"Maybe the programmers were drunk..."

This game is absolutely horrible. Not Shaq-Fu horrible, not Superman horrible, not even AeroFighter's Assault horrible. This defines horrible with a new picture and definition. It will give Webster's an interesting twist on the word in it's 2001 edition.

GRAPHICS--1
The graphics are horrible. They look like Atari 2600 blobs. Pong was more advanced than this. Anyone could draw better sprites negotiating a middle east peace treaty with one hand, and chewing the fingernails off another. The only part of the game's graphics that are remotely realistic are the stars twinkling in the sky.

MUSIC--1
The music would be better if all it was was staple sounds. It's horrid techno pop that seems like a Hanson wannabe. MUTE! If you can stand this music please email me at matt91486@aol.com. I want to know you're brand of earplugs. They could be making millions.

CONTROL-1
This game controls like a drunk driver on an icy, foggy road with the streetlamps blown out by a fuse overload. I turn left, it turns right. I say go, it says stop. I say I'll pay, it whips out the Visa card. I turn it off, and it turns itself, the TV, and the stereo on.

FUN--1
I'd rather play this game blindfolded and with the TV turned off. I'd rather pay off O.J. Simpson's legal bills. I'd rather glue myself to a chair at a Backstreet Boys concert. Any other thing I'd rather do than play this game.

CLOSING STATEMENT
DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME. IT IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME. If you want to commit suicide jump off a plane without a parachute, do not play this game. You shouldn't be that desperate. No one should. HEY TEXAS: TIRED OF PAYING FOR THE DEATH PENALTY? BUY AN OLD NES AND A COPY OF DESTINATION: EARTHSTAR, AND ONLY PAY ONCE FOR ALL OF THE VICTIMS.

OVERALL--1

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 06/02/00, Updated 07/18/01