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GRAND THEFT AUTO ADVANCE
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Grand Theft Auto Advance Game Script
For Game Boy Advance
Written by Fasta Killa
Version 1.0 - April 1, 2005

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1.0 - TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1.0 - Table of Contents
    1.1 Version History
    1.2 Characters
2.0 - Game Script
    2.1 - Mission 1: Jump Start
    2.2 - Mission 2: Dirty Laundry
    2.3 - Mission 3: Hot Wheels
    2.4 - Mission 4: Ill-Gotten
    2.5 - Mission 5: Payback
    2.6 - Mission 6: Fake IDs
    2.7 - Mission 7: Getaway
    2.8 - Mission 8: Twisted Metal
    2.9 - Mission 9: Ill Repute
    2.10 - Mission 10: Droppin' Bombs
    2.11 - Mission 11: Scorelli
    2.12 - Mission 12: Love Boat
    2.13 - Mission 13: Time's Up
    2.14 - Mission 14: Sober Driver
    2.15 - Mission 15: Happy Hour
    2.16 - Mission 16: Grand Opening
    2.17 - Mission 17: Pocket Rocket
    2.18 - Mission 18: Political Will
    2.19 - Mission 19: Show The Money
    2.20 - Mission 20: Race To Run
    2.21 - Mission 21: Latin Coffee
    2.22 - Mission 22: The Big Score
    2.23 - Mission 23: Fine Dining
    2.24 - Mission 24: Flying High
    2.25 - Mission 25: Factory Wages
    2.26 - Mission 26: School's Out
    2.27 - Mission 27: Kid's A Hero
    2.28 - Mission 28: Ante Up
    2.29 - Mission 29: Two-Hand Toss
    2.30 - Mission 30: Scorned Lover
    2.31 - Mission 31: Sue Me Sushi
    2.32 - Mission 32: Down The River
    2.33 - Mission 33: Bad Pimpin'
    2.34 - Mission 34: Mystery Killer
    2.35 - Mission 35: Decoy Disaster
    2.36 - Mission 36: Truth Revealed
    2.37 - Mission 37: Love of Money
    2.38 - Mission 38: Taking Revenge
    2.39 - Mission 39: Smackdown
    2.40 - Mission 40: Assault Joint
    2.41 - Mission 41: Freedom Flies
    2.42 - Misc
3.0 - Credits
4.0 - Questions
5.0 - Legal Info

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1.1 - VERSION HISTORY
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1.0 - First Version (probably final)
      This contains many spoilers of course.

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1.2 - CHARACTERS
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These characters speak text
VINNIE - Your first boss
MIKE - The main character
PAGER - Different people talk to you on the pager
EYE - White guy with black eye
HAT - Black guy with hat
RAG - Angry black guy with orange rag on head
8-BALL - Bomb specialist, your second boss
HO - White ho with black hair, blue makeup on her eyes and red lipstick
HOOKER - Old hooker with grey hair
WHORE - Whore with brown hair
BALDIE - Bald black guy
ELVIS - Guy that looks like Elvis
JONNIE - Fat white guy, your third boss
MOHAWK - White guy with mohawk and black eye
THUG - He has shaved sideburns
PUNK - Black guy with purple hat
JGF - Jonnie's girlfriend, she has brown hair
DUDE - He has a hat, mustache, and beard
GOATEE - He has a yellow goatee and a red hat
SLICK - White guy with short brown hair
SENATOR - Guy with fancy hair and blue suit
GANGSTER - Guy with black hair and green shirt
KING - Black guy with dreadlocks, your fourth boss
CISCO - White guy with black hair, mustache and goatee, your fifth boss
MAN - Angry white guy with black hair and orange shirt
BRO - Angry white guy with blond hair and black shirt
PAT - White lady that looks like a guy with black pony tail and blue shirt
BUTCH - Butcher, has black hair and sunglasses
TECH - Old white technician guy with grey hair and glasses
YUKA - Young girl with black hair and a white suit
ASUKA - Asian lady with black hair, your sixth boss
OWNER - White guy with black hair, sunglasses, and a blue shirt
PIG - Fat white policeman in a blue uniform
FBALL - Black guy that plays football, bald with a green shirt
BIFF - Biff Rock, a white movie star with black hair and blue shirt
OLD - Old white guy with teal hat, red shirt, and a black eye
MAFIA - White guy with black hair and grey and yellow shirts
MALE - Asian guy with black hair
ITALIAN - Guy with shaved beard, slicked black hair, and white shirt
MOBSTER - Guy with slick black hair, sunglasses, and black shirt
PAUL - Guy that looks like Paul Bearer from the WWF, with black mustache

These characters speak audio
AFRICAN - Driving guy
JAMAICAN - Another driving guy
AFRO - Yet another driving guy
WHITEY - Driver dude
MEXICAN - Another driver
WHITE - Yet another driver
POPO - Policeman/woman on radio
SINGER - Singer guy
RAPPER - Rapper guy

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2.0 - GAME SCRIPT
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2.1 - Mission 1: Jump Start

Somewhere in Liberty City

VINNIE: This is our big chance, Mike.  We've almost got enough money to leave
VINNIE: Liberty City for good.  I'm tired of playing errand boy.
VINNIE: We need to strike off on our own and lead the good life.
MIKE: I've got your back, Vinnie.
MIKE: You got me off the streets and back on my feet.
VINNIE: I knew I could count on you.
VINNIE: We don't owe nobody nothing and the police aren't on to us.
VINNIE: It's time to make a new start.

VINNIE: Hey Mike, you drive.
VINNIE: I gotta get my head together for this meeting with the Mafia.
MIKE: Vinnie, I thought you said we were done with these crooks.
MIKE: Let's just take our chances with the money we've got and make our break.
VINNIE: Hey, you trust me right?  I've got information they need.
VINNIE: Support me on this, and we'll be a whole lot richer and off this
VINNIE: stinkin' island in no time.

VINNIE: The restaurant is on Portland Beach.  Should be real easy to spot, too.

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: Check our hideout to make sure it's not being watched.
VINNIE: Nothing's wrong but you can never be too sure with these guys.
VINNIE: Come back to the restaurant and pick me up when you know it's clear.

At the hideout

MIKE: Things look good out front, I'd better check inside.

PAGER: Come back to the restaurant.  I need you to track someone down. -Vinnie


2.2 - Mission 2: Dirty Laundry

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: The guys upstairs say they could use a hand with a small-time pusher
VINNIE: named Frederico.
VINNIE: He's been using more of their product than selling it which is bad for
VINNIE: business.
VINNIE: Take him out and the Mafia will help us.
MIKE: Okay, Vinnie.  You're the boss.  I probably ought to carry some heat.
VINNIE: Yeah, you're right.  Here's some dough to purchase a pistol.
VINNIE: Head over to Ammu-Nation and tell 'em I sent you - No way you'd pass
VINNIE: the background check with your record...

Ammu-Nation

MIKE: Here I come Federa...Fido... Ahh... Freddy to take you down.

Street Corner

MIKE: Mind if I work this street corner for a while?
FRED: Man, this is my turf, I'm taking you down!

After killing Fred

VINNIE: Great job, Mike.  This is just the bargaining chip we need!

PAGER: Come back to the restaurant, Mike.
PAGER: We need to secure transportation. -Vinnie


2.3 - Mission 3: Hot Wheels

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: Okay Mike.  The Mafia is ready to help us out of the city, but we're
VINNIE: going to need a car - a fast one.
VINNIE: Head over to Atlantic Quays - There's a Banshee sitting in the lot just
VINNIE: waiting to be taken.
VINNIE: Grab it, get it spray painted, then drop it off at the hideout.
VINNIE: Once you've done this, come back and we'll work on getting the money
VINNIE: ready for transport.

Atlantic Quays

EYE: Do you have a parking stub for your car, Mister?
MIKE: What's it to you?
PAGER: Don't leave any witnesses alive, Mike. -Vinnie

After killing "Eye"

MIKE: High price to pay for parking around here...

After getting in Banshee

MIKE: Better go get this bucket a new paint job at the Pay 'N' Spray.

Pay 'N' Spray

PAGER: Usually it's $1000, but this time it's a freebie.
PAGER: Bring the getaway car to the hideout. -Vinnie

Hideout

VINNIE: That's exactly what we needed.  We're leaving in style, Mike!
VINNIE: Leave it there and come back.

PAGER: Hey, Mike.  I got an opportunity for us.
PAGER: Get on back to the restaurant. -Vinnie


2.4 - Mission 4: Ill-Gotten

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: Listen up.
VINNIE: The Mafia needs us to collect some protection money for them.
VINNIE: You need to go to Trenton where they don't take kindly to strangers.
VINNIE: They will be expecting Frederico, so watch yourself.
MIKE: What's this got to do with us getting out of the city?
VINNIE: You ask too many questions, you know?
VINNIE: Just don't mess up like Frederico did and the Mafia will help us out.

After picking up briefcase

MIKE: No trouble here.  This is going to be a piece of cake.

After arriving at new destination

MIKE: Looks like trouble.

After picking up briefcase

MIKE: What's Vinnie got me collecting blood money for?

After arriving at new destination

HAT: Yo!  You're not the normal guy - Where's Freddy?
MIKE: He's been 'retired' from his collecting duties.
MIKE: The Mafia's put me in charge of this route.  Hand over the briefcase.
HAT: That won't be happening.
HAT: The Mafia doesn't run this neighborhood any more.  We do.
HAT: This is our money!

After killing hat and getting the briefcase

MIKE: Damn, the Mafia doesn't seem to get much respect around here.

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: Nice job, Mike!  I'll take those briefcases.
VINNIE: The Mafia's going to be real happy about this.
MIKE: Vinnie, I got jumped and almost ended up in the gutter.
MIKE: Those Trenton hoods aren't worried about crossing the Mafia.
VINNIE: No kiddin'? I'll make sure I bring this to their attention.

PAGER: Mike, it's payback time.  Get on back here. -Vinnie


2.5 - Mission 5: Payback

VINNIE: Okay, Mike. The Mafia doesn't like to be disrespected.
VINNIE: They want you to make an example of some hoods in Trenton.
MIKE: How about some backup on this one, Vinnie?
VINNIE: You losing your guts on me?
VINNIE: Don't make me regret helping you out when you had nothing.
VINNIE: Get out there.

After killing a guy and finding another guy

RAG: Play it smart, old man, and give me all your money.
RAG: Come back here, old timer!

After killing another guy

VINNIE: Nice work, Mike.  That tought some needed respect.
VINNIE: If I were you, I'd stay out of Trenton for a while.

PAGER: Come to the restaurant, Mike.  I need you to pick up a package.


