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     Conker's Bad Fur Day for Nintendo 64
           Walkthrough Version 0.9
     Made by Jon (sportdog74@hotmail.com)

********************************************************************************

Introduction:

If you're reading this, then you're not only reading a detailed Conker's Bad
Fur
Day walkthrough, but you're also reading my first guide for GameFAQs. This
guide is purely for a walkthrough of BFD; there's no items, story,
characters, or anything like that, only a walkthrough. I hope to help you beat
the coolest game for the N64, because I know it sure gave me trouble (and
laughs!).

********************************************************************************

Table of Contents:

I. Walkthrough updates
II. Legal statement
III. Walkthrough
            -Hung over
            -Windy
            -Barn Boys
            -Bat's Tower
            -Sloprano
            -Uga Buga
            -Spooky
            -It's War!
            -The Heist
IV. Credits

********************************************************************************


================================================================================


I.            W  A  L  K  T  H  R  O  U  G  H    U  P  D  A  T  E  S


================================================================================

August 25th 2001 - Version 0.9
The Heist added. Walkthrough complete!

August 23rd 2001 - Version 0.8
Uga Buga and Spooky have been completed. It's War! is half done.

August 21st 2001 - Version 0.7
Added other half of Bat's Tower and Sloprano.

August 20th 2001 - Version 0.6
Half of Bat's Tower added. Edited legal statement.

August 19th 2001 - Version 0.5
Added second half of Barn Boys and touched up ASCII on top.

August 17th 2001 - Version 0.4
Added ASCII on top. Also a legal statement added.

August 14th 2001 - Version 0.3
Fixed an error in "Gargoyle", added half of Barn Boys.

August 6th 2001 - Version 0.2
Added Windy and this "walkthrough updates" section. Spell-checked all work so
far.

August 1st 2001 - Version 0.1
The walkthrough was started. No sections besides Hung Over done yet. More soon.


================================================================================


II.                    L  E  G  A  L    S  T  A  T  M  E  N  T


================================================================================

Hate to do this, but I'm afraid it's gotta go somewhere. This walkthrough is
copyright 2001 by the author. It may not be reproduced nor retransmitted in any
way without prior permission from the author. Violations of the above terms can
and will result in a lawsuit.


================================================================================


III.                      W  A  L  K  T  H  R  O  U  G  H


================================================================================

Here it is, the main part of this whole thing. I tried to include as many
common
problems faced as I could, so please read carefully before e-mailing me.


*******************************************************************************
Chapter 1: HUNGOVER
*******************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SCARDEY BIRDY
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Well, after a lengthy intro you get to control the dazed Conker. Walk around
the
fence to the other side of where you started. On the other side is an opening
into the area inside the fence. Step in front of the asleep scarecrow.

After Birdy introduces himself and steps aside for you, walk around him and
onto
the pad with a "B" on it. Birdy will explain to you about these Context
Sensitive buttons. When you get control again, press B. Birdy then will drink
the beer and open the gate to where you started. Walk out of the crop field and
onto the other Context Sensitive pad and press B. Conker will have some Alka-
Seltzer, and feel much better. Finally, you get normal controls.

=-=-=-=-=-=
PAN HANDLED
=-=-=-=-=-=

Okay, time for some action. Dive into the water and swim towards the waterfall,
then jump onto the island. Conker will now recall how to high-jump and hover.
Do just that onto the tree stump sticking out and make your way up. Take your
time, you have unlimited time to do this. Ignore the door for now. Once you're
at the top, step onto the bridge and in front of the gargoyle.

This guy doesn't plan on moving for a while, but not to worry. Behind you is a
switch. Step under it and high jump to get Conker to pull it down. Remember
that
door? It's now open. Make your way back down and go into the newly-opened
door.

Once inside, take a few swings at the scared-silly key. After a while, Conker
will remember his trusty frying pan is with him for a situation like this one.
Chase after the key and smack it when you're in striking range. Pick it up to
open the door again, and head back up to the comfy gargoyle.

=-=-=-=-=
GARGOYLE
=-=-=-=-=

Step up to the lazy stone creature and take a swing. The gargoyle apparently
has
something with frying pans, and laughs so hard at your "pathetic" frying pan
that he falls off. Though the cave is right in front of you, that's not all.

Of course, the Gargoyle landed so hard that he caused a rock avalanche... with
one of the rocks blocking off the path out of here. Well, Conker still has a
few tricks up his sleeve.

Step up to the giant boulder and high jump, then hover on top of it. Once your
on top of it, look to the right of the boulder. Sticking out of the wall is
a little platform with a Context Sensitive Button. High jump and hover towards
it, then press B on the C.S button.

"A plunger... with dynamite." Yep, you know what's about to happen. KA-BOOM!
That little obstacle goes flying. Go through the path surrounded by flowers,
and, awesome! You've just finished the first chapter.

********************************************************************************
Chapter 2: WINDY
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=
MRS BEE
=-=-=-=

Welcome to the over world chapter of Bad Fur Day! Most of these things can't be
done until other chapters are done, so this chapter might be a tad confusing.

Alright, walk down the strange narrow hill, grabbing chocolate along the way.
Now you should be at full chocolate (6, to be exact). In front of you at the
bottom is a sign that says Naughty/Nice. Head along the Nice path to find a
crying Queen Bee. Step up to her red platform. After she explains her
"dilemma",
head back to the sign, this time taking the Nasty path. Okay, get ready for
your
first challenge of the game!

Walk along the path, and take notice of the dirt mound. Avoid it at all costs
when running back with the hive, or else you're stung! Keep going past the barb
wire until you reach the end of the path, where the hive is sitting. Step up to
it, and grab it. After seeing the bees come out, start running back where you
came from! Never stop, no matter what. Avoid that dirt mound again, and just
run
back to the Queen Bee. Once you reach the bee Conker'll throw the hive back
onto
the red platform, at which point the Queen Bee will go into it and shoot the
tar
outta the "Nasty" bees. As long as you just keep running and avoid that dirt
mound, you'll be alright. Now, of course, for your prize! Cash! Wahoo! You get
your first $100 of the game. Yeh, cash prizes! Okay, now walk along the bridge
and onto the stone B pad. Hey, look, Birdy again!

He'll offer you a manual for $10, and you have 10 times that amount. You love
manual long time, so you better pay up! After Birdy walk away, the cash'll
decide he liked it better in Conker's pocket, and run back to you. Now that's
loyalty! Now then, press B. Learn the catapult, and start using it! These dung
beetles take two hits, so work one at a time. After hitting it, wait for a good
opportunity to fire again. After taking out 4 dung beetles, a path will open
up.
Goody! Walk up to the two paths, and take the non-pooey one to go onto Barn
Boys. The other you won't be doing before Barn Boys is done! Come back to this
chapter after finishing Barn Boys.

=-=-=-=-=
POO CABIN
=-=-=-=-=
(Done after Barn Boys chapter)

Okay, now that you've completed Barn Boys, head down the pooey path. There'll
be
a small cabin in front of you, which is where you need to go! After speaking
with the dung beetle, walk over to the trap door and become Anvil Conker by
pressing B. Once your inside, it's gas mask time again!

Walk down the poo path and you'll be in a room full of ropes. Jump onto the one
in front of you, and climb to get to the one next to it.  Climb about halfway
up, and jump and hover across the room. Grab onto the rope all the way to the
right, and make your way left. Watch out for water-- err, poofalls. Once your
all the way left, you're gonna need to make a tricky jump into a cave where poo
is coming out of. Once you're inside, walk along the path and when you reach
the
fork, take the left path out into a barnyard. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

=-=-=-=
PRUNED
=-=-=-=

Once you enter you'll meet a bull that dislike red... and you. Swim along the
poo counter-clockwise until you reach the wooden platform. Behind it is a NES
DK
style thing where you jump over balls of poo. NES DK and poo. Does it get
better?

Once at the top high-jump onto the giant handle. Spin in the direction the
arrow
points to get Prune Juice to fall. Jump back down, and let the games begin!

