Review by Mikester
"Bad in ways you never thought possible."
Over the past year, I've gained some level of notoriety among my friends by making it my mission to play and beat as many bad games and ridiculously difficult games as possible. Rygar, beaten. Ninja Gaiden, done. Adventure Island...well, that took awhile, but I got that too. And so, I have recently stumbled upon an abomination known as Bokosuka Wars. This is a game not even *I* will touch. BW gives some strong competition to Front Line in the everlasting battle over the claim to the title of ''Worst Game Ever.''
A quick glance at the title screen revealed that BW was released in 1985. It shows. Visually, the game is horrendous. Your ugly blob of a soldier walks across a pitch black battlefield(it's more like teleportation, since this game has no animation) and fights other ugly soldiers. You'll probably be amused by the monster that shuffles across the screen on the infamous ''WOW! YOU LOSE!'' display that will pop up when you meet your inevitable demise. Bottom line: the graphics won't excite you, but that's okay, nothing here will.
Maybe I'm wrong on this, but I ddin't hear any music when I played this monstrosity. The sound effects are the über-generic bleeps and bloops. Yawn.
Yes, that's right, a zero for gameplay. The purpose of the game appears to be to walk as far to the left of the screen as possible, while avoiding or defeating any enemies you encounter. Sounds like a reasonable concept, right? Well, when you encounter an enemy(and you WILL, because the screen will soon be swarming with monsters), you begin a ''fight sequence,'' where you pound the A and B buttons and hope that you will emerge from the battle victorious and be allowed to continue your quest. Most often, however, after a battle, you are taken to the infuriating ''WOW! YOU LOSE!'' screen, at which point it's Game Over man, Game over! The problem with the battles(aside from the inherent stupidity of button mashing) is that the outcome appears to be totally random. Stupid premise + randomness = FUN! Besides, this game is really, really difficult. Does the game over screen need to taunt you too?
Bottom Line: God, this game is crap. Do I recommend playing it? Absolutely. Once you've played Bokosuka Wars and then someone proceeds to call another game the ''worst game ever,'' you can say, ''Screw that, I've played Bokosuka Wars. But if you're looking for a fun game...strongest recommendation to avoid.
Reviewer's Rating: 0.5 - Unplayable
Originally Posted: 05/22/01, Updated 05/22/01
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