Review by tectactoe
"Grand Theft Awful."
Ok, now don't get me wrong, I love the Grand Theft Auto series, I mean, they are some of my favorite games, but this game is one apple that fell way off the tree... like a mile away. So far, it's scary, and I'm about to tell you why.
What do you expect from a GameBoy Color? I mean, these graphics are even sketchy for the GameBoy. The people are approximately 2 pixels tall and 4 pixels wide. You might need a magnifying glass. The cars aren't too much bugger either. The buildings and objects in scenery are pretty bad. It's really hard to tell if the building has an opening you can drive in or not. Requirements: 20/20 vision, and then some glasses for magnification.
Yuck. The controls are downright terrible. You have to hold a button to walk, you have to hold two different buttons to jack a car, you have to hold down on the Directional Pad to go backwards, and it's hard to go backwards and turn at the same time, and on foot, it takes your character about 2 seconds to turn around. Forget about precise walking - your character bubbles around in circle like motion and it's incredibly hard to kill someone with a gun. You're not even going to be sure if you har hitting them or not. It's bad. Real bad. When you finally get into a car, it's almost as bad as life outside of one. Tap the gas and your car is already at top speed. Now try turning good. Eh.
Oh my... GTA now-a-days is known for its cool car radio stations and nice cool tunes, but this game has a song that plays nonstop, even outside of a car. And believe me, it's horrendous. It will make grown men cry. It's sounds like a saw grinding on metal mixed with a mechanical bear thats just been shot and can't stop screaming. Yes, it's that bad.
Fun Factor: 5/10
I'll kind give it this... the game can be fun... if you learn to use the awful controls and can stand that glass shattering music. There's not much story to the game, but there doesn't have to be. Answer the phone, find this person, kill him, come back here. That's your basic mission. And actually, that would be okay, but you'll have a hard enough time just reaching your destination because it is incredibly hard to find a car. There's probably about 12 total in your game, and they are never where you are. Also, your wanted level could be at four and it's still too easy to outrun the police.
The Bottom Line: Umm... don't buy this game unless someone holds a gun to your head and says, "It's your choice." Even then, it'll be a painful decision.
My score: 3/10
Buy or Rent: Neither.
Price it's worth: $3.99
Reviewer's Rating: 2.0 - Poor
Originally Posted: 11/28/04
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