"We're still waiting for the ending..."

I don't know why others are dissing such a great game. With so much valuable hardware to obtain and so many great characters to choose from, especially Dr. Kwack, Xenophobe just bedazzles all that lay their golden fingers upon it. Don't let these fools bamboozle you.

Story: My friend and my sister were both enthralled by the plight of the human race as the Xenos invaded. There is no other story like this one. Just don't forget to grab the orb before the base self-destructs.

Graphics: I don't understand why these next generation consoles even try. Xenophobe reached the pinnacle of graphical splendor years ago that so many are attempting to reach today. Characters and enemies are incredibly lifelike. I felt as though I really was Dr. Kwack facing the tyrannical rule of the Xenos. I was astounded by how many colors were on screen at once. The Frankenstein poster that appears in the game is very well designed. The luscious graphics can be seen best through the giant hole in the wall with ribs coming out of it in one of the bases. The graphics of the mother ship are beautiful; its like god reached down from heaven and touched my soul.

Sound Effects: The three boops and beeps found within this treasure are sure to please even the toughest audiophiles. When you hook this game up to your Dolby Digital 5.1 Surroundsound speakers, you might as well forget your pappys beeps and boops.

Music: The game over and entrance music really captures the despair many felt after the Xeno takeover. Sometimes when you collect a lot of hardware, the last note of the song continuously plays, which is really cool. Although very little music is found within the game, the beeps and boops found within the levels are like music to my ears already. Just shoot the Xenos to create your own beat.

Originality: There is no game like this in existence. A dash of action, a heapin' spoonful of romance, and a whole lot of sci-fi exploration adventure.

Play control: Very difficult to uncover the mystery behind the play control, although I did eventually figure out that one button made you jump while the other made you shoot. Good luck trying to figure this bad boy out.

Valuable hardware: By far the greatest aspect of Xenophobe. Coffee mugs, test tubes, human skulls, knives, floppy discs, grenades, its all here. There are four weapons in total: one shoots electric something, one shoots really fast, the aforementioned grenades, and one that doesn't really do anything. It also takes a very long time to add up the large amount of valuable hardware that you will have obtained by the sixth time through the eight stages.

Enemies: There are so many Xenos and Xeno-friendly creatures/spybots to battle with. Electric fields can be difficult to get by, but when you get hit by one, it is possible to stand in the middle of it and not be harmed by and Xenos/Xeno-friendly creatures/Xeno-friendly spybots. The fact that they collect human skulls as valuable hardware makes me want to shoot them even more.

Bases: Eight awesome bases make up this eternal adventure. Our favorite is the one with the Frankenstein poster.

Multiplayer: Having friends is cool and all, but shooting aliens that refuse to do anything except jump in the most obvious pattern possible with guns is even cooler. The Xenophights© can get really hardcore, so you're going to need someone to cover your back. Sometimes you have to find your buddy or you get seperated when a Xeno knocks out of the room onto your butt, so be careful. Teleportation units help you quickly find your friend or get you closer to your foe. You really need to have the competitive edge when it comes to collecting valuable hardware.

One player: Wicked awesome when it comes to wanting to go off alone in the cold, dark world of Xenos. The good thing is that you can easily collect all of the valuable hardware for those of you that don't like to share. The game had an isolated atmosphere that polarizes the player with a sense of dread and fear that will give you nightmares for weeks.

Challenge: This is the only place Xenophobe loses a point. My friend and I figured out how to play it in five minutes. Such tactics as jumping over things and shooting them really help out.

Ending: Although there is no "ending", it's a blast when you finally reach that 999990 point mark. I don't know why the game won't give you another nine points, but it doesn't matter. Don't let society's conception of what a conventional ending is ruin such a great experience. Just turn the game off. What's really cool about this is that you essentially decide when the game is over.

Title: I almost forgot to mention how brilliant the title of this game is: xenophobe [zen-uh-fohb, zee-nuh-]: n. a person who fears or hates foreigners, strange customs, etc. (Random House Unabridged Dictionary 2006.) After playing this game, I can safely say that I truly do fear and hate the strange customs of alien beings that like to kill people. I mean, c'mon people, what kind of sick mutant freak collects human skulls as valuable hardware?

Bad points: N/A

Story: 10
Graphics: 10
Sound Effects: 10
Music: 10
Originality: 10
Play control: 10
Valuable Hardware: 10
Enemies: 10
Bases: 10
Multiplayer: 10
One player: 10
Challenge: 9
Ending: 10
Title: 10
Bad points: N/A

Overall: 9.928571428571428571428571428571 etc.

I just hate that we had to round down for the overall score.

Play this game. Make this one into a movie.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 01/03/07