Review by basho

"This is quite possibly the worst game I ever played."

I never liked the old GTA games. They lacked a plot. In my opinion, this series didn't get any good until GTA 3 on Playstation 2, but THIS game is possibly the worst game I ever played.

Gameplay 1/10
Umm...okay, so you're some random guy in the middle of some town. You actually get to choose your character, but they all look the same. I still haven't figured out why you are there or what the point of the game is, though. Once you manage to find these random guns that are just lying on the streets for no reason, you can start to wreak havoc. But the worst thing is you are required to hold the A button down if you want to do anything besides running around in circles like a ninny. What was the point of THAT? I guess the developers wanted to give you the privilege of having an accelerator on your guy. Anyway, now it's time to do a mission. But you'd get there faster if you jacked a car. Now to do that, you have to go to a car, and press select, but you have to be DIRECTLY next to the car. If you are not touching the car, if you are even a millimeter away from the car, getting in it is impossible. Once you randomly appear in the car (What happened to the other guy in the car), you can drive around and try to find a phone, so you can do a mission (How do these gangs know you?). But sometimes it's better to start a riot. If you were lucky enough to pick up a random gun on the streets, you can shoot people, and the cops will come, but if you come in contact with a cop, you will get busted. This game was fun...for about 3 seconds.

Graphics 2/10
Three words, ''What the ****?!'' These graphics are great, though. You control a black square with a red dot head and two white dots that are hands. You run around the series of boxes, and if you find a gun, you can shoot white dots at squares, and even steal a rectangle. Beware, though, the white rectangles with red dots will come at you, and more square people will come at you. Time to take out your machine gun and fire lines at the squares. Uh-oh, here comes more rectangles, and now they are shooting white dots at you. No matter, time to bring out the heavy artillery. Shoot solid black likes at the rectangles, and they will become orange circles, and the squares around them will become red squares. Now it's time to go to the square, and receive a mission from the talking head. Use the rectangle provided, and pick up the square, and bring him back to the big box, where he will tell the squares about you. But other gangs won't like this, and will fire white squares at you. Time to shoot them with your lines.

Sound 1/10
Never, I repeat, NEVER turn the volume up on your gameboy for this game. If you don't have it on mute, you will suffer the consequences. Have you ever watched a TV channel when they were off-air, where you see the colored stripes, and a long sustained beep? That, combined with someone playing random notes on the trumpet really loud, will result in the monstrosity of a sound system from this game.

Control 0/10
There are lots more thing the A button could be used for besides walking. You HAVE to hold the A button to walk. It's like you're permanently in a car. To steal a car, you have to press select, and it's no easy, because you have to be right next to the car you want to steal, and you will just appear in the car, without throwing the other guy out.

Replayability 0/10
I honestly wouldn't know. It will probably take you ten minutes to use all the features of the game. Just use all the guns, play one mission, and drive a car, and then you've pretty much experienced all this game has to offer. I got bored of this game after about 5 minutes, so I only used 76% of the features.

Rent it or buy it?
NEVER EVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THIS PIECE OF ****!!!


Reviewer's Score: 1/10 | Originally Posted: 08/11/03


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