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    Death Scene FAQ by angeldeb82

    Version: 1.0 | Updated: 10/31/12 | Search Guide | Bookmark Guide

    *******************************************************************************
    *                EXCLUSIVE DEATH SCENES FAQ FOR BRAIN DEAD 13                 *
    *                                (Version 1.0)                                *
    *                                                                             *
    *                           Author: Deborah L. Kearns                         *
    *                        E-mail: angeldeb82@comcast.net                       *
    *******************************************************************************
    
    Copyright © 2012 by Deborah L. Kearns
    
    Brain Dead 13 is a trademark of ReadySoft, Coconuts Japan, and Digital Leisure.
    Brain Dead 13: Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1997, 2010 by Digital Leisure.
    
    ===DISCLAIMER===
    
    This FAQ is intended ONLY for private home use and may not be reproduced
    through electronic or commercial means without the consent of the author
    (Deborah L. Kearns).  It cannot be hosted, edited, or distributed for profit
    and may not be given away as an add-in/gift to bought items, and it should not
    be claimed as your own.  All rights are reserved to respected parties, even
    those not explicitly stated herein.  Thank you for reading this, and thank you
    for respecting FAQ authors.
    
    *WARNING: THIS FAQ IS NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH OR THE SQUEAMISH-AT-HEART, AS IT
    MAY CONTAIN OBJECTIONABLE CONTENT OR MATERIAL THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR
    CHILDREN, AND ALSO CONTAINS SPOILERS AHEAD FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T PLAYED THE
    GAME OR BEATEN IT, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!  THE FAQ WILL BE MORE ENJOYABLE TO
    BE READ IF YOU HAVE FINISHED THE GAME AT LEAST ONCE!  YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!*
    
    
    TABLE OF CONTENTS
    
    1. Introduction
    2. Death Scenes
       2.1. Crossroads and Main Entryway
       2.2. Haunted Rooms
       2.3. Moose's Scenario
       2.4. Vivi's Funeral Salon Scenario
       2.5. The Witches' Scenario
       2.6. The Maze Scenario (I)
       2.7. The Giant Statue Scenario (II)
       2.8. Fritz's Grand Stairway
       2.9. The Final Confrontation
    3. Resurrection Scenes
    4. Conclusion
    5. Updates and Revisions
    6. Thanks
    
    
    # 1. Introduction #
    
    Hello, and good evening, to those of you who are familiar with the game.  As
    you may know, Brain Dead 13 is an action interactive movie game, which is a
    clone of Dragon's Lair and Space Ace, but unlike the previous games, which were
    developed by Advanced Microcomputer Systems, Brain Dead 13 is the... *ahem*...
    brainchild of game developer ReadySoft, which was based in Ontario, Canada, and
    founded in 1987 by ex-Digital Solutions co-founder David Foster.  ReadySoft had
    published software for a variety of platforms, and in 1988 they acquired the
    rights to Dragon's Lair from Don Bluth Studios and published a conversion for
    the Amiga system.  ReadySoft went on to sell over a million units of Dragon's
    Lair on various platforms until 1996, when it was sold by Foster to Malofilm,
    later known as Behavior, who then became involved with the formation of Digital
    Leisure in 1997, which then acquired the rights to the interactive movie game
    franchise and still continues to publish titles on modern platforms to this
    day.
    
    Anyway, as I was saying, let's get back on topic.  Brain Dead 13 is a game
    whose story goes like this: You are red-headed, long-haired pretty boy and
    computer technician Lance Galahad, and you are summoned by a hunchback beastie
    named Fritz to fix the computer of the mad scientist, Dr. Nero Neurosis, who is
    nothing more than a brain in a giant glass tube.  But in doing so, you are
    tricked into helping him take over the world now that you are no longer a use
    for him.  But then you get him ticked by pointing out how lame-brained his evil
    plans are, all "thought up by some average mad scientist," and he's sending
    Fritz after you; now you have to explore his castle located at 13 Brain Dead
    Avenue (hence the title), and fight various undead monsters before getting to
    the mad scientist himself, all the while Fritz is on your tail trying to use
    many methods to kill you.
    
    Here's the part where it gets interesting, and pretty disturbing: Like Dragon's
    Lair and Space Ace, Brain Dead 13 consists of quick time events; and during
    gameplay exploration is freer than in most previous interactive games, with
    most of the rooms linked to crossroads, which leaves the route for finding the
    Brain Chamber up to you.  But quick time events aren't just for rooms; they are
    also found in crossroads themselves, which means that if Lance can't find a way
    to choose a path as quickly as possible, Fritz will arrive and use a method to
    kill him!  And it kinda makes cartoony deaths in previous interactive games
    seem pretty tame compared to this game, which has very intense and graphic
    violence, all over the top in its cartoony approach (and yet there is no blood
    splattered out when a death is inflicted, which is very baffling to me!); and
    that violence is something that the game programmers often overlooked back in
    1995, along with sexual and suggestive content involving vampire vixen Vivi and
    other content, which is probably why the game was given a "Kids to Adults"
    (K-A) rating, now an "Everyone" (E) rating, by the Entertainment Software
    Rating Board in spite of objectionable issues.  That rating remained when it
    was ported to all other game consoles in 1996 and 1997.  When the game finally
    got ported to iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch in October 2010, it was then that the
    game programmers finally wised up and made a smart decision to give the game a
    12+ rating, which could be the equivalent of either a "Teen" (T) or an
    "Everyone 10+" (E10+) rating.
    
