"Words kill, brother."

You hear stifled cries in the distance. People are grabbing their children and fleeing the burning city; it looks like Armageddon (not the movie, the thing) here. And when your face moves across the horizon, you can't help but smile at the cute little bugger that did it all. You nice little Moochi, affectionately named Buttlover.

Such is the world of Monster Rancher Advanced 2. As a basic overview, I can tell you that it will involve creating a death machine out of words. Yeah, WORDS. “But Zero!” you moan, causing your boxers to erupt with smell for some reason, “EXPLAIN! I don't get it!” And so I will explain, in due time. Now.

So words are like swords in this game, if swords were still widely used to deliver quick death (gameplay)

Let me ask you, review reader, what would you feed a freaking Dragon? Several thousands of pounds of cows? Maybe a human or two? WRONG. Potatoes. This is the gameplay, broken down so that even you can understand.

First off, you go to a shrine to create a monster. Now, this is where those killer words come in. You put in a word - any word (as long as you are the proper level to raise that monster) and POOF. A being of which God never intended to exist has come into fruition! That's right, you can turn a harmless word like “NYSNC” or “WaNG” into a beast of your own!

The question is, what next? I mean, you make a being of pure death incarnate, and now you do what? Well, first off, they aren't BORN a being of pure death incarnate, you have to mold them into one. You tell your monstrosity to push a rock, and eventually they get stronger, able to quickly deliver your judgment upon inferior monsters and humans alike. Tell it to answer a few brain teasers? BAM. Your freak is now a genius, and might even be manipulating you. Did you REALLY want to feed them fish this month, or did they WANT you to want to? I thought so.

Basically, you get some parameters, and you tell your monster what areas to train in. Pretty simple right? Well, yes actually. You can sign up for tournaments and kick some serious ass, if that's what you're into. You get money, and a couple of guys actually start recognizing your monster as a potential threat to the universe.

Gameplay gets a 8/10. Fun, but repetitive.

Why does my wolf do a backflip if he wins a tournament? (graphics)

Graphics are decent. Nothing too special here. I guess the graphics do the game well by…you know…existing or something. But I won't be hanging any portraits up of my monster. Not that I don't love Buttlover. It's just that the graphics are cool enough for me. Or anyone. Ever.

6/10.

Wait, can you really take over the world? (misc)

That depends on your view. I mean, the game is open to interpretation. But no.

You can randomly go on expeditions in the game, and it turns from a monster breeder to a craptastic adventure game. Or something. I can't even tell what is going on there. Basically, the expeditions or adventures or whatever you want to call them suck pretty hard, so just try to ignore them. Like how you ignore that memory of your first cat, Fluffy, dying in your arms after you she was attacked by ants.


Wrap it up, bastard. (conclusion)

In conclusion, if you enjoy monsters, fighting, tedious training, or all of the above, BUY THIS GAME NOW. You'll enjoy the scheduling (who doesn't?) and maybe grow to not despise the story.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 06/08/09

Game Release: Monster Rancher Advance 2 (US, 11/17/02)