"Bond? Bond, Are you 'theah'? Bond?"

My dear Lord, the world's greatest secret agent for Her Majesty's Secret Service didn't deserve this...thing. This, is for sure, the most pitiful attempt of a 007 game in all gaming history! Yes, I'm not kidding. He deserved better... In this piece, you play as Bond, whilst in a mission to save the world from the communists. How original... See how much I despite this game.

Graphics - 3/10

Top-view surroundings, side-view characters. Urgh. Bond's running animation is so crappy, that looks like he has carnivore ants in his underwear. Never mind the character job, they are all bad. Jaws looks like an overgrown beaver.

Sound - 1/10

Almost the same horrible MIDI tracks at all parts and stages of the game. What saves this one from a complete disaster is the original Theme song, which is the coolest and it is well reproduced here.

Gameplay and Controls - 2/10

Run. Look for things under people's beds. Run. Find an use for this thing. Get something in exchange. Run. Block. Punch. Explode enemies that leave little boxes with stuff in it. Run. Shoot enemies. Run. Defeat bosses. Run a little more. It's like that. During all parts of the game. Oh, I forgot. You will deflect lasers and bullets with shields. Yuck... For the controls, they are responsive, and Bond can run 8 ways, but that does not justify anything.

Story - 0/10

Starts in China. Passes through Bangladesh, Sahara, London, Tibet, blah blah blah. But the worst thing is the fact that the entire story is recycled from other Bond movies, rather than an original one. OddJob should not say a word, for chrissakes! But in this game he curses the heavens. and since when General Gogol is an enemy? In this one, he wears a Robotic suit and tries to crush Bond for the sake of Mother Russia. Aw, c'mon! The story is so shallow, it wouldn't surprise a kid.

Lasting Appeal - 1/10

If you waste 3+ hours of your precious life with this thing, you will never (EVER) want to play it again. Not even when you discover it has two endings. Whohoo. Even though the ending has like 5 seconds of extra scenes. Weee.

Overall - 1/10

Stay away from this dirty little secret in Bond's life. It is nothing but a waste of time, when you should have been playing Metal Gear Solid for the GBC. If you have played this one... My very condolences, my boy...

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 12/11/01, Updated 12/11/01