    This is the reason why I'm here to give you a guide to all the death scenes
    that are found in this game, along with the resurrection scenes seen in said
    game and other previous interactive games.  For those of you who are children
    who have played the game in MS-DOS and other game consoles, I need to warn you
    that many of the deaths that I'm describing to you are VERY graphic and VERY
    disturbing, so if you are one or a few of those children who have beaten the
    game and are traumatized by these disturbing events, I'm warning you to read at
    your own risk or walk away from this guide as soon as possible.  For those of
    you over the age of twelve who have played the game on these iOS ports, I need
    to remind you that though the game programmers have made the game appropriate
    for those aged 12 and up, the deaths in this game are a bit disturbing, but a
    bit funny, nonetheless; so if you have beaten the game, this guide is just the
    right place for you.  Hope you've enjoyed this guide that I've written for you!
    ;)
    
    
    # 2. Death Scenes #
    
    Now, before I get started on the guide to all the death scenes in Brain Dead
    13, I would like to point out the terminology that will be used in this guide:
    
    [#]. [NAME]: The number and the name of a death scene in order.
    WHERE: The location that the scene takes place.  Duh!
    OCCURS: When and how to see the scene if you fail at one point in said scene.
    DESCRIPTION: The description of the scene explained in gruesome detail.
    MY THOUGHTS: The thoughts that occur to me after seeing the scene, be they okay
                 or just plain horrid.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: The rating that you see in stars from one to ten, with one
                     being "Not even gross or horrid", five being "Somewhere
                     between a bit disturbing and very disgusting", and ten being
                     "UGH!  That's REALLY REALLY HORRIFIC AND GROSS!"  Sorry about
                     this, but you get my drift.  :P
    
    Now, without further ado, let's begin.
    
    
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.1. Crossroads and Main Entryway†
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. THE THREE-WAY SPLIT
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads (Start Hallway, Baseball Hallway,
           Cave Entrance, Fireplace, "Now Showing" Hallway, Staircase, Outside
           Vivi's, Skull Hallway 1, Skull Hallway 2, Greenhouse, T-Shaped Hallway,
           Basement or Staircase)
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: While Lance is looking around, Fritz quickly approaches him from
                 behind, then uses both hooks to trisect Lance, making his three
                 pieces collapse in a messy heap before Fritz smiles in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This one seems to be pretty gross, but seriously, splitting
                 Lance in three pieces?!  This is not my way of describing death as
                 "family-friendly"!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    2. DEATH BY BLENDER
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: While Lance is standing still, all of a sudden Fritz arrives
                 angry and sticks his blender mixer into Lance's head (kinda puts
                 new meaning to the words, "go stick your head in a blender"),
                 surprising him; then turns it on, pureeing his head and quickly
                 moving down though his entire body, all the way down to his feet.
                 He then lifts up the blender to show all that remains of Lance, as
                 a root beer float with eyeballs, then picks it up like a cup with
                 his hook hand and drinks it all up like root beer, eyeballs and
                 all, with a smile.
    MY THOUGHTS: Now this is a nauseating brew of death and humor, but Lance
                 getting pureed and drunk like beer, with the eyeballs, is just...
                 ugghhh, it kinda makes me wanna hurl... and it kinda makes you
                 think twice about drinking a smoothie.  Excuse me... *barfs
                 offscreen*
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .] (That's 6 out of ten for the body
                 being pureed, and three more for the body and the eyeballs getting
                 drunk like root beer.  :P)
    
    3. INESCAPABLE DEATH FROM ABOVE
    WHERE: Located in the Main Entryway.
    OCCURS: If you don't go back the right way from the entryway.
    DESCRIPTION: While Lance tries getting out of the castle, all of a sudden Fritz
                 looks down, then jumps down, lauching an attack.  Then, as Lance
                 looks up near the fence, Fritz pounces on him, tackling him and
                 digging him down into unseen death while launching the dirt up,
                 then jumps up, and lands on his feet as the dirt (which contains a
                 screaming Lance) falls back into the hole along with a new
                 tombstone that says "R.I.P.", creating a new grave for Lance's
                 newly dead body.  And to put the finishing touches, Fritz reaches
                 into his pocket, then very gently places a calla lily flower on
                 Lance's new grave with a smile.
    MY THOUGHTS: Well, this one seems to be pretty funny.  Not in the least bit
                 gruesome, but funny nonetheless.  And the finishing touches, Fritz
                 kinda mocks Lance's dead body... by placing a calla lily flower
                 onto his grave... at least I think it's a calla lily.  This is
                 kind of a bitter irony that the calla lily symbolizes purity,
                 innocence, and resurrection, so... yeah. -_-
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (2/10) [* * . . . . . . . .]
    
