One of the coolest concepts introduces in recent years was the achievement. By doing certain things in games you either earn an achievement or a trophy (of various precious metals). Along with the trophy or achievement you get a score based on the achievement that will add up over time and you can show off to all of your friends.
Life would be so much cooler if we earned an achievement for doing hum-drum things in or lives, like drinking a beer early in the morning or showering in record time to make it to work on time. Of course I know you can get trophies for playing well in sports or winning a beautiful contest and various other way, but it would just be great to rack up a gamer score to show for it.
Closest thing in real life: Boyscouts, Foursquare
360 Games With the Most Achievements: The Orange Box and Devil May Cry Collection, both with 99.
I know this one is a bit obscure and a slight stretch for those that didn't own an NES, but back in the day your NES could give you a really annoying flashing orange/purple/green etc screen that let you know your game isn't working the way it's supposed to. So simple solution: Take out the cartridge and blow on the connector pins. If only that actually worked on everything!
Just imagine: your kid is acting like a brat...hold him/or her down and just blow on their arm or face and presto!!! A well behaved child!! Girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on you: repeat previous steps for instant faithful relationship and finally internet or cable not working? Just give it a good blow!!!
Closest thing in real life: Sadly just the NES cartridges
Fun Fact: Even though it was always thought that this helped the NES cartridge in the long run it could cause potential damage to the cart...but hey short term is what we are going for!
#8: REAL Magic
I know that "Magic" exists in our world, but let me clarify what I mean by REAL magic: Your friend was killed by a giant alien parasite so you use Life 2 to bring them back to life, as healthy as they ever were. Or you are about to be destroyed by an impossibly difficult foe, so you some Arthur's Knights of the Round Table to aid you in victory. That's what I call REAL magic.
Of course these are just two examples but there are tons in the video game world! Things would be so much easier if I could cast a magic spell to make myself bigger and stronger or summon someone to help me fight my battles with me...little battles though, nowhere near anything like fighting a giant monster.
Closest thing in real life: Science, of the advanced nature and magicians who use slight of hand to grand effect.
Fun Fact: Early games produced by Square/Enix helped shape magic the way we use it today. The original Final Fantasy used white and black magic that could only be used a set number of times until your mages went to an inn, with black magic being used for offensive purposed and white magic used for curing that which ails you. Dragon Warrior was also famous for using offensive black magic and healing spell to aid your lone warrior and used MP instead of the system employed in Final Fantasy.
#7: The Hammerspace
All hail the almighty hammerspace!! The Hammerspace is an extra-dimensional, immediately available storage space that has been employed in tons of video games, cartoons, and movies. Unfortunately it is, of course, only used in the fictional realm.
Game series like The Legend of Zelda and the Metal Gear series are famous for using them. Link pulls bombs out of thin air, the size of his head. When checking his inventory you can see that he can carry up to 30 of these!! Or the Biggoron sword, which is almost as long as long also comes out of thin air. Solid Snake can whip out assault rifles, sniper rifles, and even a rocket launcher out of NOWHERE!!! Otacon even points out this uncanny ability to Snake in the Smash Bros. series!
Imagine never having to park your car, no more looking for it at the grocery store, just get out of the car, turn it off and put it behind you and it magically vanishes awaiting for you to access it later. Or wanting to woo some ladies and pulling a guitar put of nowhere to play a nice ballad. Science needs to figure this concept out now.
Closest thing in real life: A really, really, really, big backpack with uncanny packing skills.
Fun fact: Warner Bros' Looney Toons cartoons are famous for using the hammerspace for comedic effect and may have even pioneered its use. Where did Wile E. Coyote get that help sign?? That's right...the hammerspace.
Most famous video game characters have one thing in common: a faithful until the end animal sidekick. Mario has Yoshi, Sonic has Tails, Mega Man has Rush, Jak has Daxter, Sam has Max and the list just goes on and on and on and on. And they weren't only useless mascots or sidekicks they actually serve a higher purpose for their master. Rush would turn into a variety of things, Tails could make Sonic fly, and Yoshi was a faithful garbage disposal combination steed.
I know that we have dogs, cats, horses, and all sorts of other household critters but it is rare to find one as faithful as those portrayed in games. And ours don't speak our native tongue, be it english, spanish or pig latin. Your dog is probably awesome, but when you need a quick ride playing a flute like instrument would have your faithful animal pop out of nowhere to give you a ride.
Closest thing in real life: A dog who stays near his master's grave, long after its master is dead.
Fun Fact: Daxter, the animal side kick for Jak, isn't any real animal you will ever find in the wild. He has been deemed an Ottsel, that is half otter, half weasel. Its a weird combo but hey it worked....for a little bit anyway.
#5: The Reset Button
If you are like me you hate losing. Losing sucks....it isn't any fun. Of course you grow from losing...its a growing experience blah blah blah. It sucks. One little button could change all that and it was usually on the front of your system: the reset button.
The reset button gives you a second chance to learn from your mistakes without the sting of the game over screen. Learning and growing without the pain. Nowadays the process has been streamlined! All you do is pause the game and select restart level.
Imagine making a job losing mistake at work or picking a fist fight with the 5'3" 6th degree black belt master at a bar. You will pay the price. There is no getting out of it. No magic reset button, but how great would it be if you could just take a ten minute reset and keep your mouth shut and erase that mistake?
Closest thing in real life: Nothing
Fun Fact: In the original Animal Crossing game you and the reset button get a good scolding when your old faithful friend is used. Mr. Resetti, an anthropomorphic mole would pop up and berate you for erasing your mistake and even threatened to reset your game himself.
