"It's Viewtiful Joe. So why am I not happy?"

Being a fan of Viewtful Joe, I went into GAME for my little brother's birthday. I saw this, and I went "Sure, let's buy it." Bad idea.

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Graphics: 7/10

Well, I can't doubt the graphics. They're crisp and clear, and the characters move very fluidly. But as you play, it becomes evident that they're a bit too flashy. As you battle, it gets horribly confusing, especially if you're both the same character.

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Sound: 6/10

The sounds could be better, but the music on display isn't too bad. And while I can safely assume that Captain Blue Jr's voice annoys the ever-loving jebus out of me, the characters sound genuine. Joe's still got his voice, and aside from Sylvia, most of the characters sound like I imagined it. The battle scenes have good sounds, with the enemies giving a while not completely great, but satisfying "kapow" when you pummel them into the side.

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Story: 7/10

For a fighting game, it's actually pretty amazing that a storyline was put in as it is, apart from "randomly attacking someone for the hell of it". The story line is, that Captain Blue's retiring from the directing biz, and needs someone to take over as the star of his next film, or something like that. Sprocket requests that a tournament is held to determine a winner, and that's where this game was dug up. It's really unneeded, but it adds to the atmosphere, which is pretty much taken away by the gameplay. I just have to ask something though:

If Captain Blue's the one retiring, why is he fighting? One last bragging right, maybe?

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Gameplay: 3/10

This is where the game seriously fell short. If the story mode doesn't have you clawing your own eyeballs out, the multiplayer will. Actually, it won't have you clawing your eyeballs out, becuase it's not frustrating. It's just so boring. It's meant to be frustrating, when Hulk Davidson can't jump to the next platform, but in the end, you just go "screw it, let the other guy win".

I wanted the Story mode to so much be like Viewtiful Joe 1. Because that formula in 1 & 2 was what made it great. Joe goes through level, kills enemies, collects VFX bars, kills enemies in prettier way. It was pure genius from Clover. But here, it's obviously felt the need to fashion itself like Super Smash Bros: Melee, or any other decent party game, but it fails in pretty much every way. Instead of the kickass formula in 1 & 2, it pits you against a CPU, having you do monotonous chores like "Collect more gems than the enemy", or "Inflict the most damage on a whatshisface third party". In fact, the only time it ever is like Melee is when the mission is set to "be the last one standing". In Melee, you can just choose a nice 1 on 1 brawl and skip all the mundane crap, because that's really what you guys want to do. You want to pummel the enemy into the ground and step on his insides, not "collect gems". Granted, some missions are fun, like the one where you have to beat up the slot machine guy from VJ1, but others are just boring. Collecting gems is only fun in a gem collecting gems game, not a fighting game.

However, Clover have tried to innovate for their new game, but it all seems really unfinished. Mach Speed's meant to make you go faster, not make you fly. And Slow-Mo just seems to really lack the satisfaction you got when you went Slow-Mo in VJ1. I really liked the VFX Battle item, when used, transports you and your opponent into a minigame, but the worst part is, it doesn't tell you what to do them in them. Whether that's in the manual or rulebook, I don't know, but you shouldn't have to figure out what to do for five minutes while the opponent proceeds to smash you into oblivion. But the good news is, that you'll get most of them, considering there's only four minigames in it all.

I know, I do seem really critical about this game, but it has to be said. After being weaned on other, better fighting games from birth, Viewtiful Joe: Red Hot Rumble just seems to fall short. The multiplayer's a slight treat, but even then, you have to follow the same rules as Story Mode. There has been little to no attempt to differentiate the two. All it is, is "Story mode with three more players and a stage select". And with four players especially, it gets confusing. Not frantic, not crazy, not hectic, just confusing. If you've got four people attacking two CPUs in a flurry of light and attacks, you can't see what you're doing, or even where you are.

Also, for some unknown reason, you get a "Viewtiful Bonus" at the end of a battle awarded to a player. I mean, I was beating you by 400 points, damnit. How do you somehow win?

And last but not least, because you're probably asking me to end my rant now, is that the characters have quite a large imbalance. Other games have the characters at least relatively equal, but just look at almost broken characters like Charles the III, who can fly, is pretty damn fast, and can rapidfire, and Captain Blue Jr., who's yo-yo attack can hit you so fast that you rarely, or almost never have a chance to get up. Compare that to other characters like Joe, with is pretty much average, then you've got a group of really cheap characters, and a group of quite literally, never played ones.

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Buy or Rent: I would rent it. It isn't as bad as what I've described, exactly, and if you play it, you might be able to eke the tiniest bit of excitement out of it. But it seriously isn't worth the £40 pricetag it came with. In fact, it really isn't worth £20, so renting's your best bet.

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Verdict: Don't get this game. If you're a fan of Viewtiful Joe, you'll either be crushed like I was, or you'll play it, but still think something is seriously missing. Get Melee. It's £20 cheaper, 100% more awesome, and even after five years, still goes incredibly strong. There, you have more balanced characters, less fiddly controls, an astounding multiplayer, and the missions are nice all-out brawls.

Luckily, GAME had a 10-day refund.

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Do not use this FAQ without the explicit permission of the owner. Failure to do so may result in breaching copyright laws. ©2006 Eli Assayag.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 03/20/06