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    FAQ/Walkthrough by American Arsenal

    Version: 1.0 | Updated: 12/22/08 | Printable Version | Search This Guide

    
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        THE LEGEND OF ZELDA:  A LINK TO THE PAST
            An FAQ/Walkthrough, version 1.0 / Dec 22, 2008
                By American Arsenal <americanarsenal4 (at) gmail (dot) com>
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    --------- TABLE OF CONTENTS ---------------------------------------------------
    
          I.  Introduction
         II.  Story
        III.  Game Basics
    
         IV.  Walkthrough
              a.  Planning a Prison Break [Hyrule Castle]
              b.  Knights [East Palace]
              c.  The Earth Will Shake [Desert Palace]
              d.  Such Great Heights [Mountain Tower]
              e.  I Will Follow You Into the Dark [Hyrule Castle Again]
              f.  Filthy Beasts [Dark Palace]
              g.  Into the Flood [Swamp Palace]
              h.  Feed Me to the Forest [Skull Woods]
              i.  Rockin' the Suburbs [Thieves' Town]
              j.  The Coolest [Ice Palace]
              k.  The Dryness and the Rain [Misery Mire]
              l.  There is a Light That Never Goes Out [Turtle Rock]
              m.  Snicker at the Swine [Ganon's Tower]
              n.  No World For Tomorrow [The Final Showdown]
    
          V.  Secrets
         VI.  Weapons, Items, and Equipment
        VII.  Pieces of Heart Locations
       VIII.  Bosses
         IX.  Mini-Games
          X.  Shop Listing
         XI.  Warp Locations
        XII.  FAQ
       XIII.  Revision History
        XIV.  Legal Disclaimer
         XV.  Credits and Closing
    
    
      Looking for something in particular?  Don't feel like scrolling through the
      entire guide searching for one tiny detail?  Need to get to a certain chapter
      quickly?  No problem!  Use the search function by hitting Ctrl + F on your
      keyboard and typing in a keyword (i.e. "Ice Rod" or "Skull Woods").  Or,
      better yet, type in one of the Roman numerals listed up there in the Table of
      Contents to jump instantly to a certain section.  Try "IV.", for instance, to
      find the Walkthrough.  Got all that?  Cool, then let's get started.
    
      * WHAT'S NEW IN THIS VERSION OF THE GUIDE?  This is the first (and probably
        final) version of the guide!  So, technically, everything is new.  More
        importantly, everything is complete!
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
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         I. ----------------------------------------------------- INTRODUCTION
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    Hello and welcome to another FAQ -- written, directed by, and starring American
    Arsenal (that's me!).  So there's something I never thought I'd say again
    (err... or write again); I haven't had the time or desire to write one of these
    things in a long time, and now that I'm busy at college I thought FAQ writing
    was one hobby that I was done with forever.  However, I've just finished
    writing a monster essay about "A Tale of Two Cities" for my English class, so
    you might say that I've been "recalled to life" as an FAQ writer.  Ha ha ha!
    (that was lame).  Anyway, I haven't done this in a while (a long while), so
    apologies if I'm a bit rusty (or a lot rusty, which is more likely).
    
    "But wait a minute, dude!" I hear you protest.  "Why the hell would you choose
    Zelda: A Link to the Past of all games to write an FAQ for when it already has
    20 bajillion good ones?"  Is it because I'm a narcissistic butthole?  Well,
    yes, I am, but that's not the reason.  Now, I don't want to get all sentimental
    on your butts, but here's the real reason:  When I first started writing these
    FAQ things some five years ago, my ultimate goal was to hone my writing
    abilities to the point that I'd be able to write a guide that would do justice
    to one of my favorite games.  Zelda: A Link to the Past is one of my favorite
    games.  I mean, clearly that whole "do it justice" thing didn't quite pan out,
    but hey, I gave it a shot, right?  Right!
    
    Doesn't that just bring a tear to your eye?  Awww.  One final note before I
    shut the bleep up and get on with it:  This guide tastes best when listening to
    the album "Strangeways, Here We Come" by The Smiths.  It's their best (yes,
    even better than "The Queen is Dead" -- don't argue with me on this issue
    because you'll be wrong).  Alternatively, I recommend "Urban Hymns" by The
    Verve, "Love, Ire, and Song" by Frank Turner, and "Razia's Shadow: A Musical"
    by Forgive Durden.  I know you don't care, but you should.  Whatever.
    
    Enjoy the guide! (or not, whatever)
    
      - American Arsenal
          americanarsenal4 (at) gmail (dot) com
    
    
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         II. ----------------------------------------------------------- STORY
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    The following snippet of storyline was copied verbatim from pages 3-7 of the
    (SNES version's) instruction manual.  Enjoy.
    
                              - THE LEGENDS OF HYRULE -
    To set the stage for this adventure of the legendary Hero of Hyrule, it will be
    informative to delve into the Triforce myth, an ancient epic about the creation
    of the world that is still believed in the land of Hyrule.  Every culture has
    such myths and theories about the creation of their worlds, and it can be
    beneficial and entertaining to examine them in detail, for they often affect
    the present day social structure.  The legends say the mythical gods of Hyrule
    had as their chosen people the Hylia.  These ancient people left scrolls that
    are the primary source of the legends.
    
                              - THE CREATION OF HYRULE -
    According to the Hylian scrolls, the mythical gods descended from a distant
    nebula to the world and created order and life.  The God of Power dyed the
    mountains red with fire and created land.  The God of Wisdom created science
    and wizardry and brought order to nature.  And the God of Courage, through
    justice and vigor, created life -- the animals that crawl the land and the
    birds that soar in the sky.  After the gods had finished their work, they left
    the world, but not before creating a symbol of their strength, a golden
    triangle known as the Triforce.  A small but powerful portion of the essence of
    the gods was held in this mighty artifact, which was to guide the intelligent
    life on the world of Hyrule.
    
    Although it was an inanimate object, the Triforce had the power to bestow three
    titles which gave the person who received them great powers:  "The Forger of
    Strength", "The Keeper of Knowledge", and "The Juror of Courage."  From its
    hiding place in the so-called Golden Land where the gods placed it, the
    Triforce beckoned people from the outside world to seek it in the hope that
    someone worthy of these titles would find it.
    
    With their magic infused blood, the Hylian people were endowed with psychic
    powers and skill in wizardry.  It was also said that their long, pointed ears
    enabled them to hear special messages from the gods, so they were held in high
    esteem by many people in Hyrule.  Their descendants settled in various parts of
    the world and passed on their knowledge and magical lore to all people.  But in
    its passing, the lore was often distorted or lost altogether.
    
                             - GATES TO THE GOLDEN LAND -
    In Hyrule, there are many Hylian buildings which are mentioned repeatedly in
    the legends.  These buildings, which now lie in ruin, pale shadows of their
    former splendor, are closely tied to the Triforce.
    
    Some were even said to house the Triforce...
    
    If it were only a symbol of the gods, the Triforce would be coveted by many.
    But a verse from the Book of Mudora (a collection of Hylian legends and lore)
    made the Triforce even more desirable:
    
      In a realm beyond sight,
      The Sky shines gold, not blue.
      There, the Triforce's might
      Makes mortal dreams come true.
    
    Many aggressively searched for the wish-granting Triforce, but no one, not even
    the Hylian sages, was sure of its location; the knowledge had been lost over
    time.  Some said the Triforce lay under the desert, others said it was in the
    cemetery in the shadow of Death Mountain, but no one ever found it.  That
    yearning for the Triforce soon turned to lust for power, which in turn led to
    the spilling of blood.  Soon the only motive left among those searching for the
    Triforce was pure greed.
    
    One day, quite by accident, a gate to the Golden Land of the Triforce was
    opened by a gang of thieves skilled in the black arts.  This land was like no
    other.  In the gathering twilight, the Triforce shone from its resting place
    high above the world.  In a long running battle, the leader of the thieves
    fought his way past his followers in a lust for the Golden Power.  After
    vanquishing his own followers, the leader stood triumphant over the Triforce
    and grasped it with his blood-stained hands.  He heard a whispered voice:  "If
    thou has a strong desire or dream, wish for it..."  And in reply, the roaring
    laughter of the brigand leader echoed across time and space and even reached
    the far-off land of Hyrule.  The name of this king of thieves is Ganondorf
    Dragmire, but he is known by his alias, Mandrag Ganon, which means Ganon of the
    Enchanted Thieves.
    
                               - THE IMPRISONING WAR -
    I do not know what Ganon wished for from the Triforce.  However, in time evil
    power begin to flow from the Golden Land and greedy men were drawn there to
    become members of Ganon's army.  Black clouds permanently darkened the sky, and
    many disasters beset Hyrule.  The lord of Hyrule sent for the Seven Wise Men
    and the Knights of Hyrule, and ordered them to seal the entrance to the Golden
    Land.
    
    The Triforce, being an inanimate object, cannot judge between good and evil.
    Therefore, it could not know that Ganon's wishes were evil; it merely granted
    them.  Suspecting that Ganon's power was based on the Triforce's magic, the
    people of Hyrule forged a sword resistant to magic which could repulse even
    powers granted by the Triforce.  This mighty weapon became known as the blade
    of evil's bane, or the Master Sword.  It was so powerful that only one who was
    pure of heart and strong of body could wield it.  As the Seven Wise Men
    searched for a valiant person to take up the Master Sword, Ganon's evil army
    swarmed from the tainted Golden Land into Hyrule and attacked the castle.  The
    wise men and the Knights of Hyrule combined forces to wage war on this evil
    horde.
    
    The Knights took the full brunt of the fierce attack, and although they fought
    courageously many a brave soul was lost that day.  However, their lives were
    not lost in vain, for they bought precious time for the Seven Wise Men to
    magically seal Ganon in the Golden land. All of Hyrule rejoiced at the victory
    that upheld peace and order over Ganon's evil and chaos.  This war, which had
    claimed many lives, became known as the Imprisoning War in stories told in
    later centuries.
    
                             - THE COMING OF THE WIZARD -
    Many centuries have passed since the Imprisoning War.  The land of Hyrule
    healed its wounds and the people lived in peace for a long time.  Memories of
    the vicious Imprisoning War faded over the generations...
    
    So it is no surprise that no one was prepared for the new disasters that have
    recently struck Hyrule.  Pestilence and drought, uncontrollable even by magic,
    ravaged the land.  The king of Hyrule, after counsel with his sages, ordered an
    investigation of the Imprisoned Dark World (as the Golden Land had come to be
    known) but the wise men's seal was apparently intact.  He offered rewards for
    anyone who could find the source of these troubles.  In answer to these summons
    a stranger named Agahnim came and quelled the disasters with a previously
    unseen form of magic.  As a reward, the king gave him a new position as chief
    advisor and heir to the Seven Wise Men.  The masses proclaimed him their hero.
    Peace had returned to Hyrule... or had it?
    
    Of late, rumors have traveled their whispering path with alarming frequency.
    Rumors saying Agahnim now rules the country with his magic... Rumors of strange
    magical experiments in the castle tower at night... The people of Hyrule were
    gripped by dread.
    
                                       - PROLOGUE -
    One night, a girl's voice awakens you from your sleep.
    
    "Help me...
    My name is Zelda...
    I am in the castle dungeon."
    
    She telepathically pleads.
    
    You jump out of bed not knowing whether the voice was part of a dream or
    reality.  Upon leaving your bed, you find your uncle, who should be fast asleep
    at this time, preparing to go out, girded for battle.
    
    "I'll be back by morning," he says as he departs.  "Don't leave the house."
    
    You watch him leave with the family sword in hand and shield on arm.  This
    night is like no other... Who is Zelda?  Where had your uncle gone and for what
    reason?
    
    And so, on an ill-fated night, a new chapter in the legend of Hyrule's hero
    begins -- a new chapter in The Legend of Zelda!
    
    
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         III. ---------------------------------------------------- GAME BASICS
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    This is that completely useless chapter that no one ever reads because, well,
    why *would* anyone read it?  In short, the following will teach you the game's
    controls (like you didn't already know them) the basics, such as how to fight
    (just mash the same button over and over), and introduce you to the game's
    characters (who have very little role and even less personality).  So... that
    said, here we go!
    
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           CONTROLS
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    D-Pad - Movement
     The D-Pad's most basic function is to move Link across the screen.  Press up
     and Link will move up, press down and he'll move accordingly.  Simple enough.
     If an object can be pushed (usually a block), simply press the D-Pad toward
     the block and -- bam! -- it's moving.  It can also be used to move the cursor
     on menus.
    
    A Button - Action
     A is your action button.  Usually, it'll activate whatever weapon or item you
     currently have selected, but it is also used to open treasure chests and chat
     with the folks of Hyrule.
    
    B Button - Use Link's Sword
     This is your attack button.  Link receives his first sword very early on in
     the game and never looks back.  Simply pressing the button is good enough to
     slash with the blade, but if you hold it down you can charge up energy to
     release a powerful spin move.
    
    R Button - Grab, Dash
     The right shoulder button has two functions -- the first is to grab and lift
     things (such as pots or bushes).  The second function -- a quick dash --
     becomes available when Link receives the Pegasus Shoes.
    
    L Button - Open Map
     The left shoulder button will open Link's map both on the overworld and in the
     depths of dungeons (assuming that you've found the map).
    
    Start Button - Pause
     As in most games, pressing the Start button will halt the action and open the
     pause menu, from which you can save your game data.
    
    Select Button - Open Item Menu
     Hitting Select will also pause the game, but in this case it will open the
     Item menu, from which you can choose the desired tool from Link's inventory.
    
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           THE BASICS
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    Zelda: A Link to the Past is a fairly simple game (especially compared to all
    them newfangled Zelda games with all the complex controls and stuff), but some
    people are stupid so this section is for them.  This is basically the part of
    the guide in which I explain how to play the game; y'know, exploring Hyrule,
    fighting baddies, not dying -- all that fun stuff.
    
    ====================
    LINK'S BASIC ACTIONS
    ====================
    
    In order to fully explore the world of Hyrule, it's necessary to take advantage
    of Link's various actions -- some are as simple as pressing one button where as
    others require that you find an item first.  Have a look:
    
      * Talking:  Link himself is a mute (Holden Caulfield must be jealous), but
        that doesn't mean he hear what others have to say.  To speak to the
        denizens of Hyrule, simply approach whoever it is you want to have a chat
        with and tap A.  Most people don't have anything worthwhile to say, but
        it's always a good idea to speak to people in case they do have some hints
        to hand out.
        
      * Lifting and Throwing:  Hyrule is littered with stuff to throw -- pots,
        bushes, etc. can all be lifted up.  There are two reasons why this is
        useful:  first, often times you can score spare Rupees or heart refills by
        checking the contents of pots; and second, once lifted, a pot of bush
        serves as a weapon -- chuck it at a nearby enemy to cause some (minor)
        damage.  Press the R button to lift something up, but take note that
        certain stones are too heavy for Link to grab until you find the
        appropriate powerup.
    
      * Grabbing and Pulling:  Occasionally you'll come across levers, which can
        be grasped with the R button.  The game is also full of blocks that
        sometimes can be pushed in order to clear a path onward.  No buttons are
        necessary for this -- simply walk toward the block you want to push and if
        it can move, it will!
    
      * Opening Chests:  Dungeons, caves, and other peoples' houses are full of
        treasure chests just waiting to be opened.  Approach one and hit A to peek
        inside a chest, which can contain anything from Rupees to a new item!
    
      * Reading:  I know it's hard to believe, but Link does actually know how to
        read.  If you need evidence, walk up to a sign or tablet and press A to
        check out what it says.
    
      * Dashing:  After completing the East Palace, Link will receive the Pegasus
        Shoes, which enable him to dash along with Speedy Gonzalez.  Muy rápido
        and all that.  Hold down the R button to execute this move, which is
        effective both as a mode of attack and as a way to break open certain
        cracked walls.
    
      * Swimming:  As was the case with dashing, swimming is a no-go until Link
        finds the Zora's Flippers (which cost a whopping 500 Rupees -- what a
        rip-off!).  When you scrounge up enough cash to buy them, trying pressing
        A to stroke and B to dive.  Whoo!
    
    ============
    LINK'S MOVES
    ============
    
    You will acquire your first sword very early on in the game.  At that point,
    Link's attacking options are quite limited, but by the end of the game his
    arsenal will have expanded somewhat (and as I just used the word "arsenal", I
    feel it's imperative that I point out how awesome the football/soccer team
    Arsenal is -- like, totally awesome).  Anyway, here's a quick rundown of what
    Link can do once he's got a shiny sword in his hands:
    
      * Normal Slash:  This is the most basic attack in the game.  By simply
        tapping the B button, Link will swing his sword in the direction he is
        facing.  The faster you press it, the faster he'll go.  It's the most
        efficient way to deal with your average enemy, but some foes are impervious
        to it.
    
      * Whirling Blade Technique:  This is a more advanced technique that remains
        useful throughout the game.  By holding down B, Link will raise his sword.
        Hold it for a moment until your sword glitters, then release to unleash a
        spinning attack.  Not only is this move more powerful than the normal
        slash, but it can also damage multiple foes at once.  It works wonders if
        you're surrounded.
    
      * Dash Attack:  Once you obtain the Pegasus Shoes, Link gains the ability to
        dash.  As he dashes, he'll hold his sword erect (ha ha, I'm immature),
        meaning that any foe that gets in his way will feel the wrath of Link's
        blade.  Very handy at times.  Additionally, this dash move can also be used
        to bust open certain cracked walls.  Very handy indeed.
    
      * Beam Attack:  Until you get the Master Sword, this attack is unavailable.
        However, with the Master Sword in hand, Link can shoot a weak laser beam
        from the tip of his blade.  It's not powerful (at all), but it enables you
        to hit enemies from afar.  The only catch is that Link must have full
        hearts for this to work.  Take any damage and it's bye-bye laser beams.
    
    =============
    LINK'S SHIELD
    =============
    
    Defending yourself from enemy attacks is very easy.  So easy, in fact, that you
    don't even have to do anything.  As soon as Link gets his first shield, certain
    projectiles will be automatically deflected (assuming Link is faced the
    oncoming projectile -- his shield doesn't protect his little elf butt).
    Depending on which shield you have, some projectiles will be blocked while
    others will not.  The first, basic shield will only guard you from arrows and
    stones, the Red Shield ups the ante a bit by blocking fireballs, and the Mirror
    Shield is the ultimate form of defense -- it stops laser beams.
    
    ===========
    LINK'S LIFE
    ===========
    
    Health in the Zelda world is measured in hearts.  Link starts with only three
    hearts to his name, but by finding Pieces of Heart you can increase that
    number.  Four Pieces of Heart add up to create one full Heart Container (check
    out the appendices for a full list of locations for these things).  Also, you
    will receive one full Heart Container upon conquering each of the game's
    dungeons.  Restoring lost health is an easy concept to grasp, as well.  Heart
    pickups are ubiquitous across Hyrule -- you can find them in bushes or grass,
    underneath pots or stones, or in the wake of a defeated enemy.  And better yet,
    once you've found a Magic Bottle, you can purchase Red or Blue Potions at any
    of the shops across Hyrule to refill your hearts.  Fairy Fountains also exist,
    where you'll find Fairies to replenish yourself.
    
    ================
    EXPLORING HYRULE
    ================
    
    As you traverse Hyrule, you will inevitably discover a wealth of random items
    as you cut through bushes and grass.  By examining the world around you, you'll
    quickly discover things like Rupees (green means 1 Rupee, blue equals 5, and
    red is equivalent to 20 green ones!), apples (which restore a bit of health),
    arrow and Bomb refills, hearts, magic refills, Fairies, and even bees (try
    storing one in a Magic Bottle).  But be warned!  On rare occasions, you might
    be ambushed by an enemy hiding underneath a bush, or even a landmine planted
    in the grassy underbrush.
    
    If you're exploring the rivers and seas of Hyrule, be sure to watch out for
    two things:  Zoras and warps.  Zoras are nasty creatures who spit fireballs at
    you (gah!), where as warps will magically transport you to a different body of
    water somewhere in Hyrule.  These can be very handy, so I recommend checking
    them out whenever possible.
    
    ===================
    CONQUERING DUNGEONS
    ===================
    
    The real meat of this game comes in the exploration and conquest of dungeons.
    There are three real dungeons in the Light World, in which you'll be fighting
    to win three Pendants.  The Dark World adds an additional eight dungeons, in
    which you'll be finding Crystals as you come every closer to meeting with the
    game's ultimate nemesis, Ganon.  Each dungeon is completed when you defeat the
    boss which resides within.  Sometimes this guys are tough as balls, but more
    often they're pretty easy to deal with, so don't get scared of anything.
    
    In every dungeon, there are several items that are certain to show up.  Namely,
    the Map, the Compass, and the Big Key.  The Map is a map of the dungeon (umm...
    duh) and when you find the Compass you'll be able to see where the boss of the
    dungeon is located.  Finally, the Big Key is necessary to open certain doors,
    and it also unlocks the Big Chest, which always contains a new item or piece
    of supercool equipment.  There are also small keys, which are far more common
    and open regular doors.
    
    ==========
    CHARACTERS
    ==========
    
    As we all know, Zelda games are renowned for their in-depth storylines and
    well-developed characters.  Oh wait.  They're not.  A Link to the Past is full
    of two-dimensional characters with no backgrounds, motives, or stories, but I'm
    going to outline the major players anyway (just to annoy you).
    
      * Link:  Our hero!  He has pink hair, which seems a little odd, but hey, we
        don't judge others in this FAQ.  Anyway, he is one of many stereotypical
        RPG heroes who never says a word.  Maybe the point is to show that actions
        speak louder than words... Or something?  Link wakes up one night to find
        his Uncle with sword and shield in hand heading out into the night, and
        everything goes crazy from there.
    
      * Zelda:  As is the case with every Zelda game to date, Princess Zelda
        doesn't play much of a role in this game.  She makes an appearance at the
        beginning of the game, plays the damsel in distress a few times, and sits
        on her royal butt while Link does all the hard work.
    
      * Uncle:  Link's uncle doesn't have a name, but he does bestow Link with his
        very first sword and shield set after he either dies or becomes too drunk
        to use them responsibly.  The jury's still out on that one.  In any event,
        Link doesn't seem too upset about whatever fate befalls his uncle, so he
        was probably abusive.  He's also quite fat, so do your best not to confuse
        him with other well-known fatsos like Frank Lampard, Paul Robinson or Tom
        Huddlestone.
    
      * Sahasrahla:  The village elder of Kakariko Village, who has a name that's
        hard to pronounce (and makes me think of sauce).  Apparently he's a good
        guy, because he constantly gives Link advice via telepathy tablets found in
        various locations (and when I say "advice", I mean very basic and very
        obvious hints).
    
      * Agahnim:  For the first third or so of the game, you're supposed to believe
        that this evil wizard is the game's main enemy.  He isn't.  Whoops, did I
        just spoil the totally amazing plot of this game for you?  Sorry.  His
        showdown with Link is tons of fun, though, so don't complain too much.
    
      * Ganon:  In a plot twist to rival all plot twists (*hack, cough*), Link's
        true antagonist turns out not to be the wizard Agahnim, but rather the
        porcine villain otherwise known as Ganon.  The final confrontation with him
        is all kinds of fun, even more so than the one with Agahnim.  So there.
    
    
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         IV. ----------------------------------------------------- WALKTHROUGH
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
    
    This is the meat and potatoes (yum!) of the FAQ -- y'know, the part where I
    order you around and tell you what to do like I do with my servants.  Before we
    get into the good stuff (i.e. stuff that people will actually read), let me run
    through a quick laundry list of pointless notes and tidbits of useless
    information.
    
      * As this game is 2D, it's very easy to give directions using the four
        cardinal directions.  If that previous sentence sounded like gibberish to
        you, let me help:  North means up, south means down, east means right, and
        west means left.  Got that?
    
      * When you die, you're given the option to restart from where you last saved,
        Link's house, or the Sanctuary.  Should you die while in a dungeon, you'll
        restart at the mouth of the dungeon.  In the Dark World, you'll always
        restart at the top of the Pyramid of Power.  Just a heads up.
    
      * As is the case with any game, it's always a good idea to save often.  So,
        like, save often and stuff.  Yeah!
    
      * When such opportunities become available, I take the time to talk about
        side questy stuff (Pieces of Heart, new items, etc), so if you like to grab
        those things as soon as possible you're in luck.  If not, such extraneous
        pieces of information are put into separate sections, making them easy to
        skip over.  You can also find the same information in the appendices, so
        y'know, whatever.
    
      * Need additional help that I can't provide (haha, unlikely! [that was
        sarcasm, by the way])?  Check out the FAQs by Dark Vortex, CMoriarty, or
        DBM11085, all available on <www.gamefaqs.com/>.  If it's not in my guide or
        one of those others, it probably doesn't exist.  (Did that sound really
        haughty?  It wasn't meant to).
    
    So without further ado, the walkthrough!
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       a.  PLANNING A PRISON BREAK                               [Hyrule Castle]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    The game kicks off with a brief prologue detailing strange happenings in the
    kingdom of Hyrule.  Urged by a mysterious voice, our young hero-to-be wakes up
    to find his Uncle armed for battle and heading out for the night.
    
     == BREAKING IN =================================
    
    Hop out of bed and get a feel for moving Link around.  There are some hearts
    underneath the jars by Link's bed (lift them with R), but you won't be needing
    those yet.  Pop open the treasure chest next to the table to score the Lamp
    -- our trusty first item!! -- then exit south and venture out into the dark,
    rainy outside world.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Lamp.  It's not much use as a stand-alone item, but whenever
        there are torches around the Lamp can be used to great effect to illuminate
        your surroundings.  This really comes in handy when you need to shed some
        light on dark caves or chambers, as we'll see seen enough.  Be careful with
        it, though -- using the Lamp consumes magic power, so you'll want to keep
        an eye on that green meter in the upper right-hand corner of the screen.
    
    It's an ominous night outside Link's house.  Unearth a few bushes if you want
    and maybe you can scrounge up a few Rupees.  Be sure to take this time to
    familiarize yourself with the controls -- using your selected item (up to this
    point, the Lamp is all you've got), picking up and tossing bushes, leading down
    from ledges, et cetera.  For now, all paths save the one leading northward
    toward Hyrule Castle are blocked by soldiers (who, by the way, are more than
    willing to dispense some useful if fairly obvious tips about playing the game
    to any kid who wanders their way in the dead of the night -- how convenient!),
    so when you're ready start moving in that direction.
    
    One screen north of Link's house is a stone bridge that leads toward the
    castle's front gate.  A soldier is blocking the entrance, but as Zelda has
    probably made clear to you via her telepathic messages, there's a secret
    entrance.  Make the detour to the right of the gate.  Following the stone path
    around the side of the castle, plucking and chucking the bushes along the way
    to nab some Rupees.  Rip up the bush at the end of the path to find a pit --
    this is the secret entrance to Hyrule Castle.  In we go!
    
    Squish!  We land in a pool of shallow water.  Trot westward and you'll stumble
    across your Uncle, who is either dying or totally hammered.  Either way, he's
    kind enough to fork over his sword and shield, not to mention imparting the
    knowledge of a secret attack used by the knights of Hyrule -- the ever-so
    powerful whirling blade technique.  Execute it by holding then releasing the
    B button.  Fun!
    
      * NEW ITEMS!  Sword and Shield.  What's a Zelda game with the good ol' sword
        and shield combo, right?  As this is your first set, they're not the most
        effective pieces of equipment, but they're adequate for the time being.
        Hack foes apart with your sword by tapping the B button.  The shield,
        meanwhile, will automatically deflect arrows and stones, but not much else.
    
    Continue onward past your Uncle and walk south through the doorway.  To the
    right are your first enemies:  two basic soldiers.  This is your first chance
    to look like a BA with all your new weaponry, so don't mess it up.  Defeat both
    soldiers (two slashes each will do it, then head east and raid the treasure
    chest for a blue Rupee (which is equivalent to five green ones -- nice!).  The
    two pots nearby contain magic refills, which will prove useful if you went a
    little bit pyromaniac with your Lamp.  Speaking of that, by the by, you can try
    the Lamp out by lighting up the torch just across from the pots.  Nice, eh?
    Now head back to the left and exit south.
    
    Outside again.  This time, however, we're inside the castle walls.  Cut a path
    through the bushes and grass as you head west.  There are a couple of soldiers
    plus a knight (who is only marginally tougher) guarding the entrance to the
    castle, so slash your way through them, or better yet toss bushes at them from
    a distance.  It's just more fun that way, isn't it?  Yeah, it is.  Two of
    either will kill them.  When you're done having fun, move north into the
    castle.
    
     == INTO HYRULE CASTLE ==========================
    
    Now that we've infiltrated the castle, we are presented with several options
    concerning where to go.  Not many of them lead anywhere profitable just yet,
    however, so simply head left through the door.  Jog northward and you'll enter
    a narrow corridor filled with a trio of baddies.  Fight or dodge past them,
    then go east at the end of the hall.  Continue eastward until you reach a
    staircase leading down -- descend it to reach a small chamber in which there
    resides a blue knight guarding a treasure chest.  Kill the knight (beware --
    he's slightly tougher than the green meanies you're used to dealing with) and
    snag the key he drops.  Peek inside the chest to acquire a map of Hyrule
    Castle.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Map.  There is one of these in each of the game's numerous
        dungeons.  Once you've found it, you can open it up by pressing L.  If you
        find the Compass as well, you can pinpoint the room in which the dungeon's
        boss is located (although there is no Compass in this particular dungeon,
        so that bit of information will be totally useless -- sorry, my bad).
    
    Use your recently-acquired key to unlock the southern door and go through.  The
    next chamber is a tad larger than the previous one -- be wary of the Gargantuan
    Pit Of Black Death to the right.  Falling in won't kill you, but it will cause
    damage and return you to the room's entrance.  Do try to knock your foes into
    it, though, because that's just a whole lot of fun.  Anyway, slay the blue
    knight at the bottom of the steps and press on southward.  In the next area,
    there are a pair of blue knights, but also two handy pots laying around.  If
    you're quick enough, you can chuck a pot at each of the two knights, knocking
    them into the pit before they even realize you're there.  If not, just fight
    them as per usual and move on.
    
    Another enemy, another pot just ahead -- deal with the baddie accordingly and
    proceed along the path.  Walk westward underneath an overpass.  There are two
    green knights ahead -- you can either move on and attack them, or take the
    stairs to the north and sneak over them.  Whichever you want (but all the cool
    kids sneak past them).  Exit on the north side of the room to emerge in a
    small chamber in which all exits immediately lock down.  We'll have to defeat
    the baddie within to open the doors.  Easy enough, right?  So do it.  Since the
    door at the top of the stairs requires a key to open (and we have no such
    item), let's explore the room to the right, shall we?
    
    Keeping vigil over the treasure chest in this small room is yet another blue
    knight.  Whip him and snatch the key he drops, then check inside the chest to
    obtain the all-powerful Boomerang.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Boomerang.  Hell to the yes!  We have just obtained one of the
        best weapons early on in the game -- not only can it be utilized to stun
        most enemies (or better yet, it damages weaker foes), but it can also
        retrieve far off items.  What's that?  There's a far-off Rupee that you
        can't physically reach with Link?  No problem, use your Boomerang to grab
        it!  Go ahead and equip it now -- it'll do you a lot more good than the
        Lamp at this point.
    
    Regress to the previous room, dash upstairs, and use that shiny new key in your
    hot little hands to open the locked door.  Descend several sets of stairs to
    finally reach the castle's dungeons.  Quickly dispose of the green knight
    patrolling the area, then progress eastward to encounter the game's first
    "boss."
    
                          - Boss:  BALL AND CHAIN TROOPER -
        There's a reason why I put the word "boss" in quotes, and that's
        because this homie is a piece of cake.  A word of warning though:  take
        note that your new found Boomerang will *not* damage Mr. Balls, though
        it will momentarily stun him.  Approach him from a safe distance and
        wait until he swings his ball and chain.  As soon as he withdraws his
        weapon, dash in, throw your Boomerang at him and slash like crazy.
        Repeat these steps several times until he bites the dust.  There are
        some hearts hidden inside the pots in the adjacent jail cell should you
        sustain any damage and, incidentally, you can also toss those pots at
        the Ball and Chain Trooper if you'd rather attack from a distance.
    
    When he dies, he'll leave behind the Big Key, which unlocks Zelda's cell.  Open
    the cell, as well as the chest inside (+5 Rupees, holla!).  Chat with Zelda to
    learn a bit about the evil wizard who has taken over the castle.  Select "Yes"
    when she asks if you understand, otherwise you'll have to listen to her spiel
    again.  According to Zelda, there's a secret path somewhere in the castle that
    we can use to escape.  Thankfully, she was pretty specific with her information
    (or not).  Anyway, we should start by backtracking to the foyer (y'know, that
    main hall with the staircase and all?  Where we first entered the castle?  Yep,
    that's it).
    
    As you regain control, note that Zelda will now follow closely behind you.
    Don't worry, she can't be hurt (but you still can, what a cheap deal).  The
    rooms we cleared out on the way down here have been re-occupied by enemy
    soldiers (annoying), regrettably, but don't fret -- they're no more difficult
    than before.
    
     == BREAKING OUT ================================
    
    Once you've arrived at the foyer, Zelda will explain that the secret passage is
    located in the throne room.  Avoiding or killing the enemy sentries as you
    please, go upstairs and take the northernmost and centermost doorway.  This
    leads right into the throne room.  Smash the two guards in here or sprint
    upstairs before they notice you, then proceed forward to the thrones.  The
    secret passage is, as Zelda will inform you, hidden behind the ornamental
    shelf, so position yourself on the shelf's left side and push it to the right.
    Voila -- the secret passageway!
    
    It's pretty dark inside, but Link apparently (unfathomably) has a flashlight
    stashed away in his pockets.  Ignore the rats unless they get too close to you
    and scour the eastern wall for a passage.  Follow it to find a staircase, which
    you should descend.  The subsequent corridor is filled with snakes -- I would
    suggest proceeding with your sword at the ready (the whirling blade attack
    works wonders here).  Use the staircase on the far side of the room to
    progress.  You'll again be assaulted by snakes (as well as bats) in the next
    chamber.  Defeat them all, then check the eastern side of the room for a
    treasure chest.  Inside it is the key that will allow us to exit this room.
    
    Okay, we've now found our way into the sewers.  You know what that means (hint:
    it has *nothing* to do with poo, you sick sick sicko).  It means we're almost
    to safety!  Light the torch to the right with your Lamp if you're having
    trouble seeing, then trek westward.  Note that if you remain in the water, the
    enemies will be unable to attack you.  Can't swim, I guess.  Anyhoo, this
    room's exit is on the west wall.  In the subsequent chamber, you'll again want
    to stick to the water as you check the northern wall for an exit.  The
    following room is filled with annoying rats and bats.  This time, you have to
    kill them all, as one of them is carrying that a key that you'll need to move
    on.
    
    Ahhh!  Too bright!  My eyes!  Thankfully we're back to properly-lit rooms now.
    Cut the baddies and head north toward a series of blocks which are, as their
    name suggests, blocking the path ahead.  They are set up as follows:
    
           [2][3]
        [1]   [4]
    
    In order to allow yourself passage, simply slide block number two forward.
    Easy!
    
      * NOTE:  Did you notice the giant cracks on the western wall of that last
        room?  If only we had some Bombs we'd have been able to blow those cracks
        open and score whatever goodies lay inside.  Make a mental note (or
        remember this one) to return once you get ahold of the explosive goodness
        otherwise known as Bombs.
    
    As the next room is chock full of rats, go ahead and defeat them all (they seem
    to like to drop Rupees).  Proceed.  The room after that contains a couple of
    rats (kill them) and a couple of levers.  Zelda, helpful young lady that she
    is, says to pull "that one."  Uh, thanks for being so descriptive.  Pull the
    right switch the open the door to the Sanctuary (hold R and push down on the
    D-Pad to grab the lever), or tug on the left one to invite some enemies to the
    party.  It's your call, but the former seems like the better option.  Head
    through the door to reach the sanctuary of the Sanctuary (see what I did
    there?).
    
    The sage here talks about... something, then thankfully he shuts up.  Raid the
    chest for a full heart powerup (oh yes!), then exit through the door at the
    south of the Sanctuary.  Our objective now is to seek the elder at Kakariko
    Village, but a good portion of Hyrule is now open to exploration, which means
    there's stuff aplenty to find and do.  If you want a piece of that action right
    now, go ahead and skip the section directly below ("A Visit to Kakariko
    Village") and proceed to the one called "Lost Woods, the Ice Rod, and Other
    Fun" further down.  Otherwise, continue reading the guide as normal.
    
