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    FAQ/Walkthrough by CyricZ

    Version: 1.2 | Updated: 07/29/01 | Printable Version | Search This Guide

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    An FAQ/Walkthrough by CyricZ
    Version 1.2
    E-mail: cyricz42@yahoo.com
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    1. Introduction
    2. FAQ
    3. Menus
    4. Level Walkthroughs
       A. Hungover
       B. Windy
       C. Barn Boys
       D. Windy, Part II
       E. Bats Tower
       F. Sloprano
       G. Uga Buga
       H. Windy, Part III
       I. Spooky
       J. It's War
       K. Heist
    5. Multiplayer
       A. Settings
       B. Weapons
       C. Special Scenarios
       D. Deathmatches
    6. Miscellany
       A. Money Locations
       B. Tail Locations
       C. Cheat Codes
    7. Legal
    8. Credits
    9. Version Updates
    10. The Final Word
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    1. Introduction
    
    Hi!  Welcome to my fourth FAQ!  This FAQ is for Conker's Bad Fur Day,
    Rare's irreverent, twisted, potty-mouthed platform game.  Yes.  This
    game is NOT for children.  I repeat, this game is NOT FOR CHILDREN!
    Not only should you be mature to play this game, but it helps if you
    also have a South Park-y sense of humor.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    2. FAQ
    
    Q: What is Conker's Bad Fur Day?
    
    A: Conker's Bad Fur Day (BFD) is a platform game created by Rare.  It's
    not like any other game Nintendo has ever sponsored.  It has bad
    language, sexual references, and graphic violence (Well, as graphic as
    violence can get for a cartoon).
    
    Q: I'm under 17.  How can I convince my parents to let me buy this game?
    
    A: You can't.  They see all and know all...  I only help with getting
    through the game, not with getting the game...
    
    Q: So, why does this game deserve it's M rating?
    
    A: Well...
    
    Language: Everything but the f-word and major anatomy references are in
    full audibility.
    
    Sexual references: Um... Well, let's just leave it with a big
    resounding "yes"...
    
    Violence: Pieces of animals fly everywhere. Blood, gore, bones, aaallll
    over the place.
    
    Anything else? Feces, putting out fires with one's one liquid waste,
    and lots of other stuff.
    
    Q: Could you please just specifically tell me everything in the game
    that's bad?
    
    A: Okay, but *SPOILERS!!!*
    
    Language: hell, damn, ass, bastard, bitch, shit, twat, and I'm probably
    forgetting others...
    
    Sexual references: References to oral sex involving a cog being placed
    on a peg.  References to anal sex in the same manner, and references to
    homosexuality.  A boiler has large brass testicles.  A sunflower has
    large breasts.  A bee pollinates the flower, and off-screen, one can 
    hear orgasm.  Scantily clad female rock creatures and cavewomen.  
    References to a caveman and his "bone".
    
    Violence: Insects, mice, cavemen, squirrels, bears, dinosaurs, catfish,
    bats, cows, weasels, panthers, zombies, all killed in violent manners.
    Decapitations, exposed brain, and exposed bone.  Damage to crotch
    sensitive areas.
    
    Bodily Excretions: Vomit, urine, and feces all play a role.  Feces
    comprises a large portion of some areas, including watching cows
    excrete, swimming through feces, and fighting an enemy made of feces.
    
    Mature Themes: Drugs, war, suicide, bittersweet ending...
    
    What's NOT in the game:
    
    Bleeped out f-word.  Bleeped out c-word (male organ).  No clear nudity.  
    Pixellation covers the caveman's "bone".  The sunflower has lighter 
    shaded areas that would suggest nipples, but, hey...  It's just a 
    sunflower...
    
    And there are absolutely no instances at all where a drunk cow is forced 
    to play pinochle, thank you...
    
    Well, all that serious stuff aside, let's have some fun! ^_^
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    3. Menus
    
    ---
    
    Main Menu
    
    The main menu looks suspiciously like Conker's favorite pub: The Cock
    and Plucker.  You can view your choices by pressing left or right on the
    Control Stick.
    
    Game 1, Game 2, Game 3: These opened up your saved game files.  Games
    are automatically saved at convenient places.  Once selected, you'll
    have the option to Play or Erase.
    
    Multi: Enters the storage room in the back of the pub, where you can
    access the Multiplayer Menu.
    
    Chapters: Enters the cloak room of the pub, where you can access any
    section of any chapter you have already completed.  Nice for replaying
    your favorite scenes...  To switch chapters, just press left or right
    on the Stick.
    
    Options: Allows you to adjust the Sound (Stereo, Mono, Dolby Surround
    Sound) or talk to the Fire Imp about Cheats (Type in naughty words to
    get a reaction).
    
    ---
    
    Multiplayer Menu:
    
    You can choose from one of the seven games (from left to right): Beach,
    Raptor, Heist, Deathmatch, War, Tank, or Race.  The multiplayer options
    are further explained in the Multiplayer section.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    4. Level Walkthroughs
    
    Since the developers were nice enough to divide the game into chapters,
    I figure I'd do the honor of dividing my walkthroughs up as such...
    
    Well, enjoy the cinematic opening...  Fans of A Clockwork Orange should
    pick up the parody immediately.  Long story short, Conker stumbles out
    into the rain after a rough night of hittin' the pub.  He wakes up, and
    has no clue as to where he is.  We also learn about the Panther King,
    who has a problem with the milk on his table...
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    A. Hungover
    
    This is your intro level.  You'll learn basic manuevers here.  Use them
    well, and enjoy your temporary invincibility...
    
    ---
    
    Scaredy Birdy
    
    Control over Conker at this point is sluggish at best, him being
    hungover and all...  Steer him as best as you can around the back side
    of the fenced enclosure before you.  You'll have a little chit-chat
    with Birdy the Scarecrow.  He'll tell you to go to the other side of
    him.  Do so, walking onto the podium, and he'll (to the best of his
    drunken ability) explain "context-sensitive" buttons to ya, whereby you
    press B and stuff happens...
    
    So, press B, like he says, and you'll hand him a bottle of brew, which
    he'll greatfully accept, and he'll point you towards the other one you
    just walked by.  Head towards the other one, or you can press B on the
    same one again, where you'll give him a tank of helium (?) and another
    bottle of ale.
    
    Anyway, step on the other B Pad, and Conker will pop some Alka-Seltzer
    for ya.  In this crazy world, it sobers you right up.  Remember that...
    
    Conker will then explain context-sensitive a bit more clearly and you'll
    be sobered up and on your way!  NOTE: You can only use B Pads when the
    lightbulb appears above Conker's head...
    
    ---
    
    Pan-Handled
    
    Thankfully, you're now in full, standard control of Conker:
    
    Stick: Run
    A: Jump
    B: Swing
    Z: Crouch
    L: Skip Cutscene (Must have watched it once)
    R: Hold to look around with Stick
    Up C: Shift camera from close to long
    Down C: Centers camera behind Conker
    Left/Right C: Rotate Camera in that direction.
    START: Pause the game.  You can do this at just about any time (even
      during cutscenes)
    
    (You actually have all this from the get-go, but jumping etc. doesn't
    really work when hammered)
    
    So, hop in the water and swim to the island near the edge of the
    waterfall.  Don't worry about falling off, you'll land safely at the
    bottom.  Note the wad of bills behind the grating.  Don't worry about it
    though, you'll get it MUCH later...  You can swim into the cave at the
    end, and you'll reappear at the top next to Beard... eh, Birdy...
    
    Once you reach the island, Conker will remember his High Jump and his
    Helicoptery Tail Thing:
    
    Hold Z, then press A: High Jump
    Jump, then press and hold A in midair: Helicoptery Tail Thing
    
    So, it's your mission to jump and hover clockwise around the wall of
    this open area.  Good place to practice, really.  Ignore the door as
    you pass it, and continue jumping until you reach the bridge at the
    top.  There's a gargoyle sitting in the middle.  Have a chat if you
    wish.  Don't try to push or hit him, though, as he'll grab you and toss
    you down the falls (Again, you won't get hurt).  Note the lever just in
    front of the bridge, however.  High Jump up and you'll automatically
    grab it.
    
    Will wonders never cease; it opens the door you passed!  Hop down the
    way you came to the door.  Once you enter, it'll slam shut behind you
    and lock.  Fortunately, the key is right in front of you (so, why did
    we enter again?)  Oddly enough, this key seems quite active, and afraid
    of you.  Chase the key and Conker will remember he had something.
    Press B...
    
    B: Swing Frying Pan
    
    Oh, a frying pan!  Of course!  I can see how he forgot that...
    
    Anyway, dash towards the key, and bash him with the utensil, and it'll
    collapse on the ground.  Walk towards it, and you'll automatically pick
    it up.  Walk towards the door, and you're free!
    
    ---
    
    Gargoyle
    
    Now, how 'bout that lump of stone blocking the way?  Make your way up
    to our friend here (you'll chat with him if you haven't already).  Get
    close and quickly whap him with the pan.  He'll be amused at your
    attempts to uproot him.  He'll be so amused that he'll lose his footing
    and land hard at the bottom of the falls.  Whatever...
    
    D'oh!  The tremor of the impact jarred loose a boulder, and you've got
    ANOTHER lump of stone blocking your way!  Look off to the right of the
    boulder, and you'll notice a wooden platform.  High Jump onto the rock,
    and take a running leap over to the platform.  Convenient place for a
    B Pad...
    
    Bada-BOOM!  No more rock...  Proceed through the passageway, and you'll
    be treated to a cutscene over at Panther King land, and you'll learn
    the reason why Conker will become such a wanted man in the future...
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    B. Windy
    
    This is technically the main hub area for the game.  You'll be
    returning here many times, and not everything can be done in one trip
    here, so it's all split up.  I'll be making separate sections for each
    of the three big trips to Windy.
    
    NOTE: In the last cutscene, you learned about Anti-Gravity Chocolate.
    This is the stuff your life bar's made of.  You have a maximum of six
    available.
    
    NOTE: If, at any time, you run out of chocolate (health), you'll visit
    Gregg, the Grim Reaper (don't laugh).  He'll explain (rather
    begrudgingly) that Tails are your lives.  Once you grab the Tail, you'll
    return to life.  Tails will then appear around the world in certain
    locations.  For instance, there'll be one right on the signpost in this
    area.
    
    ---
    
    Mrs. Bee
    
    Walk down the slope, picking up the chocolate, and head in the direction
    of "Nice".  You'll meet up with Mrs. Bee who'll lament to you about the
    loss of her hive.  Natch, it's your duty to get it back.  Head back to
    the signpost, and go towards "Nasty".  Walk up to big honeycombed area
    and pick up the hive in front of it.  Once you do, three nasty wasps 
    (Wayne and the Wankas Gang) will pop out and try to sting yer tail...  
    Hightail it out of there as fast as possible.  Don't get hit, or you'll 
    drop the hive, and you'll have to start over.  Fortunately, if you run 
    at top speed, the stingers will just miss you.  So, run like heck, and 
    watch out when you get to the area with a green circle surrounded by a 
    yellow circle.  That yellow ground is sticky honey and will slow you 
    down, so run around it, all the way down, past the signpost, and back 
    to Mrs. Bee.  She'll be so pleased, she'll give you a reward of 100 
    smackers.
    
    Now, cross the bridge, and walk up to the B pad area.  Some dung
    beetles will notice you, but they won't attack unless you get close, so
    don't get close.  Walk onto the B Pad, and charming old Birdy will give
    you info about the "manual".  He wants money for it, so that's why you
    did the little favor for Mrs. Bee.  Cough up the change, and he'll
    cough up the manual (note the Full Metal Jacket reference).  Your cash
    is very loyal, so it'll hop out of Birdy's pocket and right back to
    you.  Fair enough.
    
    Now, step on the B Pad, and you'll learn about the catapult (slingshot
    here in the States):
    
    Stick: Aim
    Z: Fire
    B: Exit
    
    Simple enough.  Now, time to take care of those dung beetles who have
    some kind of thing against you.  Hit one with the slingshot and it'll
    fly up to charge and attack.  Hit it again to turn it into a gooey
    mess.  Do this for all four and you'll be able to proceed.  A door will
    open up in the odd wheat-like structure.
    
    You can explore the rest of this area, if you wish, but you can't do
    anything.  You can go to the poo area, and you'll find a cabin that
    says "Back at 10".  No can do there...  Past it, you'll notice a ladder
    leading up to a hole.  Entering it will take you to a rickety bridge,
    across which lies the Feral Reserve Bank...  Attempting to cross it will
    leave you down in the mud, so you're not going that way, either.  Only
    way to go is through the entrance opened up when you beat the dung
    beetles.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    Barn Boys
    
    This area is full of nice little farm-related surprises, and some that
    are not-quite-so farm related...
    
    ---
    
    Marvin
    
    Head to the right of the barn in front of you, and you'll run across a
    very stinky mouse (so stinky, that Conker has trouble keeping his
    lunch down) and a metal block with a bigger one on his back.  The block
    wants you to get rid of the rat.  To do this, head around the left side
    of the barn, up the slope, timing your movements so you avoid the
    blocks trying to crush you, and run up to the block in front of the
    fence, who'll introduce himself as Burt.  You'll tell him Jack sent
    you, and he'll open the fence leading to the cheese bouncing around.
    
    To grab the cheese, hit one with your frying pan and run into it.  Run
    back to the mouse, and he'll happily eat the cheese.  Do this twice
    more, and Marvin the mouse will get a REALLY bad case of gas...
    
    BIG TIP!  Start jumping around on the walls behind the cheese enclosure.
    When you have some good height above the wall that has the least height,
    you'll see the "bulb".  Press B, and you'll anvil smash the rock.
    Sitting there will be a tail.  Pick it up, and you'll have an extra TEN
    tails to your name!  Pretty sweet.
    
    Now that the big block's off Jack, hop up onto the blocks, then onto
    the pipe lining the barn, then onto the roof.  Snag the wad of cash
    sitting up there, and Conker will note that it's ten o' clock.  You can
    go back and go inside the cabin in Poo Land, but, since I'm trying to
    keep everything together here, we'll finish this area...
    
    ---
    
    Mad Pitchfork
    
    While on top of the barn, step on the big button, and you'll open the
    main door.  Hop down carefully, and enter.  You'll find a bunch of
    haystacks hopping around, and at the far end are Franky the Pitchfork, 
    Reg the Brush, and Ron the Paint Pot.  Ron will mention it's the 
    Franky's turn to do the butt-kicking, so trot on over there and oblige 
    him.
    
    Franky the Fork will start chasing you around, and when he gets close,
    he'll go for a dashing poke attack.  The way to win this fight is to
    lead him near the haystacks, and get behind them.  When he sticks the
    stacks, they blow.  Once you've busted up all the stacks, he'll give
    up, and decide, since he's no good at butt-kicking that he'll kill
    himself.  Unfortunately, he has no neck, so hanging himself has just
    put him in a position in which he can't move...  D'oh...
    
    Anyhoo, there's a lever on the wall opposite the door.  Pull on it, and
    the King Bee will tumble out from his perch high above outside.  Push
    on the main door, and go outside.
    
    ---
    
    Sunny Days
    
    The King Bee will be sitting outside.  Talk to him, and he'll mention
    the sunflower, and how he wants to "pollinate" her...  Uh...huh...
    
    So, have a chat with her, and you'll learn that she's ticklish...  Go
    back to the wooden platform near the King Bee, and you'll see a small
    swarm of Tickly Bees (just what you needed).  They'll follow you to her,
    where they'll stay while she giggles.
    
    So, that's one, and now you need to find four more swarms and bring them
    to her.  Here are the locations of all five:
    
    1: Wooden platform near the King
    2: Near the entrance to this area.
    3: Roof with the switch to open the barn.
    4: On the walls behind the cheese enclosure.
    5: Up high in the big bucket.  Climb onto the roof, then High Jump to
    the top of the thatch, then climb the rest of the way up.
    
    You can grab them all in a bunch.  They'll follow you slowly.
    
    Once all five are there, her magnificent stigmas will be exposed in all
    their glory (Calm yourselves, gents...)  Conker's expression during
    this cutscene is priceless, really...  Now, the sunflower will ask you
    if you fancy a bounce.  Yes, you do...
    
    High Jump onto her stigmas, and you'll be launched into the air, near
    an opening that has a wad of sponduli (money).  You need to launch high,
    though, and it's rather tough to do.  You need to press A just before
    you launch.  If you flip in the air, you're doing it wrong.  You need
    to launch straight up so you can hover over to the opening and snag the
    money.
    