Run in front of the target that's sticking out to make the bull ram into it.
Once he gets close to  you just high jump and hover over him. He'll hit the
target, and out comes a cow! Moo! Another target will appear, except this time
it's a wall. Do the same thing to get the bull stuck into the wall, and while
he's struggling to get out, Jump onto his back for a wild ride!

Once riding the bull try your best to line him up with the cow. Once you're
parallel, press B to have the bull charge. Oooo, that does it! This cow needs a
drink. After a graphic cut scene with the screaming sh-ts, get the bull to hit
the cow again. POP, goes the co-ow! Now you've gotta do the same thing over
with
another cow... hit a target, get on the bull, but this time, the cow takes 2
hits before taking a drink. Again, make the cow pop, and do it again with a
third cow, but this one takes three hits before getting the screaming sh-ts.
After the bulls falls in, follow him!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SEWAGE SUCKS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Once inside the poo-filled place, there'll be a path. Jump out and follow it.
Once there, you should find a Context Sensitive Button. Take those confidence
pills! Go back to where you fell in and dive in, swimming along the path you
came in. Grab the money for another $100! Yeh, cash. Sweet.

Oh, so your adventures with poo are over? Not quite yet. Those pooballs are
ready, and you'll be using 'em in this chapter and in Sloprano!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
GREAT BALLS OF POO
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Alright, your own set of pooballs!..... now what? Well, first thing's first,
take the poo ball and get used to pushing it around. I just circled the cabin a
few times. Take your pooball and go along the path that doesn't lead you up the
mountain or back to where the dung beetles you knocked out were. At the end
will
be a river... throw that pooball to stop a spiked enemy from stopping you! Dive
down to where the enemy is and behind him will be a flusher. Jump on top of it
and press B! Now that those spiked enemies are gone, you can head to the path
to
the right of the tornado, leading to the Bat's Tower chapter. Go on! On your
bike!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
WASPS' REVENGE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
(Done after Uga Buga chapter)

Alright, you've finished Uga Buga! Be proud, then be annoyed, cause that ugly
Queen Bee needs you again. But at least the price is right! $400!

Head back to the nasty path again... but wait! This time, you're going in! Head
along the path inside the hive to reach the end, where you better jump in! And
oh boy, is this annoying. Use the radar at the top of the screen to see where
the wasps are. Basically this is a matter of skill and I can't guide you
through
this. All I can really say is always have the Z button down, and always be
alert! Go for a group of wasps at a time, and try to avoid being stuck on one
wasp zinging around while there's a whole other group advancing on you.

Once they've all gone down, the Queen Bee will enter, telling you to move your
arse. Press A to jump out, and, oh boy! You're chased by the three wasps again.
Once more, run at all times and avoid that dirt mound. Once that's said and
done, $400 is yours!

=-=-=-=-=
MR BARREL
=-=-=-=-=
(Done after Uga Buga chapter)

Once you've got $2,110 in your pockets your ready to scale the mountain. Go to
where the stone B pad is and a little behind it and to the left is the path up
the mountain. These worms are damn annoying! Just walk very slowly and when
they
appear, high jump and hover over them. Once at the top, the barrel will trick
into going on a RIDE! Yeh!

Hug the wall while going down and smush those damned worms along the way.
Right,
Conker will wake up at night and magically have his $2,110 back. Go to the
newly
opened area, and enjoy the Spooky chapter... and finishing Windy!

********************************************************************************
Chapter 3: BARN BOYS
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=
MARVIN
=-=-=-=

Welcome to Barn Boys!.... yeah. Anyways, start out by swimming across the water
and going right. Walk up the stairs to find Jack, a fatarse b-tch on his back,
and Marvin, the cheese-seeking fatarse rodent. Stereotypes, ahoy! Talk to the
aggravated Jack and he'll tell you to mention his name to Burt and
everything'll
be "just dandy". So, go on your bike (couldn't resist) back to the two-way path
and head left. Wait for the right moment to go under the jumping blocks, until
you reach another one standing still in front of a gate. It's Burt!

Conker will mention Jack and he'll open the gate, allowing you to get the
cheese
out of the place. Whack one of them with your frying pan and pick it up, and
head back the way you came. Never pause too long or the cheese will flee from
your hands. Go up to Marvin, the fat cheese bastard, and he'll eat it and ask
for more. Well, do it! Here's a tip: Walk up to those moving blocks when
they're
paused and about to jump over you, then walk under them. That's the easiest
way.
He'll ask for 3 pieces of cheese overall before exploding, and the smell so bad
the giant block on Jack falls over. Your reward? Jack telling you there's
something good inside the barn. What a help!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
MAD PITCHFORK
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Alrighty, once the other block is off jump on top of Jack, and then up on the
bigger block. High jump and hover onto the gutters and onto the rooftop where
you'll find some chocolate, a switch, and.... money! Grab any chocolate you
need
and get that $$$. Then get onto the switch which will open the barn for you.
From here on you can just jump and hover down onto the circular floor where
there's a walking wood box, as there is a piece of chocolate right next to it.
Go left in front of the barn and into the newly opened door.

After meeting the less-then-friendly haystacks, before you know it you'll be
chased by Franky the pitchfork. Lure him so that there's a haystack behind you
and Franky in front of you, and when he dives at you you can jump and hover
over
him, making him hit the haystacks. Incase you get hit, there's chocolate to the
left and right of the door. Once all of the haystacks are gone, the paintbrush
and paint bucket will tell him that @$$-kicking was so lame he should kill
himself. But, Franky the idiot tries to hang himself despite having no neck.
Don't worry; you'll get him down... sooner or later.

Alright, now that that small obstacle is over, head to the lever in the corner
opposite of the door you came in to get the King Bee to fall out the window.
Also it'll open the locked door for you, allowing you to follow the King Bee.
Do
so!

=-=-=-=-=-=
SUNNY DAYS
=-=-=-=-=-=

Alright, it's time to help an old bee pollinate a large breasted sunflower.
What? Of course it makes sense! Talk to the King Bee and then head to where the
walking wooden box is. At the end is a path that starts out with some
chocolate.
Go down that path to meet Ms. Big Breasted Sunflower. After her assuming you
want to pollinate her, walk back to the circular area where you'll meet the
first set of ticklish bees. You'll need to find 5 groups and lead them to Ms.
Big Breasted Sunflower. After talking to the group, lead them back to her.
Alright, only 4 groups to go!

Bee group #2: Alright, continue along the path you took to the sunflower, this
time it will lead you into the water. Swim back to the beginning of the level,
where you'll meet a group of bees. Lead them to her!

Bee group #3: Go back to where you met Burt and high jump onto the rocks
surrounding the cheese field. At the other end is the group of bees. You know
what to do!

Bee group #4: Remember that switch you hit to open the barn? Go up there and in
the spot of where you got the money is the next group. You can just jump down
again, as there is chocolate right next to you.

Bee group #5: Go back to where you found bee group #4, except this time high
jump and hover on top of the roof behind the chocolate. Up there climb a ladder
and make your way to the giant bucket. You'll meet the final group there.

Once the King Bee has finished pollinating the sunflower, go on a bounce!
Bounce
3 times to be able to hover into the alcove and grab another $100. Money, Mo-
ney!

=-=-=-=-=-=
BARRY + CO
=-=-=-=-=-=

Right, time to do something about Franky. Okay, go back to that circular area
with the bouncing wooden box... it finally serves a purpose. Wait for it to
jump
and stand still in front of the ledge sticking out of the window, at which
point
you should high jump onto the box, and inside!

Once inside you'll find some bats that decide to kill you. Oh joy. Anyways,
they're pretty easily avoided, so just jump & hover from ledge to ledge, and be
careful not to jump too far. Once at the end you'll find a C.S button, with...
knives! Practice on those annoying bats. Once you've got the hang of it, turn
to
Franky. Aim for the rope, and fire. Once he's down he'll thank you and offers
some help. So why not?