    4. AN INCOMING TACKLE
    WHERE: Located in either the Basement or the Staircase.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance is still looking around, all of a sudden Fritz jumps down
                 from up the stairs, pounces on him, and tackles him down the
                 stairs into unseen death.
    MY THOUGHTS: Ouch!  That had to hurt.  And that death was pretty quick.  Not
                 even gruesome or bloody or gory in my opinion.  Just a little
                 frightening is all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (1/10) [* . . . . . . . . .]
    
    5. GOING DOWN?
    WHERE: Any of the two Skull Evevator Rooms.
    OCCURS: If you don't beat all four of the bosses BEFORE going toward the
            elevator shaft.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance tries going to the elevator shaft, only to find out that the
                 shaft has no bottom.  He soon falls down as his baseball cap flies
                 a bit, and the scene cuts to black as he falls down the bottomless
                 pit into unseen death.
    MY THOUGHTS: Whoa!  Lance has fallen down the elevator shaft/bottomless pit.
                 So far, nothing bloody or gory or gruesome, though it DOES instill
                 fear in the hearts of children for some time.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    6. THE "JAWS" OF DEATH
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance wonders which way to go now, he suddenly sees a shark fin
                 swirl around him in confusion, and then, the spinning around gets
                 faster and faster, until it closes in on him; and chomping sounds
                 are heard as a pained Lance gets pulled down and eaten bit by bit,
                 and soon he vanishes, and in his place is... Fritz himself,
                 disguised as a shark the whole time, wearing a crying baby bib and
                 holding Lance's eyeball with his hook as he swallows our hero's
                 shoe in a single gulp.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  Lance gets eaten up by Fritz somehow.  But if Fritz chomps
                 up Lance's feet first, then why is his shoe in Fritz's mouth
                 somehow?  And his holding up Lance's eyeball... uuuggghhh!  That
                 makes me wanna ralph.  And the bib of a crying baby... somehow it
                 has the intention of traumatizing children about our hero getting
                 eaten by Fritz the shark.  Otherwise, it's pretty gruesome as it
                 is.  Even "Jaws" fans can wet their pants in fright at this!
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    7. HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance wonders for a bit, all of a sudden he gets sliced
                 horizontally in half by a sword.  Just then Fritz, the
                 perpetrator, arrives, then blows on him, making his top half fall
                 apart onto the floor.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This one seems to be mind-numbing and pretty gruesome...
                 and yet I can't imagine what kids are feeling when they saw this
                 scene back in the old days.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (7/10) [* * * * * * * . . .]
    
