xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx FULL THROTTLE GAME SCRIPT Author: Lando_Kashmir Email: Lando_Kashmir@comcast.net File last updated: April 16, 2007 Contents: INTRO SCENE 1: THE KICKSTAND SCENE 2: MELLONWEED SCENE 3: THE AMBUSH SCENE 4: THE GORGE SCENE 5: THE DERBY SCENE 6: THE SHAREHOLDERS MEETING SCENE 7: RIPBURGER CODA Closing comments INTRO -- Show overhead view of empty country highway. Ben narrates the intro -- <Ben> Whenever I smell asphalt, I think of Maureen. That's the last sensation I had before blacked out: that thick smell of asphalt. And the first thing I saw when I woke up was her face. She said she'd fix my bike, free. No strings attached. I should have known then that things were never that simple. Yeah. When I think of Maureen I think of two things: asphalt and trouble. -- Hover limo zooms by along the highway -- <Corley> Ripburger, you're dumber than dirt! <Ripburger> *Chuckles* Mr. Corley. If you'd only listen to my plan... my vision. -- Inside the limo, Malcolm Corley and Adrian Ripburger are seated in the back, and their henchmen Bolus and Nestor sit in the front. -- <Malcom> I know your plan, Ripburger. You're waitin' for me to die so you can take over my company! <Ripburger> Oh sir... *Laughs* That's horrible. I am not waiting for you to die. <Malcom> You know, I've never liked you, Rip. But you've got business know-how and killer instincts that I respect. <Ripburger> Why, thank you sir. <Malcom> But this latest idea of yours- Ridin' up to our shareholder's meeting with a gang of bikers?! Who do you think you're foolin'? <Ripburger> The shareholders, sir. It's good PR to be seen hobnobbing with real Corley Motors customers. <Malcolm> What do you know about our customers, Adrian? You've never even been on a bike! <Ripburger> Well you know that I would be on one right now sir, if it weren't for my destabilizing inner-ear condition. <Malcolm> Eh, your ears are fine. It's what's between them that scares me. -- A gang of five bikers appears from behind, rapidly approaching the limo. The leader in the center jumps the limo, rocking the vehicle and coming down on its front headpiece. They ride off into the distance. Malcolm, thrilled, opens his window and stares after them. -- <Malcolm> Now there goes some boys I could ride with! Step on it. Let's find out who they are! -- Zoom to closeups of the riders and finally their leader, Ben, as opening credits roll. This gang is called the Polecats, and they are the protagonists of this game. -- SCENE ONE: THE KICKSTAND -- Brief overhead of local kickstand in a remote area. Ben's gang is parked outside. Inside the bar, the Polecats are laughing and drinking. -- <Polecat> Hey, Ben? <Ben> Hmm. <Polecat> You know, Ben, we're broke. <Ben> Yeah. <Polecat> And if some cash don't come our way real soon, we're in big trouble. <Ben> Relax. I have a feeling something's coming our way... something big. -- Outside the kickstand, Ripburger's limo pulls up -- <Corley> Eh, you'd better stay out here, Rip. This place is bikers only. Heh, heh. -- Corley storms into the kickstand -- <Malcolm> All right! Who's the guy that drove over my car? -- Ben looks over at Malcolm. Some time later, overhead of the kickstand, Ripburger and his cronies are still waiting in the limo. -- <Ripburger> What could possibly be taking so long? <Bolus> Maybe old man Corley got himself in trouble. <Nestor> Yeah, maybe they took the old guy out back and wooped him over with a two-by-four. <Ripburger> Hmm... an appealing notion, but improbable. More likely he's boring them to death with some tale of the glory days. -- Inside the kickstand, Malcolm and Ben are sitting together at the bar, and they and the gang are laughing hysterically. -- <Ben> But Malcolm, isn't that illegal? <Corley> Not back then it wasn't! -- Everyone laughs again. -- <Ben> So who do you ride with these days? <Ripburger> He rides with me. -- Ripburger appears at the doorway. -- <Ripburger> Although I'm sure he'd much rather be riding with your little club. <Corley> I told you to wait out in the limo, Ripburger! <Ripburger> I thought you might like some help with your sales pitch, sir. <Ben> Sales pitch? <Ripburger> Yes. We've come here to offer you and your men... employment. Mr. Corley requires an escort to the annual Corley Motors shareholders meeting. <Ben> Does this look like an escort service to you? <Ripburger> You would be well-compensated for your time, of course. <Ben> Not interested. <Ripburger> It's, eh, fairly obvious that you could use the money. <Ben> Listen. I said we're not for rent. -- The Polecats look around, confused and uncertain. -- <Ben> The Polecats are not goons for hire. <Ripbuerger> Not even if it was... Malcolm Corley's dying wish? <Corley> *Slams the bartable* Ripburger! That does it. I'm gonna- <Ben> Hold on there, Malcolm. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to step outside with Ripburger for a little chat. <Ripburger> Excellent idea. -- Ben follows Ripburger outside past the limo, beside the kickstand near a dumpster. -- <Ripburger> And the doctor says he only has a few months to live. <Ben> That's bad news for all of us. He's not just a nice guy... he's also the last motorcycle maker in the country. What happens to Corley Motors if he dies? <Ripburger> Don't worry; I have a plan. And if you'll come to the shareholder's meeting with us, you'll find out what it is. <Ben> No dice, Ripburger. The Polecats are not thugs for rent. If you want to buy muscle, you should go find the Rottwheelers. <Ripburger> The old man says that the Polecats are nothing. <Ben> Then I guess it'll have to be nothing. <Ripburger> Hmm. And that's your... last word? <Ben> That's it. <Ripburger> Well, I'd like to make you just one final offer. -- Ben is whacked from behind by a large two-by-four, and falls unconscious. Nestor drops the wood, and he and Bolus stand over Ben. Ripburger looks at his watch and sighs. -- <Ripburger> Bolus! Take his coat and go get his motorcycle. We'll have to tie up this little 200-lb. loose end. *Chuckles* It'll need to look like an accident. -- Back in the kickstand, Bolus, wearing Ben's coat, is seen riding off. -- <Corley> That stuffed shirt actually believes I'll leave him in control of Corley Motors! Boy, is he in for surprise. <Polecat> Hey! Where's Ben goin'? -- Ripburger appears once more at the doorway. -- <Ripburger> Your colleague has decided to accept our generous offer, after all. As a matter of fact, he's gone out ahead to scout the route. <Polecat> He did? <Corley> Well, then- let's roll 'em, boys! Yahoo! Corville here we come. -- Ben's gang along with Ripburger take off towards Corville. Back at the dumpster next to the kickstand, the player gains control. Ben kicks around in the kickstand until he punches out of the top and jumps out. -- Dumpster: <EYES> I've woken up in worse. <MOUTH> I'm not putting my lips on that. (DEFAULT) <HAND> I've touched it enough. <FOOT> *Kicks* Take that! <FOOT(R)> *Kicks* And that! Sign: <EYES> Warning: Do not play in or around dumpster. Do not kick dumpster. Do not sleep in dumpster. Usage of this container for disposal of human remains may be a violation of local health ordinances. Boxes I: <EYES> They're empty. <HAND> I can't see any use for those. <FOOT> No. (DEFAULT) Boxes II: <EYES> Empty boxes. He really should flatten these... so they can be recycled. <HAND> Nah. He can flatten his own boxes. -- Ben walks out from behind the kickstand to the front. If he walks out towards the highway: -- NORTH: I'll never catch up to them on foot. WEST: That's where I came from. Nothing left for me there but a warrant. --His bike is parked, apparently untouched. -- Bike: <EYES> Good thing Ripburger didn't touch my bike... good thing for him. <HAND> -- Ben climbs on his bike, then searches his pockets. He realizes his keys are missing, and he gets off. -- Some joker took my keys. I don't like that. Kickstand sign: <EYES> The kickstand. <HAND> Hmm... no./Don't think so. (DEFAULT) Window: <EYES> It's empty... but I can see the bartender in there. <HAND> It's screwed shut. I prefer doors, anyway. Door: <EYES> Hmm. <HAND> *Slams loudly on the door* Open up! <FOOT> *Kicks the door open* -- After kicking the door open, Ben walks into the kickstand. It's empty except for the bartender, Quohog. -- <Ben> I, uh, fixed your door. It was sticky. <Quohog> Look, I don't want no trouble. Just leave me outta this mess. Bottles: <EYES> Ahh. Booze. <HAND> Can't... gotta ride. Register: <EYES> Hmm... <Quohog> It's empty, don't get any ideas. Picture I: <EYES> That's one big fish. <Quohog> Yep. <HAND> Got no home to hang it in. Picture II: <EYES> What's this? <Quohog> It's a big blobby grey shape. I was in an art class. Piano: <EYES> Man I wish they had a jukebox. <HAND> Yeah right. <FOOT> *Kicks piano* Play! -- The piano spews out a few messy notes. -- Antlers: <EYES> Those might look good mounted on my handlebars... Nah. Picture III: <EYES> Fifteen guys with towels in their belts? <Quohog> My graduating class from bartending school. Picture IV: <EYES> Are you the guy with the lampshade on his head, or the guy chuggin' outta the punch bowl? <Quohog> Lampshade. Picture V: <EYES> This your pitbull? <Quohog> Naw, that's my baby picture. Picture VI: <EYES> Whoah. <Quohog> Watch it, that's my sister. Monitor: <EYES> The monitor doesn't have any controls. <Quohog> Yeah, the signal is miked in from Kickstand National Headquarters. <FOOT> Hi-kicking was never my move. Quohog: <EYES> I've never liked nose rings. <Quohog> Me neither, but someone dared me. <TALK> Looks like you're out of customers. <Quohog> Yeah, your gang took off with those... those well-dressed gentlemen. So what'll it be, mac? A. Where'd everybody head off to? B. I wanna know who knocked me out. C. I'm looking for my keys. D. Whaddya got for a headache? (After D) E. Something smooth. (After E) F. Right now, all I'm looking for is my gang. <Q-A> What am I, the cruise director? Maybe they're up on the lido deck. *Chuckles* <Ben[After first response]> I think you're in on this whole bum deal. <Quohog> Yeah, well whaddya gonna do about it? *End convo* <Q-B> Maybe you just passed out. You should learn to handle your liquor. *End convo* <Q-C> I have no idea what you're talking about. *End convo* <Q-D> A little sympathy. <Ben> Thanks. <Quohog> But not much. *End convo* <Q-E> Only smooth thing in here is my head... and you ain't touchin' it. *End convo* <Q-F> Ever think of finding some worth as an individual? Just a suggestion. *End convo* <TALK[R]> <Quohog> What'll yeh have?/You want somethin'? <TALK[After all talk options]> <Quohog> You gonna order somethin'? <Ben> No. *End convo* <TALK[After below]> I've got nothing to say. <HAND> You know what might look better on your nose? <Quohog> What? -- Ben grabs Quohog's nose ring and slams his head into the bar. -- <Ben> The bar. <Quohog> Oof! <Ben> Now don't mess around with me. <Quohog> All right, all right! I got your keys, but I don't know nuthin'. They had guns! They told me to stall you as long as possible. <Ben> Why? <Quohog> I dunno, I dunno! I overheard then say somethin' about an ambush up the road. <Ben> What else? <Quohog> Nuthin', nuthin'! -- Quohog fishes underneath the counter and holds up Ben's keys, dropping them to the bar. -- <Quohog> Look, man... here are your keys, all right? -- Ben lets Quohog up off the bar and takes his keys. -- <Quohog> Oh, erm- someone did say somethin' about killin' you and making it look like an accident. <Ben> They didn't do too good of a job there, but why ambush the Polecats? I'd better get moving. -- Ben walks out of the kickstand and gets on his bike. He puts on his goggles, starts the ignition, and drives off north in pursuit of Ripburger. -- SCENE TWO: MELLONWEED -- Ben is riding at full throttle in the direction of his gang. -- <Ben> When I'm on the road... I'm indestructable. No one can stop me. -- Ben notices a large man on a large bike- A Rottwheeler member- approaching. -- <Ben> But they try. -- Ben pulls up to the gang member, and he shifts to Ben's speed, so they start riding side-by-side. -- <Rottwheeler> Hey! Ain't you the A-number-one Polecat honcho? <Ben> Yeah. And you're in my way. <Rottwheeler> Well get used to it, bud. When the Rottwheelers hit the road, we own it!! <Ben> Look, I'm serious. Someone's ambushing the Polecats. <Rottwheeler> Someone's ambushin' the Polecats?! Oh, heavens, whatever will we do! *Laughs* <Ben> That does it! <Rottwheeler> Come on, kitty! Let's get down! -- Player gains control. Use punches and kicks to hit the Rottwheeler and eventually knock him off his bike. -- <Rottwheeler> Don't give up now!/No, harder! Like this!/Hey, hey!