"The only way to get any "Action" out of this thing is to smash the cartridge."

Action 52. 52 games in one cartridge. Sounds good, yeah! works... Now wait, this doesn't work at all. No, can't say that it does. In fact, one might say that Action 52 is the BIGGEST waste of money you'll ever see. Sure, it would be a good deal if the games were good, or even playable, but they just aren't. They show absolutely NO EFFORT AT ALL on the part of the programmers, and it's obvious that their only goal was to smash as many games into the cartridge as they could. If that meant cutting corners on each game, sacrificing fun, addictiveness, and playability, then SURE says active! Do it! Yeah, the games may be hardly playable, but there's 52 of them! Surely that makes up for it! No, it doesn't. That's all the ranting for now, sorry about that, I'll try not to do it again. Now, the reason you came, the Review!

Well, I turn on the cartridge, and a corny intro that you can't skip shows LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION 52! (watching this every time you start up the game is annoying) and after that stroke of genius, You're treated to a digitized voice (which is actually well done) that says "Make your selection NOW!" Thanks Active, I was just going to stare at the menu for a few hours. Okay, now you have three lists of games. You can switch between the lists, and you pick your method of torture from there. Okay, now that The game is started, it's time to talk about the...

play: 1/10
Notice how I said play instead of gameplay. That's because there really isn't much in this cartridge worthy of the title "game". It's mind- numbing, insanity-inducing torture from game 1 to game 52. Yes, that's right. I wasted valuable time out of my life playing all of the games, just hoping that somewhere, somehow I'd find a good game that would make it worth the money I spent. I was sure that there was a gem hidden in here somewhere, forgotten, lost amidst all the trash, just begging me to find it and tell the world of it's existence. That game does not exist.

Just in case that hasn't turned you off, I'm going to review a few of the games that I remember most. I've forgotten a few, because most of the games are copies of each other. To stop this review from being as long and painful as the game itself, I'll only talk about the most horrendous abominations.

Game #5: Ooze: This is the second worst game that I've ever played, the first place winner is coming up. In this game, you control a short little green guy who in in this green place filled with... Things. What they are, I don't know. To save yourself from these things, you must jump on footprints (WHAT THE HECK?) that are stuck on the wall (which is just a black graphic-free void.) However, the jumping is so stuff as to make it impossible to jump forward, and there's really no point in trying to get the hang of it, since the game is unbeatable in the third level (at least I think it's the third) where the footprints aren't where you need them, so you die no matter what you do.

Game #27: Non-Human THIS is the worst game ever. The control is as bad as Ooze, but now there are pits everywhere that you need to jump over. What a great idea! and as if that's not bad enough, the platforms are so glitched that you can actually stand on the pits! In the beginning of the game, you need to jump over the platform and land on the pit next to it! And under the floor is a disturbing repeated picture of a screaming vampire head! and your character isn't even recognizable as ANYTHING!! And even if you suffer through the whole thing, your reward is being able to repeat the EXACT SAME LEVEL over again without so much as a "You're Winner!"

Game #52: Action Game Master (Cheetahmen): It can be called either, this is supposed to be the shining treasure that you played through all of the other rotten games to get to. Sadly, it's more like a rusty tin can that you found in the gutter than a treasure. The game actually has a story, in which some kid gets pulled into a TV by an arm (that looks robotic) and inside the TV he meets these guys named Cheetahmen (none of them have a robotic arm, so who the arm belongs to is up for question) who tell him that their world is in danger, and then run away, abandoning him to the elements. Wow, What's he going to do now? Sit there? I guess, since the only reason that they pulled him into the TV was for the fun of it. You never see him again. Then you move into gameplay ripped off from several other action/adventure games of the time.

Graphics: 2/10
They are simple, rushed, and all too often look like something out of 1983. I wouldn't care if the games were good, but they're NOT!! I wouldn't care if the system wasn't capable of handling anything more, but IT IS!! The bad graphics are only to save space for other bad games.

Story: 1/10
The only story was the one written for Cheetahmen, and that was basically a bunch of cliches and stolen plot Components taped together.

Music: 1/10
The music is, like everything else in the game, rushed, badly done, uncreative, and painful. It hurts your ears in some places. One great example is a game called Manchester. Every time you jump, you hear this HORRIBLY DONE and ANNOYING tune. Two of the games (who's names escape me) have the same song, which is the single most horrible piece of "music" that I have ever heard. It actually hurts to listen to.

control: 2/10
Some of the games were playable, but most had those jumping issues I talked about (i.e., you can't), and so the playability of these games is limited. You kow what? I'm being too nice. The control is lazily done and bad. like everythi else on this cartridge. SHAME ON YOU, ACTIVE!!!

r8ing: This game looks like it was programmed by a 2-year old tap dancing on a keyboard. This is what I'd expect if I bought an unfinished prototype, and for the price that they wanted they had no excuse for being so lazy. Oh, didn't I mention? This game cost $200 when it was released! I ought it used much later, but I still wasted more money than I would spend on a normal NES game.

Final score: 1/10
Big Surprise!

Buy/rent:
NEITHER!! The only reason to even come near this game is to brag that you own a rare title. I, therefore, should not own it since I'm not a collector and don't know anyone who really cares that I own a rare NES game. I'll hang onto it just because I think it's cool to have such an infamous piece of NES history, and if that's what you're looking for, GREAT!! You've found you game! If you're looking for something to play, KEEP LOOKING!!!

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 03/01/05