2.6 - Mission 6: Fake IDs

Italian Restaurant

VINNIE: We're real close here, Mike, but before we can leave, we will need
VINNIE: some fake IDs.
VINNIE: The guy that runs the bomb shop, 8-Ball, is an old friend of mine.
VINNIE: He'll be able to hook you up.
VINNIE: He's probably hanging out at his pad right now.

At 8-Ball's place

8-BALL: So, you're a friend of Vinnie's, huh?
8-BALL: Here, take these and if you get caught, you didn't get them from
8-BALL: me, right?  And tell Vinnie we're even.
MIKE: Thanks, 8-Ball.  I'll be seeing you around.
PAGER: Damn, Mike, someone's ratted you out.  Watch out for the police!
PAGER: Make sure you lose them and meet me back at the restaurant. -Vinnie

Italian Restaurant after losing the cops

VINNIE: Alright, we're almost ready to get the hell out of this dump.
VINNIE: Let me finish up with these guys and we'll be ready to go.
VINNIE: I'll meet you over in Chinatown.

PAGER: Come to Chinatown, Mike.  It's time to leave this hellhole. -Vinnie


2.7 - Mission 7: Getaway

Chinatown

MIKE: I'm here on time.  Where the hell is Vinnie?
PAGER: Change of plans, Mike.
PAGER: Grab the getaway car from the hideout and meet me over in Callahan
PAGER: Point.  -Vinnie

After car blows up

MIKE: Oh my God! Vinnie!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
MIKE: Damn! Someone called the cops!  I gotta lay low for a while.
MIKE: Better head back to the hideout.

PAGER: Mike, stay away from your hideout, the cops are looking for you.
PAGER: Come to my pad in Portland Beach but lose the cops first! -8-Ball

8-Ball's place

8-BALL: Sorry to hear about Vinnie, man.  No one should go out like that.
8-BALL: I have some ideas who might be behind it but it will take some time.
MIKE: I still can't believe what just happened.
MIKE: What the hell am I going to do now?  Vinnie had all our money.
8-BALL: You can do a few tasks for me until you straighten things out.
8-BALL: Right now though, I need to bring what's left of that car back to my
8-BALL: pad.  I want to know who's making bombs on my turf.
8-BALL: I'll page you when I come up with something.

PAGER: I figured out what to do with Vinnie, Mike.  Come on back. -8-Ball


2.8 - Mission 8: Twisted Metal

8-Ball's place

8-BALL: We need to get rid of the body fast.
8-BALL: I know the fellows at the junkyard and they won't ask any questions.
8-BALL: I've got a junker outside that you can use.
8-BALL: It'd be fitting if you buried him in it.
8-BALL: I've put the body in the trunk so you take care of the rest.
MIKE: Doesn't seem right, getting rid of him like this.
8-BALL: Vinnie should count himself lucky.
8-BALL: You're the first person I met who gave a damn about him.
8-BALL: Now get moving.  He's starting to stink.

After crushing car

MIKE: Sorry Vinnie.  I'll get the bastards that did you in.
8-BALL: Good.  I know it's a tough business but that's how this game is played.
8-BALL: I'll let you know if I hear more about Vinnie's killer.

PAGER: Drive over to my pad, Mike.  Some lovely ladies need transport. -8-Ball


2.9 - Mission 9: Ill Repute

8-Ball's place

8-BALL: Hey Mike, I have a plan.  
8-BALL: I got some girls that we can put to work with some high-rolling
8-BALL: clients.
8-BALL: Pick them up separately before dropping them off to their johns.
8-BALL: If this doesn't give us a lead, nothing will.
MIKE: How will I recognize them?
8-BALL: It's pretty hard to miss these ladies, trust me.

Top left one

HO: Oh, so you're the new kid I've heard so much about!
HO: It's so sad what happened to Vinnie, he was a good tipper.

Bottom right one

HOOKER: I'm not used to guys as young as you, sweety.
HOOKER: Us women only get better with age.

Middle one

WHORE: I could use some time off of my feet.  You want a quickie, honey?

After dropping off last one

8-BALL: Good job.  Let's see what comes back.

PAGER: Come to my pad, Mike.  I need you to drop off a package. -8-Ball


2.10 - Mission 10: Droppin' Bombs

8-Ball's place

8-BALL: I got another job for you.
8-BALL: I am late with a shipment of supplies and there's a very unhappy
8-BALL: customer out there.
8-BALL: Do me a favor and deliver these goods to him.
8-BALL: Just be careful - This stuff is pretty volatile.
8-BALL: The car out back is all packed and ready to go.
MIKE: Err, what exactly do you mean by 'volatile'?
8-BALL: Put it this way - I wouldn't want to be on the same block as you if
8-BALL: you had an accident.  An early Fourth of July, Mike.

After dropping off car

BALDIE: Damn shipment's late!
BALDIE: Tell 8-Ball he slips up like this again and we'll slit his throat!
8-BALL: You saved my neck on this one, Mike.  Literally...

PAGER: Come to my pad, Mike.  I need you for a muscle job. -8-Ball


2.11 - Mission 11: Scorelli

8-BALL: A good friend of mine was put in the hospital by the thugs of a
8-BALL: two-timer named Scorelli.  Now it's payback time.
8-BALL: Take out some of his goons and steal Scorelli's car over in Harwood.
8-BALL: It's dangerous, but I know you can handle it.
MIKE: This wouldn't be one of the Mafia types that was meeting with my
MIKE: partner, Vinnie, would it?
8-BALL: Who knows?
8-BALL: Look - I know you're thirsting for blood, but don't think everybody
8-BALL: you see out on the street is the killer.
8-BALL: The girls will be back soon.  Let's see what they have to say first.
MIKE: It's hard to stay cool when I've got a score to settle, 8-Ball.
MIKE: Whoever is behind Vinnie's death made a fatal mistake by not taking me
MIKE: out with him.

After arriving

ELVIS: You'll never get out of here alive!

After killing Elvis and his goons

MIKE: That's what I thought.
PAGER: Great job, Mike but you're not done yet.
PAGER: Pick up Scorelli's car, spray paint it, and bring it back here. -8-Ball

At car

MIKE: Nothing to it.  Time to get it sprayed.  Damn, ambush!

After getting car sprayed

8-BALL: Nice work, Mike.  Bring her on back. -8-Ball

At 8-Ball's place

8-BALL: Damn straight, Mike.  That was one tough job.
8-BALL: Scorelli is pissed and I'm laughing my ass off.  Here's what I owe you.

PAGER: Come to my pad, Mike.  I've got a lead. -8-Ball


2.12 - Mission 12: Love Boat

8-Ball's place

8-BALL: One of the girls came back with a name.
8-BALL: Apparently, Vinnie was involved with a sleazy barman named Jonnie.
8-BALL: He runs a bar in the Red Light District and he's expecting Vinnie to
8-BALL: meet him at the docks today.
8-BALL: Watch out for him though, he's involved in all kinds of dodgy business.
MIKE: Thanks for your help, 8-Ball.
MIKE: You helped me out of a tight spot, let me know if I can return the favor.
8-BALL: Man, you don't owe me a thing.
8-BALL: Just keep your head in check and don't go vigilante on the world.

Portland Harbor

JONNIE: Who are you and where's Vinnie?
MIKE: Vinnie's dead.
MIKE: I'm his partner and I want to know what you know about his death.
JONNIE: Vinnie's dead?  I don't believe it.  That lousy lowlife owed me money.
JONNIE: His partner, eh?
JONNIE: Good, you can make up for his dept while I find out who did it.
JONNIE: Take me to my bar.

People show up

JONNIE: Shit, not the homecoming party I wanted.
JONNIE: Let's get the hell out of here.

After escaping

JONNIE: Nice job.  You lost them.  Take me back to the bar.

At bar

JONNIE: Somebody's got it in for me.  Take them out, Mike.  I'll wait here.

After killing guys

JONNIE: Thanks.  Come back later once I've got a handle on things.

PAGER: Come to the bar, Mike. -Jonnie


2.13 - Mission 13: Time's Up

Bar

JONNIE: I've got some annoyances that need taking care of.
JONNIE: Some lowlifes owe me money and their time is up.
JONNIE: Pay 'em a visit and make sure it's permanent.
MIKE: I'll take care of it.  Consider them buried.

Outside bar

MOHAWK: Jonnie sent you, huh?  I spit on that fat slob!

After killing mohawk

MIKE: Not so tough now, are you?

Bottom guy

THUG: Take my money, just leave me alone!

After killing thug

MIKE: Sorry, man.  I'll do whatever it takes to find Vinnie's killer.

Top right guy

PUNK: Think you can take me punk?!  How 'bout with some of my friends?

After killing punk and friends

MIKE: Score one more for the good guy... That's me.

Top left guy

BALDIE: Ahh, damn!  You can't just step to me on my basketball court!

After killing baldo

JONNIE: Not bad.  Those suckers never had a chance.
JONNIE: That'll send the message that nobody should mess with me.

PAGER: Bring wheels to the bar.  I got a mission for you. -Jonnie


2.14 - Mission 14: Sober Driver

JONNIE: I've got myself some hot action, but I can't be seen with her or her
JONNIE: dad will kill me.  Now she's drunk and needs to get home.
JONNIE: Make sure she gets back safe.
MIKE: I got it.  But tell me, how does this help my situation?
JONNIE: Her father is a bent polititian with good connections, so she's a good
JONNIE: start.  Besides, she can't get enough of me.

After she gets in the car

JGF: Baby, that's a slick ride!  I drive stick, you know.
MIKE: Not in your condition, you don't.
JGF: Take me to another club in Harwood.  I need another drink.
MIKE: I've got a bad feeling about this.

At Harwood bar

RAG: Hey honey!  Give me your money!
JGF: Help me!

After killing 2 guys

JGF: You saved me!  You know, my daddy could get you a cushy job in politics.
MIKE: I'm not cut out for politics.
MIKE: I don't backstab enemies, I get in their face.
JGF: You're just a thug, aren't you?  Take me home before I get angry.
JGF: Oh no!  My boyfriend Billy just spotted us and he's the jealous type.
JGF: Do me a favor and lose him.

After losing Billy

JGF: This car chase has made me sick.  Take me home before I puke.

After dropping her off

JGF: I don't take rejection well, but I suppose I should thank you for the
JGF: ride.
MIKE: Maybe next time when you're sober.
JONNIE: Way to go, Mike!
JONNIE: Stick with me and one day you can have a lady as hot as she is.

PAGER: Can you handle the hard stuff?  Come back to the bar. -Jonnie


2.15 - Mission 15: Happy Hour

Bar

JONNIE: Mike, I've got some stuff that needs collecting.
JONNIE: It's what I call my 'special' brew.
JONNIE: Take the monster truck out front and bring it all back.
JONNIE: I need it fast, so hurry.
MIKE: I'm surprised no one's gone blind on the crap you serve.
JONNIE: It's not my problem unless I get caught.  Now get going.