/That's the spirit! -- If Ben gets hit too many times, he falls off of his bike and crashes. Ben gets up and shakes it off, then rides on to face the Rottwheeler again. Once Ben hits him enough, the Rottwheeler crashes and Ben is free to ride on. Ben cranks his speed up to a maximum and pops a wheelie. Unfortunately, the screws are too loose and his front wheel falls off. Ben panics, struggling to keep his bike upright. Finally, the front forks fall down and tear into the pavement. They quickly catch fire and instantly the whole bike explodes into flame. The fireball bounces off onto the coast of the highway. Fade to black. Several hours later, Ben wakes up, lying on the curb, badly twisted and bruised. He groans as the voices of Ripburger and Quohog swim through his head. He closes his eyes as he recalls Ripburger's words, "I have a plan," and falls asleep. In the middle of the night, the sound of a car is heard driving up, and a couple of pictures are snapped. -- <Miranda> Man... this is gruesome! My editor better get these in color... Now I have to get you some help, I suppose. <Ben> *Groans* <Miranda> Ahh, quit moanin'. I know someone around here who can fix anything. -- Ben is transported to a lighted room. As he slowly regains consciousness, he sees the head of a woman wearing a mask. He quickly looks around and sits up. -- <Ben> Who are you? -- The young woman takes off her mask. -- <Moe> I'm a mechanic. And apparently a pretty good doctor, as well. My name's Maureen. <Ben> My name's Ben. Why'd you hit me over the head, Maureen? <Moe> You were in an accident. A reporter found you and brought you and your bike here. <Ben> My bike! *Jumps off the bed* What have you done with my bike? <Moe> Brought it back from the dead. Sort of like what I did with you... I need a little help getting it finished, though. Moe: I: A. Who are you? B. How's it look? C. I gotta get outta this town, fast! D. Well, I'll let you get back to work... (After B) E. Where am I supposed to find this stuff? (After III and IV) F. I don't have any money to pay you with. (After III and TALK[R]) G. I'm having a little trouble finding stuff. <M-A> Maureen, remember? If that's too hard, then maybe you should stick with Moe. *Go to II* <M-B> It looks better than it did, but you gotta help me out. The front forks are wasted, so you'll have to get some new ones. And someone stole my welding torch, can you believe that? I can't finish without one! And last but not least, I patched up your raptured gas tank, but you're out of fuel and I don't have any. <M-C> Trouble with the law? <Ben> Not in this county. <Moe> Then what's the hurry? *Go to IV* <M-D> Let me know if you need any aspirin or anything./Let me know if you need anything. *End convo* <M-E> You can hack it, tough guy. *Go to III* <M-F> Hey, this one's free. I haven't touched anything besides a toaster for so long, getting my hands on your hog has really been a pleasure. *Go to IIC or:* <Ben> Well, thanks. <Moe> No sweat. <M-G> What's the problem? *Go to III* II: A. Do you have a last name? B. This an authorized Corley service center? C. Where'd you learn bikes? D. I better get going. (After IIA/B/C) E. You live in this town? <M-A> I prefer not to use it. What about you? <Ben> Same deal. <Moe> Then it's Ben and Moe forever, I guess. <M-B> You could call this a Corley service center. I don't have the official paperwork. <Ben> Ah. An illegitimate Corley operation. <Moe> I prefer to think of it as a renegade Corley operation. <M-C> I grew up workin' on 'em with my dad. One summer we did nothing did nothing but restore this old hardtail together... I mean, we scrubbed every bolt until it shined. But, he took off one day and he never came back. So I switched to toasters. <M-D> *See ID* <M-E> Well, Mellonweed's not much of a town... What's left of it is sinkin' about a foot a year. People either learn to adjust, or they leave. Which is fine with me. <Ben> Not a people person? <Moe> I'm just better with toasters, that's all. <Moe[After IIA,B,C,E]> You seem more concerned about me than your bike! *Go to I* III: A. Where am I gonna find new forks? B. How am I supposed to find your torch? C. Where's the gas? D. Never mind, I'll figure it out myself. (After IIIA/B/C) E. You're right. No problem. <M-A> Well, they don't have to be new-new, just not broken into little pieces. You could start by asking Todd in the trailer across the way. He runs the junkyard. <M-B> I dunno, set up a dragnet! Still can't believe someone would steal my torch... Who around here would do a thing like that? <M-C> Well, there's a whole tower full of it at the edge of town... I have this crazy, irrational intuition that tells me maybe it's worth checkin' out. <M-D> Whatever blows your hair back. Let me know if you need any aspirin or anything. *End convo* <M-E> Good. *Go back to I* <Ben[After IIIA,B,C]> Actually, I think I can handle it. <Moe> Good. *Go back to I* <Moe[After all II and III talk options]> Look, if you want me to finish this thing... <Ben> Say no more. *End convo* IV: A. My gang's in trouble. B. There's going to be an ambush. C. Someone tried to kill me. I'm after him. <M-A> The Polecats? <Ben> How'd you know that? <Moe> Big emblem on the back of your jacket. <Ben> They're headed for an ambush. So I gotta catch 'em. <Moe> Then we'd better get this bad boy back on the road then, huh? *Go to I* <M-B> Ambush? Who's ambushing who? <Ben> Not sure, but my gang's involved. *Go to IVA* <M-C> Why would somebody want to kill you? <Ben> To get me out of the way so they could ambush the Polecats. *Go to IVA* <TALK> Moe! <Moe> Yeah, Ben?/What? *Go to I* <TALK[After every talk option]> Moe! <Moe> Hey uh, Ben? <Ben> What? <Moe> You're buggin' me. *End convo* <EYES> She's got her hands all over my bike! <Moe> Jealous? <HAND> Nah, she's got a wrench. Bike: <EYES> I hate seeing her like this. <Moe> Why? It's really my best side. <HAND> I'll wait till she's done. Photograph: <EYES> What's this? <Moe> Oh, that's me and my Uncle Pete. He took care of me after Dad split at this place called the Mink Ranch. When he died, he left it to me. <Ben> You're a Mink farmer? <Moe> Naw, that place went belly-up long before he died. But I still go back there whenever I need to get away for awhile. Hose: <EYES> Hmm. This hose smells like gas. <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use hose with invalid object: A hose won't help here. Gas can: <EYES> Wish this gas can was full. <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use gas can with invalid object: A gas can won't help here. -- Ben walks out onto Moe's porch and climbs down the outside of the shack. Miranda the reporter is reclining next to the shack with her camera. -- <Miranda> Oh good, you're not dead yet. I might still get a quote. Miranda: I: A. I heard you saved my life B. Listen, I've got to stop an ambush. C. Well, I'd better take off. (After IA) D. Who'd want a picture of me bleeding? (After II) E. Could you give me a ride in your car? <M-A> Yeah, but don't worry. I wasn't tryin' to. I was just lookin' for some nice roadside disaster photos and you helped? <M-B> Ambush? Really? Where? *Go to II* <M-C> All right, drive safe now. *End convo* <M-D> It's not the blood, it's-it's the way you were, all twisted up like a pretzel. <M-E> *Go to IIC* II: A. I don't know, exactly. B. Somewhere between here and Corville. C. Do you think you could give me a lift? <B-A/B> My crew is escorting some VIPs to the Corley Motors shareholders meeting, and there's an ambush waiting for them somewhere up the road. *Go to I* <B-C> Uh, I, I... <Miranda> Yeah? <Ben> This is hard for me... I... I need... <Miranda> Come on man, spit it out! <Ben> Could you give me a ride in your car? I've got to stop this ambush. <Miranda> You're right. We have to get to the ambush all right, but I'm afraid I'm without wheels for the moment. <Ben> How did you get us here? <Miranda> Hitched. <Ben[After all talk options]> Well, I'd better be going. <Miranda> All right, drive safe now. *End convo* <TALK[After II]> Find us a ride yet? <Miranda> No. *End convo* <EYES> Pretty small to be carrying me around. <Miranda> I rolled ya. <HAND> I owe her better than that. Mailbox: <EYES> It's empty. <HAND> *Closes/opens mailbox* -- Ben leaves Moe's shack area. If Ben mentioned the ambush, Miranda quickly jumps in her car under the shack and drives off. Ben stares after her. -- <Ben> Thanks for the lift. Now I gotta quote for ya. -- There are three places in Mellonweed to investigate: Todd's trailer, the gas tower, and the junk yard. -- --Todd's trailer-- Skylight: <EYES> Either someone's doing some welding down there, or we're talking about some very sub-code wiring. <HAND> Steel bars in the glass. Sandbox: <EYES> Apparently, this guy has a dog. <HAND> No thanks. This sandbox has been taken over by a big dog. Chimney: <EYES> Smells like burning metal down there. <FOOT> *Kicks the chimney* Sandbags: <EYES> Probably all that's holding this dump up. <HAND> They'd just fall apart. <FOOT> *Kicks the sandbags* Window: <EYES> It's even sadder-looking inside. <HAND> Bars. Door: <EYES> Locked, but flimsy-looking. <HAND> *Knocks loudly on the door* -- Ben hears the sound of an elevator, and Todd begins shouting at him from inside. -- <Todd> Who's out there? Hey! I'm tryin' to do my art in here, buddy! I don't got time to waste on bums like you./Whaddya want? I gotta guy comin' to look at my art. *Mutters* -- If Ben does nothing, Todd goes back into his basement. -- <HAND[R]> *Ben knocks loudly again* <Todd> Hey, I hear ya already! <TALK> I'm a friend of Moe's. I need- <Todd> Listen. I didn't take no weldin' torch! You hear me? I'm no crook! Get off my back already. <TALK[R]> This is important! <Todd> Not to me, you crazy lookin' hood. Now beat it! <TALK[R2]> Let me in! <Todd> *Laughs* Good one, punk! <TALK[R3]> I'm about to roll this tin can! <Todd> That's it, I'm callin' the cops. <Ben> Good. I've been meaning to report a stolen welding torch. <Todd> *Chuckles and mutters* Yeah. Hang around long enough and maybe they'll pick you up with the trash. Heh. <TALK[R4]> Candy graham. <Todd> That's it. If you don't take off for good I'll... <Ben> You'll what? <Todd> I'll gleaze yer ugly touche with my weldin' torch. I mean, my uh... hairdryer. I'll get yeh with my hairdryer and burn ya, so beat it. <TALK[R+]> Building inspector./Got some flowers here./Can I use your phone?/ I'm here to look at the art./You've won something. Let me in./Quick! The whole trailer's on fire./Hi. I'm from Local Manor Magazine./This is the police!/I'm selling these fine leather jackets./I take it all back. Now let me in./Don't make me come in there.../I'm getting angry!/Come out here a second. I wanna show you something. <Todd> What do I have to do to get ridda you?!/No dice./Grand!/Beat it!/Nice try!/Give it up./Hit the road./Get your *mumbling* carcass off my property!/Give it up already!/Pfeh. Give it up./Enough already! <KICK> *Ben kicks the door in* -- If Todd was inside yelling at Ben, then he's knocked out cold from Ben's kick and the elevator downstairs is accessible. If Todd was downstairs when Ben kicked the door open, the elevator downstairs remains blocked by a drawer. -- Drawer: <EYES> It's locked up with steel brackets. <FOOT> *Kicks the drawer* Todd: <EYES> This view defines true beauty. <HAND> I think he's had enough. Cabinet: <EYES> Looks like a cabinet to me. <HAND> *Opens the cabinet to reveal a lockpick inside* Lockpick: <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use lockpick with invalid object: A lockpick won't help there. Todd's signs: <EYES> His decor has a strong... carnival coin-toss flavor to it. <HAND> Wouldn't look good on my bike. Refrigerator: <EYES> I pictured him having a much larger fridge. <HAND> *Opens the fridge to reveal meat inside* Meat: <EYES> It's either dog food or this guy's dinner. <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use meat with invalid object: That's not one of meat's many uses. -- Ben steps onto the elevator to be taken down into the small basement. -- Metal bird: <EYES> Ouch. <HAND> I don't collect art. And I also don't collect...whatever that is. <FOOT> I could try, but it wouldn't die. Collage: <EYES> I'd nominate that as "Least Offensive in Show." <FOOT> I'm not that limber. Tin dog: <EYES> I had a dog with a funnel on his head when I was a kid. <FOOT> Kick the little tin doggy? Maybe later. Metal figure: <EYES> I hope he's not trying to bring these to life, or anything like that. <FOOT> I don't want to start a fight with that thing. Can pile: <EYES> That would make a good mailbox post... in hell. <FOOT> I'd rather just get out of here. Torch: <EYES> Better hustle this back to Moe. <FOOT> That's not how you use one of those. <HAND> -- Ben takes Moe's welding torch back to her shack. -- <Ben> Er-hem! <Moe> That's my welding torch! How'd you get it? <Ben> Oh, it was just lying around. <Moe[After torch]> A pair of forks, a little gas, and we're set. <Moe[After forks]> Now if you'd just find me a welding torch and scare up some gas, we'd be set. <Moe[After gas]> Now once we get my welding torch and some new forks, we can fix 'er up. <Moe[After torch and forks]> Just gotta gas her up and go. <Moe[After torch and gas]> Just a pair of new forks and we're on the road. <Moe[After forks and gas]> Just get me a welding torch and I'll put it all together. --The Gas Tower-- Tower: <EYES> I bet that thing's full of gas. If only I could get in there. <HAND> Can't get to it from here. Signs: <EYES> The top of this fence is electrified. Gate: <EYES> Hmm. I hope the gate's not electrified. <HAND> It's locked. Lock: <EYES> Tough-looking padlock. <HAND> I couldn't break that lock. -- Ben uses the lockpick from Todd's trailer on the lock. The door springs open, and the lock is thrown aside. -- Use lockpick with lock (R): It's already open. Lock: <EYES> It's open. <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use lock with invalid object: That's not something I want to lock. -- Ben enters the main gas tower site. -- Ladder: <HAND> -- When Ben touches the ladder, an alarm goes off. If Ben stays put or attempts to climb the ladder, the hoverpolice spot him when they arrive. -- <Chief> All right there. I'm talkin' to you, boy. You are trespassin' on private property. Remain still and we will not shoot you./This is your last warning. We have been authorized by the power of this here county. We use deadly force and shoot criminals such as yourself. Now stop movin' so we can administer justice on you!/Stop, I said! Don't get yourself in more trouble than you're already in! We just want to talk to you, son! So maintain your position, just for a minute.../You're askin' for it, boy! Trespassin' is a serious crime. Now this time hold still! <Officer> Yeehaw!/Yahoo!/Hoo-wee! -- Fires the guns at Ben. Ben makes a break for it and runs from the tower. -- <Chief> I got to say fire before you do that./You're still alive, boy? You're under arrest!/<Officer> Look at 'em run!/I got 'em, I got 'em! <Officer[First time]> Sorry, boss. I got excited. -- If Ben sets off the alarm and runs off before the police arrive, they simply leave. If Ben tries to take cover behind a pillar at the tower site, the police do not spot him when they arrive: -- <Chief> Remain where you- Hey! Where is he? <Officer> I told you, I nailed him the last time! <Chief> Then who set off the alarm, Floyd? <Officer> Maybe somebody's just foolin' with us. <Chief[If after 1st alarm]> Naw it's him. It's that guy you keep missing. <Officer[If after 1st alarm]> Well, if you could hold this thing still while I'm shootin'... <Chief> I'm goin' down for a closer look. -- They set the hovercraft down next to the tower, as Ben watches from behind cover. -- <Officer> I don't see nobody. He must have run away. <Chief> Nah. We woulda seen him runnin' from the air. He must be hidin' up in the tower. <Officer> We got 'em treed! <Chief> Let's go up and get 'em. -- They go up the tower, and Ben is free to check out the hovercraft below. -- Hover sled: <EYES> I don't trust anything without wheels. <HAND> I don't touch anything without wheels. Gas cap: <EYES> I'd say that's where the gas goes. -- Ben plugs the hose in the gas cap and sets out the gas can in place. -- Gas can: <EYES> I'd like this thing a lot more if it were full. <FOOT> No way. I need it. Hose: <MOUTH> -- Ben sucks on the hose to get the gas flowing. He spits out the gas and fills up the gas can. -- <Officer> Hey! Who's that down there in the yard? <Chief> It's him! Get 'em! -- Ben grabs the gas tank and runs off, splattering gas all over. -- <Officer> Where? <Chief> Over there. Quickly! You go around to the other side and we'll have him cornered. <Officer> Where'd he go! -- Ben manages to escape the area and hides behind some trash along the road. -- <Officer> Let's call it quits, huh boss? <Chief> No! Let's call in reinforcements. -- The police fly off. Ben delivers the filled gas can to Moe. -- <Ben> Er-hem! <Moe> Oh, good. You get this from the gas tower? <Ben> Not exactly. <Moe> *See above* --Todd's Junk Yard-- Chain: <EYES> It comes out a hole in the bottom, and goes over that pulley to the other side of the wall. <HAND> -- Ben pulls the chain, which opens the garage entrance. If he lets go of the chain, however, the door slams shut. -- Sign: <EYES> Todd's Junk Yard. Open up, Todd!