     == A VISIT TO KAKARIKO VILLAGE =================
    
    From the entrance to the Sanctuary, walk south past the rows of bushes toward
    a green knight (defeat him).  Then trek westward for two screens -- along the
    way you'll run across a couple of signs pointing toward Kakariko.  Head south
    at the second sign to enter the village.  Now, there's a number of things to do
    while we're here, but since our most important task is to meet with the village
    elder, we'll get that over with first.
    
    As you walk south from the village entrance, the first house you'll see is the
    elder's.  Pop inside and speak to the woman to learn that... *gasp*... the
    village elder has gone missing.  That's a bit annoying.  Luckily, someone in
    the village *does* know where the elder is hanging out, so let's go find that
    person.  Check the lower-left side of the village and you should see a pair of
    chickens flapping around inside a fenced area.  Go in and speak to the boy
    standing adjacent to the water trough -- he's kind enough to mark the elder's
    location on our map.  Thanks dude!  It seems the elder is chilling somewhere to
    the far east -- we'll find him soon enough, but first there's plenty of stuff
    to do here in Kakariko yet.
    
    Start by entering the pub, which is due east from that kid who showed us the
    elder's location.  There's not a whole lot to do if you enter via the front
    door, but if you use the "hidden" entrance in the back (just enter from the
    north -- you can't see a door, but there is one, trust me) you'll be able to
    open a treasure chest which holds your first Magic Bottle.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Magic Bottle.  The first in a set of four, the Magic Bottles are
        absolute godsends.  Finding and using these Bottles will make your life
        exponentially easier.  Fill it up with healing potions, or once you get the
        Net, you can catch Fairies or bees to keep in it.  Very cool.
    
    As if that wasn't awesome enough, there's a second Magic Bottle available for
    purchase if you speak to the vendor sitting on the carpet in the northwest
    quadrant of the village.  If you've mustered 100 Rupees, go ahead and buy it.
    If not, head up the nearby stairs and enter the green-roofed building next to
    the elder's house.  Speak with the man inside, then check out the basement --
    there are four chests down here, each one containing a precious red Rupee!
    Nice!  The position of the blocks will reset if you go upstairs, so just fiddle
    with them until you've opened all four chests.  Now, you may also notice that
    the north wall of this chamber is cracked.  We can blow it up, but we'll need
    to find some Bombs first.
    
    The shop near the kid who told us the elder's location has 10 Bombs for sale at
    the low, low (*cough* exorbitantly high *cough*) price of 50 Rupees.  If
    purchasing that Magic Bottle emptied your wallet, you'll have to cut through
    some bushes or return to the overworld and kill some baddies to scrounge up the
    necessary cash.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Bombs.  Mindlessly blowing stuff up is the pinnacle of video
        gaming fun, and that's precisely the kind of fun afforded by the Bombs.
        Set one down next to a cracked wall, step back, and watch with glee as the
        explosion creates a Link-sized hole in the wall.  For now, your capacity is
        a paltry 10 Bombs, but there will be opportunities later on to increase
        that number.
    
      * NOTE ABOUT CRACKED WALLS:  There are two kinds of cracked walls in Zelda:
        real ones and fakes ones.  Fortunately, there is a way to differentiate
        between the two without wasting Bombs.  Press B to raise Link's sword, then
        walk into a cracked wall -- this will prompt Link to tap his sword against
        the wall, making a sound.  If it makes a nice, clinky "tink tink" kind of
        sound, then the wall can be blown open.  If the sound is kind of dull --
        more of a "tok tok" sound -- then the wall can't be blown open.  Long story
        short:  "tink tink" good, "tok tok" bad.  "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha - very very
        bad.
    
    So.  With your newly-purchased Bombs in tow, return to the cracked wall in the
    building with the green roof and set a Bomb against it.  KA-BOOM!  We're in!
    Not only are there blue Rupees beneath all six jars in here (score!), but there
    is also a treasure chest containing our very first Piece of Heart.  We'll be
    collecting more of these very soon, so I hope the excitement doesn't overtake
    you.
    
    Before anything else, though, let's go grab the Bug-Catching Net.  To do this,
    stop inside the house just north of the pub.  The boy inside is very sick.
    Talk to him and he'll tell you some sob story about his ailment -- boo hoo,
    blah blah blah, no one cares, kid -- then he'll cough over his oh-so precious
    Bug-Catching Net.  Thank you, sir!
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Bug-Catching Net.  It isn't the manliest weapon (in fact, it
        isn't really a weapon at all), but it has its uses.  Namely, you can use
        the Bug-Catching Net to catch Fairies and bees, which can then be stashed
        in Bottles until you want to use them.  If you have a Bottled Fairy and you
        die, never fear -- the Fairy will automatically revive Link.  As for bees,
        trying catching one, then release it near an enemy.  Fun!
    
    Now, how's about we find some more Pieces of Heart?  There are two more in
    Kakariko Village.  For the first, head to the northwest corner of the village.
    Notice the black pit?  It may look dangerous, but it really isn't (trust me).
    Position yourself on the precipice above it, then hop off the ledge into the
    pit.  Raid the chest to score some Bombs, then check the northeast ledge for
    some Rupees.  But don't hop off the ledge yet!  First, we'll need to blow open
    the cracked wall.  Use those Bombs you just found to do it.  Inside is...
    another Piece of Heart!  Leap off the ledge in the previous room and exit via
    the stairs to the southeast.
    
    The second Piece of Heart is in the southern part of the village.  Exit the
    main village at the southeast corner.  there's a long house to the southwest of
    where you are now standing.  Head for it.  The man inside is quarreling with
    his brother, so we've really only got one option -- to blow open their wall
    (makes perfect sense, right?).  Bomb the cracked wall and say "Whatup" to the
    other brother, then step outside.  After all, who are we to interfere in their
    feud?
    
    The girl outside is willing to give us "something good" if we can reach the
    "goal" (i.e. the end of the fence maze) in 15 seconds.  For that kind of prize,
    anything is possible, right?  Slash your way through the bushes and make your
    way west.  If you manage to do it quick enough, you'll win the Piece of Heart.
    If not, go back and try again -- there's no participation cost, so you can keep
    retrying until you win.
    
    Finally, there are a few other tidbits to check out in the village, but none of
    it is particularly practical.  If you're up for it, however, here's a quick
    rundown of the remaining points of interest in Kakariko.
    
      - You may have already noticed a weird person of indeterminable gender in a
        red coat.  Whenever you approach this person, s/he runs away.  At the
        moment, it's impossible to catch him/her/it, but soon enough we'll be able
        to (and the mysterious gender question will finally be answered!  Except it
        won't be).  Make a mental note of it.
    
      - Certain women around town have the strange idea that Link is a dangerous
        criminal implanted in their minds for some reason.  Maybe it's something to
        do with all those signs stating that Link is a dangerous criminal.  If you
        talk to such a lady, she'll summon soldiers to come kill you.  There's no
        prize for fighting off the summoned soldiers, but it's kind of fun
        nonetheless.
    
      - This is one of the greatest moments in any Zelda game.  Ever.  Head to the
        area where the chickens are fenced in and go crazy on them with your sword.
        After they've taken enough abuse, chickens will begin swarming the screen,
        exacting their revenge upon Link for his heartlessness.  Duck inside and
        they'll settle down.  Yeah, you lost some hearts, but admit it -- that was
        a blasty blast and totally worth it.
    
      - In the lower left-hand corner of Kakariko, there is a small shack with no
        discernible entrance.  Set a Bomb against the southern wall and watch it
        blow open.  Inside you'll find a few rats (gah!), some Bombs, and a couple
        Rupees.
    
      - In the area south of the village, there is a chest-opening mini-game.  It
        costs 20 Rupees to play, and decent prizes are few and far between, so it
        isn't the best investment you could make.  Still, it's a great way to get
        addicted to gambling, so there's that.
    
      - One screen north of Kakariko is a fortune-teller.  Like the chest-opening
        game, it'll run you 20 Rupees and the teller's divination skills are
        slightly less than good (let's just say her predictions are more vapid than
        the voiceovers on Grey's Anatomy -- oh snap!).  Still, you might want to
        check it out just for kicks.
    
    So that's about that.  If you're ready to proceed with the game proper, skip
    the next section proceed to the next chapter ("Knights").  But if you haven't
    had enough exploring and discovering, there's plenty more goodies to collect
    and powering up to do, so, by all means, read on.
    
     == LOST WOODS, THE ICE ROD, AND OTHER FUN ======
    
    Due north of Kakariko Village is a forest known as the Lost Woods.  In visiting
    this forest there are two main objectives (for now):  first, to find another
    Piece of Heart (which will make four and grant Link another full heart
    container) and second, to discover the Magic Mushroom (no, it doesn't do what
    you think it does).  Assuming that you entered from the south (Kakariko
    Village entrance), follow the path northward -- defeat the bird that dives at
    you -- and you'll find a small hut and nine bushes.  Ignore the hut and cut
    through the bushes to reveal a pit.  Fall in, please, and you'll land right
    next to the Piece of Heart.  That was easy.
    
    Exit this cavern and you'll emerge at the mouth of the hut.  Convenient!  Head
    north and enter the log tunnel on the left.  On the other side, you'll notice a
    mushroom to the west.  Slash through the bushes and snag it.  That's it for the
    Lost Woods.  There's nothing else that we can do as of now, so find an exit and
    make for Link's house.  Our new itinerary is Lake Hylia.
    
    From Link's house, trek one screen southward to enter into a large grassland.
    Hug the eastern wall and you'll find a Bombable area.  Blow it open to find a
    Fairy Fountain -- the Fairy here will heal all your wounds.  Good deal.  Head
    south one screen further, then west once and you'll run across a small building
    nestled between two pools of water.  Go in.  Three blocks preclude the path
    onward -- path the two on the side up and the central one left to clear a path
    to the chest, which contains some Bombs.  Step outside to reset the blocks,
    then re-enter and push the middle block forward and one of the outer ones
    aside.  Enter the room ahead.
    
    In here, watch out for the spinning flame and pull the switch on the right to
    open the floodgate.  Ignore the left switch (pulling it means explosives will
    rain from the sky -- no joke) and leave.  Back outside, the pools have now been
    drained, leaving a fish and a Piece of Heart.  Laugh at the former, grab the
    latter, and head east.  Continue eastward when you arrive at the beach (there's
    a Bombable wall to the north, but we can't do anything inside just yet).  Stay
    on the path as it curves northward and you'll soon reach a grassy area
    inhabited by crabs.  Kill them, then detonate the Bombable wall to the left of
    the doorway.  Proceed northward and you'll come across a treasure chest.
    Check it out to find... the Ice Rod!  Cool! (get it?)
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Ice Rod.  Much like the Lamp, this piece of weaponry requires
        magic power to use.  It can be used to attack and freeze enemies from a
        distance with icy magic.  I won't lie -- you probably won't use this very
        often (I don't), but it's always nice to have options.  We'll find its
        complement, the aptly named Fire Rod, much later on.
    
    Return outside and enter the nearby doorway.  Blow open the wall inside to find
    another Fairy Fountain.  For this one, get your Bug-Catching Net ready and
    stash some Fairies in those Magic Bottles you got back in Kakariko.  Once
    you're done, regress to the grassy area south of Link's house.  This time, we
    shall be travelling west toward the Desert of Mystery (it really isn't very
    mysterious, but whatevs).  Continue west into the desert itself (vultures and
    all), then press northward.  You should find an entrance to the caves here --
    go inside to meet some dude named Aginah (weird name), but he's not why we're
    here.  Bomb the wall south of him to find another Piece of Heart.
    
    Our final excursion before heading to the game's first dungeon will be to the
    Witch's Magic Shop.  From Link's house, head one screen east.  You'll stumble
    across a (heavily-guarded) bridge -- take it north across the river.  Go
    northeast through the brownish stone area and continue going north past a pair
    of archers and some bushes.  Move east when you reach the trees and you'll find
    the Magic Shop.  Equip the Mushroom we found in the Lost Woods and speak to the
    Witch outside.  She'll take it for now -- we'll be back later (after completing
    the East Palace) to pick it up.  Talk to the Witch inside the shop to refill
    your hearts.  You might also want to purchase some Red Potion, which restores
    your health, as the dungeon ahead can prove tricky at times.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       b.  KNIGHTS                                                 [East Palace]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Shall we finally head for the game's first real dungeon?  It's time for us to
    head eastward to conquer the East Palace, where we'll gain the first of three
    Pendants.  Get yourself to Link's house and we'll move on from there.
    
     == EN ROUTE TO THE EAST PALACE =================
    
    From Link's house, head east to the stone bridge, which you should take north.
    After crossing the bridge, go east one screen, then north when you reach a line
    of trees.  Run underneath the arches and up the stairs.  Try to avoid the
    rock-spitting baddies (it can be hard to do so, I know) as you head northeast.
    By now, you should see a building directly in front of you.  Drop off the ledge
    and duck inside.  The man in here is Sahasrahla (say that five times fast --
    Sahasrahla, Sahsrala, Sauceral... nope, can't do it), the village elder.
    
    Sahasrahla tells us that we need to retrieve three Pendants in order to acquire
    the Master Sword.  The first of these Pendants is the Pendant of Courage,
    which is conveniently hidden next door in the East Palace.  When he's done
    talking, blow open the back wall to score some Bombs and 100 Rupees.  Now leave
    the building and use the stair behind, minding the bouncy statue enemy as you
    go.  Take a right at the top of the steps, then turn south as soon as possible
    (defeat the statue in the way).  Continue south until you meet another statue
    -- kill it, then head east.
    
    You'll come across another statue guarding some stairs.  Either kill it or just
    jump off the adjacent ledge.  Either way, climb up the next staircase, then go
    east and up a second staircase.  Cut up the blue knight standing guard at the
    top, go up some more stairs and bam!  Here we are -- the East Palace!  Breathe
    in, breathe out, let's go!
    
     == THE EAST PALACE =============================
    
    Let's do this.
    
    Welcome to the game's first dungeon -- don't get scared now.  We start off in a
    room with three doors, all locked.  Lift the pot due north from the entrance to
    unearth a switch -- stomp on it to open all three doors.  They two outer doors
    both lead to dead ends, so ignore them and go through the center doorway
    instead.  Slice through the Gummi Worm enemies, then step on the weird-looking
    portion of the floor.  This is, surprisingly enough, a switch, and stepping on
    it will, indeed, open the door leading onward.
    
    The subsequent room is absolutely huge, but luckily its fairly straightforward.
    There's only one path onward, but balls of varying sizes are being continuously
    fired in your direction (yeah, you read that right).  The small balls are easy
    to dodge (as is the case in real life), but every so often a giant ball comes
    along that you just can't stay away from (again, the same holds true in real
    life).  So, what to do?  Wait until a large ball flies past, then dash forward,
    eluding the little ones.  Duck into one of the niches along the wall and wait
    for another big one to go past, then sprint to the end and duck out of harm's
    way.  (And yes, I'm well aware that I have now filled my innuendo quota for
    this chapter).
    
    Forget about the stairs for now and trot westward along the corridor.  Ascend
    the staircase here and you'll find some pots and a treasure chest, all
    containing precious Rupees.  Now you can return to the stairs at the end of the
    hallway and proceed through the door at the top.  The hall splits in two
    directions here; let's start by taking the right oath.  The door here is locked
    initially, but there's another floor switch behind the jars.  Proceed.
    
    Baddies of both the Gummi Worm and skeleton types reside within the next room.
    Dispose of them (and note that your Boomerang actually damages the skellies!).
    There are two additional doors in here -- take the northern one.  Avoid the
    spinning flame baddie and lift up the centermost pot to find a switch.  Hitting
    this switch will open the door at the bottom of your screen.  Go through it to
    find a chest, inside of which is the always-helpful Map.  Now hop off the
    ledge, head upstairs, and exit to the left.
    
    You'll emerge in the chamber where we previously defeated skeletons and Gummi
    Worms.  Take the western door and follow the hall around to the west.  Just
    like you did before, lift the pots and stomp the floor switch to open the door.
    More skeletons inside.  Kill them all, then head for the door in the lower
    left-hand corner.  As you enter the next room, both doors slam shut and
    skeletons appear all over the place.  Use your sword or chuck pots at their
    undead butts.  The doors will slide open once they've all been defeated.
    
    In the following chamber, you'll find the Compass.  Head downstairs once you've
    grabbed it and go through the door.  Inspect the weird tablet on the wall to
    speak to your old friend Sahasrahla.  His advice is crap, but hey, at least
    he's trying, right?  Right!  The hallway south is a deadend, so take the
    eastern doorway.  We'll be spit out on the floor below the crossroads.  A huge
    chest containing the, er... "item" hidden in this palace is right in front of
    our eyes!  But... we can't open it yet.  Crap.  So avoid the one-eyed cyclops
    type dudes and go due east through a door.
    
    Here's another room we've been in before.  Head south, up the stairs, and into
    the darkness.  Thankfully, Link whips out that trusty flashlight of his again,
    so there's no need to equip the Lamp.  Immediately hurry to the right, because
    two spinning flames are out to get you.  Quickly cut through the Gummi Worms
    and hit the floor switch, then duck into the door on the east wall.  Though you
    may not see them at first, skeletons litter this next room.  Be mindful of them
    and their evil skeleton ways as you search underneath the pots for a key, then
    regress to the previous room.  Continue around the circular path, using your
    key to open the western door.  Cross the balcony and head west.
    
    Hmm... that center pedestal looks unique, doesn't it?  And *what* is the deal
    with that door on the north wall?  Slaying the Gummi Worms, skeletons, and
    cyclops dudes in this room will release the spinning flame baddies in the
    center of the room, but sadly, that's our only option.  Once you've finished
    off all the nasties, grab the pot that the flames were previously fixed upon
    and hit the switch underneath, revealing a treasure chest on the center
    pedestal.  Inside is the Big Key, which can open the north door as well as the
    big treasure chest we passed earlier.  Yes indeed!
    
    Exit north and push the rightmost block out of the way.  Take a right at the
    end of the corridor (this place looks familiar).  Okay, we're back in the main
    hall.  Pop open the big, shiny chest to obtain... the Bow and Arrow!
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Bow and Arrow.  Along with the Boomerang, this is one of the
        most useful and practical items at this early stage of the game.  It's a
        great way to attack enemies from a distance.  In this particular dungeon,
        it works wonders against the cyclops foes (and it will work great against
        the boss, as well).  Your arrow capacity is 30 for now, but you'll have the
        chance later on to increase that number.
    
    But just when you think everything is great, four skeletons drop down and throw
    their heads after Link, forcing us to flee in terror from their disembodied
    faces of fear.  Take the stairs at the north of the room and go through the
    door.
    
      * NOTE:  Notice those weird basin-looking things on either side of the
        staircase?  Hop into one to find some Fairies -- if your Magic Bottles
        aren't already filled with Red Potion from the Witch's shop, I *highly*
        suggest catching some of these little ladies with your Net.  Link doesn't
        have too many hearts at this point in the game, and some extra health can
        never hurt, right?  Right.
    
    The other side of the doorway finds us submerged in darkness.  Don't bother
    lighting the torches on either side of the door -- just slash through the Gummi
    Worms ahead and use your pretty new Bow to take down the cyclopses.  One of
    them is carrying a key, so be sure to pick it up.  Take the northeast exit to
    find a supersecret cache of Rupees (just watch out for the flames!), then go
    back and unlock the door on the northwest wall.
    
    In the subsequent room, peek under the jars for some arrows, hearts and -- most
    importantly -- a switch.  The room after this one is guarded by three cyclops
    baddies.  It's best to take them on one at a time, so try your best not to wake
    them all at once (doing so leads to utter chaos -- for real).  Once you've
    defeated them all, hit the lowermost switch (the other three are fakes) and
    proceed.  The next room is a madhouse -- you'll have to dodge balls from every
    direction as you try to find the right switch (it's the one on the top left).
    The room after that is protected by two skeletons and a red cyclops, who is
    even tougher than the green variety (and must be killed with arrows).  Kill all
    the foes, then check the pots to find a heart and some arrows.
    
    The final room before the boss is crawling with Gummi Worms (see what I did
    there?), and the doorway to doom is guarded by two red cyclopses.  Deal with
    the Gummis first, then wake the cyclopses (one at a time, if possible) and hit
    them with a storm of arrows.  Lift the jars for some last minute heart and
    arrow refills.  Take a deep breath, build up your courage, and go in.
    
                              - Boss:  BOUNCY KNIGHTS -
        Numbering six in all, the Bouncy Knights take up a fair amount of the
        room, which doesn't leave us with much space in which to maneuver.  As
        soon as they begin to move, single out one of the six knights and
        continually nail him with arrows.  Three of 'em should do the trick.
        Once one knight has been neutralized, the battle becomes a bit easier.
        In particular, the knights' charge attack (in which they line up across
        the north wall and bounce toward you) becomes very easy to dodge.  Keep
        pounding the knights with arrows (or sword strikes, should you run out
        of the arrows) until only one remains.
    
        At this point, the surviving knight will change up his strategy.  He'll
        turn red (with fury, perhaps) and repeatedly leap around the room in an
        attempt to squash you.  As long as you stay on the move, he won't be
        able to touch you (so, like, keep moving and stuff).  Your best method
        of mayhem at this point is to abandon the Bow and rely on your trusty
        sword -- unleash a spin attack whenever the knight hovers over you.
        Not only will this damage the knight, but it will also interrupt his
        own attack, causing him to miss when he tries to sit on you.  Keep up
        the attack and this battle won't last much longer.
    
    Upon the knights' demise, a full Heart Container will appear, followed by the
    Pendant of Courage.  Fantastic.
    
     == PEGASUS SHOES AND ANOTHER HEART PIECE =======
    
    I know that you just want to get a move on, but before moving forward to the
    next palace in search of the next Pendant, there are a number of loose ends to
    tie up (as well as some new loose ends to create).  Ch-check it out:
    
      - First and foremost, let's go revisit our friend Sahasrahla (he's still in
        the building near the East Palace).  He'll ramble on about some legend (who
        cares, dude!), then fork over the Pegasus Shoes (oh yes!), which allow Link
        to dash around like he's on speed.  Also, it sounds like someone's shaking
        salt or something when you use the, so there's another plus.  He also
        mentions that there's a useful item in the caves near Lake Hylia, but if
        you've been following this walkthrough you'll already have that (and if
        not, go read the "Lost Woods, the Ice Rod, and Other Fun" section in the
        previous chapter for the scoop).
    
      - Next, we can go back to the Witch's Magic Shop north of here to see what's
        cookin' with that Mushroom we gave her.  Step inside the shop and you'll
        receive the Magic Powder (which isn't the most effective weapon but is
        still all kinds of fun to mess around with.
    
      - As you may or may not remember, there was a Bombable wall near Lake Hylia,
        on the way to where we picked up the Ice Rod.  Remember?  It was just east
        of the grassy area south of Link's house?  Yeah, that's it.  Before, we
        couldn't do anything inside because we had no means with which to defeat
        the squirmy worms within, but now we can use our Bow and Arrow to do the
        job.  Once all the worms have been dealt with, the door will open.  Talk to
        the shady-looking individual inside to receive the hefty sum of 300 Rupees
        (!!), then investigate the chests for Bombs, arrows, and even more Rupees.
        Good deal.
    
      - With those brand spankin' new Pegasus Shoes firmly lodged upon Link's tiny
        pixelated feet, another Piece of Heart is now up for grabs.  Let's start by
        heading for the Sanctuary, shall we?  From there, head west on screen, then
        curve northward and turn back eastward.  On the same screen as the
        Sanctuary (but on the ledge to the left of it), dash into the pile of white
        stones.  Doing so will reveal a secret entrance.  Venture inside and claim
        your prize.
    
      - Now for some unfinished business in Kakariko Village.  In the middle of
        town, there is -- as you might recall -- a weird person dressed in red.
        The jury's still out on whether it's a guy or a girl.  In any event, this
        person flees whenever you get near it ("it" -- yes, I went there).  But!
        With the blazing speed allowed by our new Pegasus Shoes, we can catch up to
        it (make sure you chase it eastward, because if you try going west you'll
        run out of space).  Anyway, when you finally catch it, it'll tell you to
        try running into trees.  Of course, we already knew that we could do that,
        so it turns out that this whole note was actually, in fact, pretty frickin'
        useless.  Uhh... sorry?
    
    That's about that in regards to extra stuff to do at this point, so let's get
    back to the main quest!
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       c.  THE EARTH WILL SHAKE                                  [Desert Palace]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    We're now headed toward the Desert of Mystery to retrieve the next Pendant, but
    first we'll have to make a detour to Kakariko Village to recruit the help of an
    ancient text.  Let's move.
    
     == THE BOOK OF MUDORA ==========================
    
    Okay, now before we can move onward to the second palace, it's imperative that
    we make a quick pitstop in Kakariko Village (or rather, *just* south of
    Kakariko Village).  If you leave the village from it's southern exit, there
    will be one building immediately in sight -- the library (it's just a bit to
    the west).  Step inside and you should see a weird green book sitting
    conspicuously atop a shelf.  Ram into the shelf using the Pegasus Shoes and ka-
    pow!  The Book of Mudora is yours for the taking!
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Book of Mudora.  I know what you're thinking:  what the crap am
        I supposed to do with a book?  I don't do none of that book-readin' stuff!
        Well, it's not particularly effective against baddies (in fact, it's not
        effective at all), but it is necessary to translate ancient writing.  And
        to enter the Desert Palace, you'll have to do just that.
    
    That done, we're off to the Desert Palace, which is located in -- surprise,
    surprise -- the Desert of Mystery!  Starting at Link's house, you'll want to
    take an immediate south.  The entrance to the desert is located on the west
    side of this big, grassy area, but you'll want to go south another screen
    before turning westward.  You'll know that you're in the right place once you
    see a weird frog-lookin' dude sitting next to a sign.  Ignore him (or feel free
    to destroy his stupid sign) and proceed further west.
    
    Just ahead is the desert proper.  On a disappointing note, you'll find that it
    isn't nearly as mysterious as its name suggests.  If a game promises mystery,
    I want mystery -- what a cocktease.  ANYWAY.  Move on in a northwesterly
    manner, keeping an eye out for cactuses, sandmen, and vultures.  When you find
    the gray pedestal in the middle of the desert, you'll know you're in the right
    place -- you've arrived at the Desert Palace.  Pull out the Book of Mudora and
    inspect the tablet in the center of the platform.  Link is prompted to make a
    wish, but instead of wishing for something totally awesome like Cristiano
    Ronaldo sustaining a horrible leg injury or a date with Evangeline Lilly, he
    just wishes for the stone ornaments to stop blocking the entrance.  Moron.
    
     == THE DESERT PALACE ===========================
    
    Almost immediately upon entering the palace, you'll be set upon by weird
    spinning plant things.  Cut a path forward and head north.  Pretty soon, you'll
    probably notice what looks like an odd octopus/turtle hybrid with one rotating
    eyeball.  When its eye spots you, it'll shoot a nasty laser beam, so be
    careful around these things (just move quickly and you'll do fine).  Anyway,
    take a left at the statue, move the pots out of the way, and proceed north
    through the corridor.  On the following screen, a monster will poke itself out
    of the sand.  Slash it a few times or hit it with an arrow.
    
    Take a left at the crossroads and move onto the next screen.  Enter the door on
    the north wall, mind the octopus/turtle/eye/laser statue (hereinafter referred
    to simply as a "laser statue"), and dash into the upper left-hand torch to grab
    the key.  There's also a tablet through which you can speak to Sahasrahla, but
    as always his advice sucks a big one.  Return to the previous room, head east
    one screen, then duck into the northern doorway.
    
    This room is bustling with enemy activity.  Defeat the sand things and the
    green cyclopses, then search beneath the pots for a switch.  Hit this switch to
    reveal a treasure chest, inside of which you'll find the coveted Map.  Exit via
    the southeast door and keeping trekking eastward.  The door in the northeastern
    corner is a trap and contains nothing useful, so ignore it and head south.
    There will be a locked door set against the right wall, but thankfully we've
    already got the key.  Go in.  Kill the Gummi Worms, be wary of the laser
    statue, check the chest to score the Compass, and finally exit north.
    
    The next chamber is loaded with walls that poop cannonballs at you -- the best
    technique to get through here unscathed is to simply Pegasus Shoes your way
    through the gauntlet.  The chest on the far side of the room contains the ever-
    so-exciting Big Key.  Return to the dungeon's main room (that big room we
    entered through).  Once there, make your way to the upper left-hand corner,
    where you'll want to take the door against the western wall.  As you enter, you
    will find that you're locked in with a dreaded laser statue.  Avoiding its gaze
    as best as you can, check beneath the pots for goodies and the switch that will
    unlock the room.  Go north through the door to find the big chest (!).  Pop it
    open to find the oh-so-macho Power Glove.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Power Glove.  With this stylish little glove in hand, Link can
        now lift those white stones that you've seen littered across Hyrule.  You
        don't even have to equip it -- it works automatically!  Sadly, the black
        stones that you might have spotted are still too heavy to lift.  I'm not in
        a particularly creative mood at the moment, but you can bet that if I was I
        would be making some hilarious comment about HORSE the Band right about now
        (+10 golden cookies to you if you have any idea what I'm talking about).
    
    Regress two rooms, then head south.  There is a door on the western wall and,
    since we've explored everywhere else, this is probably the right place to be.
    Again, watch the laser statue and push the third block from the left to open
    the north door.  This leads into a Fairy Fountain.  Yay.  Fill up your Bottles
    if they're empty, as we're nearing boss time.  Exit to the south and you'll
    turn up outside, but that's a good thing.
    
    Starting by venturing southward to score another Piece of Heart.  Once that's
    done with, look to the north of where we just exited.  There's a doorway
    blocked by white stones.  But wait!  Thanks to our Power Glove, we can lift
    those up without trouble.  Go inside, dodge blasts from yet another laser
    statue (fed up with those things yet?), and push the second block from the
    right to open the door.  Head through.  The next room is full of something we
    haven't encountered before:  super-annoying monster floor tiles.  Scary, right?
    They fly at you without remorse, so trot around the room and slash at them to
    escape damage.  There's a key hidden in the bottom left-hand jar, which will
    open the path ahead.
    
    Cross the bridge.  The subsequent room is filled with two of our favorites --
    Gummi Worms and a laser statue.  Kill all the worms to open the door.  If you
    thought that room was bad, though, get a load of this next one:  multiple laser
    statues, a locked door, and still more Gummi Worms!  Uhh... Sweet.  Sneak past
    the statues and peek in the jars for a key, then move along.  The following
    chamber resurrects the idea of monster floor tiles, so hastily retrieve the key
    from beneath the upper right-hand pot.
    
    In the final room before the boss, there's a red cyclops for you to defeat
    (bust out that handy dandy Bow and Arrow to do it).  Search the pots for some
    hearts, arrows, and magic power, then... Wait a sec, this is a dead end!  Or
    that's what it looks like anyway.  Use your Lamp to light the four torches in
    this room and voila!  There's the door.  Hey-ho, let's go!
    
                            - Boss:  REALLY-BIG WORMS x3 -
        As was the case with the boss of the East Palace, the boss here is an
        ensemble foe.  The modus operandi of these three nasty worms is to jump
        in and out of the sand, which makes it confusing to know where and when
        you're going to be attacked.  To make matter worse, they spit up rocks
        when they emerge from the sand.  The sword is really the only weapon of
        any use in this battle, but be sure to target only the heads of the
        worms.  Some people like to try planting Bombs where they think the
        worms are going to come out, but I find that to be a sorrowfully
        inaccurate strategy.  Once you've finished off two worms, the remaining
        one will up his game a bit (more rocks).  Keep up the same strategy and
        *be patient*!  Patience is the key to this battle.  It's better to
        avoid taking damage from the rocks and have to wait for another chance
        to attack than to end up dead because you couldn't wait for an opening.
    
    Once you've defeated the scourge, a full Heart Container and the Pendant of
    Power will rain from the ceiling.  Yum!
    
     == THE FLIPPERS + OTHER SIDE-QUESTY STUFF ======
    
    As usual, I'm gonna take this time to go off on a bit of a tangent and fill you
    in on all the latest side-quests.  If you want to move ahead in the game, skip
    on down to the next chapter ("Such Great Heights").  That said, let's get on
    with it!  First off, we're going to trek into the wetlands of northeastern
    Hyrule to purchase the Flippers.  They're pretty expensive at 500 Rupees a
    pair, so make sure you've got the necessary cash before making the excursion.
    
    To reach the wetlands, start off from the Witch's Magic Shop (north of the East
    Palace, if for some reason you haven't been there yet).  Just right of the shop
    is a large white stone, previously far too heavy for Link to lift.  But with
    the Power Glove in hand, it poses no problem at all.  Move it out of the way
    and follow the path eastward.  Three stacks of white rocks block the path
    ahead, but you can destroy these barriers by ramming into them with the Pegasus
    Shoes.  Curve around the path northward and continue along the road.  When you
    hit water, keep moving north to reach the entrance to the river.
    
    This area is positively swarming with Zoras (nasty fish-men who spit fireballs
    left and right), so navigating it isn't the easiest thing to do.  Also, be sure
    to stick to the light blue shallows -- the dark blue water is too deep for poor
    Link and slipping into it will invite damage.  The path forks pretty soon, so
    take the topmost path and keep on the move to minimize damage taken from Zora
    fireballs.  As you move onward, you'll see a Piece of Heart off to the right --
    don't worry, we'll be grabbing that little beauty on the way out.
    
    The path remains straightforward for a while before breaking into four separate
    paths.  Take the bottom path to meet a giant Zora.  Tell him that you want the
    Flippers, then fork over 500 Rupees and they're all yours.  The Zora also makes
    note that you can use water warps, which are detailed more fully in this
    guide's appendices.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Zora's Flippers.  Are you tired of Link taking damage and
        magically warping back to shore whenever you jump in some water?  Not a
        problem anymore!  With these Flippers, you can dive into whatever watery
        depths you please!  (does this sound like some kind of sales pitch?).  Just
        press A to stroke and B to dive.  Simple!
    
    When the Zora returns to his watery home, swim southward and drop down the
    waterfall.  Hop onto the path and follow the shallow water around toward solid
    ground.  Take a look to the left and you'll find another Piece of Heart.  Yeah!
    With the Flippers, we can acquire a few more goodies yet, so I'm hope you're
    not bored already.  Leave the river area, but don't head back toward the Magic
    Shop just yet.  If you go to where the wetlands begin (just on the other side
    of the river area), there is a waterfall in the northwest corner of the screen.
    Swim into it to discover the fabled Waterfall of Wishing (believe me, just
    because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean it isn't fabled).
    
    Choose to throw in your Boomerang and a Fairy will appear.  Be a man and tell
    her the truth ("Yes") when she asks if you threw it in and she'll repay you for
    your honesty.  Not only will she give you back your Boomerang, but she'll
    improve it just for good measure -- the regular Boomerang becomes the Magical
    Boomerang!  Mm-hmm.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Magical Boomerang.  The improved Boomerang has the same basic
        function as the old one, only it moves faster and farther.  If only it
        sparkled or something -- that would be the *ultimate* in cool.  Oh wait,
        it does sparkle.  Hell yeah.
    
    Leave the waterfall, but go right back in.  Follow the same steps as last time,
    only this time throw in your shield.  When the Fairy returns it to you, it'll
    become the Red Shield.
    
      * NEW ITEM:  Red Shield.  This new shield blocks everything that your old one
        did, as well as fireballs.  It also looks cooler.  You'll have the chance
        to buy it later, but it costs a ton of Rupees, and you just got it for
        free, so this whole sentence is more or less utterly useless crap.
    
    Finally, now, we can head south again.  Go to the bridge between Link's house
    and the East Palace -- y'know, the one that's always guarded by archers and
    other knights?  That's the one.  The plan is to swim underneath it, so once
    you get there head east (kind of toward the East Palace).  If you head
    southeast from the trees on the next screen you'll come across a ladder that
    you can use to get your feet wet.  Swim back north toward the bridge, then
    continue on underneath it.  The man living under here is a hobo (cue Red Hot
    Chili Peppers - "Under the Bridge"), but he's a unique hobo because he's more
    than willing to give something away to you.  And it's not just anything, the
    guy contributes a third Magic Bottle to your cause.  Like, totally awesome and
    stuff.
    