    ---
    
    Barry + Co
    
    All right.  Now, High Jump onto the wooden crate bouncing around the
    wooden platform, and enter the barn.  Some bats hanging in the rafters
    will notice you.  Once you cross the thin beams, they'll try to swoop
    down and attack you.  Note that while you're on the beams, you'll get a
    lightbulb.  Wait until you hear the bat squeak, then press B.  Conker
    will whip out his trusty flamethrower and torch the offending rodent.
    Heh...
    
    Continue along the beams torching bats, and hit the B Pad.  Conker will
    pull out his ginsu knives (aren't cartoons great?) and you can throw
    them at Franky.  Aim for the rope he's hanging from, and throw five 
    knives at him.  After the fifth one, you'll sever the rope, dropping 
    him to the ground.
    
    ---
    
    Buff You
    
    Drop to the ground, yourself, and you'll talk to Franky.  He'll offer
    you a ride:
    
    A: Jump
    B: Stab
    
    Head for Mr. Big Haystack with Arms.  Stab him, while trying to avoid
    his slaps, and he'll catch fire.  Stab him again, and he'll partially
    burn away, revealing a Terminator-like eye.  Stab him once more, and
    he'll bust up the floor, tumbling the three of you down into the
    basement.
    
    ---
    
    Haybot Wars
    
    It's time for a match with the nasty Haybot.  Conker's at a bit of a
    disadvantage, since he hurt his leg in the fall, so you can be the most
    mobile on Franky.
    
    The Haybot first attacks by launching Suzie 9mm missiles when you're far
    away, and slaps you when you're near.  If you're in range of either of
    these attacks, jump to avoid them.  Run behind one of the three pipes
    surrounding the area and the missiles will bust it open.  Haybot will
    then chase after you.  Lure him into the water gushing from the pipe,
    and he'll be electrocuted by the wires, causing him to spin around
    slowly...
    
    Note the button on his back that says "Do Not Push".  Hmm...  Hop up
    next to him, jump towards his back, and you'll get the "bulb".  Press B,
    and Conker will jam the button down, blowing his arm.
    
    You need to do this twice more, with the two other pipes in the area.
    Once you jam the button down for the third time, Haybot will be scrap
    metal.
    
    ---
    
    Frying Tonight
    
    Don't start celebrating yet.  You've got to get out of here, and the
    water level's rising, getting really close to those hanging wires...
    
    Swim over to the big pipe with the Exit signs.  Climb up the ladder,
    and hurry to the B Pad.  You'll pull out your knives again.  Hurl them
    at the wires nearest you.  If you face towards the center of the
    basement, there's one above and to the left, one behind and below you,
    partially submerged in the water, and a third to your right and above
    you.  Slice all three of these at the contact point to the pipes and
    they'll drop off.  Swim across to the next ladder, and climb it.  At
    the top, you'll do it again, although this time the three wires you
    have to hit are further away.  One to your left, one's across the
    center, and the third's above and to the right.  Once all three of those
    wires are gone.  The water will rise up to its top height.  You'll have
    an opening you can climb out.
    
    Once through the opening, you'll notice a little guy with a tablet
    (remember him from the beginning?)  Step on his tablet and he'll fling
    you up.  Land on the upper platform, and grab the money there.  Phew...
    
    ---
    
    Slam Dunk
    
    All right.  You're on the top of the barn now.  Climb the ladder next to
    you and scale to dizzying heights.  Be careful of the wasp patrolling
    the ladder.  Timing is everything here.  Move past him just as he goes
    past the ladder.  Keep climbing, dodging the wasps, until you reach the
    top.  You'll notice a chocolate at the end of the board, and another in
    thin air.  Jump out to the chocolate in thin air, and the "bulb" will
    pop up.  Quickly hit B and you'll turn into an anvil, and super slam
    all the way down to the bottom of the bucket.  Hitting the button at the
    bottom of the bucket will open the grating down in the little stream
    area.  Inside, you'll find a tail and some more money.  You should have
    $500 at this point.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    Windy, Part II
    
    You'll be doing a lot more here, now.  This time around, you'll enter an
    all-new part of Windy that could be seen as part of Barn Boys, what with
    the cows...
    
    ---
    
    Poo Cabin
    
    Run back to Windy, then head to the cabin in the pooey area.  You'll see
    a cutscene where you'll get an idea on the relative intelligence of the
    Panther King and his lackeys...
    
    Anyway, you'll enter the cabin, and Conker will speak to a dung beetle,
    who'll tell him that he'll make him a ball of poo if he fills up the
    hole beneath the nearby trapdoor with poo, using cows....
    
    Folks, now I suggest you not continue if you've eaten in the last
    hour or so... ~_^
    
    So, hop onto the trapdoor and press B to anvil smash it.  You'll hear
    the cry of money, but you can't do anything about it now, so just ignore
    it.
    
    Anyway, you'll be in a big cylindrical pit here...  (If you fall,
    you'll return to the cabin)  Jump on the ropes and use them to climb
    up to an opening in the wall with poo flowing out of it.  Run up the
    slope and you'll soon come to an opening which will lead you to an
    outside area.
    
    ---
    
    Pruned
    
    Actually, this "verse", if you will, is pretty short.  You'll meet up
    with a bull here (you had to be a RED squirrel, didn't you?)  If you
    enter his little arena, he'll try to charge you.  Avoid him for now,
    and head off to the left where there's a shack structure labelled
    "Prune Juice".
    
    The climb to the top of the structure can get a bit dicey, because
    there are balls of poo rolling down the slopes.  Just try to avoid them
    the best you can scale the top to the faucet.  Run clockwise around the
    spigot to open it, and dump prune juice into the trough below.
    
    If you didn't know, prune juice is a good natural laxative...
    
    So, a target just popped up, and there's a bull several feet from it.
    Getting the picture yet?
    
    ---
    
    Yee Haa!
    
    All right.  Time to find out what this bull's good for...  First, get
    him to chase you (not a hard thing to do).  If he's just about to ram
    you and there's no way you can use that ram, just jump straight up into
    the air, and he should miss you.
    
    Anyway, stand in front of the target, and jump at the last second.  The
    bull will smash into the target, and a door will pop open, revealing a
    cow.  The cow will start muching on the grass.  She needs a little
    help from you.
    
    Here's where things get interesting.  Another target has appeared, but
    this one's part of a wall.  Lead the bull here, and he'll get stuck,
    monetarily.  Run up to him, and you'll hop on his back.  He's VERY
    unwieldy:
    
    Stick: Move around (it's rather tough to get him where you want to go,
    though)
    B: Charge (Don't miss, or he'll toss you and you'll lose health)
    
    So, line yourself up in front of the cow and press B.  He'll charge into
    her, and she'll walk over to the prune juice.  I think you can guess
    what happens here... (Ugh...)
    
    Anyway, you need more cows, so the first order of business is to move
    this one out of the way.  Charge into her again, and she'll be moved
    out of the way, rather messily...
    
    Now, the whole thing will have to be repeated twice more with the
    target hitting, the bull riding, and the hitting of cows.  The only
    difference is that now the cows require more than one hit to get them
    to the prune juice.  The second requires two, and the third requires
    three.
    
    Once you've splattered all three cows, you'll get tossed clear, and the
    bull will be left standing on the grate, which, unfortunately, can't
    support his weight...  Down he goes...
    
    And down you should go after him...
    
    ---
    
    Sewage Sucks
    
    Hold your nose folks...  We're going for a swim...
    
    Drop into the hole and you'll land in the "brown water".  Swim over to
    the tail, then to the opening in the wall.  In this area, there'll be a
    B Pad just onshore.  Hop onto it, and Conker will take his "Confidence
    Pill".  He'll get rid of his cute, little floaties at this point, and
    you'll be able to swim underwater:
    
    B (in water): Dive
    Stick (underwater): Steer
    B (underwater): Swim
    
    Note Conker's face as you dive underwater, as his cheeks get bigger, and
    his eyes bulge, he'll have less and less air.  When he's reached maximum
    bulgage, you'll start losing health.  Restore your air by going to the
    surface, or finding air bubbles in certain places.
    
    Anyway, return to the first area and swim down.  Find the opening, and
    swim to the surface, where you'll be able to collect some money.  Dive
    down again, and swim the remainder of the way back, into the cabin.
    Exit the cabin, and it's time for some poo-rollin'...
    
    ---
    
    Great Balls of Poo
    
    Okay...  Using these balls of poo, you can open up two new areas.  In
    this walkthrough, we'll open both of them up right now for simplicity
    sake.
    
    Okay.  Get behind the ball, and push it around.  Get the feel for how
    pushing something is.  Run the ball up the slope to the right of the
    cabin (if you're facing the door) and roll it up the side of Poo Hill.
    Note the beetles along the way.  They won't actively attack you, but
    will hurt you if you get too close, and they can also push your ball of
    poo as they move.  Wait until they pop inside their little holes in the
    wall, and keep moving.  Soon, you'll be above a really big dung beetle.
    Conker will add a stick of TNT to the ball, and push it over the edge.
    The dung beetle swallows it, and the rest is history.  Don't worry if
    you fall through all this.  If you land on the hill, you'll land safely
    (head-first) in the poo...
    
    Now, take the next ball of poo, and roll it up the slope next to the
    barricaded door.  Using the same methods of avoiding the beetles, roll
    it all the way to the hole at the top.  You're too small to fit in the
    hole, but the poo ball will roll down and burst out the barricaded door,
    opening the way to the chapter "Sloprano".  You can go there now, or
    just finish here.  While you're up here, High Jump to the top of the
    mountain and pick up the cash there.
    
    You can also take this time to pick up another wad of cash.  Head over
    to the wasp's nest, and High Jump to the opening in the nest, on the
    left, you'll reappear on the right side, and you can jump again to the
    opening at the top.  Go in there, and you'll snag some more dough.
    
    Take the third ball of poo, and roll it down past the ladder that leads
    to the Feral Reserve Bank.  Note the sign that says "No Pooballs!"
    Sounds like an invitation to me...  Roll it off the edge, and you'll
    hit one of the armored guards down there.  Hop down next to him, and
    you'll see a button.  Press B when you step on it, and you'll anvil
    smash it, opening the plug, and the two armored guards swimming around
    inside will be sucked down the vortex.  Now, the pool never drains, but
    you have to stay clear of the vortex, or it'll cost you a life.  Now,
    just swim through the door on the far end of the pool, and you'll enter
    a new chapter...
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    E. Bats Tower
    
    This area's rather varied.  It's a mix of water and fire.  You have to
    be a fast runner, a fast swimmer, and have good aim (for more things
    than one).
    
    ---
    
    Mrs. Catfish
    
    Enter the area and you'll be immediately greeted by several lady
    catfish, who sound a lot like stuffy old British dowagers.  They'll
    offer you some change if you help them with the problem of the Bullfish
    near their safe at the end of the river.
    
    Swim downstream, and under a waterfall, there's a small cave where you
    can pick up some chocolate and a tail.  Swim further down near the safe,
    and you'll see the Bullfish snapping from his chain.  Look below you,
    and you'll see a hole at the bottom of the pool.  Swim into it, and
    you'll be taken to a new area.
    
    ---
    
    Barry's Mate
    
    Remember Barry?  He's the bat you torched back in the barn.  His friends
    are in this area to make your life miserable (or more enjoyable if you
    have a thing for torching bats).
    
    Anyway, swim to the surface of this area, and waltz over to the guys on
    the wall.  The rather rude cog (or amicable, whatever side of his is on
    top) will tell you to get his other cogs.  You'll do that in a moment,
    but first, you need to open the gateway there.  To do that, step on the
    nearby platform with ropes attached to ride up to the next level of the
    tower.  There'll be a series of thin rafters (for balancing acts) and
    climbing ropes on your way up the tower.  There's a bat for every
    rafter, so remember to listen for the squeaks and fire up your torch
    by pressing B.
    
    Once you reach the top of the tower, you'll see a platform sticking out
    towards the other side.  The lever's over there.  Before you go for it,
    you may have heard the shouts of money nearby.  Hop onto the wall of the
    tower, then float across from high stone to high stone clockwise around
    the wall.  Do this to avoid the armored guards in the area.  Once you
    snag the cash, fly clockwise to get back to your starting spot.  Drop
    back down to the platform, then leap out and grab the lever.  A grate
    way down back in the water will open.
    
    ---
    
    Cogs' Revenge
    
    Make your way down to the bottom of the tower, jump into the water, and
    swim into the previously grated area.  Avoid the swimming armored guards
    (they won't actively chase you) and swim to the surface, where you'll
    find a female cog running around.  Whack it with your pan and grab it,
    and return the same way to the mean cog.  Walk up the steps to put the
    cog on the peg.  Parents...  This may be a good time to put the kids to
    bed...
    
    Anyway, head back in the water, and go back to the area where you found
    the female cog.  You'll see a pipe leading into a new area.  This place
    has two female cogs bouncing around.  They're not that easy to catch,
    because they're faster than you and run when they see you.  Best way to
    get them is to keep jumping and swing the pan as soon as you land next
    to them.  It's tough, but not impossible.
    
    Return the two cogs individually to their spots, and run clockwise on
    the circular platform in the center.  You have to get up some good speed
    to get going.  Once you've finished, the Bullfish's chain will be much
    shorter, effectively removing the threat.  Also, the nasty cog will get
    what he deserves, although the "charming" side of him rather enjoys
    it...
    
    ---
    
    The Combination
    
    A relatively short stanza.  Head back out to the main area, and to where
    the catfishes are waiting.  They'll ask you to lead them to the safe.
    Note that as you speak, the two armored guards from the tunnel come out.
    Now is the point where they'll actively give chase...  As they get
    close, just hop into the air and hover further upstream to the safe.
    Once you get there, the catfish in charge will open up the safe, and you
    can just hop right in.
    
    ---
    
    Blast Doors
    
    Well, apparently this money doesn't want to live in your pocket.  He
    hops out and steals down the shaft in the middle, and the doors slam
    shut behind him.  Your mission now, should you choose to accept it, is
    to open that hatch, using naught but your trusty slingshot.  How?
    Simple.  On the far wall, opposite the B Pad, is a rotating wheel that
    exposes letters as it rotates.  All you have to do is spell "OPEN" and
    voila!
    
    Hey!  I said it was simple!  I didn't say it was easy!
    
    Honestly, getting the accuracy down on the slingshot is tough, and to
    make matters worse, everytime you miss three times, or hit a wrong
    letter, one of the armored guards nearby jumps up and rushes you.  You
    have to wing him to knock him back so you can try again without taking
    damage.
    
    So, spell OPEN, and hop in.  On the B Pad down here, you'll whip on a
    miner's helmet, and snap in a battery.  Good for seeing down there...
    
    ---
    
    Clang's Lair
    
    This area's not easy...  Largely, it's because Conker's not a fast
    swimmer, so you'll spend a while getting mad at Conker for not getting
    to air fast enough...
    
    Anyway, you can think of this area has four big vertical pipes.  One is
    in the center, and three are around it like a triangle.  Each of the
    outer pipes is connected to the center one by two small pipes.
    
    The pipes are guarded by guys called Clangs.  A Clang is basically a
    submerged metal eyeball that bites you if you get close.  There's one
    in the entrance pipe, one in each of the connecting pipes, and one in
    the exit pipe.
    
    Now, the purpose of the miner's helmet is to blind the Clangs.  It's not
    all that necessary, nor is it terribly useful, though, and the battery
    doesn't last long at all.
    
    Okay, you're in the entrance pipe.  Make your way down, ducking into
    side chambers with air bubbles if Clang gets close.  Heck, duck into
    side chambers anyway to replenish your air.  If Conker starts turning
    blue, you're in trouble.  Once at the bottom, watch the Clang patrolling
    the connecting pipes (flashing green).  Follow the Clang into the one
    he goes into, not the one he comes out of, to be safest.  You'll reach
    the center pipe.  Swim up and grab some air.  You can also snap in a new
    battery if you wish for your headlamp.
    
    Dive back down and head to the blue flashing pipes, again watching for
    the Clang.  Swim through, then surface as soon as possible, and grab the
    lever in this area.  Swim back to the main pipe, then swim to the pipes
    with yellow flashing lights.  You'll be in the exit pipe, which is
    similar to the entrance pipe, in that there is a Clang patrolling it,
    and there are side chambers with air all along the way.  Use those
    air chambers, and surface.  In this new area, drop down the hole in the
    floor.
    