/Oh yeah, I knocked him out. Rolling door: <EYES> Heavy-looking. <HAND> *Knocks loudly on the door* Open up, Todd! <FOOT> *Kicks the door* Open up, Todd! Latch: <EYES> No lock. This should be easy. <HAND> It's unlocked. -- Ben places the lock from the gas tower in the latch of the door. Now the chain stays locked in place, and Ben can climb up it into the junkyard proper. -- <Ben> Ahh. Junk. -- Ben jumps down into the main area to check out the heaps of trash. -- Wrecks: <EYES> Cars. No thankyou. Wreck: <EYES> Oo, fire damage. Forget about it. Parts pile: <EYES> Just the kind of forks I need. Right on top. <HAND> -- Before Ben can claim the forks, Todd's huge pitbull bursts out of the parts pile, barking loudly and looking extremely ferocious. The dog chases Ben until he pulls himself up on the wall. -- <Ben> Down! -- The dog barks loudly for a bit, then runs off. -- <Ben> That's one ill-tempered mongrel. -- If Ben tries to take the forks again, the dog appears from an area on the right side of the junkyard and chases him around again. -- <Ben> Who needs dogs./Bad dog. -- Ben goes to the right end of the junkyard, where the dog is currently residing. There are several wrecked cars laid out, and a magnetic saucer hanging far overhead. -- Car: <EYES> I love the smell of junkyards./Motorcycles never die of old age./Dog jumps in car, eats meat, jumps out, kills me. -- Ben places the meat from Todd's fridge in one of the cars. -- <Ben> Here, poochy-pooch, Pooch! -- Little Todd jumps into the car and starts thrashing around violently. -- <Ben> Bon appetite, mutt. -- If Ben tries to take the forks now, Little Todd can still get out and chase him down. Ben climbs up the tower overhanging the right area and powers up the magnetic saucer. There is a simple control panel here: The left lever moves the saucer up and down, the right lever moves the saucer left, right, south, and north, and the button magnetizes the saucer. Ben lowers the saucer over the car that Little Todd is occupying, picks it up with the saucer, and raises it as high as it can go. With the dog trapped, Ben is free to grab the forks. Ben returns to Moe's shack a final time. -- <Ben> Er-hem! <Moe> Nice forks! Where'd you find 'em? <Ben> Right next to the knives and spoons. <Moe[After torch, gas, and forks]> Well, that's it! Wait outside for a minute and I'll finish 'er up. I'm workin' on a surprise. -- Ben steps outside. If Ben has not asked Moe about the photograph in her shack before, he steps back inside. -- <Ben> Hey. I've been meaning to ask you. What's that picture of? <Moe> *See above* <Ben> Okay. Just curious. Now I'm outta here. -- Ben steps back outside. -- <Ben> I hate surprises./Moe's almost done with my bike. -- If Ben had not told Miranda about the ambush before, he starts wondering to himself: -- <Ben> Maybe there's a chance I can stop the ambush. <Miranda> Ambush? Really? Where? <Ben> Somewhere between here and Corville. My crew is escorting some VIPs- -- Miranda quickly jumps in her car and drives off at lightning speed towards the ambush site -- <Ben> Thanks for the lift. Now I gotta quote for ya. <Moe> All right! Here she comes! -- Moe lowers Ben's bike down from the porch on a platform, looking as good as new. -- <Moe> Am I cool or what? <Ben> You're amazing. I should crash that thing every day. So what's the surprise? <Moe> Oh, just your average, everyday, pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid- fuel recoil booster. <Ben> You're serious! <Moe> Yes. <Ben> But only the Vultures... <Moe> I have my connections. Now, are you gonna try this thing out or not? -- Ben mounts his bike, smiling at Moe. -- <Moe> Ooh! Wish I had a camera. <Ben> I wish I had some way of paying you back. <Moe> Just beat it, will ya? You're scaring away my regular customers. <Ben> Bye, Moe. <Moe> Send me a postcard from the ambush! -- Ben starts the ignition, turns on the booster, and speeds off towards the ambush site, partially lighting Moe's deck on fire. Moe stares after him, looking thoughtful. -- SCENE THREE: THE AMBUSH -- Ben continues down the road, still in the middle of the night. Suddenly, he spots about five hover sleds patrolling the road ahead, making it impassable. -- <Chief> All right, look lively! He's a sneaky one. <Officer> This time, he ain't getting' past us! <Chief> See him? <Officer> Nope. <Chief> Keep lookin'. -- Ben turns around; he has no choice to go straight back to Mellonweed. -- Moe's shack: Nah. I've already said my goodbyes. NORTH: The ambush is the other way. EAST: -- The cops stay put no matter how many times Ben checks. -- -- Ben goes over to the gas tower one more time and activates the alarm. The police blocking the road hear the alarm. -- <Chief> You hear that? <Officer> He's back at the gas tower! <Chief> He's got a lot of nerve, that piece of trash. <Officer> Let's get 'em! <Chief> All units follow me! -- After they return to the gas tower, Ben slips past them on his bike and heads down the now-unblocked road. With the help of Moe's booster, he is able to get to his gang soon afterwards. They are stopped at a public bathroom. -- <Polecat> Ben! How'd you get behind us? <Ben> Where are the suits? <Polecat> Corley's making a pit stop. He has a bladder the size of a thimble, man... <Ben> Ripburger? <Polecat> Haven't seen him in a while. Ben, man, what's the deal? Did you find something up the road? Are we headed for trouble? <Ben> No. We're in it. -- Over at the bathroom, Corley is zipping his pants up as he leaves the toilet. -- <Corley> *Singing* Put my head in a basket 'cause I'd had a tank full! When she blew my gasket I surely was thankful! Till I head for the skies up above, it's a woman with wheels that I love! Eh. -- In the bushes nearby, Miranda the reporter is hiding, snapping photos of Corley. -- <Miranda> Come on, old man. I gotcha. Now, do something incriminating, like ambush somebody! -- As Miranda continues snapping photos, Ripburger sneaks up from behind him. -- <Miranda> Ah-ha, the plot thickens! -- Miranda continues to take pictures as Ripburger draws his cane, strikes Malcolm Corley with all his might, and gives an evil grin. Miranda winces, shocked. Corley lies, not moving, in a pool of blood. -- <Ripburger> You shouldn't have laughed at me in those board meetings, Malcolm. <Miranda> *Taking pictures* What a psycho! <Bolus> Gotcha! -- Miranda looks around. Bolus yanks her up by the coat and grabs her camera. -- <Bolus> Hey, look what I found in the bushes! <Ripburger> What is that? <Miranda> It's a choke hold. Come here and I'll demonstrate! <Ripburger> It's got a camera! -- Miranda falls out of her coat and runs off. -- <Bolus> I'll get her! <Ripburger> No! Nestor will take care of her. You have an important engagement with the rest of the Corley family. <Bolus> Right! <Ripburger> But don't forget to destroy the camera! <Bolus> Yeah, yeah. -- Bolus walks off, and Ripburger stands tall over Malcolm. -- <Ripburger> Now then, Malcolm... how about one for the road? *Prepares to strike once more* <Ben> Corley? -- Ripburger quickly and silently slips off at the sound of Ben's voice. -- <Ben> Corley? -- Ben looks around the corner and is shocked to see Corley, bleeding to death on the ground. He walks over to him. -- <Corley> Ben! *Coughs* I guess Ripburger couldn't wait for natural causes. Just like him to hit a man when his fly is down, heh heh. *Coughs* <Ben> Ripburger did this to you? <Corley> Yeah, he knew that I was dyin'... and he knew that my will would put him out of a job. *Grasps Ben's jacket* He wants to take over Corley Motors, Ben. Sell off the farms, lay off workers. Start makin' minivans! You understand me?! Minivans!! *Groans and coughs* You've got to hurt him for me, Ben. Promise me! You'll hurt him bad! <Ben> I promise. <Corley> *Coughs* I want my daughter to take over the company. <Ben> You have a daughter? <Corley> Yeah! She's a real mechanical genius, Ben! Rebuilt her first carborator when she was four! I used to call her the Diapered Dynamo... *Coughs* Find my daughter, Ben! Find Maureen! -- Malcolm's eyes roll back and he dies. Ben looks up in alarm. -- <Ben> Maureen? -- Back at Moe's shack, as Moe is working with her back to the porch, Bolus walks up to her from behind. He loads his gun, smiles, and aims at Moe. Moe spots him in the reflection of one of her toasters, and pushes a button. The porch collapses, and Bolus falls with it. Moe steps out to check the body. Meanwhile, Ben is hastening back to Mellonweed on his bike. -- <Ben> Ripburger's way ahead of me. I just hope Maureen can handle herself until I get there. -- Moe investigates Bolus's coat back at her shack, and takes out a roll of film from his camera. -- <Moe> Hmm. The gun I understand, but why'd he have a camera? Who does this guy work for? -- She checks inside Bolus's wallet. -- <Moe> Corley Motors?! -- Ripburger's limo approaches the shack, and Moe quickly runs off. -- <Ripburger> Nestor... what's that moving over next to that pile? <Nestor> I don't know, but I think that pile is Bolus. <Ripburger> *Sighs* Yes. Now I remember. You're the smart one, aren't you. -- Some time later, Ben reaches Moe's shack, long after Ripburger left. -- <Ben> There's Moe's shack, but I don't see the limo. Maybe I beat them here. -- Ben walks up to the shack to find it completely deserted, and Moe's porch smashed into pieces. -- <Ben> On second thought, maybe I didn't. Debris: <EYES> Looks like somebody searched this place in a hurry. Nothing left but debris. Except for that smashed up camera... Back's open, no film inside. Hmm... Moe said she didn't have a camera. *Picks up the photograph lying on the ground* Here's Moe's picture of her and her Uncle Pete at his Mink Ranch. She said she went there whenever she needed to get away for awhile. That's pretty much my only lead right now. *Places photograph in inventory* <HAND> This place is messed up enough. Picture: <EYES> *See above* Use picture with invalid object: That wouldn't be too useful. -- Ben leaves the shack. -- NORTH: Not on foot. EAST: I don't walk. -- Ben mounts his bike and rides back east to the ambush site, which is also in the direction of the Mink Ranch. In the distance, he sees a giant police roadblock with policemen crawling up and down the perimeter. -- <Ben> So much for returning to the scene of a crime. They'll be coming this way real soon... I gotta get a plan. Fast. -- Ben decides to head south, past Mellonweed, back to the local kickstand where he first met Ripburger. A large semi-trucked is parked nearby. -- Semi: <EYES> This sucker's mine. <HAND> *Bangs loudly on the truck* Look. I really need a ride. <FOOT> *Kicks the truck* Look. I really need a ride. -- As Ben walks towards the kickstand, he hears Miranda's voice from the nearby dumpster. -- <Miranda> Ben!/Hey!/Over here!/Psst! -- Ben walks over to the dumpster and Miranda pops her head out. -- <Miranda> Ben! No time to talk. <Ben> Yeah. It stank in there, but I can't remember a better sleep. <Miranda> You gotta help me! Go find my editor in Corville. Tell him I took pictures of the Corley murder! <Ben> You got pictures! <Miranda> Yeah, but some thug took my camera. <Ben> So you don't have any pictures. <Miranda> Well, I tracked the guy to Mellonweed, but I'm not goin' near the place. They'd kill me! Get my editor! He's gotta getme outta this! Take one of these fake ID to get through the roadblocks. -- Miranda unfolds a clipping of about twenty fake IDs, and Ben takes one. -- <Miranda> My career is ridin' on those pictures! Help me, Ben, you're my only hope! *Disappears back into the dumpster* <Ben> Oh, don't worry. I owe you one./If Miranda's thug is the same one that trashed Moe's place, that could be Miranda's camera I saw there. But then, who's got the film? Use fake ID on invalid object: Nah. Miranda: <TALK> Oh, Ms. Wood? <Miranda> Go away! Yer blowin' my cover! <HAND> Hey! Come outta there. I want to talk to you. <Miranda> No way, it's too dangerous. Dumpster: <FOOT> *Kicks the dumpster* Take that. <Miranda> Quit it! -- Ben walks into the kickstand. The large monitor is blaring the local news, and a customer is playing a knifing game on one of the bartender's tables. -- <Quohog> Hey, killer! <Ben> What? <Quohog> Ay, it's cool... Your secret's safe with me. <Ben> What secret? <Quohog> Haven't you been watchin' the news? <TV reporter> Once again, our top story tonight: Malcolm Corley, owner of Corley Motors, was found... dead! At a rest stop just outside the town of Mellonweed! Apparently, the benevolent patriarch and CEO was... viciously beaten about the head and neck! Savagely, and without mercy! Police have arrested a notorious outlaw biker gang known as "The Polecats"... <Ben> No! <TV reporter> With the exception of their leader, who is still at large. Roadblocks have been set up along Highway 9 in an effort to apprehend this... dangerous and violent criminal! <Ben> We've been set up! <Emmit> Roadblocks suck. <Ben> I shouldn't have left the gang there. <Quohog> Hey, I don't wanna hear anything about it! You ain't making me an accessory after the fact! Just lay low, man. Quohog: <TALK> Look, let me tell you what happened... <Quohog> I told ya, I don't wanna get involved. Emmit: <EYES> He doesn't look happy. <HAND> He's got a knife. <TALK> A. I can do that. B. Seem to have a lot of time on your hands. C. That your truck out front? I need a ride. D. Good talking to you. (After A) E. Let me show you how to do that. (After E) F. Let me try that again. (After B) G. I just killed a guy. (After G) H. I don't think that's good for the table. (After C) I. Look, I really need a ride. <E-A> Not gonna happen. <B-B> Not to mention nicks and scratches. -- Emmit plunks the knife on the center of the table. -- *Chuckles* Am I distracting you? -- Emmit stupidly nods and goes back to knifing. -- <E-C> Do I look like a cabby to you? Get lost. They're not lettin' anyone through that roadblock anyway. <Quohog> Not even truckers? <Emmit> They turn'd me around, said police business only. Pigs. <B-D> Friendly folks you get in here. <Quohog> Emmit's not what you'd call an I'm okay you're okay person. <Emmit> Ah, shut yer hole, Quohog! *End convo* <E-E> Not gonna happen. <E-E[Rx10]> Only if it'll shut you up. -- Ben tries a round of the knifing game. If he wins: -- <Ben> Cool. <Emmit> Hmm... -- If he loses at the game: -- <Emmit> Oh yeah, you sure are good at that boy. Yeh're pathetic. *End convo* <E-F> *Go to E-E* <E-G> And I'm just about to. <E-H> Hey, Quohog! <Quohog> Yeah, Emmit? <Emmit> I'ma be knifin' up yer table for awhile, all right? <Quohog> The customer with the knife is always right. <E-I> Not gonna happen. <Ben> Why? 