    There's one last piece of business on the agenda before we set out for Death
    Mountain and the third Pendant.  Exactly one screen east of the Sanctuary is a
    graveyard.  In the top-left corner of this cemetery is a grave blocked by two
    white stones.  Lift the stones and push the grave back to reveal a supersecret
    entrance to Hyrule Castle (you should recognize this room).  Bomb or ram the
    cracked portion of the western wall and head inside to pick up some goodies --
    hearts, Bombs, arrows, and 300 Rupees!  To escape this place, you'll have to
    retrace the steps you followed when escaping Hyrule Castle with Zelda at the
    outset of the game.
    
    Now then, how about that third Pendant?
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       d.  SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS                                   [Mountain Tower]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    In order to find the Pendant of Wisdom, we'll have to ascend Death Mountain and
    brave the Mountain Tower.  As always, I'd suggest hitting up the Magic Shop to
    stock up on Red Potions before heading out, as the path ahead isn't very easy
    (it's not very difficult either, but saying that doesn't sound dramatic at all,
    does it?  No, it doesn't).
    
     == SCALING DEATH MOUNTAIN (OOH, SO OMINOUS) ====
    
    The base of Death Mountain is located quite near the Sanctuary, so let's begin
    from there.  Proceed west one screen, then north another screen.  After
    dispatching the annoying bird enemies and the weird jellybean-looking thing
    that electrocutes you, press northward until you see a signpost.  Read it to
    learn that entrance to Death Mountain is prohibited without the King's
    permission. We don't have the King's permission, but we're too cool to follow
    the rules (check out my rhymes), so ignore the sign, lift the giant white stone
    to the right of it, and enter the mountain.
    
    Hmm... It's dark in here.  Drop off the ledge (there's no going back now!) and
    walk forward until you reach a crossroads, at which it's best to take a right.
    This area is full of annoying dead ends, but there's really only one way to
    move onward, so don't worry about getting lost.  Slash past a few bats, then
    head north when given the option.  Shortly thereafter, you'll be able to take
    a path to the right.  There's an old man standing in front of a doorway -- talk
    to him and he'll invite himself to this mountain-climbing party of ours.  Okay.
    
    More dark caves await you through the doorway.  Avoid the dark pit of doom
    directly ahead and move eastward.  Continue travelling east until you reach a
    north-or-south crossroad, at which point the old dude will tell you to turn
    right (which is incredibly helpful when the options are up or down).  Go down,
    fighting off some bats along the way, to reach the exit.
    
    Back outside (and now atop the inappropriately-named Death Mountain -- there's
    nothing particularly deathly about it), watch out for falling rocks (wtf?
    Where are they coming from?) and the fast-moving enemies as you trot eastward.
    The old guy will depart at the mouth of a cave, imparting the Magic Mirror
    before he takes his leave.  Excellent -- an item that is, for now, totally
    useless!  Just what we needed!  Or not.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Magic Mirror.  This item does absolutely nothing for you at the
        moment, but it will come in handy shortly.  When you are in the Dark World,
        looking in this shiny purple mirror will magically transport you back to
        the Light World, leaving a flashy whirlwind of flashiness behind.  Step
        back into this residue to return to the Dark World.  In dungeons, using the
        Mirror will return you to the entrance, which can come in useful should you
        screw up or want to retreat outside.
    
    Follow the old man into the cave and chat with him to restore Link's hearts.
    Ascend the ladder behind him to find a series of caves that ultimately lead
    nowhere.  Awesome?  Not really.  Head outside and move to the right, where you
    will find a ladder that leads higher up the mountain.  Try your best to avoid
    the enemies and the tumbling rocks as you press as far north as possible, then
    move west.  There's a sign and a doorway over here, but it only leads back
    toward Kakariko Village, so climb the (really long) ladder instead.
    
    Like, awesome view, right?  (Not really).  Walk east to find another doorway in
    the rock wall.  Step inside to find a pit which, if you drop in, will bring you
    to a handy Fairy Fountain, from which you can fill up any empty Bottles with
    Fairy friends.  After stocking up, exit to the northwest and follow the cave
    to find the exit.  Drop off the ledge upon which you emerge, then climb back up
    the long ladder to the west.  This time, walk past the doorway to find what,
    at first, appears to be a dead end.  But wait!  What's the weird swirly blue
    tile thing in the middle of all those rocks?  Step onto it to see what it's all
    about.
    
      * DIGRESSION:  GETTING ANOTHER PIECE OF HEART.  Before you step on the blue
        tile, go back toward the cave just to the west.  See the big brownish rock
        in front of it?  If you walk southward from that rock, you'll find that a
        barrier that prevents you from leaping off the ledge.  However, if you
        stand just west of there, you can jump off, landing on a ledge with a
        doorway.  Head into the cave and follow the linear path to score a Piece of
        Heart.
    
    Oh crap.  It's the apocalypse.
    
    As Bunny Link, talk to the deformed people to the left (if you feel like being
    abused, that is).  If you want, you can descend the ladder to the west and do
    some exploring, but there isn't much to see or do.  Instead, position your
    long-eared self in the center of the brown diamond shape on the ground near the
    deformed dude and his ball, then look into the Magic Mirror you got a few
    minutes ago.  Ta-dah!  Not only are we back in the Light World, but there's a
    Piece of Heart right there!  Good deal!
    
    Drop off the ledge to the north.  The Mountain Tower is directly ahead (there's
    more to explore to the west and the east, but not much to find as of right now,
    so just go inside the Tower for the time being).
    
     == THE MOUNTAIN TOWER ==========================
    
    What you'll immediately notice upon entering this dungeon is a shiny blue orb
    sitting right in front of you.  Let's take a moment here to discuss how these
    things work, since you haven't yet encountered them (and they're all over this
    place):  when an orb is blue, smacking it with anything (sword, boomerang,
    whatever) will lower any blue barriers.  Likewise, however, it will raise any
    orange barriers.  Hitting an orange orb, predictably, does the exact opposite.
    In order to make it through this dungeon, you'll have to get used to working
    with these things.
    
    Okay, now let's get to it.
    
    Start off by whacking the blue orb directly in front of you to lower the blue
    barriers.  There's a downward staircase on the left -- go down it.  Defeat the
    skeleton baddies and the squirmy worm, then snag the key before returning
    upstairs.  Hit an orb (or don't) to lower the orange barrier in the center of
    the foyer, then head north, killing the worm and the fire-breathing baddies
    before raiding the treasure chest for the Map.  There's also a Sahasrahla
    tablet, but you already know that he doesn't have anything worthwhile to say.
    There's a locked door in the northwest corner, so pop it open with the key you
    just grabbed and head in.
    
    So.  Flying floor tiles.  Annoying much?  It's kind of impossible to proceed
    until all the tiles have been destroyed (either by smashing against the walls,
    being chopped apart by Link's sword, or -- more commonly -- by ramming into
    Link's pointy-eared head), so hit the orb in the corner to lower the blue
    barrier, then circumambulate the room until the tile mayhem is over.  When the
    door opens, head through and deal with three worms.  Smack the orb to lower the
    orange barriers, allowing passage into the room to the south.  Kill both the
    skeletons in here, then break out that Lamp of yours and light the four torches
    in this room to reveal a treasure chest.  Inside is the Big Key (already?  You
    know it!).  Cool.  Now track back to the foyer.
    
    Back where we started, there's one last doorway to explore.  It's located in
    the southeast of the foyer, so hit orbs as you must to make your way in that
    direction.  Head upstairs.  This next room is crawling with enemies -- weird
    creepy-crawlie types.  These guys can be killed easily enough with Link's
    sword (they take a fair few blows to die, but keep at it), but it's so much
    more fun to knock them into one of the room's various pits.  It may be worth
    noting, by the way, that you can fall into any of the surrounding pits as well
    without sustaining any damage, but as there's no reward for doing so it isn't
    worth your time.  Whack the orb to turn it orange before proceeding into the
    subsequent room.
    
    Another three baddies are waiting for you.  Fantastic.  Step onto the star tile
    directly in front of the doorway and, if your timing is good, the first of the
    three will plummet into the pit.  If not, it's just as easy to slice and dice
    the baddies up before heading through the northern door.  The following room is
    even more of the same:  more enemies, more pits, more star tiles, more orbs/
    barriers -- more fun!  First off, deal with the two enemies near the door.  If,
    for whatever reason, the orange barriers are raised (they shouldn't be, so if
    they are you've screwed up), you'll have to backtrack a couple rooms and smack
    the orb.  Otherwise, proceed east (whacking another few baddies along the way).
    On the far side of this room is a staircase.  Climb it.
    
    Immediately to the left is a worm contained by a series of barriers.  Lift the
    pot and kill it -- there's no practical purpose for doing this, but it's fun,
    right?  Similarly, lift one (or all) of the pots to the south, handle another
    couple of worms, then move west into the center of this room.  There's a
    treasure chest here -- inside is the Compass (bom bom bom bom!)!  Further north
    is the Big Chest, which we'd be able to open if only there was some way across
    that pit.  But there isn't.  Not for now, anyway.  But -- and this is really
    important, so listen up -- in order to reach the Big Chest, it's absolutely
    imperative that you step on the star tile directly to the left of the chest in
    which we found the Compass.  Did you do it?  Did you?  You're now lying, are
    you?  Actually, it was probably already activated, but if you messed around
    with it like an idiot be sure to step on it again.  This will help us to get to
    that Big Chest later on.
    
    Now then, shall we move onward?  This room's exit comes in the form of a
    staircase on the northwest wall.  Watch the fire-breathing nasties as you make
    your way toward it -- they like to regurgitate blobs of fire as you walk past,
    which is both gross and painful.  Anyway, the following room is filled with
    pits that are safe to fall into.  As has been the case throughout this dungeon,
    however, falling into most of them won't lead to anything fruitful.  However,
    stomp on the star tile directly to the south of the entrance (next to the
    rotating column of flames), thus creating a perfectly square-shaped pit to the
    north.  Step into this pit from the top and you'll land directly in front of
    the Big Chest.  Score!
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Moon Pearl.  As far as weaponry and items that make a big impact
        on the way you play this game go, the Moon Pearl is pretty disappointing.
        On the bright side, having this item means that whenever you enter the Dark
        World you get to play as Link instead of a defenseless little Bunny.  So
        it's  not such a bad deal in the end, all things considered. 
    
    After emptying the Big Chest, return upstairs.  This time you're looking for a
    door on the eastern side of the room.  Just south of said door are two rows of
    pots surrounded by an orange barrier (which should already be retracted -- if
    not, backtrack to the last orb to lower it) which all contain heart refills, so
    make sure Link's at full health.  Enter the door -- it's boss time already.
    
                              - Boss:  SUPER BIG WORM -
        This is an interesting boss battle.  The weird and unique thing about
        it is not that the Worm is likely to kill you (because it's not), but
        rather that it will knock you off the platform (no barriers on the
        sides!) into the adjacent pit.  This makes the battle more frustrating
        than anything, because if you fall into the pit you'll have to make
        your way back up to the boss room before the fight can continue.
        There's no sure-fire way to combat this.  Just try to stay in the
        center of the platform -- there's not much more advice I can give than
        that.
    
        In terms of the actual fight, there isn't much to it.  At the tip of
        the Worm's tail is a kind of spinning ball.  This is its weak point.
        Stand in the center of the platform (don't chase the Worm into the
        narrow ledge on the left side of the platform -- doing so is tantamount
        to asking to be pushed off the ledge) and wait for it to come to you.
        Lash out at the tail whenever you get the chance, and after sustaining
        several hits the Worm will speed up (uh-oh!).  Keep up the same
        strategy and, with any luck, you'll come out on top without getting
        knocked off too many times.
    
    Another boss vanquished, another full Heart Container for you (don't jump off
    the ledge now, by the way, as doing so means you get to fight the boss again --
    no, I'm not joking)!  The final Pendant also falls from the rafters, meaning
    that we now have all the necessary ingredients to acquire the Master Sword.
    Awesome.
    
      * NOTE:  Normally after a dungeon, I run through a list of sidequesty stuff
        (extra Rupees, new weapons, etc), but since there's a bunch of stuff that
        only becomes available after you obtain the Master Sword, it just makes
        more sense to wait until you've done that to go through all the
        sidequest-type stuff.  So if you're one of those completionist people,
        check the chapter below ("I Will Follow You Into the Dark").
    
    But before we can even think about the Master Sword, we need to find a way off
    of this rock.  From the entrance to the Mountain Tower, drop off the ledge
    directly ahead (and take note that, if you step onto the blue warp tile, Link
    will retain his normal form in the Dark World -- holla!).  Descend the long
    ladder off to the west.  At the base of said ladder is a cave, which you should
    enter.  As was the case with the caves that brought us to this mountain, there
    are some dead ends, but only one way to progress, so getting lost shouldn't be
    a worry.  These caves are fraught with pits and bats, though, so watch where
    you're going.  After two screens of dark, depressing caves, you'll emerge on a
    ledge near Kakariko Village and the Lost Woods.  Hop down and get movin'.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       e.  I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK                 [Hyrule Castle Again]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    With all three Pendants in hand, it's time to claim that which is rightfully
    yours:  the Master Sword, which is waiting for you in the Lost Woods.  From
    there, we'll be returning to Hyrule Castle to kick some wizard butt.  Let's
    move!
    
     == THE MASTER SWORD + THE ETHER MEDALLION ======
    
    The Master Sword lies in a grove that is located in the northwestern portion of
    the Lost Woods.  The quickest way to get there is to enter the woods via the
    path northwest of Kakariko Village.  To find this path, enter the village, then
    exit through the trees in the top left-hand corner.  Fight past a couple of
    green knights (easy!), then enter the forest proper.  Ignore the detour to the
    right and press northward to find a couple of log tunnels -- you can take
    either one as they both lead to the same place.
    
    Continue north, eluding the oh-so-annoying thief as you do so, to find another
    two log tunnels.  Trot through the one on the right to reach yet another set of
    these wooden tunnels.  The one on the left leads to the Master Sword, so, like,
    go in.  This is the second-most hallowed grove in existence (the most hallowed
    is, of course, Ashburton Grove, but that has nothing to do Zelda so I'll shut
    up).  There's a pedestal at the back of this colorful, animal-filled grove, but
    in order to lift the sword you'll need to translate some ancient text.  Bust
    out your Book of Mudora to do the job, then circle around the pedestal and
    claim the blade as your own.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Master Sword.  The so-called Blade of Evil's Bane isn't the best
        sword in the game (not by a long shot), but it's a significant step up from
        that glorified dinner knife you've been using up to this point.  Not only
        does it take fewer slices to dismantle enemies now, but whenever Link's
        hearts are full you'll be able to blast (admittedly weak) laser beams from
        the tip of your sword.  Give it a try!  You can also cut signs in half,
        which is kinda fun... for a little while (then it gets old).
    
    When you're finished playing around with your shiny new sword, leave the grove.
    Doing so prompts the ever-defenseless Zelda to whine telepathically about some
    soldiers coming to get her.  What a nag.  No matter what you do or how fast you
    move, there's nothing you can do to prevent Zelda being kidnapped yet again.
    As a result, there's no reason to visit the Sanctuary, so we'll just skip that.
    You can head to Hyrule Castle immediately if you want to get down to saving
    Zelda's worthless butt, but there's one extra thing to do first if you're
    interested in some side-questin'.
    
    With the all-powerful Master Sword in hand, we can trek back to Death Mountain
    to acquire a magic medallion that you'll probably never use but can be slightly
    fun to play around with.  I know it's tedious going back up there when we just
    got back, but stop whining and do it anyway.  Why?  Because I said so.  Make
    your way through the caves and climb back up toward the Mountain Tower.
    However, instead of entering the dungeon again, circle around to the west of it
    to find a rope bridge.  Cross it, then whop out the Book of Mudora to examine
    the tombstone-looking epitaph to score the Ether Medallion.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Ether Medallion.  This cool item is almost as magical as Robin
        van Persie's left foot (emphasis on the *almost* -- nothing is more magical
        than RVP's left foot, but as usual I digress).  Unfortunately, because it
        consumes magic power, this magical medallion isn't very practical.  When
        used, magical blasts of ice-cold wind will freeze all enemies on the
        screen.  It's cool to play around with, but it isn't the most useful piece
        of weaponry.
    
    Awesome, now go back down and make your way toward Hyrule Castle:  it's time to
    save Zelda (again) and confront the evil wizard who is responsible for making
    us run all over Hyrule collecting stupid Pendants.  What a butthole.
    
     == RETURN TO HYRULE CASTLE =====================
    
    At the gates of Hyrule Castle is a team of guards, but they should be no match
    for you at this stage of the game.  Fight your way through them and enter via
    the front doors.  Our goal now is to find a way onto the castle roof, so enter
    the first door to the west.  In the subsequent corridor, take an immediate
    south.  Ascend the stairs and continue south to reach the rooftops.  A few
    steps to the east is the door that will take us toward the wizard, but there's
    an electrical barrier precluding our entrance.  No problem!  Whack the
    electricity with your Master Sword and voila!  We're in.
    
    The heavily-guarded rooms leading in to the wizard's lair don't constitute a
    dungeon per se, but there are a number of obstacles (almost always in the form
    of nasty baddies) to clear before we can have our showdown with Agahnim.
    Proceed through the empty foyer to meet two ball and chain-toting soldiers.  As
    is the case with most rooms in this place, the door leading onward will remain
    locked until you finish off all the enemies.  These guys aren't too difficult,
    but they're just a warm-up exercise for what's to come.  They can only swing
    their morning stars every few seconds, so wait at a safe distance for them to
    attack, then rush in and get a few slices in.  Lather, rinse, and repeat -- not
    only will you have no trouble killing them both, but you'll also be squeaky
    clean!  Uh... move on.
    
    As soon as you enter the next room, two dagger-wielding soldiers will rush you.
    A single whirling blade technique will kill these guys, so dodge their attacks
    and give 'em hell.  Once they've been dealt with, a treasure chest will appear.
    Grab the key inside and unlock the door.  The subsequent chamber is dark, which
    makes it difficult to tell what you're up against.  In addition to a single bat
    (located on the statue directly to the south), there is another dagger dude.
    However, the door on the western wall is wide open, so you can either stand and
    fight like a man or skip past this room without getting your recently-washed
    hands dirty.  Your choice.
    
    It's still dark in the next room, which also happens to consist of a series of
    barriers that form a sort of maze.  I suggest using the Boomerang to bother any
    foes that you can't quite reach as you weave northward, then west, then south,
    then west again -- there's a treasure chest set against the western wall.
    Inside is the key you'll need to unlock the door against the eastern wall,
    south of where we entered this place.  It's another dark room beyond here, and
    again two quick-moving soldiers will swarm you.  Stay mobile to avoid their
    attacks and finish them off quickly before heading upstairs.  Up next is one
    blue knight accompanied by a blue archer.  Again, the door is open, so there's
    no need to fight them, although doing so is the easier course of action.
    
    So now you're locked in a room that is comprised solely of a narrow walkway
    surrounded by dangerous pits o' black doom.  Spectacular.  You can take either
    the north or the west walkway, as they reconnect shortly.  The main foes here
    are blue knights, so proceed with caution as you move toward the open doorway
    to the northeast.  In the following chamber, deal with another blue knight and
    his two archer friends to score a key.  Keep movin' -- we're almost there!
    
    Okay, at least there's proper lighting in this next room.  Take care of a
    couple of spear-tossers (remember that your shield can block their projectiles)
    and some bats, talk to Sahasrahla via the tablet, and continue your conquest of
    chaos.  It's two spear-using knights up next.  Use the barriers in the room to
    separate the two, as taking them on one at a time will -- believe it or not --
    make things significantly easier.  Was that too obvious to point out?  Oh well.
    The next room is filled with supplies hidden underneath pots, but be sure to
    finish off the bat and the knight before raiding them.
    
    The next area contains a mixed bag of baddies:  you've got a ball and chain
    trooper, one of those fast blue dudes, and a spear-tosser.  The good news is
    that the door leading ahead is wide open, so feel free to make a run for it (or
    use that Ether Medallion of yours to freeze them all, whichever you prefer).
    You'll emerge behind some statues -- push the westernmost one aside, kill the
    enemies, and move on to find some more narrow catwalks.  Terrific.  If you have
    full hearts, Link's laser beams are helpful here.  If not, just proceed with
    your sword at the ready.  Climb the staircase at the opposite end of this
    chamber to find yourself on the precipice of the wizard's lair.
    
    One room later you'll witness Agahnim doing something to Zelda (if you're
    reading this but not playing the game, that might sound kind of weird).  He'll
    disappear, but cut through the curtains at the back of the room to find a
    secret doorway.
    
    Here we go.
    
                                  - Boss:  AGAHNIM -
        So here's the thing:  as totally awesome and legendary as the Master
        Sword is, it won't do a thing against Agahnim.  For that matter,
        neither will any of your other weapons.  If Agahnim was smart, he'd
        just sit there and laugh at Link's complete inability to damage him.
        But he's not smart -- in fact, he's his own worst enemy.  By flinging
        balls of magical energy at you, he's supplying you with the only way
        of inflicting damage upon him.  Who's up for some baseball?
    
        There are two ways to do this:  you can use either the Bug-Catching Net
        (lame) or the whirling blade technique (awesome).  Either way, wait for
        Agahnim to launch a ball of energy at you:  if it is one solid ball,
        then you can use one of the aforementioned methods of attack to deflect
        the blast back at him.  If it connects, Agahnim will sustain damage.
        If not, wait for the next attack and get it right -- go David Ortiz on his
        wizard butt.  This is the *only* way to hurt the wizard, so keep it up.
    
        Now, Agahnim has a couple of tricks up his sleeve that you should know
        about.  First of all, he'll sometimes shoot several small, blue balls
        of energy at you.  These can be deflected, but they won't hurt him so
        it's best to simply dodge them.  Also, when Agahnim appears in front of
        the northern wall, he's preparing to fry you with lightning.  This
        cannot be deflected at all and causes significant damage, so move as
        far to the side as you can to avoid getting hit.  Aside from that, it's
        all about persistence.  After taking enough blows, Agahnim will regress
        into the Dark World, taking you with him.
    
    Goodbye pleasant, happy Light World, hello depressing, apocalyptic Dark World.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       f.  FILTHY BEASTS                                           [Dark Palace]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    So here we are standing on top of a giant golden pyramid at the end of the
    world.  Oh dear.  This twisted version of Hyrule is known as the Dark World
    (scary, huh?).  For the time being, however, only so much of the Dark World is
    accessible.  The first of seven Crystals is found in the Dark Palace, which is
    located roughly in the Dark World's equivalent of the Light World's Eastern
    Palace.  Let's move.
    
     == DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE ========================
    
    From atop this giant golden pyramid (called the Pyramid of Power), go down two
    flights of stairs, then go right and drop off the ledge via the gap in the wall
    (there's a doorway in the pyramid wall below and a gray statue to the left).
    Ignore the doorway, there's nothing pertinent in there, but instead curl around
    the ledge and follow the path northward to discover a Piece of Heart.  Snazzy.
    Make your way to the base of the pyramid.
    
    At this point, you've got two options:  if you want, you can proceed directly
    to the first dungeon (do not pass Go, do not collect $200), or, if you're up
    for it, there are two other pieces of sidequesty business that we can attend to
    beforehand.  Your choice (just skip the next four paragraphs if you want to
    take on the dungeon immediately).  Okay!  Sidequests!  Let's get down to it.
    Firstly, equip the Magic Mirror and gaze into it to warp back to the Light
    World.  Note the swirly residue left in your wake -- step back into this to
    return to the Dark World.  Anyway, once you're back in the brightly-colored
    Light World, head toward the northwest corner of Hyrule.
    
    Remember the lumberjack brothers?  The two guys who lived in a small cabin
    nestled in between the Lost Woods and the base of Death Mountain?  Well, that's
    where we're headed.  When you arrive, you may notice that the lumberjack bros
    are missing in action, but -- curiously -- the tree in front of their house is
    kind of an odd color.  Stand on its north side and dash southward at it with
    the Pegasus Shoes.  Doing so reveals a supersecret entrance.  Go inside to
    discover a Fairy Fountain and, more importantly, another Piece of Heart.
    
    Okay, now get Link's elf butt back to the Dark World, either by returning to
    the aforementioned swirly residue that was left behind when you used the Magic
    Mirror, or by passing through the main gate at Hyrule Castle.  Either way works
    just fine, so go for whichever is more convenient for you.  Once back in the
    Dark World, walk east from the base of the giant golden Pyramid of Power to
    reach a rocky field.  Head northeast, as if you were heading toward the Witch's
    Magic Shop in the Light World.  There's a shop in the same location here in the
    Dark World, but there's nothing good for sale.  All they've got is Red Potion,
    a basic shield, and some Bombs -- nothing special.  Stock up if need up,
    otherwise ignore this shop and continue northeast past it, as if you were
    headed toward the Zoras' domain.
    
    Instead of a watery domain, however, the Dark World ends here with a dead end
    waterfall.  Noteworthy, however, is a sign nearby that promises "curses" to
    anyone stupid enough to throw something into the adjacent circle of stones.
    Well, under normal circumstances it would be very stupid to throw something
    into a circle of stones when a sign guarantees curses if you do so, but this is
    a videogame, so live on the edge a little bit and toss the sign into the
    circle.  Instead  of the curses as advertised, the fish that lives within the
    rocks hands over the Quake Medallion under the condition that you promise to
    leave it alone.  See?  Aren't you glad you listened to me and not that stupid
    sign?
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Quake Medallion.  As the second of three Magic Medallions in
        the game, Quake, predictably, generates a minor earthquake which affects
        all enemies in the vicinity.  It's a powerful tool if you're surrounded,
        but it eats your Magic Power faster than a fat kid eats a cupcake (which,
        if you never witnessed a fat kid eating a cupcake, is *very* fast).
        Because of this, it's hardly the most practical piece of weaponry.  Even
        so, it's fun to mess around with.  So, like, feel free to mess around with
        it.
    
    Alright, that's all the sidequesty stuff done for the time being.  Get back to
    that rocky field (south of here or, if you're at the Pyramid of Power, simply
    walk one screen to the east).  Beware!  The Dark World is brimming with new
    enemies -- in most cases they're just beefed up versions of the guys you
    already know from the Light World, but some, such as the one-eye giant bomb-
    tossers, are a bit tougher than the garden variety you're used to.  Anyway, at
    the rocky field there's a sign that signifies that the Dark Palace is this
    way (-->).  So, like, go that way.  Head south one screen -- note that the
    bridge leading to the rest of the world is blocked off by pegs that we can't
    do anything about at the moment.  This means that heading east is our only
    option from here.
    
    On this next screen, there are three options:  the northern path, a cave set
    against the northern wall, and a south path.  The cave leads to a Fairy
    Fountain, so duck in there if you're low on Hearts, otherwise ignore the south
    path and go north to find yourself nearer to the Palace.  Now, this area is
    somewhat labyrinthine and it's quite easy to get lost, so pay close attention
    (or not, whatever).  Upon entering the area, head east toward a bomb-tossing
    cyclops patrolling the ground just south of a walkway which is flanked by
    stones with goblin heads on them.  Dispose of or avoid the cyclops at your
    discretion, then head north on the path, curving slightly eastward as you do so
    and enter the building at the end of the path.
    
    Inside is a weird little spongy thing.  Talk to it (I know that sounds weird,
    but I promise it'll talk back to you).  He doesn't really have anything
    interesting to say (at all), so once he's finished ram the upper wall with the
    Pegasus Shoes to reveal a hidden room containing some Heart refills (lame, I
    know).  Go back outside and continue eastward from the cyclops dude patrolling
    the bottom of the path.  Turn northward when you reach the orange-brown trees
    and follow the white arrow on the ground into the canopied bushes.  It's
    difficult to see Link while he's in here, but keep pushing upward on the D-Pad
    and you'll find a way through without too much trouble.
    
    Head further north, then west (there's really nowhere else to go -- just stay
    on the path) until you have the option of either entering another heavy bush or
    continuing west.  You can try to find a way through the brush, but you won't
    have any luck.  Instead, continue west through a small underpass of brush,
    then go north when you have the option.  Now, take the next right and, from
    there, enter the heavy brush at its nearest entrance.  It may take some time to
    find a path through here, but remember always that you want to exit on the far
    east side of the bush.  You'll have to travel in a roundabout southeasterly
    manner to find a way through it and, shockingly, unexpectedly, when you emerge
    on the eastern side there's a purple monkey following you.  What the bleep is
    that all about?
    
    Even weirder, the little scam artist will introduce himself (herself?) as Kiki
    and immediately demand 10 Rupees.  Jeez, these Dark World types have no concept
    of manners, do they?  Fork over the money anyway and he'll keep you company for
    a bit longer.  Head north rather than south when you have the choice, then
    press on eastward, southward, eastward and finally northward to reach the Dark
    Palace.
    
      * Note:  It's important to not get hit by enemies while Kiki is present, by
        the way, because he's a little you-know-what and if Link sustains any
        damage at all he'll run away.  Should this occur, you'll have to revisit
        the heavy underbrush to find him again.
    
    So, we're at the Dark Palace.  But wait!  There's no door!  How do we get in?
    Unfortunately, there's nothing in Link's arsenal that can open it, so you'll
    have to condescend to ask Kiki for help.  Pay him another 100 Rupees and he'll
    open it.  That monkey is a greedy little c-word, but you don't have a choice.
    Give him the money, watch him do his thing, then big the little guy adieu and
    enter the Palace.
    
     == THE DARK PALACE =============================
    
    Let's do this shizzle.
    
    Directly ahead of you are three doors.  There central door is open, whereas the
    ones to the left and right must be opened via floor switches (which you'll step
    on en route to either door).  Let's start with the door on the right.  Stomp
    the floor switch in the corner as you make for the door.  As soon as you enter
    the next chamber, an annoying little enemy will charge toward you.  He's
    covered in armor which renders your sword useless, so grab one of the skull-
    shaped pots instead and chuck it at him to kill him.  Underneath the upper-
    right pot is a switch that, when stepped on, will re-open the southern door,
    allowing access to the previous room.  But you don't need to bother with that
    right now.  Instead, proceed through the stairs on the northern wall.
    
    You'll find a couple of things in the next room:  three warp pads (although
    only one is functional) as well as one of those annoying roaming flame enemies.
    Avoid the baddie and step onto the swirly warp pad  This takes you to a similar
    room.  There's a tile on the north wall -- check it out to hear a message from
    Zelda herself.  Apparently the princess is imprisoned in Turtle Rock, which is
    atop the Dark World equivalent of Death Mountain.  She doesn't have anything
    interesting to add, so dodge the two flaming baddies and smash the cracked
    southern wall to find a corridor filled with floating, electrified jellyfish.
    Slash through them (but not when they're pulsing with electricity!) and proceed
    to the end of the hallway to find several cracked walls and floors.  Blowing
    open the floor only reveals a black pit of doom, so don't do it.  Just Pegasus
    Shoes your way through the wall and head north into the following room.
    
    Okay, here's something new.  The three enemies in this room won't directly
    attack Link.  Odder still is the fact that their movements mirror yours.  If
    you move up, they move down, if you move left, they move right, et cetera.  The
    green ones are completely non-threatening -- just make them walk toward you or
    pin them against a wall and cut them up.  The red guy, on the other hand, is a
    different issue completely because if you look directly at him he'll spit
    something nasty and painful at you.  So here's what do:  equip your Bow and
    stand either north or south of him.  Now, fire an arrow toward him and quickly
    move vertically to direct the enemy into your arrow.  You have to move fast, so
    it may take a few tries, but keep at it and you'll get it done eventually.  Do
    this twice and the northern door will open up.  As a side note, don't bother
    trying to blow open the cracked walls -- it won't work.  Fake cracked walls
    seem to be a recurring theme in this dungeon, so don't get your hopes up every
    time you see one.
    
    This next room is another tricky one.  Conveyor belts force you to continually
    move north while dodging spiked blocks and more flying jellyfish.  Take your
    time moving through here to minimize the damage Link sustains.  Stairs at the
    top end of the room lead onward.  Finally!  We're at the end of the road (not
    the end of the dungeon, just the end of this particular area).  Cut down three
    more red jellyfish and check the treasure chest to receive the Map.  Awesome.
    Contrary to what I said about cracked walls just a few seconds ago, both the
    east and west walls in this particular room can be blown open.  The eastern one
    leads to a Fairy Fountain (fill up those empty bottles!) while the western one
    leads to a small ledge upon which you'll discover a Key.  Cool.  Now regress
    all the way back to the room with the flaming baddies and the warp pads.  Push
    the block directly beneath the active warp pad to the right to access it, then
    step onto it.  Take the stairs at the top of the room and we're back to where
    we started.
    
    Smash the upper-right skull pot to unearth a switch that opens the southern
    door.  This door, as you already know, leads back to the foyer.  This time take
    the door on the far left.  Just like you did last time, kill the armored baddie
    with a pot and head through the door at the top of the room.  Now, this is much
    more straightforward than the previous area.  There are three pots in this room
    -- the top-left and top-right contain the usual stuff, but the one in the
    bottom-left corner conceals a switch.  Step on it to make a chest appear.  It
    contains a second Key.  Cool.  Avoid the flame-spitting statues in the center
    of the room (totally *not* cool) as you head back the way you came.
    
    Return to the foyer again and now we're finally ready to take on whatever lies
    through the central door.  Immediately you'll need to expend one of your two
    Keys to open the northern door.  Head through it and you'll notice two things
    as you travel north through the next room:  firstly, you again have a choice to
    make in regard to which path to take (at least this time it's only two paths,
    not three like before); secondly, there are turtles coming straight toward you.
    Turtles!  Not awesome.  But what's even less awesome is the fact that, as of
    now, the turtles are one hundred percent impervious to anything you might throw
    at them.  Link's sword is nothing more than a brittle twig against their
    shells.  Because of this, all you can do is dodge them and take the path on the
    right.  Head north across the bridge, pushing the lower block right into the
    pit in order to proceed.
    
    You'll emerge in a room that should look at least a little bit familiar.  Pop
    open the chest to score another Key, then walk onto the arrow at the tippy-top
    of the platform you're currently standing on to leap across the chasm.  The
    paths to the left and right are precluded, so take the stairs.  There's a
    closed door to your immediate north (ignore it) and a bouncy blue baddie coming
    at you from the west.  Cut through it and head west, using a Key to open the
    door to the north.
    
    This next part can be a bit on the tricky side, so listen up.  As soon as you
    grab one of the skull pots directly in front of you and step onto the walkway
    ahead, it will begin to crumble beneath your feet.  That means you need to move
    quickly.  But!  There's more to it than just that.  As the floor behind you
    falls away, two helmet-clad enemies will charge at you from the north.
    Dispatch the first one with the skull pot you lifted and either dodge the
    second one or knock him off the ledge with your sword.  Either way, when you
    reach the top, head left and use your last Key to unlock the door.
    
    Who turned out the lights?  Not only is it dark in here, but there are nasty
    flame-spitting enemies all over the place.  And it's a maze.  Darkness, fire,
    and mazes are not a good combination.  To navigate this room safely, I highly
    recommend walking around and killing off all the baddies before anything else.
    This way, you don't run the risk of taking unnecessary damage while exploring
    this room.  After doing that, check the northwest corner for some Bombs, the
    southeast corner for another Key, and the middle of the eastern wall for a
    cracked, Bombable wall.  On the other side is... the Big Chest!  Totally
    awesome!  But wait... We don't have the Big Key yet.  Totally lame.  Don't
    worry, though, we'll come back soon enough.  Make a mental note of this place,
    because we'll return shortly.  For now, though, return to the previous room,
    and this time take the doorway to the right.
    
    In here you'll find four more turtles (gah!) surrounding a treasure chest.
    Snag the contents (the Compass!) and duck into one of the doors on the north
    wall (they both lead to the same place, so it doesn't matter which one you
    choose).  Another dark room -- lame -- but this one is full of blue Rupees --
    awesome.  Watch out for the spinning flames as you gather the riches strewn
    throughout the room.  Don't forget to rob the chests on either side of the room
    to find an Arrow refill and another Key.  Once you have everything, use either
    door to return to the turtle room.  Exit south through another locked door.
    