    ---
    
    Pisstastic
    
    Sounds good from the title, eh?
    
    When you enter this place, you'll find two Fire Imps stoned out of their
    skulls.  They'll notice you, and notice that you're flammable.  That
    could spell trouble.  If you get near the boiler (where they hide)
    they'll pop out and attack you.
    
    Since they're made of fire, you'll need some kind of water-like
    substance to put it out, but you can't use the beer in the keg, 'cause
    it's alcohol...  Wonder what you can use, hmm?
    
    Aw, who'm I kidding?  You know it.  I know it.  You gotta pee on 'em.
    
    Okay.  The way to do this is to head to the keg and press B to load up.
    Conker will be a little tipsy after consuming so much, so he'll be a
    little tougher to control.  Anyway, pick a spot that feels good to you
    (I suggest near that first aid kit to the left of the keg area) and
    press B to start the fun!
    
    Stick: Aim
    B: Unzip/Zip Up
    Z: Extend Stream
    
    I love the music when he lets loose.  Anyway, the stream's not that hard
    to control.  Just hold Z the whole time and you'll have a nice big
    stream to play with.  To put out a Fire Imp, you'll have to hit it with
    a pretty constant stream.  There are four in play at once, and every
    time you put out one, another appears.  You need to douse eight Fire
    Imps before you can continue.
    
    If, by the way, you run out of "juice", you'll be hungover (Conker will
    stop every several seconds to let out a technicolor yawn) and you'll
    have to make your way over to the first aid kit, where you'll pop some
    Alka-Seltzer, and he'll be as good as new.
    
    ---
    
    Brass Monkeys
    
    Just when you thought this scene couldn't get more tasteless...
    
    The Fire Imps will realize they can't beat you, so they hop in the
    Boiler to let him take over.  They push a special button, and SPROING...
    
    Brass balls...
    
    Don't try to rationalize...  Just fight...
    
    Well, the object here is to lure the Boiler into one of the four
    corners.  Once he's there (under a drain), High Jump to the chain above
    your head.  You'll dump a ton of poo on him, and he'll stagger back and
    wobble back and forth, exposing his batch.  Run up to him and press B.
    
    Now, I gotta give props to Rare for this.  They could have just stuck
    with the frying pan.  No no no...  They have high standards...  Instead
    of using the pan, Conker takes out two big bricks and slams them
    together...  Ow...
    
    So, all you have to do is do the same thing for each of the four
    corners (lure to the drain, poo dump, brick smash).  Eventually, you'll
    knock the balls off, putting the Boiler out of commission.  Go you!
    
    So, there are still Fire Imps in the area, and you can't douse them,
    just avoid them.  You have to push the brass balls around now.  One
    has to go on a little depression near a door opposite the first aid
    kit, and the other gets rolled down the slope that's behind the door to
    take out the armored guard behind.
    
    Finally, you're back in the safe.  Grab the cash and step outside.
    
    ---
    
    Bullfish's Revenge
    
    Yep...  You did all this for a measly ten bucks...
    
    Anyway, naturally the Bullfish is a little irked about all this, and
    he's starting to break his chain.  That's bad news.  Make a break for
    it, and he'll snap the chain and give chase.  Lure him near the catfish
    and he'll tear into them, buying you a few seconds to get moving.  Don't
    swim here, just keep jumping in the water.  You'll move faster.
    
    Anyway, swim to the dock, and you'll do a nice little Jaws-style finale,
    which ends with the Bullfish slamming into the wall.  You can now hop
    on him and into the alcove above to pick up your real reward for all
    this: 300 smackers!
    
    Now, it's time to return to Poo Mountain, and enter the formerly
    barricaded door at it's base.  If it's still barricaded (we did this
    earlier in the walkthrough), roll balls of poo up the side of Poo
    Mountain; one up the slope to the right of the cabin, and the other up
    the slope by the barricade.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    F. Sloprano
    
    For once, I think I'll let this chapter speak for itself.  Just try not
    to be eating...
    
    ---
    
    Corn Off the Cob
    
    Try to imagine it as mud, 'kay?  Whatever's in that mess wants sweet
    corn.  On the first circle path, you'll find a kernel, and periodically
    a hand will pop up.  Don't be around when the hand is.  Smack the corn
    with your pan, pick it up, and trot it over to the path sticking out
    into the center of the chamber.  You'll toss it in.
    
    If, at any time, you fall into the lower muck, you can make it out,
    just keep jumping, and aiming for relatively solid land.
    
    Proceed around the path.  You'll need to make a running jump to cross
    the gap.  Watch out for shadows that appear on the path.  That's the
    signal for globs to drop from the ceiling, which hurt.  At the next
    circle path, there are two kernels.  Toss them in to the center one at
    a time.  Proceed down the path, avoiding drops to the third circle
    path, where there are three kernels.  Toss them in, avoiding the hand,
    and prepare for the musical number.
    
    ---
    
    Sweet Melody
    
    Like the guy said, he's the Great Mightypoo.  What more is there to say?
    
    Well, he'll be picking off pieces of himself to fling at you.  I haven't
    quite figured out a pattern to it, yet.  He sometimes leads you (throws
    it where you'll end up), and he sometimes throws at your exact spot.
    Just do your best to avoid the tosses.  You can now use the B Pads
    strewn about in the area.  Using one will pull out the solution to this
    great mighty problem: toilet paper!  Press Z to throw...
    
    The only time you can hit him, though, is when he opens his mouth to
    sing a few notes...  This requires you to listen to the music a bit and
    figure out when he'll come in.  If you watch him, he'll rock back and
    forth to the music.  That means he's about to hit his notes.  That's
    when you toss the Charmin in...
    
    Just like your other battles, this is a lather, rinse, repeat.  Once you
    hit him once with the paper, he'll cover up the B Pad you were using and
    you'll have to move to the next location where you'll have to hit him
    twice and you'll have a smaller window to toss the paper in.  Then to
    the final B Pad where you have to hit him thrice, and you'll have an
    even smaller window to toss.  Good luck to you...
    
    ---
    
    U-Bend Blues
    
    Once you've hit him with the last toilet paper roll, he'll hit a high
    and complex note that'll shatter the glass on the wall between the
    second and third circle paths.  Run your tail over there and yank the
    chain.  Fluuuushh...  Oh, what a world...
    
    Phew...  Snag the cash, and let's get out of this place.  Head to the
    big hole in the center and out the exit at the bottom.  Don't fall out
    the bottom.  You won't get hurt, but you'll end up in the Poo Cabin and
    have to come back here and try to reach the doorway again.
    
    You'll see a cutscene here, where poor Berri gets kidnapped by a rock
    thing...  Shyeah, like she's had it half as bad as Conker has...
    
    In this area, you'll have to do some more swimming, and, to complicate
    matters, you've got three spinning blades to contend with.  The first
    one's not that hard to get through, the second one's a bit of a
    challenge, and the last is nuts.  You're gonna have to rely on some good
    timing to get through here...
    
    Once you make it through the fans, climb up and out, and you'll have
    to make a bit of a dash around this vertical pipe, to avoid the small
    blades poking out the sides.  Run for the ladder and climb up.
    
    ---
    
    The Bluff
    
    Now, you'll see across the path the weasel guards for the Panther King.
    They'll need $1000 before they'll let you cross.  If you've followed
    my walkthrough up to this point, you should have more than enough.  If
    not, just go back and hunt through for it.  I'll have a Money List up
    here eventually...
    
    Okay, in this new, lava-filled area, you'll be standing in front of a
    three-tiered stone structure.  Around the first and second tiers are
    little red raptor guys running around.  Stepping in front of them will
    ensure getting chomped on, so I suggest you avoid them.  You can jump
    over them and odds are you'll be fine, though.
    
    Make your way to the other side of the first tier of the structure, and
    enter a little doorway inside that'll take you to the second tier.  Work
    your way around the opposite side of that tier, and you'll end up on the
    top tier, where you'll see, in addition to a wad of cash (grab it, duh),
    you'll see an odd face-like statue.  Hop on top of the structure and
    anvil smash it down three times to enter the next chapter.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    G. Uga Buga
    
    This chapter is the classic dino-themed world with cavemen, rock
    monsters, and a weasel mob boss running the show.  Y'know, the kind of
    dino-themed world in every game...
    
    ---
    
    Drunken Gits
    
    The aforementioned "gits" (pronounced "gits") are the rock monsters
    lying around outside the Rock Solid club.  Getting within sight of them
    will cause them to get all surly at you and try to pound you.  Don't
    bother trying to get past the bouncer, yet.  Note the rock guy by the
    entranced who's curled up unconscious...
    
    First thing to do is pound on the statue one more time.  This will open
    a passageway underneath it, effectively connecting caveman territory and
    rock guy territory.  Run over to the unconscious rock monster and start
    pushing.  Push him through the hole under the statue, further down the
    slope and you'll have an opening to the inner area of Caveman Land...
    
    Once you enter, Conker will ask for a music change (the lovable scamp),
    and you'll enjoy a nice upbeat track as you search this place.
    
    Okay.  Here's the basic layout.  You're on a slope in front of Big
    Dino Idol Guy.  There's a platform in front of the idol.  That platform
    is covered by a lid suspended by a rope.  Behind the platform is a B
    Pad that allows you to pull out your slingshot.  On the wall to your
    left and right are two big buttons that can be hit with your slingshot.
    The one on the right raises the lid, the one on the left smashes it
    down.  There are four cavemen worshipping in front of the idol.  If you
    get close, they'll attack, but you'll be fine on the B Pad.
    
    To the left and right of the Idol's neck on the back wall are doors.
    The one on the right is the only one you can go through, so do so.
    
    ---
    
    Sacrifice
    
    This new area has a big and rather obvious egg in the center.  There's
    also a rather obvious monk near it with a tablet.  Hop on his tablet
    and catapult yourself to the top of the egg.  Press B on top of it, and
    Conker will make like a Breegull and try to hatch it.
    
    Congratulations, Conker.  You're a mom...
    
    This little baby dino will follow you just about anywhere, but you have
    to keep rather close, 'cause his eyesight's not that great.  If he gets
    near a caveman, he'll eagerly chomp him up, so you've got that going for
    ya...
    
    Anyway, you can't go back the way you came in, so lead the dino around
    the outside path (move slowly, it's pretty thin) and you'll reach
    another door.  This is the door you couldn't enter from the first area.
    Enter it, and sure enough, you'll be back in the Idol area.  Lead the
    little guy to the center, hop on the B Pad, and pull out your slingshot.
    Using the button on the wall to the right of the main entrance, raise
    the lid on the platform.  Note the dino prints on the platform.  Once
    your dino has filled sufficiently on the nearby cavemen, lead him onto
    the platform and quickly run back to the B Pad (before more cavemen
    appear and he wanders off to eat them).  Slingshot the button to the
    left of the main entrance, and you'll make your sacrifice to the idol.
    
    Poor little guy...
    
    ---
    
    Phlegm
    
    Sure.  You've opened the way to get inside, but you can't climb up the
    slippery mucus-y tongue.  Of course, another monk has popped up to
    provide you with a lift.  Hop on his tablet and take a ride to the top
    of the idol (you'll probably take some damage in this fall).  First,
    hop over the top of his head and pick up the tail and the money on his
    neck.  Hop back over and get near his nostrils.  Wait for them to smoke
    (it hurts) and hop onto one of his nostrils and press B to pull out your
    trusty pepper shaker.  Do this for both nostrils and, if you ever
    watched cartoons, you'll know what happens next.
    
    After his tongue is cleared, climb up it.  Watch out for the uvula, and
    run inside.  Run past the horizontally swinging uvula inside, then the
    path splits.  To the left are two back-and-forth swinging uvulas.  To
    the right are, simply, two minor jumps.  The right way's arguably the
    safer way, but you'll eventually have to go the left way, so get some
    practice if you feel you need it.
    
    Run past the last uvula once the paths join, and Conker will pick up a
    headdress that an unconscious caveman dropped.  Go back through the
    idol's gullet and out his mouth.
    
    ---
    
    Worship
    
    The lovely disguise Conker is sporting will now make the cavemen see
    him as their leader, or god, or whatever.  The four that were
    worshipping the idol are now worshipping Conker.  They'll follow you
    anywhere, even to Rock Solid.  They're not very bright, though, so
    you'll have to stick close to them so they'll follow you all the way
    up the slope without falling off.
    
    Lead at least three up to the surface and head for the rock guys.  Hit
    one with your frying pan, and your followers will run up and bash the
    rock guy to bits with their clubs.  Keep doing this to bust up all the
    rock monsters in the area, and speak to the bouncer of the club.  He'll
    begrudgingly let you in.
    
    ---
    
    Rock Solid
    
    Nice music, eh?  If you've ever been clubbing, you know this is standard
    fare.  Take a look around and you'll notice several rock folk on the
    floor gettin' down.  You'll see a keg down below, Berri dancing in
    a cage, a few cavemen at the b...
    
    BERRI??
    
    Huh...  There she is...
    
    Well, the idea is to spring her from her prison, no matter how much it
    looks like she's enjoying herself.  First, note the button right in
    front of the entrance.  This opens up a door down under her cage, but
    it requires constant pressure.  There's a rock guy passed out behind the
    bar.  Roll him around the floor of the club, up the slope and onto the
    button.  Now, that open door leads to the top balcony, where there are
    two rock babes dancing, and another button.  This button opens up the
    other two doors on the ground floor.  Once again, it needs constant
    pressure, but how to get a rock through that door, so you can get it up
    there?
    
    The answer, as is the answer to most problems, is your bodily fluids...
    
    Head over to the keg and load yourself up.  Waddle over to the rock guy
    nearest the center door, line yourself up so that he's between you and
    the door, and let 'er rip.  Be sure to make use of the Z button to
    extend your stream.  You need to push him into the hole, and it may
    take a couple of tries before you get it right, so don't get discouraged
    if you screw up once or twice.  All it'll cost you is one health piece
    when the guy gets back up and pounds you if you mess up.
    
    So, once he's through (and you're sobered up, using the first aid kit
    in the middle of the room on the little plateau), hop up to the balcony
    using the platforms near the left door (don't go through the center
    door, unless you feel like losing health), and push the rock guy along
    the balcony.  Watch out for the rock girls dancing up here.  They'll
    push the rock guy back to the ground given half a chance (and you'll
    have to do it all over again).  Wait until they're making their way back
    into their little alcoves, then push as hard as possible.  Push him
    onto the button, and the other two doors will open.
    
    Tank up once again and push the other rock guys through their respective
    doors the same way (By the way, you can't push the girls, they'll just
    shriek and duck).  They'll each land on top of Berri's cage, and the
    second one will smash the cage open.  Berri will take off (she doesn't
    recognize you) and you can enter where her cage was and pick up the
    wad of dough there.  Try to leave, but the bouncer will stop you and
    take you to see the Boss...
    
    ---
    
    Bomb Run
    
    The Boss (basically a weasel mafia-type guy), will give youse a little
    job.  You have to take a bomb into the cavemen's place and drop it in
    the place where you found the dino egg.
    
    This is kinda tough, because you have just about enough time to get the
    bomb to the place where it needs to be dropped, so you'll need to book,
    and it'll probably take you more than one try.
    
    So, run as fast as your little legs will carry you down to the temple.
    Run down most of the slope, but drop off when the drop is about one and
    a half the height of Conker, so you don't get hurt, which will set off
    the bomb.  Head straight for the tongue of the idol and run inside its
    throat the moment you've got an opening in the uvula.
    
    Inside the throat, you'll have to take the left path, since you can't
    jump with the bomb.  Move as soon as you get openings and run your tail
    off all the way to the end.  Once you're out, move all the way to the
    far edge of the platform, and you'll drop the bomb.
    
    The aftermath of the explosion basically filled the whole place up with
    lava.  Hop along the rather obvious path of stones and exit by the
    rather obvious door at the end.
    
    ---
    
    Mugged
    
    Exiting to fresh air, Conker will meet up with some rough-looking cave
    guys who'll immediately bonk him and swipe his money.  When he comes
    to, he'll see the four baddies with his money on their hoverboards.
    During the taunting, one falls off his board, so the remaining three
    challenge Conker to a race to get his money back.
    
