Review by OTACON120
""Maybe if we spell everything with K, people will still think we're kool!""
Hmmm.... like my title says, the creators seem to like spelling things with K where K is not needed to try and be ''KoOl!'', so I'm going to try the same thing in this review starting now... maybe the game will get better. ^_~
Otherwise, let me start this off by saying: IF I COULD SCORE LOWER THAN 1, I'd give this game a -6. Still haven't made up your mind? well, if you must....
Arggghhhhh!!!!!! Save me!!!! The kharacters are falling down like they have lead heads and feather feet! Seriously though, the graphics in this game suck kollective monkey ass. Unless you live in 1995, you have seen better. There is sometimes bad kollision detection, and overall, the graphics are nothing more than an eyesore. I feel enough has been said.
Music / Sound: 1/10
Hiyahh! Hoyahh! Hrahhh! Torrraaahh!!!! Try saying those, only in a really, REALLY stereotypical kung fu voice. This is what you should kome to expect. The music and sound are everything you have ever heard and kome to find from ANY Mortal Kombat game. The soundtrack is awful. At least ONE thing stayed true to the game. (Well, I take that back; there are lots of other krappy pieces that stick true to the series.) Put on the Yanni CD: This only has 50% the annoyance factor of Mortal Kombat's soundtrack.
Sorry, I had to go below 1 on this one. It was an absolute must. There isn't one original feature on this game, let alone very many features at all. Of the features on the game, only one kan be played with only one player. All the others require other people to play. It's all the same: fight kharacters who are fighting to win a tournament for some reason (it was to unclear to tell from my P.o.V.). Fight the person, don't lose, kill / give mercy / Make Friends / turn back time for your opponent to make them wet their diapers once again. Lather, rinse, Repeat.
This brings me to the performance of moves. Tell me again, why it is so damn komplicated to perform different attacks? I swear, it takes years (so klose to NOT being a metaphor) to perform an attack right, and when you finally do get it down, it almost NEVER hits the enemy because they seem to know how to be relentlessly cheap AND relentlessly STUPID at the same time. Please, someone, shoot me now.
Overall Entertainment: 1/10
Need I say more than what already has been?
Overall Score: 1/10
If after reading this review, you still can't decide whether to get this game or not, go ahead and grab it. My reasoning for this? If this kan't make up your mind, you aren't smart enough to komprehend good from bad anyway. No offense. ^_~
The moral of the story? How did you like my K misspellings? Did they add to the review at all? Did you think the review was extra ''KoOl!''? Yeah, neither did I. This works exactly the same way for this kreamy pile of krocodile krap known as Mortal Kombat Advance. Instead, just go buy a Super Nintendo and Mortal Kombat 2. Hell, you'd probably save $30, but you'd be paying $30 more than what MKA is really worth.
Reviewer's Rating: 0.5 - Unplayable
Originally Posted: 02/05/02, Updated 02/05/02
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