    The subsequent room is another case of fake cracked walls -- don't waste your
    Bombs.  Crush the skull pot to the left and grab the blue Rupee in the chest,
    then push one of the grey statues into the center of the room to avoid having
    to dodge the spiked blocks.  Go through the southern door to find yourself back
    in familiar territory.  Fight off the blue baddie that'll come from the west,
    then ready your sword and use the downward arrow to jump onto the platform
    below, which is crawling, swarming, absolutely rife with those spongy baddies.
    When they've all been appropriately dealt with, push the lower of the two
    blocks to the left, head up the stairs and you're back to the room where you
    met the turtles.
    
    So what now?  Head over toward the eastern bridge, the one with the two blocks.
    Push the lower one to the right off the edge and, this time, instead of going
    north, follow the block off the edge and into the pit.  It won't hurt, I
    promise.  You'll land in a room full of turtles and, worse yet, when you move
    westward a quartet of skeleton baddies will descend from above.  Fight them
    off, then smash the skull pot at the end of the line of blocks to reveal a
    treasure chest, inside of which is a Key.  Use the warp pad surrounded by pots
    at the upper right-hand side of the room to escape this death trap.
    
    Take the stairs to the north to find yourself back at the start of the dungeon,
    in the room with three doors.  Take the one in the middle and, this time, take
    the left path.  As I'm sure you've already noticed, the floor here is cracked.
    Well, do the obvious thing:  plant a Bomb to blow a gaping hole in the floor,
    then drop through it into the pit.
    
    You'll land in the same room as before, except now you're on a high ledge.
    Ignore the fake cracked walls and raid the pots for some refills, then unlock
    the door to the north and go through.  Check the chest to obtain the Big Key.
    Finally!  Drop off the ledge and find your way back through all the rooms
    you've been through before.  Return to that chamber with the crumbling floor,
    take the eastern door and work your way back through the darkened maze to find
    the Big Chest again.  This time, we can open it.  Inside is...
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Magic Hammer.  In addition to functioning as an effective weapon
        in its own right (this is the only weapon that works against the turtle
        baddies that run rampant in this dungeon, for example), the Magic Hammer is
        also essential to surmounting certain obstacles, namely pegs in the ground
        or weird whack-a-mole-esque obstacles that we'll encounter in just a few
        moments.
    
    Alright then, find your way back to the room with all the bouncy blue baddies
    (and the one red one) and the arrows on the floor.  Jump off the ledge into the
    middle of the room (where the big blue bouncy pad is) and hit the colored orb
    that's gleaming on a ledge to the south with your Boomerang.  This will lower
    the blue blocks to the right and allow you to pass through into the as-of-yet
    unexplored eastern doorway.
    
    This room is devoid of enemies, but there's a puzzle to solve.  There's only
    one door other than the one we came through, but it's closed.  Break the pots
    on the right side of the stairs to uncover a floor switch that, when stepped
    on, will open the door.  However, there's a catch.  The moment you step off of
    it, the door will slam shut again.  Not to worry, there's a simple solution.
    Push the nearest of the four stone statues onto the switch.  Easy!  Now move
    ahead to the next room.
    
    Say hello to another batch of those baddies whose movements mirror Link's.  You
    already know how to deal with them, so slay all three of them and move on via
    the door.  As soon as you enter the next room, immediately stop moving.  Like,
    take your finger off of the D-Pad.  There's a spiky block bouncing back and
    forth right in front of the door.  wait for it to pass, then quickly make a
    break for the passage directly to the north.  Hit the colored orb at the top of
    the screen, then dodge the spiky block again as you explore the eastern half of
    the room.  But wait a minute -- it's a dead end!  No, actually, it's not.
    Equip your Bow and fire an Arrow directly into the eye of the grey statue at
    the top of the room.  Doing so reveals a secret passageway and some stairs
    leading downwards.
    
    It's dark in here and, ostensibly, there's nowhere to go -- every direction is
    blocked off by those whack-a-mole things I mentioned earlier (I don't know how
    else to identify them, so "whack-a-mole things" they shall be from here on
    out).  No problem!  Whip out your shiny new Hammer and pound them into the
    ground.  Voila!  You can pass!  But be careful, because this room is dark and
    full of turtles )which, by the way, can be flipped onto their backs with the
    Hammer, thus exposing their soft underbellies, which can be slashed at will
    with your sword).  The door leading onward is to the west, but to reach it you
    will have to first cross the withdrawn orange blocks, then use a ranged weapon
    like the Boomerang or Bow to hit the colored orb on the other side of the room.
    Use your last Key to open the door and move on.
    
    The following room is a narrow corridor containing a solitary turtle.  Flip him
    over with the Hammer and go to town on him.  Note that he'll eventually flop
    back onto his feet, so work quickly before exiting to the south.  Here you'll
    be swarmed by six or seven turtles, so be careful.  The boss fight is right
    around the corner and you don't want to be low on Hearts for that. Try to flip
    over as many as possible with a single pound of the Hammer then slice them up.
    When they're all taken care of, the door will open.  There are no enemies in
    the next room, thankfully, but there is a block-pushing puzzle of sorts.  The
    room is set up as such:
    
                [1]
             [2]   [3]
          [T]   [W]   [T]
             [4]   [5]
                [6]
    
    Where "T" represents a torch, "W" represents the warp pad that is your ultimate
    goal and the number represent blocks.  Only block number 3 can be moved --
    slide it downward to create a path to the warp pad.  This warps you to a narrow
    corridor.  Keep your Hammer equipped as you walk northward because there are
    two waves of turtle enemies headed straight for you.  Kill them as you go.  At
    the end of the path is the door that leads to the boss.  Ready?  Then let's go.
    
                       - Boss:  GIANT ARMORED SCORPION THING -
        The most difficult thing about this battle is not the boss's range of
        attacks, it is that this beast is literally a beast -- he takes up most
        of the room, meaning that there is very little space to maneuver.
        There are also spiky blocks at the top of the room, so you're better
        off staying in the lower half.  As far as his attacks go, he's got two
        things to watch out for:  a tail attack which happens without much
        warning and, as a result, is difficult to dodge.  Although, I find that
        his tail is easier to avoid the closer you are to the boss himself, so
        stay as close as you can without making physical contact with him.
        Also, he likes to spit out fireballs which then divide into smaller
        fireballs before finally disappearing.  This is easier to avoid -- just
        keep your eyes open and stay on the move.
    
        So how do we hurt this thing?  Use your Hammer to smash it's blue face
        mask.  As you do this, the mask will begin to crack before eventually
        shattering completely.  When this occurs, replace your Hammer with the
        Bow and start firing Arrow after Arrow at the green gem that, for some
        odd reason, is lodged in this creature's forehead.  He doesn't have any
        new attacks in this new phase, but he moves much more quickly, which
        makes it a bit difficult to be accurate with your Arrows.  My
        recommendation is simply to keep the Arrows coming -- the sooner you
        defeat this guy, the less damage he can inflict upon you.
    
    When he's dead and gone, you'll receive a complimentary full Heart Container
    (as always) in addition to the first of the seven Crystals that you'll be
    earning in place of Pendants here in the Dark World.  With the Dark Palace
    officially conquered, we're one step closer to saving both Zelda and Hyrule.
    Cool.
    
     == EXPLORING THE DARK WORLD ===================
    
    As always, there's stuff a-plenty to explore and find before heading on to the
    next dungeon.  If you're not interested in these extras, skip ahead to the
    next chapter ("Into the Flood").  Otherwise, keep reading.
    
      - Before we conquered the Palace of Darkness, we visited a bridge south of
        that rocky field between the Palace of Darkness and the Pyramid of Power.
        But that bridge was covered in pegs, and we couldn't cross it.  With the
        Magic Hammer, that bridge is no longer an obstacle.  Smash in the pegs and
        cross it.  Head south first to the reach the Dark World equivalent of Lake
        Hylia.  Hop off the ledge and into the green water, looking for a wide
        circle of rocks surrounding a patch of shallow water.  Stand in the center
        and use the Magic Mirror to return to the Light World, where you'll find a
        Piece of Heart and one of those green electrical enemies.
    
      - Now find your way back to the bridge with all the pegs and head west this
        way, toward where Link's house.  There's still a building there in the Dark
        World, but it's not Link's house -- it's a Bomb Shop.  There's nothing
        noteworthy in there as of now, but there will be a special surprise at this
        very shop later on in the game, so don't forget about it.  Anyway, head
        south from here into a big grassy field.  To the immediate east is a
        Bombable wall, inside of which is a cache of Rupees.
    
      - Don't leave the field yet!  Head west now -- on the other side of the wall
        near the northwestern lake is a heavy stone.  Lift it and toss it aside,
        then head west.  There are some Piggies patrolling this area, so deal with
        them, then check the southwest corner of the area to find a circle of
        bushes.  Stand in the center of use the Magic Mirror again.  In the Light
        World, you'll appear on a plateau, right next to a cave.  Head inside to
        find some Heart refills and a Piece of Heart.
    
      - Back to the Dark World.  From the circle of bushes mentioned directly
        above, take a few steps north, cut through some more bushes and enter the
        grove here.  In the middle you'll find a... thing.  This thing wants to
        play his Flute, but he's too lazy to look for it himself, so he entrusts
        his Shovel to you.  You can dig around here if you want, but you won't
        find what you're looking for (you might find some Rupees or other minor
        goodies, though).  Instead, warp to the Light World and dig in the upper
        left-hand corner of the grove to find his Flute.  Go back to the Dark World
        and play it for him.  Now it's yours.
    
      - With the Flute in tow, return to Kakariko Village (Light World).  Stand in
        front of the weathervane (the stone bird in the middle of the village) and
        play it.  Doing so will free the bird trapped inside (what?), who repays
        your kindness by carrying you to various points in Hyrule anytime you play
        the Flute.  Good deal.
    
      - Alright, get your butt back to the Dark World and head toward Kakariko
        Village.  Instead of entering the village proper, check out the area south
        of it.  There's a digging mini-game here.  It costs 80 Rupees to play,
        which seems a bit steep, but what can you do?  Anyway, it'll be worth the
        cost when you dig up another Piece of Heart.
    
      - While you're still in the vicinity of Kakariko Village, warp to the Light
        World and head to the Blacksmith's Shop (one screen east from the village).
        There's a wooden peg just outside the Blacksmith's house -- hammer it into
        the ground.  Hop off the ledge into the black pit below, then choose the
        northern door.  Inside is an altar of sorts.  Sprinkle some Magic Powder
        onto it and a surprisingly respectful and polite bat will appear.  He's a
        bit peeved that you woke him up, so he'll exact his revenge by cutting your
        Magic Meter in half.  This doesn't make your magic weaker -- what it really
        does is lessen the amount of Magic consumed when you use a magic item like
        Ether or the Ice Rod.
    
      - Okay, last thing before we move on to the next dungeon, I promise.  Enter
        the field south of the Bomb Shop and head southwest, like you're headed for
        the Light World's desert.  However, you'll find that there's no entrance
        to where the desert would be -- there's just a stone wall.  But there are
        a bunch of pegs in the ground.  I wonder what those are for?  Stand to the
        left of them and warp to the Light World.  Head left one screen to find a
        stone covered in scripture.  Use the Book of Mudora (and you thought you'd
        used that for the last time, didn't you?) to translate it and receive of
        the Bombos Medallion.
    
    That's it for now, so let's make our way to the second of the Dark World's
    seven dungeons.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       g.  INTO THE FLOOD                                         [Swamp Palace]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    The watery next dungeon lies in a field located just south of where Link's
    house would be if it existed in the Dark World, but we can't just waltz in
    there.  Well, you can, but you can't make any progress.  First, we need to take
    care of something really quick.  Let's get started.
    
     == BEFORE THE SWAMP PALACE =====================
    
    The Swamp Palace is a small building located in the southern part of the field
    just south of the Bomb Shop (which is located in the Dark World's equivalent of
    Link's house).  But there's a problem -- if you enter it now, there's nowhere
    to go.  We need to open the floodgates first, so warp to the Light World and
    enter the corresponding building.  Push the blocks out of the way (push the
    middle block forward and the right block to the right).  There are two levers
    in the back room.  Pull the one on the right (the left switch rains bombs upon
    you -- no fun) to open the floodgates and release the water.  Go back outside
    and return to the Dark World.
    
    Now we're ready.  Go in.
    
     == THE SWAMP PALACE ============================
    
    Assuming that you followed the steps listed directly above, the previously dry
    tunnel in this first room of the Swamp Palace should now be filled with water.
    Hop in to get your feet wet and swim to the stairs on the right.  Examine the
    tablet on the wall to get some (predictably useless) info from Sahasrahla, then
    swim to the left and use the ladder to get back to dry ground.  Watch out for
    the spiky block bouncing back and forth in front of you and kill the three
    baddies in the shallow pool.  Your reward for doing so is a treasure chest,
    inside of which you'll find a key.  This is handy, because the only door
    leading onward is locked.  Unlock it and move on.  Also, watch out for the
    shadowy creature bouncing around in the water -- you can't kill it, so you're
    better off just avoiding it.
    
    The next room is quite a bit larger than the previous one, and as a result
    there are a few things to check out.  First of all, blast open the cracked wall
    in the alcove to the left.  Inside is a chest containing this dungeon's Map.
    Sweet.  In the previous room, dodge the various enemies (daddy long-legs, more
    of those bouncy shadow creatures and, just for good measure, some fireballs)
    and raid the skull pots in the center of the room for some general goodies as
    well as a Key.  Use it to unlock the door in the southwestern corner of the
    room.
    
    The following room, much like the preceding one, is chock full of enemies.  In
    addition to some floating electric jellyfish, there's a skeleton soldier, a
    traveling ball of flames (you can't destroy it, so just do your best to stay
    out of its path), and to top it all off, there's a fireball-spewing statue in
    the middle of everything.  Do your best to remain damage-free as you head for
    the staircase on the left.  At the bottom of it you'll find a second staircase
    which takes you to a locked door.  However, we don't have any keys at the
    moment, so ignore said staircase and instead go through the open doorway at the
    bottom of the stairs.  Conveniently enough, there's a key hidden underneath a
    pot here.  Take it back to the previous room and open the locked door.
    
    Okay, start off by slaying the two skeletons.  Once they're out of the
    equation, use the Hammer to pound the weird whack-a-mole things into the
    ground, thus granting you access to a switch.  Press it to release a cascade of
    water into those tunnels that we were just exploring.  But hold on a second,
    don't head back there just yet.  First, use a Bomb to detonate the cracked
    western wall and grab the goodies inside the pots, then regress two rooms to
    discover that the raised water level allows you access to a ladder that was,
    previously, unreachable.  Head through the doorway to reach a large room full
    of different doorways that will serve as a sort of hub for the immediate
    future.
    
    In the center of this room, you'll notice, is that which we must desire when
    conquering a dungeon -- the Big Chest.  Unfortunately, we don't have the Big
    Key just yet, but we'll rectify that soon enough.  For now, though, take the
    southern door (directly south from the Big Chest).  It leads to a circular
    series of rooms -- the route to the left is impeded by some blocks, so do the
    sensible thing and head to the right, slicing through any enemies that are
    stupid enough to cross your path.  After traveling back westward through the
    southern chamber, you'll return to where you just came from, except now you're
    on the other side of the blocks.  Push the lower one to the right to reveal a
    hidden treasure chest.  Plunder it to attain the Compass, then return to the
    hub.
    
    There are two more currently accessible doors in this cavernous chamber, but
    one of them is locked, so take the stairs in the lower left-hand corner of the
    room and enter the doorway at the top of them.  Again you're faced with
    skeletons, electric jellyfish, and two kinds of flames.  Furthermore, a
    retractable wall at the top of the room makes the situation a bit cramped, so
    move carefully.  Take the stairs to the left; an arrangement of blocks blocks
    (haha) the way to the west, so peek into the door at the top of the screen
    instead.  Just like last time, there's a Key beneath the skull pot.  Grab it
    and return to the hub.
    
    Now, how about we deal with that locked door?  Get Link's elfish butt to the
    northwest corner of the room and unlock it.  On the other side is a switch and
    a colored orb which, when hit, will lower the retractable wall.  Defeat the
    various enemies first, then smack the colored orb to lower the wall, flip the
    switch, hit the orb to lower the wall again (make sure you do this, otherwise
    you'll have to return here in a bit), head out through the eastern door and re-
    enter the door at the lower left of the hub.  With the water level in here
    raised, that series of blocks in the tunnel below is now irrelevant.  Simply
    swim over it and onto the dry land on the other side.  Go through the door.
    
    Dodge some more enemies and drop off the ledge (or take the stairs, whichever
    you prefer) into the shallow water below.  Ignore the long corridor leading to
    the north, it's a dead end.  Instead, turn your attention to the four blocks
    that are impeding your path to the left.  Unlike the last time this happened,
    these blocks can be moved.  Check it out:
    
          [1]   [2]
             [3]
             [4]
    
    Push block number four to the left, then block number three upward and -- hey
    presto! -- the path is clear.  The stairs lead to a staircase that leads to a
    room filled with shallow water.  Push the solitary block out of your way and
    head north to find a pit on either side of the room.  These aren't the usual
    black pits of doom that you're accustomed to, however; dropping into these
    won't cause you any damage (I promise) and you'll land in the room below.
    Drop into the left pit and you'll land next to a chest, inside of which is a
    single red Rupee.  Cool, but not exactly what we're looking for.  Don't worry,
    just drop off the ledge to the right and return to the previous room.  This
    time, fall into the pit on the right side of the room.
    
    You'll land on a platform with two skull pots and another one of those
    retractable wall (if it's raised, you'll have to go back and hit the colored
    orb in that other room -- I told you you'd have to if you didn't listen to me
    earlier).  In any case, proceed east through the doorway to find a line of pots
    (blue Rupees lay underneath each one -- score!) and, more important, a chest
    containing the Big Key.  Awesome.  Now get back to the hub and pop open the Big
    Chest to receive one of my personal favorite items in the game.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Hookshot.  Welcome to Awesomeville, population: You.  The
        Hookshot's function is twofold:  Firstly, it functions as a longer-range
        version of the boomerang, stunning distant enemies or snagging otherwise
        out of reach goodies.  More importantly, however, is has the amazing
        ability to latch onto certain objects (pots, statues, et cetera) and pull
        Link toward them.  This works even over chasms, gaps, or pits.  BOING!
    
    With the Hookshot in tow, there's move to explore in this room that I've been
    calling the hub.  For starters, move to the edge of the platform that the Big
    Chest is sitting on.  Do you see the skull pot on the ledge over to the right?
    Line yourself up parallel to it and fire the Hookshot at it.  Boing!  Now
    you're on that ledge.  Pretty cool, huh?  Yeah, totally cool.  Anyway, there's
    a Key under the adjacent pot, so grab that before dropping off the ledge in the
    water below.  Now get yourself to the platform in the upper left-hand corner of
    the room )the one with the door that used to be locked).  If you stand on the
    far right edge of this platform, you can see a pair of skull pots on the ledge
    to the right.  Hookshot yourself over there and use your shiny new Key to open
    the door.
    
    In the subsequent room you're presented with a choice:  left or right?  Let's
    start with the left.  The door at the end of this path is locked, but look
    underneath the nearest pot to find a switch.  You know how this works:  Move
    the nearby stone statue onto the switch, but don't head through the adjacent
    door -- it'll only take you to a dead end.  Instead, take the path to the right
    and enter the door on that side -- the door, not the staircase.  You'll emerge
    in a room with a switch and a pool of water.  Hit the switch to drain the pool,
    then descend into it and head through the door.
    
    The next room consists of a hallway which presents you with a north-or-south
    option.  Opt for the southern path.  Going through the doorway here will bring
    you to a pair of pots and a pair of chests (+40 Rupees).  There's also a
    staircase, but don't be tempted by its lure.  It just leads back to a
    previously-explored room, so ignore it and return to the preceding hallway.
    This time, go all the way north, through the doorway at the very top of the
    screen.
    
    You'll find yourself in a room with a single doorway and a whole lot of
    waterfalls.  Start by heading through the doorway -- it's a dead end, but there
    are some goodies stored within the pots.  Back to the room with the waterfalls.
    It may seem like there's nowhere else to explore in this chamber, but things
    are not always as they seem.  Walk north *through* the penultimate waterfall
    (that means the second to last one before you hit the eastern wall) to find a
    secret door.  Inside you'll find some more goodies, which are guarded by
    electric jellyfish, as well as a door leading still deeper into the dungeon.
    
    Cut through the lone enemy in the following corridor and enter the room below.
    This room is filled with water, and the water is, in turn, filled with those
    annoying daddy long-legs type enemies.  The longer you wait on the ledge, the
    more of them will congregate around you, so it's best to just take the plunge
    immediately.  There's a Key stashed beneath the pot on the ledge to the right,
    so grab that before getting your feet wet again and heading west.  Blow open
    the cracked wall to score some important refills, then use your Key to open the
    door.  It's that time again:  Boss time!
    
                       - Boss:  JELLYFISH COVERED IN POPCORN -
        Like many bosses in this game, this one consists of two stages.  In the
        first stage, your task is to destroy the various popcorn-looking puffs
        floating around the boss's body.  However, this can't be accomplished
        simply by slashing your sword at it.  No, sir, you'll need to take on
        each puff on an individual basis.  To do this, use the Hookshot to grab
        one, then quickly slash, slash, slash away at it until it either dies
        or returns to the boss's body.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  As you do this,
        the boss will float around the room, occasionally releasing all of its
        puffs at once.  For now, this is its only attack, so take your time, be
        patient and you shouldn't take on much damage.
    
        When the last puff has been destroyed, round two commences.  The boss
        will now crash down onto the watery floor from high above and jettison
        around the room at high speed  A single swipe of the sword will prompt
        the creature to take to the sky, crash down again, and repeat the
        process all over again.  At this point, a good offense is the best
        defense.  Just keeping moving and whack it with your sword whenever it
        comes close.  After enough slashes, it'll die and your job here will
        be done.
    
    So that's two Crystals now, and another full Heart.  We're making progress.
    
     == PIECES OF HEART AND SOMETHING MAGICAL ======
    
    With the Hookshot in hand, even more of Hyrule's dark, twisted twin brother is
    available for exploration.  As always, if you want to move on immediately to
    the next dungeon, skip down to the next chapter ("Feed Me to the Forest").
    
      - First up is the "something magical" mentioned above.  We're headed for the
        Dark World's equivalent of the Light World's graveyard (which is just east
        of the Sanctuary, if you don't already know).  The problem is that, where
        in the Light World there is a bridge that allows you to cross the river
        near the Witch's Hut, no such bridge exists in the Dark World.  Instead,
        there is just a wooden plank (one screen north of the rocky field between
        the Pyramid and the Palace of Darkness, and one screen south of the shop).
        Equip the Hookshot, stand on said plank, and shoot yourself across the
        river.  Cool.  Now head one screen north and one screen east to find the
        graveyard (it's not so much a graveyard in the Dark World, but I'm gonna
        keep calling it one for the sake of easiness).
    
        Once you arrive, you'll notice a stack of five rocks surrounded by a fence
        in the top-right corner of the graveyard (you'll have to use the Pegasus
        Shoes to smash an identical pile near the entrance to the graveyard).  So,
        here's what you do:  Smash the pile of rocks in the top corner, then stand
        directly above where they once were and use the Magic Mirror to return to
        the Light World.  You'll be in a corner of the graveyard that's surrounded
        by black rocks -- rocks that, as of now, are too heavy to lift.  But that's
        not an issue, is it?  Circle around to the front of the headstone, crash
        into it with the Pegasus Shoes (maybe a bit disrespectful, but oh well) and
        head inside to claim the Magic Cape.  This cool item is essentially the
        same thing as the Invisibility Cloak from Harry Potter, except that it
        drains your Magic Power like crazy (something HP never had to worry about).
    
      - While you'll still hanging around the Dark World version of the graveyard,
        why don't you circle around behind it.  There's a ladder than leads up to
        a platform that is rather conspicuously devoid of anything.  Hmmm.  Seems
        odd, right?  Try the Magic Mirror.  Aha!  There's a cave here.  Go in, bomb
        the cracked wall, and claim your Piece of Heart.
    
      - It's convenient that we've got the Magic Cape now (see two paragraphs above
        if you don't have it), because the next Piece of Heart we're going after
        requires that you have it.  Head west a couple screens from the Dark
        World's graveyard, then north as if you're headed toward Death Mountain
        when you get to the sign that reads "This way -> Cave."  Continue north
        until you reach another sign, this one reading, "I'll give a Piece of Heart
        to the person who wears the Cape."  From here, turn right and lift the
        large slab blocking access to the adjacent cave.  Inside the cave, head
        north and up the stairs at the end of the cavern.  There's a pit blocking
        the path ahead up here, but you can use the Hookshot to cross it.  Here's
        the part where things get a bit tricky:  There's a big blue bouncy pad
        blocking the road onward.  How to get past it?  Well, put on your Magic
        Cape and you can walk right through it.  Very cool.  Outside is your Piece
        of Heart.
    
      - Finally, head to the Dark World's Kakariko Village.  It's not so much a
        village as a haven for criminals and various other ne'er-do-wells, so watch
        your back while you're there.  The Piece of Heart can be won in a mini-game
        found in a building on the west side of the village (the building is the
        one with the treasure chest symbol above its doorway, believe it or not).
        The game is pretty simple:  The room is filled with treasure chests, you
        fork over 30 Rupees, open two chests, and keep whatever is inside.  It's
        completely random, so there's no further help I can give you.  There is a
        Piece of Heart in one of the chests, though, I promise.  Good luck!  I hope
        you brought a lot of Rupees, just in case it takes a while.
    
    That's it for the time being; now, the next dungeon beckons!
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       h.  FEED ME TO THE FOREST                                   [Skull Woods]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    The third dungeon -- and the Crystal guarded by its boss -- is a change of pace
    from the ones we've explored and conquered so far.  Instead of consisting of a
    single building, this one is comprised of various buildings scattered through
    the Dark World's Lost Woods.  Enter the woods from the south (the entrance just
    north of the Village of Outcasts) and let's begin, shall we?
    
     == THE SKULL WOODS =============================
    
    I'm tempted to brand The Skull Woods with the title of "Most Annoying Dungeon
    in the Game", but we still have to explore Misery Mire, the Ice Palace, and
    Turtle Rock, all of which are equally, if not more, annoying, so I won't jump
    the gun and do that.
    
    Anyway, from the southern entrance to the woods, head north until you arrive at
    a bush next to a black pit.  Fall into the pit (you won't get hurt, I assure
    you).  You'll land in a room full of blue bouncy pads, mummies, and spike
    traps.  Welcome to the Dark World's third dungeon.  There are also vines
    covering the walls.  These can be cut with your sword, which doesn't help right
    now, but you'd do well to remember this little bit of miscellany for later.
    Also, there's one other really important thing to be aware of in this dungeon:
    Every so often, a giant hand will descend from the ceiling.  If it grabs you --
    and if you're standing beneath it, it will catch you -- you'll be taken back to
    the dungeon's entrance (which is *really* annoying*).  You can try killing it,
    but it'll only come back, so the best thing you can do is stay on the move and
    hope for the best.  Don't get caught off guard!
    
    As for the task at hand, there are two exits in this room.  The one in the
    southwest corner is closed, and the one in the top-right corner is locked.
    Luckily for us, there's a Key in the chest in the center of the room.  Grab it,
    then, and exit north.  Be careful upon entering the next room because a red
    shell enemy will immediately charge you down.  Kill it.  Now, there's a
    treasure chest in the corner, but black pits of doom are situated on either
    side of it.  No problem -- simply step onto the nearby star panel to relocate
    the pits, allowing access to the chest.  It contains the Map.  The problem now,
    though, is that those same pits that were blocking the chest before are now
    blocking the path to the north.  Oh well, we'll have to find a way to
    circumvent this issue.  Head through the door on the western wall instead.
    
    Look!  It's the Big Chest!  Already!  Unfortunately, we don't have the Big Key
    yet (and even if we did, we can't get to the chest from this position -- sorry
    to be Debbie Downer, but it's the harsh truth).  We don't have a normal Key
    either, which means the only option for now is to head back out into the scary
    forest via the southern door.  You'll emerge from a skull-shaped door, just
    north of the pit that we used to enter the dungeon in the first place.  There's
    a second pit just to the southwest of us.  Drop into that one.
    
    Without warning you'll be charged by a blue shell enemy, so consider this your
    warning.  Some electric jellyfish reside here, as well.  Head south past the
    bouncy pad and rotating column of flame (wait for it to pass 12 o'clock, then
    quickly move past it) and enter the open doorway to the right (don't worry
    about the skull pots behind the flames -- there's nothing special underneath
    any of them anyway).  Enemy-wise, the following room is quite similar to the
    previous one -- there are shell enemies (in both the blue and red varieties) in
    addition to another rotating column of fire.  Check the chest north of the
    flames to score the Compass.  The act of opening the chest creates a series of
    pits across the floor, so watch your step.
    
    Besides the door through which we entered this room, there are two more:  One
    that leads to the east and one to the north.  The eastern doorway leads back to
    that first room we explored (when we fell through the pit), so take the
    northern one instead.  A bunch of mummies are waiting for you in here -- kill
    them all (or just the one blocking your way to the chest on the left, if you
    want), avoid the hand monster, and pop open the eastern door.  This leads back
    to the room with the Big Chest -- again, there's nothing we can do here just
    yet, so head out into the forest again.
    
    Mosey northward until you reach the cluster of nine purple bushes -- turn left
    at them and head further north through the tunnel of bones (ominous).  At the
    end of the path you'll find another entrance to the dungeon.  Like, go in.  In
    addition to a couple of mummies, you'll find a couple of doors.  The closed one
    to the north can and will be opened, but let's check out the left door first.
    Just head straight left through a second doorway to reach a room with a
    southern door that leads back out into the forest.  Ignore this door and
    instead grab a Key from underneath the pot in the top-left corner.  Regress two
    rooms, to the chamber with the mummies, jellyfish, and closed door.
    
    Alright, now let's get that door open, shall we?  First things first, make life
    easier for yourself by clearing out all the enemies.  With that taken care of,
    check the skull pots in the center of the room to find a floor switch that,
    when stepped upon, opens the door.  But, as you know, you need something heavy
    to hold the switch down.  The obvious thing to do is to grab one of the two
    stone statues nearby -- but you have to drag it, you can't push it (otherwise
    you'll open the door but be trapped behind the statue, so use the right
    shoulder button to grab the statue and drag it with you).  One final thing to
    take note of:  That super-annoying hand enemy patrols with room with an iron
    fist (do you see what I did there?).  The faster you work, the less you'll have
    to worry about it.  My best advice is to drop the statue and move away when you
    see the hand coming down, then resume your task once it disappears.  Trust me,
    there's nothing more annoying than getting grabbed when you're on the verge of
    setting the statue in its proper place.  This can be one of the most
    frustrating parts of the game, so be patient and stick with it.
    
    When you finally reach the northern room, start as always by defeating the
    various enemies (a mummy, a skeleton, and a jellyfish -- blurgh).  After that,
    raid the treasure chest to find the Big Key.  Totally effin' sweet.  Take care
    to avoid the skull pot at the north of this room, by the way -- underneath it
    is a "powerup" that temporarily morphs Link into a very cute but ultimately
    defenseless bunny.  Don't touch it.  I know it's temping, but don't touch it.
    Don't do it.  Just leave it alone.  Okay.  Bomb the cracked eastern wall to
    find a replenisher for your Magic Power (if you needed it), then go back
    outside.  Travel back through the tunnel of ribs and head for that cluster of
    nine bushes.  Cut them up to reveal another pit -- fall into it to find
    yourself in the northern part of a room that we'd previously explored.
    
    There are a few enemies to worry about in here, namely a blue shell monster, a
    ball of energy that crawls along the various skull pots, and one of those
    armored bugs that we first encountered in the Dark Palace.  Deal with them all
    accordingly (the ball of energy can't be destroyed, so just ignore it) and Bomb
    the western wall.  Before heading through the doorway that you've just created,
    make sure that the nearest star panel has been stepped on.  Did you do that?
    Okay, then let's go.  There are various cracks along the southern wall here,
    but Bombs won't dent them any further.  Just pull the level on the wall
    instead.  Doing so will blow open the southern wall and allow you to get to the
    Big Chest.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Fire Rod.  Did you ever wonder what the Ice Rod would be like if
        it shot fire instead of ice?  No?  Well, like it or not, that's exactly
        what the Fire Rod does.  The Fire Rod is essentially the Ice Rod's twin,
        except that instead of chilling baddies with icy blasts, it fries them with
        balls of fire.  It's a lot of fun to play with, but as always the caveat is
        that it eats up Link's Magic Power.  So, like, use it sparingly and stuff.
    
    Okay, so we've got the Fire Rod, but where to next?  Head outside and north
    again through the skeletal tunnels.  Head back inside through the entrance here
    (I'm sure you remember this room from earlier -- it was really annoying).
    Thankfully, there's nothing quite so annoying this time around -- just head
    west through a couple of rooms and exit south to find yourself outside once
    again.  There are now two sets of bone tunnels -- the one on the right doesn't
    lead to anywhere particularly fruitful, so take the left one instead.  "But
    wait just a second!", I hear you protest.  "This is a dead end!"  Well, not
    quite.  Equip your shiny new Fire Rod and swing it at the long, thin bone
    protruding outward toward you.  A secret entrance -- wow!  Go in.
    
    Go ahead and cut up the worms on the walkway ahead, but the door at the end of
    it is locked, so you'll need to take the stairs near the entrance first.  This
    lower area is slightly misleading -- you can't, for instance, access that
    tantalizingly-close treasure chest from where you are, so simply stand out of
    sight beneath the overhead walkway and move north until you can enter the
    doorway at the top of the screen.  The next room is filled with obstacles
    galore -- do your best to avoid them as you dash south to find a doorway on the
    western wall.  Head through to find that chest from the previous screen --
    inside is a Key.  There's a set of stairs in the previous room, but it leads to
    a dead end.  Ignore it, then, and return to the first room of this area.  With
    that Key in hand, you can now unlock the door at the north end of the walkway.
    Do so.
    
    Star panels littered across the floor make this next room a bit difficult to
    explain.  Whenever you step on one of the panels, the various black pits in the
    room will re-arrange themselves.  The door we need to exit this hellhole is
    located on the eastern wall, so tread carefully from star panel to star panel,
    always trying to work your way toward that side of the room.  There's another
    nasty hand enemy in this room, as well, so be vigilant for that.  In the next
    room, make taking out the various mummies your primary objective.  Once that's
    done, equip your Fire Rod and light all four torches to open the door.  Again,
    watch out for the aggravating hand baddie.
    
    Be prepared for sensory overload when you enter the next room -- there are
    worms and mummies and one of those weird yellow swirly things that turns Link
    into a bunny (oh my!).  Do your best to avoid it and kill all the enemies.
    After that, you might start to think that this room is a dead end.  But do you
    remember what I told you about the ivy on the walls?  Hack away the green stuff
    on the northern wall to expose a hidden doorway.  The next room is, again,
    teeming with enemies.  Defeat them all to win the Key that will open the door
    leading onward.
    
    And here we are again -- the final room before the boss.  Heal up, save your
    game, whatever you need to do to ensure that you're ready, then drop into the
    hole in the floor to meet the fearsome master of the Skull Woods.
    
                                - Boss:  GIANT MOTH -
        Oh yes, the fearsome master of the Skull Woods is a big moth.  Uh...
        Scary?  This is kind of an odd boss fight because the most difficult
        part of the battle isn't the actual boss itself, but rather the various
        spikes that form a makeshift ring around the room.  Not only do these
        restrict your movement and make for a rather cramped arena, but as the
        battle rages on, they'll begin to fall toward you.  As a result of
        this, it's an absolute necessity that you stay on the move in order to
        minimize the damage you take on.
    
        As for the offensive side of things, the Fire Rod is your best bet to
        fry this dude (which is ironic because moths are usually drawn toward
        flames).  Fling shot after shot of fiery goodness at this creature as
        you do your best to dodge the spikes as well as the orange rings that
        he shoots out.  If you run out of Magic Power, don't fret -- your sword
        also works against this boss, although it's significantly weaker than
        the Fire Rod.  The Giant Moth only has one form, so once you've
        sufficiently fried him, the battle will come to a close.
    