    8. CUT HIS HEART OUT WITH AN EGG BEATER
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance wonders which way to go now, all of a sudden, at the
                 sound of a gong, he hears something from above and ducks down in
                 fright.  Just then, Fritz appears from above and pounces on him,
                 then lifts up the egg beater arm, and Lance's screams are heard
                 being drowned out by the egg beater's noise as bits of his hair
                 fly everywhere, and then a heavily damaged and battered Lance
                 emerges with his shirt ripped up, his balding hair, and his black
                 eyes as he chokes himself up.  But Fritz is not done yet, as he
                 pulls Lance back down to finish the job.
    MY THOUGHTS: Oh, the horror!  Oh, the humanity!  Lance is heavily damaged by
                 an egg beater!  Dude!  Look at his bald hair!  And his clothes!
                 It's almost as if he were a zombie!  And the look on his face
                 says, "Please kill me!  I don't want to live my life like this!"
                 Definitely not something your kids would see in a death scene like
                 this!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    9. HARPOONED LIKE A WHALE
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance is looking around, all of a sudden a harpoon tied with a
                 rope skewers him through the abdomen, and he quickly collapses
                 onto the floor before he can get it off.  Fritz, who has just
                 harpooned him to death, arrives and looks at his body in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is pretty gross.  Seriously, impaling Lance through the
                 abdomen with the harpoon... what were they THINKING?!  And there
                 is something else, too.  Notice something on his blue shirt as he
                 just got speared to death?  It kinda looks like blood... maybe
                 discolored purple blood.  Kinda odd that it's on his shirt but not
                 on the pointy end of the harpoon.  Yeah, this is the only death
                 that is kinda bloody and DEFINITELY not something kids will want
                 to see.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    10. TORN APART FROM THE INSIDE
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: While Lance wonders which way to go now, he suddenly feels a
                 discomfort in his body, then looks down at his chest and feels a
                 swelling rupture as he grunts in pain and clutches himself
                 tightly.  Suddenly there is a sound of a chicken cluck as both
                 hooks rip through his chest and shirt, and then Fritz bursts open
                 and looks around, and then rips him apart in two completely.
    MY THOUGHTS: One word: Barf!  And a few more: W! T! HHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?  This...
                 is just so... baffling... and so gruesomely disgusting.  I'm
                 TOTALLY at a loss for words.  These game programmers must have
                 been watching too many horror films and/or playing too much Mortal
                 Kombat.  Seriously, they should DEFINITELY think twice of becoming
                 an open-heart surgeon!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    11. CHARBROILED HEAD ΐ LA FLAMBΙ
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance is still standing, all of a sudden fire from some sort of
                 flamethrower torches his head and burns him up to a crisp,
                 revealing a charred skull where his head used to be.  Just then,
                 Fritz, who had just flambιed him the flamethrower, appears, then
                 blows gently away on the charbroiled skull, set to horror music.
    MY THOUGHTS: W. T. H?  Just. W. T. H?  This is definitely not family-friendly
                 death!  I'm still reeling in shock at our hero's head being
                 charbroiled to a skull.  I really think children feel the same way
                 about that death scene.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    12. GETTING HIT WAY TOO HARD ON THE HEAD
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance hesitates on where to go now, a big mallet (swung by
                 Fritz, no less) whacks him on the head so hard that he spits out
                 his own skull.  Lance's skull-less head then bobbles around
                 upside-down like a broken bobblehead doll while his body is still
                 standing before he collapses to the floor as Fritz now watches him
                 fall with a smile.
    MY THOUGHTS: Uggghhh, this one is so traumatizing!  I mean, getting whacked in
                 the head so hard that you lose your own skull?!  THIS one goes on
                 the list of "family-unfriendly deaths".
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    13. A "BLINDSIDING" ATTACK
    WHERE: Located in any part of the Crossroads.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance wonders where to go now, all of a sudden Fritz comes up
                 from behind him in front of the camera, then pokes Lance's eyes
                 with both hooks and proceeds to pull his eyeballs apart, giving
                 new meaning to the words "splitting headache"... until finally,
                 with a pull, he rips our hero apart in two by the eyeballs,
                 revealing a skeleton with a baseball cap that quickly falls into a
                 pile of bones as Fritz smiles and looks down with a gloat.
    MY THOUGHTS: We've definitely saved the worst for last, and THIS one is... just
                 ... ugggghhhh!  THIS one is THE WORST DEATH I'VE EVER SEEN!
                 PERIOD!  This one is SO gruesome, SO horrid, and SO PLAIN GROSS,
                 that I'm just at a loss for words.  This one is first class and
                 will definitely traumatize kids for years to come, right up next
                 to the second-worst death scene (having your own skull knocked off
                 of your head) right on the list.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    
    ++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.2. Haunted Rooms†
    ++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. FACE-MELTING HORROR
    WHERE: Located in the Cocoon Room if you approach from the left or right.
    OCCURS: If you don't fight off the spitting cocoons.
    DESCRIPTION: As the cocoon spits at Lance, he gets in fright as a spit of acid
                 hits his face; and he looks on in horror as the acid eats away at
                 his head, and soon his entire body melts away into goo, leaving
                 behind his eyeballs that fall away.
    MY THOUGHTS: How awful and gross!  This is pretty gruesome as dissolving acid,
                 in my opinion.  DEFINITELY not the kind of death that kids can
                 see.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    2. TANGLED UP IN THE GIANT SPIDER'S WEB
    WHERE: Located in the wine cellar if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the Giant Spider's web attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: As the Giant Spider approaches Lance from upstairs, it shoots a
                 web at him, binding him up.  It then crawls up onto his paralyzed
                 body and tackles him down to the ground, into his imminent death,
                 and a bite is heard, indicating that it has bitten him to death.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is pretty terrifying.  Getting tied up by a spider web before
                 becoming a victim to its biting attacks... this is not something
                 kids will want to see.  At least it's not graphic or gory or
                 anything.  Who knows what the biting attack would have been like?
                 And other than that... who cares?  That's terrifying enough for
                 me.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    3. THERE IS A DEADLY CENTIPEDE IN THE WINE CELLAR
    WHERE: Located in the wine cellar if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the attacks of the centipede.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance walks on, a giant centipede emerges and wraps around him.
                 Horrified at the look on its face, he tries to scream, but the
                 centipede quickly bites off his head and swallows it up as his
                 lifeless body collapses.
    MY THOUGHTS: Ugh!  This one is just... so gruesome, so frightening, and so
                 gross!  Seriously, just looking at Lance's head getting bitten off
                 by a giant centipede gives me the shivers.  This is definitely not
                 something kids will want to see at all.  Add that to the list of
                 family-unfriendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    4. NEVER SMILE AT A CROCODILE, OR ELSE...
    WHERE: Located in the Cajun Kitchen if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the crocodile wearing a chef's suit and holding a
            meat cleaver.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance hesitates a bit when the crocodile chef approaches with the
                 cleaver and, with a swish, slices our hero's head clean off from
                 his neck, causing it to fly and land on his neck in an upside-
                 down position; and his baseball cap lands onto his upside-down
                 neck as the icing on the cake while his eyes close a bit before
                 one of them opens up, possibly in embarrassment.
    MY THOUGHTS: This one is kinda disturbing in my opinion, as I saw it in one
                 Game Informer magazine back in 1996 when Lance's head is sliced
                 off, but I just didn't know who cut off his head.  Now that I have
                 seen this scene, and the way his head lands on his neck in a wrong
                 position, it kinda makes me laugh, but otherwise, this one is
                 pretty gruesome in my opinion.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    5. OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE OVEN
    WHERE: Located in the Cajun Kitchen if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the fiery hand coming out of the oven.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance looks around, a fiery hand comes out of the oven, then
                 grabs him by the neck and pulls him inside, where he is burned to
                 a crisp.
    MY THOUGHTS: Ouch!  This one DEFINITELY puts a lot of fear into the hearts of
                 children, but in NO WAY is it bloody or gory or gruesome.  At
                 least that scares the pants out of us.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    6. AN UN-BEAR-ABLE SITUATION
    WHERE: Located in the Trophy Room if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the bear rug.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance runs closer to the bear rug, it comes alive and claws him
                 up before tackling him to the ground; and there is a gory
                 discretion shot as his body parts (green ooze, eyeballs, bones,
                 baseball cap) fly all over the place, indicating that he is eaten
                 by the bear.
    MY THOUGHTS: Ugh, that is pretty gruesome AND gross in my opinion.  DEFINITELY
                 not the idea of a family-friendly death, as seeing his eyeballs
                 and body parts all over the place is just... sickening!  Who knows
                 what the attack would have been like onscreen, as it would have
                 made me wanna barf!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    7. BAT OUT OF... HEAVEN?
    WHERE: Located in the Trophy Room if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the bats coming down to attack you.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance looks at the bats flying above, one giant one drops down
                 from behind, then grabs him, turns him around to its face, then
                 bites onto his head... before playfully chewing on his hair as our
                 hero makes a confused look at it, as if it acts all cute and
                 cuddly and playful.
    MY THOUGHTS: Well, this is pretty confusing.  The first few seconds of this
                 death scene are pretty frightening at first, but then it turns all
                 playful as the bat gives Lance a heartwarming hug and bite that
                 parodies Ozzy Osbourne.  Not very gross or gruesome or heinous at
                 all.  And you call this a death scene?  This is not even a death
                 scene at all... more of a "cutesy mosquito bite" scene.  In fact,
                 this is a pretty death scene that even children would love.  For
                 the first and only time, this one is pretty enlightening and
                 comedic.  Add that one to the list of "kid-friendly deaths". ^_^
                 <3
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (1/10) [* . . . . . . . . .] 
    
