Review by horror_spooky
"Worst Game Ever Made?"
Whenever I review a relatively old videogame, I try to cut it some slack because it's...ya know...old. Sometimes, I struggle with enjoying older games because games today have advanced so far. The reason I'm saying this is because some people will look at my score for 10-Yard Fight and think, "He just gave it that because it's old!" On the contrary, my ever-loving critics. I gave this game the worst score it could possibly get because it is simply the worst game I have ever played in my life.
This is how the game works: you start at the high-school level and after one game in high-school, the folks decide to ship you off to college for a football game. That's all fine and good, but after one college game, you're a professional football player! Your life is really looking up, especially since after one game on your nameless professional team, you are now in the playoffs! One playoff win and it's Super Bowl time! Congratulations, you just won the Super Bowl!
This feat is also very, extremely, easy and boring. The basic way the game plays is you get the ball and go as far as you can down the damn field, without incorporating any passing strategies nor blocking strategies mind you. Passing is done by simply aiming your person in a general direction, pressing A and praying to God that the pass doesn't get intercepted because if the other team gets ahead of you by two downs, it's over.
Blocking is done in two ways: right after the kick-off, your other teammates all run around you in a circle and move with your movements perfectly, kind of like an orchestrated dance. The other team then runs at your teammates and knocks them aside to get to you (vice-versa depending on who has the ball.) After the first down, the defense is done by trying to get the bastard with the ball as fast as you possibly can. This feat is done easily, however, since when you tackle someone your player flies across the field. This means that you can simply press B on one side of the field and tackle someone on the OTHER side of the field! Also, if you're on the offense and the defense is close to you, you might as well run towards them because your only defense against them is to keep pressing forward and turn right every once in a while.
Two player is an option, but I don't really think you or your friends would have fun playing through this garbage. If you know anybody that would, I want you to go to their house and shoot them know because they are less of a person for enjoying this horribly made game.
Field-goals, anyone? No matter how long I played the game, I never missed one field-goal. Was it because of skill? No. It was simply because that during field goals, a small bold blue arrow appears in front of the goal post and you simply hit the pass button and let the ball glide right over and give you an extra point. Disappointing? You bet'cha!
When waiting for the other team to hike the ball, you should go get yourself something to eat and do some other small chore because this process takes forEVER! One player runs in front of the quarterback for about twenty seconds before the other team's quarterback hikes the damn ball! This makes no sense and doesn't help the other team strategically in any way possible!
Of course, you aren't limited to being only one player! You're basically limited to two (unless another teammate gets the ball). Yes, this gives you a starting choice of either the right or left side as the opposite team waits twenty seconds to hike the freaking ball!
As if the games weren't so unbearingly boring enough, the developers thought it would be funny to PROLONG them! The games are broken up into two halves which each last about 20 minutes (despite the clock saying thirty). If anybody has the ambition to play through the worst simulated football game ever for over an hour is insane and should be treated as such.
I've seen much prettier games on the NES than this piece of garbage. The "uniforms" on the players are different depending on position. If the other team's quarterback is up, then he will have a black uniform on while the player you control will have a fruity-looking light green uniform on.
The sound is best part about the game and is the only reason it even got the one score! Not that the sound is anything great, but it's not bad either. Simply average. Average is much better than horrible, like the rest of the game.
The game lasts about an hour (2-player doesn't count because your friends would all disown you if you freaking made them play this horrible title).
Don't ever even look for this game anywhere. Just let it collect dust in a large hole in the middle of the Earth with all the other horrible games ever released (*cough* Marc Ecko and Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows, I'm looking at you!).
Reviewer's Score: 1/10 | Originally Posted: 02/26/07
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