    Another full Heart, another Crystal.  Whoa-oh, we're (almost) halfway there.
    Now, I know that we usually go on all kinds of fun adventures to score lots of
    awesome goodies between dungeons, but I'm sorry to say that that is not the
    case in this instance.  There's nothing new to explore at this moment in time,
    so all we can do is head for the next dungeon.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       i.  ROCKIN' THE SUBURBS                                   [Thieves' Town]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Our next destination is the dungeon known as Thieves' Town, which is located in
    the Village of Outcasts (which, predictably, is the Dark World's dark and
    twisty version of Kakariko Village).  It's just south of the Skull Woods, so
    get movin'.  When you arrive at the village, check out the central plaza.  Do
    you see the giant gray gargoyle (hooray for alliteration!) statue?  Approach
    the grate formed by its trident, grab it with the right shoulder button and
    give it a good tug to open it.  Welcome to Level Four.
    
     == THIEVES' TOWN ===============================
    
    The entry room of this dungeon consists of two parts:  An upper tier and a
    lower tier.  On the upper tier are some skull pots and a closed door on the
    eastern wall, but nothing else worthy of note, so take the nearby stairs or hop
    off the ledge to get to the lower area.  Remove the skull pot that's blocking
    the path to the north and head in that direction.  You'll meet a pair of blue
    lizardmen up here as well as the slightly-more-hardcore red lizardman -- kill
    them all, then check the chest on the left to acquire the Map.  From here,
    there are two paths leading north off-screen.  Take the one on the right.
    
    Kill off another red lizardman and run due north toward a set of stairs that
    will take you back to the upper tier.  Follow the walkway south until you reach
    a cracked wall -- bust through it with the Pegasus Shoes and duck inside the
    hole you've just created.  To the north and south you can find blue Rupees
    stashed beneath skull pots, and in the case of the northern path there is a
    second cracked wall.  This one requires a Bomb to blow open, so set one and go
    through the hole to score another two blue Rupees.  Now regress two rooms (to
    the first room that had a cracked wall) and use the stairs to return to the
    lower tier.  Head west, avoiding the moving flames that are roaming around this
    area, then press southward and finally back east toward a staircase.  See the
    treasure chest just over to the left?  Well, follow the walkway west, then
    south, then east, then finally north to reach it.  Inside is a red Rupee.
    
    Drop down to the lower level and stroll east onto the next screen.  From here,
    turn south and keep walking down until you pass below the upper tier and onto
    the next screen.  Fight off a couple more lizardmen and use the stairs to the
    southeast of where we entered this room to access the upper level.  Move south,
    then west, the finally north to find the chest containing this dungeon's
    Compass.  Okay, now from this chest, drop off the ledge and walk west onto the
    next screen, where you'll find yet another chest.  This is a really exciting
    chest, because inside is no more, no less than the Big Key.  I know what you're
    thinking:  Already!?  Yep, we already have the Big Key.  But don't worry --
    we're nowhere near being done with this dungeon yet.
    
    Head east one screen, then walk all the way north onto the next screen.  In
    this room, find the nearest staircase and, once you've accessed the upper tier,
    check out the north wall to find the door that you can unlock with the Big Key.
    The subsequent corridor has three doors:  The closest one requires a Key (and
    we don't have one of those at the moment), the one in an alcove to the north is
    closed for the time being, and the one due north is open but completely and
    somewhat conspicuously empty (don't worry -- we'll be back here in due time).
    Search the skull pots near the northernmost door to find a Key, then use it to
    open the locked door and head on through.
    
    In the next room, deal with a couple of lizardmen and simply walk due west
    through the wide open doorway.  In addition to some conveyor belts, spike
    traps, and mobile flame enemies, the next room boasts two doors.  Take the door
    to the left, doing your best to avoid all the nasties as you cross the room
    (you can't kill either of the flame-type enemies, so don't bother trying).  The
    following room is quite similar, except it's more north-south than the previous
    one was.  Hop onto the conveyor belt and carefully directly Link northward,
    doing your best to dodge the flames, spikes, et cetera along the way.  There's
    a door directly north and one on the eastern wall, but a retractable block is
    impeding your path to the latter, so go with the former.
    
    Spikes fill the next room, but they're conveniently held at bay by retractable
    blocks.  Snag the Key from beneath the skull pot, hit the colored orb to
    release the various spikes, and open the door at the top of the room.  There
    are several things of note in the following room:  For one, there's a tablet to
    the left, which you won't be able to reach if you hit the colored orb in the
    past room, as I suggested.  Don't worry, it's just Sahasrahla and you know by
    now that he doesn't have anything interesting to say.  There's also a lever to
    the right of the doorway, but do yourself a big favor and ignore it:  Pulling
    it will bring you nothing but trouble, I promise.  Furthermore, there are some
    notable fractures in the floor, but they can't be blown open, so don't waste
    your time trying.  Finally, there's the issue of the closed door on the eastern
    wall.  Check the skull pots at the bottom of the screen to find a switch.  Move
    along.
    
    Ignore several more cracks in the floor as you traverse the subsequent hallway.
    In the room at the end of the hall is what you really want:  There's a chest
    that contains some Bombs, which you should toss over the barrier and onto the
    cracked floor that's spotlighted by the sunbeam streaming through the window.
    Doing so allows the sunlight to filter into the room below this, which is that
    oddly empty room we checked out just a little while ago.  This may seem
    pointless, but I assure you that you'll understand why we had to do this before
    long.
    
    Now, work your way back to that corridor with the conveyor belts.  Assuming
    that you activated the colored orb in the room before it (and if you didn't, go
    back and do it), the nearest door on the eastern wall should now be open.  Go
    through it.  Deal with a couple of lizardmen in the next room before exiting
    through the eastern doorway.  There are an additional three doors in this next
    conveyor belt-filled room:  The easternmost door takes us back to a prior
    corridor, the southern one leads to some Rupees, and the northern one leads
    deeper into the dungeon.  So grab the Rupees from the southern doorway, then
    take the northern one.
    
    Kill three enemies in the next room to open the sealed door to the left.  Don't
    worry about the southern door.  There'll be a door directly across from where
    you enter the next room, but ignore it because there's absolutely *nothing* of
    any worth in there.  Instead, hop onto the conveyor belt and work your way to
    the south as carefully as possible.  I recommend using the Hookshot to deal
    with the electric jellyfish from a distance.  At the bottom, there's a locked
    door and an open door.  We don't have any Keys at the moment, so do the
    sensible thing and opt for the open one.
    
    Dash straight across through the doorway to reach the dungeon's, er... dungeon.
    You'll have to deal with several lizardmen as you fight your way northward
    through the various gates (which look like they're locked but really aren't).
    At the top of the room is the prototypical damsel in distress.  Don't talk to
    her just yet; instead, take the Key from the nearby chest and return several
    rooms to that locked door we passed.  Check it out!  It's the Big Chest!  Pound
    the whack-a-mole things into the ground and snag Titan's Mitt.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Titan's Mitt.  This is a long-overdue upgrade for the Power
        Glove that we found aaaaaaaall the way back in the Desert Palace.  I'm sure
        you've noticed black rocks in various locations throughout Hyrule -- rocks
        that were, frustratingly, too heavy for Link to lift, even with the Power
        Glove.  Well, be frustrated no longer!  Titan's Mitt grants Link the might
        he needs to lift any stone in the game.
    
    Now, quickly return through the door before the floor completely disappears.
    Return to the prison cells and talk to the girl, who'll implore you for help.
    From this point onward, she'll follow your every move.  Despite her claims that
    she wants to be taken outside, however, returning to the dungeon's entrance is
    a complete and utter waste of time -- a fool's errand, you might say, because
    this young lady doesn't actually want to leave the dungeon.  Instead, take her
    to that weird room that didn't have anything in it.  You know, the one at the
    end of that long corridor?  Yep, that's the one.  Take her there and lead her
    into the sunlight (assuming you blew the floor in the room above as I
    instructed, if not you'll have to go and do that now) to reveal her true form.
    
                        - Boss:  FAKE MAIDEN / REAL MONSTER -
        Uh, so not your prototypical damsel in distress, then.  This boss's
        modus operandi is as follows:  He floats around from wall to wall,
        blasting laser beams at you.  There's no foolproof way to avoid them,
        so your best bet is simply to stay in motion at all times.  You can, in
        turn, damage him by slashing his head with your sword.  Once you've
        inflicted enough damage, his head will come off (what?) and start
        floating around the room of its own volition, shooting lasers at will.
        You can't hurt the disembodied head, so wait until you body begins to
        move again and redouble your efforts.  Again, after you land another
        few blows, a second head will enter the fray (how many heads does this
        dude have?).  This time, when you land the final blow it will be the
        final blow for real.
    
    As always, the end of the battle brings you another full Heart, another
    Crystal, and another lame plea from some random Maiden.
    
     == THE TEMPERED SWORD & OTHER COOL SHAZZ =======
    
    The Titan's Mitt we found in Thieves' Town opens up a whole lot of new things
    to check out.  Most importantly, we can get an upgrade for that Master Sword
    that you've been dragging around for quite a while now.  Let's get crackin'.
    
      - Warp to the Light World and speak to the Blacksmith (homeboy who lives in
        the house one screen east of Kakariko Village).  He'll promise to temper
        your sword if you can find his partner.  To do so, you'll need to return to
        the Dark World.  One screen south of the Village of Outcasts, you'll
        encounter a weird little Frog-man (ribbit!) bouncing around behind some
        black stones.  Toss the stones out of the way and talk to him.  He'll beg
        you to take him back to his partner -- be a good man and help him out.
        With him following you, warp back to the Light World and return to the
        Blacksmith's house.  The brothers are now reunited, and to reward you for
        your kindness, they'll temper your sword.  The caveat is that you'll have
        to give up your sword while they work on it, which means you'll be
        temporarily weaponless.  Don't worry -- just work on a couple of the things
        listed below, and when you're done with them you'll have your sword back
        and it'll be better than ever.
    
      - How about a Piece of Heart?  Warp to the Dark World and visit the screen
        east of the Village of Outcasts (the same place where the Blacksmiths live
        in the Light World).  Toss the giant black slabs out of the way and hammer
        all the pegs in front of you into the ground.  Doing so reveals a secret
        staircase.  Head down it to earn another Piece of Heart.
    
      - Don't leave the area yet!  Inside the Dark World's version of the
        Blacksmith brothers' house is an odd treasure chest that Link can't open.
        However, if you inspect it, it will follow you (how can it move when it
        doesn't even have legs?  I have no idea).  Now, do you remember that weird
        old man who lived near the Desert of Mystery in the Light World?  No?
        Well, there's this weird old man who lives near the Desert of Mystery in
        the Light World (he's sitting next to a sign one screen east of the Desert
        proper).  Bring the chest to him and he'll open it for you, revealing the
        fourth and final Bottle.  Just make sure that you don't dash with the
        Pegasus Shoes while the chest is following you, otherwise you'll lose it.
    
      - Okay, one last thing before we move onto the next dungeon.  First off,
        fill up your Bottles with Red or Blue Potion, especially if you don't have
        the Magic Cape.  Then, go to the Light World and climb up Death Mountain,
        climbing that long ladder as if you're headed toward the Mountain Tower.
        Step onto the swirly blue warp tile (the same one we used the very first
        time we went to the Dark World -- nostalgia!).  Once you're in the Dark
        World, walk due south to find a small gap in the barrier.  Drop off the
        ledge here and you'll land on a small ledge below.  Go through the doorway.
        The floor in this cave is covered in spikes, which means you need to
        either have the Magic Cape or be able to take a lot of damage without dying
        (hence the Potions).  With either method, smash the whack-a-mole things in
        with your Hammer and move as quickly as possible across the spikes.  Your
        reward at the end of the road is the Cane of Byrna.  Not really worth the
        trouble, honestly, but if you're a perfectionist you'll want to take the
        time to acquire this item.
    
    Onto the Ice Palace.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       j.  THE COOLEST                                              [Ice Palace]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    The ice-covered Ice Palace is located in the chilling waters of the Lake of
    Ill Omen, the Dark World's green, goopy version of Lake Hylia.  To get there,
    cross the bridge south of the Pyramid of Power by hammering the pegs into the
    ground and, instead of heading west toward the Bomb Shop, continue moving in a
    southerly direction.  Plop into the water and swim toward the southeast of the
    screen -- the Ice Palace is the big white-gray building floating on the water.
    However, there's no discernible entrance.  What are we gonna do?  No problem,
    I'm a problem-solver.  Gaze into the Magic Mirror to warp to the Light World.
    You'll emerge on (or near) an island in the middle of Lake Hylia.  Lift the
    black stone in the center of the island to reveal a warp tile -- step on it to
    find the entrance to the Ice Palace.
    
      * Note:  Take care to watch out for the bouncy orange monster that keeps
        lashing its tongue at you.  It likes to steal (and eat) your shield, and
        the last thing you want going into this dungeon is to be defenseless.
    
     == THE ICE PALACE ==============================
    
    The Ice Palace's foyer isn't the largest room we've explored, but there doesn't
    appear to be any exit.  The door to the left is closed, but there's a tablet
    on the northern wall.  Move toward it and an ice monster will detach itself
    from the wall and charge toward you.  Not to fear!  Whip out that Fire Rod of
    yours and toast him.  Doing so opens the door to the east.  Check the tablet
    before leaving to get some (useless) advice from Sahasrahla.
    
    You'll be familiar with the brand of enemy that occupies the next room --
    electric jellyfish are nothing new.  However, don't go running willy-nilly
    toward them, because the floor is covered in a sheet of ice.  Ice, as I'm sure
    you know, is quite slippery, so it's important to move slowly and carefully.
    This dungeon is full of ice (what?  you mean there's *ice* in the *Ice* Palace?
    no way!), so now's as good a time as any to get acclimatized to moving around
    on it.  I recommend defeating the jellyfish with a ranged weapon like the
    Hookshot if at all possible.  One of the three will drop a Key, so use that to
    unlock the northern door and move onward.
    
    There's another closed doorway in the subsequent corridor.  Look for the floor
    switch in the southern alcove to open it, but watch out for the green blobs
    that pop out of the floor.  Move along.  This next room is cross-shaped, with
    a door at each point.  It will become a sort of hub for the time being -- this
    isn't the last time you'll cross through this room, believe me.  For now, your
    only option is to push the block to the right, allowing access to the northern
    and southern doors.  Since the one to the north is closed, head south.
    
    More ice, and this time the room is filled with scaly, greenish penguin-esque
    baddies who are quite adept at moving on the ice.  I find that the whirling
    blade technique is quite useful in this particular situation -- since there are
    so many enemies in such a cramped area, you're sure to connect with at least
    one of them.  Clear out the penguins, then grab the Compass and return to the
    cross-shaped room.  This time push the central block to the north.  Doing so
    grants access to the eastern door.  It's locked, but there's a floor switch
    right in front of it.  Step on that to open the door and head through it.
    
    Tired of sliding around on the ice yet?  I hope not, 'cause this room is again
    covered in a layer of it.  There are more penguins to deal with, as well as a
    circulating fireball.  Kill the penguins and check beneath the lower skull pot
    to open the eastern door (ignore the upper pot -- lurking beneath it is one of
    those rings of energy that transform Link into that helpless but oh-so-cute
    bunny).  In the next room you'll find... a dead end.  Hmm.  What to do, what to
    do?  Well, there's no point staying here (but we'll be back later, I assure
    you), so trek back to the cross-shaped hub room.
    
    Push the central block to the west this time, and you'll finally have access to
    the northern door.  Go through it.  Okay, there are a couple of things to deal
    with in this room.  Start off by killing the electric jellyfish.  Once that
    task is complete, smack the orb to lower the blue blocks and move into the
    northern half of the room.  Defeat the jellyfish in this area, too, then take a
    look at the cracked floor.  That's a bit conspicuous, don't you think?  Toss a
    Bomb onto it to blow a hole in the floor, but you won't be able to access yet
    because those confounded red blocks are impeding your path!  Calm down, here's
    what you do:  plant a Bomb next to the crystal orb, then quickly dash onto the
    north side of the room.  Where the Bomb detonates, the blue blocks will rise
    and the red ones will recede into the floor.  Drop through the hole.
    
    You'll land on another cracked floor, but don't bother trying to Bomb it -- it
    won't have any effect.  Instead, check out the tablet on the northern wall to
    get some classically vague information from Sahasrahla about how to defeat the
    Skeleton Knight.  Right on cue, said Skeleton Knight will appear as soon as
    you're done talking with Sahasrahla.  A single blow from your sword will cause
    the Knight to collapse into a pile of bones, but before long he'll be as good
    as new.  In order to defeat him for good, you need to blow those bones up with
    a Bomb.  There's a second Skeleton Knight in the southern half of the room --
    use the same tactics to dispatch of him, then proceed through the door.
    
    Now, this is a bit tricky.  The floor is moving, and there are spike traps all
    over the place.  If ever there was a time to move slowly, cautiously, this is
    it.  Use the Hookshot to target the electric jellyfish from a distance -- make
    sure you take them all out, because one of them is carrying a Key.  Fight your
    way to the western side of the room, make sure the orb is currently colored
    red, and unlock to the door.
    
    On the other side is a narrow walkway, the crossing of which is complicated by
    the presence of one of those clockwise-moving columns of flame.  You know how
    to deal with these by now:  wait until it moves past you, then move to safety.
    Be sure to check beneath each of the skull pots in this room, because beneath
    one of them is a floor switch that opens the door leading onward.  The
    following room is pleasantly uncomplicated -- an open doorway and few blob
    baddies is all there is to think about.
    
    Head downstairs to encounter a line of penguin enemies.  The moment you enter,
    they'll all charge toward you.  Cut a hole through them and proceed to destroy
    each and every one of them to unlock the door on the northern wall.  Step into
    the next room, but don't make a move.  As soon as you enter, a giant spiked
    enemy will slide toward you.  As long as you're standing in the doorway you'll
    be safe, but make the slightest movement toward the north and you'll be looking
    at a spike in the face.  Ouch.  Just hang out in the doorway until the spiked
    thing backs off, then quickly head north and duck in either the eastern or
    western alcove.  Neither the locked door to the right nor the wide open one to
    the left leads to anything particularly fruitful at the moment, so get the
    spiked thing to move south again by moving ever-so slightly into the middle of
    the room, then quickly dash into the northern door before it has the chance to
    crash you.
    
    When you enter the next room, the floor tiles will begin to crumble.  Don't
    bother trying to run away from the disappearing floor -- just fall in.  You'll
    land next to another one of Sahasrahla's tablets -- check it out and he'll warn
    you not to waste Magic Power.  Uh, like we didn't already know that.  Anyway,
    there are two doors to the south, but don't venture that way just yet.  Take
    the closest door -- the one on the northeast side of the room -- instead.
    Shoot down the electric jellyfish with the Hookshot, then use the same item to
    grab the block across the pit.  Head  south.
    
    As before, don't move!  This time there are four giant spiked monsters waiting
    to crush you.  The exit to this room is just to your left, but you'll need to
    maneuver south around a barrier in order to get there.  Ready?  Go!  Move as
    quickly as possible and you should make it there without sustaining any damage.
    Now, deal with some electric jellyfish.  We don't have a Key for the locked
    door to the left (and it just leads back to a previous room, anyway), so ignore
    it, use the Hookshot to grab the skull pot across the spikes and check beneath
    it to find a floor switch.  Step on that to reveal a chest back on the other
    side of the spikes.  Again Hookshot across the spikes and snag the Key inside
    the chest.  Now, you could just simply open the locked door to the east, but I
    wouldn't recommend that.  Instead, I suggest crossing the spikes again (if you
    have the Cane of Byrna or the Magic Cape you can do so without sustaining any
    damage, otherwise you'll have to lose a few Hearts) and heading up the stairs
    on that side.
    
    At the top of the stairs, fight off a Skeleton Knight, then smack the whack-a-
    mole things into the ground and lift the giant grey stone in the center of the
    room.  Take the Key beneath it, defeat another Skeleton Knight, raid the skull
    pots for some assorted goodies and a floor switch (finally, the Map is yours!)
    and finally pull the statue's tongue (yes, you read that correctly) to open the
    eastern door.  Ascend the staircase here and you'll find yourself in a room
    that should look very familiar.  The only difference is that, this time, you're
    on the other side of the barrier.  Raid the chest to score the Big Key (oh
    yes!), then push the lower block to the left and the upper block upward to
    create a path to the door to the west.  Head through it and now we've got some
    backtracking to do.
    
    Make your way back through all of the rooms that we've already explored until
    you arrive at the cross-shaped hallway with that giant spiky enemy that tries
    to smash you as soon as you enter.  If you remember, last time we were in this
    room we took the northern doorway.  Well, this time we want to take the western
    one.  In here, there's a stairway located on the far side of a rotating column
    of flames.  Avoid the flames and head down the staircase (the ice makes it
    difficult to line Link up properly with the stairs, but just keeping pressing
    down and eventually you'll get it).  You'll enter a room that seems devoid of
    baddies, but be on guard because there are two ice monsters encased in the
    northern wall.  Defeat them, then grab the Bombs from the chest that appears.
    
    Now, your first impulse will be to drop through the hole in the floor on the
    right side of the room.  Don't do it!  Instead, use one of your shiny new Bombs
    to blow open the cracked floor on the left side of the room.  Fall through that
    hole instead and you'll land right next to the Big Chest.  Pop it open to
    receive something cool...
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Blue Mail.  You've got mail! (do you see what I did there?)  Not
        a weapon or tool, the Blue Mail is a brand new suit of armor for Link to
        don.  Apparently blue is a stronger color than green, because wearing this
        sweet outfit reduces the amount of damage that Link sustains from enemy
        attacks by half.  Very cool.
    
    Okay, now let's blow this popsicle stand.  Push the blocks in your way to the
    right and exit through the eastern doorway.  An ice monster will attack as soon
    as you enter the next room -- roast him with the Fire Rod, then use the Big Key
    to open the door at the top of this room.  Deal with some electric jellyfish,
    as well as a Skeleton Knight, then unlock the door at the top of the room with
    one of the two keys that you should already have.  Avoid the roaming flame
    enemy in the subsequent room and head due south.
    
    Now, take on some more jellyfish and another ice monster than unlock the door
    to the right (you should have a Key for it already).  In here you'll find
    exactly what you need:  a colored orb.  Smack it once to to lower the blue
    blocks, check the pots for some random goodies, then return through the
    previous few rooms until you return to the room with the giant grey block in
    it.  Unfortunately, the raised red blocks impede our path to said giant grey
    block, so we'll have to take a detour.  Head east through the open doorway.
    
    Another icy room -- blurgh.  Check the skull pot to the immediate north to find
    a Key, then check the solitary pot in the northeast quadrant of the room to
    find a floor switch which opens both the western and southern doors.  Head
    south.  Take it easy is the best advice that I can give you for the next room
    -- an icy floor, black pits of doom on either side of the narrow catwalk, and a
    rotating column of flames make this room quite difficult to navigate.  As
    always, wait for the flames to move past, then run for the door.  Good luck not
    falling into the pits of doom along the way.
    
    The stairway to the north of the following room is wide open, but don't get
    ahead of yourself -- check the skull pot to the south first to score a Key.
    Now head north to reach a room filled with ice monsters and blob monsters, as
    well as one of those rings of energy that transform you into Bunny Link.  By
    now you know how to deal with all these obstacles, so clear the room then open
    the locked door and move on.
    
    You'll emerge in a room that may or may not look familiar.  This room is full
    of baddies, spike traps and other nasty things that you don't want to deal
    with.  Well, here's the good news:  you don't have to deal with them!  Simply
    check the pots directly ahead to find a switch that opens the door to your
    immediate left, and go through it.  Now this room definitely looks familiar.
    Just drop into the pit to return to the Big Chest room.  Head west and you'll
    arrive back at that giant grey block that I was going on about earlier.  Lift
    it up, toss is wherever you want, and drop into the pit that was concealed
    beneath it.
    
    You'll land in the southern half of a room that we explored previously.  Smack
    the jellyfish and Skeleton Knight and continue south.  More jellyfish.  Kill
    them, then lift the big slab to the right to discover four more jellyfish.
    Quickly cut them down, then Hammer the pegs into the ground to reach the pots
    in the bottom corner.  Okay, so what do we do now?  This room appears to be a
    dead-end, but it's not.  See the two statues on the left side of the room?
    Grab the right one with the shoulder button and pull him northward, thus
    creating a path to the pegs to the south.  Smack them with the Hammer and lift
    another giant block to uncover a pit.  Ready for this?  Okay, drop in.
    
                    - Boss:  GIANT PUFFY EYEBALL ENCASED IN ICE -
        The first half of this battle is surprisingly straightforward.  The
        boss himself doesn't really do much of anything -- I guess it's hard to
        when you're frozen.  As such, the only danger comes in the form of
        heavy chunks of ice that drop from the ceiling.  You can see their
        shadows before they come crashing down, so keep your eyes out for them
        and keep on the move.  In regard to attacking this beast, there's
        really only one option, isn't there?  Whip out your Fire Rod and let
        him have it.
    
        Once you've cooked him enough, the ice will melt, setting the eyeball,
        as well as two other eyeballs, free.  The Fire Rod is still effective
        at this stage of the battle, but Link's sword is just as useful, so go
        with whichever you prefer.  It's important not to be caught stationary,
        because in addition to the three giant eyeballs the chunks of ice are
        still raining down from above.  The most effective strategy is to deal
        with the eyeballs one at a time.  Try to pin one of them down in a
        corner and keep slashing until it's defeated.  Once all three have been
        destroyed, the next Crystal is yours.
    
    One more Crystal is ours, which means that we're that much closer to the final
    showdown with Ganon.  Now then, there are two more Pieces of Heart to grab
    before we enter the next dungeon, but as they are located so near to the
    dungeon itself I'll just cover those in the lead-up to Misery Mire.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       k.  THE DRYNESS AND THE RAIN                                [Misery Mire]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Misery Mire doesn't sound like a place that I'd want to visit, but
    unfortunately that's where the sixth Pendant is hidden.  It's located in the
    Swamp of Misery, which is located in the Dark World's equivalent of the Desert
    of Mystery.  Let's get movin'.
    
     == PIECES OF HEART AND THE SWAMP OF MISERY =====
    
    If you trek to the Swamp of Misery on foot, you'll be sorely disappointed,
    because there's nothing but a big wall blocking your path in.  So, how do we
    get inside then?  Easy, use the Magic Mirror to return to the Light World, then
    equip the Flute.  Choose to travel to number six and you'll land on a plateau
    overlooking the Desert of Mystery.  There are two black stones nearby -- lift
    the right one up to discover a warp tile.  Swamp of Misery, here we come!
    
    Drop off the ledge and head northward, following the western wall through the
    super-depressing swamp (I guess this is why they call it the Swamp of Misery).
    Near the northern limits of the swamp is an small, odd-looking building -- head
    inside to find a pair of treasure chests at the far end of this mini-dungeon.
    Block pushing puzzles?  Oh dear.  Here's what the situation look like when you
    enter:
    
        [6]      [7]
           [C][C]
        [2][3]   [5]
        [1]   [4]
    
    The blocks marked with "C" represent the treasure chests.  Push block 1 to the
    left, then slide block 4 to the right.  Next, push block 2 one space north and,
    finally, move block 3 to the left.  Easy!  Check both chests to receive a Red
    Rupee and a Piece of Heart.  Score.  Go back outside.
    
    In the northeast corner of the swamp is an small alcove.  Stand in this area
    and look into the Magic Mirror -- back in the Light World, you'll be standing
    next to a big stone.  Toss it out of the way to reveal staircase.  Like, go
    down it and stuff.  Here's another block pushing puzzle, and your reward for
    completing it is another Piece of Heart.  Worth the trouble?  You decide.
    Here's what we're looking at:
    
           [5]   [A]   POH
        [2]   [7]   [B]
           [4]   [9]   [D]
        [1]   [6]   [C]
           [3]   [8]   [E]
    
    The letters "POH" denote, of course, Piece of Heart.  Where to start?  Why not
    start with block 1?  Slide it north, then move onto block 4, which you should
    also move north.  Block 9 is next -- move it to the right.  Finally, slide
    the block labeled "B" to the right and the Piece of Heart is yours! See, that
    wasn't so hard, was it?
    
    Okay, let's move on to the actual dungeon now, shall we?  Go back outside and
    warp back to the Dark World.  The entrance to Misery Mire is located on a stone
    platform just to the southeast of the building where we discovered the first
    Piece of Heart.  However, when you get there you'll no doubt notice that there
    is no entrance.  There is, however, an odd symbol carved in the ground.  Isn't
    that the same symbol that's inscribed on the Ether Medallion?  Equip it, stand
    on the symbol and use it to reveal the entrance to Misery Mire.
    
     == MISERY MIRE =================================
    
    Let me preface:  this dungeon is called *Misery* Mire for a reason -- it sucks.
    Be prepared for a tedious slog (although, really, it isn't *that* bad -- just
    wait til we get to Turtle Rock!).  That said, let's get started!  Move through
    the narrow hallway until you reach a black pit.  Slay the gang of blobs that
    will have appeared behind you, then use the Hookshot to latch onto the block on
    the far side of the pit.  Head down the stairs.
    
    Defeat the gummy worm-type enemies on either side of the stairs, then move
    onward, heading toward that weird, shrill sound.  What is that sound, anyway?
    Move ahead and you'll discover that it's the sound of nasty wizard enemies
    blasting laser beams here, there, and everywhere.  There's also a laser
    statue (we haven't seen one of those in a long time), as well as a few more
    gummy worms.  Defeat all the enemies in this room to open the door leading
    onward.
    
    Now, there are quite a few options in this room.  Downstairs, or through the
    door to the east?  For starters, head downstairs and make your way toward the
    northeast corner of the room.  To do so, you'll have to follow the barriers
    westward, then curve back eastward once you've moved to the north side of them.
    There are two staircases in the northeast corner, but one of them is
    inaccessible for the time being, so take the one on the left and enter the
    doorway at the top of it.
    
    Defeat two more gummy worms, be vigilant of the fireballs that fly out of the
    torches in the center of the room, and head east through the open doorway.
    Here's a busy room -- there are skeletons, spikes, a locked door, and a laser
    eye statue.  Where do we start?  I'd suggest taking out the various skeletons
    first.  After that, lift the skull pot in the top-left corner of the room to
    find a Key.  Don't leave just yet, though.  Do you see the skull pot sitting in
    the middle of the spike pit?  Well, we're gonna need to lift that pot up.  If
    you've got the Cane of Byrna, then awesome, use that and you won't sustain any
    damage.  If not, be prepared to take some damage.  Beneath the pot is a switch
    that reveals a chest (also in the spike pit).  There's a second Key in this
    chest.  Take it, then exit north through the locked door.
    
    There are two doors in the next room:  one that leads north and a second one
    down below that leads west.  Take the one to the north and you'll emerge on a
    long, narrow walkway.  Follow it, as well as the one on the subsequent screen
    to reach the next room.  Defeat the wizard that apparates directly in front of
    you (that's a Harry Potter reference, btw), then head east past the skull pots
    and around the oddly-shaped barrier.  On the other side, you'll find a Key
    beneath a pot and, more importantly, an orb switch.  Thwack it to make the blue
    blocks recede.  This grants you access to the lower half of the room, where
    you'll find some skeletons baddies, skull pots, and -- finally -- a locked
    door.  Open it up and head through.
    
    There's another spike pit to cross here, so I hope you've got plenty of Magic
    Power.  Equip the Cane of Byrna and hurry across.  On the south side you'll
    encounter one of those giant spike baddies that we first met in the Ice Palace.
    Do your best to avoid it and go through the door to the south.  Ahh, okay, this
    next room is nice and simple.  There's only one skeleton to deal with and, as
    the western door is sealed, all we can do is exit to the east.  Don't bother
    trying to blow open the cracked southern wall, it won't work.
    
    Okay, we're back to that big room from earlier, except this time we're on the
    upper level of the northwest side.  Cool.  Head south (but watch out for the
    roaming flames).  There's a locked door against the western wall, but ignore it
    for now and walk out onto the chain-link floor.  There's a skull pot to the
    north, and underneath it is a switch.  The chest that it creates contains yet
    another Key.  Grab it, then head through the nearby doorway.
    
    The next room contains four bomb-dropping slugs (eww) as well as a flame enemy.
    Defeat the slugs to open the door, then go through.  Hey!  This room looks
    really familiar!  That's because we were just in here a few minutes ago.  This
    time, instead of heading east, push the block in the center of the room to the
    right, thus opening the northern door.  Head through it.  Continue north
    through the next screen and onto a lengthy wooden bridge.  There's a chest at
    the end of it, and inside that chest is a Key.  You should have three of those
    in your possession now.
    
    Okay, time to backtrack.  Regress to that big room that we've been through a
    couple times already (you know, the one with the chain-link canopy).  Remember
    the locked door on the western wall that we ignored earlier?  Open it and head
    inside.  There are a few things to take note of in the following room:  the
    conveyor belt that surrounds the room makes movement a bit awkward, the
    electric jellyfish will drop a Key when defeated, and the flying skulls are
    just plain annoying.  Make sure the crystal orb is colored blue before you
    unlock the door to the west and head through it.
    
    Gah!  Flying tiles!  How annoying.  The door to the north is sealed and,
    unfortunately, that's our destination, so you'll have to wait out the tile
    attack.  The best strategy is simply to circulate the room, keeping on the move
    at all times.  Once all the tiles are gone, light the lamps in each corner of
    the room to open the northern door and go through.  Hopefully you listened to
    me earlier and left the crystal orb colored blue, because the chest containing
    the Compass is sitting behind a pair of blue blocks.  Grab that, defeat the
    skeleton, ignore the door on the right, and return to the previous room.  This
    time we're heading south and, as the door is already wide open, you can go
    ahead and dash on through here without worrying about the tile attack again.
    
    Head south around the barrier, dealing with the various threats as you see fit,
    and north up the staircase on the other side.  Try not to fall into the pit
    that's situated directly in front of the staircase and head south onto another
    chain-link canopy.  Note the lamps behind the blocks on either side of the
    door -- they look a bit conspicuous, don't they?  Defeat the wizards in this
    room first, then push the blocks out of the way (push the bottom and top ones
    to the left and the middle one either up or down), thus gaining access to the
    lamps.  Light them, then head south into the next room.  It's the same old
    story here -- move the blocks out of the way and light the lamps.  If you've
    done this quickly enough, you'll hear the sound of something shifting.  Head
    east through the doorway to see what happened.
    
    See the pit just below the spike traps?  Well, that was inaccessible until we
    lit the lamps like we just did.  Seems like a clue, doesn't it?  Fall into it
    and you'll land right next to a chest, inside is the Big Key!  Ba dah dah dah!
    Awesome, now let's go find the Big Chest.  Exit left to find a room that is
    empty save for a warp tile.  Step on it to find yourself in front of the door
    leading to the boss, but we're not quite ready to fight the boss yet, so head
    east instead.
    
    Here's a familiar room!  Head south, then east to find yourself back in that
    really big room -- you know the one.  Get Link's elf butt to the southeast
    corner of the room and enter the doorway there (not the one at the top of the
    stairs, to one directly to the east of that one).  Walk due east through
    another open doorway to reach the next room.  Be quick, because shortly after
    you enter the next room the walkway will begin to crumble.  If this happens
    before you can get on it, you'll have to exit via the door on the western wall,
    circle back around, and try again.  Once you do get on the walkway, it's
    important to keep moving -- those eyes on the walls will shoot lasers when you
    walk by, but if you stay on the move then you shouldn't have to worry about
    them.  At the end of the walkway is the Big Chest, and inside is the Cane of
    Somaria.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Cane of Somaria.  The Cane of Somaria has a couple of functions,
        some more useful than others.  When you use it, Link will create a magical
        block -- this can be pushed, lifted, and tossed just like any normal pot
        you might find.  After creating a block, hit the item button a second time
        to destroy it, sending beams of energy in four directions.  It's not the
        most useful weapon, but as a tool it'll come in handy, especially at later
        points in this dungeon.
    
    Exit west, raid the chest to score the Map, then exit west through the locked
    door.  Here we are again.  Where to this time?  Head to the northwest corner
    and enter the doorway against the western wall.  Head north, then dodge the
    giant spiked baddie as you duck into the western door.  Avoid or destroy the
    wizards as you sit fit, then unlock the Big Door with the Big Key and head on
    through.  A warp tile, huh?  Better step on it.
    
    There are two doors in the next room, but ignore the one to the far east -- it
    doesn't lead anyway worthwhile.  Check the pots if you feel like it, but beware
    the southernmost pots as they contain those Link-bunny-transformers.  Open the
    door at the top of the stairs.  Due north is a long, wooden bridge -- cross it
    and take the stairs on the far side of it.
    