    Run up the path to the opening and you'll appear in an alcove above the
    board.  Hop on:
    
    Stick Up: Speed up
    Stick Down: Slow down
    Stick Left/Right: Turn
    A: Jump
    B: Frying Pan
    
    This is probably the first place you'll lose a lot of lives, and you'll
    probably get some Game Overs, too.  The biggest pain you'll find here
    is the brontosaur that walks back and forth at a couple of points along
    the track.  He'll turn you into hamburger in no time if you run into
    him at full speed.  Minor bumps will only cost you one chocolate bar,
    but major crashes will blow you to pieces.  Take care when riding, and
    don't hesitate to hit the brakes if it means you'll live for a while
    longer.
    
    So, the basic idea of this race is to catch up with the cavemen and whap
    'em with the pan.  You'll get a portion of your money back each time.
    Knock all three out and a gate near the entrance will open up, and
    you'll need to make a flying leap from a stone jump into the cave,
    grabbing the wad of cash along the way.
    
    Note that after you knock out the first two guys, the map will change
    slightly.  The gate early on has moved, and now you have to bear right
    when you reach the gate.  Just a heads up.
    
    ---
    
    Raptor Food
    
    You'll lose control of the board, crash into the side of a platform, and
    tumble headlong into an arena, where you'll see a huge crowd in the
    stands, and a couple of huge people at the head chairs: Buga the Knut
    and his girlfriend, Jugga.  Yep...
    
    Anyway, head towards the drawbridge to start the party.
    
    Buga will send out "Fangy" to deal with you.  Fangy has a taste for
    just about anything that wanders into his path.  Several cavemen will
    also be released into the area.
    
    You have one of two options here, and the second is far more useful.
    
    The first option is to lead Fangy around towards the cavemen and he'll
    gobble them up when he catches sight of them.  This is risky, because,
    if Fangy gets you, you'll lose two chocolate bars, one in the bite, the
    second in the throw.
    
    The second, and far better, option, is to go towards the B Pad in the
    middle of the arena, and press B when Fangy's close.  You'll pull out
    your watch, and hypnotize the guy, and climb on for some caveman-
    munching fun:
    
    Stick: Move
    A: Jump
    B: Bite (Swallow if something's in his mouth)
    Z: Headbutt
    B while running: Dashing Headbutt
    
    Run around with Fangy to get a feel for his movement.  Run into any
    caveman, and he'll automatically pick it up in his mouth, where you can
    press B to swallow him.
    
    Eat up all the cavemen in the area, and Buga will call in the infantry.
    Specifically, six guys with clubs.  If the guys with clubs hit you
    while you're on Fangy, you'll be knocked off, and you'll have to do the
    hypnosis thing again.  (This time it won't be automatic, so stop when
    you hear the *boing* and Fangy lowers his head)
    
    The way to beat these guys is to run into a caveman to pick him up, then
    run away from the pack.  When you're a good distance, then you can
    swallow him.  If you stay in the pack to swallow, you'll be hit.
    
    Eat all the infantry guys, and Buga will send out the next wave.  These
    guys have throwing spears.  Attack them in the same way.  Just be
    mindful of flying spears
    
    Once you finish off the spear-throwers, you'll fight a combined wave of
    three clubbers and three spear-throwers.  Gobble them up, and Buga
    himself will challenge you.
    
    ---
    
    Buga the Knut
    
    Buga's pretty big, so unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your
    point of view), you'll only be able to attack him in two places: his
    crotch, and his rear.
    
    When he jumps, be prepared to jump yourself, as he'll send out a
    shockwave.  When he rears back his bone, he'll bring it down on your
    head.  If any of these attacks hit you, you'll be knocked from Fangy.
    Fortunately, Fangy has recognized you as his friend now, and he'll
    automatically run to you so you can hop back on.
    
    So, just as Buga rears up his bone, or after he jumps, bite him in the
    crotch.  His loincloth will drop and he'll cover himself.  This is the
    time to run around the back.  A lightbulb will pop up.  Press B, and
    Fangy will take a nice big hunk out of his keister.  After which, Buga
    will pull his cloth up and you can do it again.  Bite him in the butt
    three times, and you'll win, and Buga's horrible secret will be exposed.
    
    After Buga takes off and you lose Fangy, hop into the opening that the
    soldiers came out of.  You'll speak to Jugga, and you'll be able to
    leave.  Chase after the cash that runs off.
    
    In the next room, you'll be above the very first temple that got you
    entry to this whole mess.  Move on to the next area.
    
    Now, you're in the area with the two guard weasels.  Note the tail
    across the way.  Hop up on the left side of the gate you just exited
    from and make your way across the platforms over there.  It's a
    five-tail!  A fitting reward for making you go a bit out of your way.
    
    Anyway, proceed along the ledge you're on, and hop off when you reach
    the end.  You'll land in the sewage river that has the spinning blades.
    Hop out of the muck and leave and you'll be back in the Great
    Mightypoo's lair.  Hop down into the hole and you'll be back in Poo
    Cabin.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    H. Windy III
    
    Conker's bad day is almost half over at this point.  These are the last
    tasks you'll have to perform in Windy.
    
    ---
    
    Wasps' Revenge
    
    As soon as you exit Poo Cabin, you'll notice the wasps carrying off the
    hive again.  Talk to Mrs. Bee, and Conker will haggle over the price of
    getting back the hive this time.  Make your way into the wasps' nest.
    
    Once you reach the hive, you'll hop in.  Time for some wasp whackin':
    
    Stick: Aim
    A: Jump in or out of Turret
    B: Manually Reload
    Z: Fire
    Up C/Down C: Zoom in and out
    
    The machine gun has about sixty or seventy rounds per belt, so don't
    worry too much about having to reload.
    
    Note that you have a radar here.  Use it.  The blue dots are wasps and
    the top highlighted quadrant of the circle is the way you're facing.
    When a blue dot turns red, that means a wasp is getting ready to
    attack you.  Turn as quickly as you can and nail him, or you'll get
    hurt.
    
    A wave will come out of each of the three sets of holes around the nest,
    then you'll get a combined wave out of all three.  Shoot them all down,
    and Mrs. Bee will tell you to move your tail.  Jump out and grab the
    hive.  Your old friends, the three wasps, will come out at this point
    and try to sting you again.  Same strategy as oh so long ago: Run, avoid
    the sticky honey part, and don't stop for anything.
    
    Once you drop the hive, Mrs. Bee will reward you with $400.  Nice...
    
    ---
    
    Mr. Barrel
    
    Now, it's finally time to scale the hill leading to the windmill.  All
    along the way, you'll run into these nasty worm-types.  Jump over them
    as they pop out and you won't be hurt.  Just take it slow and you'll be
    fine.
    
    Once you reach the top, Mr. Barrel will ask for money, but he won't say
    how much.  Being the nice guy I am, I'll tell you that you need at least
    $2110.  If you have all the money up to this point, you should have
    $2210.  Once you have enough, he'll offer you a ride.  Hop on, and use
    the Control Stick to steer your way down the hill.  Be careful, it's
    not easy.  Once you reach the bottom of the hill, Mr. Barrel will crash
    through the blocked passage at the end of the stream, and you'll be
    knocked out, to awaken when it's dark out.  Time for some nighttime
    action.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    I. Spooky
    
    Time for the game to stop playing around with you.  This is where it
    gets tough, not to mention pretty darn scary.  My compliments to Rare
    on their excellent job on the scare factor, here...
    
    ---
    
    Mr. Death
    
    Your return to the stream will be blocked off as you enter here.  Oh
    well...  Proceed down the stream and you'll reach a lake.  To your far
    left is the exit out of this whole place.  Naturally, you won't be
    able to reach it yet...  Across from you is Gregg, swatting at the
    catfish in the water. (He hates cats...)  Up the dock path, you'll find
    a closed door.  Downstream to the right is a passageway.  Enter it, and
    you'll see a lever.  Jump on the lever, and you'll open the big closed
    door.  Swim back to Gregg, and he'll tell you about the undead up
    there. (He hates undead, too...)  He'll give you a Shotgun and tell you
    you need to shoot them in the head to kill them.
    
    B: Take out/Put away the Shotgun
    A: No function (You can't jump while it's out)
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    (Hold Z while in aiming mode and you'll get a laser sight.  Release Z
    to fire.)
    
    Right, now that you're armed, those zombies don't stand a chance.  Enter
    the graveyard, and you'll quickly be set upon by zombies.  They move
    pretty fast when they want to, so quickly try to hop onto one of the
    tombstones.  From there, it's easy to snipe at them with the shotgun.
    
    Move through the graveyard slowly, and hop onto a stone when zombies
    appear.  Once twelve have been re-killed, Gregg will pop up and open the
    door at the end of the graveyard for you.  Make a beeline to the door,
    ignoring the remainder of the zombies and you can make your way to the
    next area.
    
    This area is a curving thin path up to the mansion on the hill.  Along
    this path are bony worms, much like the worms back and Windy when you
    tried to get to the barrel.  Just like with the worms before, take it
    slow, and jump over them so they'll miss you.  Once you reach the top
    of the hill, you can enter the mansion.  Yippee...
    
    ---
    
    Count Batula
    
    Okay, the chapter is Count Batula, but the tomb out in the garden says
    Count Conkula.  Oh, well...  I'll just call him the Count...
    
    The Count, doing the best Gary Oldman impersonation ever, welcomes you
    to his mansion and gives you some food.  Long story short, he's a
    vampire and bites Conker, but he needs your help.  Villagers have
    assaulted the mansion and you need to help the Count get rid of them.
    
    Oddly enough, you've been turned into a bat, and you'll need to use your
    bat powers to help your ancestor:
    
    Stick: Crawl on the ground/Aim your flight path
    A: Flap upwards
    B: Flap forwards
    Z: Drop guano
    
    Controlling Conker in the air is much like flying anywhere else.  Back
    pulls you up.  Forward makes you dive.
    
    Here's the layout of the mansion.  You start in the grinding room.  The
    main hall is in front of you.  The dining room is to the left of you.
    The library is to the right of you.  The garden is behind you.  There
    are doors connecting most every room to one another, but not all are in
    a good state, but, since you're in the air, you'll be fine for now.
    
    There are three villagers in the main hall, three in the library, and
    two in the garden.  You know you're getting close when your sonar
    flashes.  The villager you're closest to will flash red, and you can
    press Z to release your guano.  A direct hit will knock the villager
    out, and you can dive down and pick him up.  Naturally, flying will
    be somewhat hindered while carrying a villager, so be careful, because
    the villagers will attack with flying stakes, and they hurt.
    
    Carry a villager back to the grinding room and you'll drop it in.  The
    Count will fill up with the blood produced.  Keep grabbing villagers in
    the same way, and the Count will continue to fill up.  After seven
    villagers, the Count will get so heavy that the rope he's hanging from
    will break, and he'll drop into the grinders himself...  Dang...
    
    ---
    
    Zombies
    
    Well.  The good news is, you're not a bat, and the villagers are not a
    threat.  The bad news is, you're locked in here, and zombies have taken
    the place over.
    
    Want more bad news?  There are three separate keys to open the lock to
    get out of here.  Still more?  There's a very limited supply of
    chocolate.
    
    All right.  Don't panic.  Best strategy for survival is to clean out the
    zombies in an area before you grab the key, because while you hold a
    key, you're slower, you can't jump, and you can't defend yourself.
    Also, if you get hit or fall from a height, you'll drop the key and have
    to start all over again.  One thing that's kind of a pain is that there
    will almost always be at least one zombie that will respawn when you
    return to an area with a key, so dodging them will have to be a skill
    you develop early on.
    
    Key 1:
    
    Okay, the first key you need is in the dining room, in the rafters.  To
    get to it, you need to start at the main hall, face the stairs.  Proceed
    along the hallway that leads to the library, eliminating zombies along
    the way.  The library has three zombies in it.  Once you clean them out,
    climb up the stairs surrounding the bookcases, and jump on the middle
    case.  Stand on the B Pad in the middle, press B, and you'll pull out a
    crossbow:
    
    Stick: Aim
    B: Put away crossbow
    Hold Z: Laser sight
    Release Z: Fire
    
    When you pull out the bow, there will be four bats that will attack you.
    You need to kill them before you get the key, otherwise they'll make
    life miserable for you.  There's a bat in each of the four corners, and
    they'll swoop on you one at a time.  Shoot them as they flap around.
    You can even shoot as they hang from their perches.  Once you drop all
    four, proceed along the stairs, and you'll reach the grinding room at
    the top.  Move around the broken floor around the edge of the room, and
    you'll end up outside the dining room.  Plug the two zombies up here,
    then proceed along the rafters.  Hit the B Pad, and crossbow the three
    bats at the far end of the room.  Move to the end of the rafters and
    grab the key.  Retrace your steps (Dining room, Grinding room, Library,
    Main Hall) without falling or getting hit, and you'll put the key in the
    door.
    
    Key 2:
    
    The second key is in the garden.  You could reach it before, but you
    couldn't get it out, because of the hole leading out of the garden.
    The good news?  That hole's now filled.  The bad news?  There were no
    zombies in this area before, but surprise surprise, the path's full of
    them now...
    
    From the main hall, make your way to the path to the dining room,
    shooting all the zombies.  The dining room has quite a few zombies, so
    hop on the table to deal with them.  Once the place is clean, proceed
    into the garden, keeping an eye out for the undead buggers.  Clean out
    the garden, using the hedges as a perch if you feel so inclined, and
    grab the second key.  Run back through the dining room to the main hall
    and put the key in the door.
    
    Key 3:
    
    The third key is on the third floor of the grinding room.  A ladder
    just appeared that can lead you from the second floor of the grinding
    room up there.  Climb up the main hall's stairs, and enter the door on
    the right.  Hop over to the ladder, and climb up.  You'll find three
    life-saving chocolate bars up here, and if you look back in the
    direction of the main hall, you'll see a lever up here.  Float across
    the broken floor over there and grab it.  A secret passage will open,
    with one end across the room near the key, and the other in the main
    hall under the right side of the stairs.
    
    Now, you can hover over to the key now, and make a break for it, but
    the safer option is to go back to the main hall, clean it out, and use
    the secret passage to proceed to the third floor.  Walk over to the key,
    make your way back to the secret passage, and put it in the door, and
    you're free!  Wasn't that easy?
    
    ---
    
    Mr. Barrel (Revisited)
    
    Conker will notice the bony worms again, and he'll also notice Mr.
    Barrel's sitting next to the stairs (bet you were dyin' to use him).
    Run over to him and roll out of the house and down the path, as
    carefully as possible.  You'll pick up a lot of speed going down the
    hill, so you'll have your work cut out for you.  Roll the barrel all
    the way down the path, through the graveyard, down the dock, and out
    into the lake.  Roll upstream towards the passage that you couldn't
    reach because the current's too fast, and you'll make it this time.
    Once you enter the passage, you'll be back in the Hungover area, and
    you'll FINALLY be able to grab that last stack of cash.  Make your way
    out of Hungover and back to Windy.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    J. It's War
    
    The hardest, and longest, chapter in the game.  This chapter tests your
    mettle in the furnace heat of battle.  The good news is that Conker
    finally gets decently armed.
    
    ---
    
    It's War
    
    The titular section for the chapter starts when you re-enter Windy, and
    you get the old '40s newsreel about the war going on.  Since Conker
    doesn't have anything better to do, he might as well sign on.  Head in
    the direction of "Nasty" and you'll see a door with barbed wire in front
    of it.  Finally, that door is open.  Hop over the barbed wire and enter.
    
    ---
    
    Power's Off
    
    The sergeant will try to explain to you the situation.  Basically, your
    objective is to clear the way since a bomber plane just crashed into
    the only way out of the harbor.  Hop down to the beach, and he'll
    mention an electric eel down in the water.  Your objective is to lure
    the eel through those hoops half-buried in the harbor bottom.  You only
    need to lead him through the three hoops that are connected by wires
    to the harbor.  Swim down and through the hoops, and the eel should
    follow you.  Get him through all three, and the power will be restored,
    and a B Pad will appear.
    
    ---
    
    TNT
    
    Hop out of the water and check out the ramp and the sign that says
    "TNT".  At the top of the ramp, there's a men's room.  Press B to knock
    on the door and a purple guy with a big TNT barrel strapped to his back
    will wander out.  You need to push him to get him going.
    