'Cause you're afraid of some cops? <Emmit> No, because I don't like you. -- Ben places his fake ID from Miranda on the table. -- <Ben> Here. <Emmit> What's that? <Ben> Fake federal investigation ID. Could be of some use at one of those roadblocks. -- Emmit sticks his knife on the fake ID. -- Ever hear of this place: Uncle Pete's Mink Ranch? <Quohog> I remember there used to be some sorta weasel plantation or something up the road... <Emmit> Down Highway 9, on the other side of those damn roadblocks. I used to pick up mink meat there real cheap, and sell it to school lunch programs! Heh, heh. That was a good scam! <Ben> So how about a ride? -- Outside the kickstand, Ben and Emmit stand next to the semi. -- <Ben> What if they search the back and find my bike? <Emmit> It's buried in a pile of concentrated fertilizer powder. *Snorts* Trust me, no one's gonna dig through that crap. Now, yer gonna ride in the engine compartment. <Ben> The engine compartment? <Emmit> Hey! I smuggle stuff in there all the time, and most of it's worth more than you. So, stuff yer carcass in there quick and we might hit that mink dump before morning. <Ben> Hope you're better with a stick shift than you are with a knife. <Emmit> Yeah, yeah. -- Ben climbs in the engine compartment, and Emmit pilots the semi north towards the roadblock. -- <Ben> Oh great, smells like he's got a fuel leak. I love engine fires. -- Inside the compartment, Ben listens to the conversation of Emmit with the police officer. -- <Officer> Sorry sir, only police vehicles beyond this point. <Emmit> I'm with the feds, man. Check it out. <Officer> Huh? What's this about? <Emmit> Undercover agricultural sting operation. <Officer> What's in the back? <Emmit> Fertilizer. <Officer> All right, move along. <Emmit> Hope you boys get yer man! *Chuckles* -- As the truck moves on, Ben falls asleep. -- SCENE FOUR: THE GORGE -- Early the next morning, Ben wakes up in the compartment. -- <Ben> Hmm... We've stopped moving. -- Ben pops out of the compartment and walks over to Emmit, who was working on the front of his truck. He slams the engine hood shut when he sees Ben. -- <Ben> Problem with your truck? <Emmit> Heh, heh, eh... loose hose, nuthin' big... I, uh, already pulled your bike out. It's sittin' right over there. -- Ben walks over to his bike. -- <Emmit> Well, nice knowin' ya. Gotta hit the road, y'know... -- Emmit quickly jumps into his truck and drives off to the east, leaving Ben alone at the Mink ranch. -- <Ben> Uh-oh. *Checks his bike* He did have a fuel leak. And he used my fuel line to fix it. That trucker's gonna die for what he did. Bike: <EYES> That trucker's gonna die for what he did. <HAND> Won't work without a fuel line. Barn door: <EYES> The barn's locked. <FOOT> *Kicks the door* Open up, you minks! -- Ben enters the shack next to the barn, and comes upstairs to a small bedroom. -- Pelt: <EYES> Looks like a mink pelt. <EYES[R]> Kinda give the room a musky color./Lots of mink pelts./Good thing these aren't polecat hides./Seeing all these mink hides strung up reminds me of my gang in jail./Minks are closely related to ferrets, actually, and a ferret is just a domesticated polecat./This room is really starting to depress me./How could Moe live in a room filled with dead animal hides?/I'm surprised there aren't more flies./Too bad she's not the fur coat type./Hmm... I could make some fuzzy dice out of these for my handlebars./I gotta get out of here. <HAND> I'm not into furs. Pictures: <EYES> Lots of bikes. <HAND> No momentos. I'll have scars enough to remind me of this trip. Window: <EYES> This must be the window Maureen stared out of as a young girl... dreaming of her life repairing toasters. Banner: <EYES> That's the insignia of the Vultures. I can't believe Moe used to be a Vulture... But then again, how else could she have gotten that recoil booster? Bed: <EYES> Rustic. <HAND> Not after Moe made it so nice. Pillow: <HAND> *Moves the pillow aside to find a tire iron underneath* Tire iron: <HAND> *Places in inventory* Use tire iron on invalid object: It's meant for nuts. Chest: <EYES> It's a trunk with a Corley Motors sticker on it. <HAND> It's locked. -- Ben uses the tire iron to break open the padlock, and opens the chest. -- <Ben> Ahh, junk. And a hose I can use on my bike. I don't think Moe would mind if I borrow one. -- Ben hears the sound of an engine revving up from outside. He looks out the window. -- <Ben> Moe? -- Moe crashes through the barn doors on her Vulture bike and storms off to the east. Ben dashes out of the shack, starts his bike and heads after her. He watches Moe pass Emmit's semi, and Ben does the same. As he approaches Moe, however, she ignites her recoil booster, glancing back at him and leaving him in a cloud of dust. Ben checks his booster, only to find that it has been ripped out. -- <Ben> She took my booster fuel! Rrr. Why is she running from me? -- Moe crosses the Poyahoga Gorge bridge at lightning speed. -- <Ben> She must think the whole world's against her. I think I know how that feels... -- Ben is still aways back from the bridge. Suddenly, Emmit's semi pulls up beside him, and tries to knock him off the road. Emmit chuckles as he passes him. -- <Ben> That does it. He's dead. -- Ben crosses underneath a very strange overhead sign. -- <Ben> That sign... that means I'm in... Cavefish territory. -- Several Cavefish approach Ben from behind, displaying messages to each other through their goggles. -- <Cavefish> LONE BIKE... NO THREAT -- The Cavefish quickly pass Ben and continue down the highway. -- <Ben> Cavefish! -- Soon afterwards, the Cavefish approach Emmit's truck from a distance. -- <Cavefish> FREIGHT TRUCK... TARGET -- Emmit spots the Cavefish and panics. The three Cavefish pull out their missile-launching weapons and aim at the truck. Emmit punches a button, and the cargo trailer is released. It takes one out, but the other two dodge it. Emmit chuckles, thinking he hit them all. One of the remaining Cavefish follows him and shoots a timed missile at him, which attaches itself to the front compartment of the truck. As Emmit approaches the gorge in his semi, the Cavefish stops to watch him. Emmit's semi explodes as it reaches the middle of the gorge, taking the entire bridge out. The Cavefish members ride back to rejoin one of their brothers, who is stopped where the cargo trailer crashed on the side of the road. -- <Cavefish> This cargo is worthless. We have been tricked, my brothers! Back to the cave! -- The Cavefish disappear on their strange bikes. Meanwhile, back at the Mink Ranch, Nestor and Bolus arrive in their hovercraft to look for Maureen. Nestor opens his window and glances around. -- <Nestor> Hmm... <Bolus> The place looks deserted. Maybe the boss was wrong and she ain't comin' here. <Nestor> She's coming; we just got here first. So now all we have to do is sit here and wait. -- Ben reaches the crashed cargo trailer and stops to look around. -- Semitrailer: <EYES> Looks like Emmit dropped a load here. <HAND> *Tries to push it from behind* Won't budge. Wheel: <EYES> Lot of weight on those babies. <HAND> It's bolted on. <FOOT> I ain't lookin' to buy. -- Ben uses his tire iron to unscrew the wheels from the semitrailer. -- <Ben> Well, that's all of them. Can't be much holding that up now. -- Ben can now push the entire semitrailer over onto its side, blocking half the road and splattering fertilizer everywhere. -- <Ben> What a mess. Fertilizer: <EYES> What a stinkin' mess. <HAND> Maybe I'll just take a little. *Places in inventory* <FOOT> I'm no cowboy. Semitrailer: <EYES> I'd call that a road hazard. <HAND> I've done my heavy lifting for the day. <FOOT> *Kicks the trailer* Bike: <EYES> Now, that's a good-lookin' bike! -- Ben rides off east towards Poyahoga Gorge. He reaches the bridge and pulls over to a tourist stop right next to the gorge. -- Ex-bridge: <EYES> Something tells me the bridge is out. Gorge: <EYES> Wow. <TALK> Echo! Echo... echo... Sign I: <EYES> Professor Schmetterling's experimental flying suit. <HAND> Nah, that's federal property, I think. Sign II: <EYES> One of the gorge's many casualties. Sign III: <EYES> This is the last picture ever taken of Professor Schmetterling. Sign IV: <EYES> Notice: Jumping the Poyahoga Gorge, although tempting, is highly illegal and dangerous. We recommend the recently-constructed Poyahoga Gorge Bridge for trans-gorge travel. Drive safely. Sign V: <EYES> Ricky Myran's infamous gorge jump. Sign VI: <EYES> "Tightrope walkers, hang gliders, human cannonballs... Many have tried to cross the mighty Poyahoga Gorge, and many have failed. Except by Ricky Myran, the Flying Torch, who jumped the gorge on a 'stock' Corley Motorcycle. It was later uncovered that he had modified his Corley, with a pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid-fuel recoil booster, and an automotive hover lift. Myran said he would gladly replicate the jump to clear his name, but his special ramp was stolen by a mysterious, truck-hijacking motorcycle gang." Hmm... Recoil booster and a hover lift, eh? Thanks for the tip, Rick. You're right, though. I'll need that ramp. EAST: What's he got that I ain't got? Except for a recoil booster, a hover lift, and a silly-looking ramp with day-glo flames painted on it. WEST(on foot): I'm not leaving without my wheels. -- Ben heads back west onto the highway and takes the nearest mine road exit. The mine roads are twisting, meandering roads that run in a full circle, crossing the highway at one point. There are plenty of exits that give access back to the highway at any time. Ben approaches a biker with a familiar face: -- <Ben> Father Torque! I haven't seen you since you retired from the Polecats! <Torque> Hey, Ben! How's my gang doin'? <Ben> Eh, that's a long story. I: A. What are you doing out here? B. Father Torque, I need your help. C. You know any way around Poyahoga Gorge? D. Well, take it easy, Father. (After A) E. Any fighting tips, Torque? (After C) F. Where is the Cavefish hideout, exactly? <T-A> Well, retirement's pretty boring, Ben. So I though I'd come out to the Old Mine Road and look for trouble! <Ben> You're pickin' fights? <Torque> That's what the Old Mine Road's for, son. <B-B> The gang's in jail and the law- <Torque> Ben, I'm not the leader of the Polecats any more... you are. Can't you see I'm on permanent vacation? <T-C> Around it? It's miles and miles long, Ben! What's the matter? Don't like bridges? <Ben> It blew up. <Torque> Ooh! Sorry I missed that! Well... you could jump it, like Ricky Myran. Cavefish got his ramp in their hideout, you know. <T-D> Give 'em hell, Polecat. *End convo* <T-E> Aw, Ben... who's tougher than you? *Go to II* <T-F> Somewhere on this road. The entrance is totally invisible, unless you got those weird Cavefish specs. II: A. Nobody, but those Rottwheelers are uglier. B. The Vultures are quick, and they're nuts! C. What's up with those Cavefish, man? D. You're right. No one's tougher than me. (After C) E. How do the Cavefish ride if they're blind? <T-A> They're none too bright, either. I'm sure you can handle 'em. <T-B> The ones with those boosters are hard to whip. Just remember Ben: It's not about muscle, it's about timing! <T-C> Watch out, Ben. They're not out here for sport. They hijack big rigs. It's part of their religion. Don't get in their way: They're blind, cold- hearted killers. <T-D> That's m' boy! *Go to I* <T-E> Well, they're only blind 'cause they wear those special goggles to shield their sensitive cave-dwelling eyes. Special sensors in their goggles pick up the dots in the road, and other large objects and landmarks to help them navigate. Kind of trippy, huh? <Torque[After all talk options]> Can't talk any more, Ben. Eatin' too many bugs. *Go to ID* -- Ben rides along the mine road, equipped only with fertilizer and a tire iron for weaponry. Ben gains more weapons by defeating other bikers with weapons. In the beginning, there are four Vultures, three Rottwheelers, and the Cavefish sharing the road. -- --Vulture 1-- Weapon: None <Vulture 1> Wow! Are you really a Polecat? <Ben> Yes, I am. <Vulture 1> Well I hate Polecats! Skanky Polecat scum!/Learn to ride, kid!/Betcha just took yer trainin' wheels off, huh?/Heh! Polekinder's more like it. Defeats Ben with: 8 hits Is defeated with: 6 punches/3 chain hits/1 chainsaw hit/3 mace hits/2 2x4 hits/4 tire iron hits/6 kicks Immune to fertilizer <Vulture 1[When defeated]> Wahh! --Vulture 2-- Weapon: Chain <Vulture 2> Slack-jawed sissy!/Aggressive little wart, ain't ya?/Shouldn't hit a man wearin' glasses./Loser!/Yeh're crowdin' me, shovelface. Defeat Ben with: 4 hits Is defeated with: 10 punches/20 fertilizer hits/5 chain hits/1 chainsaw hit/breaks chain with mace/3 2x4 hits/7 tire iron hits/10 kicks --Vulture 3-- Weapon: None <Ben> Say there. Is that a pre-regulation, destroyer-class, solid-fuel recoil booster you have there? <Vulture 3> Why, yes it is! Ta ta! *Ignites the booster and speeds off* <Ben> *Coughs* <Vulture 3> What's wrong, lead diapers?/Yeh drop anchor or somethin'?/Suck nitro, snailbait!/Sorry; gotta run!/You really should get one of these booster deals. -- This Vulture ignites the booster whenever confronted with a weapon. If Ben hits the Vulture with the chain quickly enough, he whips the Vulture off his bike, and he can steal the booster. This Vulture disappears after being defeated. -- <Ben> That should have a couple of good boosts left in it. --Vulture 4-- Weapon: Chainsaw <Vulture 4> You like choppers, huh? How 'bout this chopper?/Back for more? <Vulture 4> You're firewood, chump!/Let's chop ya down and catch a ring!/Just for that, I'm taking that arm off!/Hah hah hah!/Take that! Defeats Ben with: 1 hit <Vultue 4[When defeated]> Oww! My eyes! -- This Vulture can only be defeated with 1 fertilizer hit. She also disappears after being defeated. -- --Rottwheeler 1-- Weapon: None <Rottwheeler 1> Hey! It's mah old friend what's-yer-name! Glad to see you all rehabilitated. My knuckles were startin' to itch! <Rottwheeler 1> Don't give up now!/No, harder! Like this!/Hey, hey!