    It's dark in here, so be extra careful.  There are two doors on the southern
    wall:  one is locked and the other is sealed.  Check out the locked one first
    -- behind it is a cache of Blue Rupees.  The sealed door is a bit trickier --
    there's a floor switch hidden beneath a skull pot, but simply stepping on it
    once won't do the trick.  What to do?  How about trying your shiny new Cane of
    Somaria?  Create a magical block, push it onto the switch and -- voila! --
    problem solved!
    
    The following room looks a lot more complicated than it actually is -- simply
    head west through the wide open doorway.  A bouncing spike trap serves as a
    sentry blocking the northern path, so head south around the barrier before
    turning back northward.  Quickly slip past the spike trap to move further west.
    Head north to find a crystal orb on the other side of a black pit of doom.
    Make sure the orb is colored red, then return south and walk through the open
    doorway on the western wall.
    
    Exterminate the skeleton and dodge the roaming flame baddies.  It may look
    like there's no way to get past the raised blue blocks, but fear not.  The
    northern wall is cracked -- blow it open to find a crystal switch.  Thwack it,
    then return to the previous room and exit to the west.  Greenish blobs rain
    from the ceiling in the next room.  Cut through them as you head north.  Don't
    ascend the staircase until you've been to the top of the room and turned the
    crystal orb red, though.
    
    Avoid the various flame enemies as you head west to reach the final door.  Boss
    time!
    
                              - Boss:  GOOEY EYEBALLS -
        When the battle commences, you'll be limited to the southern half of
        the room because the boss takes up the entire northern half.  This
        limits your movement, but that shouldn't be a significant problem.
        Why not, you ask?  Well, this boss doesn't have too many attacks.  In
        addition to sending his eyeball minions out one at a time to attack
        you, he has only one attack:  lightning.  This only targets the middle
        of the room, however, you move in either corner and you'll be totally
        safe.  Your task during the first part of this battle, then, is to
        defeat each of the miniature eyeballs.  This is a fairly easy task --
        simply give each one a few slashes when it comes toward you.  It might
        take a while, but if you're patient then you shouldn't have too many
        problems.
    
        When the last mini-eyeball has been destroyed, it's time to deal with
        the big one.  It will leave it's gooey puddle and begin bouncing toward
        you.  This shouldn't be an issue -- just charge up your sword and whack
        him with it.  The biggest issue here isn't the boss himself but rather
        the lack of space.  Try to circle around the boss as best as possible
        so that you don't get cornered.  Aside from that, there's not too much
        advice to give.
    
    Congratulations!  The sixth Crystal is yours, which means that there's only one
    more to collect.  Now then, shall we sidequest?
    
     == BIG BOMB, BIGGER EXPLOSION ==================
    
    There's only one place to start, and that's with the giant Superbomb that's
    now available at the Bomb Shop.  Get your butt over there.
    
      - In addition to the standard cluster of Bombs, there is a giant green
        Superbomb (not unlike the Superchicken, but that's something else entirely)
        for sale.  It costs 100 Rupees, but the price is well worth it.  Make the
        purchase and the Superbomb will follow behind Link.  There are a few things
        to note as a result of this:  don't dash with the Pegasus Shoes and don't
        hop off of ledges.  Doing so will leave the Bomb behind, and if you can't
        reclaim it within three seconds it will explode, meaning you'll have to buy
        another one.
    
        So now that we've got the Superbomb, where are we headed?  Well, have you
        ever noticed the giant cracked wall in the Pyramid of Power?  Let's head
        there!  Luckily it's not a particularly long trek, so you shouldn't have
        too many issues getting the Bomb there intact.  When you arrive, position
        the Bomb next to the cracked wall, set it to blow, and step back.  When the
        dust clears, a secret entrance will be revealed in the side of the Pyramid.
        Go in.
    
        Approach the so-called Mysterious Pond and you'll be prompted to throw
        something in.  Why not start with your trusty sword? (don't worry, you'll
        get it back).  In fact, not only will you get it back, but it will become
        the all-powerful Golden Sword, the most powerful blade in the game.  Just
        be sure to claim responsibility for tossing it in by responding "Yes" when
        prompted.  Exit, then head back in and toss in your Bow and Arrow to
        receive the totally awesome Silver Bow and Arrows.
    
        Man, that fairy may be fat (really really fat), but she sure is cool!
    
    We're not done sidequesting just yet -- there is one more Pieces of Heart to
    acquire (the second to last one, if you've been following this guide from the
    beginning), but since that is on the way to the next dungeon, I've opted to
    cover it in the next chapter.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       l.  THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT                    [Turtle Rock]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    The seventh and final Crystal awaits... What are you waitin' around for?  Get
    moving!
    
     == EN ROUTE TO TURTLE ROCK =====================
    
    Magic Mirror yourself to the Light World, then use the Flute to warp to the top
    of Death Mountain.  You know where the warp tile is, right?  It's located in
    the center of a makeshift circle of rocks near the entrance to the Mountain
    Tower.  Use it to return to the depressing Dark World.  From here, head west
    just a few steps (toward the weird looking guy and his talking ball... That
    sounds wrong, doesn't it?), use the Magic Mirror to return to the Light World,
    drop off the ledge to the north and walk eastward past the Mountain Tower.
    
    Continue east across a rope bridge and pound some pegs into the ground to keep
    moving.  Head east one more screen to reach the end of the line -- sitting atop
    a small plateau are three wooden pegs.  Lift the black stone, climb the stairs
    and smack the pegs into the ground, but only in this order:  the one on the
    right, the top one, and finally the one on the left.  Hit them in any other
    order and nothing will happen, but hit them in the proper order and a warp tile
    will appear.  Step into it.  Hello Dark World, we've missed you (not really).
    
    You're now standing on top of the entrance to Turtle Rock.  As was the case
    with Misery Mire, you need to use a magic medallion to reveal the entryway; in
    this case, the medallion of choice is Quake.  Stand on the symbol and use
    Quake to reveal the entrance.  Feel free to head in and get started on this
    incredibly annoying dungeon right now, but there's another Piece of Heart to
    get first.  If you're interested in that, keep reading; if not, skip ahead to
    the section marked "Turtle Rock."
    
    Head one screen to the west and lift the large stone slab in the middle of the
    path to find a secret entrance.  Go in.  There's one important thing to
    remember when exploring this particular cavern:  don't touch any of the pots.
    As there are black pits of doom between each platform, the only way to get from
    place to place is via the Hookshot.  However, if there's nothing for the
    Hookshot to grab onto, then you could very well get stuck on a platform.
    
    Okay then, where do we start?  Walk toward the skull pot directly to the north
    and Hookshot onto the platform to your west.  Defeat the electric jellyfish,
    then northward.  You can't see it, but there's a skull pot that you can grab if
    you stand on the northwest corner of the platform.  Do that, then snag 50
    Rupees from the chest at the top of this new platform.  There's a second chest
    on the platform to the west -- Hookshot your way over there to score another 50
    Rupees.  Now, grab the pot on the platform to the west, take a few steps to the
    south, then Hookshot back eastward to get 50 more Rupees.  There's a fourth and
    final chest to the south, but you can only access it from the platform that is
    directly west of where we entered.  Get back there, stand in the southwest
    corner and shoot your Hookshot to the south to reach it.
    
    That's all the Rupees in here, so either Hookshot your way back to that very
    first platform or simply fall into the pit to get back there.  Either way, head
    north toward the edge of the platform.  There's nowhere to walk, and there's
    nothing for the Hookshot to grab onto, so what to do?  Well, this may sound a
    bit weird, but equip your Ether Medallion and give it a try.  It will
    temporarily reveal an invisible path to across the pit.  Do your best to
    memorize the path -- it's kind of shaped like a backwards "C".
    
    Once you've made your way across the pit, Bomb the cracked wall and continue
    onward.  In the following cave, Bomb both the northern and western alcoves.
    There's a Fairy Fountain to the north, but the good stuff is to the west.
    Again, you're presented with two options.  The northern wall, once Bombed,
    leads to another Fairy Fountain, while the southern door leads outside to what
    appears to be a dead end.  Bust out your Magic Mirror, however, and return to
    the Light World to score the penultimate Piece of Heart.  Awesome.
    
    You can backtrack through the caverns if you want, but there's a small, almost
    unnoticeable gap in the barrier directly to the south of this tiny Dark World
    platform.  Drop off this ledge to return to the cavern's entrance.
    
    Okay, now we're ready to tackle Turtle Rock.  Head back to east and enter via
    the rock turtle's head.
    
     == TURTLE ROCK =================================
    
    Welcome to Hell.  Well, maybe not, but Turtle Rock is without a doubt the most
    frustrating dungeon in the game.  I hope you're in a patient mood today.
    
    The first thing you'll notice upon entering is one of Sahasrahla's
    communication tablets.  The S-Man suggests procuring some Medicine of Magic
    before venturing further into the dungeon.  He makes a good point -- you'll be
    using a lot of Magic Power as you explore this dungeon, so it's a good idea,
    although not an absolute necessity, to go get some Green or Blue Medicine.
    
    When you're ready, walk due north to reach a dead end.  What's the weird
    question mark thing in the middle of the pit?  Pull out your Cane of Somaria
    and give it a swing to create a magical platform.  Step onto it and ride it to
    the other side of the pit.  Pretty cool, huh?  Head north through the door on
    the far side to reach a cavernous chamber in with a number of exits.  To
    navigate this room, you'll again need to use the Cane of Somaria.
    
    Before we head anywhere in particular, why not take some time to get used to
    using the Cane of Somaria-created platform.  When the track comes to a
    crossroad, hold the direction you want to move in and you'll do so -- for
    instance, if the track is heading left but there's a path that branches off to
    the north, hold up and your platform will change direction.  It's impossible to
    fall off the platform while it's moving, even if you get attacked by an enemy.
    In that case, you can still use your sword to fend off airborne enemies.  And
    finally, you can only disembark the Somaria-created platform when it stops at
    a question mark station.  Got all that?
    
    Okay, let's get started, then.  From the entrance to this room, use the Cane of
    Somaria to travel westward.  Get off at the first question mark station and
    exit south through the open doorway.  The Compass is inside at chest at the end
    of this room, but watch out for the fireball-spitting torches stationed nearby.
    Also, leaving this room is a bit tricky because the door through which we
    entered is guarded by a laser eye.  If you are facing the doorway, the eye will
    unleash an interminable barrage of lasers.  How do we escape, then?  Simple --
    face southward and charge up the sword as if you were going to use the whirling
    blade technique.  This way, you can move north even though you're facing south.
    
    Back in the previous room, use the Somaria platform again to circulate the
    room, traveling west past a few platforms which contain nothing but skull pots.
    There's a locked door in the upper left-hand corner of the room, but as we
    don't have a Key yet there's no point checking it out at this point.  Instead,
    move east.  There are two doorways in the northeastern corner of the room --
    stop at the one on the eastern wall and head through.
    
    Alright, now this part is both tricky and frustrating as balls.  Allow me to
    explain in more detail:  the door on the northern wall is sealed, and the only
    way to open it is to light all four torches in this room.  I realize that this
    doesn't sound difficult in theory, but when you factor in that you have to use
    the Somaria platform to reach said torches and still get back to the door
    before the flames go out, things become a bit harder.  Here's my advice:  get
    on the Somaria platform and head south, then east, then north.  When you get to
    the little cul-de-sac, equip your Fire Rod.  As you pass the first set of
    torches, quickly light both (it's not easy, but if you turn quickly enough it's
    possible).  Do the same for the second set of torches, then let the platform
    take you back to the question mark platform.  It'll probably take a few tries,
    but once you get the strategy down it'll just be a matter of time before you
    achieve success.
    
    In the next room, there's a giant rolling pin (like the one a chef might use to
    make bread, except that this one is covered in deadly spikes) rolling back and
    forth.  Slowly head north, hugging the walls when necessary to avoid getting
    crushed.  There's a second pin further ahead, this one moving horizontally.
    Get past it to find two treasure chests, in which you'll find the Map as well
    as a Key.  Cool, now regress through this room and the one before it to return
    to that first really big room with the Somaria platform track.
    
    So now that we've got a Key, head for the locked door (I know there's one other
    doorway that we haven't checked out yet, but hold your horses -- we'll look in
    there a bit later).  Unlock it and head through.  Whoa!  It's one of those
    bouncy cactus enemies from Super Mario World!  What's that all about?  Slash it
    to pieces, grab the Key it drops, deal with some slime enemies, and go north
    through the door.
    
    Wow, more enemies from Super Mario.  This time it's Chain Chomps, and they
    can't be destroyed no matter what you try.  Not only that, but these guys are
    *fast*, which means sneaking past them isn't going to be easy.  Here's how to
    do it:  equip the Boomerang and chuck it diagonally at either one of the two
    crystal orbs to the north.  With the orange blocks raised, you can make a dash
    for the southeastern corner.  The Chain Chomps can't reach you here, luckily.
    Now, see the five blocks to your immediate left?  Well, if you push the topmost
    block to the west, a chest will appear to the north.  Do so, then toss the
    Boomerang again to lower the orange blocks and raise the blue ones.  Run north,
    doing your best to avoid the Chain Chomps and collect the contents of the
    chest:  it's another Key, which is handy because the door that leads onward
    just happens to be locked.  Exit north.
    
    Head down the stairs.  To the east is a cache of skull pots which contain
    various assorted goodies -- after that encounter with the Chain Chomps, you
    might be needing some of them.  That done, head to the southeast corner of the
    room, where you'll find the entrance to a giant pipe.  Enter the pipe and
    you'll emerge on the other side in no time; grab the stuff from the skull pots
    and exit west.
    
    There are two more pipes here.  Take the one on the right and you'll end up
    next to another western doorway.  Go through it.  Avoid the roaming flames and
    head south, smack the colored orb to lower the blue blocks and continue south.
    This is where things get a little crazy:  in addition to the four roaming
    fireballs from before, there are flying skulls, one of those bouncing cactuses,
    a bunny-transformer, and a laser eye to deal with.  Do your best to deal with
    each obstacle on an individual basis, then use the Key that the cactus dropped
    to exit through the eastern door (you'll have to back into it again, otherwise
    the laser eye will blast you).
    
    You'll be back in the previous room.  Enter the pipe.  It'll spit you out next
    to a chest, so check it out to receive the Big Key (!!!), then head south
    through a second pipe.  Exit east, and you'll come face-to-face with yet
    another pipe.  It'll take you to a dead end -- this is the end of the line, so
    raid the skull pot and drop off the ledge.  Now, head for the southeastern
    corner and go through the pipe there (I know you've been through there already,
    but you'll understand in just a few seconds).  Exit west and you'll again be in
    front of two separate pipes; last time we took the right one, so go with the
    left one this time.  Exit south.
    
    Slay the two bouncy cactuses the open the two sealed doors in here, and
    whatever you do avoid the pot in the bottom-right corner.  When the doors are
    open, head south.  Now which way -- east or west?  Well, the eastern door leads
    to a dead end (albeit one with a nice view), so head west.  Wow, see all those
    lasers eyes on the northern wall?  Better be careful.  Two of them will shoot
    lasers no irrespective of what direction Link is facing, so it's best to simply
    hug the eastern wall, set a Bomb near the cracked wall, and exit south as
    quickly as possible.
    
    We're outside, but not for long.  Take a few steps to the east, then re-enter
    the dungeon.  There's the Big Chest!  Use the Cane of Somaria to bridge the
    gap, then open it up.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Mirror Shield.  This is it, the ultimate defensive tool in the
        game.  Almost as a big as Link himself, the Mirror Shield deflects any
        number of minor projectiles.  Most importantly, however, it reflects those
        lasers that the laser eyes have been shooting at you throughout this
        dungeon.  Effin' sweet.
    
      * DIGRESSION:  PIECE OF HEART.  Want to collect the final Piece of Heart?  Of
        course you do!  Return to that outside ledge, stand right in front of the
        eastern entrance to the dungeon and use the Magic Mirror.  There's another
        entrance to the mountainside in the Light World, so head in.  There are
        four cyclopses in here, and all four must be defeated in order to open the
        sealed door.  Thwack all of them, hammer the pegs into the ground, and move
        on.  There, inside that chest just ahead, is the twenty-fourth and final
        Piece of Heart in the game.  Take it, it's yours.
    
    Okay, back to the dungeon, then.  Head north through the doorway just above the
    Big Chest.  Dodge the rolling pins and open the northern door with the Big Key.
    Go through the pipe, then exit north.  Slay a bouncy cactus, then Bomb both
    the eastern and northern walls.  Go east, defeat the slime enemies, then slide
    the upper of the two blocks aside.  Tug on the left statue's tongue to open the
    closed door, then go through.  Whoa!  Rupees galore!  Do your best to dodge
    the various rolling pins and collect your fortune.  Once you've pillaged all
    the Rupees, go back two rooms and head north through the other wall that you
    Bombed.
    
    There should be no trouble getting to the north side of the rolling pin in
    this room, but unfortunately the door is locked.  Stand in between the two
    sets of orange blocks and toss something at the crystal orb, grab the Key from
    the chest, hit the orb again and leave.  Hopefully you won't have taken any
    damage from the killer rolling pin.
    
    So it's dark in here, and we're using the Cane of Somaria again.  There are a
    number of platforms scattered around this room, but only one exit door.  That
    door, of course, is sealed, so first we'll have to find a switch.  The switch
    is located beneath a skull pot on a platform in the center of the room.
    Getting to this particular platform is made more difficult by the rotating
    columns of flame that are ubiquitous in this room.  Once you've reached the
    platform, hit the switch, then head for the exit in the southwest part of the
    room.  Move on.
    
    The path southward is very narrow, and the laser eyes embedded in the walls
    will be blasting you like crazy.  Knock the bug enemy out of the way as you
    head south, ignore the locked door on the western wall and head south instead.
    Defeat the shelled enemy, check each of the chests to score some Rupees as well
    as the Key we need for the previous room, then return there and unlock the
    door.
    
    Okay, now this part can be a bit tricky.  Essentially, the exit to this room is
    located to the north.  To get there, you'll have to hit various crystal orbs
    to raise and lower the barriers.  This room is really a lot bigger than it
    needs to be, and there are enough orbs that you don't have to worry about
    getting stuck.  When you can't go any further, hit the nearest orb and
    progress.  When you reach the top, head down the stairs.
    
    Smash two pots to find some goodies, then use the Cane of Somaria to go north,
    where you'll find the final door in this dungeon.
    
                              - Boss:  CERBERUS TURTLE -
        This Boss has three heads, but for the immediate future you only have
        to worry about two of them.  The blue head spits ice (which then
        remains on the ground, making your movement more difficult) while the
        red one breathes fire.  Their weaknesses, therefore, should be pretty
        apparent:  use the Fire Rod to toast the blue head and target the red
        head with the Ice Rod.  Once either head has been hit, quickly lash
        out at it with your sword.  These heads don't have too much stamina,
        so it shouldn't take more than a few hits to destroy each one.
        Although you can't damage the third head just yet, it can damage you,
        so keep an eye out for its lunge attack.
    
        When both colored heads have been destroyed, the shell will disappear
        and the third head will begin to slither around the room.  Only the
        differently colored section of its body is vulnerable, so circle around
        it and slash it with your sword.  It won't last much longer than either
        of the previous two heads -- just a few slashes will be enough to
        finish this fight off.
    
    At last, the seventh Crystal is yours!  All of the maidens have been saved,
    which means there's just one last thing to do:  track down Ganon and kick his
    piggy butt.  At this point, there are no sidequests left to do -- if you're
    missing any items or Pieces of Heart, either look back through the walkthrough
    or skip ahead to the corresponding section in the appendices.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       m.  SNICKER AT THE SWINE                                  [Ganon's Tower]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    So here we are, guys.  Ganon's Tower is the final dungeon and, as a result, it
    is the longest, most confusing, and most difficult dungeon in the game.  Thus,
    it's important to make sure that you're properly prepared.  Fill your four
    bottles with Blue Potion, collect each and every Piece of Heart, et cetera.
    It's always better to be overprepared then underprepared, right?  When you feel
    like you're ready, head west from Turtle Rock, across the rope bridge toward
    where the Mountain Tower is located in the Light World.
    
    And there it is, pulsating with evil energy -- Ganon's Tower.  Approach it and
    Link will use the combined power of the seven Crystals to break the seal around
    the tower.  Climb the stairs and head inside.
    
     == GANON'S TOWER ===============================
    
    If didn't believe me when I told you before that Ganon's Tower is the biggest
    dungeon yet, let this foyer be proof of it.  Immediately you're given three
    options:  down the stairs in the northwest corner, up the stairs due north of
    the entrance, or down the stairs in the top-right corner.  Let's start with the
    stairs in the top-left corner.  Defeat a pair of skeletons, then ram into the
    right torch with the Pegasus Shoes to jar that Key loose.  It may be tempting,
    but don't use it to unlock the door on the eastern wall.  In fact, ignore that
    door altogether and exit through the door on the left instead.
    
    Immediately inspect the skull pot to the south to acquire another Key, then
    pound the four bouncy pink pegs into the ground with the Hammer.  The door to
    the left is still locked, so push the centermost block in any direction to
    open the door.  Be sure to step on the star panel that was concealed beneath
    the block to move those black pits of doom, then exit to the west.  Equip the
    Hookshot and use the block on the platform to the west to jump the gap.  Do the
    same thing to reach the northernmost platform, then exit through the open
    doorway.
    
    Here's a room filled with skeletons, flamethrowers, and treasure chests.  Kill
    the skeletons, raid the chests for some Rupees, Bombs, and Arrows, then return
    to the previous room.  Use the blocks and pots and Hookshot your way across
    several platforms.  When you arrive at the southernmost area, defeat the lone
    skeleton and open the adjacent door with one of your Keys.  Head through.
    Okay, now this is tricky.  There's a treasure chest, but two separate rotating
    columns of flame make getting anywhere near it quite a chore.  The best way to
    get the chest without taking any damage is to use the Cane of Byrna.  After
    grabbing the Map from the chest, return to the previous room.
    
    Smack the crystal orb to lower the blue blocks and go south, but don't go
    through the door just yet.  Set a Bomb next to the crystal orb, then walk to
    the southern side of the blue blocks.  When the Bomb explodes, the blue blocks
    will rise, trapping you on the southern side.  Go through the door to find that
    the orange blocks, which would previously have blocked your path, have receded
    into the ground.  It's a similar situation in this room:  set a Bomb next to
    the crystal orbs, then hustle to the other side of the orange blocks.  When the
    Bomb detonates, you'll be able to access the locked door.  Make sure you check
    the pot in the bottom right-hand corner to find a Key, then open the door and
    go through.
    
    This doesn't look like fun -- a veritable cascade of spike traps are held back
    by the raised orange blocks, but you know what you're going to have to do.  Hit
    the crystal orb to lower the orange blocks, setting the spike blocks free.
    Carefully make your way to the other side of the room and step onto the swirly
    warp tile.  You'll appear in a small labyrinth, patrolled by those snaking fire
    baddies.  Carefully move west, but you'll soon notice that the western edge of
    the room is a black pit.  There's nothing on the other side to Hookshot onto,
    so what do we do?  Well, look at the rows of blocks that make up this mini
    maze.  Do you see the solitary block in the middle row?  Push it to the left to
    reveal a chest on the other side of the pit.  Hookshot to it, open it to find a
    Key, then head south through the locked door.
    
    To get through this next area, you'll be utilizing a number of those swirly
    warp tiles.  Step onto the one on the right and you'll warp to a different
    room.  Again, there are two active tiles to choose from -- go with the one on
    the left this time.  You're back in the first room again, except this time you
    are on the other side of the barrier.  Find the warp tile in the bottom left
    corner of the room and step onto it.  Now simply walk eastward, knocking the
    two shelled enemies into the black pits as you go.  There's another warp tile
    to the immediate northeast of the pits, so step into it.  Grab the Arrows from
    underneath the nearby pot, then step into the only available warp.  Okay, now
    you're on the far side of that previous room.  Walk through the doorway to the
    east and we're done with these confounded warp tiles.
    
    If you thought that last area was tricky, get a load of this.  Follow the
    walkway northward, defeating the shelled enemies along the way, but don't go
    through the doorway up here.  Instead, look to the east.  Do you see the unlit
    torch over there?  That must be a clue, right?  Well, illuminate it with the
    Fire Rod and the light will reveal an invisible bridge that you can follow to
    access that northeastern platform.  Using the Ether Medallion also reveals the
    bridge, but only temporarily, so lighting the lamp is your best bet.  Once
    you've done that, hurry along the bridge, because it will become invisible
    again as soon as the torch goes out.  From you reach the northeastern platform,
    head through the door.
    
    This room looks like a dead end, but it's not.  Grab the Bombs and Arrows from
    the pots and chest, then plant a Bomb on the cracked floor in the southeast
    corner.  Fall through the hole.
    
                          - Boss:  BOUNCY KNIGHTS ROUND II -
        You remember these guys, they were the first real boss in the game.
        Numbering six in all, the Bouncy Knights take up a fair amount of the
        room, which doesn't leave us with much space in which to maneuver.  To
        make things worse, the floor is covered in a sheen of ice, which makes
        it quite difficult to dodge these guys.  As soon as they begin to move,
        single out one of the six Knights and plunk him with a Silver Arrow.
        One shot is all it takes to do the trick.  Do the same thing with the
        next four Knights.  When only one remains, he'll turn red and try to
        crush you from above.  Just stay on the move, charge up your sword, and
        let loose with the whirling blade technique whenever the Knight is
        hovering just above you.  A few hits and this one is over with.
    
    When they've been defeated, the northern and western doors will slide open.  Go
    north to find a triad of treasure chests (check out my alliterative skills).
    They contain some Bombs, Arrows, and, most importantly, the Big Key.  Return to
    the icy previous room and head west this time.  Before you head up the stairs
    in the top corner, smash into the cracked northern wall to discover a quartet
    of Fairies.  Heal up, or stash some in them in your bottles if need be, then
    return to the room before and go up the stairs.
    
    Hey, it's the Big Chest!  At first, you appear to be trapped in the corner, but
    slide the easternmost block to the right and you're home free.  Open the chest.
    
      * NEW ITEM!  Red Mail.  Remember the Blue Mail that you found in the Ice
        Palace?  Well, this is like that, except even better.  This is by far the
        most protective garment available in the game, so it's a shame that you
        only get it so late on.
    
    Ignoring the southern door, head north.  This room should look familiar.  Just
    like last time, don't pay any attention to the locked eastern door.  Instead,
    head north up the stairs to return to the foyer.  This time, climb the stairs
    in the center and head north up the stairs.  This room is kind of pain, but
    we'll get through it, so don't worry.  Start off by whacking the nearby crystal
    orb to lower the blue blocks.  Once you've done that, you can head southwest
    around the spikes to find the exit.  The problem, of course, is that the exit
    door is sealed.  There are two blocks set against the western wall -- to open
    the door, you'll have to push the northernmost one.  Hit the orbs accordingly
    to get over there, push the block, then return to the door and head south
    through it.
    
    The exit in the next room is again sealed, and this time you'll have to defeat
    the two enemies in the room to open it.  You should remember these guys from
    the Dark Palace.  They're movements mirror Links, and if you look directly at
    them they'll spit fire in their face.  So equip your Bow, shoot an Arrow in
    their general direction, then move Link in the opposite direction so that the
    baddie walks right into the oncoming Arrow.  When they're both gone, the door
    will open.  Kill another two while avoiding the laser statues to progress
    through the following room.
    
    Walk north through an empty corridor and unlock the door with the Big Key.
    We're almost to the end, can you feel it?  Descend the stairs directly ahead of
    you, dodge the spike blocks and hit either one of the crystal orbs to lower the
    orange barriers.  Check the pots ahead to find a switch that will open the door
    on the upper level.  Once you've activated the switch, return to the top and
    head through the door in the top-right corner.  The following corridor appears
    empty at first, but it's not.  As soon as you start walking eastward, cannons
    will begin shooting at you from both sides.  You can't just speed through with
    the Pegasus Shoes, so try to be slow and methodical.  Climb the stairs on the
    other side.
    
    There's an assortment of enemies in this room:  two skeletons, a red lizardman
    and a blue one, all waiting for you on a conveyor belt.  Defeat all four
    baddies to open the door.  It's the same deal in the next room -- kill some
    skeletons to open the door, then head south through it.  The room after that is
    the exact same thing (although the presence of spikes and two laser statues
    complicates things just a touch) -- destroy the lizardmen and go south.  As you
    may have guessed, the next room also follows the same formula.  This time there
    are icy patches on the floor, but your task is the same -- clear out the
    enemies and move on.  The next room is entirely icy, but that shouldn't stop
    you from killing two more baddies before heading through the door.
    
    Okay, we're done with that.  Avoid the bunny-transformer in the otherwise-empty
    next room and head west.  All of sudden, it looks like we're in the desert.
    You know what's coming, don't you?
    
                       - Boss:  REALLY-BIG WORMS x3 ROUND II -
        You know how this works.  The three worms will emerge from the sand at
        varying times and in varying locations, each time showering you with
        damage-inducing rocks.  It's your task to slash the heck of them when
        they get anywhere near you.  With the Golden Sword in hand, that
        shouldn't take too long.  It's worth noting that there is a fireball-
        spitting statue in the bottom left corner of the room, but aside from
        that there's nothing new about fighting these guys.
    
    Once they've been defeated, head north.  Grab some goodies from the pots, then
    continue north once again.  It may not look like there's anywhere to go in the
    next room, but use the Ether Medallion to reveal another one of those pesky
    invisible bridges.  Just getting to the other side of the room isn't enough,
    though -- you also have to defeat the three wizards in this room.  Using the
    Ether Medallion should do that, just be sure to use it when they're visible,
    as they can't be damaged when they're invisible.
    
    There's another assortment of enemies to deal with in the next room, namely
    soldiers and laser eyes.  Dash past them and exit north.  The following room
    forces you to deal with more wizards -- kill them all to open the door, then
    move on.  Follow the catwalk due north to run into four soldiers.  Continue
    along the path and exit east once you've defeated them all.  There are four
    unlit torches and a sealed door in this next room, so your task should be
    obvious:  light all four torches and get to the door before any of them go out.
    It's best to start at the top and move southward, obviously.  It may take a few
    tries, but you'll get it eventually.  Walk up the stairs in the next room.
    
    Now this is a bit tough.  Again you have to light four torches, but this time
    to floor around you will crumble.  If you fall into the pit, you'll land in the
    room below, meaning that you'll have to try again.  I suggest immediately
    lighting the southernmost two torches, then getting the top two as you head for
    the door.  In the next room, grab the goodies from the chests and kill the two
    hard-headed baddies to win a Key, which will open the western door.  Go
    through.  The next part is also a bit tricky, because you have to blow up a
    cracked wall all the while dealing with a conveyor belt, a spike block, and a
    giant spiked baddie.  Set your Bomb to the east side of the cracked wall, and
    hopefully the conveyor belt will carry it to the crack just in time for it to
    explode.  Head south.
    
    Use the crystal orb to lower the blue blocks and get the Key from the chest in
    the center, then exit south.
    
                          - Boss:  SUPER BIG WORM ROUND II -
        Well, you knew it was coming, didn't you?  As with the first time we
        fought this guy, the chief trouble isn't the damage that he can inflict
        upon you, but rather the simple fact that he can knock you off the
        ledge, forcing you to work your way back here and start from square
        one.  Here's the good news:  with your totally awesome Golden Sword,
        two slashes to his tail will bring this battle to a close.  It's also a
        much bigger battle arena than the first time around, so there's plenty
        of room to maneuver.
    
    When the battle is over, it looks like there's nothing to do but fall off the
    edge -- DON'T DO THIS.  Instead, walk over to the southeast corner of the arena
    and look south.  See the treasure chest there?  Hookshot over to it.  Grab the
    Red Rupee inside, then take the stairs.  There are some blocks in your way, but
    simply slide them all to the left and you'll be able to squeeze past, no
    problem.  There's one last room of spikes, ice, conveyor belts, and enemies to
    deal with, and then we're at the end of Ganon's Tower.  Open the final Boss
    Door of the game to meet the master of Ganon's Tower.
    
                                 - Boss:  AGAHNIM -
        Oddly enough, the master of Ganon's Tower is not Ganon but Agahnim.
        This is good news for us, however, because Agahnim has hardly learned
        any new tricks since the last time we fought him.  The only difference
        between this battle and the first one with Agahnim is that there are
        now two shadow copies of Agahnim.  They can damage you, but you can't
        damage them.  This complicates things a bit -- this battle can be
        pretty chaotic at times -- but the basic strategy is the same as
        before.  Charge up Link's sword and knock Agahnim's energy balls back
        at him.
    
        The difficult thing is not deflecting his energy balls, but rather
        figuring out which Agahnim is the real one.  If you look closely, there
        is a notable difference between the real McCoy and the fake ones -- the
        real one has a darker shadow, while the other two are almost
        translucent.  Something else to take note of is that, while you can't
        damage the fake Agahnims, you *can* deflect their energy balls toward
        the real, causing him damage.  Hit him about ten times and this battle
        is done.
    
    With Agahnim defeated once and for all, the true villain appears.  Ganon shows
    his ugly face for just a moment, before fleeing to the Pyramid of Power.  He's
    waiting for you there, so feel free to enter the Pyramid and confront him
    whenever you feel ready.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
       n.  NO WORLD FOR TOMORROW                            [The Final Showdown]
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
      * Note:  An alternate title for this chapter is "The Final Countdown" -- I
        couldn't decide which one to opt for, so I'll let you guys choose.  Not
        that you give a crap, but whateva.
    
    Okay, this is it, for real.  This is your last chance.  Once you drop into the
    gaping hole atop the Pyramid of Power, there's absolutely no going back.  So,
    any loose ends that there might be need to be taken care of now or never.
    Check the appendices below to see what you may have missed.  Make sure you've
    got four bottles full of Blue Potion.  All that kind of stuff.  Okay, then.
    Are you ready?  No?  Okay, deep breaths, nice and slow, that's it.  Ready now?
    Yep, let's go.
    
                                   - Boss:  GANON -
        This is the final battle of the game, and it's something of a marathon,
        so I hope that you're properly prepared.  From the beginning, it's a
        fairly straightforward fight.  As Ganon tosses his trident like a
        boomerang, you should close in and go crazy on him with the sword.  He
        will teleport around the room in an attempt to stay away from you, so
        close him down.  Early on in the battle, I highly recommend placing a
        higher priority on defense than offense, however.  It's more important
        to avoid his attacks than to get in your own, because later on you
        don't want to have to worry about running out of Hearts.
    
        Pretty soon, Ganon will introduce a new element to the fray:  fireballs.
        This circle around him, forming a sort of protective barrier, but he
        also shoots them outward.  This is your cue to close in and attack --
        you'll almost certainly take some damage from the fireballs as you do
        so, but there's really no way to avoid this.  Just do your best to get
        as many sword slashes on target as possible.  In addition to having
        his fireballs circle around him like a shield, Ganon will also shoot
        them at you, almost like homing missiles.  Stay on the move to evade
        them.
    
        His next gambit is a floor-shaking attack that causes the edges of the
        floor to collapse.  Whatever you do, don't fall in -- doing so brings
        you deeper in the Pyramid of Power.  When you get back outside, you'll
        have to start the battle all over again from the beginning.  So, like,
        be careful.  Once all four sides of the arena have collapsed, Ganon
        will start using what he refers to as his "technique of Darkness" --
        basically the lights go out and he becomes invisible.  Obviously, you
        can't hurt him if you can't see him, so light the two torches with the
        Fire Rod.
    
        He'll resort to teleporting around the room, which makes it difficult
        to pin him down, but when you get a chance whack him with the sword.
        He'll temporarily turn grey -- this is your chance to put the nail in
        his coffin with a Silver Arrow.  Repeat these steps a few times --
        light the torches, hit him with the sword, then shoot him with a Silver
        Arrow -- and the game is won.
    
    Congratulations!  You've just completed The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the
    Past, which is, in my humble opinion, the best Zelda game of all time (yes,
    better than Ocarina of Time).  Whoo!  Ce-le-brate good times, c'mon!  Enjoy
    the ending!
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         V. ---------------------------------------------------------- SECRETS
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
    
    The world of Hyrule is rife with mysterious caverns, secret hideaways, Fairy
    Fountains and other oddities that are worth checking out.  Unearthing these
    secrets is often beneficial -- want to carry more Bombs or Arrows?  Keep
    reading! -- and often fun (or at the very least slightly amusing), so it's
    totally worth your time to look into the following things en route to
    completing your ultimate quest.  Ya heard?
    