    Only problem is, if you push him down the ramp, he'll slide too far and
    crash down into the harbor.  To prevent that, go to the bottom of the
    ramp and note the steel box that's sitting in a groove.  Push the box
    along the groove until it's between the ramp and the stairs to the
    harbor.  Now, when you slide TNT Guy down the ramp, he'll stop there.
    
    NOTE: If, by ill chance, you lose a TNT Guy in some manner, just go
    back to the bathroom, and there'll be another one.
    
    Okay, you need to bring a TNT Guy to each side of the bomber that's
    crashed in the harbor exit.  You need to take him around the outer edge
    to get there, and both ways are disaster areas, naturally...  You can
    go either way, but, for the sake of argument, we'll assume that you go,
    oh, say... left, if you're facing the harbor exit.  This way has
    bouncing ammo boxes.
    
    Get behind TNT Guy and push him close to the bouncing boxes.  Line
    yourself up with the box that's bouncing away from you, and follow it
    as it bounces, trying your best not to touch it.  Once you get past
    that, you'll have to get past a crushing steel box.  Simply push him
    past as the box rises.  Then, you have to deal with two more bouncing
    boxes, and another crushing steel box, and you can deposit the TNT Guy
    next to the plane.  Run back and step on the B Pad in the middle of the
    harbor.  You'll pull out your slingshot, and you can try to hit him
    with some kind of hot pellet thing to light the barrel.  Once it
    explodes, half the plane is gone.
    
    Go back to the bathroom, knock on the door, and grab another TNT Guy.
    This time, lead him to the right side of the harbor, that looks rather
    clear.  The problem with this side of the harbor, is that there are
    mines that are hidden in the ground.  They surface when you draw near,
    and when you touch them, they explode.  They don't move on their own,
    though, so don't worry about them chasing you.
    
    There is a pattern to where they are hidden.  They can be in one of two
    places vertically.  They can be "up", which means closer to the harbor
    wall, or they can be "down", which means closer to the water.  The
    pattern is as follows: down, down, space, then up, up, down, space,
    then down, up, down.  It's best to go through without the TNT barrel
    first and get a feel for where the mines are hiding.  Once you've
    pushed the TNT Guy through and left him next to the plane, run back to
    the B Pad and set him off as you did the first one.  The plane will be
    gone, and you can proceed to the troop transport down by the water,
    where the Sarge is waiting.
    
    ---
    
    The Assault
    
    And the award for 2nd Best Movie Parody in a Video Game goes to...
    
    If you can't tell the movie this scene is parodizing, you're too young
    to play this game, shame on you...
    
    Well, long story short, you're on a beach, and all hell has broken
    loose.  Your mission is to stay alive.  In the murder holes above, the
    Tediz are raining hot lead down upon you, and they're pretty accurate
    with their shots.  To stay alive you'll have to jump from barrier to
    barrier (those metal X-type things in the sand).  Once you reach a
    barrier, just stay there until the hail of lead subsides, then make a
    break as fast as possible for the next barrier, ignoring shots whizzing
    around you (and puncturing holes in the camera lens ^_^).  Just make
    your way from cover to cover as you head for the wall of the complex.
    
    ---
    
    Sole Survivor
    
    Will wonders never cease, you were the only one to make the run.  Your
    fellow soldier here will explain the situation, before getting pegged,
    himself.  It's up to you, soldier.  Press B and you'll pull out your
    cigar, and your weapons:
    
    Two 30-round, fully automatic, quick reload, 9mm machine pistols:
    
    Stick: Move (slower than normal)
    B: Take out/Put away guns
    A: Manually reload
    R: Aiming Mode (Stick Aims)
    Z: Fire
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    As with Spooky and the shotgun, there'll be times where you'll have to
    put away your guns to be able to jump and move faster.  I suppose it
    goes without saying that you have unlimited ammo, but be careful to
    reload after every fight.
    
    Shoot the lock on the door, grab any chocolate in the area, because
    you'll need all the health you can get.
    
    Okay, inside the corridors, there are a few tips to keep you alive:
    
    1. Assume Tediz are hiding everywhere: behind every crate, around every
    corner, above every hatch in the ceiling, because they probably are.
    2. After every shootout, always reload.  Nothing worse than being
    caught with empty guns.
    3. Go for head shots.  Kills come quicker that way.
    4. There are times when you'll have to put away your guns to jump over
    laser trip-mines.  Do so, but as soon as your in the clear, pull out the
    guns again, because the bad guys have a nasty habit of ambushing you as
    soon clear trip-mines.
    
    Once again, kudos to Rare on the music here.  Very suspenseful, with
    orchestra hits whenever Tediz rush you.
    
    Honestly, I could give you a diagram of this place and you probably
    would do no better than if I just gave you the preceding tips and said
    "Good luck".  It's that tough.  Because I'm a nice guy, though, here's
    what you can expect inside the corridors.
    
    First Room: There are four Tediz here.  One will hop up onto a box, one
    will charge you, and the other two will try to flank you to the left
    and right.  Shoot them all, starting with the one on the box.  Once
    they're gone, the door will open.
    
    First Corridor: Crawl under the first set of lasers.  Move slowly and
    walk under the diagonal lasers.  Don't let the pipe scare you.  Make
    a left turn, and you'll see a small box to your left and a couple of
    boxes to your right further on.  A Tediz will run out from behind the
    first box when you get close, and two will run out from behind the
    stack.  Once you get close to the corner, another will run out.
    
    Make a right turn, and get close to the lasers, still keeping your guns
    out, because a Tediz will jump out on the box behind the lasers.  Jump
    in the air, then hover for a couple of seconds.  Once you're under the
    top laser, float through.  Immediately whip out your guns, because four
    Tediz will rush you soon after you land.  Keep moving, and watch the
    ceiling hatches.  When you get close to the first one, two Tediz will
    tumble out of it.  Walk under the diagonal laser, and watch the box for
    a Tediz to jump on it.  Two more will pop out of the hatch at the end
    of this part.
    
    Make a gradual left turn, and another two will drop from a hatch, and
    a third will come from behind the nearby box.  Once they're gone, you'll
    make your way to the elevator, barely avoiding a bunch of nasty mines.
    
    Second Corridor: Once you exit the elevator, hop over the first two
    lasers, then pull out your guns, because a Tediz will drop from a hatch
    and another will come from behind the box.  Cross the last laser and
    two more will dash from around the corner.
    
    Make a right turn, and you'll notice a little guy that looks like the
    TNT Guy, only he's got a flamethrower.  He sprays a constant stream of
    flame at the wall opposite him, and he can't be harmed, so you can just
    walk past him when he stops.  You have enough time to walk past with
    the guns out, so keep them out, to be on the safe side.
    
    Once you pass the Flame Guy, one Tediz will hop up on a box, and another
    will charge you from behind it.  Pass two more Flame Guys and you'll
    have four Tediz rushing at you from around the corner.
    
    Make a left turn, then deal with the Tediz that comes out of the ceiling
    hatch.  Walk past the vertical lasers (you have room), and take care of
    the Tediz that drops from the next hatch.  After that, one charges from
    behind the box, and the next one hops on the box.
    
    Make a left turn.  In this part of the corridor, there are almost no
    Tediz, but there are three Flame Guys and some lasers on the floor.
    Make your way past all these, and take your guns out before you reach
    the corner.  Five Tediz will charge around the corner one after the
    other, so fill the corner with a constant stream of lead at head height
    to get them all.
    
    Make a right turn.  A Tediz will pop out of the ceiling hatch, and
    one will pop out of the next hatch, as well...  When you reach the
    lasers, jump carefully over the first low ones, then walk past the high
    one, and you're done!
    
    ---
    
    Casualty Dept.
    
    You'll enter what seems to be one those "demented doctor" places you
    see in some movies, or whatnot.  Two Tediz will be hear, casually
    discussing the game, then they'll notice you and get back into
    character, chattering as Tediz do.
    
    I think the best strategy for this area is to just stay put and fire as
    you get an opening.  The Tediz doctors will attack you three at a time,
    and you'll fight nine in the area.  They dash and duck around the place,
    behind the tables and boxes, and they'll throw knives, but not very
    accurately...
    
    Take out all the Tediz and walk up to the squirrel in the electric
    chair.  He'll ask you to let him out.  Pull either of the two levers,
    they both do the same thing, then pull the other one to open the door
    to the next area.
    
    The good news?  There's only one Tediz in this next room.  The bad news?
    He's strapped behind a heavy caliber turret gun.  Dash behind the boxes
    and wait until he stops to reload.  When he does so, dash to the next
    set of boxes.  Keep doing this until you can get right next to him.  He
    can't hit you if you're right next to him.  Note the rope nearby.  On
    the next reload, dash for the pipe next to the rope for cover from the
    next hail of lead, then scale the rope as fast as possible for the hail
    of lead after that.  Run along the top of the crates and you'll end up
    at a B Pad.  Face the gunman, and press B to pull out a lovely bazooka:
    
    B: Put away
    R: Aiming Mode (Stick aims)
    Z: Fire
    
    Make sure the Tediz isn't just starting a new hail of bullets, or you'll
    get hit.  If you can hit him before he finishes his current clip, you'll
    be fine.
    
    Jump down and hop into the seat of the turret gun.  You'll now have to
    fend off a bunch of Tediz that are pouring in from both doors in the
    area.  The first eight or so come from the door on the right.  The next
    wave comes from the door on the left.  After that, you'll get a combined
    wave between the two doors.  It's tough, and you'll probably get hit at
    least once.  Good luck.
    
    Once you finish, you'll see a door open.  Jump out of the gun and head
    for that open door.  In this room, look at that blueprint on the wall...
    Looks pretty funky, doesn't it?  Head down the ramp to the right of the
    diagram, and you'll head outside.
    
    ---
    
    Saving Private Rodent
    
    You'll be outside here.  You'll witness a firing squad about to execute
    a squirrel.  They'll shoot, but he won't be hurt.  You have to help him,
    of course.  You have the luxury of the first shot, so line them up so
    you can hit more than one at once, because these guys are pretty smart,
    and they have grenades.
    
    Once you shoot them up, you'll talk to Rodent, who has a suit on that's
    pretty much everything-proof.  He'll act as your shield for the next
    area.  Sounds good to me...
    
    So, proceed along this big trench area, and Conker will notice bombers
    starting the air attack.  Move slowly along the trench, as bombs will
    drop on certain areas as you get close.  After the first bomb drops,
    Rodent will tell you to get behind him.  Do so, because a mine is
    charging at you.  It'll explode when it touches Rodent, but you'll both
    be fine.  Continue along.  More mines will attack after the third and
    fifth bombs, so be sharp.
    
    Once you reach the end of the trench, you'll come upon a huge door.  To
    open it, first hop over to the raft floating in the river with the B
    Pad on it.  You'll pull out your bazooka.  Fire at the four lights
    surrounding the lock on the door.  Don't worry about getting hurt, or
    shooting the Tediz who parachute in all over the place.  If you shoot
    all four lights and die afterwards, when you come back, the door will
    still be open.  Just get all four lights before you die...
    
    Anyway, rush through the door, ignoring the Tediz...
    
    ---
    
    Chemical Warfare
    
    You'll enter a small area with a brand new Class 22 tank sitting gassed
    up and ready to go.  You're not going on a big ride just yet.  You need
    to open that massive door on the far wall, first.  To do that, hop in
    the tank:
    
    Stick Up/Down: Forward/Back
    Stick Left/Right: Pivot Left/Right
    A: Get out
    Z: Fire
    Left C and Right C: Rotate Turret independently of the tank
    R: Aiming Mode (Stick aims)
    Up C and Down C: Zoom in and out in Aiming Mode
    
    It's a little unwieldy at first.  Drive around a bit to get the feel for
    it.  Aim the turret at the small door with the radiation symbol on it
    and blast it open.  Hop out and run inside.
    
    In this small corridor, run until you see a pit of waste.  Jump over it,
    then immediately jump back, because a mine on the other side will run at
    you.  It'll explode when it hits the waste.  There are two more pits
    after this, and a mine for each of them.  Once you deal with all of
    them, pull the lever at the end.  The place will start to fill with
    waste, so hightail it out of there.  It's kinda tricky, because you
    won't be able to rotate the camera to see what's ahead of you.  Move
    your tail to the door, and head back outside.
    
    ---
    
    The Tower
    
    Now, you get an extended ride in the tank, but you've got a problem in
    the form of a nasty turret gun in a tower at the next area.  To dethrone
    the gun, you need to blast the four supports on the tower with the tank.
    There are several bridges that you'll need to lower to allow the tank to
    access the areas from where you can blast the support, but you have two
    problems.  If the gun catches sight of you and you're not in the tank,
    you'll be shot to pieces.  The other problem is that there are several
    Tediz hiding in the sand in this area.
    
    First, start by lowering the first bridge right away, by standing on the
    high end of it (out of the tank) and pressing B to anvil drop it.  Hop
    back in the tank and roll over the Tediz nearby.  Wait until the gun
    passes, then lower the next bridge, hop in the tank, run over the Tediz.
    Do this all the way around the tower.  Once you've opened up all access
    and killed all the Tediz, shoot out each of the supports with the Tank.
    Once all four are gone, the tower will collapse and create a big hole in
    the middle of the area.  Get out of the tank and hop into that hole.
    
    ---
    
    Little Girl
    
    You'll drop into an underground lake area.  You'll be on an entrance
    platform, and the main platform will be surrounded by three piers with
    B Pads on them.  Each of these piers also has a small covered area with
    a chocolate piece.  Go towards the center of the area and you'll find a
    little girl.  She'll warn you about ballistic missiles on the way.
    These are coming from subs in the water, and you'll have to take them
    out.  The ballistic missiles are dumb, fortunately, and fire at exactly
    the spot you're standing when you hear them launch, so they're easily
    avoided.
    
    Head towards the pier to the right of the entrance platform (if you're
    facing it from the center) and wait for the missile to launch, then
    move towards the B Pad, and you'll pull out your bazooka.  Aim for the
    sub in the water and fire.  If the sub fires before you can blow it,
    move out of the way and let the missile land, then go back and try
    again.  You have to destroy three subs at this pier, and they each come
    out one at a time.
    
    Alternatively, you can try to shoot down the missiles.  It's your call.
    If you miss the missile, you're probably going to get hit, so that's the
    risk you take.
    
    Once the three are destroyed, head clockwise to the next pier.  There
    are two subs firing at a time here, so wait for both to fire before you
    step on the B Pad.  You have to destroy a total of five subs from this
    pier.
    
    Once they're all gone, go to the last pier, where, again, two subs fire
    at once, and you have to destroy eight subs this time.  Once they're
    all gone, head back to talk to the girl.
    
    ---
    
    The Experiment
    
    As you talk to the girl, Rodent will drop in with the tank.  At this
    point, the girl will perform an Exorcist routine (complete with line)
    and Conker will get a little wary.  The hatch she's sitting in will
    open completely, and the Tediz experiment will come out.  It's basically
    a robotic spidery lower body and legs, with a huge Tediz upper body and
    head, with the little girl puppet on the thing's hand.
    
    First thing to do is to make a beeline for the tank and hop in before
    the Experiment can catch up to you.  Once you're inside, head
    immediately for the nearest shelter (those rock formations with
    chocolate under them) and swivel your turret to face the Experiment,
    keeping your treads horizontal to it so you can move horizontally.
    
    The Experiment will pull out its miniguns.  (I love the descriptions)
    These high-rate weapons will fire in long bursts, with short pauses to
    reload.  During those short pauses, slide the tank out and fire (without
    aiming) in the general direction of the Experiment, hoping to hit one
    of its guns.  Shoot them both off, and the Experiment will charge you.
    
    At this point, get into Aiming Mode and shoot the little girl puppet of
    the Experiment's hand.  The main body will chase after its brain, and
    the very obvious hatch on its back will open.  As if I needed to tell
    you, fire a shell into the beast's back, then get back under shelter.
    
    Now, for the second round of weapons.  The Experiment will pull out its
    Magneto Laser.  This doesn't let up, but it aims very slowly, so if you
    have it aiming towards one side of your shelter, you can slide out the
    other side and peg one of the guns.  Knock them both off, then shoot the
    puppet, then the back once more.
    
    For the final piece of weaponry, it'll deploy fur-seeking missile
    launchers.  These are four missiles to each launcher, so count the
    missiles as they fly out at you.  After four leave each launcher, slide
    out and fire.  Wait for another volley, then slide out and fire again.
    Once the launchers are gone, shoot the puppet, shoot the back, and
    you're done.
    