=-=-=-=-=
BUFF YOU
=-=-=-=-=

Time for a battle! This guy is probably more annoying then he is hard. Get on
top of Franky (ignore how perverted this looks) and use B to dive. Study the
haystacks pattern and get behind him when he's still. Then, fire! After a while
this haystack's Haybot identity will be revealed. This guy doesn't just bounce
around, but will try to knock you off. Stay back until you find the right
opportunity, and then step forward and attack. After three hits, this guy'll
get
mad SMRPG Smithy style, and knock the three of you into the ground below.

=-=-=-=-=-=
HAYBOT WARS
=-=-=-=-=-=

Boy, these sub-chapters are getting short! Well, this one may take a while.
This
part is a bit harder, but a lot of hiding is involved, so get ready. Get the
Haybot to shoot you while you're in front of a pipe, then, dodge! The pipe will
be broken open, and just avoid the second missile.

Alright, this stupid idiot will follow you. Lure him slightly close to the pipe
that got broken open, then hide behind it. He will dumbly walk right into
the.... liquid... yes... anyways, he'll walk right into the liquid pouring out
and get electrified. At this point, it's time to attack! Follow him to the
middle, and wait for him to spin. Press A the second the red button on his back
lines up with you, and when you see the light bulb appear over your head, push
B! Conker will press the "Do Not push" button, knocking one of the Haybot's
hands off. Isn't it funny how obviously placed these buttons are? Anyways.

There will be chocolate behind the pipe next to the "Exit" sign, so I suggest
you use that pipe at least once. Two more hits and this guy's finished. But
your
"fun" isn't quite yet!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
FRYING TONIGHT
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Franky will ditch you as the water starts to rise. The pressure is on! Head
over
to the ladder behind the "Exit" pip and climb up. Use the B pad to get more
knives! You'll have to use them to hits electric wires to avoid getting the
water electrified as the water rises because... well you know why. There are
three you need to hit. The first one is behind you and down, so get that once
first. The other two are above you and to the left and right, so get those
quickly. Once they're all down dive into the water and swim across to get to
another ladder.

Jump up and onto the next B pad. Gotta hit 3 more wires! The first one is
behind
you and clear across the room and is the hardest, so do that one first. Aim
lower then you think it is and once you've knocked it down, turn up a bit.
There's a wire to the left and to the right. Get those quickly and you're in
the
clear!

Once all the wires are knocked off, jump into the water and let it rise to the
top. Swim over to the exit and head out into another room, this time without
rising water. In front of you will be a monk reading a stone. Jump onto it to
piss him off, and once he sends you flying, hover onto the ledge above to grab
any chocolate you need and MONEY! Yahoo! Then exit.

=-=-=-=-=
SLAM DUNK
=-=-=-=-=

Get ready for a (not-so) wild ride! Take the ladder up onto the ledge above and
be prepared to do some ladder climbing. I can't really help you with the wasps
except to take your time and be patient. Once at the top jump and hover to the
second chocolate piece, and press B. BAM! goes Anvil Conker.

After that take the ladder out of the bucket and make your way back to where
the
big breasted sunflower is. Now jump down into the water where there's a newly
opened cave... with a squirrel tail AND money! Grab both and exit, cause you're
done with Barn Boys!

********************************************************************************
Chapter 4: BATS TOWER
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=
MRS CATFISH
=-=-=-=-=-=

It's off to Chapter 4, full of more people desperately needing Conker's help.
Head over to a group of catfish swimming about the end of the dock, and watch
them trick Conker into helping them out. Once that's done, hop into the water
and swim along the path. One of the waterfalls contains chocolate and a
squirrel
tail, so be sure to be on the lookout for that. Once you reach the end, you'll
find the brute, a safe, and an underwater passageway next to both. Dive
underwater and enter it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
BARRY'S MATE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Swim forward a bit and up into a room with a big cog, a little cog, and a knob
in the middle. Walk up to the little cog and talk to his less-then-nice self.
Of
course, it's just another person on the list to help out. Anyways, once you
agree to help out the split-personality cog, jump onto the platform that's been
activated behind you. You're gonna need to scale the tower, and to do so
requires much rope climbing and balance beam walking. In the middle of each
balance beam is a context sensitive zone, meant to help you beat the sh*t out
of
those bats. Slowly make your way up, and at the top, hover to the switch across
from you. Use the spider web to go back, and this time go atop the ceiling of
the tower. High jump and hover from platform to platform until you reach some
money, then jump off the side (NOT the inside, jump outside) back to the brute.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
COG'S REVENGE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Time to help out the cog. Re-enter the underwater passageway, except this time
head into the newly opened tunnel. Surface to find a cog running around. Knock
it out with your frying pan, then carry it back to where the cog rests. Slip it
on... err... "just the way he likes it", and head back to where you found the
cog. Head into the bigger room next to it, and carefully get the other two.
These are trickier; the best thing to do is to chase them, then trick them by
suddenly stopping and heading the other way. You should catch both fairly
easily. Once all three cogs are back up, jump onto the circular thing next to
them and run clockwise. This will tighten the rope attached to the brute,
banishing him from sea level. Once that's done, go back to all them catfish and
lead the way to the chained down brute. Enter the safe they open.

=-=-=-=-=-=
BLAST DOORS
=-=-=-=-=-=

Ugh. Stubborn money. Great. Equip Conker with his trusty slingshot, and hit the
letters when they appear to spell out "OPEN". Careful, for every three misses a
spiked minion charges at you. Once OPEN has been spelled out, use the new
context sensitive pad to get a hardhat, fully equipped with a flashlight, and
swim into the new underwater path.

=-=-=-=-=-=
CLANGS LAIR
=-=-=-=-=-=

Right, time for my least favorite part of the game. This part won't take too
long if you know what you're doing, but it is rather confusing and can get
tough
with Conker's limited air supply. Head down the long tunnel, watching out for
alcoves on the side for more air (and to avoid the Clang), then at the bottom
grab some air. Once you're done with that, swim through the narrow green tunnel
up above. After reaching the other side, head up to the surface for a quick
breath, and a headlight recharge (you'll need em to see the tunnel colors).
Dive
back in and swim for the blue tunnel up high. Once there, go yet again to
surface level, and jump up to grab the lever. Go back from where you came, go
up
for some air and a battery recharge (better safe then sorry), and splash back
in. Go back through the green tunnel you came in from, and grab some air. Swim
through the yellow tunnel this time to end up at the floor of a mine shaft
look-
alike. Avoid the Clang, and enter the next area.

=-=-=-=-=-=
PISSTASTIC
=-=-=-=-=-=

Not only is Conker everyone's best bud, but he's also flammable. Once the two
have scurried around the room and you're back in control, head to where the two
were originally standing. Get drunk with the Context Sensitive pad, head out
into the open, and... unzip with B! Z should aim your piss better, and it'll go
further. Aim the trail at the Fire Imps, and get all 8. Once Conker has run out
of... "lubricant", there's a first-aid box nearby. There's also chocolate
around
the room, and near the medication box. Repeat as many times as you have to,
then
watch what happens.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
BRASS MONKEYS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Oh yay. Testicles of steel. Anyways, head to a corner of a room, right under a
big 'ol switch. When the "Big Big Guy" gets near you and spits out fire, that's
time to high jump onto the chain. A big trail of slop will fall onto the Boiler
Boss, causing it to go crazy for a bit (NO, not at ALL like Haybot...). That's
Your chance to knock the hell out of the Boiler Boss's nuts. Repeat four times,
each time at a different corner, to defeat the boss. If the guy just won't come
down to you, lure it by gets close to it, then run for a corner. There will be
two balls left over; roll one onto the switch, and the other down the hallway
with the spiked minions. Exit to find the catfish waiting for you.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
BULLFISHS REVENGE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Argh, a lousy $10 for all of that?! I don't think so! While Conker argues with
the catfish, the brute is slowly eating away at it's leash. This shouldn't be
too tough, unless you have very low chocolate. Just swim underwater to go
faster, and always make sure there's a catfish between you and the brute. Swim
back to the dock to watch the cut scene, and the brute crash into the wall. Ah,
finally, a decent reward... Jump onto the brute and high jump into the alcove
to
get a scorching $300! Alright, you're done with this dump. Off to Sloprano.