    ==============
    BOMBABLE WALLS
    ==============
    
    There are two kinds of cracked walls in Zelda:  real ones and fakes ones.
    Fortunately, there is a way to differentiate between the two without needlessly
    wasting your Bomb supply.  Press B to raise Link's sword, then walk into a
    cracked wall -- this will prompt Link to tap his sword against the wall, making
    a sound.  If it makes a nice, clinky "tink tink" kind sound, then the wall can
    be blown open.  Set a Bomb and claim the spoils within!  But if the sound is
    kind of dull -- more of a bland "tok tok" sound -- then the wall can't be
    blown open.  So don't waste your Bombs.  Moral of the story:  "tink tink" good,
    "tok tok" bad.
    
    ==============
    FUN WITH TREES
    ==============
    
    In the real world, trees are boring.  Sure, they're nice to look at or climb in
    from time to time, but aside from that -- yawn!  Luckily for us, Hyrulian trees
    are a bit more interesting.  In fact, depending on the tree in question, there
    are a number of possible interesting things to check out.  For instance:
    
      * After you acquire the Pegasus Shoes, trying dashing into trees.  Sometimes
        you'll knock something loose from its branches -- it could be Rupees, a
        Fairy, apples, or a hive of Bees.
    
      * Some of the trees in the Dark World will talk to you (what?).  Approach
        them like you would a person or sign and press A to talk.  Some are
        friendly and will give you advice; others aren't so friendly and spit Bombs
        at you.
    
      * Reader Dane Petrali points out one particularly useful tree:  "When
        standing at the bottom of the steps of the Pyramid of Power, there's a tree
        to the southwest of the steps - you can run into this tree, and every time
        you do a Fairy pops out, and you can capture it.  This fairy tree became
        very useful to me at points in the game.  For instance, I was having a
        really tough time in the Ice Palace, and I had to leave the dungeon
        completely, and go buy some blue stuff (to fill up the bottles).  I
        realized I could go to this tree, slam into it, capture a fairy, then run
        east to the next part of the map, then just go right back in to fill up the
        bottles with Fairies.  Takes about one minute to fill up the bottles here,
        it saves money on that blue crap, and was a great asset in helping me beat
        the game."  The man makes a good point - why pay Rupees out the @$$ to buy
        Potions when you can get Fairies for free?  Thanks for the tip, Dane!
    
    ========================
    THE WATERFALL OF WISHING
    ========================
    
    In the northeastern corner of the Light World, in the wetlands near the Zoras'
    domain, there's a waterfall.  If you go to where the wetlands begin (just on
    the other side of the river area), there is a waterfall in the northwest corner
    of the screen.  Swim into it to discover the fabled Waterfall of Wishing
    (believe me, just because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean it isn't
    fabled).
    
    Choose to throw in your Boomerang and a Fairy will appear.  Be a man and tell
    her the truth ("Yes") when she asks if you threw it in and she'll repay you for
    your honesty.  Not only will she give you back your Boomerang, but she'll
    improve it just for good measure -- the regular Boomerang becomes the Magical
    Boomerang!  Mm-hmm.  Do the same thing with your shield to receive the new-and-
    improved Red Shield.
    
    =================
    POND OF HAPPINESS
    =================
    
    In the middle of Lake Hylia, there's an island, and on that island is a cave.
    Enter the cave to find the so-called Pond of Happiness.  Approach the pond and
    you'll be prompted to toss some Rupees into the pond.  At first, it may not
    seem like you get anything for doing this, but the truth is that for ever 100
    Rupees that you toss into the pond you'll receive an additional five Arrows or
    Bombs (meaning you'll be able to carry five more).  You can do this until
    you've got a maximum capacity of 70 Arrows and 50 Bombs.  It takes a lot of
    Rupees (more than you can spend in one go), but it's definitely worth it given
    how important both of those items are throughout the game.
    
    ====================================
    HALVING YOUR MAGIC POWER CONSUMPTION
    ====================================
    
    Warp to the Light World and head to the Blacksmith's Shop (one screen east from
    Kakariko Village).  There's a wooden peg just outside the Blacksmith's house --
    hammer it into the ground.  Hop off the ledge into the black pit below, then
    choose the northern door.  Inside is an altar of sorts.  Sprinkle some Magic
    Powder onto it and a surprisingly respectful and polite bat will appear.  He's
    a bit peeved that you woke him up, so he'll exact his revenge by cutting your
    Magic Meter in half.  This doesn't make your magic weaker -- what it really
    does is lessen the amount of Magic consumed when you use a magic item like
    Ether or the Ice Rod.
    
    =============
    LITTLE THINGS
    =============
    
    These are just little things (hence the title "Little Things") that aren't
    particularly lucrative, but are fun to check out or mess around with from time
    to time.
    
      * Pissing off chickens.  In the southern half of Kakariko Village, there are
        a couple of chickens doing their chicken thing.  Well, if you hit one of
        them with your sword, it'll cluck, and if you hit it repeatedly it will
        eventually summon a swarm of chickens to incur their chicken wrath upon
        you.  Duck inside and they'll go away.  Definitely one of the best aspects
        of this game, no joke.
    
      * Uses for the Magic Powder.  The Magic Powder is more useful than you
        probably realize -- try sprinkling it onto one of those roaming flame
        enemies that seem to be in just about every dungeon and it'll transform
        into a Fairy.
    
      * You know the building in the field south of Link's house, right?  The one
        you had to drain in order to get through the Swamp Palace?  Well, when you
        drain the water, you might notice that there's a fish flopping around in
        the shallow water.  Pick it up and take it to the dude in Kakariko Village
        who sold you your first Magic Bottle.  Throw the fish at him and he'll
        reward you with some assorted goodies (Rupees, Bombs, etc).
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         VI. ----------------------------------- WEAPONS, ITEMS, AND EQUIPMENT
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
    
    One of the most fun parts of any Zelda game is discovering and utilizing new
    pieces of equipment.  As you acquire new items, new areas in Hyrule will become
    open for exploration.  Compiled below is a list of everything -- swords,
    shields, armor, items, et cetera -- that you'll find during the course of your
    quest, plus their locations.  You're welcome.  (Yeah, I'm a butthole).
    
    ======
    SWORDS
    ======
    
    Link's normal mode of attack is the simple sword slash, which, without a sword,
    would be kinda hard to do.  Here are the various blades that you can obtain.
    
      * Normal Sword:  Link's Uncle entrusts him with this most basic of swords as
        you infiltrate Hyrule Castle at the beginning of the game.  It's nothing to
        write home about, but it gets the job done until you can get something
        better.
    
      * Master Sword:  Once you've conquered the first three dungeons and found the
        Pendants within, your itinerary becomes the Lost Woods, where the Master
        Swords is.  It's located in a grove in the northwestern corner of the
        forest.  Not only is this sword more powerful than Link's first blade
        (fewer swipes to kill off baddies), but it can also blast weak (but cool)
        laser beams when Link is at full health.  You need the Master Sword in
        order to breach Agahnim's lair in Hyrule Castle.
    
      * Tempered Sword:  After obtaining Titan's Mitt (find it in Thieves' Town),
        you can rescue the Blacksmith's brother.  As a reward for your heroism,
        they'll temper your Master Sword, making it even more powerful.  Talk to
        the Blacksmith (just east of Kakariko Village) in the Light World and he'll
        ask you to find his brother.  Return to the Dark World and find the weird
        frog-man in the area just south of the Village of Outcasts.  With him
        following you, warp back to the Light World and reunite him with his
        brother.  They'll make good on their promise to temper your sword, which is
        now significantly more powerful than the regular Master Sword.
    
      * Golden Sword:  The Golden Sword is the best the game has to offer (hence
        "Golden").  After completing Misery Mire, swing by the Bomb Shop to find
        that there is a Super Bomb for sale.  Purchase it for 100 Rupees, then
        make your way north toward the Pyramid of Power (you can't dash or jump off
        ledges with the Super Bomb, so take your time and go slowly).  Use the Bomb
        to detonate the cracked wall on the side of the Pyramid and go inside to
        find a fountain.  Toss in your sword, reply "Yes" when prompted, and you'll
        acquire the totally awesome Golden Sword.
    
    =======
    SHIELDS
    =======
    
    Shields are Link's best form of defense against projectile-vomiting baddies.
    Not that these enemies projectile vomit, but they do vomit projectiles, if you
    know what I'm saying (and I'm sure nobody does).  In any event, if you have a
    shield in your hands, certain projectiles will automatically be deflected.
    
    It's worth noting, as well, that there are certain enemies that can eat your
    shield.  Should this most unpleasant of events occur, hack crazily at the foe
    -- if you're quick enough, you can win your shield back.  If not, you'll have
    to buy a new one.  Annoying, I know.
    
      * Normal Shield:  Link's trusty first shield is one half of the butt-kicking
        combination entrusted to him by his Uncle at the outset of the game.  It
        blocks any oncoming stones or arrows, but nothing more advanced than that.
        Nothing too special about it, but it's sufficient until you can find
        something better.
    
      * Red Shield:  This shield blocks everything that the original one does, plus
        fireballs.  It also looks cooler.  You can obtain it by chucking the Normal
        Shield into the Waterfall of Wishing, or you can purchase it at a shop in
        the Dark World for, like, a crap-ton of Rupees.  I'll let you decide how
        you want to go about getting it.
    
      * Mirror Shield:  This is the ultimate defensive tool -- a shield almost as
        big as Link himself.  It can deflect any number of projectile attacks, most
        notably the lasers shot from those laser eyes that seem to be ubiquitous in
        the last few dungeons in the game.  The Mirror Shield is found inside the
        Big Chest in Turtle Rock.
    
    =====
    ARMOR
    =====
    
    Armor is Link's most basic form of defense.  Without it, he'd be naked (and I
    think we can all agree that no one wants to see that).  You're stuck with
    Link's default costume for the bulk of the game, but in the later dungeons you
    will come across some better, snazzier outerwear.
    
      * Green Mail:  This is Link's default garb -- as such, it offer little to no
        protection.  It also makes him look like one of those Keebler elves (who
        make delicious cookies, but you wouldn't want one of them being responsible
        for saving the world, would you?).  You'd better get used to it, though,
        because it's the only option for the bulk of the game.
    
      * Blue Mail:  This cool costume is found in the Ice Palace.  Given that it
        cuts the damage that Link takes in half, it's a significant improvement
        over the Green Mail that you're forced to wear for the majority of the
        game.  The only drawback is that you find it so late in the game that it's
        almost obsolete (almost).
    
      * Red Mail:  Why is it called the Red Mail?  Because it's red, butthole.
        ("Because he dodges bullets, Avi!")  Digressions aside, the Red Mail is the
        ultimate piece of armor available in the entirety of the game.  It reduces
        the damage that Link takes even more significantly than the Blue Mail,
        which makes it very useful to have in the final battle.  It's found inside
        the Big Chest in Ganon's Tower.
    
    =================
    WEAPONS AND ITEMS
    =================
    
    These are the more fun pieces of equipment.  You can equip them one at a time,
    then try them out by pressing the A button.  Some are weapons, some are
    auxiliary items, some are just good for making Link look even more like a
    fairy (Bug-Catching Net?  Holla!), but they all have some use.
    
      * Lamp.  It's not much use as a stand-alone item, but whenever there are
        torches around the Lamp can be used to great effect to illuminate your
        surroundings.  This really comes in handy when you need to shed some light
        on dark caves or chambers, as we'll see seen enough.  Be careful with it,
        though -- using the Lamp consumes magic power, so you'll want to keep an
        eye on that green meter in the upper right-hand corner of the screen.  It's
        the first item you get in the game, found in a chest inside Link's house.
    
      * Boomerang.  This is one of the best weapons early on in the game -- not
        only can it be utilized to stun most enemies (or better yet, it actually
        damages weaker foes), but it can also retrieve far off items.  What's
        that?  There's a far-off Rupee that you can't physically reach with Link?
        No problem, use your Boomerang to grab it!  You'll find it in a chest as
        you infiltrate Hyrule Castle at the outset of the game.
    
      * Magic Bottles.  The Magic Bottles -- there are four in all -- are absolute
        godsends.  Finding and using these Bottles will make your life
        exponentially easier.  Fill it up with healing potions, or once you get the
        Net, you can catch Fairies or bees to keep in it.  Very cool.  Here's where
        you can find them all:
    
          - 1:  In Kakariko Village, enter the pub from the north (there is a door
            that you can't see, just try to walk in from the north and you'll find
            it).  Check the treasure chest on the western wall to score the first
            Bottle.
    
          - 2:  This one is also found in Kakariko Village.  Talk to the vendor
            sitting on the carpet in the northwest quadrant of the village and
            he'll offer it to you for the not-so-low price of 100 Rupees.
    
          - 3:  After buying the Flippers, walk south from the East Palace, hugging
            the eastern wall.  You'll find a staircase from which you can drop into
            the water.  Swim northward back toward the Palace, and follow the river
            as it curves underneath a bridge.  Some dude is living under here!
            Talk to him to and he'll simply hand over the third Magic Bottle.
    
          - 4:  Inside the Dark World's version of the Blacksmith brothers' house
            is an odd treasure chest that Link can't open.  However, if you inspect
            it, it will follow you (how can it move when it doesn't even have legs?
            I have no idea).  Now, do you remember that weird old man who lived
            near the Desert of Mystery in the Light World?  No?  Well, there's this
            weird old man who lives near the Desert of Mystery in the Light World
            (he's sitting next to a sign one screen east of the Desert proper).
            Bring the chest to him and he'll open it for you, revealing the fourth
            and final Bottle.  Just make sure that you don't dash with the Pegasus
            Shoes while the chest is following you, otherwise you'll lose it.
    
      * Red Potion:  This is your basic recovery drink.  Drink it to fully restore
        Link's Hearts.  It's available in various shops throughout both the Light
        and Dark Worlds, usually for about 120 Rupees.
    
      * Green Potion:  Take a swig from this potion to fully restore Link's Magic
        Power.  The best place to find it is the Witch's Hut in northeastern
        Hyrule.
    
      * Blue Potion:  The ultimate healing medicine.  One sip of Blue Potion
        restores all of Link's Hearts and fills his Magic Power.  It costs 160
        Rupees at the Witch's Hut.
    
      * Bombs:  Mindlessly blowing stuff up is the pinnacle of video gaming fun,
        and that's precisely the kind of fun afforded by the Bombs.  Set one down
        next to a cracked wall, step back, and watch with glee as the explosion
        creates a Link-sized hole in the wall.  To start with, your capacity is a
        paltry 10 Bombs, but that number can be increased by donating Rupees to the
        fountain on the island in Lake Hylia (see the Secrets chapter for more info
        on that).  Bombs are ubiquitous across Hyrule, but you can find your first
        set at the shop in Kakariko Village.
    
      * Bug-Catching Net:  It isn't the manliest weapon (in fact, it isn't really a
        weapon at all), but it has its uses.  Namely, you can use the Bug-Catching
        Net to catch Fairies and bees, which can then be stashed in Bottles until
        you want to use them.  If you have a Bottled Fairy and you die, never fear
        -- the Fairy will automatically revive Link.  As for bees, trying catching
        one, then release it near an enemy.  Fun!  Talk to the sick kid in Kakariko
        Village to obtain it.
    
      * Magic Mushroom / Magic Powder:  The Magic Mushroom is found in the Lost
        Woods and, on its own, is quite useless.  However, bring it to the Witch's
        Magic Shop and she'll create a baggie of Magic Powder from the Mushroom.
        The Powder isn't much more effective than the Mushroom was, sadly, but it
        is quite fun to mess around with.  Sprinkling it on the various baddies
        around Hyrule prompts all kinds of results.
    
      * Ice Rod.  Much like the Lamp, this piece of weaponry requires magic power
        to use.  It can be used to attack and freeze enemies from a distance with
        icy magic.  I won't lie -- you probably won't use this very often (I
        don't), but it's always nice to have options.  It's located in an icy cave
        on the eastern shore of Lake Hylia (go south from Link's house, then move
        southeast and, after that, northeast to find your way there).  You'll find
        its complement, the aptly named Fire Rod, much later on.
    
      * Bow and Arrow:  Along with the Boomerang, this is one of the most useful
        and practical items early in the game.  It's a great way to attack enemies
        from a distance.  It works wonders against cyclops enemies in particular,
        and it is the most effective way to deal with the boss of the East Palace,
        the dungeon in which you find the Bow.  The initial arrow capacity is 30,
        but as is the case with the Bombs, you can increase that by visiting the
        fountain at Lake Hylia.  Furthermore, if you toss it into the fountain
        inside the Pyramid of Power (blow up the cracked wall with the Super Bomb
        to access it), you'll receive the Silver Arrows, which are a must for
        defeating the final boss.
    
      * Book of Mudora:  I know what you're thinking:  what the crap am I supposed
        to do with a book?  I don't do none of that book-readin' stuff!  Well, it's
        not particularly effective against baddies (in fact, it's not effective at
        all), but it is necessary to translate ancient writing.  To enter dungeons
        like the Desert Palace, you'll need it.  It can be found in the library
        south of Kakariko Village -- use the Pegasus Shoes to charge the shelf at
        the back and it will fall down.
    
      * Magical Boomerang:  This improved Boomerang has the same basic function as
        the old one, only it moves faster and further.  If only it sparkled or
        something -- that would be the *ultimate* in cool.  Oh wait, it does
        sparkle.  Hell yeah.  If you chuck the original Boomerang into the
        Waterfall of Wishing (hit up the Secrets chapter for more info on that) and
        reply "Yes" to the Fairy, she'll bestow you with this upgrade.
    
      * Ether Medallion:  This cool item is almost as magical as Robin van Persie's
        left foot (emphasis on the *almost* -- nothing is more magical than RVP's
        left foot, but as usual I digress).  Unfortunately, because it consumes
        magic power, this magical medallion isn't very practical.  When used,
        magical blasts of ice-cold wind will freeze all enemies on the screen.
        It's cool to play around with, but it isn't the most useful piece of
        weaponry.  To get it, find the epitaph to the west of the Mountain Tower
        and use the Book of Mudora to translate the writing.  You can only do this
        after you've acquired the Master Sword.
    
      * Quake Medallion:  As the second of three Magic Medallions in the game,
        Quake, predictably, generates a minor earthquake which affects all enemies
        in the vicinity.  It's a powerful tool if you're surrounded, but it eats
        your Magic Power faster than a fat kid eats a cupcake (which, if you have
        never witnessed a fat kid eating a cupcake, is *very* fast).  Because of
        this, it's hardly the most practical piece of weaponry.  Even so, it's fun
        to mess around with.  So, like, feel free to mess around with it.  You can
        find this medallion in the very northeastern corner of the Dark World.
        Toss something into the circle of rocks and promise to leave the creature
        that lives there alone to receive it.
    
      * Bombos Medallion:  This is the third and final of the three magic
        medallions.  It unleashes a series of explosions that decimates any foes
        unfortunate enough to be on the same screen as you.  To find it, get to the
        Dark World and enter the field south of the Bomb Shop and head southwest,
        like you're headed for the Light World's desert.  However, you'll find that
        there's no entrance to where the desert would be -- there's just a stone
        wall.  But there are a bunch of pegs in the ground.  I wonder what those
        are for?  Stand to the left of them and warp to the Light World.  Head left
        one screen to find a stone covered in scripture.  Use the Book of Mudora
        (and you thought you'd used that for the last time, didn't you?) to
        translate it and receive the Bombos Medallion.
    
      * Magic Hammer:  In addition to functioning as an effective weapon in its own
        right (this is the only weapon that works against the turtle baddies that
        run rampant in the Dark Palace, for example), the Magic Hammer is also
        essential to surmounting certain obstacles, namely pegs in the ground
        or weird whack-a-mole-esque obstacles that are scattered throughout the
        game.  Find it in the Dark Palace.
    
      * Hookshot:  Welcome to Awesomeville, population: You.  The Hookshot's
        function is twofold:  Firstly, it functions as a longer-range version of
        the Boomerang, stunning distant enemies or snagging otherwise out of reach
        goodies.  More importantly, however, is has the amazing ability to latch
        onto certain objects (pots, statues, et cetera) and pull Link toward them.
        This works even over chasms, gaps, or pits.  BOING!  You'll get this item
        while exploring the Swamp Palace.
    
      * Shovel:  Like any Shovel, the Shovel in this game is used for digging
        things up.  In the Dark World, enter the grove to the southeast of the
        Village of Outcasts.  Speak to the weird dude there and he'll give you his
        Shovel on the condition that you use it to find his Flute.
    
      * Flute:  After doing the steps outlined directly above, warp to the Light
        World and use the Shovel to dig in the same grove.  Sooner or later you'll
        unearth the Flute.  Return to the Dark World and play it for the dude
        there.  After that, it's yours.  With it in tow, return to Kakariko Village
        (Light World).  Stand in front of the weathervane (the stone bird in the
        middle of the village) and play it.  Doing so will free the bird trapped
        inside (what?), who repays your kindness by carrying you to various points
        in Hyrule anytime you play the Flute.
    
      * Fire Rod:  Did you ever wonder what the Ice Rod would be like if it shot
        fire instead of ice?  No?  Well, like it or not, that's exactly what the
        Fire Rod does.  The Fire Rod is essentially the Ice Rod's twin, except that
        instead of chilling baddies with icy blasts, it fries them with balls of
        fire.  It's a lot of fun to play with, but as always the caveat is that it
        eats up Link's Magic Power.  So, like, use it sparingly and stuff.  It is
        hidden in the Skull Woods.
    
      * Magic Cape:  This cool item is essentially the same thing as the
        Invisibility Cloak from Harry Potter, except that it drains your Magic
        Power like crazy (something HP never had to worry about).  To find it, get
        to the Dark World's equivalent of the graveyard (y'know, it's just east of
        where the Sanctuary would be).  Once you arrive, you'll notice a stack of
        five rocks surrounded by a fence in the top-right corner of the graveyard
        (you'll have to use the Pegasus Shoes to smash an identical pile near the
        entrance to the graveyard).  So, here's what you do:  Smash the pile of
        rocks in the top corner, then stand directly above where they once were and
        use the Magic Mirror to return to the Light World.  You'll be in a corner
        of the graveyard that's surrounded by black rocks -- rocks that, as of now,
        are too heavy to lift.  But that's not an issue, is it?  Circle around to
        the front of the headstone, crash into it with the Pegasus Shoes (maybe a
        bit disrespectful, but oh well) and head inside to claim the Magic Cape.
    
      * Cane of Byrna:  The Cane of Byrna creates a magical barrier around Link
        that protects him from any damage.  As you might expect, it also drains
        your Magic Power.  If you want to get it, start off by filling your Bottles
        with Red or Blue Potion, especially if you don't have the Magic Cape (see
        above for info on that).  Then, go to the Light World and climb up Death
        Mountain, climbing that long ladder as if you're headed toward the Mountain
        Tower.  Step onto the swirly blue warp tile (the same one we used the very
        first time we went to the Dark World -- nostalgia!).  Once you're in the
        Dark World, walk due south to find a small gap in the barrier.  Drop off
        the ledge here and you'll land on a small ledge below.  Go through the
        doorway.  The floor in this cave is covered in spikes, which means you need
        to either have the Magic Cape or be able to take a lot of damage without
        dying (hence the Potions).  With either method, smash the whack-a-mole
        things in with your Hammer and move as quickly as possible across the
        spikes.  Your reward at the end of the road is the Cane of Byrna.  Not
        really worth the trouble, honestly, but if you're a perfectionist you'll
        want to take the time to acquire this item.
    
      * Cane of Somaria:  The Cane of Somaria has a couple of functions, some more
        useful than others.  When you use it, Link will create a magical block --
        this can be pushed, lifted, and tossed just like any normal pot you might
        find.  After creating a block, hit the item button a second time to destroy
        it, sending beams of energy in four directions.  It's not the most useful
        weapon, but as a tool it'll come in handy, especially while exploring
        Misery Mire and Turtle Rock.  Find it in Misery Mire.
    
    ===============
    OTHER EQUIPMENT
    ===============
    
    These are more like equipment upgrades then actual items, as you don't equip
    them and they take effect automatically.
    
      * Pegasus Shoes:  Welcome back to Awesometown.  Talk to Sahasrahla after
        finishing the East Palace to score these new kicks, which make Link so fast
        that he could enter a race against Theo Walcott and Jacoby Ellsbury and
        still finish first.  Not only do they provide a quicker way to get around
        Hyrule, but when dashing Link holds his blade outward, meaning that any
        foe you might crash into will feel the pain.  Even better, some cracked
        walls can be broken if you dash into them.  Very useful.
    
      * Power Glove:  Wearing this glove, found in the Desert Palace, Link can lift
        up any and all white stones in Hyrule.  Black stones, however, are still
        too heavy, but in spite of that finding the Power Glove opens up a lot of
        Hyrule for exploration.
    
      * Zora's Flippers:  These guys will run you the muy grande sum of 500 Rupees
        at the Zora-infested wetlands in the northeast corner of the Light World,
        but it's well-worth splurging for them (which can be done as soon as you
        complete the Desert Palace) -- you'll have to buy them sooner or later no
        matter what.  Besides, isn't it ridiculously annoying when you jump into a
        pool of water and Link just magically warps back to the land after
        sustaining some damage?  Yeah, it is.
    
      * Moon Pearl:  Ostensibly, the Moon Pearl doesn't really do much -- at first.
        But after you win this item in the Mountain Tower, you'll find out that you
        can now enter into the scary Dark World without losing your normal form
        (e.g. no more Bunny Link!).  And as fun as it would be to conquer the Dark
        World as Bunny Link, it just isn't practical (or possible) to do so, making
        the Moon Pearl an absolute necessity.
    
      * Titan's Mitt:  This is a long-overdue upgrade for the Power Glove that you
        found way back in the Desert Palace.  I'm sure you've noticed black rocks
        in various locations throughout Hyrule -- rocks that were, frustratingly,
        too heavy for Link to lift, even with the Power Glove.  Well, be frustrated
        no longer!  Titan's Mitt grants Link the might he needs to lift any stone
        in the game.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
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         VII. --------------------------------------- PIECE OF HEART LOCATIONS
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    Link starts with a mere three hearts to his name, which is sufficient at the
    beginning of the game but shortly becomes a major health risk.  By clearing
    each of the game's dungeons Link earns an additional 11 hearts, but even that
    is a fraction of Link's potential strength.  Scattered throughout the world are
    Pieces of Heart -- there are 24 in total, 12 in the Light World and 12 in the
    Dark World.  Collect four and Link will gain one full heart, meaning that there
    an additional six hearts to bolster Link's strength to a capacity of 20.  Let's
    get started!
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
           LIGHT WORLD
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
      * Kakariko Village.  In the northern part of the village, there's a building
        with a green roof.  Enter this building and go downstairs.  See the crack
        in the northern wall?  Blow it open with a Bomb -- the Piece of Heart is
        just on the other side.
    
      * Kakariko Village.  Head to the northwest corner of the village.  Notice the
        black pit?  It may look dangerous, but it really isn't (trust me).
        Position yourself on the precipice above it, then hop off the ledge into
        the pit.  Raid the chest to score some Bombs, then check the northeast
        ledge for some Rupees.  But don't hop off the ledge yet!  First, blow open
        the cracked wall with a Bomb.  Inside is another Piece of Heart.
    
      * Kakariko Village.  Exit the main village at the southeast corner.  There's
        a long house to the southwest of where you are now standing.  Head for it,
        The man inside is quarreling with his brother, so there's really only one
        option -- to blow open their wall (makes perfect sense, right?).  Bomb the
        cracked wall and say "Whatup" to the other brother, then step outside.  The
        girl out here is willing to hand over "something good" if you can reach the
        "goal" (the end of the fence maze) in 15 seconds.  Slash your way through
        the bushes and make your way west.  If you manage to do it quick enough,
        you'll win the Piece of Heart.  If not, go back and try again -- there's no
        participation cost, so you can keep retrying until you win.
    
      * Lost Woods.  Assuming that you entered from the south (Kakariko Village)
        entrance), follow the path northward -- defeat the bird that dives at you
        -- and you'll find a small hut and nine bushes.  Ignore the hut and cut
        through the bushes to reveal a pit.  Fall in, please, and you'll land right
        next to the Piece of Heart.  That was easy.
    
      * Overworld.  South of Link's house is a field, and in the southern portion
        of this field is a small building.  In there, watch out for the spinning
        flame and pull the switch on the right to open the floodgate.  Ignore the
        left switch (pulling it means explosives will rain from the sky -- no joke)
        and leave.  Back outside, the pools have now been drained, leaving a fish
        and a Piece of Heart
    
      * Overworld.  From the Sanctuary, head west one screen, then curve northward
        and turn back eastward.  On the same screen as the Sanctuary (but on the
        ledge to the left of it), dash into the pile of white stones.  Doing so
        will reveal a secret entrance.  Venture inside and claim your prize.
    
      * Desert of Mystery.  Upon entering the desert, go west into the desert
        itself (vultures and all), then press northward.  You should find an
        entrance to the caves here -- go inside to meet some dude named Aginah
        (weird name), but he's not why we're here.  Bomb the wall south of him to
        find another Piece of Heart.
    
      * Desert of Mystery/Desert Palace.  While conquering the Desert Palace, you
        step outside temporarily in order to travel from the main dungeon to the
        boss's lair.  Before heading for the aforementioned boss's lair, travel
        south along the western ledge to find this Piece of Heart.
    
      * Zora's Domain.  From the waterfall where you meet and buy the Flippers from
        the big Zora, swim southward and drop down the waterfall.  Hop onto the
        path and follow the shallow water around toward solid ground.  Take a look
        to the left and you'll find another Piece of Heart.  Yeah!
    
      * Death Mountain.  Climb the long ladder and walk eastward toward the swirly
        blue tile, but don't step on it.  Instead, go back toward the cave just to
        the west.  See the big brownish rock in front of it?  If you walk southward
        from that rock, you'll find that a barrier that prevents you from leaping
        off the ledge.  However, if you stand just west of there, you can jump off,
        landing on a ledge with a doorway.  Head into the cave and follow the
        linear path to score a Piece of Heart.
    
      * Death Mountain.  This one is sitting on a ledge near the Mountain Tower.
        To get there, use the nearby blue warp tile to warp to the Dark World.
        Position yourself in the center of the brown diamond shape on the ground
        near the deformed dude and his ball, then look into the Magic Mirror.
        Ta-dah!  The Piece of Heart is yours for the taking.
    
      * Lake Hylia.  Start off in the Dark World, and head for the bridge to the
        southeast of the Pyramid of Power (you know, the one covered in pegs).
        Smash in the pegs with the Magic Hammer and cross it.  Head south first to
        the reach the Dark World equivalent of Lake Hylia.  Hop off the ledge and
        into the green water, looking for a wide circle of rocks surrounding a
        patch of shallow water.  Stand in the center and use the Magic Mirror to
        return to the Light World, where you'll find a Piece of Heart and one of
        those green electrical enemies.
    
      * Overworld.  In the Dark World, enter the field south of the Bomb Shop and
        head west -- on the other side of the wall near the northwestern lake is a
        heavy stone.  Lift it and toss it aside, then head west.  There are some
        Piggies patrolling this area, so deal with them, then check the southwest
        corner of the area to find a circle of bushes.  Stand in the center of use
        the Magic Mirror again.  In the Light World, you'll appear on a plateau,
        right next to a cave.  Head inside to find some Heart refills and a Piece
        of Heart.
    
      * Overworld.  Go to the Dark World's version of the graveyard and circle
        around behind it.  There's a ladder than leads up to a platform that is
        rather conspicuously devoid of anything.  Hmmm.  Seems odd, right?  Try the
        Magic Mirror.  Aha!  There's a cave here.  Go in, bomb the cracked wall,
        and claim your Piece of Heart.
    
      * Overworld.  This is only available after you've defeated Agahnim at Hyrule
        Castle and entered the Dark World.  Do you remember the lumberjack
        brothers?  The two guys who live in a small cabin nestled in between the
        Lost Woods and the base of Death Mountain in the Light World?  Well, that's
        where this PoH is.  When you get there, you may notice that the lumberjack
        bros are missing in action, but -- curiously -- the tree in front of their
        house is kind of an odd color.  Stand on its north side and dash southward
        at it with the Pegasus Shoes.  Doing so reveals a supersecret entrance.  Go
        inside to discover a Fairy Fountain and, more importantly, another Piece of
        Heart.
    
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
           DARK WORLD
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
      * Pyramid of Power.  From atop this giant golden pyramid, go down two flights
        of stairs, then go right and drop off the ledge via the gap in the wall
        (there's a doorway in the pyramid wall below and a gray statue to the
        left).  Ignore the doorway, there's nothing pertinent in there, but instead
        curl around the ledge and follow the path northward to discover a Piece of
        Heart.
    
      * Village of Outcasts.  Get your butt to the Dark World and head toward
        Kakariko Village.  Instead of entering the village proper, check out the
        area south of it.  There's a digging mini-game here.  It costs 80 Rupees to
        play, which seems a bit steep, but what can you do?  Anyway, it'll be worth
        the cost when you dig up another Piece of Heart.
    
      * Overworld.  You need to have the Magic Cape for this one.  Head west a
        couple screens from the Dark World's graveyard, then north as if you're
        headed toward Death Mountain when you get to the sign that reads "This way
        -> Cave."  Continue north until you reach another sign, this one reading,
        "I'll give a Piece of Heart to the person who wears the Cape."  From here,
        turn right and lift the large slab blocking access to the adjacent cave.
        Inside the cave, head north and up the stairs at the end of the cavern.
        There's a pit blocking the path ahead up here, but you can use the Hookshot
        to cross it.  Here's the part where things get a bit tricky:  There's a big
        blue bouncy pad blocking the road onward.  How to get past it?  Well, put
        on your Magic Cape and you can walk right through it.  Very cool.  Outside
        is your Piece of Heart.
    
      * Village of Outcasts.  This Piece of Heart can be won in a mini-game found
        in a building on the west side of the village (the building is the one with
        the treasure chest symbol above its doorway, believe it or not).  The game
        is pretty simple:  The room is filled with treasure chests, you fork over
        30 Rupees, open two chests, and keep whatever is inside.  It's completely
        random, so there's no further help I can give you.  There is a Piece of
        Heart in one of the chests, though, I promise.  Good luck!  I hope you
        brought a lot of Rupees, just in case it takes a while.
    
      * Village of Outcasts.  Visit the screen east of the Village of Outcasts (the
        same place where the Blacksmiths live in the Light World).  Toss the giant
        black slabs out of the way and hammer all the pegs in front of you into the
        ground.  Doing so reveals a secret staircase.  Head down it to earn another
        Piece of Heart.
    
      * Swamp of Misery.  Near the northern limits of the swamp is an small,
        odd-looking building -- head inside to find a pair of treasure chests at
        the far end of this mini-dungeon.  Block pushing puzzles?  Oh dear.  Here's
        what the situation look like when you enter:
    
            [6]      [7]
               [C][C]
            [2][3]   [5]
            [1]   [4]
    
        The blocks marked with "C" represent the treasure chests.  Push block 1 to
        the left, then slide block 4 to the right.  Next, push block 2 one space
        north and, finally, move block 3 to the left.  Easy!  Check both chests to
        receive a Red Rupee and a Piece of Heart.  Score.
    
      * Swamp of Misery.  In the northeast corner of the swamp is a small alcove.
        Stand in this area and look into the Magic Mirror -- back in the Light
        World, you'll be standing next to a big stone.  Toss it out of the way to
        reveal staircase.  Like, go down it and stuff.  Here's another block
        pushing puzzle, and your reward for completing it is another Piece of
        Heart.  Worth the trouble?  Of course!.  Here's what we're looking at:
    
               [5]   [A]   POH
            [2]   [7]   [B]
               [4]   [9]   [D]
            [1]   [6]   [C]
               [3]   [8]   [E]
    
        The letters "POH" denote, of course, Piece of Heart.  Where to start?  Why
        not start with block 1?  Slide it north, then move onto block 4, which you
        should also move north.  Block 9 is next -- move it to the right.  Finally,
        slide the block labeled "B" to the right and the Piece of Heart is yours!
        See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
    
      * Death Mountain.  From the entrance to Turtle Rock, head one screen west and
        lift the large stone slab in the middle of the path to find a secret
        entrance.  Go in.  Head north toward the edge of the platform.  There's
        nowhere to walk, and there's nothing for the Hookshot to grab onto, so what
        to do?  Well, this may sound a bit weird, but equip your Ether Medallion
        and give it a try.  It will temporarily reveal an invisible path to across
        the pit.  Do your best to memorize the path -- it's kind of shaped like a
        backwards "C".
    