    The Experiment, in its defeat, will release mines to destroy the Tank.
    Conker will make it out in time, but it looks bad for Rodent...
    
    ---
    
    Countdown
    
    That scamp, she rigged this place for self-destruct.  Hop into the hole
    and you'll be back in the first corridor from back in Sole Survivor.
    This time, however, the place is covered with lasers...  Good luck.  You
    have 4 minutes and 30 seconds to get all the way out of here...
    
    First Lasers:  Coast over the first two low lasers, but be careful not
    to hit the high one.  Jump over the last low one.  On the diagonals,
    jump up onto the box, and float over the first four, then walk under the
    last one.  Alternatively, you can just crawl under the diagonal lasers.
    
    Second Lasers: Simply jump into the air and float between the second and
    third vertical lasers.
    
    Third Lasers: Hop onto the box and land in between them all.  Jump into
    the air, and float for two seconds.  When you get low enough (your butt
    will pass the upper laser) float through.  Pull out your guns and take
    out the two Tediz waiting just around the corner.
    
    Fourth Lasers: I found a good way to get around this.  Two boxes are on
    the left side.  Get on the first box, and crawl under the wires,
    remaining on the box the whole time.  Drop off it when you're on the
    other side.  A Tediz will rush you from around the corner.
    
    Fifth Lasers: I've received a couple of ways to do this, but here's
    what I think works best.  Thanks to Paul Bliss for this.  There's a hole
    at the top on the left side.  Get as close as you can to the lasers,
    then High Jump and float over.
    
    Sixth Lasers: Simple.  Crawl under them.  In this last room, you'll be
    set upon by Tediz as you try to leave.  Don't be sliced by the lasers
    that suddenly appear in front of the exit.  It kinda stinks that you're
    stuck with the bazooka, though, for this part.  Just shoot as straight
    as you can and don't blow yourself up.
    
    Okay, now you're outside on the beach.  Bullets will be whizzing all
    around you.  Ignore them.  Your problem is actually Tediz on the beach
    that have bazookas.  There are two ways to get through this.  Ignore the
    Tediz and try to frantically jump your way to freedom, or try to pick
    them off one at a time with your own bazooka.  Either way requires a
    considerable measure of luck and skill.  Here's a map of the area...
    
    |   --------------------------|
    | 8    7               4      |   X = Crosshatch Barrier
    |   X                   X     |   #'s = Tediz (Order you should shoot
    |  6         5                |         them)
    |--------------------         |
    |                           3 |
    |    X             X          |
    |               1             |
    |     ---------------------|2 |
    |                          |__|
    |   Start
    |
    
    If, at any time, you die during this, you'll restart at the beginning
    here with 2:00 on the clock, which is plenty of time, even if you decide
    to stay and shoot.
    
    Okay.  First head along the fence towards 1, and pull out your bazooka
    to shoot him.  Next move slowly along the fence and keep going until 2
    is visible.  Shoot him, then pan left and shoot 3.  Head past the second
    horizontal fence and 4 and 5 will appear.  4 is just to the left of the
    barrier, so aim that way before you see him and shoot just when he shows
    his face, then pan left and shoot 5.  Move along towards the spot where
    6 will appear (to the left of the barrier).  6, 7, and 8 will all appear
    at once.  Hit 6 ASAP, then pan to the right and immediately shoot 7.  8
    is behind the barrier from where you're standing, so you have a small
    reprieve.  Wait until his missile hits the barrier, then strafe until
    you can see him and shoot.  Put away the bazooka and make your run for
    freedom.
    
    ---
    
    Peace at Last!
    
    Nothin' to do here, really, except watch the cutscene and return to
    Windy.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    K. Heist
    
    You're in the home stretch, now.  This chapter isn't long, but it can
    get tough.  Good luck.
    
    ---
    
    The Windmill's Dead
    
    Well, just as the title says, as soon as you re-enter Windy, if you
    look at where the windmill was, you'll see it's now in pieces all over
    the ground.  Head up to the ruins, and you'll see Rodent survived
    after all, the trooper.  Head inside the ruins, and head through the
    hole at the bottom.
    
    Well, how 'bout that?  You're standing in front of the Feral Reserve
    Bank, the place you couldn't get to oh-so-long ago.  Walk in front of
    the steps, and you'll meet your old pal, The Boss.  He'll offer you
    another job, of knocking over the bank.  Hey!  Berri's back!  And she's
    sporting a rather fetching black leather ensemble.  Conker will agree
    to do the job, but only if he gets an outfit as cool as hers.  Once
    Conker's changed, run up to the bank and through the revolving door.
    
    ---
    
    Enter the Vertex
    
    And the award for Absolute Best Movie Parody in a Video Game goes to...
    
    Once again, if you don't recognize the movie parody, you're too young
    to play this game.  Shame on thou...
    
    All right, once you get control of Conker, head for the nearest pillar.
    Note that each pillar has a B Pad in front of it.  Wait for the two
    weasel guards to start shooting at you.  As soon as you hear the word
    "Regroup!", press B.
    
    Hee hee...  Aim using the Stick and fire while pressing Z.  One hit
    will take out a weasel.
    
    NOTE: You can shoot these guys normally, but they're very good shots and
    they take a lot of normal hits to put down.  You're best off using the
    B Pads, of course.
    
    Also, a good time to use the B Pad is if the weasels start shooting at
    Berri.  Her whole point here is to draw fire for you.  You CAN get shot
    while in your little jump, so it's best to avoid that chance altogether.
    
    Anyway, once you shoot the first two, another two will show up.  Once
    you take those down, Berri will shut off the laser field and you can
    proceed to the next set of pillars.  Two waves of three weasels will
    attack here.  Deal with them in the same manner.  At the next set of
    pillars, another two waves of three weasels will attack.  At the last
    set of pillars, two waves of four weasels will attack.  This part's
    hard, as they have enough concentrated shots to tear your hiding place
    to shreds and nail you.  If they wear the pillar down, just take the
    chance and jump.  You can always try again if you die, and replay this
    incredibly fun scene again.
    
    Anyway, once the weasels are all taken out, walk towards the elevator.
    
    In the next area, you'll face a rather complicated network of laser
    beams.  Fortunately, Berri has things in hand, so just proceed into the
    Vault.
    
    ---
    
    The Vault
    
    There's a lot of cash running around here.  Basically, just whack them
    with your pan to grab them.  Grab three wads and the game will continue
    for you.
    
    I won't spoil this next cutscene, so I'll just wait here until you're
    done...
    
    ...
    
    *whistles*
    
    *checks watch*
    
    Done?  Okay.  If you haven't noticed, things have gone to hell in a
    handbasket.  It's you against a rather nasty (and familiar) looking
    alien.  First, run over to the lever in the wall and pull it.  You'll
    open the airlock, and a hatchway with a space suit.  This goes without
    saying, but don't get too close to the vortex of sucking air, whether
    or not you're in your space suit.
    
    Anyway, hop into the space suit, and prepare to take down Heinrich the
    Alien:
    
    Stick: Move
    A: Jump (using boosters)
    B: Punch
    Z: Block
    
    The alien has two attacks: One is to rush up and bite you, and the other
    is to spin its tail along the ground to try to trip you up.  It's tough,
    but try your best to rush in when you get an opening and punch it
    several times.  Once you give it an uppercut, it'll collapse on the
    ground.  Walk around behind the alien and walk to where its tail
    connects to the rest of its body to pick it up.  Don't walk to the end
    of the tail, just where it connects to the body.
    
    Here's where all that Super Mario 64 pays off.  Slowly rotate the stick
    to swing the alien around.  It doesn't matter which way.  Slowly
    increase your speed and eventually, the alien will be so that its
    nails aren't scraping the floor.  When it's aimed at the airlock, hit
    B and you'll toss it.  It'll jump back in, but that's one.  You need
    to throw it at the door three times to win.
    
    Be careful on the second and subsequent tries, because the alien will
    wise up a bit and dodge your punches a little more effectively.  You'll
    have to time your movements.  When it lunges to the side, immediately
    jump, because it'll spin.  When it lunges back, press Z to block and
    it'll be stunned.  You can then punch the crud out of it and throw it
    out.
    
    ---
    
    End Cutscene
    
    Sit.
    
    Watch.
    
    Good boy.
    
    Well, good work.  Conker has survived his Bad Fur Day.  Now, you can
    relax with some Multiplayer and speculate on how bad Conker's next
    day will be, which we will hopefully find out on the GameCube sequel.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    5. Multiplayer
    
    Although not as an extensive multiplayer experience as, say, Goldeneye,
    or Perfect Dark, Conker's BFD offers a nice array of options to have fun
    with your friends.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    A. Settings
    
    Each multiplayer game has it's own individual settings that can be 
    tweaked to your own personal desires.  Here's the basic rundown of 
    attributes you'll find in most areas...
    
    AI: The computer's intelligence.  
    Inbred - Crap - Normal - Bastard - Einstein
    Dumbest<-------------------------->Smartest
    
    Time: Naturally, the length of time the match carries on for.  Can be 
    anywhere between 3 and 10 minutes.  Can sometimes be unlimited, but 
    Lives have to be set in its place...
    
    Lives: The number of lives you have before you're out of the game.  
    This can be anywhere between 1 and 5, and can sometimes be set to 
    unlimited, but you need to set a time in its place.
    
    NOTE: One or the other of Time and Lives is always unlimited if both 
    are adjustable in a game.
    
    Radar: On or Off.  Dots indicated other players.  A black line above 
    the dot means the person is above you, and a black line below means the 
    person is below you.
    
    Score: Some games have their own method of scoring, which can be set.
    
    Other games have individual settings.  I'll explain how each game uses 
    their settings in their sections.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    B. Weapons
    
    No multiplayer game involving blood and guts would be complete without
    a lovely assortment of killing apparati, and Conker is no exception.
    Note that picking up any weapon will drop the old one (with the
    exception of bombs).  Take that into account as you battle.
    
    ---
    
    Close-Combat
    
    The nice thing about close-combat weapons is that you enjoy no loss in
    mobility.  You can still jump and everything.  The bad news, naturally,
    is that you have to get close...
    
    ---
    
    Baseball Bat
    Bone Bat
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Jump
    Z: Swing
    C Buttons: Camera Functions
    
    Damage: 1
    
    The only true advantage to these weapons is that you automatically
    spawn with them, in the Heist and Temple arenas.  A Baseball Bat does 
    make a good fail-safe weapon for knocking out a money-carrier, and if 
    you can hit your enemy enough times in succession, it'll add up.
    
    ---
    
    Chainsaw
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Jump
    Z: Swing
    C Buttons: Camera Functions
    
    Damage: 6 (Instant Kill)
    
    Rev up the Poulan and get your hockey mask.  This is a good weapon if
    you're agile enough to get close, and the swing is relatively quick, so
    your instant kill will come easily...
    
    ---
    
    Katana
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Flip
    Z: Swing
    C Buttons: Camera Functions
    
    Damage: Slash - 1
            Follow-up Slice - 6 (Instant Kill)
    
    I love this weapon.  I've analyzed it, and it doesn't make you any
    faster, or jump any higher, but it does have some nice perks.  To make
    the kill, you need to hit the enemy with one slash, then hit the button
    again to decapitate them, but the perks don't end there.  Your footfalls
    are now silent.  You are invisible to radar, and you can survive falls
    that would normally harm you.  Note, however, that you cannot survive
    falls that would normally kill you...
    
    ---
    
    Throwing Knives
    Bone Knives
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Jump
    Z: Throw
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: 1 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    
    Yeah, I know they're not close-combat, but they don't fit anywhere, so I
    stuck 'em here.  Knives are okay, but they're probably on the bottom of
    the weapons totem pole.  There's really always something stronger,
    faster, or more convenient.  But, at the end of the day, you may find
    that a well-placed knife can still save your bacon.
    
    ---
    
    Automatics
    
    Some automatics require you to reload every so often.  As is always the
    case, the big advantage with automatics is you can lay down a spray of
    fire and have a better chance of hitting someone.
    
    ---
    
    Semi-Auto Rifle
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Reload Manually
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: 2 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    Clip: 30
    Mobility Loss: None
    
    Not a bad weapon.  It gets decent points for causing damage, but being
    semi-auto, you need to keep pressing Z to fire it.  The reload time is
    pretty long, too...
    
    ---
    
    Machine Guns
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Reload Manually
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: 1 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    Clip: 30 X 2
    Mobility Loss: None
    
    A really good all-around weapon.  Probably the only thing bad about this
    is the fact that, for some reason, it's tough to aim while moving, but,
    that aside, it's an excellent piece of weaponry for putting down the
    bad guys.
    
    ---
    
    Tommy Gun
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: 2 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    Mobility Loss: None
    
    At first, I thought there was something screwy with this gun, until I
    realized the truth.  It's got a nasty kickback.  Fire it for more than
    a couple of seconds, and you're stitching holes in the ceiling.  It's
    got infinite ammo, so short controlled bursts are what work here.
    
    ---
    
    Turret Gun
    
    Stick: Aim
    A: Jump in/Jump out
    B: Reload Manually
    Z: Fire
    C Up/Down: Zoom
    
    Damage: 2
    Clip: 80 (?)
    Mobility Loss: Full
    
    Naturally, it's full mobility loss, 'cause you're not moving at all!
    In the furnace heat of battle, you can usually find something better
    than the Turret Gun to use, because you leave yourself wide open, and
    it's really tough to handle.  Of course, if you can pin down an
    opponent with this puppy, then, by all means, go for it!
    
    ---
    
    Long-Range Weapons
    
    Hope you're relatively safe, because these weapons are for campers
    only...
    
    ---
    
    Sniper Rifle
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire (Hold for laser sight, release for shot)
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Left/Right: Strafe
    C Up/Down: Zoom
    
    Damage: 1 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    Mobility Loss: Slight
    
    The de facto sniper weapon.  Naturally, the advantage to this is that
    you can strike from afar, which can be quite useful at times.  This
    rifle has a very slow rate of fire, so beware, and don't shoot unless
    you're sure you've got a hit.
    
    ---
    
    Crossbow
    Bone Crossbow
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire (Hold for laser sight, release for shot)
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Left/Right: Strafe
    C Up/Down: Zoom
    
    Damage: 1 (Head Shot: Instant Kill)
    Mobility Loss: Slight
    
    What's the difference between this and the Sniper Rifle?  This has a
    lesser zoom extent, and the bolts travel slower than a bullet, but, it
    has a higher fire rate than the Rifle.  What's better?  That's a choice
    I leave to you, the consumer...
    
    ---
    
    Power Weapons
    
    Good for one (or two) shot kills, and also for incapacitating enemies.
    The big problem with these guys is either their fire rate, their range,
    the loss to mobility, or any combination of those.
    
    ---
    
    Hand Cannon (Magnum Pistol)
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    A: Reload Manually
    Z: Fire (Hold for laser sight, release for shot)
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Left/Right: Strafe
    C Up/Down: Zoom
    
    Damage: 6 (Instant Kill)
    Clip: 6
    Mobility Loss: Moderate
    
    Yup.  No matter where you hit someone with a Cannon shot, it'll spell
    instant doom (unless they're a Raptor).  You even have a limited zoom
    with it.  Naturally, this power comes at a cost.  A slow rate of fire, a
    need to reload after six shots, and the mobility loss are all the price
    you pay for this.
    
    ---
    
    Shotgun
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: Far Shot - 3
            Close Shot - 6 (Instant Kill)
    Mobility Loss: Slight
    
    In a world of jumping around and fast guns, the shotgun had to improve
    over it's single player incarnation.  The fact that you hit really hard
    with a decent spread makes this a viable choice for weaponry in the
    arena.
    
    ---
    
    Flamethrower
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: 1
    Mobility Loss: Moderate
    
    Not one of my favorites, but I suppose it could be useful in some
    situations, or if nothing better comes to hand.  Hold down Z to release
    a steady stream of flame.  Once your adversary catches fire, they'll
    run around in panic for a couple of seconds, allowing you to set them
    up for the next hit (which you can't do until they stop moving).  If
    anyone (including you) touches someone on fire, they'll catch fire as
    well, so be careful when using it.
    