Anyone who is an adult no longer living with their parents know how hard money can be to come across. It doesn't grow on trees and doesn't pop out of bricks or ? blocks. You gotta work for that green. More than almost anything on this list I wish money was as easy to come by as it is in video games.
Take Ducktales for example: the whole of the game is money money money money.....money! You go on a treasure hunt for lost exotic treasures, but along the way diamonds and rubies rain from the sky! You just walk past a certain spot and BAM! diamond. A little further more diamonds. If I walked outside and diamonds rained from the sky life would be a lot easier! In the GTA series all you do is knock someone out and they drop money; in Mario they are just floating in twos and threes and fours waiting for you to just grab them, in the LEGO games all you have to do is break something or build something and instant money! Man it must be good to be in a video game.
Closest thing in real life: Finding loose change in the sofa, dryer or dollar bills in a pair of pants not worn in a long time.
Fun Fact: In Ducktales the hardest ending to achieve is the ending in which Scrooge McDuck earns $0 through the course of the entire game. This sounds like it wouldn't be to difficult in word alone but money is literally so easy to come by you have to try extremely hard to avoid it.
Various things in life can be extremely difficult; losing weight, learning to drive, taking a test, making money, meeting a member of the opposite sex, and the list goes on and on and on. Wouldn't it be great if you could change how hard these things are and make a bit easier? Luckily video games make this possible for their character and their worlds.
Almost every game these days has some sort of difficulty setting. Sports have rookies, pro, all star, legendary or some sort of variation. Shooter have there's as well; easy, normal, heroic, legendary or some variation (my personal favorites have always been the Bond series agent, secret agent 00 agent and 007 agent.) Of course the harder the difficulty the greater the reward. Halo 3's true ending isn't achieved unless it is beaten on legendary. But some of us want to get through the game....so we just blast through on easy and enjoy our fake ending and go on with our life. So yeah life being hard can be more rewarding but for the unimportant things in life it sure would be nice to make it a tad bit easier.
Closest things in real life: knowing the right people
Fun Fact: Most games use easy, normal or hard but in the '90s shooter would get extremely clever with their difficulty names. Wolfenstein 3D, the modern first person shooters Granddaddy, had great difficulty names: "Can I Play Daddy?", "Don't Hurt Me", "Bring 'Em On!" and "I am Death Incarnate!". Others, such as Doom and Duke Nuke 'Em, followed suit. Damn I'm Good!
#2: The Cheat Code
The awesome cheat code!! How sweet you would be in real life!! Take my hand and let your imagination go if you: You wake up in the morning, you're starving and have an empty wallet. So you jump in the air a few times step to the left and then right, throw three punches and a kick and BAM!!!! A nice crisp $100 bill is now in your wallet. Breakfast, which just a few seconds ago was impossible, is not only a dream but you can now get the breakfast of champions!! Steak and eggs table 2!
The funny thing about cheat codes is they weren't intended for you and I, they were originally intended for testers so they could make testing games that much easier. But developers eventually left them in for us. Some give you money, some skip levels, some give tons of weapons, and some just give you a huge head (literally). Some cheat codes were accessed via the title screen with a simple button sequence, some in the BGM menu by listening to certain music tracks, and some during the game itself. Thank you Mr. Developer for the great cheat codes through the years.
Closest thing in real life: Plagiarism or fraud (I recommend neither)
Fun Fact: The most famous of all cheat codes is The Konami code. It was originally used in Gradius but achieved wide spread fame in Contra. For those who have lived under a proverbial rock the code is up, up, down, down, B, A and then usually followed by start or select start. The Konami code even made an appearance in Wreck-It Ralph and it was hard for people not to stand and cheer!
At last number one...and I think that which would be the greatest of all video game concepts is the extra life! You're lovable dog or cat is on death's door and you aren't willing to let them go...just give them an extra life and before you know it, your pup or kitten passed and comes back immediately as good as new! Apply this concept for mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa! Even yourself; go skydiving without a parachute or challenge Mike Tyson to a boxing match!
The extra life can be achieved in many different ways; in the good old days you achieved a certain number of points and you got an extra life, then it evolved from the. A green mushroom here or a doll of the character cleverly hidden away here or there. Any way you look at it the extra life is fantastic and I wish I had one right now...I'd go dodge traffic on the interstate for a good rush!
Closest thing in real life: Religion (my personal preference is Christianity)
Fun Fact: The concept of the 1-up (extra life) originated in pinball. Super Mario Bros. was the first game that made the extra live achievable by picking up an object. In this case it was the green mushroom. However is was also achieved by kicking a turtle shell through 8 enemies, jumping on 8 consecutive enemies without touching the ground or collecting 100 coins.
That's all she wrote...or I wrote. These are just a few of the concepts that are possible through the magic of video games! Real life is awesome. I don't know about you but I enjoy it. However if some of the things on this list were possible it'd be even more fun! Oh well...that's why video games are an escape when the real world does suck.
Honorable Mentions: Memory card-save all sorts of memories without even trying
Magic songs-make it rain, change the wind etc etc
Rewind-Instead of losing a life when you make a mistake just rewind a la Prince of Persia
Healing with alcohol- Drink a beer feel fantastic and heal a gunshot wound
I hope you enjoyed this list as much as I enjoyed writing it. Anyway until the next list comes your way this is the Battle Between Good and Evil(or BBGandE for short) saying I hope you enjoyed and until next time stay cool.
List by BBGandE (09/27/2013)
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