"Then I noticed that there was a new director...curse you, More Yamasan!"

After having played Ninja Gaiden I and II, I was expecting something special from the third installment. Mega Man III...Super Mario III...Castlevania III, great games, all. So my question is, what happened? Ninja Gaiden III is marred by problems from the second you switch the power on. The jarring bass note that instantly plays is symbolic of the whirlwind rush job that bears the horrible, awful subtitle "The Ancient Ship of Doom." Durrr!!

Story: 1/10

Ninja Gaiden I and II may have been a bit cheesy in terms of their plotline, but they shined when it came to execution. They had interesting introductions that set the tone for the rest of the game, and Ninja Gaiden III does have that going for it, but the similarity ends there. From the time you beat the first boss, the clunky dialogue (ALL CAPS are used in places for "dramatic effect," and it seems very cartoony and chintzey), moronic music, overstylized artwork, the lack of a backdrop for most of the scenes, and the Formula 1 Racecar-pacing will instantly put you off your sushi. The first four cinemas are basically Ryu talking to someone who says, "Go to the Castle Rock Fortress." They may as well have made cinemas about Ryu finding signs that say "This way!" You can't call that a story. To make matters worse, once you get there, the characters start spouting some crap about subspace and interdimensional travel that just plain doesn't belong in a series whose tradition is about Ninjitsu, revenge, and demon ressurection. To cap it all off (and without spoiling too much), the Ancient Ship of Doom thing is just a blatant ripoff of Strider's ending (a theme which will return later in this review). The collapsing fortress at the end takes about 12 seconds to collapse, compared to the Apocalyptic collapses of the temples in the first two games. Cheeeap! Plus, Ryu and Irene's dialogue at the end is some of the worst writing I have ever seen in a video game. This Ancient Ship sinks under it's weight.

Graphics: 5/10

They're colorful and very detailed...but kind of ugly. Ryu, thankfully, looks almost exactly like he did in the first two games, with the exception of his bandanna blowing in the wind (even inside...must be some powerful AC). He also has a different "getting hit" sprite, which looks more natural, as do the sprites for his somersaults. The real problems are with the enemies and the backgrounds (y'know, everything else). The enemies are not very diverse, and lots of pallette-swapping is used. Add that to the fact that they don't look at all cool and you've got a boring bunch of bad guys. The bosses are no help, either...it almost seems like they tried to do too much, and they're colored like children's breakfast cereal. As for the backgrounds...the lab in the first level doesn't look like a lab, it looks like a shopping mall. The desert doesn't look like a desert, the jungle doesn't look like a jungle...and who knows what the heck the rest of the levels are supposed to look like, but without question, they're downright ugly.

Music: 4/10

Before I go on with this, there is an absolutely unacceptable flaw in the music for one of the stages (I forget which)...a sample that sounds like a really computerized flute...ugggghhh!!! That's the kind of crap that's in Skate or Die 2...

The first two games had simple atmospheric music that made you feel...well...like a Ninja, and it suited the situation it was played in. This game tries to make you feel like a heavy metal guitarist, and it just doesn't work. The theme for the first level is kinda cool, but it's just too American in its "throw as many notes as you can at 'em" dunder-headedness. Later levels suffer the same fate, and the desert level's theme in particular sounds like the sadness I feel when I play this game. In addition, the music is re-used far more often than in the previous two games, with almost every theme being revisited before the end. As for the ending themes..."Irene and Ryu" from the second game can still get me misty-eyed to this day. The sickly-sweet "Everything's OK" love theme that plays at the end of this hack job leaves me cold. And the credits theme is no help either. I am a musician; one would hope I know what I'm talking about.

Sound Effects: 7/10

Largely unchanged from NGII. This is good. There is one minor flaw, which has been mentioned in other reviews I've read...Ryu screams "HAH!" every single time he swings his sword. It was cool once. But you end up having to swing your sword about a million times (as one would expect), and it gets God-awful by the end. He'd have laryngitis by Stage 3. It's very cheesy and unrealistic. And it interferes with hearing the crappy music. Oh, and before I forget, the "sword clanging against metal" sound effect could have been less annoying.

Gameplay: 3/10

Distinctly less fun than the first two games in the series. Ryu seems to have been eating rice cake and drinking Sake since NGII, because he takes damage like an overfed, undertrained sissy. The idea of increasing the challenge is to find new ways to make the player think, not new ways to kill them more often. Not to mention the fact that the game seems to throw ten times the enemies at you (especially in the later levels). More enemies does NOT equal more challenge! Plus, they almost always try to interfere with jumps. Plus plus, Ryu's range has been cut down to where, without the sword power up (also ripped from Strider), you need pinpoint accuracy to hit even the hugest of enemies. Plus plus plus, Ryu's jumps are all floaty and weird! Quadruple plus, you have next to no invincibility when you get hit! Team Ninja was really out to screw the player in this installment. There's more but...you get the picture. One small consolation is that the flagging problem of NGI (which was toned down, but not completely absent in NGII) is gone from this game; that is, you kill an enemy, they're gone for good. It doesn't save the gameplay, but it's there, nonetheless. (Interesting note: Under "Program Work" in the credits, it lists "NOBODY." No kidding...)

Overall: 2/10

The story will make you cringe, the graphics are sub-par, the music was botched, Ryu won't stop screaming, and Team Ninja hates its fanbase with passion. Just watch Ryu and Irene staring at the sunset at the end of NGII and be satisfied. Let's all try to pretend this game never happened...

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 07/25/05