/That's the spirit! Defeats Ben with: 8 hits Is defeated with: 12 punches/1 fertilizer hit/6 chain hits/1 chainsaw hit/5 mace hits/3 2x4 hits/8 tire iron hits/12 kicks --Rottwheeler 2-- Weapon: Mace <Rottwheeler 2> Yer gonna die now!/You die!/Freaky punk!/Now I'm mad!/This time yer' gonna stay down!/Take this, Charlie!/I hates Polecats! Defeats Ben with: 4 hits Is defeated with: 16 punches/24 fertilizer hits/breaks mace with chainsaw/7 mace hits/4 2x4 hits/11 tire iron hits/16 kicks Immune to chain <Rottwheeler 2[When defeated]> Now I'm mad! --Rottwheeler 3-- Weapon: 2x4 <Rottwheeler 3> I see you've come for a lesson in pain! Pay close attention- this will hurt!/Back again? Good. Okay, lesson's over. Time for the final exam! <Rottwheeler 3> Is that all the pain you can dish out? Defeats Ben with: 2 hits Is defeated with: 20 punches/30 fertilizer hits/13 chain hits/1 chainsaw hit/10 mace hits/7 2x4 hits/17 tire iron hits/20 kicks <Rottwheeler 3[When defeat]> My bike! Use mineroad weapons on invalid object: I should save something that potent for the mineroad./I'm saving that chain for my friends on the Old Mine Road./I'm saving the gas for the mineroad./A thing like that has only one use: The Old Mine Road./I'm saving that for the mineroad. --Cavefish-- Weapon: Oil spill Defeats Ben with: 1 hit -- The Cavefish don't attack Ben unless he gets close. Ben can destroy the Cavefish's bike with the chainsaw, but the Cavefish destroys the bike before Ben can get the goggles. The Cavefish will stick its head up when going over bumpy road. When it does that, Ben can knock out the Cavefish with the 2x4 and get the goggles. -- Use goggles on invalid object: I don't think that's how they're used. -- After getting the goggles, Ben puts them on while on the mine road. "EXIT" flashes on the screen whenever there's a nearby exit to the highway. The word "CAVE" flashes when the hideout is close, right after one of the exits. Ben faces the wall at that point, and that portion of the rocky wall face opens up to reveal the cave. Ben looks around the first area. -- Bike: <EYES> Cool bike./Even looks better in the dark./Nice lines. EAST (on foot): I don't spelunk. -- Ben rides on to the next section, then seeing nothing, moves deeper on to the third section and looks around. -- Fortress: <EYES> Everything about these guys is creepy. <HAND> -- Ben throws a rock at the fortress, which emanates a force field of protection. -- Don't think I'm getting' in there. Ramp: <EYES> Property of the Ricky Myran Traveling Stunt Show. <HAND> -- Ben pushes the ramp next to the bike. It knocks off one of the yellow plates in the road; those plates are essential for Cavefish to navigate on their bikes with their goggles. -- <HAND[R]> -- Ben connects the ramp to his bike. -- <Ben[After getting the ramp connected, on his bike]> I'd better get out of here. -- Ben rides over toward the exit and stops by a sharp turn at the corner of cliff. If Ben just tries to ride off with the ramp from here, the Cavefish back at the fortress mount their bikes and begin to chase Ben. Ben looks back and realizes he can't outrun them, so he quickly ditches the ramp and hides behind a rock outcropping. The Cavefish pull up to the ramp. -- <Cavefish 1> Where'd he go? <Cavefish 2> And who was he? <Cavefish 1> My brothers, we have been visited by a spirit... the spirit of Ricky Myran, come to reclaim his ramp! <Cavefish 2> Why did he leave it here? <Cavefish 1> He can't use it, because he is a spirit. He is only expressing his anger, which we must honor. Oh, Angry Spirit of Ricky Myran, we honor your rage! But, for now, the ramp must go back. -- The Cavefish return the ramp to the fortress area and Ben comes back out from the rock. -- -- After Ben has taken the ramp to the cliff face, he can use the ramp to chip off the yellow plates in the road that lead up to the cliff. When the Cavefish come and chase Ben then, they fly off the cliff and explode, and Ben successfully escapes with the ramp. Ben takes the ramp to the Poyahoga Gorge and sets it in place. -- <Ben> I'm done with these boys. *Tosses the goggles into the gorge* -- Nobody on the mine road has a hover lift, so Ben rides back to the Mink ranch to look for one. When he approaches it, Nestor spots him in his hovercraft. Ben turns right around and goes the other way, and Ripburger's henchmen pursure him. -- <Nestor> *Laughs* Look at him run! -- If Ben exits onto a mine road, they can't follow him. -- <Bolus> Ahh, Cavefish. -- If Ben passes the semitrailer while it's on the side of the road, it kicks up fertilizer into Nestor's car, but they steer out of it. -- <Nestor> Agh! Watch it! -- If Ben has managed to tip the semitrailer into the road, then Nestor crashes the car after they pass it. At this point, Ripburger's limo stops by at the Mink Ranch. Not seeing anybody, he goes down the highway until he comes to Nestor and Bolus on the side of the road. -- <Bolus> Boss! It was Nestor's fault! <Ripburger> Get in quick, I have a plan. We're going to lure the Corley remnant out of hiding, with a bike. <Nestor> Boss, she already has a bike. <Ripburger> Yes, but this one, she worked on with her father. It's an emotional thing; don't try to understand. Now hurry! -- Bolus and Nestor go with Ripburger back west in his limo. Meanwhile, Ben stops back at the gorge again. Ben goes back to investigate the crashed hovercraft. -- Hovercraft: <EYES> That's trashed. <FOOT> *Kicks the car* Heh, heh. Fender: <EYES> Now, there's one thing I've never needed. -- Ben uses his tire iron to break open the fender, removes the hover lift and puts it on his bike. -- <Ben> It's a single hover lift unit./Looks okay, for an after-market part. Use hover lift on invalid object: Not putting it back, no./That's better without a hover lift. -- Ben goes over to the gorge for final preparations. -- EAST[After booster]: Okay, I got the nitro, but where's Ricky's ramp? And where can I swipe a hover lift? EAST[After ramp]: Hey, Ricky! I got your ramp back! Now I have to cheat like you did, with a recoil booster and a hover lift. EAST[After hover lift]: I got the lift, now I need the booster for speed, and that ramp. EAST[After booster and ramp]: I got everything, except for that hover lift. EAST[After booster and hover lift]: All right, I've modified my bike enough... but I'm stuck until I find that ramp. EAST[After ramp and hover lift]: I got the ramp and the hover component for lift, now what I need is speed. I need that recoil booster. EAST[After booster, ramp, and hover lift]: All right, I've modified my bike enough. -- Ben goes all the way back to the ranch, then accelerates to full throttle in the direction of the gorge. Ben activates the booster halfway to the gorge. He explodes off the ramp, jumps about three-quarters of the gorge, then activates the hover lift to give him just enough lift to make it to the other side. Ben looks back at the gorge, then heads east for Corville. -- SCENE FIVE: THE DERBY -- Ben continues riding towards Corville as it turn dark. He pulls up to a lot beside the giant Corley Motors factory. If he checks his inventory, his weapons are gone: -- <Ben> Those weapons were a lot of weight. Factory: <EYES> The Corley Motors factory. Holy ground. Sign: <EYES> Cool! <HAND> That's a little big for a souvenir. Stadium: <EYES> Looks like something big's going on in there. -- Ben walks up to the main entrance to the factory. -- Sign: <EYES> Corley Motors! I've been meaning to come here for years. This is really a religious pilgrimage for me. A religious pilgrimage with a lot of butt-kicking. Panel: <EYES> Just like the cell doors in solitary. <HAND> -- Ben knocks loudly, and a man appears at the panel. -- I'm here for the shareholder's meeting./Let me in! <Official> Mr. Ripburger has postponed the meeting until Mr. Corley's murderes are aprehended. All the shareholders were notified./Beat it! *Closes panel* <Ben> Yeah, well, I haven't checked my voicemail lately, Mac./Jerk. Big door: <EYES> That's one big door. <HAND> *See above* -- Ben goes down to the stadium entrance, where Horace the salesman is operating a gift shop. -- <Horace> Souvenirs here!/Drive your own derby car by remote control!/We got yer hats, we got yer pennants, we got it all right here!/Our bunnies come with batteries included!/Loveable, loveable little bunnies./The official licensed bunny of the Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium!/We got yer T-shirts here! All sizes and colors!/Fill our handy beverage hat with your drink of choice!/You'll be keeping cold and looking bold!/You, big fella! Come give our derby car a spin!/Souvenirs to remind you of your special Smash-A-Torium adventure!/Buy yer kids a bunny so they'll shut up for the long drive home!/Don't be a cheap jerk! Buy somethin'!/If we don't got it, then it stinks! Heh, heh./Pet the dunny. You know you want to!/You just can't get this stuff anywhere else, folks! And it's cheap, too!/I'm practically givin' this loot away! What's a couple of bucks in exchange for a timeless memento?/These souvenirs all have an expiration rate of 300 percent per year!/Don't crowd, everybody! There's enough for everyone!/That's right, official Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium souvenirs!/Don't go away empty-handed!/Come on! Give me a break! Horace: <EYES> That's what havin' a regular job will do to you. <HAND> <Horace> I got a button under my toe that's wired directly into Corley Security's alarm system. 'Course, I could be lying, but the question is... do you feel lucky? <Ben> Lately? No. <HAND[R]> Can't risk it. <FOOT> That wouldn't help things. <TALK> Ahem. <Horace> What can I getcha? I: A. Why all the lights down here? B. I'm looking for a good souvenir. C. Seen any Vultures around here? D. Better let you get back to work... (After A) E. What's this big arena doing all the way out here? (After C) F. What's in the hat? <H-A> We got a demolition derby tonight! First prize is a vintage Corley hardtail... completely restored by the old man himself! Yep. <H-B> Well, good souvenirs is all I got! What can I fix you up with? *Go to II* <H-C> Nah, we don't have much of a Vulture problem here, even though their hideout is right up the road. They stay pretty much locked up in there... not very social. <H-D> All right, matey! *End convo* <H-E> Corley built the Smash-A-Torium so his employees could have some wholesome entertainment nearby. He sure took care of his employees. I got no idea what's gonna happen to us now that he's gone. <H-F> I dunno. Came filled with it. Probably some sort of packing material. Packs a punch, I'll tell ya that much! *Belches* II: A. Something small, furry, and yellow. B. How 'bout that little car there? C. Bunnies, and plenty of 'em! D. Actually, let me think about it... (After A/B/C) E. Those shirts come in extra-extra large? (After A/B/C) F. What do those pennants say on 'em? <H-A> Sorry! This is the only set of teeth I got! Heh. *Belches* Dang! There goes another one! <H-B> It's small, but it's not cheap, my friend! You better just take it for a test drive to make sure. <H-C> You want bunnies? *Checks the box behind him* I got yer bunnies! How much you got on ya? <Ben> Uh, can I just take them out for a test drive? <Horace> I think you may not be ready for the kind of commitment that comes with the Corley Bunny Value-Pack. Sorry, son. <H-D> He who hesitates goes home with jack, and his kids hate him. <Ben> Thanks for the warning. *Go back to I* <H-E> Eh... *Checks behind him* Eh, no. But they're pre-shrunk! <Ben> No thanks. <H-F> "Can't beat a Corley!" they say. Kind of ironic, actually, considereing how he died... Still, look great on yer bedroom wall! <Ben> No walls. My bike is my home. <Horace> We could set you up with a little pole so you could make a flag, y'know, for yer back seat? <Ben> I'll, uh, think about it. <Horace[After all II talk options]> Do you actually have any money? <Ben> As much as I need. <Horace[After all talk options]> Looky here. Nuthin' personal... but why don't you mosey along and stop scaring away all the other customers, all right? <Ben> Just clearing my throat. *End convo* Bunny: <EYES> Ack. <HAND[While Horace is facing him]> <Horace> All right, let's see the cash, amigo! <Ben> I'll owe ya. <Horace> No bucks, no yucks, Compadre! <HAND[While Horace is facing away from him]> -- Ben quietly nabs the bunny and places it in his inventory. -- Use bunny on invalid object: A bunny won't do much there. Souvenirs: <EYES> Excuse me... But, are those... shirts, uh... are they all cotton? <Horace> Well, uh... *Checks the shirts behind him* Let's just see here. *After a few seconds, he turns back around* One-hundred percent cotton! <Ben> Oh, uh... that's too bad. I'm allergic to cotton. <HAND> No momentos. I'll have scars enough to remind me of this trip. Bunny box: <EYES> It's a whole box of those furry things. <HAND> Ahem. One case of bunnies, please. <Horace> All right, let's see the cash, Amigo! <Ben> I'll owe ya. <Horace> Well, the Corley Bunny Value Pack is a cash-only ticket, bro... so, write when you get work, eh, Sonny? Ha! *Belches* RC car: <EYES> Kinda cute. For a car, that is. Joystick: <EYES> It's a joystick. Probably for that little car. <HAND> -- Ben grabs the joystick and starts moving the little car around. -- <Horace> Sure, sure. Take it for a spin. Just don't go out of range. -- After about five seconds, the car starts to die. -- <Ben> Looks like it's getting weak. <Horace> Oh, great! You killed the batteries. -- Ben puts the joystick back, and goes north to one of the stadium entrances. -- Turnstile: <EYES> It's the exit. It only spins one way, and it's the wrong way. Sign: <EYES> That's the old hardtail Moe restored with Malcolm! ENTRANCE: I'm not going in there. They all think I killed their beloved leader. -- Ben leaves the stadium, mounts his bike, and drives north to the Vulture's hideout area, behind what looks like a large mine field. -- <Ben> There's the Vulture's hideout, on the other side of this field. I've heard a lot about the Vultures... -- Ben picks up a rock and tosses it at the field; it explodes into a million pieces. -- And I guess it's all true. Minefield: <EYES> I wonder how they keep it so smooth./I don't want to set off any of these boys. -- Ben sets out his bunny, and it begins hopping north across the minefield, clearing a narrow path. -- Bunny: <HAND> *Picks the bunny back up* <FOOT> I'm no bunny punter. -- It eventually explodes, and its battery flies out near Ben's feet. -- Battery: <EYES> Powerblast brand? How ironic. <HAND> *Places in inventory* -- Ben returns to the stadium entrance, at Horace's shop. He puts the battery from the dead bunny into the RC car. -- <Ben> That should put some life into it. -- Ben steers the car north to the turnstiles, and Horace runs after it, glancing back at Ben. -- <Horace> Okay, that's far enough, bud!