First spot

DUDE: This is volatile stuff.  I wouldn't be smokin' near it if I was you.

Second spot

BALDIE: I ran out of drain so I used some drainer fluid.  Just a bit, mind you.
BALDIE: Too much and it will send the customers to the bathrooms - permanently.

Third spot

GOATEE: This stuff is more powerful than what my grandfather used to make in
GOATEE: Russia.  He died young, you know.
MIKE: One more reason to quit.  I don't want to end up like these bums.

Fourth spot

MOHAWK: This stuff's the bomb!
MOHAWK: I forgot my wife's name after a few sips and found a girlfriend after
MOHAWK: a couple more!

Fifth spot

PUNK: This stuff will keep you warm enough to go outside naked, reminds me of
PUNK: my fraternity days.
PAGER: It's almost happy hour, Mike.  Hurry on back. -Jonnie

Bar

JONNIE: Nice job, Mike.
JONNIE: Now comes the tough job of pouring this brew into the fine label stuff.
JONNIE: Here's your payment.
MIKE: Looks like I got back just in time.
MIKE: There's some fidgeting lowlifes in here who've got the shakes.
JONNIE: Hey, be respectful, Mike.  These are my patrons.  Now scram, I'm busy.

PAGER: I've got a mission for you.  Head to the bar. -Jonnie


2.16 - Mission 16: Grand Opening

Bar

JONNIE: Hey, Mike.  Thanks for comin'.  
JONNIE: I got a real problem that's happening right across the street.
JONNIE: They're puttin' up a three-level disco called Diamond Sky and the grand
JONNIE: opening is tomorrow night.
JONNIE: It's going to attract the wrong type of clientele to the area, which
JONNIE: is bad for my business.
MIKE: Let me guess, you want me to torch the place.
JONNIE: Well if a certain car were to be placed at a certain spot and had a
JONNIE: major malfunction - I wouldn't be displeased.
JONNIE: Take the Idaho out front - it's a damn eyesore.
JONNIE: The windows were shattered by the bass vibrations coming out of that
JONNIE: place.
JONNIE: Drive the car over to 8-Ball's shop and keep it in reasonable
JONNIE: shape - he'll set you up.

In car

MIKE: This car's an embarassment.  It deserves a fiery death.

SLICK: Hey, Mike.  People 'round here call me Slick... probably 'cause I'm
SLICK: covered in grease most times.
SLICK: 8-Ball told me he's in a bit of a jam and is keeping a low profile.
SLICK: Don't ask me about the details because I don't know but he said he'd
SLICK: contact you.
MIKE: That's not like 8-Ball to be on the run.
MIKE: Something or someone must have him real spooked.
SLICK: He took off real quick... on to those car bombs, they're unstable.
SLICK: Try not to accidentally set the car on fire.

At Disco

PAGER: That's the place.  No second thoughts now, Mike.
PAGER: I'm paying you good money. -Jonnie

After blowing up Disco

PAGER: Shit, Mike.  That woke the neighbors.  The police are on to you. -Jonnie

After getting car sprayed

PAGER: Come back to the bar. -Jonnie

Bar

JONNIE: Nice job, Mike.  That was expertly handled.
JONNIE: I'll have something more for you soon.

PAGER: Mike, I'm in need of some serious firepower.
PAGER: Come back to the bar. -Jonnie


2.17 - Mission 17: Pocket Rocket

Bar

JONNIE: Mike, call me paranoid but I've been seeing some suspicious characters
JONNIE: driving by here and I don't like the looks of 'em.
JONNIE: Luckily, I have a solution.
JONNIE: There's some illegal cargo at the docks guarded by some weapon
JONNIE: smugglers.
JONNIE: If my informants are right, the cargo contains a rocket launcher.
JONNIE: Now, here's where you come in.
JONNIE: Take out the smugglers at the docks, secure the rocket launcher, and
JONNIE: bring it back to me.
JONNIE: Don't use it either - I need all the ammo.
MIKE: Sounds like a death wish but I'll do it.
MIKE: Hear anything more about Vinnie?
JONNIE: Yeah, I did hear something.
JONNIE: Doesn't seem that the Mafia had anything to do with Vinnie's death.
JONNIE: They got guys out looking for who killed him and something about money
JONNIE: owed to them.

Docks

MIKE: Ya gotta wonder about docks owned by foreigners.
MIKE: It makes the illegal arms trade easy... Damn!

After killing a few guys

MIKE: That wasn't so bad, back to the bartender... Hmm, wait.
MIKE: Looks like it's playtime again.

After killing the rest

PAGER: Bring that heavy heat back to the bar. -Jonnie

Bar

JONNIE: Sweet, Mike!
JONNIE: If I get any drive-bys, they'll be in for a nasty surprise.

PAGER: Come to the bar.  Let's talk politics. -Jonnie


2.18 - Mission 18: Political Will

JONNIE: You know anything about politics, Mike?
JONNIE: I hope you're still undeclared because I've got a situation.
JONNIE: This senator wants to ban smoking in restaurants and bars and he just
JONNIE: about has the votes to do it.
JONNIE: I don't have to tell you it'd be bad for business, do I?
JONNIE: Why don't you see if you can persuade the senator to change his mind.
MIKE: Why don't you start a petition to remove him instead?
JONNIE: I don't have the time or the patience.
JONNIE: Get moving before he makes it home.

After finding senator

SENATOR: Damn it, sergeant!  I'm not in bed with the special interest groups!
SENATOR: Hmm... is someone tailing us?

After damaging senator's limo

SENATOR: What is the meaning of this?  Who are you?
MIKE: Let's just say I'm a concerned citizen who wants to protect his right to
MIKE: smoke.
SENATOR: I'll not be intimidated!  Sergeant, arrest this man!
PAGER: Intimidate the senator.  Don't kill him. -Jonnie

After beating senator a little

SENATOR: Enough!  what do you want?
MIKE: It's simple really.
MIKE: Just make sure your anti-smoking bill isn't put to a vote... ever.
SENATOR: Done.  Now get the hell out of here.
PAGER: Lose the police before coming back. -Jonnie

Bar after losing the cops

JONNIE: Excellent work, Mike.
JONNIE: I'll still have to keep my eyes on the senator;  He showed he's got
JONNIE: some spirit.
JONNIE: You've got to respect a polititian who can keep his pants on.

PAGER: Come on back to the bar.  I need you to track someone down. -Jonnie


2.19 - Mission 19: Show The Money

Bar

JONNIE: This is it, Mike.
JONNIE: I got a lot of heat on me from people I'm in dept to.
JONNIE: I need to drum up some money fast.
JONNIE: This guy Freddy has been playing me for a fool with marked cards.
JONNIE: Make an example of him and bring back his loot.
MIKE: Tell me more about who's on to you and what this is about.
JONNIE: Let's just say I owe King Courtney over on Staunton several grand for
JONNIE: party favors.  His Yardies have been hounding me recently.

At destination

MIKE: I heard you made a lot of dough with marked cards.
MIKE: I'll take it easy on you if you give me ten thousand.
GANGSTER: So that sweaty mess of a bartender sent you, huh?
GANGSTER: Figure I owe him some back from the winnings I've taken.
GANGSTER: I can give you a thousand now or ten thousand if you give me a
GANGSTER: minute.
GANGSTER: If you take that pile of loot, I'll figure you're satisfied and
GANGSTER: won't come back.
MIKE: Hmm, should I play it safe or wait this out?

If you play it safe

MIKE: I'd better take the money and head back to the bar.  I smell an ambush.

If you wait

GANGSTER: Well, I decided I want to keep the cash after all.  Get him guys!
MIKE: That's the last mistake you'll make.  Hmm... I'm in trouble.

After killing guys (if you wait)

MIKE: The bastard only brought five thousand with him.
MIKE: Better head back to the bartender with the loot.

Bar (both)

MIKE: What the hell?
MIKE: It looks like a massacre, the bartender is lying in a pool of blood.
MIKE: I thought he was being paranoid about the danger he was in.
MIKE: Damn!  That's the sound of a car peeling out in a hurry.
MIKE: The bastards are trying to get away.


2.20 - Mission 20: Race To Run

Docks in Staunton

MIKE: Tell me why I don't just shoot you now?
MIKE: You're the goon that took out a friend of mine - the bartender.
MIKE: I tracked you here all the way from Portland.
KING: Easy, mon.
KING: Don't go spreading accusations about King Courtney when you don't know
KING: the deal.
KING: Yes, it was my men who went to the bartender's pad to collect some money
KING: owed to me but they're no murderers.
KING: When they got there, they found the man dead and came back here.
KING: Easy, mon, and tell me who you are.
MIKE: The name's Mike.  Now tell me more so I can believe you.
KING: I want to find the bastards as much as you do.
KING: Whatever money the bartender had was stolen.
KING: That's my money and I want it back.
KING: Do some favors for me and I'll help you track down the murderer.
KING: I have a prime opportunity for you.
KING: My normal driver has a bullet hole in his head - just before the most
KING: important race of the season, mon!
KING: It's against the Yakuza - the driver's a bit crazy and may try to ram
KING: you.
KING: The race happens on the walk-to-work day so there won't be much traffic
KING: around.
KING: If you do well, we'll shut the city down and let you drive a real
KING: formula one racing car!
MIKE: Hmm, formula one race, not what I expected but hey, maybe I'll get one
MIKE: of the babes to sit on my hood afterwards.

After race

KING: You're a qualifier, mon!
KING: You're ready for stepping it up and being a real race driver.
KING: Come back to my headquarters and I'll put the word to you.
PAGER: Mike, we're running out of time, get on back here! -King

Docks

KING: Mon... the pressure is high, higher than what I'm used to!
KING: We've got a formula one Jamaican driver coming in tomorrow for the
KING: Staunton Grand Prix.
KING: I need you to test drive his car for him.  The faster, the better!
MIKE: Sure thing, King.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'd be crazy
MIKE: to turn it down.  It's automatic, right?
KING: There are buttons on the wheel just like a computer game.
KING: Get on with your bad self!

After race

KING: You're blazing fast, mon.  Smoking red!
KING: The ladies are shouting your name, Mike!  Mike!
PAGER: Come to my pad, mon.  I need the Columbian coffee. -King


2.21 - Mission 21: Latin Coffee

KING: Mike, I have myself a problem that needs looking into.
KING: Those Cartel bastards are trying to take over my delivery routes.
KING: They want to run my livelihood!
MIKE: I can take care of this problem for you.  Any word on the killer?
MIKE: He took my partner Vinnie out too.
KING: Yes, mon.  No problem.  I'm looking in on the matter for you.
KING: That Vinnie was a nasty man, no doubt, he had it coming.
KING: I mean... I'll have something coming for you soon.
KING: Watch out for the Cartel - they are a nasty bunch!
MIKE: Whatever, Vinnie brought me out of the dumps and tought me how to take
MIKE: care of myself.  Keep looking into it.