********************************************************************************
Chapter 5: SLOPRANO
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
CORN OFF THE COB
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

While arguably one of the shorter chapter in the game with four sub-chapters,
and one and a half of them being a boss battle, this chapter is no less fun.
You
must go back to Windy once done with Barn Boys to do this and get the pooballs.
Once you have them, drag one up the path BEHIND the Poo Cabin, the path that
doesn't go all the way up. At the end of the path, dump the poo ball onto the
sleeping giant dung beetle. If you don't make it because of other dung beetles
or falling off, go back down and try again. Once the oversized dung beetle has
exploded, go back to where you got your first poo ball and carefully drag it
along the other path. Once it's right in front of the big hole at the top of
the
mountain, high jump onto the pooball, then on top of the mountain to get some
money. Push the pooball into the giant hole, then climb back down to the foot
of
the mountain, and finally enter the new hole inside.

After you hear the story of the dung beetles, walk up to the piece of sweet
corn, and do as the mysterious voice tells you to. Once the time is right, hit
the piece of sweet corn and carry it to the little piece of land sticking out
to
throw it in. Careful, though, because randomly a giant hand will come out of
the
hole in the ground and swat at you. Continue to each area with sweet corn, each
time with one more piece to catch, and while walking from area to area lookout
of falling pieces of poo. At one point, you'll reach what seems to be an
extremely difficult jump; get a running start, jump, then hover as late as
possible. Ignore the C.S pads for now, then once you throw in the sixth piece
of
poo, get ready for a few laugh-out-loud moments.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SWEET MELODY
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Once verse one has been sung, he'll start hurling poo balls at you. Avoid them
as carefully as possible, while at the same time standing near the C.S pad.
Load
up on chocolate if you need to. Once he starts his long note, step onto the C.S
pad, and throw the TP into his open mouth! Once he sings the second verse and
your C.S pad is covered, run over to the nearest one, which is where two pieces
of sweet corn used to reside. Again, once he starts singing, use the C.S pad to
throw TP in his mouth. If incase you miss, he'll pop out in a different place,
so turn quickly and throw accurately. Once he's gobbled up two more pieces,
he'll start to sing (and Conker will have a line or two!) the third verse. Jump
the big gap, and use the final C.S pad at the right time. He'll go quite fast
now, so be as accurate as you possibly can, without taking too much time. After
three final rolls, the Great Mighty Poo will sing one last high note to break
some glass. That's your cue to finish him off.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
U-BEND BLUES
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

This piece of poo is almost finished. Cross the huge gap and make your way to
the newly opened alcove near where you started. Careful, though, this
persistent
monster will still throw poo balls at you all the while. Once in the
once-glass-
covered alcove, grab the money and high jump onto the flusher. Witness the
Great
Mighty Poo do a Wicked Witch of the West parody, and head to where he once
resided. If you'll look carefully, you'll see little ledges sticking out, and
on
the bottom one an opening. Enter it.

Grab the squirrel tail, and hop into the water. This next part can be
frustrating if  not done right, so do it carefully. Grab some air, and head
into
the opening. There are many blades spinning around, and you'll need to get by
them. Just swim past them when the time is right, which is easier said then
done. Stay near the sides and start swimming a bit early, as Conker is slower
than the blades. Grab air when necessary (which is also near the sides), take
your time, and you should do it without _too_ much trouble. At the end, grab
some air and head up to the surface.

Climb the chain rope up, and at the top is some trouble. There are little
blades
heading counter-clockwise. Jump off inbetween two blades, and run in the
direction they are. If a blade catches up to you, jump and hover, then land
inbetween two blades. Remember, even the slightest touch of them can slice you.
Jump to the ladder when you see it, and climb up out and of the pipe.

=-=-=-=-=
THE BLUFF
=-=-=-=-=

You're gonna need $1,000 for this part, and you know the time is right when a
guard is crapping behind a rock. Convince the other one that you're an
elephant,
pay him the price (only to have it return to you!), and enter Uga Buga.

********************************************************************************
Chapter 6: UGA BUGA
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
DRUNKEN GITS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Make your way to the platform with dinosaurs stomping around the perimeter of a
pyramid-like structure, and walk around the base of it to an opening on the
other side. Always be sure to look around corner for dinosaurs, and in case of
running into one, just walk into the wall of the pyramid and they should ignore
you. Also, you can try to hover over them like with the bull. And If that
doesn't work, just run like mad in the other direction. Once up a level, do as
you did before and make your way to the other side of the wall. This time it's
tougher, because right away two dinosaurs are right next to you. Once at the
top, grab the money and high jump onto the strange stone face thing. Walk to
the
center of it, and use Anvil Conker three times to knock yourself down to the
main part of the chapter.

Once down, hop back up onto the stone face and use Anvil Conker one last time
to
open a door blocking you off from a cave you'll be needing to go through. Then,
walk into the area outside the Rock Solid dance club where are the rocks are
sleeping. To avoid waking them up, walk around the perimeter, and once on
the other side where the bouncer stands, grab the big boulder and roll it back
to where you started. Walk through the now opened cave, and roll the boulder
into another where two Uga Bugas are standing. Three birds with one stone! Go
down the path to enter the new area.

=-=-=-=-=
SACRIFICE
=-=-=-=-=

Go down either of the two paths and head under the giant dinosaur head. You
should see two paths next to lava pools. Take the one on the right and enter
the
door. Careful on your way, because the lava pools like to shoot out some of
themselves. Once on the other side, walk along the path and jump and hover over
the Uga Bugas. Once at the fork near the beginning, take the one on the right
to
stand in front of a giant egg. Use the monk in front of it to hop on top of it,
then use the C.S zone to hatch the egg. Guide your new baby dinosaur down the
path, all the while letting it eat Uga Bugas. Careful, though, you do have to
go
a bit slower or else the baby dinosaur will get lost. At the end, you'll find
the door on the other side. Enter it, and lead the dinosaur down the path
(again, careful about the lava balls). Lead him to the area with four Uga Bugas
worshiping the giant dinosaur, and let yours feast on them. Meanwhile, you
should whip out your slingshot on the B pad and shoot it up and to the right
(opposite side of giant dinosaur). This will raise the giant platform. Once the
dinosaur finished eating all the Uga Bugas, lead it up onto the floor directly
underneath the risen platform. Once it's up there, quickly run down and use the
slingshot on the switch on the other side to lower the platform. This shall not
only have a pretty messy result, but also please the big dinosaur. Once it's
tongue rolls out, a monk will come out. Make use of it.

=-=-=-=
PHLEGM
=-=-=-=

Hop onto the monk and hover on top of the dinosaurs head. Run over the small
bump to find a bunch of chocolate, and some money. Grab it, then run all the
way
to the end to find a squirrel tail. Head back up over the bump, because it's
time to deal with the nostrils. Stand inbetween the two, and wait for right
after green smoke finishes emerging out. Hop into one, and use the C.S zone to
put in some pepper. Do the same for the other to get rid of all that nasty
phlegm on the dinosaur's tongue. Run up the tongue and into its mouth. Once
inside, you should take the easy path on the right, where all you have to do is
hop over two gaps. Be warned, though, later on you'll have to take the hard
way.
Once at the end, carefully avoid the tonsil (how many does this thing have?),
and come out of the other side to find a dead Uga Buga. Conker will grab its
fur
helmet thingy, then you're left to play. Head back to the path you came in
from,
and watch Conker being greeted.

=-=-=-=
WORSHIP
=-=-=-=

While the Uga Bugas' job is to "Falla squa-fetchy", yours is to guide them back
to the Rock Solid dance club. These guys are actually dumber the dinosaur, so
be
sure to go slowly. When climbing up the hill, make sure to go against the wall
or else one of them is bound to fall. Once there, take the first hit and the
rest will follow. Your new friends will do all the work, so just run around and
try to fill in their gaps. Once all the rocks are gone, talk to the bouncer and
witness quite a funny cut scene, then finally enter the Rock Solid dance club.