/Let's bring it back now./Demo's over./You listenin' to me?/Take 'er back, slow and easy./Come on, we don't want nobody getting' hurt!/I think ye've had yer fun./Show's over, let's go!/Okay, that's funny. Now, let's go./Come on, let the other kids play!/I can't watch my store and this thing at the same time, you know!/I know you don't have the money for this thin!/Careful!/Don't touch my bunnies!/I got my eye on you!/Don't make me count! -- If Ben obeys and sends the car back: -- <Horace> Well, it's about time! -- If Ben sends the car past the exit turnstiles: -- <Horace> Hey! Don't go in there! -- Horace pulls at the turnstiles, but to no avail. -- Now look what you did! The entrance is all the way through the factory! Hang on, little buddy! Daddy's comin'! -- Horrace runs after the car, leaving Ben by himself at the shop. -- <Ben> Now it's just me and the bunnies. -- Ben takes the entire bunny box. -- Use bunny box on invalid object: Not with my box of bunnies. -- Ben heads back to the minefield with his box of bunnies. -- <Ben> The minefield's been replanted. Tidy little Vultures. -- Ben lets out box, and about ten bunnies start clearing a path through the mine field. If Ben has to go back to the stadium entrance to steal another bunny box, Horace is still chasing after the RC car. -- <Horace> Dang! There goes another Value-Pack! *Replaces the empty space with another bunny box* -- If Ben manages to clear an entire path to the hideout using the pack of bunnies, he is able to reach the entrance. As he approaches, the Vultures come out and flash giant brights in his face. Their apparent leader points a gun at him. -- <Moe> That's the guy I was telling you about, Suzi. <Suzi> You sure? <Moe> Yeah. That's the guy who killed my father. <Suzi> All right, Vultures! Rack 'em up! -- Ben is tied up, and pulled in four directions by four Vultures. -- <Moe> Let's rip 'em quick! <Ben> Listen, Moe! You're making a big mistake- <Moe> Oh, Ben. You're right... We shouldn't do this quickly. We should draw this out, don't you think, Suzi? <Suzi> Hey, I got all night. You heard her, kids... Let's draw this out! -- The Vultures give Ben a good pull, and Ben yells in pain, then they relax. -- A. Your father was killed by Ripburger, not me! B. Corley and I were friends! C. Malcolm wants you to take over his company! D. Let me go, or else... (After A/B/C) E. I'm losing my temper, Maureen! (After A/B/C) F. Okay, that's enough! (After A/B/C) G. I'm innocent!!! <M-A/B/C> Don't you dare talk about my father, you heartless bastard! *Vultures stretch Ben* <M-A/B/C[R]> I said shut up about my dad! *Vultures stretch Ben* <M-D> Or else what? *Go to II* <M-E> And you're about to lose much more. *Vultures stretch Ben* <M-F> Mm... Not quite. *Vultures stretch Ben* <M-G> You're in-something, all right. *Vultures stretch Ben* II: A. I'll sick the Polecats on you! B. I'll tear this place apart! C. I'll call you names! D. I'll get blood all over your driveway! <M-A> The Polecats are in jail, Ben. You put them there, remember? *Vultures stretch Ben, go to I* <M-B> Ironic choice of words, Ben. *Vultures stretch Ben, go to I* <M-C> Ooh! Like what? *Go to III* <M-D> That's good for the landscaping, actually. *Vultures stretch Ben, go to I* III: A. Mink Farmer! B. Diapered Dynamo! C. Freaky, Toaster-loving Old Maid! D. Rat-Bike-Riding, Rubber-covered Vulture! <M-A/C/D> *Vultures stretch Ben three times, go to I* <M-B> How- Where'd you hear that name? <Ben> Your father. He told me just before he died. <Moe> You bludgeoned my father, and then talked about old times? <Ben> I didn't kill him! Ripburger did! A photographer took pictures, but her camera was stolen by the same thug that came after you. <Moe> I... I still have that roll... <Ben> Well, develop it, would you? While I still fit in my clothes? <Moe> Okay, you stay here. <Ben> Hey! -- The Vultures stretch Ben a last time. Some time later, in the hideout, Ben is tied up on a chair in front of Moe, who is looking through the pictures, shocked. -- <Moe> Sorry. <Ben> Yeah, well... Don't sweat it. <Moe> I'm gonna get Ripburger, even if I die trying. <Ben> No, we have to expose Ripburger at the shareholders meeting... That way, we take him down, we save my gang, and your father gets his dying wish: You take over Corley Motors. <Moe> Ripburger cancelled the shareholders meeting. He made a statement to the press that there would be no meeting until the murderers were brought to justice. <Ben> So, no shareholders meeting until we're both dead? <Moe> Hmm... That could be arranged... -- Later that night, Suzi, Ben, and the Vultures are standing in front of a couple diagrams of derby cars. -- <Suzi> Okay, so here we go: Faking Ben and Maureen's death, act one, scene one. Adrian Ripburger, in a desperate attempt to lure our Maureen out of hiding, has developed the following lame-ass scheme: First prize at tonight's smash-up derby is a vintage hardtail that Moe restored with her dad. Rip hopes Moe will try to nab said bike on accounta her sentimental attachment to it. So Ben and Moe play along, put on disguises, and enter the demolition derby. Which ends tragically when their cars explode and both are presumed dead. <Ben> Uh... question. <Suzi> Please save your questions until the end. *Points at a diagram* Now, the explosions in Moe's car can only be triggered by a head-on collision with Ben's car. This ejector seat projects Moe clear of the explosion, and she parachutes to safety. <Ben> Don't you think someone will notice her ejecting out of her car? <Suzi> No, they'll all be watching you running around on fire. <Ben> Yeah, that's another question I have- <Suzi> When your car explodes, you climb from it in flames... and run around the stadium distracting the audience. In your cute little asbestos suit, of course. *Laughs* <Ben> That's some plan. <Suzi> All right, then, let's go blow you little darlin's up! -- At the time of the start of the derby, the crowds are piling into the stands as the announcer begins the show. -- <Announcer> All right folks! Hang on to yer chili dogs, 'cuz it's time to start the Corley Motors Smash-A-Torium Amateur Driver Ultimate Destruction Maximum Carnage Marathon! Let's meet our crash-cage gladiators! -- Four figures stand waving at the roaring crowd and smiling next to their cars. -- <Announcer> That mysterious hooded figure wouldn't give us his real name... He prefers to be known as "The Unknown Avenger," and that's just fine with us, isn't it folks? -- The audience cheers as Ripburger watches from his booth. -- <Ripburger> Oh, now I'm just embarrassed for them. Who do they think they're fooling with those ludicrous disguises? <Announcer> And next to him is another newcomer... Please give a big Smash-A- Torium salute to the Princess of Pileup, Doreen Schmorley! <Ripburger> All right, boys... Sick 'em! -- The four drivers have entered their derby cars, with Ben piloting the red car and Moe in the yellow one. A fifth blue car suddenly enters the stadium. -- <Announcer> And finally, we have a last-minute addition to the lineup tonight. A deadly-looking team known as "The Boom-Boom Brothers." -- The blue car slams into Ben's car, knocking it far back from Moe's. -- <Ben> Grr! <Nestor> Try and get away now, bicycle boy. <Announcer> All right now, are you ready to see some reckless driving? *The crowd roars with approval* Are you ready to see some unnecessarily violent destruction?! Then, let the demolition derby begin!!! -- Immediately Moe gets into place, but then Nestor pins her car against the corner wall. -- <Moe> Where are you, Ben? <Ben> Hang on, Moe! Here I come! -- If Ben tries to get close to Moe, the blue car stops Ben in his tracks, making it impossible for him to get past. -- <Moe> Ben, what are you doing? Get over here and nail me!/Ben, I can't avoid these other cars forever! <Ben> Watch out for the Boom-Boom Brothers, Moe. -- On the southeast end of the derby arena, there's a big a ramp. If Ben tries to leap over to get to Moe, however, the blue car still manages to block him. On the west end of the arena, the green and brown car are stationed, with the green car guarding the west ramp. If Ben can leap off the west ramp and crush the brown car underneath him, it that car stalls. -- <Ben> That car stalled when I bounced off the roof. Looks like these babies have a glass jaw. -- While the brown car remains stalled, Ben rams it towards the east ramp. Ben rams the brown car over the east ramp. The blue car approaches it. -- <Ben> Okay, Boom-Boom Brothers, it's all over. -- Immediately Ben jumps the ramp and smashes on top of the blue car so that it stalls. Ripburger looks in disgust at the scene. -- <Ripburger> Get him! What are you doing? Are you taking a nap?! -- Nestor and Bolus furiously try to restart their car. -- <Ripburger> Idiots! <Ben> Okay, Moe. Time for our big finale! <Moe> Do it! -- Ben and Moe get into position, then they ram each other head-on. The cars burst into a huge ball of flames, and Moe immediately ejects and parachutes to safety, unseen. Ben climbs out amidst the huge flames. -- <Announcer> Now that's an explosion, ladies and gentlemen. Can't see any survivors yet... Wait, what's that? It's the Unknown Avenger, and he's on fire! Let's give him a hand, folks! That looks painful! We really should put him out right away, but what a show, huh? -- Ben runs around in flames, distracting the crowd as they get more excited. -- <Announcer> I guess the Avenger never heard of Stop, Drop, and Roll, huh?/What a pain threshold!/Still no sign of Ms. Schmorley.../This is your moment to shine!/He's still going!/Well, we should put him out, don't you think? *The crowd roars negatively* Well okay, you heard 'em, Avenger.../He's the runner and the torch all in one, folks!/Oh, the humanity! EXIT: That's the way out, but I can't get through that door. -- If Ben goes over to the far west side of the arena below the Vulture's booth and the Corley hardtail, Suzi shouts at him: -- <Suzi> Ben! Quit clowning around and make a diversion!/Ben, you gotta make a big, big diversion! We ain't leavin' without that bike! <Ben> I am a diversion! <Suzi> No offense, but we need a bigger one! The bike is guarded! <Ben> Who cares about the bike? <Suzi> Moe says it's important, so we're not leaving without it! <Ben> All right, I'll see what I can do, but I'm burning at both ends here! Suzi & Co.: <EYES> Looks like all the Vultures are in there. <HAND> Later, hopefully. Vultures: <EYES> They can't get passed that guard, I guess. <HAND> Can't reach them. Guard: <EYES> That guard is stopping the Vultures from stealing Corley's bike. <HAND> Can't reach him. Hardtail: <EYES> That's the hardtail Moe fixed up with her dad. <HAND> The Vultures are gonna have to get that. -- Ben starts running around the perimeter of the arena close to the walls, and they start to catch fire. Eventually, the flames spread across all the walls, and the crowd starts screaming in terror. -- <Announcer> Well, folks, it looks like the party's getting a little out of hand. The stadium seems to be catching fire, but let's all remain calm and- -- A huge pillar of smoke is seen rising from far outside the stadium, and hundreds of people are pouring out. -- <Announcer> Ah, yer right. Derby's over, run for yer lives! -- With the guard gone, the Vultures quickly make off with the hardtail. Soon, all that remain in the stadium are Ben, the stalled brown car, Nestor and Bolus in their car, and Ripburger in his booth. Nestor finally manages to restart their blue car. -- <Ripburger> Finally! Now, squish that firefly while he's hot! -- The blue car starts up and starts to chase Ben around, who is still on foot. -- <Nestor> *Laughs* Look at him run! -- Ben climbs on top of the brown car as the blue car rams into it repeatedly, trying to knock him off. Ben can hop onto the roof of the blue car as they try to ram him. While Ben is on top, the blue car slowly circles the arena. If Ben tries to run for the exit, the blue car chases him inside to a dead end, and he just manages to get back out. As the car circles around, at a certain point it gets close to the flaming wreckage of Ben and Moe's cars. Ben runs into the flames and disappears from view. The blue car follows, stopping in the flames. -- <Ripburger> What happened? Did you get him? <Nestor> We finally got him, Bolus! That means Ripburger has to make us vice- presidents now, like he promised! And give us ten thousand shares of stock each! Hmm... Funny smell... What's that? The temperature light? -- Not realizing their mistake until it was too late, Bolus and Nestor's car explodes into tiny pieces. -- <Ripburger> Well... on the bright side... I just made twenty thousand shares of stock. Time to start the shareholders meeting. SCENE SIX: THE SHAREHOLDERS MEETING -- Much later, back at the Vulture's hideout, Ben walks up to Moe, who is sorting through a bunch of motorcycle parts. -- <Ben> Where's the hardtail? <Moe> All over the floor, Mr. Avenger. <Ben> What? What happened to your deep, sentimental attachement to your father's vintage bike? <Moe> Ben, it's just a bike! I can put it together in about half an hour. That's assuming of course, that I can find that key. Moe: A. What key are you talking about? B. What are we in, anyway? C. How was your flight? D. I'll see what I can do. (After A) E. What's in the safe that's so important? (After A) F. But how are we going to get in the factory? (After F) G. How do I find the secret passage? (After G) H. How do I find the right spot to kick? (After H) I. What if I can't find that spot? (After I) J. That kicking part is pretty vague... (After J) K. I'll never find that secret passage. (After B) L. I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking. (After L) M. Remember that time you tried to kill me? <M-A> The key to my dad's safe. I remember he hid it somewhere on this bike... but I've looked everywhere and I can't find anything that even looks like a key! <M-B> It's a C330 'Big Mouth' Industrial Cargo Jumbo Transport we fixed up. We wanted to get it going so we could take it to biker rallies. <Ben> You're going to try to fly this thing? <Moe> Rolling, Ben. Rolling. This baby's flying days are over, just like mine. <M-C> Well, there were some explosions during takeoff, and I landed in a mine field... But other than that, it was fine. <M-D> Right. *End convo* <M-E> My dad's will! I'm counting on him to tell the truth about me finally. <Ben> Why did he keep you a secret all these years? <Moe> He didn't want people to find out about my mom. <Ben> What's so bad about Mrs. Corley? <Moe> She wasn't my mom. <Ben> Ah. <M-F> In the back of the factory, there's a secret entrance that leads straight into Dad's office. He used to sneak me in so I could help him with his bike designs. <Ben> When he got too old to do all the work himself? <Moe> No, this is back when I was six. <M-G> Well, it's tricky. You have to wait for all the utility meters to turn black... Then you kick the wall in just the right spot, and you're in! <M-H> Dad just knew exactly where to kick. But I remember that there was this big crack in the wall... And if I lined up that crack with my eye level, and kicked the wall in front of me, this weird portal would open up. <Ben> Hmm... <M-I> Just line up your eyes with the crack, wait for the meters to go black, and kick! <M-J> Look, I was only six! Give me a break! <M-K> Hey, Ben, can't you see I'm busy? If I could find the spot to kick when I was only six, I'm sure you can find it on your own. <M-L> Uh-huh. Great, now help me find that key. <M-M> Yeah, we really taut you a lesson! Hee, hee! Get it? <EYES> She looks busy. <HAND> Later, hopefully. Parts: <EYES> -- Ben looks carefully at the parts strewn about the floor. He sees two number combinations: 154492 and 48053. <FOOT> Nah, I think she has them in order. -- As Ben goes to leave, Moe hands him the photos from the roll of film. -- <Moe> Here, take the photos. I don't want 'em. Show them to someone important, if you get a chance. -- Ben heads back to the factory, with smoke still billowing out of the stadium. -- Use photos on invalid object: These need more exposure than that. Stadium: <EYES> Look at that stadium burn! -- If Ben tries knocking on the main factory entrance, a man appears at the panel. -- <Official> Sorry, the meeting's already started. <Ben> I know! Let me in! <Official> Mr. Ripburger is giving his keynote address. No interruptions. <Ben> But I'm a shareholder! <Official> Yeah, right! *Closes the panel* <Ben> Jerk. -- Ben goes over to the machine room behind the factory, with the cracked walls, utility meters, and closed portal. -- Meters: <EYES> Wow, this place sucks up the juice!