After getting some coffee cans

PAGER: Irie, mon.  Keep moving on. -King

After getting some more

MIKE: Damn, one of those thugs is trying to slip away.

After killing thug

MIKE: There now, with this with this thug's death it'll keep the word from
MIKE: getting out to the whole city that I'm taking on the Cartel gang.

After picking up more coffee

MIKE: Caffeine sure makes my trigger finger itchy.
MIKE: Time to finish the rest of this bunch off.

After getting the rest

PAGER: Yes, mon.  Come back. -King

Docks

KING: Irie, mon.  You struck a serious blow to those Cartel bastards.
KING: You've got a future with me.

PAGER: Come to my headquarters, mon.
PAGER: Those Columbians are in for a rude surprise. -King


2.22 - Mission 22: The Big Score

Docks

KING: Okay, Mike.  I have what you're looking for.
KING: It's Cisco, the head of the Cartel - a bad character.
KING: He set your partner Vinnie up and took the bartender down.
KING: He's got a big meeting going on and you can make a major blow to his
KING: operations.  I'll send you a few men to back you up.
KING: All my troubles - and yours too, mon - will be taken care of.
MIKE: You only care about your own problems, King.
MIKE: This sounds like you're setting this guy up to take care of a turf war
MIKE: you got going on.
KING: Mon, this is business, plain and simple.
KING: I help you, you help me, we help each other - everybody's happy.
MIKE: I've got no one else to turn to but I warn you, don't double-cross me.
MIKE: You don't want me coming after you.

At car

MIKE: Well, well.
MIKE: I suppose I could wait and take them on the way back from the meeting.
MIKE: Where are those damn Yardies?

After killing guys

KING: Mon, you did good!  Real good!
KING: Those were Cisco's liutenants though, not the head man himself.
KING: Cisco's a sneaky devil, there's no denying it.
KING: Don't worry - We'll catch him real soon.

PAGER: Come to my headquarters, mon.  Cisco makes me so angry! -King


2.23 - Mission 23: Fine Dining

MIKE: So King, what happened to the backup you promised?
KING: I won't lie to you, Mike.  My men got caught in traffic is all.
KING: Urban sprawl, mon, and you pick rush hour to start your raid?
KING: Never mind, I've got a better plan.
KING: Cisco's been spotted at a restaurant nearby and you can have your
KING: revenge.  Box his face into a bloody mess with your hands!
KING: He has some bodyguards out front so look for another way in.
MIKE: King, this is the last mission I do for you.
MIKE: Cisco had better be the one or next time we meet, I'll be behind a
MIKE: barrel of a shotgun.
KING: Rest, mon!  You've got to lower your stress and go easy!
KING: Step on out, Cisco's waiting.

At destination

MIKE: Nice, tranquil place.  Perfect setting for a shoot-out.
MIKE: I could rush the few guards out front or look for another way in.

If you go around the back way

CISCO: I'm going out for a smoke!
CISCO: No, I don't need you watching me like a baby!
CISCO: Well... Hello there, amigo, may I provide you with some assistance?
MIKE: King Courtney seems to fear you but you don't look like too much to
MIKE: me, Cisco.
MIKE: Why don't you tell me a bit about my partner Vinnie and the bartender?
CISCO: Who the hell you think you are?
CISCO: You a dead man, amigo, you just don't know it yet.

After beating up Cisco (back)

CISCO: Ah, your hands are made of iron, amigo.
CISCO: I think it must have been that King Courtney that sent you against me.
CISCO: I tell you in truth that I don't know you or have anything against you
CISCO: or your associates.
MIKE: My partner Vinnie had a lot of money on him.
MIKE: That would make him a valuable target.
MIKE: Besides, I heard that you've been connected to a lot of bombings of late.
CISCO: Your ignorance is as obvious as a foul stench.
CISCO: I would have no involvement with such petty criminals, especially if
CISCO: they are as raggedly dressed as yourself.
MIKE: Cut the crap and stick to the subject.  Tell me who might be involved.
CISCO: Amigo, there are two gangs that would deal in this matter - the Yardies
CISCO: and the Yakuza.
CISCO: But first, let me tend to my woulds and change to my evening clothes
CISCO: before dealing in more pleasantries with you.  Follow me to my place.

If you rush the guards

PAGER: Cisco slipped out the back.  Get him! -King

After beating up Cisco (rush)

CISCO: Okay, loco!  That King Courtney speaks nothing but lies!
CISCO: What the hell would I want with this bartender or this partner of yours?
MIKE: My partner Vinnie had a lot of money on him.
MIKE: That would make him a valuable target.
MIKE: Besides, I heard that you've been connected to a lot of bombings of late.
CISCO: Your ignorance is as obvious as a foul stench.
CISCO: I would have no involvement with such petty criminals, especially if
CISCO: they are as raggedly dressed as yourself.
MIKE: Cut the crap and stick to the subject.  Tell me who might be involved.
CISCO: Amigo, there are two gangs that would deal in this matter - the Yardies
CISCO: and the Yakuza.
CISCO: But first, let me tend to my woulds and change to my evening clothes
CISCO: before dealing in more pleasantries with you.  Follow me to my place.

PAGER: Come to mi casa, amigo. -Cisco


2.24 - Mission 24: Flying High

CISCO: Mike, let me tell you something of my business.
CISCO: You're ignorant or even stupid perhaps, amigo, so I will speak slowly
CISCO: and simply.
CISCO: I'm involved in the airline business;  I love to travel and sit in the
CISCO: leather chairs of first
CISCO: class sipping martinis and looking at the lovely ladies.
CISCO: But where was I?  Oh yes, travel.
CISCO: Due to the tighter airline regulations and metal detectors, I've begun a
CISCO: business of designing shoes with heels that contain no metal and have a
CISCO: very comfortable air pocket in the middle.
MIKE: By 'air pocket' you mean, a place to store your drugs to smuggle into the
MIKE: country, don't you?
CISCO: This is a very delicate matter, amigo and it wounds me - much like you
CISCO: did recently in fact - to hear you speak so bluntly.
CISCO: These products are purely for economic reasons, deliver these supplies
CISCO: out front to three of my shops.
CISCO: We're in a fierce stuggle for market share with Ares, our main
CISCO: competitor, and they'd exploit any bad press.
CISCO: How does my face look today?  It feels puffy.
MIKE: You look like any other drug pusher in a fancy suit.  I'll be seeing you.

At first place

MAN: No one's going to buy these without an athelete's endorsement.
MAN: What is Cisco thinking?

At second place

BRO: Yes, the latest style.
BRO: People can put their IDs, keys, and other collectibles in the soles of
BRO: their shoes.  Brilliant!

In car

PAGER: My friend, watch out!  My competitor, Ares, has tipped off the
PAGER: cops. -Cisco

At third place

PAT: Ahh!  Knee-high boots with a 12-inch wooden heel!
PAT: Very popular among vertically challenged people.  Fabulous!
PAT: Tell Cisco I'll get to work on these right away once he pay's me for last
PAT: week's work.
MIKE: I don't know about what Cisco owes you, but I do know that if you don't
MIKE: do what he says, you'll end up dead in a gutter.
PAT: Rage all you want but I'm a stubborn gal!  The testoserone in some men!
PAT: Tell Cisco this - Pat won't do any of his dirty work until he gets what's
PAT: owed him!
MIKE: We'll see what Cisco has to say about this.

Back with Cisco

CISCO: Ah, amigo, you are back early I see.  Did you run into difficulties?
MIKE: Pat won't work on those knee-high boots you sent him until you pay up
MIKE: from last week.
CISCO: The nerve of some women!
CISCO: I tell you that back in my country, my word went unchallenged and my
CISCO: debts unpaid!
CISCO: What to do about this... A favorite family member, perhaps... Yes!
CISCO: Pat has a doggie she loves.
CISCO: I will kidnap this doggie - in the meantime, head over to a butcher's
CISCO: shop I own.
CISCO: Get some ground meat and stuff it into this pair of hollowed-out shoes.
CISCO: Tell her she'll meet her doggie's fate if she doesn't cooperate!
CISCO: Perhaps that will be incentive enough for her to continue her work!

At butcher's shop

MIKE: Cisco sent me to get some ground meat from you.
MIKE: Anything that looks like dog meat would work.
BUTCH: I don't want to know, so I won't even ask.
BUTCH: Here's a crate of day-old organic meat that went bad on me.
MIKE: Messy business, stuffing raw meat in a small hole.
MIKE: Poor Pat, I hope he doesn't break down on me.

After finding Pat

PAT: What's the meaning of this?  Shoes stuffed with raw meat?  Despicable!!
MIKE: Cisco sends his warning - next time it'll be you not your doggie in a
MIKE: blender.
PAT: Poochie?  My poor Poochie!!!  Raphael, Tomas, Georgie.
PAT: Lend me your hands.  Animal cruelty will not be tolerated!

After killing guys

MIKE: Man before beast, Pat.  Remember that.
CISCO: Amigo, I would cry in happiness for your success if I wasn't wearing
CISCO: silk.

PAGER: Pay your respects at my door, amigo. -Cisco


2.25 - Mission 25: Factory Wages

CISCO: I'll keep this simple to keep your head from hurting, amigo.
CISCO: There is a factory that is manufacturing aerial surveillance equipment
CISCO: for South American governments.
CISCO: You have some contacts in the explosives business, yes?
CISCO: Blow up this facility and I will reward you handsomely.
CISCO: You need to track down a technician who works there to get an ID card to
CISCO: avoid suspicion.
CISCO: Please be mindful of the surrounding area;  There are several boutiques
CISCO: I visit and I'd be angry if they were damaged.
MIKE: Sounds like some fancy footwork is required to pull this off.
MIKE: The reward better be worth it.
CISCO: Do not trouble yourself with such minor things.
MIKE: My life may not mean much to you but it's worth more than tip-toeing
MIKE: around some fancy boutiques.
MIKE: I'm sure you won't miss the fall line-up of clothes.

PAGER: Get him fast, amigo, before he escapes! -Cisco

After hitting guy's car

TECH: Ahh!  Somebody hit me.
TECH: Must be on their cellphone and not paying any damn attention.

After shooting guy

TECH: Who do you think you are?  I won't tell you a thing!
MIKE: It's fine by me if you stay quiet.
MIKE: I just need that ID clipped to your shirt.
TECH: Take the ID!  Just spare my life, please.
MIKE: Think, Mike!  Let him go or risk having him alert the authorities?

If you kill him

MIKE: Sorry guy.  Sometimes you have to be nasty to get through life.

If you let him go

MIKE: Kindness keeps the spirit young, Vinnie always said.
MIKE: Hmm, what the hell am I saying?