    8. A DEADLY ACID BREATHER
    WHERE: Located in the Trophy Room if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you avoided the giant bat, but don't watch out for the dragon head.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance starts heading for the exit, a dragon head spits out acid
                 breath, which lands on our frightened hero, washing his flesh off
                 and revealing his skeleton with his hat on, still standing with
                 his arms raised up high.
    MY THOUGHTS: Yow!  That's truly frightening for a gruesome death scene.
                 Getting your flesh washed off by an acid-breathing dragon... not a
                 pretty sight at all.  Scratch that one off the list of family-
                 friendly deaths.  To tell you the truth, it makes that death scene
                 with the giant bat mentioned above look very tame compared to THIS
                 one!  O_O
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    9. DON'T APE WITH THE KILLER GORILLA
    WHERE: Located in the Trophy Room if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you avoided the bat and the dragon head, but not the gorilla trophy.
    DESCRIPTION: If you've already seen the atomic wedgie death scene with Moose,
                 then you know the drill: Gorilla trophy comes to life in front of
                 Lance, grabs him by the neck and shoulders, reaches for his pants,
                 grabs his underwear, and makes a killer wedgie that rips him in
                 two and pulls off his spine and pelvis.
    MY THOUGHTS: Barf.  You know what, I'm not even gonna bother with how gruesome,
                 horrifying, and disgusting that wedgie scene is, so see my
                 response to Moose's killer atomic wedgie mentioned below.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    10. WORM-ING RIGHT THROUGH YOU
    WHERE: Located in the Library if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the flesh-eating worms.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance looks at the worms in fright, one of them jumps onto his
                 chest and abdomen; and as he gets up with a groan and an "Ow," he
                 gasps in fright as he sees the worm burrowing its way through his
                 heart, then bends over screaming as it tunnels its way through and
                 bursts out his back before he emits a low, dying groan and
                 collapses onto the floor along with the worm in a lifeless
                 position with his eyes open.
    MY THOUGHTS: Uuugggghhhh!  This is just so squicky and so painful!  Seriously,
                 worms burrowing their way through you and bursting out your chest
                 with a splatter of your own liquid coming out of your body?  It
                 makes me wanna hurl.  DEFINITELY NOT an idea of a family-friendly
                 death, as it's gonna traumatize and haunt little children for
                 YEARS!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    11. THROWING THE BOOK AT YOU
    WHERE: Located in the Library if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't dodge any of the three books the librarian throws at you.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance watches in awe, the scary librarian tosses a book into
                 our hero's mouth, making it lodge into his throat and choking him
                 before he falls down lifelessly onto the floor with a groan.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This is pretty shocking.  Lance getting choked up by a book
                 getting lodged into his throat?  A little bit disturbing, as it
                 may not be something kids want to see.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    12. A LITTLE SLICE OF HELL (OR, LIKE A GHOSTLY KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER)
    WHERE: Located in the Bedroom if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: When you encounter the Jack the Ripper ghost.
    DESCRIPTION: As the slasher ghost raises its ghostly knife, Lance looks up in
                 fright before the knife cuts right through his face, which then
                 falls off as he groans, revealing a piece of meat where his face
                 used to be before he falls down dead.
    MY THOUGHTS: Seriously, WTH?!  This is just so horrifying that I can't even
                 begin to imagine what children would feel when they see our hero's
                 face get sliced off.  You should definitely think twice about
                 getting a facioplasty!  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    13. A SOUL-SUCKING EXPERIENCE
    WHERE: Located in the Bedroom if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't fight off the ghosts floating around.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance watches in fright, one of the ghosts approaches him, then
                 he looks around in confusion and fright as the ghost possesses
                 him in the chest, instantly draining the living soul out of him
                 before floating away, turning him into a withered old corpse
                 before he collapses as the ghost cackles in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This one is so horrid!  I mean, look at him!  Lance is now
                 an old fogey who has just gotten his soul sucked out of him!
                 DEFINITELY not a pretty sight, and definitely too frightening AND
                 traumatizing for children!  Scratch that one off the list of kid-
                 friendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    14. STRANGLED BY A PUPPET STRING
    WHERE: Located in the conservatory if you approach from the right.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid getting attacked by a puppet on a string.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance gasps in fright as the demonic puppet grabs him by the neck,
                 pushes him down, ties up his neck, and lifts him up slightly as
                 our hero is choked up and struggling to breathe before it whisks
                 him away into unseen death.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  How horrifying!  And those green eyes on Lance's face as he
                 gets choked up and struggling to breathe... THIS is definitely not
                 a good sign and CAN be traumatizing to children, no "strings"
                 attached!  (Sorry for the bad pun.  :P)  And what's up there after
                 he gets pulled up... you do NOT want to know!
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (7/10) [* * * * * * * . . .]
    
