"What fools these mortals at Active be..."

Meet Active! Active was a little company with big dreams. Way too overconfident, though. As they say: "When you make castles in the air, build the supports for them." Active apparently forgot this rule, and hastily made several horrible games to go along with their theme: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle knockoffs! They made their silly games and kept up this charade until their untimely death in 1993. Born in 1991. That's pathetic. The only things that they released or cared about were Cheetahmen games. I only really know their names from others, but if you really want to know their names, read someone else's review. Anyway, on to the game.

The game itself is a complete shambles. You play as some Cheetah guy with an arrow, with a name of a Greek god, and you shoot things with this arrow. However, the enemies of the Cheetahmen have found their weak spot. They haven't learned the ability to duck yet. That is the only way to beat dogs and roaches with the arrow. And since we're not talking about Mario here, the Cheetahmen can't use their powerful feet worth jack. I can do both, and I'm way younger than those Cheetah-losers. (13) I can also slide on the ground and have (in fact, nearly all of us have) the ability to kill the Cheetahmen, since they can't duck or hit an enemy with their feet. Humans: 1 Cheetahmen: 0.

The music is not too bad, but since I didn't make it past the first level, I don't know if it changes. The graphics have no lines surrounding the characters, and though it doesn't affect my gaming much, it sure makes it easier.

Active's desire to rule the world with its knockoffs of normal things failed. Be grateful for their lousy programmers. I mean, I could make knockoffs better than this. I programmed (dunno what type it was.) a platformer. It wasn't Mario quality, but it was much better than what Active made. Besides, the Turtles are much better and cooler, except for real Cheetahs, Chester, and Cheetor. Those cheetahs are awesome, as well as make tasty cheese snacks.

Graphics: 2 out of 10. Your cheetahman blends into the background like a chameleon. Your enemies disintegrate. One of your first enemies is invisible. At least everything looks like what it's supposed to, sort of.

Sound: 2 out of 10. What? The sound is so forgetabble. And I have nothing important on my mind, so that hurts it even more.

Challenge: 10 out of 10. Hard learning curve. Invisible enemies. Lacking the ability to duck. Iffy controls. Falling down more than 1 Cheetahman height down leads to an instant death. I can jump from about the same distance up, and not be hurt. Humans: 2 Cheetahmen: 0.

Gameplay: 0 out of 10. Standard, non-ducking platform action with deaths from 6 ft high and low enemies. Active sure was lazy. Good thing Cheetahmen don't exist anymore.

2+2+10+0= 14 divided by 4 = 3.5 rounded up to 4.

Buy, Rent, Check, or Don't Bother? I really wish I could give it a lower score. The challenge is not a good thing. In fact, I'll change it.

2+2+5 too much +0= 9 divided by 4 = 2.25 rounded down to 2.

There, that's much better. Don't Bother looking, unless you want to see a company's failure and laugh.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 02/28/06