Driving (both)

PAGER: Make sure you have explosives for your car and head over to the
PAGER: factory. -Cisco

At factory (let him go)

MIKE: Damn, that technician must have warned the security guards that I was
MIKE: coming.  So much for being a nice guy...

After blowing up factory (both)

PAGER: Get away from the factory before witnesses gather. -Cisco

After leaving (both)

CISCO: Amigo, well done!
CISCO: You can now afford to replace the rags on your back with fine linen.

PAGER: Come to mi casa, amigo. -Cisco


2.26 - Mission 26: School's Out

CISCO: Amigo, I hope you do not have a fetish for young school girls.
CISCO: I want you to kidnap a young girl from in front of her school and bring
CISCO: her back to me.
CISCO: Track down her limo and jack it, don't leave any survivors.
CISCO: You need to pick Yuka up in the limo so her bodyguards won't suspect
CISCO: anything fishy.
MIKE: This can't be a normal school girl unless you need someone to teach you
MIKE: proper English?
CISCO: You're ignorance is like a cry of help from the dark - I am
CISCO: multi-tongued and speak five
CISCO: variations of Spanish.
CISCO: She is the niece of Asuka, the boss of the Yakuza.
CISCO: They aren't allowing me to move my merchandise in their area of town.
CISCO: Do this thing for me and be nice to the girl;  They have such lovely
CISCO: uniforms.
CISCO: It reminds me of my childhood where everyone had a text book and...
MIKE: Spare me the reminiscing, I'll do it.
CISCO: How rude you are, amigo.
CISCO: I have no time to discipline you unfortunately.
CISCO: Yuka will be out of school shortly and waiting for her limo.
(note that 'you're ignorance' is supposed to be 'your ignorance', but that's
how it's said in the game)

After getting limo

PAGER: Fix the limo up at the Pay 'N' Spray, amigo! -Cisco

After getting it sprayed

PAGER: Pick Yuka up at her school.
PAGER: Drive safely and say nice things to her, amigo. -Cisco

At school

YUKA: Konnichiwa!  Ehh... You're not my driver... and you're not Japanese!
YUKA: Why isn't my driver here?
MIKE: Let's just say that he's indisposed... indefinately.
MIKE: Ready to take a ride?
MIKE: We can do this the nice way or the not-so-nice way.
MIKE: Stay down, keep quiet, and be a good girl and you'll be alright.
MIKE: Otherwise, I tape you up and use a gag.
YUKA: You're one of those bad men that my Aunt Asuka watches movies
YUKA: about, aren't you?  Don't touch me and I'll behave.
MIKE: That's the spirit, Yuka.  I'll be sure you aren't harmed by my employer.

Driving back

PAGER: You've been spotted, amigo!
PAGER: Lose your tails and then come back here with the girl. -Cisco

Back at Cisco's

CISCO: Amigo, you have operated above the threshold of what little
CISCO: intelligence you have.  You are to be congratulated!
CISCO: Unfortunately, I see no further use for your service but I wish you
CISCO: good fortune.  Until we meet again.
MIKE: Don't worry about me;  I'll find work.
MIKE: Tell me something though - what happens to the girl?
CISCO: It is of no concern to you, amigo.
CISCO: She will prove useful for blackmailing Asuka, of that I have no doubt.
MIKE: The kid's innocent.  Make sure nothing happens to her.
MIKE: You don't want to cross me in this, Cisco.

PAGER: Moshi Moshi, Mike-san.  I've heard a lot about you.
PAGER: I want us to meet up close and personal.  Ja ne. -Asuka


2.27 - Mission 27: Kid's A Hero

ASUKA: My, my... Aren't you a handsome one?
ASUKA: I wouldn't have expected it with the reputation you have of being a
ASUKA: cold-blooded killer.
ASUKA: I've heard a lot about you and if my sources are correct, you're the
ASUKA: right man for the job I have.
ASUKA: My niece has been kidnapped and her abductors have demanded an
ASUKA: outrageous fee.
ASUKA: I want you to track her down by any means necessary and rescue her.
MIKE: Sounds like a job for a real professional.
MIKE: I hope you have more than stuffed animals and electronics to pay me with.
ASUKA: If you do this for me, you will be rewarded beyond your darkest
ASUKA: fantasies.
MIKE: I'm not sure I like the sound of that but I'll do it under one condition.
MIKE: I'm tracking down those responsible for my partner Vinnie's death and I
MIKE: need any information you can get about the slime bags who specialize in
MIKE: making bombs.
ASUKA: Mike-san, such tragedy makes me ache inside.
ASUKA: I'll put my men on it right away.
ASUKA: Now, back to the business at hand.
ASUKA: There's a drop off spot for the initial sum of twenty thousand.
ASUKA: Take this briefcase, make the delivery, and then see what you can find
ASUKA: out about Yuka.
MIKE: This is my lucky day.
MIKE: I know where Yuka is being kept but what to do about this money?

At destination

THUG: Don't make any sudden moves or you're a dead man!
THUG: Put the briefcase down and then get the hell out of here.
THUG: Tell Asuka she made the right move.
MIKE: Easy on the trigger, man.  You're not going to get away with this.
MIKE: You picked the wrong woman to cross.
THUG: Tell Asuka she's doing the right thing.  Appeasement pays!

At new destination

MIKE: Hmm, guards out front.
MIKE: Better try around back and rescue Yuka as soon as I can.

At bus

MIKE: Damn!  One of the guards must have the key to the bus.
MIKE: Hmm... Looks like they spotted me.

After getting key

MIKE: Hmm... Looks like a key.

In bus

YUKA: Ahh!  Mike-sama, how are you?
YUKA: I knew you wouldn't leave me at the mercy of these mean men!
YUKA: You're my hero!
MIKE: Hi Yuka.  I hope they've been treating you okay.
MIKE: We're not in the clear yet.
MIKE: Hold on and I'll see you get back to your aunt's place safely.
YUKA: My aunt is going to be so happy to see me!
YUKA: She always has a present waiting for men who please her.
YUKA: I wonder why she places it on the bed and gets her whip out?
PAGER: Kuso!  Get back here as soon as you can. -Asuka

At Asuka's

ASUKA: Yokatta!  You've returned my sweet, darling Yuka to me, Mike-san.
ASUKA: You have my thanks...
ASUKA: Perhaps I could express them more intimately inside my bedroom?
ASUKA: Tell me, have you ever felt the crack of a whip across your back?
MIKE: I can't say that I have, Asuka.
MIKE: I'm going to leave you to your toys and keep my skin intact.  See you.

PAGER: Be a darling and drop by my place, Mike-san. -Asuka


2.28 - Mission 28: Ante Up

ASUKA: Hello, Mike-san.  You behaved above normal male ability, haven't you?
ASUKA: I want you to play mean with a naughty casino owner who hasn't been
ASUKA: paying his protection money.
ASUKA: Either get the money or light up his place.
MIKE: I didn't realize you have such a hard streak in you, Asuka.
ASUKA: Ahh, you haven't seen me at my naughtiest yet.
ASUKA: Don't disappoint me and you won't be punished.
MIKE: I'll try.  Say hi to Yuka for me.

At casino

OWNER: I'm sorry sir, you must have white gloves in order to play the pachinko
OWNER: machines.
MIKE: I'm not here to play games, guy.
MIKE: Asuka sent me to collect the money you owe her.
OWNER: That she-devil!  She's wearing me dry!
OWNER: I can't afford her and the cops that are taking a piece of my action.
OWNER: I tell you what, you take down this cop that's been shaking me and I'll
OWNER: pay Asuka what I owe her.  Is it a deal?
MIKE: I'll give it some thought.  Better have the money when I get back.
MIKE: Should I take out the corrupt cop like this guy wants?
MIKE: Might just be easier to blow the place...

If you blow up the place

MIKE: Burn, baby, burn!  Sorry chump, but I work for Asuka, not you.
PAGER: Mike-san, better outrun the cops for a while.  Ato de. -Asuka

After getting car sprayed (blow up)

ASUKA: It's a pity he wouldn't listen to reason and you had to torch the place.
ASUKA: However, it sends a cautionary message to the rest who are under my
ASUKA: protection.  Thank you, Mike-san!

If you pop a cop

PIG: Hey, mister!  You made me spill my coffee all over my donuts!
PIG: I'd write you a ticket but I've already met my quota for the week...
PIG: Okay, mister.  You've got some explaining to do down at the station.
PIG: You're coming with me.
PAGER: Better hide your scent by getting your car painted, Mike-san.
PAGER: Gonbatte! -Asuka

After getting car sprayed (cop)

MIKE: Time to collect from the casino owner.  That bastard better pay up.

Back at casino (cop)

OWNER: I heard all about over the local news!
OWNER: Here's the money for Asuka and some for you for helping me out.
MIKE: Just keep the balls polished and the money flowing at a regular
MIKE: rate, guy.
MIKE: Asuka's going to be pleased that I managed to get her the money without
MIKE: blowing up the place.  Better grab the briefcase and get back to her.

Back at Asuka's (cop)

ASUKA: Mike-san, you've done very well.  I hope it wasn't too difficult?
ASUKA: Next time don't be so nice though.  I want you to take firmer actions.
ASUKA: Yes, firm...
MIKE: Don't worry about my ability to play hard when I have to.
MIKE: See you around.

After beating mission (both)

PAGER: Mike-san, come see me up close and personal.  Do you like sports?
PAGER: I have a mission for you. -Asuka


2.29 - Mission 29: Two-Hand Toss

ASUKA: Mike-san, I find myself growing fonder for you minute by minute.
ASUKA: I've grown attached to you and want you for all my bloody missions.
ASUKA: As you know, I have my hands involved in gambling and one important area
ASUKA: is sports.
ASUKA: Now the Vice City Mambas are coming into town and our hometown
ASUKA: favorites - the Liberty City Cocks - are the heavy underdogs.
ASUKA: If Vice's quarterback were to suffer a broken arm, I could stand to gain
ASUKA: a lot from the early betting.
MIKE: I take it you only want me to injure the quarterback and not kill
MIKE: him, right?
ASUKA: That's right, darling - no guns, just hand-to-hand or a baseball bat if
ASUKA: you feel intimidated.
ASUKA: Oh, and leave the rest of the players alone... they have to be able to
ASUKA: field a full roster come Sunday.

At stadium

FBALL: Please!  No autographs while I'm practicing.  The nerve of some fans.
MIKE: I'm going to autograph your face with my knuckles, jockstrap.
FBALL: Oh, no you didn't!
FBALL: You think I'm going to let that one go cause I'm afraid of some
FBALL: multi-million dollar lawsuit?  Here comes... the thunder!

