"This Game Will Crush Your Soul. Worst Game I Have EVER Played"

Now, straight off the bat, let me tell you I have a lot of experience in playing games. I currently own 7 consoles, and I own over 120 games in total. My claim of it being the worst game I have ever played is not being biased, one-sided, or ignorant.

But this game is about as appealing as Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. (For confused Americans, Margaret Thatcher was the first female Prime Minister in the UK. Google image search time.) It is absolutely horrible. I don't think I can express just how much this game sucks. It sucks so much, the World Union of Sucking nearly went on strike because of it.

Plot: 1
Nothing out of the ordinary from a Tarzan game. There are various problems around the jungle, and you must stop them. However, as we all know, Tarzan is Lord of the Jungle (the title even tells us that), so why all his creature friends are attacking him is bizarre.

Graphics: 0
Suck, suck, suck. Absolutely awful. Whichever artist is responsible for this game has as much artistic talent as a colourblind hedgehog. In a bag. They're grainy, they mesh, they're just horrible.

Sound: 0
Prepare for ears to bleed. Supposed to be a "Jungle Beat", they are just random techno noises pieced together. Major suckage. Add nothing to the game.

Gameplay: -10
Thats right, minus 10. As I said, this is quite possibly the worst game ever. The game is incredibly difficult, and the levels are huge. It took me years to get past the first level. If my memory serves me, you have about 10 minutes to find 30 flowers, go find a doctor, and then run all the way back to the start of the level to give it to a sick gorilla. However, the enemies respawn the second you move off the screen. Feel the anger rise. A "difficulty curve" does not exist. There is only one difficulty: Insane. The levels are huge, which some may think is a good thing, but not when you have to repeat everything every single time you pass it. Atrocious.

Overall: 1
I'm not to sure if I've got the message across yet, but this is a pretty bad game. I am a collector of games, and even I considered giving this away, just so the bloody thing would be out of my site. The only reason this game gets a 1 is because I can't give it a 0.

Amoeba on Saturn could of done better with this. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 08/03/04