly graduated AMS agent on his first (Definately not his last) assignment involving mutants (zombies). G is an amazing character mostly because he kills hordes of zombies but everyone on this list kills hordes of zombies. What makes him so special is that no matter what came at him he never lost his cool... or his sunglasses. Also he was able to tolerate his loud, angry, and crazy minority side kick Isaac Washington. The guy had to fight a monster that produced enemies from her vagina. Despite all that, he saves the day and doesn't look for a new job unlike what any normal person would do. My guess: G stands for "Gahhhh! What are all these vanquished zombies doing by my feet? Oh yeah I forgot, I'm awesome."
This shouldn't be a suprise to anyone. If it is, you should probably play the game. Where should I start? Got it *Ahem* Holy s***! If zombies slept, they would check under their bed for Frank West. He is the Mcgyver of zombie slaying. Give him a city full of zombies, a bag of croutons, a toothpick and three days and you will not only get a city full of the deadest undead ever but also some really nice pictures that the whole family could love. Count 'em two wars ladies and gentlemen this man has taken pictures of yet he still hungers for action. Here's what really separated the rest from the West: All the other people in this top ten character either lived in the area and a zombie outbreak occured, went on a mission not knowing that an outbreak happened/going to happen or at least knew what was going on and made sure to bring their magical unlimited ammo guns with them. Frank West was in a helicopter seeing people getting killed on the way to the mall (the pilot even suggest to take him back home which Frank respectfully declined.) and only brought a camera and balls of steel that would make even Duke Nukem's privates form a mangina. Frank West is the cure for T-virus, G-Virus and any other zombie related disease.
Zombies beware. If real people can perform the feats that these fictional characters can do, zombies will be the next animal on the endangered species list. Every zombie slayer started off with a zombie and a goal and all of these characters exceeded their expectations. Stats: *Gender* Male: 9 Female: 1 *Genre* Survivor Horror: 2 Adventure: 4 Rail Shooter: 2 First Person Shooter: 1 Beat 'em Up: 1 *Ethnic Group* Caucasian Decent: 6 Asian Decent: 2 African Decent: 1 Unknown: 1 *Occupation involving defense/protection prior to outbreak situation* Yes: 6 No: 4 *Infected* Yes: 2 No: 8 *Primary weapon* Firarms: 4 Melee weapon: 2 Firearms and Melee weapon:1 Toy:1 Available resources: 2
List by Cheeseonmybread (01/19/2010)
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