After beating him a little

FBALL: Dammit!  You broke my arm!  My quarterback days are through!
FBALL: What will I do now?
MIKE: Hire a speech coach and become an announcer.
MIKE: Better pull your team back or I'll unleash... the lightning!
PAGER: Yatta!  Good job, Mike-san.
PAGER: Leave the quarterback alone now and come back to me. -Asuka
ASUKA: Mike-san, nicely done!
ASUKA: The police report said they reported it as a result of practicing
ASUKA: without pads.
ASUKA: They must have been embarassed to have been beaten by a lone guy.
ASUKA: Go Cocks!

PAGER: Mike-san, come to me quickly!
PAGER: Man knows no wrath like a woman scorned! -Asuka


2.30 - Mission 30: Scorned Lover

ASUKA: Mike-san, you wouldn't dare spurn my womanly advances, would you?
ASUKA: Well that's exactly what Biff Rock, the movie star, did to me!
ASUKA: I don't take kindly to rejections.  I want him dead!
MIKE: Hmm, movie stars normally have bodyguards around them.
MIKE: This is going to cost you and I want to hear some info about my parner
MIKE: and the bartender's deaths soon.
ASUKA: My agents are tracing every lead down, you can be sure.
ASUKA: Oh, one more thing.
ASUKA: Bring me back his alligator shoes - a memento to remember him by.
MIKE: I'll be dead before I let her reminisce about me like that... eh, yeah.

At place

MIKE: Hmm, looks like they're in the middle of shooting a scene.
WHORE: Why you doin' this to me, Jonnie?  Don't you know I love you?
BIFF: Love is touch, Mary.  That's why I gotta put you down.
BIFF: Dammit, I forgot to kiss her first!
BIFF: I can't get into my character role with these constant distractions!
BIFF: Please remove this drifter from the set.

After killing extras

BIFF: Cut!  Cut!  Fantastic, we got it all on film!  Kid, you were amazing!
BIFF: All that violence and blood!  And it's real!
BIFF: Hollywood will never know...I tell you what, I'm going to make you a big
BIFF: star, what do you say?
MIKE: Never thought much of fame and my reputation's too tarnished for me to
MIKE: become a polititian.
MIKE: I'll make you a deal though, give me those alligator shoes of yours and
MIKE: I'll give you the rights to the footage.
BIFF: Done.  You'll love this next scene where Liberty City rises up against
BIFF: Mary's killer.  That's you, kid.  Roll tape... action!
MIKE: You've got to admire a guy who's willing to turn Asuka down even if he's
MIKE: a member of the 'Give America Back to Foreign Powers' lobbyist group.
MIKE: Enjoy your freedom away from Asuka, Biff.
PAGER: Stop acting like a movie star, Mike-san!  Get out of there!
PAGER: Lose the police before coming back. -Asuka

At Asuka's

ASUKA: Ahh, K-chan, you amaze me with your success.  Let me see the shoes!
ASUKA: Ahh, beautiful!  Come with me to my trophy case in my bedroom...
MIKE: I'd rather not.
MIKE: What interests me is hearing more about leads you have to the assassin's
MIKE: identity.
ASUKA: You disappoint me, K-chan but no matter.
ASUKA: The assassin you are looking for is the same that is responsible for
ASUKA: your partner Vinnie's death.  I'm tracking down his location now.
ASUKA: As soon as I know, you'll know.

PAGER: Mike-san, I got a fishy problem.  Come soon! -Asuka


2.31 - Mission 31: Sue Me Sushi

ASUKA: Mike-san, do you smell that odor?
ASUKA: That's the smell of rotten blowfish and someone's been delivering it to
ASUKA: my chain of sue-me sushi restaurants.
ASUKA: I want you to track down the culprit and bring him back here.
ASUKA: Make sure you bring his truck with the evidence back here;  I can use
ASUKA: it against the fisherman's union.
ASUKA: Be quick about it, I can't afford the lawsuits that are piling up.
MIKE: What do I do with the innocent drivers?
ASUKA: By all means, do your best to apologize and I'll compensate them for
ASUKA: their troubles.
ASUKA: Of course if they resist, you have my permission to bloody your hands
ASUKA: on them.
ASUKA: Fistfights will be tolerated by the fisherman's union but anything more
ASUKA: vicious and I'll have hell to pay.
MIKE: I'm curious, what's the fascination with blowfish?
ASUKA: Done properly, it provides a pleasant numbness to the lips.
ASUKA: Let me show you what I mean, darling.
MIKE: I don't mix business with pleasure, Asuka.
MIKE: Perhaps when you're done with my services.
ASUKA: You're no fun, Mike-san!  You can't resist my charms for much longer...

At first truck

DUDE: What the hell you hit my truck for?
MIKE: Just stand back for a bit while I check your truck... Hmm, everything
MIKE: looks okay.  Sorry about the confusion.
DUDE: Confusion?  I'll show you confusion, punk.
DUDE: I'm going to kick the crap out of you until you forget your name.

After punching dude

DUDE: You damn broke my jaw, punk.
DUDE: You can have the damn fish, it ain't worth fighting over.

At second truck

OLD: What's going on here, sonny?  You crazy or something?
MIKE: Easy guy, I need to cargo... no, you're clean - everything looks good.
OLD: Look clean?  Hell, what's that got to do with anything?
OLD: Boy, I'm going to rearrange your pretty-boy face.

After punching him

OLD: Damn lucky punch, son!
OLD: I haven't had a shellacking like this since my third wife.
OLD: We'll see what the police think of all this.
MIKE: That only leaves one suspect.
MIKE: I hope he's the culprit, I'm sick of muckin' around in these blasted
MIKE: fish trucks!

At third truck

GOATEE: What's the big idea of tailgating?
GOATEE: I have a very busy schedule and no time for this!
MIKE: Calm down, guy.  This will only take a second.  Hmm... what's that smell?
MIKE: It's stinky fish!  You're the one delivering bad blowfish!
GOATEE: Damn you and your meddling!
GOATEE: The Yardies put me up to this... it wasn't my idea!
MIKE: King Courtney's up to his old tricks, huh?  You're coming with me.
GOATEE: You'll never take me alive.  Ha!  Ha!

After hurting him

GOATEE: You win!
GOATEE: I give up... I'm probably going to my slaughter with Asuka but I'll
GOATEE: take my chances.

At Asuka's

ASUKA: Mike-san, you're amazing!
ASUKA: You've brought that bastard back to me alive and in one piece!
MIKE: He didn't come willingly but he came.
MIKE: He didn't think much of his chances of mercy from you.
ASUKA: Oh but I am merciful!
ASUKA: First, I'll pluck out his eyes so he doesn't see himself being fed to
ASUKA: the blowfish.
MIKE: You're one sick lady, Asuka.  I'll be seeing you around.

PAGER: Mike-san, what do you know of the import-export business?
PAGER: Come see me. -Asuka


2.32 - Mission 32: Down The River

ASUKA: Mike-san, I'm quite upset.
ASUKA: I run a profitable import-export business and the Mafia seems to want a
ASUKA: piece of my pie, so to speak.
MIKE: What do you want me to do about it?
ASUKA: Well, I thought to make an object lesson out of a few of their thugs.
ASUKA: I want to set up an indentured servant ring in east Asia and I want you
ASUKA: to round up Mafia 'volunteers'.
ASUKA: Take this katana;  It's a family heirloom.
ASUKA: 'Enlist' as many Mafia thugs as you can with it and we'll send them out
ASUKA: on a cargo ship tonight.
ASUKA: I expect at least fifteen Mafia thugs but will reward you handsomely if
ASUKA: you bring me more, Mike-san.
MIKE: You have a cruel sense of retribution, Asuka.
MIKE: Remind me never to cross you.

At first place

MIKE: Time to teach these Mafia thugs a lesson in revisionist history.
MAFIA: Hey wise guy, don't think I won't forget your face!
MIKE: Hmm... I'm not too sure how to take that.  Get in the truck.
MIKE: Better drop this rowdy bunch off at the docks before hunting for more.

At docks

MALE: Asuka sent me to supervise the operation.
MALE: It'll just take a few moments to get these chumps onboard.

At second place

MIKE: Here comes the American-born samurai!  Banzai!  Or something...
ITALIAN: What's this all about?  A free trip?
ITALIAN: I've never been out of my neighborhood.
MOBSTER: Hey tough guy!
MOBSTER: You think you can get away with the slaughter you just caused?
MIKE: Well, if I don't leave any witnesses alive, I might have an even chance.
MOBSTER: You're crazy, princess!  You're on top of the Mafia's hit list now.
MOBSTER: We'll be back.
MIKE: I can't work for this mad woman anymore.  She's going to get me killed.
MIKE: Time to drive the truck over to the docks and introduce these Mafia
MIKE: thugs to their new lives.
PAGER: Time to set sail, Mike-san!
PAGER: Bring the scum you've captured to the docks before the freighter leaves
PAGER: port. -Asuka

At docks again (if you get just 15)

ASUKA: Let us see what you have brought me, Mike-san.
ASUKA: I count 15, unfortunate Mafia thugs.
ASUKA: I have accomplished my goal of sending the Mafia a warning.
ASUKA: Incursions into my territory will not be permitted.

At docks again (if you get 16-18)

ASUKA: Ahh, Mike-san.  How many poor Mafia souls have you brought me?
ASUKA: (#) Mafia thugs, that's more than I'd expected.  Good work.
ASUKA: The first blow has been made.
ASUKA: The Mafia will think twice before invading my territory again.
(# = number of thugs you get obviously)

At docks again (if you get 19, I haven't tried 20+ but it's probably possible)

ASUKA: March them off to the freighter, Mike-san.
ASUKA: An ironic sight, don't you agree?
ASUKA: I count 19 Mafia thugs here.  Amazing!
ASUKA: You deserve much more than the usual pay, Mike-san, some extra cash and
ASUKA: my car.  The Mafia will be infuriated at losing so many of their men!

Pager (no matter how many)

PAGER: Mike-san, let me introduce you to the pleasures of the snack bar. -Asuka


2.33 - Mission 33: Bad Pimpin'

ASUKA: Mike-san, I have the information you've been waiting for.
ASUKA: It's about the bomber who had his dealings with your partner Vinnie.
ASUKA: There is, however, one thing you must do before I give you this
ASUKA: information.
ASUKA: There's a pimp in town who's been stalking my working girls and causing
ASUKA: havoc to my hostess
ASUKA: business.
ASUKA: Take him out and then report back here for the information I promised.
MIKE: All this trouble over one pimp?
MIKE: Why don't you send one of your regular goons?
MIKE: And what the hell is a snack bar?
ASUKA: This guy's no pushover and my people are having to deal mostly with the
ASUKA: gang war between the Mafia and us.
ASUKA: In Japan, snack bars are hostess clubs where you can go to get a quick
ASUKA: nibble and sing karaoke.
MIKE: I still don't see what snacks, girls, and karaoke have to do with each
MIKE: other but whatever.
MIKE: Very well I'll do this but it's the last job I do for you, Asuka.
MIKE: After this, I'm going my own way.
ASUKA: I don't see how you can live without me, Mike-san.
ASUKA: We'll see what happens.