    ---
    
    Bazooka
    
    Stick: Move
    B: Take out/Put away
    Z: Fire
    R: Aiming Mode
    C Buttons: Strafe
    
    Damage: Near Miss - 2
            Direct Hit - Instant Kill
    Mobility Loss: Major
    
    Nice gun if you can get it.  These are usually put out of the way, or in
    the most direct line of fire.  Like the damage count says, even if you
    miss a bit, you'll hurt the enemy, and you'll also knock him for a loop.
    Naturally, a big weapon slows you down a lot, so put it away when no
    one's nearby, or if you come under considerable fire.
    
    ---
    
    Grenades
    Rock Bombs
    Black Bombs
    Pipe Bombs
    
    Stick: Move
    C Down: Hold to take out bomb.  Release to throw.
    
    Damage: Near Miss - 2
            Direct Hit - Instant Kill
    Mobility Loss: Major (while holding Bomb in hand)
    
    The only true "second weapon" you can have.  You'll start every Heist,
    War, Raptor (if you're an Ugga), or Deathmatch with three Bombs.
    They're rather awkward to use.  The longer you hold C Down, the farther
    you'll throw the bomb (which never ends up being very far).  If you
    want the maximum benefit from Bombs, drop them off higher ledges onto
    your enemies.  Each Bomb Box you collect will add three to your total,
    for a max of six.
    
    There are no differences between Bombs.  There might be different Bombs 
    depending on scenarios or the characters you select, but they're all the 
    same.  The only slight advantage might be for Grenades (which army 
    Squirrels use), and Pipe Bombs (which Tediz use), which may be tougher 
    to see than the lit and sparking Black Bombs or Rock Bombs.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    C. Special Scenarios
    
    Besides the standard Deathmatch, Conker offers you six specialized
    scenarios to take on.  Enjoy.
    
    ---
    
    Beach
    
    Omaha Beach...  June 5th...  I was early...
    
    This is a team game.  One team is the Frenchies.  They're unarmed
    squirrels whose job is to get to the bottom of the Tediz base and into
    the truck to Paris.  The other team are the Tediz, who are confined to
    their base above the beach, whose job it is to cut down the Frenchies
    at all costs.
    
    Frenchies: 
    
    Each Frenchie you start with has ninety seconds to make its run.  After 
    those ninety seconds, a laser zaps you.
    
    Here's the basic layout.  You'll start on one of two docks.  Straight 
    ahead is a trench running horizontally.  This trench is tough to jump 
    out of, so take the bridge over it if you don't want to be in there.  
    You'll be safe.  Unfortunately, this is pretty much the last place 
    you're safe.
    
    There are basically three pathways to make your run here.
    
    Middle Path: Naturally, this is the shortest, and it's wide open.  It's 
    a big narrow trench running straight to freedom.  You're a sitting duck 
    here, but if you trust your dodging abilities, give it a ride...
    
    Right Path: This area's covered in the beginning, but opens up 
    relatively quick.  It's big, and there's a lot of room to run around.  
    It starts in a area with foxholes and then you can drop down onto a 
    large open platform.  On the corner of this platform (where it meets 
    the wall) is a bottle of Power Pills that will give you a speed boost.  
    Use them at your own risk...
    
    Left Path: This is the most covered path, early on.  There's a big rock 
    covering you as you hug the left wall, and you'll soon come across a 
    bottle of Power Pills.  Don't celebrate too quickly, because the road 
    to freedom is tricky.  The path is suspended over a pit.  A fall in 
    will score one for the Tediz, and the path is narrow and zig-zags.  
    You may be better off leaping from the center path from here and hot-
    dogging to the exit.
    
    There is also an Upper Path for your consideration.  It runs 
    horizontally midway to the base.  There are two ways to get there.  You 
    can follow the trench and you'll run around the right wall and onto the 
    path, or you can take the left path.  Once you get to the twisting 
    path there'll be a passage in the wall that will connect you to the 
    Upper Path.  From here, you can jump onto the big rock.  On this rock 
    is a TNT Plunger.  Jump on it, and the Tediz are history.
    
    Tediz: You are confined to the three sections of the base.  The middle
    section has the big Turret Gun for your pleasure.  You can also run to
    the ramps on the right or left side of the gun to access the other two
    sections.  Going up the right ramp automatically arms you with a Sniper
    Rifle, and going up the left ramp automatically arms you with a Bazooka.
    Use whatever you feel most comfortable with.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Score: 1 - 40
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    
    Since the Tediz have the advantage over the Frenchies, you cannot adjust 
    the game too much in the Tediz' favor.
    
    Frenchies vs. Tediz
      
    1P: 1C vs C, 1 vs C, CC vs 1
    
    2P: 
    1P vs 2P: 1C vs 2, 1 vs 2, 2 vs 1, 2C vs 1
    1P/2P vs C: 12CC vs C, 12C vs C, 12 vs CC
    C vs 1P/2P: C vs 12, CC vs 12, CCC vs 12, CCCC vs 12
    
    3P: 13 vs 2C and any other combination thereof, as long as two are each 
    side.
    
    4P: 13 vs 24
    
    Scoring:
    
    Frenchie Escapes: +1 Frenchie
    Frenchie Killed (any means): +1 Tediz
    Tediz Killed (any means): +1 Frenchie
    
    ---
    
    Raptor
    
    This scenario pits the Uggas against the Raptors in a food-snatching
    showdown.  The Uggas want the Raptor's eggs for dinner, and the Raptors
    want the Uggas for dinner.  This is another team game.
    
    I really don't like this scenario, mainly because life is seriously
    stacked against the Uggas, and you'll need to be a smart Ugga to win.
    
    Uggas:
    
    Weapons: Bone Bat, Bone Knives, Bone Crossbow, Rock Bombs
    
    As previously stated, you're in for a rough ride.  Grabbing an egg will
    give you a slight mobility loss, which is more than enough for any
    Raptor to catch up to you and chow down.  The only real way to survive
    this (unless you've got a bunch of Uggas against one Raptor) is to find
    a perch and snipe at the Raptors with Knives or the Crossbow.  You get
    points for killing Raptors as well as grabbing eggs, so concentrate on
    the former.  Of course, if by any chance, you get an opening, and can 
    grab an egg, you'll get 3 points.
    
    Raptors:
    
    Stick: Move
    A: Jump
    B/Z: Bite
    C Buttons: Camera Functions
    
    It's good to be a Raptor.  You can use your bite to eat any non-Raptor
    adversary whole, and any attack that hits you, no matter what attack or
    where, does only one damage.  The only disadvantage is that you have no
    long range attack, so anyone that snipes on you has the upper hand.
    Also, being the Raptor can tend to make you the target, because no one
    wants to slug it out with the other guy when there's a hungry dino
    charging him.  If you bite an Ugga, you can carry him to your baby back 
    at the nest for an extra point.
    
    The Temple is set up like a two-sided area, with both sides the same.  
    The central area is a square temple with two floors.  There are two 
    Bone Crossbows on the bottom floor, and two Bone Knives on the upper 
    floor.
    
    In each player's side, there are Bone Knives right by the temple 
    entrance, bombs above the door, and a Bone Crossbow on the upper cliff 
    on the right side ofthe door.  All these areas are accessible through 
    interconnecting pathways.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Score: 1 - 40
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Lives: 1 - 5, Infinite
    Radar: On/Off
    
    Since the Raptors have the advantage over the Uggas, you cannot adjust 
    the game too much in the Raptors' favor.
    
    Uggas vs. Raptors
      
    1P: 1C vs C, 1 vs C, CC vs 1
    
    2P: 
    1P vs 2P: 1C vs 2, 1 vs 2, 2 vs 1, 2C vs 1
    1P/2P vs C: 12CC vs C, 12C vs C, 12 vs CC
    C vs 1P/2P: C vs 12, CC vs 12, CCC vs 12, CCCC vs 12
    
    3P: 13 vs 2C and any other combination thereof, as long as two are each 
    side.
    
    4P: 13 vs 24
    
    Scoring:
    
    Egg Fried: +3 Ugga
    Raptor Killed by Ugga: +1 Ugga
    Ugga Killed by Raptor: +1 Raptor
    Baby Fed: +1 Raptor
    
    ---
    
    Heist
    
    All right youse mugs.  Time to hit the Feral Reserve Bank.  I like this
    one, even though it can sometimes get drawn out.  This game is always
    well-balanced, no matter how many humans you use.  There is always one 
    or two weasels on the four sides.  Your objective is to grab the Money 
    Bag in the center of the bank and bring it back to your safe.
    
    Weapons: Baseball Bat, Black Bombs, Throwing Knives, Tommy Gun, 
       Sniper Rifle, Crossbow, Bazooka
    
    The place is set up as four evenly divided quadrants, one for each 
    color.  The interesting thing about this place is that weapons are 
    randomized.  You can't expect to find the same weapon in the same 
    location, with two exceptions.  The Sniper Rifles and Bombs are always 
    in the same place.  In all other cases, you can find Knives, a Crossbow, 
    a Tommy Gun, or a Bazooka in the pickup spots.
    
    The first floor consists of each of the four safes.  There's an outer 
    ring and the inner vault area where the bag sits.  There can be a weapon 
    at any of the four junctions connecting the ring to the central vault.  
    The ring also has eight ramps that lead up to four sections of the 
    second floor.  Each section of the second floor can have a weapon, and 
    they lead into a second floor balcony.  Good for bomb-tossing.  Even 
    more so because there are bombs in two of the hallways leading to the 
    balcony.
    
    There's also a third floor, with the Sniper Rifles.  To get up there, 
    you have to high jump from the balcony to another floor above.  From 
    there, enter one of the two doorways, and you'll reach the third floor 
    platforms, each with a Rifle.  Of course, you can't get money bags from 
    here...
    
    Strategies: Yellow and Green have a slight advantage in this game.  On
    their way back to their vault, they make a turn in their zone, shielding
    them from long-range attacks, whereas the Blue and Red are open the
    entire run back.
    
    Grabbing the Money Bag will give you a slight mobility loss, so if
    you're in the central area, make sure no one is around when you make a
    break for it, otherwise you'll be nailed.  You can sometimes avoid
    long range weapons, but if anyone catches up to you with their bat,
    expect to be hit and dropping the bag.
    
    When dropped, the Money Bag will attempt to hop back to its spot in the
    center.  Try to snag it before then to give yourself a headstart.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Lives: 1 - 5, Infinite
    Radar: On/Off
    Money Bags: 1 - 5 (The # of money bags to retrieve)
    
    Most of the time, there can only be four players no matter what your 
    Computer/Player settings.  The only thing that can change this is that 
    you can have eight with two humans if you have both humans select the 
    same team.  This can get fun... ^_^
    
    Scoring:
    
    Money Bag Snagged: +1
    (You can't score by getting Kills in this game.  However, if there's a
    tie at the end.  The victory goes to the person with the most Kills.)
    
    ---
    
    War
    
    It's Squirrels versus Tediz, in all out combat.  This is a team game.  
    You'll pick a side and choose one of the battles.
    
    ---
    
    Total War
    
    Like the title says, the way to glory is to shoot the other side.  You 
    each have your own base, and each side is identical.  It's not just 
    straight killing, though.  You also have the option of grabbing a 
    chemical canister from your enemy's base, carrying it to the insertion 
    point underground, and flooding the area with gas, killing anyone who's 
    not in the insertion point or not wearing a mask.
    
    Weapons: Chainsaw, Katana, Throwing Knives, Semi-Auto Rifle, Machine 
       Guns, Sniper Rifle, Hand Cannon, Flamethrower, Bazooka, Grenades, 
       Pipe Bombs
    
    So, here's the setup.
    
    Your Base: On the lower floor, there's a box of Bombs.  There's a room 
    in the back that has Machine Guns and a Semi-Auto Rifle.  There's a 
    ramp that runs around the back upper floor that has a Katana and 
    Throwing Knives.  Up the ramp to the right of the door is a doorway 
    that will take you to the sniper's roost, where you can find a Sniper 
    Rifle.  Out the main door you'll reach the Trench Field.  Up the ramp 
    to the left will be a passage that'll take you to the upper part of the 
    Trench Field.  Down the passage on the lower floor will take you down 
    to the sewers.  Partway down, you'll find a Hand Cannon, and further 
    down a side passage with a Flamethrower.  In the middle is the canister 
    insertion point.
    
    Trench Field: An S-shaped trench runs the length of the field.  Along 
    the trench, there's a hole that'll drop you into the sewers and onto 
    the Flamethrower.  On the upper fields, you'll find a Chainsaw, and 
    there's a bridge connecting the two upper fields that has the lone 
    Bazooka on it.
    
    The canisters are on the upper ramp of each base.  If someone places a 
    canister in the insertion point, everyone will have five seconds to 
    either duck into the insertion point chamber or grab one of the three 
    gas masks in each base to survive.
    
    Strategies: Pretty basic stuff applies here.  If someone grabs the 
    canister, don't try to stop them unless you have a really good chance.  
    Just go for a mask.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Lives: 1 - 5, Infinite
    Radar: On/Off
    
    Player/Computer Settings:
    
    1P: 1C vs C, 1 vs C, 1 vs CC
    
    2P: 
    1P vs 2P: 1C vs 2, 1 vs 2, 1 vs 2C
    1P/2P vs C: 12CC vs C, 12C vs C, 12 vs CC, 12 vs CCC, 12 vs CCCC
    
    3P: 12 vs 3C, 13 vs 2C, 23 vs 1C
    
    4P: 13 vs 24
    
    Scoring:
    
    Tediz kills Squirrel: +1 Tediz
    Squirrel kills Tediz: +1 Squirrel
    
    (Suicides and kills by same team don't count against you)
    
    ---
    
    Colors
    
    This is a basic Capture the Flag scenario.  You have to reach the top 
    of the enemy base and take their flag back to your base.  Pretty simple.
    
    Weapons: Chainsaw, Katana, Throwing Knives, Semi-Auto Rifle, Machine 
       Guns, Turret Gun, Sniper Rifle, Hand Cannon, Flamethrower, Bazooka, 
       Grenades, Pipe Bombs
    
    The layout of this place is a remake of the Beach.  What's changed is 
    that there's a matching Squirrel base where the beach was, and each 
    base battlements and entrances are now connected.
    
    Each Base: There are two entrances that lead out to the main field, and 
    the main lobby area has the flag insertion point (where you take the 
    opposing flag).  On the floor there are Machine Guns.  Up the ramp 
    you'll find a Hand Cannon and a box of Bombs.  Continue up the wooden 
    ramp and you'll reach the Turret Gun.  To the left and right are ramps 
    that lead up to nests.  To the right is the sniper's nest with a Sniper 
    Rifle, and to the left is an empty area, but another path that leads to 
    a Katana and the flag.
    
    Middle Area: Identical to the Beach in just about every way.  There are 
    Throwing Knives on the zigzag path outside the pathway, and under the 
    bridge in the trench.  There's a Flamethrower in the foxhole area.  
    There are two boxes of Bombs where the Power Pills are supposed to be.  
    There's a Chainsaw on the upper path, and, where the TNT Plunger in 
    Beach was, there's a Bazooka.
    
    Strategies: Flag-bearers are vulnerable, but you can drop the flag by 
    pressing B.  Standard killing tactics apply here, besides...
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Score: 1 - 40
    Radar: On/Off
    
    Player/Computer Settings:
    
    1P: 1C vs C, 1 vs C, 1 vs CC
    
    2P: 
    1P vs 2P: 1C vs 2, 1 vs 2, 1 vs 2C
    1P/2P vs C: 12CC vs C, 12C vs C, 12 vs CC, 12 vs CCC, 12 vs CCCC
    
    3P: 12 vs 3C, 13 vs 2C, 23 vs 1C
    
    4P: 13 vs 24
    
    Scoring:
    
    Squirrel Captures Tediz Flag: +1 Squirrel
    Tediz Captures Squirrel Flag: +1 Tediz
    
    If there's a tie, the win goes to who got the most kills.
    
    ---
    
    Tank
    
    In Tank, you take control of one of the famous Class-22's and face off 
    against more of the same.  This game's interesting, because you have to 
    deal with the limits the game's giving you with the sluggish tanks.
    
    You can set up this game as having two players control one tank.  One 
    will control the basic movement of the tank (and Nitro usage) and the 
    other will control the aiming and firing of the turret.
    
    Controls:
    
    Stick Up/Down: Forward/Back
    Stick Left/Right: Pivot Left/Right
    Z: Fire
    A: Nitro Boost
    Left C and Right C: Rotate Turret independently of the tank
    R: Aiming Mode (Stick aims)
    Up C and Down C: Zoom in and out in Aiming Mode
    
    Certain pickups are scattered around the field for you to add to your 
    tank and make it more of a mean machine:
    
    Shield: Grabbing this will give you temporary invincibility from tank 
    shells for about 30 seconds, but not from gas attacks.
    