=-=-=-=-=-=
ROCK SOLID
=-=-=-=-=-=

This sub-chapter is, personally, one of my favorite parts of any game on the
N64. Not only that, but it is a highly creative and challenging sub-chapter.
The
music is never tiring, and it's fun to just watch Conker dance and all the
amazing light effects. After a few minutes of fun, it's time to get to work.
Head on over to the bar where three kids are standing (you'll meet up with them
later), then go behind the table to find a sleeping bartender. Roll him back up
to where you entered, and onto a little switch to open up a door. Once it's
there, head back to the bar area, except this time to the B pad on the other
side, much like in Pisstastic. That's right, Conker is about to get drunk. Once
he's loaded, head out into the area where the rocks are dancing. Wait until one
of them is standing in front of the open cave, then... unload! Make sure to
hold
down Z for extra pressure. Never let up, or the rock will come and beat the
sheet out of you. Once he's in the cave, he'll end up where other rocks are
dancing. Sober up with a first aid kit on the table inbetween the entry and the
bar. Remember, timing is important, and you can try as many times as you need.
Go into the cave to end up above it, and next to your rock. Roll it along the
path, and you'll soon discover there are dancers coming in and out of alcoves.
Obviously, you should never move the rock when she's in, as the dancer will
most
likely knock you and the rock back down to the floor with the rest. However, on
the second one, you have to go in front. Go quickly, because you'll need
momentum to go up the slight hill onto the other switch. Hop down and get drunk
again, then aim at the rocks in front of the other two. These guys are a bit
tougher, as women dancers might get in your way. Once the last two are in, run
into either cave to land on some money. Once you've gotten it, head out of Rock
Solid... and into another task.

=-=-=-=-=
BOMB RUN
=-=-=-=-=

After the Boss assigns you to get rid of the Uga Bugas in the area, you're left
with a big bomb in your hands. Yippie. You've got 90 seconds to put the bomb in
place, so you better hurry up. Run around the perimeter of the area outside the
dance club, then weave through the Uga Bugas. Go down either hill and hop off
near the bottom. Go into the tongue, and this time you'll have to take the left
side once in. After going left, go right then left once more (all the while
avoiding the tonsils), then exit the mouth area. Go around the dead Uga Buga at
the other side, and drop the bomb. After the lava rises, hop from rock to rock
until you reach the exit.

=-=-=-=
MUGGED
=-=-=-=

After the kids from the dance club challenge you to a race for your money,
enter
the cave and hop onto the board. The way to get your money back is to catch up
to each of the kids and to knock them with a frying pan. This is much easier
said then done, though. Press A to jump, B to swing your frying pan, and up on
the control stick to speed up. There's no real way to walk you through this,
but
these tips might help you a bit:

- When you reach the large circular lava hole, jump over it, unless you want to
ram straight into it.
- When you reach the narrow cave area, try to slow down a bit (or not, if
you're
feeling daring), and make sure you go to the right rather then the left.
- The dinosaurs are very easy when only one to none of their legs are on
screen.
When you face all of them, slow down and navigate yourself inbetween the legs.
- After two Uga Bugas go down, a part of the course will change paths, and you
won't be allowed access to the finish until you get the third and final Uga
Buga
kid.

Once all three are down, line yourself up with the ramp at the beginning, and
jump when you reach the end to grab the money and leave the course.

=-=-=-=-=-=
RAPTOR FOOD
=-=-=-=-=-=

Just when you think you've ridden your way back to Windy, you can think again.
When the cut scene ends, lead Conker in front of a big door where two other Uga
Bugas stand. Immediately after this cut scene, run as fast as you can to the
center of the ground to find a B pad. If Fangy catches up to you, use a series
of high jumps and hovers to avoid him. Make sure you're facing Fangy, then
press
B to hypnotize him and get him in your control. When controlling Fangy, B and Z
are do the same things, so you may use either one. I find Z to be easier. When
pressing forward and B/Z, Fangy will leap forward and bite. When just pressing
B/Z, Fangy will bite. A will cause him to jump. When an Uga Buga is knocked
down, you can just run into it to grab a hold of it in your mouth. B/Z also
eats
an Uga Buga. There are two ways to kill the Uga Bugas: leap and bite at them
and
knock them off the edge, or eat them. The first one is easier when one of them
is near the edge. After 6 defenseless Uga Bugas go down, 6 more with clubs will
come out.

These ones can knock you down, so be careful. If incase you do get knocked
down,
run back to the B pad to hypnotize Fangy again. When you hear the chime, press
B, then A to get back on Fangy. When you fall, all 6 will come back, regardless
of how many you killed before being knocked down. After you've knocked down
that
bunch, yet another will come out. These ones can throw their weapon, but ignore
Conker when he said it'd be tricky. This makes it hardly any tougher. Avoid a
lone chomp when many are nearby, however, as the spears may hit you, and steer
clear of any Uga Bugas when chomping down one (it takes Fangy three or four
seconds). After those go down, yet ANOTHER bunch comes out. This one consists
of
three club-holding Uga Bugas and three ones holding spears. Just do what you've
done the whole time, and you'll finish this sub-chapter pronto.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
BUGA THE KNUT
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

This guy is a lot more bark then bite, especially when it comes to his...
err...
bone. Load up on chocolate around the edge of the ground, then charge at Buga.
He should butt stomp the ground, causing it to lift a little and spread out.
Jump over the small earthquake and edge closer to Buga's front. When he lifts
his bone, wait a second or two before pressing Z (making sure you're half an
inch away from him) and biting his crotch. While he's struggling with his loin
cloth, run around to his back. When you see the light bulb (ting!), press B to
take a big bite out of his big butt. The guy never really does get any harder,
so there's not much more to type except that you should repeat twice more. If
you get knocked off, run away and let Fangy catch up to you, THEN grab some
chocolate. After three times, Buga's teeny willy will be revealed, Conker will
say goodbye to Fangy, and Jugga and her jugs will have a heart-filled talk with
Conker. Though you may not get the big babes, follow the cash down the path and
back out to above where you met the guards. Follow the path to the end, and hop
off to land in the pool you entered after the Great Mighty Poo. Exit that area
and hop down where the GMP fell to end back up at Poo Cabin. Wahay, you just
finished the second longest chapter in BFD!

********************************************************************************
Chapter 7: SPOOKY
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=
MR DEATH
=-=-=-=-=

Don't be fooled by other games that lie, this chapter is TRULY spooky. With
creepy sound effects and the beginning of night-time, this one's sure to send a
shiver down your back. After being trapped, walk along the shoulder-high water
and out into a small lake. Swim across it to find Gregg trying to kill some
catfish. Once he finishes speaking to himself, continue walking along the
wooden
plank and hop into the water at the end. Go into the mineshaft, then grab the
lever to open the gates to the castle. Walk back out to see you are where you
started. Head back to Gregg for him to give you the shotgun. Remember,
headshots! Walk into the graveyard and immediately hop atop a tombstone. Take
out your shotgun and hold down R for a semi-first person view. Then hold down Z
to get a nice laser target going. Let go of Z to fire. Once all the zombies in
the area are dead (again), head along the graveyard and hop atop another
tombstone. Continue this until twelve zombies have gone down, head on over to
Gregg and he'll open another gate for you. Once on the other side, head up the
trail while hopping over the zombie worms. These ones are a bit easier to
dodge, for me anyways. Near the end there are two, so be on the lookout for
that. Enter the mansion to start a looooong cut scene.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
COUNT BATULA
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Pray, listen up. Conker's great, great, great, great, great grandfather has
turned you into a bat, and has given you the task of fetching villagers. Press
A
to take off and hold B to fly, then rotate the control stick to move around.
Pressing Z will cause Conker to poop. Wander around through the house and poop
on the villagers (while avoiding their spears) to knock them out briefly. They
will turn red and your radar will go wild when one is near you. Drop and grab
them when they're knocked out, and return them to the grinder. The best places
are the library and the entrance room, because the graveyard area has too many
villagers. Conker will also make a sound of excitement when some poop has hit a
villager, so don't drop unless you hear it. Count Batula's appetite will prove
to be too great after seven villagers and he will plummet into the grinder.
Conker will return back to normal... but zombies will raid the house.
Wonderful.

