"Cruddy Towers! Horrid Towers! Evil Towers! I-wish-I-could-say-it-but-it-isn't-within-the-TOS towers!"

Broderbund software...same people who licensed Myst. They should have taken one look at this worthless excuse for a Zelda clone and laughed the IREM representative out of the office. About the ONLY interesting thing about this game was that you could walk(gasp) DIAGONALLY, and that scored the only point. Otherwise, the game is pure and utter stupidity:

Graphics: Not too bad...until they repeat, and repeat, and repeat again. Nice diagonal walking sprite. They didn't even bother to put in a sword-throwing one...the blade just pops out of nowhere, The rest of the enemies are strictly 1988-and-before quality, even though this game was made after that year. Screw the objective description. I've had more fun staring at the static on my TV screen.(At least it's QUALITY static.)

Music: One tune, one instrument. Apparently the poor guy is trying to make t sound mideaval. YRCH! Sounds that are nonexistent(probably a blessing in disguise.) Recordings of the music can be used for interrogation purposes,though...play this in the background(bring your own earplugs, of course) and the sucker'll sing like a bird. Also good for evicting stubborn tenants. And if you've always wanted to see your friend in ''homicidal insane maniac'' mode, just play this ''music'' with him locked in a closet. Fun for all!

Gameplay: Your sword...Riiiiiiight. Myer, if that little pea-sticker can't kill a little bouncing BLOB, how the heck do you think it'll kill the probable dragon? And what's with the stupid currency? LUDDER? Even Zenny was a better idea! Heck, even GOLDS made more sense! Well, this game is realistic, I grant you that...Myer dies as easily as any good humanoid would if surrounded by bats, blobs, and flames. Emptyeye apparently found a ''point'' to completing the game...but anyone who's still playing this game has to be certifiably insane. Either that or they're a follower of Satan. EEye DID say something about that regarding his Point Blank review....
BUY THIS GAME! THEN DESTROY IT! Don't even play it to laugh at it! It may corrupt your system, possess all nearby electrical appliances, take over the house, and start driving your family members crazy by playing its awful music! Emulate...if you and your computer have a death wish!

Nintendo Logic: You can actually fall off buildings. Although, if I were falling to my doom, I probably wouldn't start spinning around. Then again, it would probably be the only fun I'd have in this worthless excuse for a game.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 04/04/00, Updated 04/04/00