At place

MIKE: Time to slap that pimp around and rescue some hookers in distress.
MIKE: A modern day fairy tale.
HO: I ain't gonna work for you, pimp.  Get your hands off me!  Help!  Help!
HOOKER: If this were in Nevada, this crap would be legal... What the hell?
HOOKER: Damn, pimp, leave me alone!
WHORE: I came here to become a star, now look at me, Mike!
WHORE: We coulda been good together.
PAGER: Nicely done, Mike-san.  Hurry home to me, darling. -Asuka

At Asuka's

ASUKA: Mike-san, you've satisfied every desire I've asked of you.
ASUKA: I have one last request before you leave me, perhaps forever.
MIKE: No, Asuka!  I haven't any patience for more negotiation.
MIKE: Tell me about the bomber and then I'm out of here!
ASUKA: Mike-san, be a good boy and listen.
ASUKA: I've lusted for you from the moment I saw you.
ASUKA: Come to me in my bedchamber... Unless, that is, you're not attracted to
ASUKA: the opposite sex?
MIKE: No man can resist that challenge.
MIKE: Lead on... Leave the whips on the wall though.
MIKE: I can't feel my legs.
MIKE: Gotta concentrate and think mean, violent thoughts.
MIKE: Okay bomber, I'm coming for you now.

At other place

MIKE: Damn, what a mess.  Looks like somebody beat me to him.
MIKE: What the hell am I going to do now?
MIKE: Wait a second, there's a message on his pager: 'I need another job like
MIKE: the Callahan Point bombing.
MIKE: Meet me on Shoreside in the Wichita Garden District.'  Callahan Point?
MIKE: Sounds like he's talking about the car bomb that killed Vinnie.
MIKE: Well, this is the only lead I have.  I'd better go check it out.
PAGER: Taihen, Mike-san!  The Mafia knows you're behind their men being
PAGER: captured.  Better flee to Shoreside!  Suki -Asuka
PAGER: The police are after you for the bomber's murder!  Watch out! -Asuka

PAGER: Come to the Wichita Gardens District.
PAGER: We need to discuss the job I need done. -Xox
PAGER: Amigo, you are headed for a trap.
PAGER: Come to my headquarters at the airport and I'll explain. -Cisco


2.34 - Mission 34: Mystery Killer

If you go to Cisco

MIKE: This is a nice getup you've got here, Cisco.
MIKE: You look ready to flee at a moment's notice.
MIKE: Who'd you blackmail this time?
CISCO: Mike, mi amigo, it has been too long.
CISCO: Regrettably, I see that time has done nothing to improve your manners or
CISCO: your sense of fashion.  Where was I?  Oh yes, a trap.
CISCO: It seems that a number of people want to see you dead.
MIKE: Tell me something I don't know, like how'd you come to know about this
MIKE: supposed 'ambush'?
CISCO: Amigo, you wound me deeply and I would have you beaten but, as you can
CISCO: see, this is a virgin
CISCO: wool rug and much too pricey for your blood.
CISCO: The bomber was someone in my employ and I want to find out as much as
CISCO: you do why he was killed and who did it.
CISCO: Besides, you can prove useful to me once more.
CISCO: I'll send you some men to help if this meeting does indeed turn out to
CISCO: be an ambush.
MIKE: You seem at a loss like everybody else about who's behind this.
MIKE: I'd better track down the one lead I have, whether it's a trap or not.

At Wichita Gardens (Either first, or after you talk to Cisco)

HAT: He told me you'd show up but I didn't believe it.
HAT: He said you were direct and didn't care much for subtlety.
MIKE: Who's 'he'?  And what the hell is this about?
MIKE: Are you working for the guy who killed the bomber?
HAT: How perceptive of you, perhaps you're not as dumb as he led me to believe.
HAT: As far as his identity, well he didn't say.
HAT: Perhaps you'll find out after we send you to hell.  Get him boys!
MIKE: We'll see who's the fool here.
MIKE: I'm not alone and helpless like you thought!  Lets get it on...

After killing guys (both)

PAGER: Come to my headquarters at the airport. -Cisco

At Cisco's headquarters (if you went straight to Wichita Gardens)

CISCO: Amigo, you are alive!  Did I not warn you?
CISCO: Did I not say what a devious, horrible trap they had waiting for you?
CISCO: You must see my tailor, you're clothes are filthy and you smell like a
CISCO: beast.  Please do not sit down or I will shoot you.
MIKE: It's good to see you too, Cisco.  Not a bad place you've got here.
MIKE: Why the change in location?
CISCO: Asuka didn't take kindly to my botched kidnapping attempt of Yuka and I
CISCO: thought it'd be wise to be close to the airport to make a fast escape.
CISCO: Ha!  I fooled you for a second, didn't I?
CISCO: You thought of me as a coward, as some sissy boy.
CISCO: No, amigo, I am here to track down the assassin that has taken out the
CISCO: bomber.  I will provide you with whatever assistance I can.
MIKE: It's strange, they made it sound like this assassin knew who I was.
MIKE: I'll see you around, Cisco.
(note that they say "you're" instead of "your" again, it's not my typo)

At Cisco's headquarters (if you did see Cisco first)

CISCO: Amigo, I hope my men proved useful to you.
CISCO: Sometimes they are in awe of better men and stay back in the shadows of
CISCO: their superiors.
CISCO: I don't like to label such things as cowardice but less refined people
CISCO: might state it as such.
MIKE: I'll say this: they managed to frighten a few civilians and not run away.
MIKE: Thanks for the help.  What brings you to Shoreside, Cisco?
CISCO: Asuka didn't take kindly to my botched kidnapping attempt of Yuka and I
CISCO: thought it'd be wise to be close to the airport to make a fast escape.
CISCO: Ha!  I fooled you for a second, didn't I?
CISCO: You thought of me as a coward, as some sissy boy.
CISCO: No, amigo, I am here to track down the assassin that has taken out the
CISCO: bomber.  I will provide you with whatever assistance I can.
MIKE: It's strange, they made it sound like this assassin knew who I was.
MIKE: I'll see you around, Cisco.

Pager (both)

PAGER: Amigo, we are in a bubonic plague epidemic.
PAGER: Bring your mask and come quickly!


2.35 - Mission 35: Decoy Disaster

CISCO: Amigo, you must have heard the news?
CISCO: The city has been labeled as being bubonic plague-infected and business
CISCO: has been severely affected.
CISCO: Amigo, I need you to be my decoy this afternoon as I attend an important
CISCO: conference on the effect of bubonic plague on inner-city crime.
CISCO: My position is that we should help fund the research that is being
CISCO: developed by the government while some of my competitors are more
CISCO: interested in stealing the vaccine after it's completed.
CISCO: There will be some effort to stop me from attending this drug
CISCO: conference.
CISCO: Business is hurting too much and we need to find a solution right away!
MIKE: I hadn't realized you were such a concerned citizen, Cisco, or that you
MIKE: were even a citizen.
CISCO: I am a proud, illegal alien and I have an identity card provided by the
CISCO: Mexican government to prove it.
CISCO: It makes little difference that I'm Columbian, another fact to be proud
CISCO: of.  Back to business.
CISCO: I'll provide you a map of the route I'd like you to take while I, of
CISCO: course, take a much safer one.
CISCO: Stay in the car to keep the disguise up!  Good luck, amigo.
MIKE: I didn't quite follow all that, Cisco, but it sounds like you have the
MIKE: right intentions.
MIKE: If there are any fuzzy dice I'm throwing them out before I get started.

In car

PAGER: Pull out to the main road, amigo.
PAGER: Remember, don't take too long or they'll become suspicious
PAGER: and don't blow your cover! -Cisco
PAGER: Watch out, amigo!
PAGER: The Yardies are after me, I mean you... Yes, you really. -Cisco
PAGER: Oh, amigo, I've heard the hoods are scheming against me too.
PAGER: Be careful. -Cisco
PAGER: Amigo, I'm sorry to inform you of another grievous betrayal.
PAGER: The Mafia are on to you. -Cisco
MIKE: Alright, that should've given Cisco enough time to get to the conference.
PAGER: Bravo, amigo!
PAGER: I have reached the meeting in complete safety... What else?
PAGER: Oh yes, my sources say the mystery assassin is hiding out in Pike
PAGER: Creek. -Cisco

At Pike Creek

RAG: I'm afraid you're one step behind the boss, Mike.
RAG: He's taking care of a little business with a Columbian who's been giving
RAG: him headaches.
RAG: I think you know the one - Cisco's his name?
MIKE: I'm in a good mood today so I'll offer you a deal.
MIKE: Tell me who your boss is and what he wants, and I'll let you live.
RAG: You're an arrogant punk, aren't you?
RAG: You're in no situation to be giving orders.
RAG: Say hello to my gang.
MIKE: Bad mistake.  You'll die like the rest... I'd better take 'em out fast
MIKE: and help out Cisco.

After killing guys

MIKE: Damn, I hope that guy was lying about Cisco.
MIKE: I was actually starting to like the man.


2.36 - Mission 36: Truth Revealed

MIKE: Damn, it's a slaughter.
MIKE: Poor Cisco, you just wanted to sell your drugs in peace and retire with
MIKE: millions in the bank.
MIKE: So much for keeping your carpet clean, my friend.
MIKE: 8-Ball told me not to go vigilante on the world but now I'm taking the
MIKE: gloves off.  Anybody and everybody that gets in my way is going down.
MIKE: Damn, that car's getting away!
MIKE: I'd better take care of this welcoming committee first though.

After killing guys

MIKE: I'd better track down that car that got away.
MIKE: Whoever is behind this has got a lot to answer for.

After ramming car

MIKE: Vinnie!  I don't believe my eyes.  I saw you blow up in your car!
VINNIE: Mike, I've told you before - don't believe everything you see.
VINNIE: I'm impressed with you, I wish I didn't have to see you up close one
VINNIE: last time.
MIKE: Tell me why, Vinnie!  Why'd you betray me?
MIKE: I would have done anything for you!
VINNIE: I was in the game too long, Mike.
VINNIE: Any morals I had died a long time ago.
VINNIE: You're just a dumb, gullible kid.
VINNIE: I don't want to share the money with you, plain and
VINNIE: simple... Goodbye, Mike.