    High-Velocity Gun Barrel: Kinda looks like a cup.  Attach this to your 
    barrel and any shot you fire will blow a tank up.  You only get three 
    shots, though...
    
    Sniper Scope: Looks like a black telescope.  Get this and you can use 
    Aiming Mode as described in the Controls.
    
    Nitro: Looks like two red tanks.  Grab it and hold down A to get a 
    speed boost.  It lasts for about ten seconds total.
    
    Gas Canister: You can't use this directly, but if you bring it back to 
    a bunker, you'll initiate a gas attack, and anyone not inside a bunker 
    after five seconds will be scrap metal.
    
    This game is set up rather simply, since the tanks aren't very mobile.  
    There are two bunkers (Red and Blue) right across from each other, with 
    two more off to the side of each (Yellow and Green).  The Gas Canister 
    is always in the middle, on an elevated bridge (directly in the line of 
    fire, of course).  There are four hills at diagonals surrounding the 
    middle area that can be climbed by slopes, and they may have pickups on 
    top.  The pickups are randomized, much like in Heist.  There are also 
    outer trails that can go through tunnels and past the other bunkers, and 
    you can find pickups out there as well.
    
    Strategies: Learn how to rotate the turret early (or get someone else to 
    help you with it).  Very often, you'll score hits on your deflection 
    shots, and your enemy will be trying to do the same.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Kills: 1 - 10, Unlimited (# of Kills by one person before game is over)
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Lives: 1 - 5, Infinite
    Radar: On/Off
    Turret: On/Off (2nd or 4th player has the option of controlling 1st 
           or 3rd player's turret)
    
    Player/Computer Settings:
    
    1P: 7 Computers
    2P: 2 Computers
    3P: 1 Computer
    4P: No Computers
    (Turrets Controller don't count)
    
    Scoring:
    
    Kill: +1 (Pretty simple, eh?  You get credit for every tank killed with 
    a gas attack)
    
    ---
    
    Race
    
    This game recreates the lava-boarding race in Uga Buga.  You have to 
    race the course (same one as before) and beat everyone else to the 
    finish line, duh.
    
    Stick Up: Speed up
    Stick Down: Slow down
    Stick Left/Right: Turn
    A: Jump
    B: Swing Bone
    Z: Use Pickup
    
    There are only two pickups in this game.  There's the Homing Missile, 
    which you can fire and it'll home in on anyone, and the Nitro Boost, 
    which will give you a temporary boost of speed.  Use both wisely, and 
    don't forget you can hit your adversaries with the bone to knock them 
    for a loop.
    
    Race A is the first part of the race against the cavemen in the game.  
    There are no brontosaurs to crash you up this time, thankfully.
    
    Race B is the second part of the race after you knock out the first two 
    cavemen.  It's got some tighter turns and more thin passageways.
    
    Don't forget that Lives exist in this game, so don't die too many 
    times...
    
    Naturally, there's no scoring in this game.  The victor is the one to 
    finish first.
    
    Settings:
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Lives: 1 - 5
    Laps: 1 - 20
    
    Player/Computer Settings:
    
    1P: 7 Computers
    2P: 2 Computers
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    D. Deathmatches
    
    A deathmatch, marked by a skull in the Multiplayer Menu (Gregg's skull, 
    in fact), can take place in several arenas.
    
    The selectable arenas are:
    
    The Vault (aka Heist)
    Temple (aka Raptor)
    Total War
    Colors
    Bunker
    
    The Vault, Total War and Colors are all the same as in their respective 
    scenarios for layout and weapons.  All that's different is that the 
    special stuff (Gas Canisters, Flags, Money Bags) have been removed, so 
    just have fun!
    
    ---
    
    Temple has been changed from its counterpart to be more modern.  Instead 
    of just bone weapons, they threw in the whole shebang...
    
    Weapons: Bone Bat, Chainsaw, Katana, Machine Guns, Semi-Auto Rifle, 
    Shotgun, Hand Cannon, Flamethrower, Bombs
    
    The weapons are all in the same location, but they've been changed:
    
    Ugga Side (frying pan): Semi-Auto Rifle next to the entrance, Bombs 
    above the entrance, Chainsaw on the upper right cliff.
    
    Raptor Side (nest): Flamethrower next to the entrance, Bombs above the 
    entrance, Hand Cannon on the upper right cliff.
    
    Main Temple: Katana on the first floor closest to Raptor Side, Shotgun 
    on the first floor closest to Ugga Side, Machine Guns and Semi-Auto 
    Rifle on second floor.
    
    ---
    
    Bunker is a completely new arena just for Deathmatch.
    
    It's also very tough to explain the layout in text...
    
    Think of it as a bunch of separate rooms:  There's the Center Room, 
    which has a suspended platform above it.  There's the Electricity Room, 
    which you can tell from it's blue-ness.  There's the Outside area.  
    There's the Bathroom, and there's the Turret Gun Corridor, which should 
    be pretty obvious what's in there.
    
    Okay, I'm gonna have to make a crude ASCII map to explain this...
    
    Bottom Floor:                               F = Fire Trap      
                                                E = Electric Trap     
                                                B = Ramp to Bottom Floor
                                 |-F--|         1 = Ramp to First Floor
                               __|_   |         2 = Ramp to Second Floor
                              | BR | 1-         BR = Bathroom      
                              |____|--|         CR = Center Room    
                                |               ER = Electricity Room
                            1---|               O = Outside           
    First Floor:                                TC = Turret Corridor 
                                                                      
                                       ____                           
                      F--|---|--2     |    |                         
                      |  |_  | ____   | O  |                          
                      | |  |--| CR |-B|2___|                       
                      |E|ER|  |____|    |__                          
                      | |__|    |      |   |                         
                      |  |--B   |------|---F                        
                      2             2--|___|                             
    Second Floor:                                                    
                                                                      
                                1                                     
                               _|__                                   
                            |-| CR |--1                             
                            |                                         
                            |                                         
                            |                                         
                      1-----TC-----1                                  
                                                                      
    How's that?
    
    Fire Traps are labelled on the map.  Basically, what a Fire Trap is a 
    button you step on, and jets of flame shoot out from nearby floor vents 
    that will kill anyone who touch them.
    
    The Electricity Trap is partly to do with the Electricity Room.  The 
    button overlooks the room, and when pressed the room becomes filled with 
    electricity (duh) killing anyone in the room.
    
    In the Bathroom, only one type of weapon is allowed.  Whenever you go 
    in there, you immediately put your weapon away and can only use your 
    stream on them.  Yup.
    
    B: Zip/Unzip
    Z: Extend Stream
    
    The stream causes one point of damage per hit.
    
    There's really not all that much special about the Outside or Center 
    Rooms, besides the fact that they have weapons.  I just needed a 
    labelling to distinguish between corridors and rooms.
    
    Weapons: Chainsaw, Katana, Throwing Knives, Machine Guns, Semi-Auto 
    Rifle, Turret Gun, Sniper Rifle, Crossbow, Hand Cannon, Shotgun, 
    Flamethrower, Bazooka, Bombs
    
    The Chainsaw is found in the Center Room in the rafters.  You can cross 
    the rafter from the second floor ledge, or just high jump from the 
    first floor and snag it.
    
    The Katana is found in the southeast corner of the first floor, near 
    the Fire Trap in the figure eight corridor.
    
    Throwing Knives can be found just west of the Electricity Trap button.
    
    Machine Guns can be found in the southeast corner of the first floor, 
    near the Fire Trap in the figure eight corridor, or just south of the 
    Electricity Room.
    
    The Semi-Auto Rifle is on the Bottom Floor, near the Fire Trap.
    
    The Turret Gun is, naturally, situated in the middle of Turret 
    Corridor.
    
    The Sniper Rifle is found in the Outside area in the northeast corner.
    
    The Crossbow can be found in the corridor north of the Center Room, 
    second floor.
    
    The Hand Cannon can be found in the west end of Turret Corridor or in 
    the Center Room on the first floor.
    
    The Shotgun can be found in the north end of Turret Corridor.
    
    The Flamethrower is found on the first floor in the northwest Fire Trap.
    
    Two Bazookas can be found.  One is right next to the Turret Gun.  The 
    other is in the Center Room in the rafters.  You can cross the rafter 
    from the second floor ledge, or just high jump from the first floor and 
    snag it.
    
    Bombs can be found north of the Turret Gun down the corridor or near 
    the northwestern Fire Trap on the first floor.
    
    That's about all there is to Bunker.  Go for the good weapons, know 
    where your enemy is, and you should do fine...
    
    ---
    
    Settings (all Deathmatches):
    
    AI: Inbred - Einstein
    Kills: 1 - 10, Unlimited (# of Kills by one person before game is over)
    Time: 3 - 10, Unlimited
    Lives: 1 - 5, Infinite
    Radar: On/Off
    
    Player/Computer Settings:
    
    1P: 9 Computers
    2P: 8 Computers
    3P: 1 Computer 
    4P: No Computers
    
    Scoring:
    
    Kill: +1 (Yup.  Real simple.  If there's a tie, the winner is the more 
    accurate person)
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    6. Miscellany
    
    ---
    
    A. Money Locations
    
    There are a couple of points in the game where you have to have a
    certain amount of money to pass.  If you're looking for extra cash,
    here's where they all are, and where you can find details on picking
    them up in the walkthrough.
    
    $100 - Help Mrs. Bee the first time (Windy: Mrs. Bee)
    $100 - Roof of Barn (Barn Boys: Marvin)
    $100 - Alcove above the Sunflower (Barn Boys: Sunny Days)
    $100 - After beating Haybot (Barn Boys: Frying Tonight)
    $100 - The sewer tunnel near the barn (Barn Boys: Slam Dunk)
    $100 - Sewers under Poo Cabin (Windy II: Sewage Sucks)
    $100 - Through the wasp nest's holes (Windy II: Great Balls of Poo)
    $100 - Top of Poo Mountain (Windy II: Great Balls of Poo)
    $100 - Bats Tower (very top) (Bats Tower: Barry's Mate)
    $10 - Catfish's Safe (Bats Tower: Brass Monkeys)
    $300 - In the catfish area above the Bullfish's resting place (Bats
       Tower: Bullfish's Revenge)
    $100 - In front of the flush handle in the Great Mightypoo's lair
       (Sloprano: U-Bend Blues)
    $100 - Entry to Uga Buga (Sloprano: The Bluff)
    $100 - On top of the big dino idol in Uga Buga (Uga Buga: Phlegm)
    $100 - Rock Solid Club, in Berri's former cage (Uga Buga: Rock Solid)
    $100 - At the end of the race with the muggers (Uga Buga: Mugged)
    $100 - After beating Buga the Knut (Uga Buga: Buga the Knut)
    $400 - Help Mrs. Bee a second time (Windy III: Wasps' Revenge)
    $100 - Escape Spooky (behind the waterfall in Hungover)
       (Spooky: Mr. Barrel)
    
    ---
    
    B. Tail Locations
    
    Lives are pretty much a joke in Conker's BFD.  When you get a Game Over,
    you start in exactly the same spot you would if you had lost a life,
    but, if you're worried about staying alive.  Here are the Tail Locations
    in the game.
    
    Windy: On the Nasty/Nice signpost
       In the Sewage area after you've filled it with the cows
    Barn Boys: In the sewer tunnel
       On the side of the barn, opposite the door switch
       Under a big part of the landscape behind the cheese enclosure (10)
    Bats Tower: Behind a waterfall at the Bullfish's river
    Sloprano: In the spinning blades area
    Uga Buga: On the big idol's neck
       In the area after you beat Buga the Knut (5)
    
    ---
    
    C. Cheat Codes
    
    Here ya go.  These are the cheats that have been revealed so far, by
    Conker Himself, XAnimal, and Parasyte.  All credit goes to them.
    
    Chapter Opening Codes:
    
    After these codes are entered, you can play the chapter indicated by
    accessing the Chapters menu.  Of course, if you've beaten the game,
    they're not worth much.
    
    PRINCEALBERT - Barn Boys
    CLAMPIRATE - Bats Tower
    ANCHOVYBAY - Sloprano
    MONKEYSCHIN - Uga Buga
    SPANIELSEARS - Spooky
    BEELZEBUBSBUM - It's War
    CHOCOLATESTARFISH - Heist
    WELDERSBENCH - All Chapters
    
    Multiplayer Characters:
    
    After these codes are entered, you can use the character or characters
    indicated in Deathmatches and Races.
    
    WELLYTOP - Conker
    EASTEREGGSRUS - Neo Conker
    BILLYMILLROUNDABOUT - Gregg, the Grim Reaper, both with and without robe
    CHINDITVICTORY - Striped shirt weasel, and bank guard weasel
    RUSTYSHERIFFSBADGE - Squirrel Sergeant and Tediz Leader
    BEEFCURTAINS - Male Zombie, Female Zombie, Male Frenchie/Villager,
       Female Frenchie/Villager
    EATBOX - Normal Caveman and the four racing cavemen
    
    Other Codes:
    
    SPUNKJOCKEY - Try slicing someone in one player Deathmatches...
    XFYHIJERPWAL IELWZS - Debug Mode
    BOVRILBULLETHOLE - Start with 50 lives
    DRACULASTEABAGS - Allows the use of the Baseball Bat in Race
    DUTCHOVENS - Allows the use of the Frying Pan in Race
    EASY - Opens Easy Mode
    VERYEASY - Opens Very Easy Mode
    
    About the Debug Mode: This is a classic "lift the cartridge corner"
    thing, if you're familiar with messing around with your games.  I don't
    recommend it, though, and assume no responsibility if you mess up your
    game using this...  You can't really do anything.  It just show some 
    weird code stuff...
    
    About EASY and VERYEASY: I believe these are mostly used for It's War 
    chapter.  Tediz aren't as good shots with these codes activated...
    
    Unfortunately, no code is saved to memory after you use it, so if you 
    want to use it again, you'll have to enter it every time you start up 
    the game...
    
    Also, if you type in naughty words, you'll get a reaction from the Fire
    Imp... ^_^
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    7. Legal
    
    This FAQ was made 100% by me, Scott "CyricZ" Zdankiewicz.  You may
    not take it in whole or in part and claim it as your own.  You must
    ask me before posting this on your site, and it must remain in its
    original text format.  I spent a lot of time on this.  Give me some
    credit.
    
    Currently, the following sites have permission to post this FAQ.
    
    www.gamefaqs.com
    vgstrategies.about.com
    www.gamespot.com
    www.cheatcc.com
    www.uggurus.com
    www.happypuppy.com
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    8. Credits
    
    CJayC, Al Amaloo, and all the other webmasters, for putting this up on
    their sites.
    
    Paul Bliss, for a few tips on the Its War chapter.
    
    Rare, for being gods among mortals once again.
    
    Nintendo, for having the cojones to authorize this.
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    9. Version Updates
    
    Version 1.2 - 7/30/2001 - Since there was no real pressure to finish 
    Multiplayer, I took my sweet time doing so...  Guide is complete.
    
    Version 1.1 - 3/23/2001 - Cleaned up some stuff in the walkthrough.  
    Added my first batch of multiplayer stuff.  Enjoy yo'selves...
    
    Version 1.0 - 3/13/2001 - Single player is finished.  Multiplayer will
    be up in due course.
    
    Version 0.8 - 3/12/2001 - Uga Buga, Windy III, and Spooky are up.  Also
    put up the Miscellany section and updated the FAQ...
    
    Version 0.7 - 3/11/2001 - Bats Tower, Windy II, and Sloprano are up.
    
    Version 0.5 - 3/9/2001 - Hungover and Barn Boys are complete...  I'll
    admit it.  This was a visibility update...
    
    ***********************************************************************
    
    10. The Final Word
    
    Well, there you have it.  Some people think of this game as a step
    backward in quality of games, but I disagree.  This is an absolutely
    hilarious jump in gaming quality, and I suggest you not knock it before
    you try it.
    
    If you're interested in looking at any of my other FAQs, I wrote FAQs
    for Perfect Dark, Ogre Battle 64, and Star Wars: Battle for Naboo.
    Check them out, won't you?
    
    Take care, have fun, and don't be so stuck up! ~_^