    15. AN ONCOMING TACKLE FROM ABOVE
    WHERE: Located at the top of the conservatory if you approach from the left.
    OCCURS: If you don't get away from Fritz as quickly as possible.  This will
            also occur if you approached from the right, defeated the puppet and
            climbed up its string, but wait too long or accidentally go to the
            organ on the right (thanks, Super8ZX, for this one).
    DESCRIPTION: Lance sees Fritz approaching in surprise and tries running away,
                 but lets out a "D'oh!" as a giggling Fritz tackles him in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This is a bit frightening, as Lance's "D'oh!" is kinda
                 reminiscent of Homer's "D'oh!" from "The Simpsons".  Otherwise,
                 not very gruesome at all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (2/10) [* * . . . . . . . .]
    
    
    +++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.3. Moose's Scenario†
    +++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. FALLING THROUGH THE GAP
    WHERE: Located in the Stairway to Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't jump over the gap to the other side.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance notices the gap in the stairway, all of a sudden Fritz
                 approaches and tackles him, making him lose his baseball cap, and
                 they both fall down screaming into our hero's imminent death
                 below.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  What on earth?!  Lance gets tackled by Fritz and falls into
                 unseen death!  This is pretty bit frightening for kids in my
                 opinion.  Otherwise, not in the least bit gruesome.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (3/10) [* * * . . . . . . .]
    
