Grand Theft Auto 2
Review by xerc
Let's get one thing straight from the start. This is just ****. The GTA series are cult classics which work on so many levels and appeal to so many people, but the laziness displayed in this terrible port to the Gameboy is abysmal. I've never made a Gameboy game and I have no idea how hard it is, but I know for a fact that this could have been a hell of a lot better. Why? I've played Driver- a game that GTA2 isn't fit to lick the tires of.
I'm being generous here. The graphics in GTA2 aren't the worst part believe it or not, but they're still amazingly weak. You can pick a character at the start, but in the end, they all look identical. The cars look average for the gameboy, but the overall detail is very very poor. GTA2 would be a two if it wasn't for the actually quite pretty pictures when you become either busted' or wasted' (that's arrested or killed to the rest of us).
Absolutely abysmal. Anything sounds better than the high pitched farts excreted by your gameboy when you slam in a copy of GTA2. If you're looking for a quick way of making your ears bleed then look no further. Okay, so you could hardly expect it to sound as good as Vice City with its fantastic sound track and comedy radio stations, but enter a car in GTA2 and you get tunes which are either incredibly annoying, incredibly **** or a bit of both. None of the music in this game is remotely decent or even listenable to. On the plus side, it does at least conserve batteries by making you turn the volume right down to zero.
Running around, nicking cars and shooting stuff is one of those things that's almost impossible not to like, but with GTA2 on the gameboy, you have no option. First there's the on foot stuff, which to be fair, is okay for about ten minutes, although ten minutes is more than adequate time for you to collect every gun, kill a few people, blow up one or two cars and maybe do a mission. There's absolutely nothing else worth a mention other than the rocket launcher, which in a sense has already been mentioned in the collect every weapon remark. Then there are the off foot sections i.e. the driving of cars. For a game that's called Grand theft auto and sells copies by making you drive cars, there is no excuse for the visible ****ness on display here. It's hard enough to steal a car since you have to make sure you are exactly touching the car in the right way before it lets you enter, but the driving itself is just awful. The cars handle like gear sticks, only allowing you to move in about 12 directions, and the collisions are beyond disastrous. You can be going incredibly fast, but when you slam in to a car that's completely still, instead of knocking it away and slowing down, your car comes to a complete halt. Nothing is moved and no one is hurt, you just stop. If you then take more than three seconds to do anything, a car comes up behind you making it impossible to move because you can't barge him out of the way, forcing you to come out of the car, steal the one behind you, take about half an hour to turn because of the terrible lack of control, finally drive away, and then bump in to another car. This happens so often that it's best just to stick away from driving all together and concentrate on the game's less frustrating, but still undeniably weak sections. With even a half decent driving engine this game wouldn't have been half bad. With driving on par with the GB version of Driver, it would have been fantastic, but with the amazing ****ness of the driving in GTA2, this game only salvages a two. The missions try to do some moderately amusing things such as telling you to T8k a load ov stuff 2 da dealerz be4 da random time limit runz out., but are no more fun than just doing nothing, which at the end of the day, is a lot less frustrating.
I stuck with this game to see if it would get any better. It didn't. Give this half an hour and you'll have seen it all. You might revisit it from time to time, just to remember what was so bad about it, but playing this for days is simply not going to happen.
Overall 2/10- 25%
By far the laziest conversion of a game I've ever seen. Buy Driver, and if you really need to get out of your car, buy GTA1, but avoid this at all costs. Alternatively you could get some Hotwheels.
Reviewer's Score: 2/10 | Originally Posted: 09/13/04
Got Your Own Opinion?
You can submit your own review for this game using our Review Submission Form.