=-=-=-=
ZOMBIES
=-=-=-=

Make sure you have 5-6 pieces of chocolate and an extra pair of pants, because
this is one helluva tough and scary sub-chapter. Make your way back to the
beginning of the house (die, if you must), and hop atop the window on the side
with the barrel. Kill the zombie that gets close to you, then proceed down the
left side of the staircase. Remember to always take your time, and incase a
zombie gets too close, put away your gun and run for it (or strafe backwards
with C down). It's always best to stay in first person mode with your Z button
held down, and to walk around with the C buttons. Make your way into the path
to
the left of the staircase and turn to enter the library. Careful, because there
are three zombies there right next to each other. Dispose of them, then head up
the ramp and around the room. Hop atop the shelves to reach the last one with a
C.S zone. Use the feather bow to kill the bats that near you in the room.
Unlike
the zombies, the bats won't come back. When you're done, go back and around the
rest of the room to enter the area above the grinder. There are no zombies
here,
so just make your way around the left side to reach the area above the dining
room. Careful, as soon as you enter there are two zombies, so try to  get them
from the safety of the grinding room. Once you're done with those two, walk
along the narrow path and stop at the B pad. There are more bats, but this time
you don't need to turn to get them. They all come from the same two corners in
front of you. This time there are 3 of them, and before there were four.
Continue along the planks to find a key at the end. This is were killing all
the
zombies comes in handy, because you have to backtrack to the door at the front
of the castle. Go back the exact way you came, because if you encounter a
zombie
you can't pull out your gun.

Now it's time to go down the path on the right side of the staircase. Pull out
your gun and get ready, because there are three zombies in the area before the
path with the red carpet (along with several spider webs). Once they're gone,
go
down the rest of the path with the red carpet and get rid of the zombie there.
Head into the dining room after that. Here there's a zombie to get rid of right
away so be prepared for him. Afterwards, there are three zombies to take care
of, then one more around the table. Don't underestimate this room! Head up the
half stairs and across the metallic path that rose when you inserted the key.
You'll enter a graveyard-like area full of zombies, so really take your time
here. You'll need to go around the bushes and into the center of the graveyard
to find the key, so the more zombies you get, the better. Make your way around
to find the first hole in the bushes. Careful, because there's a zombie right
around it. Continue going around and find the other hole (the center of the
graveyard). There are three zombies guarding the key, so get rid of them, grab
the key, and head back the way you came as fast as you can. Sometimes, zombies
will return, so just run and never stop, because they will occasionally pause.
Returning the second key will cause a ladder to rise in the grinding room.

You should have at least three pieces of chocolate left by now, or else you
have
to be EXTREMELY careful. Run up the big stairway and into the path on the
right,
the hop onto the small piece of wood sticking out. High jump and hover to the
other piece of wood sticking out, then hop onto the platform. Climb up the
ladder a few steps ahead and grab the three pieces of chocolate on top and to
the left. This is the only chocolate in the house, and it doesn't return, so
keep that in mind. After you've loaded up, hover over to the platform on the
right of the top of the ladder and walk to the end. At the end, make sure you
really DO high jump to get to the platform above it, then high jump again to
open two doors. Make your way back to the front room, then go to the corner to
the right of it, where a door now opened. Make sure to get rid of the zombie,
too. Walk across the plank when you reach the other side of the door (you end
up
in the grinding room), and grab the key. Run back to the door to insert the
third and final key into the slot. Be proud, be VERY proud... you just finished
the scariest sub-chapter in the game.

=-=-=-=-=
MR BARREL
=-=-=-=-=

What, the same name for two sub-chapters? Anyways. Run into the barrel, then
hop
upon it, and ride your way out of the castle. Much like in Windy, you'll have
to
ride over the worms and make your way to the bottom. However, don't press
forward on the control stick, because you have no wall to press against. Once
at
the bottom, work your way out of the graveyard and into the water. Go up the
waterfall you couldn't go up before to end up in... the area you started in?
Hey! Imagine that. Grab the money and go through the cave, then look up at the
start of the walkthrough, because I'm too lazy to repeat what to do.

********************************************************************************
Chapter 8: IT'S WAR!
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=
IT'S WAR
=-=-=-=-=

Once the poorly shot video of the sergeant asking you to join the army is over,
lead Conker down the Naughty path and stop where you see barb wire. Hop over it
and take one last look at Windy, because you're not coming back for a while.
Enter the door.

=-=-=-=-=-=
POWER'S OFF
=-=-=-=-=-=

Though your first order of business may look like removing the plane, it's
actually to return power to the base. Hop into the water where you'll find an
eel swimming around. There are also three semi-circles attached to the floor of
the water that give the power. The eel is the only one with power, and since he
likes to follow you, guide him through all three of the rings. After all three
are powered up, the eel will die and the power will return... along with a B
pad. Hop back out of the water and load up on chocolate. NOW it's time to clear
the way.

=-=
TNT
=-=

Move the steel crate in front of the muddy ramp near the entrance. Then, head
up
the ramp and along the path to find a bathroom at the end. Knock on it with B
to
see a cut scene of a strange man with TNT attached to his back. He'll ask you
to
give him a little push, as well. Run around to his back and start pushing him
forward and down the ramp. He should be stopped by the crate. Now you can lead
him two ways: the left, and the right. The right is a lot easier, if you know
what you're doing.

RIGHT: If you don't see two big boxes full of explosives, you know you're going
down the path on the right. The path seems relatively empty at first, but rest
assured it's full of spider mines. There are eight of them in total, and
they're
easy to dodge if you know where they are. The first two are near the edge
(opposite of the wall), so hug the wall to avoid them. The next two are the
exact opposite, so once you pass the first two, head back to the outer part of
the path. Once you pass those two, there will be one near the edge almost
immediately after the fourth, so make a sharp turn to avoid that one. The last
three are near each other, all positioned on opposite edges. The first is on
edge, then the wall, then the edge again. Weave through them, then continue to
the end of the path. Drop off your doomed purple guy there, then head back to
the B pad. Aim at your purple TNT man (and a little bit higher), then fire.
He'll explode along with half the plane. Go back up the ramp and knock on the
door again to get another purple TNT man. This time, take him along the left
path.

LEFT: The left path is pretty much all about pattern and timing. Wait until one
of the boxes with explosives is about to jump forward (he'll be on the left),
then as soon as he jumps, start pushing forward (make sure you're on the left
too). The boxes will be faster then you, so you should make it without too many
problems. The second obstacle will be a rising and falling crate. Just wait
until it falls, then start pushing against it. When it rises, you'll pass it
before it even gets all the way up. The last two obstacles are the same as the
first two, except slightly closer to each other, so use the same strategy to
get
the second man to the end of the path. Again, run back to the B pad and shoot
the doomed guy, totally destroying the plane.

Walk down the steps leading to the water, and talk to the sergeant.

