"So Much Fun, You'll Want To Put An Axe Through Your T.V.!"

'Cobra Triangle' can be summarized in this way: ''the ship from 'Gradius' was turned into a boat and transplanted into an aquatic 'RC Pro-Am.''' Confused yet? Don't worry, you won't have to do anymore thinking once you turn the game on. Except, of course, for when you have to decide to either scream at the top of your lungs or punch the wall when your ?$@ing red boat explodes for the 104th time.
Yes, folks, 'Cobra Triangle' is one of those games of skill, where you have to master all sorts of bizarre stages and challenges to succeed. There are no passwords or anything, so once you run out of continues, that's it. So you basically have to play the game a million times and master every stage to get by... which is usually a frustrating mess, and yet, you'll keep coming back. Whether this is due to fun game design or basic human stubbornness is certainly food for thought.
Anyhow, let's get to the game. In 'Cobra Triangle,' you control a red boat that is apparently the Superman equivalent of the nautical world. You're called on duty to rescue swimmers, defuse mines, battle sea monsters, and do all kinds of heroic things that most boat warranties probably don't cover. Your boat can be powered up by picking up numbered buoys that move your cursor along the weapons menu, allowing you to select which item you want first. (The same system used in 'Gradius,' 'Life Force,' and the other games in that series.) This game carries the same curse that the 'Gradius' games did, though, in terms of power-ups. Powering up your boat is easy in the early stages, but very difficult later on, so once you die, you probably won't be able to re-equip the heavily-armed boat you'll need in the hyper-difficult levels later in the game. Oh, the trials one faces in the nautical life.
Now, let's cut right to the nitty-gritty. This game is hard. Really hard. Some of the stages (such as the swimmer rescue or bomb-defusing levels) require a lot of skill and boat-driving finesse. But more often than not, you'll need dumb luck to survive. This is especially true of the waterfall-jumping levels, where you have to drive your boat at top speed and pray that you get lucky and hit the ramps to make it safely over the gaps.
Are there really areas in the world where there are a bunch of waterfalls flowing together with gaps in between them? Isn't that rather physically improbable? And why does the darn boat decide to drive through these areas in the first place? Why doesn't he just ask to be airlifted to the end in safety? And why am I asking these rhetorical questions about a game where a red boat battles giant sea monsters?
Yes, folks, believe it or not, you will do battle with gigantic sea critters in this game, including a huge mutant crab that will make any Red Lobster patron think twice before ordering. I sort of feel bad for the crab, to be honest... why not just put a sign by the water where the crab lives that says: ''Don't Swim Here, Or You'll Be Eaten By A Really Big And Scary Crab.'' Or why not airbomb the poor thing and be done with it?
Of course, logic never applies to games like these. 'Cobra Triangle' offers controller-busting video game challenges and makes no attempt to really immerse you in a believable story or fantasy game environment. Each level is pretty much the game designer's way of saying: ''here's a nasty little video game level for you to beat. Keep playing it until you get good at it.'' Nothing wrong with that, of course, but modern players who are accustomed to immersive role-playing games and adventure games like 'Mario 64' with tangible long-term goals will probably find 'Cobra Triangle' to be fairly outdated. The point of winning this game is to win this game. That's it... passing the challenge test is its own purpose.
'Cobra Triangle' has decent graphics. The big monsters look pretty good, and everything else is solidly presented. Nothing amazing here, but it'll do.
The music and sounds are okay, too. I rather liked the explosion sounds in this game, for some reason. The tunes get the job done but you won't remember them once you switch the game off.
'Cobra Triangle' is a pretty mediocre action-racing game, to be honest. Any fun that the game contained is quickly forgotten as you waste all of your precious extra lives on the ludicrous waterfall stages or trying to re-power your boat. But you'll keep coming back for more punishment, like it or not. This game is challenging, and darn it, we humans can't stand to lose. So you'll no doubt want to keep playing, just to finally win some day and laugh like a madman. If this seems like a silly reason to play a video game, well, maybe it is. But hey, if you crave a challenge, fire this one up sometime... it'll give you something to grapple with for a long time.

Editor's Note: No giant crabs were harmed during the making of this review.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 10/18/00, Updated 10/18/00