/These must be the meters Moe was talking about./Cool. <HAND> Don't want the power company after me, too. Hatch I: <EYES> It's closed. <HAND> It's closed mechanically, in a serious way. Rusted, too. Hatch II: <EYES> It's sealed shut. Wall: <EYES> This foundation really needs some work./Well, this must be Moe's wall. Don't see anything special about it, except for that crack she mentioned. <HAND> I'll beat it up later, when I have more time. <FOOT> -- Ben kicks the wall. He kicks it in the right spot while the meters are stopped, the big hatch opens up. -- -- Ben enters the hatch and soon finds himself in Corley's office. If Ben entered this room before the shareholders meeting, he hears footsteps approaching. -- <Ben> Uh-oh. *Heads back to the meter room* <Officer> Hmm... Window: <EYES> Look at that stadium burn! That's gonna take a bite out of the pension fund. <HAND> *Bangs hard on the window* Thick glass. <FOOT> *Kicks the window* Shatter-proof. Bike art: <EYES> Now, that's art. <HAND> Outta reach. Corley's desk: <EYES> Very ausstere. No drawers. <HAND> Furniture moving? No. Floor safe: <EYES> -- Ben looks down at the safe. There is a six-number code entry input, and a large button. Ben inputs the code 154492 he saw back at the Vulture hideout. Then he pushes the button, and the safe pops up. -- <Ben> There's, uh, some sorta card... And a tape! I sure hope that's Corley's will. Use tape on invalid object: I don't think that plays reel-to-reel tapes. Safe: <EYES> It's empty. <HAND> It's open. -- If Ben goes back to the hideout after opening the safe, he sees that Moe has disappeared. -- <Ben> Uh-oh. Hope she's not out looking for me. -- Ben enters the hallway leading out of Corley's office. -- Card reader: <EYES> This is where you put the card. <HAND> I don't want to set off any alarms. -- The far right door and the left door are locked, but the right door opens up if Ben uses the card from the safe. -- <Ben> Cool. -- When Ben enters the middle room or the right room, he can sneak a peak at the beginning of the shareholders meeting. -- <Ben> Looks like the meeting's started. -- Ripburger stands in front of a gigantic applauding audience, behind a slide projector. -- <Ripburger> ...was not only an inspirational leader, but also a great personal friend. His loss affects us all deeply. Malcolm and I often spoke of the future. *The slide changes to a picture of young Malcolm and Ripburger at the factory entrance* We talked of a day when Corley Motors would move beyond its humble beginnings and into a new vehicular age. And, although his tragic death took him from us sooner than anyone expected... *Fake sob* Malcolm Corley's dream remains. And I shall carry out that dream in his memory. Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present to you the future of Corley Motors... *The slide changes to a picture of a hover-van* The Corley Minivan! <Ben> Ack. Corley was right. I never dreamed it would actually come to minivans, though! -- If Ben was watching from the middle door, the woman occupying it suddenly notices Ben. -- <Mavis> Hey, who are you?! How long have you been there? Oh, security! *Ben runs off* Help! Security! -- Ben runs down the hallway and out of the factory. An officer appears in Mavis's office. -- <Mavis> What took ya so long? He ran down the hallway! Move it! -- The officer comes into Corley's office and looks around. -- <Officer> Mavis must be seeing things. -- After a moment, Ben re-enters the hallway. If Ben tries to get into her room as she's controlling the slides: -- <Mavis> Man, that Ripburger can yap! Where does he get this crap?/What a stuffed shirt!/Geez, my feet are killin' me!/When's this thing gonna end!/Check out that double chin!/Blah, blah, blah.../I sure miss old Corley. -- Mavis catches Ben again before he can do anything. -- <Mavis> Ahh! -- Ben escapes before the officer arrives at Mavis's office. -- <Mavis> It was that same guy! The big one! Catch him this time, will ya?!/Why can't you catch that guy? Donuts weighin' you down?/He was in here again! Are you even looking?/I could be dead by now, with all your protection!/Don't look at me like that./How could you miss a big guy like that?/You think I'm kidding around here?/Are you getting paid?/Ah, forget it. -- The officer fails to find anything in Corley's office. -- <Officer> This is gonna get old fast./That woman needs some sleep./Maybe she's just lonely./Hmm. I wonder if this could be Mavis's way of getting my attention.../I wonder if she's got a thing for me.../Yeah, I think that Mavis is trying to send me a message./Why doesn't she just ask me in for some coffee?/This is gettin' old. -- In the film control room on the right, Ben can hear Ripburger's muffled speech. -- <Ripburger> ...automotive superhighway.../Motorcycles aren't bad, but they can attract an undesirable element.../...wheel-based stereotyping.../Let me reiterate that.../...forward direction.../...value engineering.../...idea whose time has come.../Malcolm Corley's dream.../My vision.../Adapt or perish.../Preservation of the status quo.../...senseless tragedy.../...discretionary employment.../...inefficient bi-radial vehicles.../Public offering is a strategy, not a goal.../...tires filling up the landfills.../...capital growth margins.../...and our children...well, they're our future.../...family values.../...we've decided to pursue some out- sourcing opportunities.../...and I said to the President.../...the upside of this.../...in my conversations with the common employee.../...and after a lot of soul searching.../...negative variances.../...our line of Minivans.../...a bright new day.../...boldly go where no manufacturer.../In this time of economic downturn.../And Malcolm said to me, "I trust you, Rip,"... West door: It's locked. -- There are motor and lamp levers on the right side of the room. Ben can mess around with the levers to screw up Ripburger's slide show. If Ben turns the motor lever all the way down, the tape stops; if he turns it all the way up, the tape's movement is skewered; if he turns the lamp all the way down, the lights go out; if he turns the lamp all the way up, the picture gets too bright. Ripburger stops speaking and looks, puzzled, at the camera of the control room on his stand. Ben quickly slips out, and Mavis looks in to the room. -- <Mavis> What the- /Ai-yai-yai!/Not again!/Oh, for cryin' out loud!/Come on, old timer!/I've about had it with you.../You can be replaced, you know!/I'm gonna kick you until you're dead, you stone-age heap!/Tomorrow, I call the service guy!/Did your warranty just run out or something?/Ah! <Ripburger> What the hell is going on up there?!/This is intolerable!/Not again!/You! In the control booth, wake up!/We are a high-tech corporation! This can't happen!/I've just about had it with you!/As soon as this meeting's over, you're fired!/I can do worse things than fire you, you know!/I'm calling the temp agency tomorrow!/I knew unionization would lead to this!/Just fix it! <Mavis> I'm on it. Just re-adjusting the lamp and motor controls, here.../Just a lamp adjustment. Be fixed in no time!/Motor speed got off, is all. Hang on a minute... -- The picture flickers, then reappears as normal. -- <Ripburger> Uh... Uh, yes. Back to the presentation!/As I was saying./Sorry about that!/Where was I?/Now then... <Mavis> I hate this old equipment! My girdle needs less adjusting! -- If Ben turns the motor lever all the way down and the lamp lever all the way up, the picture completely brights up and starts spewing blotches of light. -- <Ripburger> What you see before you now... is my vision for Corley Motors! -- The crowd starts gasping in alarm. Ripburger looks, shocked, at the picture. -- <Mavis> Oh, perfect! <Ripburger> This is a disaster! <Mavis> You're telling me. *Small explosion in the control room* We're gonna have some major down-time here... Why don't you tell a joke or something. <Ripburger> I don't know any jokes! *Turns to the audience* Heh, heh. You know, this reminds me of an amusing anecdote... about a... uh... a, uh... -- Mavis hopelessly fondles at the smoking control box. -- <Mavis> Well, I'm outta ideas! Control room: I'll wait 'till she puts out that fire. -- Ben enters the now-unoccupied slide-reel room. -- East door: I'm not getting caught up in that mess. Monitor: <EYES> I can see all over the company from here. <HAND> I don't want to set off any alarms. Video camera: <EYES> It's locked on that easel. Easel: <EYES> This is where you put the cards for the big-screen video projector. Reel-to-reel: <EYES> Now, this is multimedia! -- Ben places Moe's photos on the easel and the tape of Corley's will on the reel. The slide begins cycling through the photos of Riburger's murder of Malcolm Corley. -- <Ripburger> Now, this next slide shows our new, more aggressive corporate strategy... -- As the slide shows the final photos, the audience gasps in horror. Ripburger looks back at the screen and chokes. Ben chuckles and starts the tape of Corley's will. Malcolm's voice booms over the stage. -- <Corley> Hello there. If you're hearing this, I musta croaked. Well, people gotta move on, you know, and make room for other people... and that's what I'm here to talk about today. I've made room for someone else to take my place at Corley Motors... And it ain't that embezzling crook Adrian Ripburger! Rip, you don't belong at the head of my company, you belong in jail! <Ripburger> Ah... <Corley> I let that man talk me into far too many things... like keepin' my daughter a secret! He was wrong. I was wrong. I shoulda stood by her. I hope, Maureen, that you can forgive me, and that you take over Corley Motors and run it however you see fit. All right, that's enough. How do I turn this damn thing off? <Ripburger> I, ah... -- The audience erupts into a chorus of boos and hisses. -- <Ripburger> I'm... sorry you had to hear that tape... from... one of Malcolm's... psychiatric sessions. Near the end, he suffered many paranoid delusions... -- Maureen glares up at Ripburger from the audience. -- <Ripburger> He was haunted by powerful forces of his own creation- <Moe> And here's one of them! -- Moe jumps up on the stage and elbows Ripburger off of the podium. -- <Moe> Ladies and gentlemen! My name is Maureen Corley, and do I have a heck of a story for you! By the time I'm done, you'll see why... this man should be in jail! Hey! Where'd he hobble off to? <Ben> Uh-oh! -- Ben looks over at the monitor. -- <Ben> There he goes! -- The video monitor shows Ripburger hobbling off towards the exit. Ben quickly runs off to catch him. Moe continues explaining things to the audience. -- <Moe> And then he sent his goons after me! -- Ben bursts out of the factory just in time to see Ripburger make his escape on a large semi truck. -- <Ben> Run, Ripburger... When it's time to find you, we'll just follow the shiny trail. -- Some time later, Moe wraps up her speech. -- <Moe> Yes, of course we'll have day care facilities! Any more questions? -- Ben appears from the side of the stage, and the audience starts applauding. -- <Moe> Oh, speak of the devil! Come over here, Ben! *Whispers* Isn't this great, Ben? We're finally where we were meant to be all along! SCENE SEVEN: RIPBURGER -- At the break of the next day, Moe and Ben are riding west along Highway 9. -- <Ben> So, after we pick up your bike, we'll go get my gang out of jail. <Moe> And then find out why my gang never showed up to help us! <Ben> And then you go business suit shopping. <Moe> Don't remind me. <Ben> Don't complain. You're going to be rich. <Moe> At this point, I'd settle for just a little peace and quiet. -- Suddenly, Ripburger's semi pulls up right behind them. Two gun turrets appear from the front end and begin firing. Ben gains some distance, but Ripburger shifts to a new gear and ram's Ben's bike, then gives an evil cackle. Ben's bike is hanging off one side. Ben is securely gripped onto the front end, and Moe is slipping off the bottom end. Ben tries to grab for her, but she appears to fall off. -- <Ripburger> She interrupted my speech, Ben! She really shouldn't have! I was just about to talk about the inherent dangers of motorcycle operation! -- Ben looks up, as the Vulture's Jumbo Cargo Transport pulls up from behind Ripburger's semi. Ripburger looks back in surprise. -- <Suzi> Can't you make this damn thing go any faster?! -- The transport opens its front hull, opening a big space meant to swallow Ripburger's truck. The truck does not slow down. If Ben can't slow down Ripburger's truck in time, it falls crashing down into Poyahoga Gorge. -- <Ben> *Groan*/Damn./Oops./Hmm. Lemme try that