    2. MOOSE 1, LANCE 0
    WHERE: Located in the entrance of Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the stone football coming your way as soon as you
            enter.  This will also happen if you don't dodge the second stone
            football Moose throws at you.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance enters the room, all of a sudden he hears laughter... and
                 then a stone football gets tossed into his mouth, making him a
                 deformed football head with purple eyes.  He gets choked up a bit
                 before he makes an open smile and a dumb giggle as his teeth get
                 broken and fall out, and then collapses onto the floor with a
                 groan and a thud.  Scene cuts to the scoreboard atop the door that
                 says "HOME" next to a score of "172", which has now bumped up to
                 "173", while the bottom half of the scoreboard says "VISITORZ",
                 which has just scored a skull and crossbones, signifying death,
                 and there is a sound of a crowd going wild with a cheer.
    MY THOUGHTS: Seriously, what was that?  Lance gets a stone football thrown into
                 his mouth, and I just can't help but laugh!  This is totally
                 confusing and baffling, even for children.  And the sound of the
                 crowds cheering at a simple death scene?!  This is a very weird
                 and very queer death scene, in my opinion.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    3. A DEADLY CHARGE ATTACK
    WHERE: Located in the entrance of Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't dodge Moose's shoulder charge at you.
    DESCRIPTION: As Moose charges, Lance screams a bit before the former smooshes
                 him at the door.  When Moose is done, he leaves Lance flattened
                 against the door like a square pancake, with his tongue sticking
                 out and his mouth open.
    MY THOUGHTS: What?! The?! Heck?!  This is so pretty gruesome for that manner.
                 Moose has turned our hero into a Lance sandwich.  This is pretty
                 much of a crushing blow to our hero!  (Again, sorry for the bad
                 pun.  :P)  Definitely not a family-friendly death.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    4. DEATH BY ATOMIC WEDGIE
    WHERE: Located in the entrance of Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you survived the two stone footballs and Moose's shoulder charge,
            but don't watch out for his grab next.  This will also occur if you
            land on his shoulder but stay there too long and don't move left or
            right.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance watches in fright as Moose grabs him by the neck and
                 shoulders and pulls him closer.  He then watches in horror as the
                 Frankenstein's monster jerk jock reaches out for our hero's pants,
                 then grabs his underwear, causing him to wince in pain before
                 Moose splits him in two, pulling out both his spine AND his
                 pelvis!
    MY THOUGHTS: Ooohhhh, my stomach... *barfs*  Uuugggghhhh!  This wedgie is just
                 so... sickening!  This is... so... traumatizing!  The horror!
                 These game programmers DEFINITELY must have played too much
                 "Mortal Kombat" while making this game!  To quote the Marquis De
                 Singe in "Tales of Monkey Island": "Zat is ze worst wedgie I have
                 ever known!"  And it's a DEADLY, disgusting wedgie that splits
                 Lance in half AND rips off his spine and pelvis!  DEFINITELY too
                 gruesome and too gory for children, as it will traumatize them for
                 YEARS!  Add that one to the list of "family-unfriendly deaths". :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    5. BATTER UP!
    WHERE: Near the basketball net in Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't watch out for any of Moose's two baseball bat attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: As Moose raises his baseball bat to strike, Lance looks up in awe
                 before the bat hits him on the head, knocking out his earwax, his
                 snot, and his teeth and messing up his baseball cap, his head, and
                 his brain before he collapses with a groan.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  That's sick!  Sick and pretty gross!  Moose bashing Lance's
                 brains out with a heavy baseball bat... this is not something that
                 kids will want to see.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    6. NOTHING BUT CATAPULT
    WHERE: Near the basketball net in Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't jump off the basketball net pretty darn quickly.
    DESCRIPTION: Moose pulls down the basketball net with Lance on top of it, then
                 lets go of it like a catapult, sending our screaming hero flying
                 out of the castle window and into his demise.
    MY THOUGHTS: This looks so freaky, with Lance being catapulted out the window
                 by a basketball net!  Nothing too gruesome or gory here. O_O
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    7. A SHOCKING EXPLOSION
    WHERE: Located in the interior of Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the first lightning rods.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance rides Moose on piggyback, they come near the two
                 lightning rods, get zapped and explode.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude, WTH?!?!  Moose and Lance explode into bits at the touch of
                 two lightning rods?!  This is pretty frightening and horrific.
                 Scratch another one off the list of kid-friendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    8. ZAPPED LIKE BUGS
    WHERE: Located in the interior of Moose's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't dodge the next lightning rods from the other side.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance tries getting Moose to turn around at the next lightning
                 rod, Moose accidentally touches it and both of them get zapped,
                 until finally, their bodies become as gray as smoke, and both
                 blink their eyes a bit before their bodies disintegrate into
                 powder.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is totally baffling to me.  Though this scene is less intense
                 and frightening than touching the first lightning rods, it's still
                 a bit funny, but disturbing to some children.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    9. FALLING OFF THE WRONG SIDE
    WHERE: Located at the top of the elevator shaft.
    OCCURS: If you don't jump off the elevator quickly.  Also occurs if you don't
            move right or if Moose grabs you and you fall off the cliff near the
            ladder.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance jumps off the wrong side of the elevator and falls down
                 screaming as the inside of his mouth and tonsils move closer to
                 the camera.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is so frightful, but not even close to gruesome or gory
                 territory.  Definitely something to teach kids what happens if you
                 don't watch out.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (3/10) [* * * . . . . . . .]
    
    10. A SHOCKING HEAD-BASHER
    WHERE: Located at the top of the lightning tower.
    OCCURS: If you don't run away from the mechanism before Moose makes it to the
            top of the ladder.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance watches in fright, Moose gets to the top of the ladder,
                 then grabs him and, with a swift punch, knocks his head clean off,
                 then looks at his headless neck in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This is just sickening, shocking, and horrifying!  This is
                 not something your kids will want to see, as they could get
                 traumatized for ages! :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (7/10) [* * * * * * * . . .]
    