=-=-=-=-=-=
THE ASSAULT
=-=-=-=-=-=

Witness the lengthy cut scene similar to Saving Private Ryan, then take
control.
Head up and right, around the fence, and duck behind the metal jack. When the
Tediz reload, head across the open space to another metal jack. Follow the
squirrels around the fence on the left-hand side of the beach and dodge behind
the metal jack. Head across yet another open space and dodge behind another-
you
guessed it- metal jack. Once the bullets clear up, run straight ahead to a door
and a lone squirrel. After the cut scene, press B to get equipped, then grab
any
chocolate you need nearby. Like in spooky, you can use R to go into first
person
mode... except that also gives you a small target that looks like a +. Press Z
to fire, and A to reload (I never really do that, though). Shoot away at the
lock on the door, then enter.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SOLE SURVIVOR
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After the cut scene, go into first person mode and strafe to the right (C
buttons). Prepare for your first Tediz attack! Shoot away at them. A shot to
the
head will kill them instantly, though several shots to the body also gets rid
of
them. After about 5 Tediz go down, the door in front of you will open. Head
down
the path. Put away your guns, then hold down Z and move forward to crawl under
the lasers. For the other two you can just run under the higher parts of the
laser. Behind the last box before the turn will be a piece of chocolate. Get
into first person mode with your gun after turning, because a Tediz will attack
after you take a few steps forward. Grab the chocolate if you need to, then
continue forward. After a few more steps, two Tediz will emerge behind some
boxes. Again, chocolate will be provided. Around the corner is another Tediz.
After taking it out, don't put away your guns yet. Take a few steps towards the
lasers and a Tediz will hop onto a box in front of them. Take him out, THEN put
away your guns and step in front of the group of lasers. High jump then hover,
and wait for the right moment to go through the hole. After you get through,
take out your guns because two or three Tediz will attack. Down the hall will
be
a few squares on the ceiling. When you step close to them, Tediz will pop out.
Always be on the lookout for them because you'll be seeing many. This time, two
will pop out. Kill them then continue down. As soon as you step near the first
laser, a Tediz will emerge onto the box ahead. Kill it, then go under the
higher
parts of the laser like you did earlier. Careful, though, because right after
them is a ceiling grate. They should pop out before you run under the second
laser. A few steps forward will be another grate holding two Tediz. When
they're
dead, run forward a bit and there'll be another Tediz behind the box. Kill him,
then grab any chocolate you may need. Head towards the elevator to watch the
cut
scene with a funny ending.

Put away your guns and hop over the two lasers, then instantly take your guns
out again. Take two or three steps forward, then two Tediz will attack: one
from
behind the box, and another from a ceiling grate. Take out both and jump over
the last laser. Around the corner are two Tediz that should strike before you
even turn. If you need it, grab the chocolate behind the fire barrel, then face
the next hallway. Here there are robots with flamethrowers. When you near them,
they'll start shooting straight ahead. They aren't that big a deal, just wait
for them to pause and run ahead (in first person, of course). As you step
between the first and second flamethrower robots, two Tediz will emerge. One
will runs towards you, and the other will hop on the box. Around the corner are
FOUR Tediz, so be careful after the fourth flamethrower. When you turn the
corner, you'll be greeted by more lasers. Goody. Watch out for the ceiling
grate
in front of it, which holds a lone Tediz. Go through the laser traps (I'm sure
you can figure it out), then step in front of another grate holding one Tediz.
Careful, though, because the metal crate is home to two Tediz that will emerge
only when you get close. Around the corner are three flamethrowers and some
lasers. After the third one, make SURE you're against the left wall when
rounding the corner, because SIX Tediz will attack. Lucky for you, they all
come
in a straight line, so you can shoot in pretty much the same spot the whole
time. After that, a ceiling grate will spit out a Tediz. Continue down for
another lone-Tediz ceiling grate in front of some tricky looking lasers.
Dispose
of it, then face the lasers. High jump then hover over the first two, then
carefully walk under the remaining ones. There will also be chocolate, should
you need it.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
CASUALTY DEPT.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

WHEW! You're finally done with that long sub-chapter. Enter the small hospital
room, which is a very easy one at that. Once the cut scene is over, you don't
even have to MOVE. Just get into first person mode, and shoot the hell out of
the Tediz doctors. They'll sneak around the tables, as well, but they'll be too
far to really do any damage. When you get rid of the first bunch, more will
emerge from ceiling grates, and they shouldn't be a pain at all. The last one
is
a giant doctor, but he won't be that tough either. Once the barrage of doctors
is done, head over to the other side of the room to find a squirrel. He'll ask
you to pull a switch to set him free, but regardless of which one you pull,
he'll be fried. Once he fries, pull the other one to open the door... and enter
a VERY annoying room.

Okay, dodge in front of the stack of boxes, and run from stack to stack when he
reloads. When you reach the last one,  wait for him to reload, then run across
the room and behind him, then stand behind a metal pipe. Wait for a few seconds
before he reloads, then jump onto the rope. Climb as very little as you
possibly
can, then jump up. Dodge behind the metal pipe, and wait for him to reload.
Then, quickly run to the end to find a B pad and get a bazooka. Shoot the
Tediz,
hop down, grab some chocolate, and prepare for some hairy moments.

Alright, a barrage of Tediz will pop out of both sides of the room and attack
you. Every time you wipe out a bunch, less and less will come out, but there is
always pressure. Inbetween attacks, jump out of the turret (A) and grab
chocolate, then hop back in. Always get rid of Tediz that are close, then work
your way back. This part requires a LOT of skill, so this may take you a while.
Those tips above are pretty much all I can really give you, so good luck. When
you're done, the door will open. Jump out and grab some chocolate. Then head
down the path and out the door. Good job! That was one of the toughest parts of
the war (Even though it's quite easy when mastered)! Say, is that the master
plan on the wall?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
SAVING PRIVATE RODENT
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After watching your friend Rodent being attacked, get ready for a surprise
assault. Take your time and aim at the general, as he is the most dangerous and
they won't see you until you fire. After the general goes down, strafe left and
take out the remaining Tediz. They have better guns then the average Tediz, so
be quick. After Rodent and Conker do some catching up, it's time to head down
the path full of spider mines and bombers. When a bomb falls, it'll cast a
shadow, so just jump in the other direction and you'll be fine. When you see a
spider mine, quickly run behind Rodent's bulletproof clothing and you'll be
fine
again. When you reach the other side, Rodent and you will split up. Run down
the
path he takes, then turn right along the dock and hop into a small purple boat
with a B pad built into it. Conker will take out a bazooka. Use it to shoot all
four of the fireball-looking things on the lock on the giant door to open it.
Chances are, the Tediz that land will kill you before you reach the door. No
worries, when you reappear, the door will still be opened, so just run to it
quickly with Rodent (while dodging the Tediz that will chase you), then enter
the next area.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
CHEMICAL WARFARE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After you enter the Tediz-less area, hop into the class 22 tank. Its controls
are pretty simple; Z to shoot, C left and C right to rotate the turret gun, A
to
hop out, and R to go into first person. Shoot the small door to the left of the
big one, then hop out of the tank and go in. This room has three acid pools,
and
three spider mines. Jump over the acid pool, then when you reach the other
side,
hover back and land where you jumped. The spider mine should just run into the
pool and leave you harmless. Once you reach the end, high jump to grab onto the
lever to open the door outside... and start acid to overflow. Run as fast as
you
can back to where you entered, and hover as little as possible over the pools
since it slows Conker down. Rather then using the ladder, just high jump at the
end and run out the door to avoid being drowned in acid. Hop back into the tank
and through the door to enter the tower.

=-=-=-=-=
THE TOWER
=-=-=-=-=

Though at first the tower may seem intimidating, it's really not that big a
deal. The objective is to shoot out all four legs of the tower, but giant metal
plates cover certain areas, making you have to circle the whole thing. However,
some bridges need lowering, and to do so requires to get out of the tank. Right
away, go into first person mode and shoot out the first leg. Wait for the giant
light to be facing away from you, and hop out. Hover over to the other island,
and jump onto the other side. Quickly run up the bridge and use the B pad to
unleash Anvil Conker and lower the bridge. Hop back into the tank and run over
the Tediz, then cross the other bridge and go across the narrow island while
smushing three other Tediz. When you reach the other bridge that needs
lowering,
go into first person and knock out the second leg. Again, wait for the light to
face away, and hop out and hover to the other island. Using Anvil Conker yet
again and hop back into the tank. The next bunch of Tediz may be a bit
trickier,
but keep trying and you'll eventually smush them. Cross the odd shaped bridge
and meet the last one you'll need to lower. Shoot out the third leg, wait for
the light, and hop out. This time, there are three Tediz behind the bridge, so
be quick about getting to the B pad and hopping back into the tank. Smush all
the Tediz, including one behind you, cross the bridge, shoot out the last leg,
and hop into the new hole.