After killing guys

MIKE: I'm coming for you, Vinnie.
VINNIE: Mike!  Let's talk about this!  I'll split the money with you.  Please!!
VINNIE: You know you don't have the heart to take me out.
MIKE: That's where you're wrong, Vinnie.  I'm not that kid you remember me as.
MIKE: I've had to do more despicable things trying to track down your killer
MIKE: that I've become like you Vinnie... like you.
VINNIE: Mike, don't do this!
VINNIE: You take me out and every two-bit thug with an eye for quick cash will
VINNIE: still come after you!  You think you can get away with my money?
VINNIE: You'll be dead before you reach the city limits.
MIKE: I'll take your money and your life now, scum.  You're nothing to me.
MIKE: Goodbye, Vinnie.

After killing Vinnie

MIKE: He's dead.
MIKE: The only friend I thought I could count on in this God-forsaken city.
MIKE: You betrayed me, Vinnie, and I'll never forgive you for that.

PAGER: Hey, Mike.  This is 8-Ball.
PAGER: No time to explain now but get your butt over to an Italian
PAGER: restaurant in Pike Creek.  I'll be waiting for you.


2.37 - Mission 37: Love of Money

8-BALL: Listen, man.  I'm sorry I couldn't warn you about Vinnie sooner but
8-BALL: I've been on the run
8-BALL: soon after Vinnie's bombing.
8-BALL: I just found out myself from the goons Vinnie sent to take me
8-BALL: out.  You may have seen them on your way in.
MIKE: Yeah, I saw the dead bodies out front.  It's good to see you, 8-Ball.
MIKE: I'm glad they weren't able to take you down.
8-BALL: You too, man.  But this isn't over yet, I think there'll be more
8-BALL: people gunnin' for you.
8-BALL: The word's out that you took down Vinnie and that you've got his money.
MIKE: But Vinnie squandered most of it!
MIKE: I only got a hundred g's - not worth turning these streets into a blood
MIKE: bath!
8-BALL: It doesn't matter what the facts are, it's what people believe, man.
8-BALL: Now you're on top of their list, and gangs like the Cartel, and
8-BALL: the... What the hell's that noise?
PAUL: You're going to pay for killing Cisco!
PAUL: He treated you like a son and had high hopes of
PAUL: educating you in fashion sense and the merits of giving driver licenses
PAUL: to illegals!  This is how you repay him?
MIKE: It wasn't me!  When I came back to the scene, he was already dead.
PAUL: I don't believe you and neither do my men.  Prepare to die!
MIKE: Damn it, 8-Ball's down.  I can't let these bastards get him.

After killing guys

MIKE: Hmmm, this doesn't look good...

After killing more guys

MIKE: Damn, here comes another group of Cartel thugs.

After killing more

MIKE: Damn, I didn't realize Cisco had so many working for him...

After killing the rest

MIKE: 8-Ball!  The Cartel has pulled back.  Let's get out of here!
MIKE: The cops will be here any second.
8-BALL: Naw, man.  I can't move.  My legs are busted and I'm burned real bad.
8-BALL: You go on without me.
MIKE: I'll make it up to you someday, 8-Ball.  I promise!
MIKE: The cops are on to me since I just took out half of the Cartel gang.
MIKE: I'd better lose them.

After getting car sprayed

MIKE: Damn, the cops got 8-Ball.  All my friends are either dead or in jail.
MIKE: They think I'm easy pickings because I'm only one man.
MIKE: I'm tired of running and getting ambushed by unknown assailants.
MIKE: I'm going on the offense.  It's time to bring the heat to them.


2.38 - Mission 38: Taking Revenge

MIKE: If I take out the new Cartel boss, I can get the rest of these goons off
MIKE: my back.
MIKE: Let's see if I can't squeeze some information out of this about who else
MIKE: might be after me.  It's time for major road rage.

After damaging car

PAUL: You're going to pay, muchacho.  Eat some of my lead!

After hurting Paul

PAUL: Enough, gringo!
PAUL: You have defeated me but if you think your troubles are over with my
PAUL: death, you are sorely mistaken.
MIKE: Tell me who else is after me, and I might show some mercy and spare your
MIKE: life.
PAUL: King Courtney and his men are going to be after you!
PAUL: He's held back this far because he doesn't want to tangle with my men.
PAUL: Once we pull back, he'll be on to you.
PAUL: Let me live and we'll leave you alone, I promise.
PAUL: Kill me and you'll have to deal with my gang and the Yardies.
MIKE: I don't put much faith in your words.  You're all back-stabbing liars.

If you let him go

MIKE: I gotta let this guy go and take my chances over whether he'll keep his
MIKE: word.  I can't have the Yardies and the Cartel after me at the same time.
MIKE: Damn, now I got to deal with King Courtney.

If you kill Paul and his goons

MIKE: If there's one thing that I learned from Vinnie is that mercy is for
MIKE: those that can afford it and I can't.
MIKE: There's only one way I'm getting out of this city and that's if I take
MIKE: out all my enemies.

At end of mission (both)

MIKE: I'd better load up on ammunition before I take on the Yardies.


2.39 - Mission 39: Smackdown

MIKE: The Yardies are spread out all over the city getting ready to take me
MIKE: down.  I'm going to hit them first before they're on to me.

After killing guys

MIKE: Good, I got them all before they could report back to King Courtney.
MIKE: Should make my strike on him easier.
MIKE: Hmmm, it doesn't look like the police appreciated my rampage.

PAGER: Mike-san!  Hisashiburi!
PAGER: I heard we have a mutual enemy in King Courtney.
PAGER: Let's meet in Wichita Gardens. -Asuka


2.40 - Mission 40: Assault Joint

ASUKA: Mike-san, it's good to see you.
ASUKA: You've made quite a few enemies since last we met and there's one in
ASUKA: particular I'd like to help you with.
ASUKA: King Courtney is pushing his gang into my area and I want him
ASUKA: eliminated.  I'm prepared to assist you.
MIKE: I need to know where King Courtney is hiding out and how many men he has.
ASUKA: He's in a walled compound northwest of here off the highway.
ASUKA: A frontal assault would be suicide but my sources say there may be
ASUKA: another way in.  I'll send a few men to assist you in the assault.
MIKE: You're not doing this because you love me, are you?
ASUKA: My dear Mike-san, what happens between the sheets and in the real world
ASUKA: are two different matters.
ASUKA: In both cases, you are a means to an end.  Goodbye, Mike-san.
MIKE: Life's been no bed of roses for me but I thought we had something
MIKE: special.
MIKE: I was just a fool though... This really is goodbye.  Sayonara, Asuka.
MIKE: Damn, the Mafia finally caught up to me!
MIKE: Looks like Asuka got out of here just in time... I'll
MIKE: take care of these guys and then deal with King Courtney.

After killing guys

MIKE: Damn, that ambush seemed to be too much of a coincidence for Asuka to not
MIKE: know about it.  I better not turn my back on her men if they show up.

At place

MALE: Asuka sent us to help you out, Mike-san.
MALE: We'll give you a few seconds to get into position and then we'll attack
MALE: from the front entrance.
MIKE: Sounds like suicide to me but I welcome the company if we're all going
MIKE: to hell.  Good luck.

If you leave guys

MIKE: Damn!  I knew I couldn't trust Asuka.  Her men ran away!

Inside (either way)

KING: Hey mon!  You're doing me a great injustice.
KING: You come blazing in here without any reason.
MIKE: King, I'm not here to listen to any of your lies.
MIKE: I know you've sent men to kill me.
MIKE: Now the tables are turned and you're going out in a body bag.
KING: You think me craven, mon?  No matter.
KING: I'm going to ease your stress for good!

After killing King's men

KING: I'm sending you to the other side, mon.
MIKE: We'll see about that, King.  Time to bring out the big guns.

After killing more of them

KING: Tribulation!  You're a nasty one!  Stay still and let me shoot you!
MIKE: Keep your thugs coming, King.  They're no match for me.

After killing more men

KING: It's time, mon.  Prepare to meet your maker.
MIKE: I'm putting you down for good.

After hurting King

KING: Stay, Mike, stay!  I'm all stressed out and there's no fight left in me.
KING: You're the victor, mon.
MIKE: Damn, it's finally over.
MIKE: I can get out of this city with the money I have left and never look
MIKE: back.  There's nothing but bitter memories here.


2.41 - Mission 41: Freedom Flies

MIKE: Think!  Think of something quick, the cops are closing in... I can't
MIKE: make it out of the city by the highways, the cops will have roadblocks
MIKE: up.
MIKE: There's only one shot I have and that's make it to the airport and take
MIKE: Cisco's plane.
MIKE: Damn, I wish I had a tank to get through the resistance I've got coming
MIKE: for me.

At airport

MIKE: Hell yeah!  There's no stopping me now!  Liberty City... Goodbye and
MIKE: good riddance.
MIKE: I've learned hard lessons and rubbed shoulders with the worst
MIKE: elements - King Courtney, Vinnie,
MIKE: and even Asuka.  I'm going to miss Jonnie the bartender and Cisco.
MIKE: I can't help but think I could have done more for 8-Ball.
MIKE: Cisco, this drink is for you, perhaps I will settle down in your beloved
MIKE: Columbia.
MIKE: To the rest, to hell with you and here's to never looking back...


2.42 - Misc (audio)

If you crash into a car

AFRICAN: I hope you got insurance.
JAMAICAN: Move yourself.
AFRO: Move ya ass.
AFRO: Get out of my way.
WHITEY: Hit the gas (he might also be saying "Hit the Deck" or "Get some gas").
MEXICAN: Watch the wheels, gringo.
MEXICAN: You about to pay, sucka.
MEXICAN: Hey, what are you doing, hey yo.
WHITE: Watch the car (it might also be "Wash the car").

Police Radio

POPO: 10-38...(sounds muffled so it could be "7-38" or something similar)
POPO: With extreme caution...(muffled audio)
POPO: Suspect is on foot... (muffled audio)

Music Lyrics

SINGER: Let me show you how it's done
RAPPER: South Park

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.0 - CREDITS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to Rockstar Games, Digital Eclipse, GameFAQs, and Nintendo.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.0 - QUESTIONS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. How much dialogue did you include in this document?
A. The dialogue from the main missions, not including the general directions
   (the text on screen with no icon that tells who is talking).  I also
   included misc spoken dialogue.  I didn't include side
   missions, Pay 'N' Spray dialogue, failed missions, etc.

Q. How much cursing is in this game?
A. There could be more from side/failed missions and stuff, but there is at
   least this much cursing.
   Damn - 34
   Dammit - 2
   Hell - 23
   Oh my God - 1
   Bastard(s) - 9
   Pissed - 1
   Shit - 2
   God-forsaken - 1
   Ass - 1 audio, 1 text

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.0 - LEGAL INFO
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyone can use this.
You may contact me at fastakilla@excite.com for any questions, comments, etc.
This document may not be sold or used for profit.
This document is not authorized, endorsed, or associated in any way with
Digital Eclipse, Rockstar Games, or Nintendo.