Review by Rick L
"Not as bad as I thought...."
But the game still sucks. Too bad someone rushed through the programming to make this cheap thing.
''I will poke you with my almighty thing that looks like a stick!''
The graphics look alright. They're nothing to write home about, and the character portraits look alright. The worst part were the characters. They look like stick figures, and worst of all, they move like they're constipated. In other words, they're constipated stick figures. When they attack, it looks like they're poking each other. Stupid stuff, if you ask me. Overall, it wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. Sadly, it's all downhill from here, kids!
''Quick! Turn off my faucet-like ears, for they are gushing out blood!''
Well, not really, but it wasn't all too good either. The music just felt like it was the same tone played repeatadly. Or, more like, the same bleep/bloop at higher and lower pitches. It gets annoying after a while, ya know? You play it long enough and you slowly drive yourself to the nearest mental hospital. Didn't get annoying right off to me, though. But the worst of it all is about to come.....
''Kids, what game causes the most broken controllers?''
Unforgivable. You press a button, and your character sits there, eats his lunch, calls his buddy on a cell-phone, plays hackey-sack with himself, and THEN he might just do what you want. It's awful. Why do you have to wait five hours for him to move right? Inexcusable! It takes about twice as long to attack something! Whazzupwitdat?! I could beat Earthbound (If I could play RPGs) in the time it takes for the guy to respond! Awful! Some certain programmers need a scolding!
Replay Value: [Don't ask]/10
''This game will even make bikers cry for their mommies.''
No. Don't. Ever. Never ever! Use it as a torture device, and that's about all you really can do with this. Don't use it for anything else. This game even insults doorstops and coasters. So do them a favor and only use as a torture device, OK?
''Quick! Get the plastic surgeon!''
Overall, the game was alright in it's sound and graphics, but then took a nose dive in the control department. With a LOT more time put into it, it could've been a good game, but again, it was gone to waste. Sorry! You are the weakest link! Good-bye!
This is The Rick, tellin' you to steer clear!
Reviewer's Score: 3/10 | Originally Posted: 03/04/02, Updated 03/04/02
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