Review by Da Ass Man
"Did you really think it would be good?"
Probably the worst well-known action/adventure shooter, you will be treated to South Park's jokes that are so old, they were out when Mr. Clean had an afro. The gameplay and shabby graphics are what truly makes this game bad, a story would have been nice, but instead you are treated to squalor that's more unentertaining than that ''base-ket-ball'' flop movie Tre Parker released a few years back. Here's the review:
Gameplay and Controls: 2/10 - Definitely the biggest problem in the game, it can be equated to Tiger Woods if he ever got caught wearing Reeboks. Where to start? How about the fact that you have a first person point of view yet have to worry about getting attacked from the sides or from behind meaning you will have to spin around to see if someone's behind you literally every 30 seconds. VERY annoying. The standard weapon, a snowball, only works on the Turkey's in the first stage really, and the upgraded version, a snowball with urine on it (very witty by the way, Tre Parker's caca poo poo humor stanks, not stinks, it stanks) is so slow you are bound to get hit before you actually throw it. The other weapons are actually useful, but you get them so rarely that you usually use them up long before you reach any boss (which takes about 45 minutes by the way). Moreover, you NEVER need the C buttons, which let you strafe (you dont' need it cuz you're not dodging objects for the most part) and look up and down (since there's nothing to look at, I'm serious). One of the worst gameplay and combinations in a N64 game, I could write a review simply on those but will spare you.
Graphics: 2/10 - If you look at the game, you will turn to stone. Yeah, the characters look similar to their cartoon counterparts, but that's because THEY ARE NOT HARD TO DRAW. The town looks like the town's in that game rampage - not the latest Rampage either, the one 10 years ago on the NES. Most of the stages look a lot alike too, like the toy store with 15 shelves in each room, or the turkey caves. Additionally, each stage has only one or types of enemies, and they all look exactly the same. Super Mario Brothers did a better job than this. Although I've never the infamous ''Superman'' for the N64, the graphics are probably worse than that.
Sound: 7/10 - The only good thing going for the game, but you can save yourself 50 bones and download a ''Cartman talk'' online and get funnier sayings than what's in the game. The voices are good and they say many things, but it all gets old after about a week. In all fairness, the voices sound exactly like the characters though. The music is abominable though, but you'll forget it quickly though.
Replay? You buy South Park, you put it in your N64 and play it, you have to live with this game for the rest of your life, you pour gasoline on it and burn it, problem solved.
Final Thought: Matt Stone and Tre Parker are like their characters, one-dimensional, possess 2nd grader mentalities, and got old quick. Like the WNBA, South Park quickly became out of style.
Reviewer's Score: 3/10 | Originally Posted: 10/17/01, Updated 10/17/01
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