again. Bike: <EYES> I hate seeing her like this. <HAND> If I touched it, it would fall off. Panel: <HAND> -- Ben opens the panel to block Ripburger's view. Ripburger pushes the panel back down with his cane. -- Rip's cane: <HAND> *Ben grabs the cane* <Ripburger> My cane! <Ben> You'll need more than a cane when I'm through with you, Ripburger. Grill: <EYES> Hey, it's got a crawl space, just like Emmit's truck! <HAND> -- Ben edges to one side, then opens the grill. -- Fan: <EYES> This looks like a big meat grinder! -- The fan blocks Ben from getting into the crawl space. If Ben tries to insert the tire iron: -- <Ben> Pretty small. -- If Ben has a bunny box or some extra bunnies, he can plunge them into the fan and watch them splatter. -- <Ben> Fun. -- Ben uses Rip's cane with the fan, and it clogs it up. Ben jumps through the space and bursts through the back compartment, behind the cockpit with the fuel lines. -- <Ben> Cool. Ripburger: <EYES> I'd rather he didn't know I was back here. Fuel line I: <HAND> *Tries to dislodge the fuel pump* Won't budge. Fuel line II: <HAND> *Tries to dislodge the fuel pump* Won't budge. Fuel line III: <HAND> *Tries to dislodge the fuel pump* Won't budge. Fuel line IV: <HAND> *The bandaged line leaks when lifted* Hmm. -- Ben uses his tire iron on the fuel line. Moe's hand appears from the bottome of the truck. Ben successfully disconnects it. -- <Ripburger> Hah! No one sneaks up on me from behind! -- Ripburger breaks open the back panel and points a gun at Ben. Suddenly, Moe jumps up from the side of the truck and falls on Ripburger; his gunshot misses. The truck loses its speed and is swallowed up by the Vulture transport. Ben and Moe fall off the truck onto the transport floor. Ripburger's gun turret opens fire, and Ben and the Vultures take cover. The turret fires at the cockpit controls until they explode and start to fizzle. -- <Ben> I thought you said this thing couldn't move! <Suzi> I said it couldn't fly, I never said it couldn't taxi! <Moe> Well, flying would be nice since we're headed for the gorge! -- The Poyahoga Gorge Bridge is still destroyed, and the transport continues to hurtle directly towards it. -- <Ben> Ripburger! You're going to kill all of us! <Ripburger> Shh! Ben... don't ruin the ending! <Ben> How do you stop this thing? <Suzi> From the cockpit! <Ben> Hmm. Vultures: <HAND> Later, hopefully. <TALK> Hey, Suzi! <Suzi> Ben! Quit yappin' and make something happen, will ya? Vulture: <TALK> Hello? <Vulture> Back off, man! -- When Ben moves toward the cockpit, Ripburger opens fire again. -- <Suzi> Duck! <Moe> Careful, Ben! Ladder: <HAND> -- Ben climbs up the ladder to the cockpit. -- <Ben> So much for the controls. I could have used those. -- All of the controls seem to be malfunctioning. -- <Ben> Damn./Busted./That's trashed./Not working./That might have been useful./That'll never work again./I could have used that./Shot to hell. -- Ben pushes a green button, and a blinking monitor comes to life. Ben cycles through the options. -- I (MAIN MENU): A. TAKE OFF- Go to II B. IN FLIGHT- Go to XIV C. LANDING- Go to XIX D. EMERGENCY- Go to XXV II (TAKE OFF): A. PRE TAKE-OFF- Go to III B. MID TAKE-OFF- Go to IV C. POST TAKE-OFF- Go to V D. BACK- Go to I III (PRE TAKE-OFF): A. CARGO- Go to VI B. ENGINE- Go to VII C. CREW- Go to VIII D. BACK- Go to II IV (MID TAKE-OFF): A. ACCELERATION- Go to IX B. FLAPS- Go to X C. RUDDER- Go to XI D. BACK- Go to II V (POST TAKE-OFF): A. CRUISE SETTINGS- <Error> B. SYSTEMS CHECK- <Error> C. GEAR- Go to XII D. BACK- Go to II VI (CARGO): A. PRESSURIZE HOLD- <Error> B. DE-PRESSURE HOLD- <Error> C. BACK- Go to III VII (ENGINE): A. SYSTEMS CHECK- <Error> B. START ENGINES- <Error> C. BACK- Go to III VIII (CREW): A. PREP CODE ALPHA- <Error> B. PREP CODE BETA- <Error> C. PREP CODE OMEGA- <Error> D. BACK- Go to III IX (ACCELERATION): A. GEOMETRIC- <Error> B. PARABOLIC- <Error> C. LOGARITHMIC- <Error> D. BACK- Go to IV X (FLAPS): A. ALIGN- <Error> B. ATTENUATE- <Error> C. AMORTIZE- <Error> D. BACK- Go to IV XI (RUDDER): A. OBTUSE- <Error> B. INTRACTABLE- <Error> C. FURLONG- <Error> D. BACK- Go to IV XII (GEAR): A. CHECK GEAR- <Error> B. RAISE GEAR- <Success> C. DETACH GEAR- <Error> D. BACK- Go to V XIII (START ENGINES): A. ENGINE ONE- <Error> B. ENGINE TWO- <Error> C. ENGINE THREE- <Error> D. BACK- Go to VII XIV (IN FLIGHT): A. NAVIGATION- Go to XV B. AUTO PILOT- Go to XVI C. ENTERTAINMENT- Go to XVII D. BACK- Go to I XV (NAVIGATION): A. LOCATION FINDER- <Error> B. PATH FINDER- <Error> C. SEND POSITION- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIV XVI (AUTO PILOT): A. ENGAGE- <Error> B. RESUME- <Error> C. OFF- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIV XVII (ENTERTAINMENT): A. MOVIES- Go to XVIII B. GAMES- <Error> C. NEWS- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIV XVIII (MOVIES): A. CHILDREN'S- <Error> B. GENERAL- <Error> C. ADULT-ONLY- LOADING FILM... <Error> D. BACK- Go to XVII XIX (LANDING): A. WATER LANDING- Go to XX B. RUNWAY LANDING- Go to XXI C. DITCH- Go to XXII D. BACK- Go to I XX (WATER LANDING): A. DEPLOY LIFE VESTS- <Error> B. INFLATE RAFTS- <Error> C. SEAL COCKPIT- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIX XXI (RUNWAY LANDING): A. APPROACH PATTERNS- Go to XXIII B. AIR TRAFFIC- Go to XXIV C. MANUAL CONTROLS- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIX XXII (DITCH AIRCRAFT): A. ALARM- <Error> B. SEATBELT SIGNS- <Error> C. CRASH INSTRUCTIONS- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XIX XXIII (AIRCRAFT PATTERNS): A. LHLR- <Error> B. LRLH- <Error> C. LRLR- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXI XXIV (AIR TRAFFIC): A. SEND AUTO-ID- <Error> B. REQUEST CLEARANCE- <Error> C. SEND MAYDAY- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXI XXV (EMERGENCY): A. CONTROL LOSS- Go to XXVI B. ENGINE FAILURE- Go to XXVII C. MILITARY CRISIS- Go to XXVIII D. BACK- Go to I XXVI (CONTROL LOSS): A. WING SYSTEMS- Go to XXIX B. BRAKE SYSTEMS- Go to XXX C. NAVIGATION- Go to XXXI D. BACK- Go to XXV XXVII (ENGINE FAILURE): A. POWER LOSS- Go to XXXII B. OVERHEATING- Go to XXXIII C. CORE MELTDOWN- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXV XXVIII (MILITARY CRISIS): A. SELF-DESTRUCT- Go to XXXIV B. NOTIFY PRESIDENT- <Error> C. PASSENGER CONTROL- Go to XXXV D. BACK- Go to XXV XXIX (WING SYSTEMS): A. ENGAGE DEV-LOC- <Error> B. POLARIZE AILERONS- <Error> C. FLUSH SUB-FLAPS- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXVI XXX (BRAKE SYSTEMS): A. EMERGENCY BRAKES- Go to XXXVI B. DRAG CHUTES- Go to XXXVII C. REVERSE ENGINES- Go to XXXVIII D. BACK- Go to XXVI XXXI (NAVIGATION): A. POSITION UNKNOWN- <Error> B. HEADING UNKNOWN- <Error> C. ALTITUDE UNKNOWN- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXVI XXXII (POWER LOSS): A. FUEL LINES- Go to XXXIX B. FUEL PUMP- Go to XL C. FUEL TANK- Go to XLI D. BACK- Go to XXVII XXXIII (OVERHEATING): A. ENGINE SHUT OFF- <Error> B. ENGINE SPRINKLERS- <Error> C. THERMOSTAT- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXVII XXXIV (SELF-DESTRUCT): A. BRAVO- Go to XLII B. PURITY- Go to XLIII C. TOAST- Go to XLIV D. BACK- Go to XXVIII XXXV (PASSENGER CONTROL): A. TEAR GAS- <Error> B. DROP NET- <Error> C. NEUTRALIZE- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXVIII XXXVI (EMERGENCY BRAKES): A. FRONT BRAKES- Go to XLV B. REAR BRAKES- Go to XLV C. BOTH BRAKES- Go to XLV D. BACK- Go to XXX XXXVII (DRAG CHUTES): A. PARTIAL DEPLOYMENT- <Error> B. FULL DEPLOYMENT- <Error> C. DETACH CHUTES- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXX XXXVIII (REVERSE ENGINES): A. FULL REVERSE - <Error> B. HALF REVERSE- <Error> C. DOUBLE REVERSE- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXX XXXIX (FUEL LINES): A. ALTERNATE LINES- <Error> B. OPEN ALL LINES- <Error> C. SHUT ALL LINES- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXXII XL (FUEL PUMPS): A. PUMP STATUS- <Error> B. PRIME PUMPS- <Error> C. STOP PUMPS- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXXII XLI (FUEL TANK): A. CHECK LEVEL- <Error> B. PRESSURIZE TANKS- <Error> C. DROP FUEL- <Error> D. BACK- Go to XXXII XLII (BRAVO): A. ADOBE- Go to XLVI B. NEITHER- Go to XLVI C. OF- Go to XLVI XLIII (PURITY): A. ADOBE- Go to XLVI B. NEITHER- Go to XLVI C. OF- Go to XLVII XLIV (TOAST): A. ADOBE- Go to XLVI B. NEITHER- Go to XLVI C. OF- Go to XLVI XLV (ABS OVERRIDE): A. YES- <Error> B. NO- <Error> XLVI (SUFFIX I): A. ESSENCE- INCORRECT B. SALMON- INCORRECT C. DIABLO- INCORRECT XLVII (SUFFIX II): A. ESSENCE- CORRECT... <Error> B. SALMON- INCORRECT C. DIABLO- INCORRECT <Error> THAT SYSTEM HAS BEEN SEVERELY DAMAGED AND IS NOT RESPONDING <Success> <Ben> Here goes nothing... -- The transport begins to shake violently. -- <Suzi> What the- <Moe> Aah! -- The wheels of the transport are raised, and the main hull slams into the pavement, tearing through the road. -- <Moe> Ben! What did you do?! -- Ripburger stands up and aims his gun at Moe. Ben throws himself on him from the cockpit, and Ripburger and Ben struggle over the weapon. The transport skids up to the edge of the gorge and stops. The truck is thrown forward out of the front hull and hangs out of the transport mouth, over the gorge. Ripburger is thrown out of the truck, and his coat catches on an exposed gun turret. The transport balances dangerously on the edge of the cliff. Moe calls out to Ben from the mouth of the tranport. -- <Moe> Ben! Ben! Are you alive?! <Ben> I am, but I don't know about Ripburger. <Moe> I can see him. He's out cold! -- Ripburger opens an eyelid, still grasping his gun. -- <Moe> Climb back here, quick! -- Ben tries to climb over the side of the truck to the transport opening. -- <Moe> Careful, Ben! -- Ripburger takes a potshot at Ben, and Ben quickly climbs back up to the top of the truck. -- <Ripburger> *Laughs* I'm taking you and your friends with me, Ben! <Ben> All you're taking is the wrong kinda medication! -- If Ben can't get escape soon enough, the truck engine explodes and the transport crashes into the gorge. -- Ripburger: <EYES> That's one ill-tempered mongrel. <TALK> Jerk. <Ripburger> *Laughs* <HAND> Can't reach him. -- Ben enters the pilot seat of the truck. One of the buttons activates the monitor. -- <Computer> WARNING- FUEL LEAK. THIS VEHICLE HAS BEEN REPORTED AS STOLEN. I (MAIN MENU): A. FREIGHT MENU- Go to II B. ENGINE MENU- Go to III C. DEFENSE MENU- Go to IV D. BACK II (FREIGHT MENU): A. WEIGHT B. TEMPERATURE C. VITAL SIGNS D. BACK- Go to I <C-A> CARGO WEIGHT- 0 LBS <C-B> CARGO TEMP- 64 DEG <C-C> CARGO VITALS- NO VITALS III (ENGINE MENU): A. START ENGINE B. BACK- Go to I <C-A> *The engine explodes* IV (DEFENSE MENU): A. MACHINE GUNS- Go to V B. ACTIVATE ARMOR- Go to VI C. DETACH TRAILOR D. BACK- Go to I <C-C> ATTENTION- CORLEY MOTORS PROHIBITS THE USE OF CARGO FOR DEFENSE. WE RECOMMEND ALERT, DEFENSIVE DRIVING TO PREVENT HIJACKING SITUATIONS. V (MACHINE GUNS): A. CONTROL- Go to VII B. MAINTENANCE C. ABOUT D. BACK- Go to IV <C-B> NEXT SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE- 300 MI. <C-C> CORLEY MOTORS HAS EQUIPPED THIS VEHICLE WITH SOCKET-MOUNTED MEDIUM-BARREL MACHINE GUNS. THESE ARE SAFETY DEVICES. THEY HAVE BEEN PROVIDED FOR YOUR PROTECTION. AND FOR THE PROTECTION OF CORLEY MOTORS PROPERTY. THEY ARE NOT TO BE USED FOR SPORT, CROWD CONTROL, OR TO GAIN COMMERCIAL ADVANTAGE. THANK YOU. VI (ACTIVATE ARMOR): A. WHEEL PLATES B. FUEL LINE COVER C. WINDOW BARS D. BACK- Go to IV <C-A> PLEASE NOTE: THIS VEHICLES'S EXTRA ARMOR WAS REMOVED TO INCREASE FUEL EFFICIENCY. AND TO ENHANCE STYLING. <C-B> *See VI-A* <C-C> *See VI-A* VII (GUN CONTROL): A. AIM- Go to VIII B. FIRE C. SYSTEM OFF D. BACK- Go to IV <C-B> -- The turret fires, but does not jolt Ripburger off of it. -- <Ripburger> *Laughs* I think you just killed a seagull! <C-C> *See VII-C* VIII (TURRET POSITION): A. RAISE B. LOWER C. BACK- Go to VII <C-A> UNABLE TO MOVE TURRET. CHECK FOR DEBRIS OBSTRUCTING BARREL MOBILITY. <C-B> *See VIII-A* <VII-C> -- The gun turret retracts, detaching Ripburger from it. Ripburger falls and grabs onto the semi's license plate. The plate breaks off, and the screaming Ripburger plummets into the gorge. The plate read "Can't beat a Corley." -- <Ben> Well, that answers that. -- Ben climbs down the truck and into the transport. The Vultures panic and run out of the transport. Moe tries to stop them. -- <Moe> Wait, come back! We need your weight in the plane! -- Ben is the only one left inside the burning transport. If Ben tries to escape on foot, the truck explodes and he is engulfed by the flames. -- Bike: <EYES> Can't leave that behind! <HAND> -- Ben mounts his bike and starts the ignition. The truck explodes into flames, but Ben manages to escape on his bike before the transport dives into the gorge. -- CODA -- Funeral ceremony for Malcolm Corley. Hundreds of bikers pass by the gravesite in memorandum. Malcolm's closest friends, along with Ben and Moe, stand next to the coffin as Father Torque reads the eulogy. -- <Torque> Life... was a game to him. And he played it... by his own rules. He was... a mystery, to most of us... and yet, an inspiration... to us all. He gave us freedom... he gave us power... he gave us wings... he gave us wheels. Thank you, Malcolm Corley, for giving us a dream... that will never die. -- Some time later, Ben and Moe are awkwardly sitting alone in a limo, silent. -- <Moe> So... <Ben> So. <Moe> Uh, maybe we could do lunch sometime next week...? <Ben> Yeah, sure. Lunch sounds great. <Moe> Things aren't going to change, are they Ben? I mean, just because I'm in charge of the company now... and living in a mansion and riding around in limos... That doesn't mean we won't spend a lot of time together, right? <Ben> Look, Moe... You're in a different league now. You shouldn't be hanging around with the likes of me anymore. <Moe> But, Ben- -- Moe gets interrupted by a cell phone call. -- <Moe> Just a second! Hello? What?! No, no, no, that's crazy! Is he nuts? Move the meeting up to five and tell the plant foreman that I'm coming over personally to inspect those parts. I know... I know! That's what I told him... -- Moe looks over and sees that Ben has disappeared. -- <Moe> *Sighs* Excuse me? What was that last part? No, no, no. That alloy was flawed to begin with. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Great. -- Ben rides his bike alone into the sunset as end credits roll. -- THE END Closing comments: This FAQ was written and edited 100% by myself, Lando_Kashmir. You can reach me by my email address, Lando_Kashmir@comcast.net, for comments or suggestions for improvement. This guide is copyright 2007 by Lando_Kashmir and may not be hosted on any website except for the standard GameFAQs or Game Spot without my permission.