        Once you've made your way across the pit, Bomb the cracked wall and
        continue onward.  In the following cave, Bomb both the northern and western
        alcoves.  There's a Fairy Fountain to the north, but the good stuff is to
        the west.  Again, you're presented with two options.  The northern wall,
        once Bombed, leads to another Fairy Fountain, while the southern door leads
        outside to what appears to be a dead end.  Bust out your Magic Mirror,
        however, and return to the Light World to score the penultimate Piece of
        Heart.  Awesome.
    
      * Turtle Rock.  Just before the room with the Big Chest, there's a narrow
        ledge outside of the dungeon.  Return to that outside ledge, stand right in
        front of the eastern entrance to the dungeon and use the Magic Mirror.
        There's another entrance to the mountainside in the Light World, so head
        in.  There are four cyclopses in here, and all four must be defeated in
        order to open the sealed door.  Thwack all of them, hammer the pegs into
        the ground, and move on.  There, inside that chest just ahead, is the
        twenty-fourth and final Piece of Heart in the game.  Take it, it's yours.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
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         VIII. -------------------------------------------------------- BOSSES
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    This chapter contains a list of all the bosses that you'll find during the
    course of the game.  They're listed in the order in which you fight them.  I
    don't know their real names (and frankly, I don't give a monkey, so don't
    e-mail them in), so I made up my own.  As you'll see, I'm very creative.
    
                      - Hyrule Castle:  BALL AND CHAIN TROOPER -
        There's a reason why I put the word "boss" in quotes, and that's
        because this homie is a piece of cake.  A word of warning though:  take
        note that your new found Boomerang will *not* damage Mr. Balls, though
        it will momentarily stun him.  Approach him from a safe distance and
        wait until he swings his ball and chain.  As soon as he withdraws his
        weapon, dash in, throw your Boomerang at him and slash like crazy.
        Repeat these steps several times until he bites the dust.  There are
        some hearts hidden inside the pots in the adjacent jail cell should you
        sustain any damage and, incidentally, you can also toss those pots at
        the Ball and Chain Trooper if you'd rather attack from a distance.
    
    
                           - East Palace:  BOUNCY KNIGHTS -
        Numbering six in all, the Bouncy Knights take up a fair amount of the
        room, which doesn't leave us with much space in which to maneuver.  As
        soon as they begin to move, single out one of the six knights and
        continually nail him with arrows.  Three of 'em should do the trick.
        Once one knight has been neutralized, the battle becomes a bit easier.
        In particular, the knights' charge attack (in which they line up across
        the north wall and bounce toward you) becomes very easy to dodge.  Keep
        pounding the knights with arrows (or sword strikes, should you run out
        of the arrows) until only one remains.
    
        At this point, the surviving knight will change up his strategy.  He'll
        turn red (with fury, perhaps) and repeatedly leap around the room in an
        attempt to squash you.  As long as you stay on the move, he won't be
        able to touch you (so, like, keep moving and stuff).  Your best method
        of mayhem at this point is to abandon the Bow and rely on your trusty
        sword -- unlease a spin attack whenever the knight hovers over you.
        Not only will this damage the knight, but it will also interrupt his
        own attack, causing him to miss when he tries to sit on you.  Keep up
        the attack and this battle won't last much longer.
    
    
                       - Desert Palace:  REALLY-BIG WORMS x3 -
        As was the case with the boss of the East Palace, the boss here is an
        ensemble foe.  The modus operandi of these three nasty worms is to jump
        in and out of the sand, which makes it confusing to know where and when
        you're going to be attacked.  To make matter worse, they spit up rocks
        when they emerge from the sand.  The sword is really the only weapon of
        any use in this battle, but be sure to target only the heads of the
        worms.  Some people like to try planting Bombs where they think the
        worms are going to come out, but I find that to be a sorrowfully
        inaccurate strategy.  Once you've finished off two worms, the remaining
        one will up his game a bit (more rocks).  Keep up the same strategy and
        *be patient*!  Patience is the key to this battle.  It's better to
        avoid taking damage from the rocks and have to wait for another chance
        to attack than to end up dead because you couldn't wait for an opening.
    
    
                         - Mountain Tower:  SUPER BIG WORM -
        This is an interesting boss battle.  The weird and unique thing about
        it is not that the Worm is likely to kill you (because it's not), but
        rather that it will knock you off the platform (no barriers on the
        sides!) into the adjacent pit.  This makes the battle more frustrating
        than anything, because if you fall into the pit you'll have to make
        your way back up to the boss room before the fight can continue.
        There's no sure-fire way to combat this.  Just try to stay in the
        center of the platform -- there's not much more advice I can give than
        that.
    
        In terms of the actual fight, there isn't much to it.  At the tip of
        the Worm's tail is a kind of spinning ball.  This is its weak point.
        Stand in the center of the platform (don't chase the Worm into the
        narrow ledge on the left side of the platform -- doing so is tantamount
        to asking to be pushed off the ledge) and wait for it to come to you.
        Lash out at the tail whenever you get the chance, and after sustaining
        several hits the Worm will speed up (uh-oh!).  Keep up the same
        strategy and, with any luck, you'll come out on top without getting
        knocked off too many times.
    
    
                             - Hyrule Castle:  AGAHNIM -
        So here's the thing:  as totally awesome and legendary as the Master
        Sword is, it won't do a thing against Agahnim.  For that matter,
        neither will any of your other weapons.  If Agahnim was smart, he'd
        just sit there and laugh at Link's complete inability to damage him.
        But he's not smart -- in fact, he's his own worst enemy.  By flinging
        balls of magical energy at you, he's supplying you with the only way
        of inflicting damage upon him.  Who's up for some baseball?
    
        There are two ways to do this:  you can use either the Bug-Catching Net
        (lame) or the whirling blade technique (awesome).  Either way, wait for
        Agahnim to launch a ball of energy at you:  if it is one solid ball,
        then you can use one of the aforementioned methods of attack to deflect
        the blast back at him.  If it connects, Agahnim will sustain damage.
        If not, wait for the next attack and get it right -- go David Ortiz on his
        wizard butt.  This is the *only* way to hurt the wizard, so keep it up.
    
        Now, Agahnim has a couple of tricks up his sleeve that you should know
        about.  First of all, he'll sometimes shoot several small, blue balls
        of energy at you.  These can be deflected, but they won't hurt him so
        it's best to simply dodge them.  Also, when Agahnim appears in front of
        the northern wall, he's preparing to fry you with lightning.  This
        cannot be deflected at all and causes significant damage, so move as
        far to the side as you can to avoid getting hit.  Aside from that, it's
        all about persistence.  After taking enough blows, Agahnim will regress
        into the Dark World, taking you with him.
    
    
                    - Dark Palace:  GIANT ARMORED SCORPION THING -
        The most difficult thing about this battle is not the boss's range of
        attacks, it is that this beast is literally a beast -- he takes up most
        of the room, meaning that there is very little space to maneuver.
        There are also spiky blocks at the top of the room, so you're better
        off staying in the lower half.  As far as his attacks go, he's got two
        things to watch out for:  a tail attack which happens without much
        warning and, as a result, is difficult to dodge.  Although, I find that
        his tail is easier to avoid the closer you are to the boss himself, so
        stay as close as you can without making physical contact with him.
        Also, he likes to spit out fireballs which then divide into smaller
        fireballs before finally disappearing.  This is easier to avoid -- just
        keep your eyes open and stay on the move.
    
        So how do we hurt this thing?  Use your Hammer to smash it's blue face
        mask.  As you do this, the mask will begin to crack before eventually
        shattering completely.  When this occurs, replace your Hammer with the
        Bow and start firing Arrow after Arrow at the green gem that, for some
        odd reason, is lodged in this creature's forehead.  He doesn't have any
        new attacks in this new phase, but he moves much more quickly, which
        makes it a bit difficult to be accurate with your Arrows.  My
        recommendation is simply to keep the Arrows coming -- the sooner you
        defeat this guy, the less damage he can inflict upon you.
    
    
                   - Swamp Palace:  JELLYFISH COVERED IN POPCORN -
        Like many bosses in this game, this one consists of two stages.  In the
        first stage, your task is to destroy the various popcorn-looking puffs
        floating around the boss's body.  However, this can't be accomplished
        simply by slashing your sword at it.  No, sir, you'll need to take on
        each puff on an individual basis.  To do this, use the Hookshot to grab
        one, then quickly slash, slash, slash away at it until it either dies
        or returns to the boss's body.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  As you do this,
        the boss will float around the room, occasionally releasing all of its
        puffs at once.  For now, this is its only attack, so take your time, be
        patient and you shouldn't take on much damage.
    
        When the last puff has been destroyed, round two commences.  The boss
        will now crash down onto the watery floor from high above and jettison
        around the room at high speed  A single swipe of the sword will prompt
        the creature to take to the sky, crash down again, and repeat the
        process all over again.  At this point, a good offense is the best
        defense.  Just keeping moving and whack it with your sword whenever it
        comes close.  After enough slashes, it'll die and your job here will
        be done.
    
    
                             - Skull Woods:  GIANT MOTH -
        Oh yes, the fearsome master of the Skull Woods is a big moth.  Uh...
        Scary?  This is kind of an odd boss fight because the most difficult
        part of the battle isn't the actual boss itself, but rather the various
        spikes that form a makeshift ring around the room.  Not only do these
        restrict your movement and make for a rather cramped arena, but as the
        battle rages on, they'll begin to fall toward you.  As a result of
        this, it's an absolute necessity that you stay on the move in order to
        minimize the damage you take on.
    
        As for the offensive side of things, the Fire Rod is your best bet to
        fry this dude (which is ironic because moths are usually drawn toward
        flames).  Fling shot after shot of fiery goodness at this creature as
        you do your best to dodge the spikes as well as the orange rings that
        he shoots out.  If you run out of Magic Power, don't fret -- your sword
        also works against this boss, although it's significantly weaker than
        the Fire Rod.  The Giant Moth only has one form, so once you've
        sufficiently fried him, the battle will come to a close.
    
    
                   - Thieves' Town:  FAKE MAIDEN / REAL MONSTER -
        Uh, so not your prototypical damsel in distress, then.  This boss's
        modus operandi is as follows:  He floats around from wall to wall,
        blasting laser beams at you.  There's no foolproof way to avoid them,
        so your best bet is simply to stay in motion at all times.  You can, in
        turn, damage him by slashing his head with your sword.  Once you've
        inflicted enough damage, his head will come off (what?) and start
        floating around the room of its own volition, shooting lasers at will.
        You can't hurt the disembodied head, so wait until you body begins to
        move again and redouble your efforts.  Again, after you land another
        few blows, a second head will enter the fray (how many heads does this
        dude have?).  This time, when you land the final blow it will be the
        final blow for real.
    
    
                 - Ice Palace:  GIANT PUFFY EYEBALL ENCASED IN ICE -
        The first half of this battle is surprisingly straightforward.  The
        boss himself doesn't really do much of anything -- I guess it's hard to
        when you're frozen.  As such, the only danger comes in the form of
        heavy chunks of ice that drop from the ceiling.  You can see their
        shadows before they come crashing down, so keep your eyes out for them
        and keep on the move.  In regard to attacking this beast, there's
        really only one option, isn't there?  Whip out your Fire Rod and let
        him have it.
    
        Once you've cooked him enough, the ice will melt, setting the eyeball,
        as well as two other eyeballs, free.  The Fire Rod is still effective
        at this stage of the battle, but Link's sword is just as useful, so go
        with whichever you prefer.  It's important not to be caught stationary,
        because in addition to the three giant eyeballs the chunks of ice are
        still raining down from above.  The most effective strategy is to deal
        with the eyeballs one at a time.  Try to pin one of them down in a
        corner and keep slashing until it's defeated.  Once all three have been
        destroyed, the next Pendant is yours.
    
    
                           - Misery Mire:  GOOEY EYEBALLS -
        When the battle commences, you'll be limited to the southern half of
        the room because the boss takes up the entire northern half.  This
        limits your movement, but that shouldn't be a significant problem.
        Why not, you ask?  Well, this boss doesn't have too many attacks.  In
        addition to sending his eyeball minions out one at a time to attack
        you, he has only one attack:  lightning.  This only targets the middle
        of the room, however, you move in either corner and you'll be totally
        safe.  Your task during the first part of this battle, then, is to
        defeat each of the miniature eyeballs.  This is a fairly easy task --
        simply give each one a few slashes when it comes toward you.  It might
        take a while, but if you're patient then you shouldn't have too many
        problems.
    
        When the last mini-eyeball has been destroyed, it's time to deal with
        the big one.  It will leave it's gooey puddle and begin bouncing toward
        you.  This shouldn't be an issue -- just charge up your sword and whack
        him with it.  The biggest issue here isn't the boss himself but rather
        the lack of space.  Try to circle around the boss as best as possible
        so that you don't get cornered.  Aside from that, there's not too much
        advice to give.
    
    
                          - Turtle Rock:  CERBERUS TURTLE -
        This Boss has three heads, but for the immediate future you only have
        to worry about two of them.  The blue head spits ice (which then
        remains on the ground, making your movement more difficult) while the
        red one breathes fire.  Their weaknesses, therefore, should be pretty
        apparent:  use the Fire Rod to toast the blue head and target the red
        head with the Ice Rod.  Once either head has been hit, quickly lash
        out at it with your sword.  These heads don't have too much stamina,
        so it shouldn't take more than a few hits to destroy each one.
        Although you can't damage the third head just yet, it can damage you,
        so keep an eye out for its lunge attack.
    
        When both colored heads have been destroyed, the shell will disappear
        and the third head will begin to slither around the room.  Only the
        differently colored section of its body is vulnerable, so circle around
        it and slash it with your sword.  It won't last much longer than either
        of the previous two heads -- just a few slashes will be enough to
        finish this fight off.
    
    
                         - Ganon's Tower:  BOUNCY KNIGHTS ROUND II -
        You remember these guys, they were the first real boss in the game.
        Numbering six in all, the Bouncy Knights take up a fair amount of the
        room, which doesn't leave us with much space in which to maneuver.  To
        make things worse, the floor is covered in a sheen of ice, which makes
        it quite difficult to dodge these guys.  As soon as they begin to move,
        single out one of the six Knights and plunk him with a Silver Arrow.
        One shot is all it takes to do the trick.  Do the same thing with the
        next four Knights.  When only one remains, he'll turn red and try to
        crush you from above.  Just stay on the move, charge up your sword, and
        let loose with the whirling blade technique whenever the Knight is
        hovering just above you.  A few hits and this one is over with.
    
    
                  - Ganon's Tower:  REALLY-BIG WORMS x3 ROUND II -
        You know how this works.  The three worms will emerge from the sand at
        varying times and in varying locations, each time showering you with
        damage-inducing rocks.  It's your task to slash the heck of them when
        they get anywhere near you.  With the Golden Sword in hand, that
        shouldn't take too long.  It's worth noting that there is a fireball-
        spitting statue in the bottom left corner of the room, but aside from
        that there's nothing new about fighting these guys.
    
    
                     - Ganon's Tower:  SUPER BIG WORM ROUND II -
        Well, you knew it was coming, didn't you?  As with the first time we
        fought this guy, the chief trouble isn't the damage that he can inflict
        upon you, but rather the simple fact that he can knock you off the
        ledge, forcing you to work your way back here and start from square
        one.  Here's the good news:  with your totally awesome Golden Sword,
        two slashes to his tail will bring this battle to a close.  It's also a
        much bigger battle arena than the first time around, so there's plenty
        of room to maneuver.
    
    
                             - Ganon's Tower:  AGAHNIM -
        Oddly enough, the master of Ganon's Tower is not Ganon but Agahnim.
        This is good news for us, however, because Agahnim has hardly learned
        any new tricks since the last time we fought him.  The only difference
        between this battle and the first one with Agahnim is that there are
        now two shadow copies of Agahnim.  They can damage you, but you can't
        damage them.  This complicates things a bit -- this battle can be
        pretty chaotic at times -- but the basic strategy is the same as
        before.  Charge up Link's sword and knock Agahnim's energy balls back
        at him.
    
        The difficult thing is not deflecting his energy balls, but rather
        figuring out which Agahnim is the real one.  If you look closely, there
        is a notable difference between the real McCoy and the fake ones -- the
        real one has a darker shadow, while the other two are almost
        translucent.  Something else to take note of is that, while you can't
        damage the fake Agahnims, you *can* deflect their energy balls toward
        the real, causing him damage.  Hit him about ten times and this battle
        is done.
    
    
                            - The Final Showdown:  GANON -
        This is the final battle of the game, and it's something of a marathon,
        so I hope that you're properly prepared.  From the beginning, it's a
        fairly straightforward fight.  As Ganon tosses his trident like a
        boomerang, you should close in and go crazy on him with the sword.  He
        will teleport around the room in an attempt to stay away from you, so
        close him down.  Early on in the battle, I highly recommend placing a
        higher priority on defense than offense, however.  It's more important
        to avoid his attacks than to get in your own, because later on you
        don't want to have to worry about running out of Hearts.
    
        Pretty soon, Ganon will introduce a new element to the fray:  fireballs.
        This circle around him, forming a sort of protective barrier, but he
        also shoots them outward.  This is your cue to close in and attack --
        you'll almost certainly take some damage from the fireballs as you do
        so, but there's really no way to avoid this.  Just do your best to get
        as many sword slashes on target as possible.  In addition to having
        his fireballs circle around him like a shield, Ganon will also shoot
        them at you, almost like homing missiles.  Stay on the move to evade
        them.
    
        His next gambit is a floor-shaking attack that causes the edges of the
        floor to collapse.  Whatever you do, don't fall in -- doing so brings
        you deeper in the Pyramid of Power.  When you get back outside, you'll
        have to start the battle all over again from the beginning.  So, like,
        be careful.  Once all four sides of the arena have collapsed, Ganon
        will start using what he refers to as his "technique of Darkness" --
        basically the lights go out and he becomes invisible.  Obviously, you
        can't hurt him if you can't see him, so light the two torches with the
        Fire Rod.
    
        He'll resort to teleporting around the room, which makes it difficult
        to pin him down, but when you get a chance whack him with the sword.
        He'll temporarily turn grey -- this is your chance to put the nail in
        his coffin with a Silver Arrow.  Repeat these steps a few times --
        light the torches, hit him with the sword, then shoot him with a Silver
        Arrow -- and the game is won.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
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         IX. ------------------------------------------------------ MINI-GAMES
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    At various locations in both the Light and Dark Worlds, there are mini-games in
    which you can win prizes and take your mind off of the task at hand.  Here they
    are:
    
    ========================
    KAKARIKO OBSTACLE COURSE
    ========================
    
    South of Kakariko Village is a house in which two brothers are feuding.  Blow
    up their wall and exit to the west to find the obstacle course mini-game.  Your
    goal is to make it to the other side within 15 seconds, you'll win the prize (a
    Piece of Heart).  To make it there in time, you'll have to cut a path through
    bushes, navigate fences, and -- at the end -- hop over the fence.  It's free of
    charge so you can try as many times as you want, but after you've won the
    Piece of Heart there are no secondary prizes.
    
    ==============
    CHOOSE-A-CHEST
    ==============
    
    There are two choose-a-chest games:  one in the Light World and one in the Dark
    World.  The former is located in one of the log tunnels in the Lost Woods,
    while the other is found in the Village of Outcasts.  In both locations, the
    gist is the same:  you pay some Rupees to play, open a random chest and get to
    keep the contents.  Usually you'll receive Rupees, Bombs, Arrows or something
    along those lines, but at the Dark World location you can find a Piece of
    Heart, as well, so the investment is definitely worth it.
    
    ===============
    FORTUNE-TELLERS
    ===============
    
    The fortune-teller isn't really a mini-game -- it's more of a Rupee-draining
    scam, but whatevs.  There are two locations for this game:  one just north of
    Kakariko Village and one southeast of Link's house, near Lake Hylia.  In both
    cases, you'll receive a bit of advice (nothing you can't find out in this
    guide!) before paying an exorbitant price.  Try it at your own peril.
    
    ===============
    ARCHERY CONTEST
    ===============
    
    This is located in the building south of the Village of Outcasts in the Dark
    World.  It costs 20 Rupees for five shots, and each target you hit is worth
    four Rupees.  As such, it's not the most effective way to make money, even if
    you're a sure-shot, but it's fun nevertheless.
    
    ============
    DIGGING GAME
    ============
    
    This is just west of the Archery Contest, where the obstacle course was in the
    Light World.  In this game, you have thirty seconds to dig up as much as you
    can.  It costs 80 Rupees, however, so the likelihood that you'll bring in a
    profit isn't very high.  Even so, it's fun to mess around with from time to
    time and, like the choose-a-chest game, there's a Piece of Heart up for grabs.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
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         X. ----------------------------------------------------- SHOP LISTING
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    Both the Light World and the Dark World are full of places to buy stuff.  Most
    of them sell the same general things, but depending on where you go you can
    find different prices.  Here's a listing of every shop in the game, what it
    sells, and for how much.
    
    ================
    KAKARIKO VILLAGE
    ================
    
    In the south of Kakariko Village, next to the chicken coop, you'll find this
    shop.  Aside from buying your first set of Bombs here, there's no reason to
    ever use this shop, as the Witch's Magic Shop has a much better price for Red
    Potion.
    
      * Red Potion:  150 Rupees
      * 1 Heart:     10 Rupees
      * 10 Bombs:    50 Rupees
    
    ==========
    LAKE HYLIA
    ==========
    
    Southeast of Link's house, next to a Fortune Teller's shop, and north of Lake
    Hylia is this shop.  It has the same stuff for sale as the shop in Kakariko
    Village.
    
      * Red Potion:  150 Rupees
      * 1 Heart:     10 Rupees
      * 10 Bombs:    50 Rupees
    
    ==================
    WITCH'S MAGIC SHOP
    ==================
    
    This little hut is found in the northeastern corner of the Light World, north
    of the Eastern Palace and south of the watery kingdom where the Zoras live.
    As a general rule, this is the best place to buy your medicine.  Even better,
    if you find a Magic Mushroom in the Lost Woods, you can bring it here and the
    nice witches will use it to create Magic Powder.
    
      * Red Potion:    120 Rupees
      * Green Potion:  60 Rupees
      * Blue Potion:   160 Rupees
    
    =====================
    DARK WORLD MAGIC SHOP
    =====================
    
    This small shop is found north of the rocky field that lies between the Pyramid
    of Power and the Dark Palace.  It's in the same place as the Witch's Magic
    Shop, only in the Dark World.  Really, there's no reason why you should ever
    need to use this shop -- it charges an extra 30 Rupees for Red Potion.  Just
    use the Magic Mirror and buy it at the Witch's Magic Shop for cheaper.
    
      * Red Potion:    150 Rupees
      * Small Shield:  50 Rupees
      * 10 Bombs:      50 Rupees
    
    ========================
    VILLAGE OF OUTCASTS SHOP
    ========================
    
    This shop is in the southeast corner of the Village of Outcasts.  The entrance
    is blocked off by a set of pegs in the ground.
    
      * Red Potion:    150 Rupees
      * Small Shield:  50 Rupees
      * 10 Bombs:      50 Rupees
    
    ==============================
    OTHER VILLAGE OF OUTCASTS SHOP
    ==============================
    
    I'm not entirely sure why there needs to be two separate shops in the Village
    of Outcasts, but there are.  This one is located centrally in the village, 
    just south of the entrance to Thieves' Town.  The cool thing about this shop is
    that it has Fairies for sale.
    
      * Bee:         8 Rupees
      * Golden Bug:  not for sale
      * Fairy:       77 Rupees
    
    ==========================
    DARK WORLD LAKE HYLIA SHOP
    ==========================
    
    North of the Dark World's Lake Hylia, in an almost identical location to the
    equivalent Light World shop, is this shop.
    
      * Red Potion:    150 Rupees
      * Small Shield:  50 Rupees
      * 10 Bombs:      50 Rupees
    
    =========
    BOMB SHOP
    =========
    
    In the Dark World, go to where Link's house would be.  Here you'll find the
    Bomb shop.  For much of the game there's not much worth seeing here -- just
    normal Bombs for sale -- but after you finish Misery Mire (the sixth dungeon)
    the Super Bomb will become available.  Totally awesome.
    
      * Bombs:       100 Rupees
      * Super Bomb:  100 Rupees
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         XI. -------------------------------------------------- WARP LOCATIONS
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    There exist two types of warps in the land of Hyrule.  There are blue tiles
    that transport you to the Dark World (there are eight of these) and little
    swirly ones found in the water, which move you from one body of water to
    another.  Generally, the former are much more useful than the latter.  Let's
    take a look at them, shall we?
    
    ================
    DARK WORLD WARPS
    ================
    
      * Death Mountain.  This is the first one you'll find in the game -- it's
        located at the top of the mountain, just south of the Mountain Tower.
    
      * Kakariko Village.  In the northwestern corner of the village, there are two
        exits.  Go for the one on the right, lift the giant black stone, then look
        underneath the smaller grey one behind it to find the warp tile.
    
      * Overworld.  Enter the field south of Link's house, then head west.  Pound
        the pegs into the ground to find this warp underneath a small grey stone.
    
      * Overworld.  Go southeast from the Eastern Palace (or use the Flute to warp
        to number five) and lift the small stone enclosed behind a ring of pegs.
    
      * Lake Hylia.  In the middle of the lake, there's an island (the same island
        where you found the Pond of Happiness).  Check beneath the black stone on
        this island for the warp tile.
    
      * Desert of Mystery.  You can only get to this one with the Flute.  Use it to
        travel to number six and you'll be dropped off right next to two black
        stones.  Check the one on the right.
    
      * Death Mountain.  In the southeast portion of the mountain, there's a broken
        bridge which you can only cross using the Hookshot.  On the other side of
        the bridge, there's a solitary black stone to the south.  The warp is
        underneath that.
    
      * Death Mountain.  This one is in the northeastern corner of the mountain, in
        the same place in the Light World as Turtle Rock is in the Dark World.
        Pound the pegs into the ground in counterclockwise order.
    
    ===========
    WATER WARPS
    ===========
    
    
      * Lake Hylia.  Just south of the island where the Pond of Happiness is
        located, there's a ring of shallow water, and inside that ring is the
        swirly whirly warp.
    
      * Overworld.  Just south of the entrance to the Zoras' domain, between two
        sets of brownish rocks, is this warp.
    
      * Overworld.  Enter the field to the south of Link's house and check the
        lake to the west.  The warp is inside the "C"-shaped cluster of rocks.
    
      * Overworld.  Hop into the river to the immediate northwest of the Witch's
        Magic Shop and swim northward to find this warp.
    
      * Overworld.  There's a small lake to the northeast of Kakariko Village and
        south of the lumberjack brothers' house.  The warp is in the middle of the
        lake.
    
      * Overworld.  Do you remember the cave where you found the Ice Rod?  It's in
        the northeastern corner of Lake Hylia.  Well, just to the southeast of that
        cave is this warp.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         XII. ------------------------------------------------------------ FAQ
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
    
    Frequently Asked Questions... that's questions that are asked frequently, but
    thanks to this handy section of the guide, they don't have to be frequently
    answered questions.
    
      Q:  So... The Four Swords.  What is that?
    
      A:  Imagine Zelda meets Mario Party and you have The Four Swords (well, not
          really, but that's the best analogy I could come up with off the top of
          the dome).  Basically, it's a multi-player Zelda game in which you and
          three other friends (hence *Four* Swords) can team up and play.  I've
          never actually played it, so I can't say much more than that.
    
      *
    
      Q:  Differences and changes between the SNES and GBA versions of the game?
    
      A:  A number of changes have been made for the GBA version, although none of
          them make much of an impact on the game.  It is a port after all, not a
          remake.  Anyhoo, here's a list of all (right?) of the differences:
    
          * Link's actions (slashing, jumped off ledges, etc) are punctuated by
            vocal effects such as "ooh!" and "hah!", which unless I'm mistaken are
            the same vox from Ocarina of Time (off topic:  Zelda: Ocarina of Time
            is not better than A Link to the Past -- it never has been better and
            it never will be better -- case closed).
          * The way-cool Chris Houlihan room (a hidden room filled with delicious
            Rupees) has disappeared.
          * The names of the dungeons have changed (i.e. Hera's Tower became the
            Mountain Tower).  No, I don't care either.
          * While exploring Hyrule, you might see a particularly shiny/sparkly
            rock.  On such an occasion, whack said rock repeatedly with your sword
            to score some free Rupees.  Be warned, though -- once the rock has been
            drained of Rupees, it'll spit out a Bomb before turning back into an
            ordinary rock.  These weren't in the original.
          * After saving your game, you now have the option of restarting at your
            "Saved Place" in addition to the typical places like Link's house.
          * Link has become so hardcore that he can now chop sign posts in half
            and shatter pots with a single swipe of the sword.  Is it fun to walk
            around Kakariko Village cutting up signs?  Nuts on the road it is!
          * The Ice Palace, the fifth dungeon in the Dark World, has been
            simplified by removing a certain block-pushing element.
          * Finally, there's the addition of the Four Swords game.  Scroll up a
            question to get the full(-ish) scoop on that.
    
      *
    
      Q:  Okay, I saw a sparkling rock!  What is the deal with *that*?
    
      A:  This is a new addition to the GBA version of the game.  If you encounter
          such a rock, whack it repeatedly with your sword to score some Rupees.
          But be careful:  once the rock is out of Rupees, it'll spit out a bomb.
          So, like, grab the Rupees and get out of there.
    
      *
    
      Q:  The door on the roof of Hyrule Castle is surrounded by some kind of
          electric barrier.  How can I get in?
    
      A:  Until you've acquired the Master Sword (which is your goal after you
          conquer dungeons one through three), there's no way to break down this
          barrier.  When you do have the sword, though, simply swipe the electrical
          barrier with it to gain entrance to Agahnim's lair.
    
      *
    
      Q:  How do I get into the Dark Palace?  There's no door!
    
      A:  Just outside the Dark Palace, you'll encounter a monkey named Kiki.  He
          will ask you for 10 Rupees -- oblige him.  Then, when you reach the
          Palace entrance, he'll demand another 100 Rupees.  As there's no other
          way to get into the Palace, pay him and he'll open the Palace for you.
    
      *
    
      Q:  I heard that I can increase my Magic Power!  How?
    
      A:  Let's clear this up, first and foremost:  You can't increase your Magic
          Power.  What you can do is reduce the amount of Magic that magical items
          consume.  To do this, warp to the Light World and head to the
          Blacksmith's Shop (one screen east from Kakariko Village).  There's a
          wooden peg just outside the Blacksmith's house -- Hammer it into the
          ground.  Hop off the ledge into the black pit below, then choose the
          northern door.  Inside is an altar of sorts.  Sprinkle some Magic Powder
          onto it and a surprisingly respectful and polite bat will appear.  He's a
          bit peeved that you woke him up, so he'll exact his odd form of revenge
          by cutting your Magic Meter in half.  Contrary to popular belief, this
          doesn't make your magic weaker -- what it really does is lessen the
          amount of Magic Power consumed when you use a magic item like Ether or
          the Ice Rod.
    
      *
    
      Q:  There's this weird, really big Bomb for sale in the Dark World.  What's
          it for?
    
      A:  This is the Super Bomb, and it can be used to blow open the cracked wall
          in the Pyramid of Power.  Inside this wall is a fountain, and if you toss
          in your sword and your Bow and Arrows, you'll receive the Golden Sword
          and the Silver Arrows, two of the game's most powerful weapons.
    
      *
    
      Q:  Okay, I went to the Bomb Shop, but the Super Bomb wasn't there!  What's
          the deal?
    
      A:  The Super Bomb won't go on sale until after you've completed Misery Mire,
          the sixth Dark World dungeon.
    
      * 
    
      Q:  Alright, I bought the Super Bomb, but I keep losing it!  What's going on?
    
      A:  With the Super Bomb following behind you, you can't jump off ledges or
          use the Pegasus Shoes to dash.  Just slowly make your way toward the
          Pyramid of Power and you'll be just fine -- there's no need to rush.
    
      *
    
      Q:  I used the Magic Mirror to go into the Light World, and now I can't get
          back to the Dark World.  What do I do?
    
      A:  Don't worry, you're not stuck.  You've got three options:  either find
          the warp that you created when you used the Mirror (that swirly residue),
          find a swirly blue warp tile (check the "Warp Locations" chapter above
          for info on those), or simply walk underneath the gate at Hyrule Castle.
    
      *
    
      Q:  I have an, err... "personal" question to ask.  How can I get in contact
          with you?
    
      A:  My e-mail is americanarsenal4 (at) gmail (dot) com.  Let me warn you in
          advance, though:  I'm lazy and take forever to answer questions,
          especially ones that I can't answer from memory.  Please be patient with
          me.  If you have a *really* urgent question, you can try to catch me on
          Google Talk (americanarsenal4).  I'll be nice as long as you are, so
          please don't be obnoxious (i.e. don't IM every single time I get on).
          Fair enough, right?  One last thing:  please please *please* check the
          guide before getting in contact with me.  There's nothing more annoying
          than having someone nag you about something that is clearly explained in
          the guide.  Bottom line:  Ctrl + F is your friend.  And my friend.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         XIII. ---------------------------------------------- REVISION HISTORY
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    If you're interested in knowing exactly what this version of the guide contains
    that wasn't available in previous versions, you're in the right place!
    
    ===============
    CURRENT VERSION
    ===============
    
    Version 1.0 -- December 22, 2008
      This is the first version of the guide!  Everything is complete!
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         XIV. ----------------------------------------------- LEGAL DISCLAIMER
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
    
    This document is copyright (c) 2008 Chris Noonan (American Arsenal).  It is not
    to be reproduced in any way, shape, or form.  However, feel free to download
    it, print it out for personal use, or send it to your buddies, as long as you
    leave it unaltered and do not make a profit off of it.  Doing so would be very
    illegal, so I suggest that you do nothing of the sort.  One final note:  this
    document should absolutely *NOT* be found on any websites with the exception of
    <www.gamefaqs.com>, <www.ign.com>, <www.neoseeker.com>, <www.honestgamers.com>
    and <www.gamerhelp.com>.  Don't even bother asking for permission to use it, as
    the answer will always be no.
    
    
                   *        *        *        *        *         *
    
    
    =--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=+=--=
         XV. --------------------------------------------- CREDITS AND CLOSING
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    Before totally wrapping things up, this is the part where I get to give proper
    credit (or "big ups") to those who helped to make this FAQ possible.  Thanks!
    
      CJayC <http://www.gamefaqs.com>
        CJayC is very much like the Internet version of Cesc Fabregas.  And by
        that, I don't mean that he's a Spanish wonderkid.  What I do mean is that
        he's, like, totally awesome and everything.
    
      <http://www.ign.com>, <http://neoseeker.com>
        The kind folks at these sites have been hospitable enough to host these
        crap FAQs that I've been writing.
    
      Dane Petrali
        Dane was kind enough to send in a handy tip about a getting as many Fairies
        as you can hold.  Check out the Secrets section for the deets.  Thanks for
        the tip, Dane!
    
        Super Homies: Gobicamel, Gbness, Dark Vortex, Crazyreyn, and all my other
        people in the mega-secret Y.T.W.S.R. (despite the fact that I've never
        spoken to half of you and that the whole Y.T.W.S.R. never really went
        anywhere).
    
      I don't know if anyone noticed, but the chapter titles for the Walkthrough
      section are all derived from song titles from some of my favorite bands.  In
      order:  The Receiving End of Sirens, Minus the Bear, Thrice, The Postal
      Service, Death Cab For Cutie, Gatsbys American Dream, As Tall As Lions, The
      Blood Brothers, Ben Folds, Lupe Fiasco, mewithoutYou, The Smiths, Gatsbys
      American Dream (again) and Coheed and Cambria.  Yay for awesome music!
    
                         T H A N K S   F O R   R E A D I N G ! !
    
              -----------------------------------------------------------
    
    So that's it!  The end.  I hope you enjoyed reading this half as much as I did
    writing it, and with any luck it actually helped you accomplish something in
    the game.  That said, I'm out of words.  Check out my CRP please:
    
             - http://www.gamefaqs.com/features/recognition/39691.html -
    
    I'm out!
    
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                             Copyright (c) 2008 Chris Noonan.  All rights reserved.