=-=-=-=-=-=
LITTLE GIRL
=-=-=-=-=-=

Head down the metallic platform and into the center of the ground to find a
little girl crying. After talking to her, go to the giant stone carving where
you can see submarines shooting missiles. After one has been shot, head back
out
and onto the platform sticking out with a B pad. Use the bazooka to shoot at
the
submarines. Careful, though, because of the constant waves you might miss. If a
submarine shoots out a missile, immediately track it and shoot it. You wouldn't
want it to hit you, would you? Once three subs are destroyed at this area, head
to the next one with 6 waiting to be destroyed. This time, though, there will
be
two at a time, meaning more frequent missiles coming your way. Once that lot
has
been taken care of, go to the last station with VERY frequent attacks and two
subs at a time. You'll need to get very good shots here, or else consider
yourself toast. There are eight at this station, and when they're taken care
of,
go back to the little girl to find out her shocking truth.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THE EXPERIMENT
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Rodent will warn Conker just a bit too late, and the experiment will come out
and battle you. Quickly run and hop into the tank and ride into one of those
stone carvings, where you'll be safe. Though the experiment's weapons may be
impressive, they're nothing due to the fact that they need to reload. You
advantage here is that your turret can face other direction then the tank. Face
it towards the experiment, and wait for it to reload. Then, press forward (not
side, forward, because the tank is facing a different direction) and when
you're
out of safety, fire, then go back in. That should get rid of one of the
weapons.
Do the same to the other. When the giant experiment charges, quickly get out of
the stone carving and go into first person. Shoot the girl to knock her off,
then when the giant experiment bends over to pick her up, shoot a small button
that pops open in the back of the experiment. If you do this right, you'll
barely have to move from your safety. Head back into the carving and listen to
the girl rant about her plasma thingies. Since these don't reload, head to one
side of the carving for it to shoot there, then quickly head out the other and
fire. Do this twice, then repeat the above. Now the girl will use missiles;
again, wait for her to reload then fire the hell outta one of them. After the
button has been hit a third time, the little girl will use spider mines to
destroy your tank and knock Rodent out. Afterwards, she'll use a self-destruct
button. That's right, buddy, you've got 4:30 minutes (that's 270 seconds) to
get
the hell out of here. Start running.

=-=-=-=-=
COUNTDOWN
=-=-=-=-=

Hop down the hole right in front of you to end up in a shaky hallway full of
lasers and a few Tediz. Use the following to get by the lasers:

LASERS 1: Stay to the left and high jump, then immediately hover over the
lasers.

LASERS 2: Crawl under all four of them. The black line on the floor should be
your route.

LASERS 3: Stay on the left and hover at an angle to end up on the right side.

LASERS 4: Jump onto the box, then hop and hover between the hole in the lasers.
Around the corner are two Tediz, so be careful.

LASERS 5: Hop onto the box (with your guns in your pockets) and quickly crawl
between them. Around the corner is another Tediz.

LASERS 6: A bit tough to see, but jump onto the box and crawl under the first
laser, then jump at the edge of the box and hover over the last one.

LASERS 7: Oh, this is a tough one! How about we crawl under them?

You'll now lose your guns. Go to the other side, where blue lasers will
suddenly
block off the exit. Press B to take out a bazooka, and kill the Tediz that
emerge from the room. There are only three of them, so no biggie. Now it's time
for the utterly overrated BEACH.

Okay, grab chocolate to the left, and head down the path. Kill the first Tediz
with your bazooka- this will be the only one you will. Many guides have given
insanely complex ways to kill all the Tediz and THEN go to the boat. But to
that, I say: pfffft. All you have to do is go in a zigzag direction while
jumping like mad, and you should be better off. It may take you three or four
tries, but it's a LOT better then all that crazy nonsense about killing all the
Tediz. Once at the boat, enjoy the final sub-chapter... if you can even
consider
it to be one.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
PEACE AT LAST
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The war's over, you survived, and the Tediz stronghold has exploded.
Congratulations!

********************************************************************************
CHAPTER 9: THE HEIST
********************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THE WINDMILL'S DEAD
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After leaving the navy base and re-entering Windy, look around and you should
notice quite a lot of damage. Run towards Mrs. Bee's hive destroyed (along with
herself), and cross the bridge. Go through the giant piece of wood and up the
hill (There won't be any worms this time). At the top, Conker will see the
ruined windmill and talk to Rodent. Once he leaves, jump down the hole ahead
and
go through the cave to enter an area you couldn't reach earlier. Walk around
the
side of the building and step in front of the Boss. He'll assign you to rob the
Feral Reserve Bank, along with Berri. Get in that skin tight leather and take
out your guns, because a Matrix spoof is in order.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
ENTER THE VERTEX
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

After an awesome introduction full of guns, run down in front of the pillar. In
this sub-chapter, you must advance down the hallway going from pillar to
pillar,
using the B pads in front of each one to do a deadly jump and shoot all the
guards. The jump will be on slow motion, and there'll be a blue target. Use Z
to
fire, and the analog stick to move around the target. When the person turns
red,
that's when you know that if you shoot you'll hit him. You have to do it right,
though, because there's no chocolate in this bank. When in the air, Berri will
take hits for you. The number of guards at each pillar will increase, so near
the last few, the best time to jump is when you hear a loud shot of "Regroup!".
If you wait too long, though, the guards will shoot out the pillar and leave
you
defenseless. After about 5 pillars, you'll reach the elevator and ride up to
the
cash.

=-=-=-=-=
THE VAULT
=-=-=-=-=

It's time for the final sub-chapter of the game. I won't spoil the cut scene,
so let's just get down to the boss strategy. After watching the dramatic cut
scene, jump onto the switch attached to the big platform to open an airlock and
an alcove. Hop into the alcove to get into a space suit, where you'll be able
to fight the alien. After he knocks Berri into space, get used to your
controls.

A = Jump
Hold down A = Hover for a few seconds
B = Punch
Z = Shield

The alien has two attacks; leaning back then head-butting you, and spinning
around his tail. He'll do the latter more often then the head-butt. When he
head-butts you, just press Z to shield yourself with your hands. When he spins,
tap A (don't hold it down) to jump over his tail. Once you catch him off-guard,
continuously tab B in front of him to punch him four times. Once he's down,
step around and grab his tail. Like in Super Mario 64, you'll have to spin him
around. But unlike Super Mario 64, you have to throw him out of an airlock, AND
you don't have to spin as rapidly. Spin slowly then get slightly faster until
his claws no longer touch the ground. Spin him around three or four more times
in the air, then aim and press A to throw him out of the airlock. You'll need
to do this twice more. The second time he dodges more often, so you'll have to
be quicker. He'll also jump over your head sometimes, so back up a bit when
he's in mid-air to avoid being hit while the camera spins. After he's been
thrown out the second time and come back in, he'll need one more good throw
out. By now it's as likely to get him down after a tail spin as it is to win
the lottery, so you'll have to punch him rapidly IMMEDIATELY after dodging a
head-butt (He'll be off guard after being hit by your steel hands). Once he's
out the air lock a third time, the final cut scene will play.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=
END CUTSCENE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=

A big congratulations to you on finishing Conker's Bad Fur Day. Now it's time
to enjoy one of the greatest game endings on any video game system. I won't
spoil any of it, so just sit back and watch the not-so happy ending to the
game.

All that's left to do now is to finish the game a second time.



================================================================================


IV.                           C  R  E  D  I  T  S


================================================================================

Of course, I didn't do everything by myself. Special thanks goes out to...

My friends Klobber, BaronKrusha, and Retriever II, for checking my work and
seeing if it's accurate.

http://members.aol.com/sdallas19/faqs/writing_guide.txt, for help on organizing
a walkthrough.

Microsoft Word, because for ONCE it wasn't a pain to write on.

The media, to give Rare the guts to make this game.

Rare, for having the guts and genius to make this game.

Everyone that read this guide, for making this whole thing worth while!
________________________________________________________________________________
That's all, folks, and keep hoping for OBD!