"You could believe a caveman's life is hell after playing this."

Some old Gameboy games own, like Zelda: Link’s Awakening and Mario: Land of the Six Golden Coins, both of which are in my opinion the greatest portable games of their era. Another old Gameboy game, which no one has ever heard of, and will ever, hear of, is Humans. The game is published by Atari and produced by some company I’ve never heard of called Gametek. The game in it’s era was a zit on the face of gaming. Today it’s a pimple of the ass of gaming. This game is horrible. I originally got it from a fried who told me the game was good and let me borrow it. He never came back for it, and even when I offered to return it he said you could keep it for a little while longer. I can see why he never came back it now. All aspects of this game suck except the story. The story is original. I have never even heard of another game that possesses a story like this, and it reminds me of the excellent strategy game series produced by Sid Meier, Civilization. The graphics are horrible and bland. The characters in the game look like specks, and the Gameboy is obviously capable of more than that. Music in this game is rather decent but gets extremely annoying and very repetitive as the game goes on. There is only one music theme throughout the entire game as well. Sound effects are not even present in the game. The gameplay feels like a stepping on a rock and hurting your foot. Control in the game is horrible, and it is not fun whatsoever. The replay value of the game is utter crap. Humans is a game that should be avoided at all costs and really needs to keep its ass in a burrow for the rest of its gaming existence in my software library. Review on…

Story-6/10- There is a resemblance in this to the Civilization game of Sid Meier. You start with a tribe of men. You have a settlement and the great leader of the tribe has decided that it’s time to become more technologically sound. He appoints you to tell your fellow tribesman where to go, and what to do. However, the difference between this and Civilization is that you get technology at the end of each level rather than as the game progresses. And rather than a specific technology you get something like the wheel or the spear and the end of each mission. And in Civilization you get a specific technology such as Horseback Riding or Feudalism. The story is decent as a whole and presents itself rather well. I think its wins itself a 6. Good but it could have been a hell of a lot better. Reminds me of Britney Spears recently….

Graphics- 2/10- May God smite his wrath upon the graphical designers of this game. The only things that use the Gameboy’s decent power for its time are the menu screens. Those still don’t look that great though. The menus show mammoths, cavemen, and some dumbass that says “Code Good” or “Code Bad.” That is a futile attempt to make it sound like a caveman when we don’t know what they say or what they sound like. The level graphics are what bring this down to the abysmal score of two. The levels look like a bunch of rocks jumble together with them going up multiple heights. The huts at the beginning of the level look like a child’s drawing. In game characters remind me of a kids bad experience with finger-paint. Why go on babbling about the graphics? Let’s end it here. 2. The game gets it and deserves it. God should smite Atari as well.

Sound…err…Music-2/10- There are no sound effects in this entire game. The game’s sound score is based upon the music entirely. There is only one musical theme by the way. It’s some kind of digital techno music that plays through the game endlessly. There is no break in it whatsoever. It restarts every time you play a level and repeats throughout the game in an ad infinitum. The theme itself is good, but it’s the fact it repeats on forever without a break and creates an annoyance that makes a person go insane. I already am of course. If there were multiple themes in this game, the sound might be all right, but the incessant repetition of the theme makes the game another discrepancy I have with this old Atari published game. I believe a 3 is right for the music of the game. Enough typed.

Sound Effects- N/A- “…”.

Gameplay-1/10- This gameplay reminds me of Michael Jackson’s bad music and Hunt for Red October’s (GB) gameplay put together into one fun nix that forms the worst game ever when it games to gameplay on any one portable game I have ever played. This feels like a really crappy puzzle game. Let be more thorough, the controls of the game are simply horrible. You must move a character to until you reach a ledge or a cliff that must be climbed. You find the controls and right buttons in order to do the command which feels like a maze at first. You must go back and select another person in order to climb. Sometimes you will need to stick 2 or 3 people on top of each other in order to reach another area. The spear can be used by finding the hard ass controls in order to get it out and fly over the ledge (seriously). The fun factor of this game is limited by the hard controls. There is not much to the game. You simply must be able to do it. This game is hard and repetitive. A 1. Horrible, and it must be experience in order to feel the sordid manner of the game.

Replay Value-1/10- The game is a horrible gaming experience and a waste of two hours of my life I spent playing it again for this review. I’m going to throw it out in the street and let a car run over it, and forget I ever played this game.

Rent, Buy, or Screw All Together-Screw All Together Self explanatory.

Pros
-Original Story
Cons
-Everything other than the above item.

GameFAQs Score- 2/10- A caveman’s ass is better than this.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 02/05/03, Updated 07/26/03