"Killer10/10"

This game is not good. Really, if you don't care about story, or artsy fartsiness, just forget about this game. Go play Devil May Cry or Ninja Gaiden. Now those are good game!

If you are still here, this game is perfect. Sure... The gameplay isn't good (it's bad, actually) and it's very confusing, but it's beyond good. And evil. It's beyond good and evil.

Resident Evil 4 and Panzer Dragoon, okay, and now combine the two. Multiply them by crappy and more linear, and bam! That's Killer 7. Sounds great! The only button you can use to move is the big ol' green A Button. That's right, just one button to move, you can't even use the Joystick. No swiveling or strafing for you, buddy! Back in my day only the richest kings of kings were allowed to swivel and strafe, anyone else who tried to do so was immediately shot, I kid you not. You can turn around with the B Button, but it is rarely used during combat, mostly used for back tracking and whatnot. Then, here is the kicker, there are bad guys! Big, mean, INVISIBLE, bad guys. Yep, every enemy in the game is originally invisible. How ‘bout that? Invisible enemies make the games ten times better, and from now on, every other game should be required to make the enemies invisible. It's SO awesome!

Up to now, I've been describing the third person controls, but alas, the combat is in first person. Press the R Button a la Resident Evil 4, and then shoot. A gun. Shoot a gun. To kill the bad guys. So, picture a game where you walk in a straight line for hours on end occasionally stopping to fight invisible suicide bomber endings. BEST GAME EVER MADE. Oddly, the game play works, once you get over the initial terribleness, it kind of comes together in its own quirky way. There is even an RPG-like system where you can level up your different “personalities” using blood. There are a few new moves you can learn, other than the obvious speed and power upgrades. Badassery.

The graphics in this game are just amazing. The game looks like Sin City in cartoon form, with more of a Japanese influence. It is one of the most visually stunning games ever released, well at least the characters are. Most of the backgrounds are fairly generic, lifeless, and repetitive, but it doesn't really hinder the game. There are a few levels in the game that really break the mold, and those parts are incredibly beautiful and memorable. Really, the worst backgrounds are all of the indoor segments, overly dark and boring.
Sound in the game definitely works. From the psychotic cackling screams, to the slightly ambient soundtrack, to the surprisingly solid voice work, everything really fits the game well. Nothing in it is particularly amazing, but it all works.

Just when you thought you knew weird stories—I'm looking at you Metal Gear Solid 2—Killer 7 comes and pushes weird to a whole new level. You're an old man with extreme schizophrenia, and you assassinate people for the government. Yep, that's it. That's the whole story. PREPARE TO GET YOUR MIND BLOWN. The only story really comparable to it is Metal Gear Solid 2, but after a few hits of acid. Really, it's by far the weirdest, and most amazing, story ever in a game. After beating it, read the plot analysis on GameFAQs, it will truly change your perspective on the game. It changed my life! I'm afraid of maids, public education, and men with afros now.

Don't come into this game expecting intense action or good gameplay. You have to have an open mind (intoxication helps), and low standards. But once you get into this game, it does not let go

Game Play – 3/10
Graphics – 7/10
Art Design – 10/10
Sound Design – 8/10
Story – 10/10

Overall – 10/10 (Or about a 3/10 if all you care about is action. The game really deserves about a 5/10, but I just can't do it. I have a reputation to keep up. And for the people who know about and like this type of game, it's a 10. If you are an average gamer, run as fast as you can. This game wants some fresh meat, and you're lookin' pretty tasty.)

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 04/03/06