    11. A BODY-SMASHING FALL
    WHERE: Located near the lightning tower.
    OCCURS: If you don't watch out for Fritz's incoming attack after defeating
            Moose.
    DESCRIPTION: Fritz jumps on top of Lance from the top of the tower, then
                 smashes his body on top of him, then grabs him as they both fall
                 off the tower.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude, what is that?  This looks kinda frightening and horrific for
                 a death scene that is a bit unfriendly for children.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.4. Vivi's Funeral Salon Scenario†
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. TINY SPIDER, HUGE BITE
    WHERE: Located in the interior of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: After Vivi tosses Fritz into a spiked coffin, but before you blow a
            tiny spider away.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance watches, a tiny spider swings its web from behind, then
                 without warning, it latches onto his face as he tries shaking his
                 head in an attempt to push it away; and then, in a manner worthy
                 of Imperfect Cell, it takes a bite and absorbs his entire body in
                 a gulp, leaving behind his spider web barber cloth before heading
                 back up as a full, big spider.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  What?!  This is very shocking and very frightening!  A tiny
                 little spider, swallowing up Lance's entire body in a single gulp!
                 And all the while Vivi has left him unattended as she is too busy
                 distracting Fritz and keeping him waiting!  This is so horrible,
                 as it should teach people a lesson not to leave their children
                 unattended, as they might get caught, or worse... ulp!  DEFINITELY
                 not something children will want to see, as it will traumatize
                 them for YEARS!  Add THAT to the list of family-unfriendly deaths.
                 O_O
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    2. THE DEADLY KISS OF THE VAMPIRESS
    WHERE: Located in the interior of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: If you don't make a choice of either a shave, manicure, or facial
            quickly enough.
    DESCRIPTION: As the now-gagged Lance is pondering on which poison to pick, Vivi
                 is all suddenly like, "Screw that, I'm taking a bite anyway."
                 Without warning, she turns his head over to her side, very gently,
                 then quickly pulls down his barber cloth AND his shirt and jacket,
                 exposing his neck and bare chest and man nipples (Wow!  That's
                 hot! O_O) before aiming for his vital spot (i.e., his heart).  She
                 takes a bite and sucks out all of his blood, turning him from a
                 normal, healthy person into a withered, shriveled up, skeletal
                 mummy-like corpse before putting him down with a pant; and then
                 feels uneasy as she lets out a belch, then puts her hand to her
                 mouth with a giggle, satisfied that she has just finished her
                 meal.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This is just terrifying!  At first I thought she was just
                 gonna sexually assault him or something, as I can see that Lance's
                 exposed bare chest and man nipples have made him so hot!  But then
                 ... her red eyes... the horror!  Lance has just been sucked dry of
                 blood from his heart!  And the look on his body... *shudders*
                 This is horrifying!  Truly horrifying!  And to top it all off, she
                 BELCHES like a sick vampiress, as if this is her first time she is
                 fully satisfied with her meal without getting fat!  This is
                 definitely not something children would want to see, not even in
                 her sex appeal, and not even in what looks like a blood-porn scene
                 like this one!  O_O  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    3. A DANGEROUSLY CLOSE SHAVE
    WHERE: Located in the shaving section of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: If you chose the shave option but don't watch out for Vivi's deadly
            scythe.
    DESCRIPTION: After spraying the shaving cream onto Lance's still-gagged mouth,
                 Vivi, with a swing of her little deadly scythe, cuts off not just
                 his long hair but also his head, making it knock off onto the
                 mirror and bounce onto the floor in front of his seated body.  She
                 then looks at his body and his now short-haired head (with his cap
                 still in his mouth!) in sympathy and says, "Awww, did I do that?"
    MY THOUGHTS: OMG!  W.T.H.?!  That vampiress has just cut off Lance's head in a
                 dangerous way that parodies even Sweeney Todd!  And set to the
                 same creepy, descending Spanish guitar music used in the wall-
                 crashing death scene with one of the witches (see below)!  She
                 even feigns sympathy for him... and quotes Steve Urkel from
                 "Family Matters" with that "Did I do that?" catchphrase.  Man,
                 even in death, Lance still seems pretty cuter with short hair...
                 for a little while anyway.  Otherwise, this one is pretty
                 disturbing and traumatizing.  Not a sight for kids' sore eyes.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    4. A LITTLE OFF THE SHOULDER
    WHERE: Located in the shaving section of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: If you survived Vivi's dangerous scythe, but not the deadly mirror with
            a knife.
    DESCRIPTION: After Vivi leaves, a wardrobe mirror comes to life in front of
                 Lance, and without warning, it finishes the job by using a giant
                 knife to cut off his head AND his shoulders and top half, making
                 it bounce off the chair and let go of his cap from his mouth
                 before they fall, his head onto the floor, his cap fluttering onto
                 his lap.
    MY THOUGHTS: Uuuggghhhh!  This is so... so sickening!  It really makes me wanna
                 vomit.  And did I just see a man nipple sticking out of the cut
                 barber cloth when Lance's top half fell off?  Also, the way his
                 head closes its eyes and opens its mouth to let go of the cap/gag
                 after it gets cut off... what a sickening sight!  Barf!  This one
                 is TRULY traumatizing and too disturbing for kids to see.  Add
                 THAT one to the list of family-unfriendly deaths.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    5. A DEADLY MANICURE
    WHERE: Located in the manicure section of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: If you survived the whole shaving section and chose the manicure, but
            don't watch out for Vivi's dangerous attempts.
    DESCRIPTION: With Lance's hand on the chopping block, Vivi takes out a meat
                 cleaver to his surprise, and, with a swipe of the blade, she cuts
                 his hand clean off, making it fly off the chopping block table and
                 onto the other side, causing him to wince in pain.  She then lets
                 go of the cleaver and again says, with a bit of sympathy, "Awww,
                 did I do that?"  He then goes into shock from all the pain of his
                 hand getting cut off, then closes his eyes and lets out a dying
                 groan as his head and body collapse face down onto the table in a
                 dead faint.
    MY THOUGHTS: W! T! HHHHHHH!?  This... this is truly shocking!  A deadly
                 manicure's "Simon Says" minigame that all goes horribly wrong with
                 a slice of his hand!  How horrifying!  O_O  And again, with Vivi's
                 feigned sympathy for Lance... and the same "Did I do that?" Steve
                 Urkel quote from "Family Matters".  Well, I've been wondering: How
                 come people survive getting their hands cut off or amputated while
                 Lance just goes into shock and dies from the loss of his hand?
                 This is all truly... baffling for me.  :?  Anyway, getting your
                 hand cut off is not a pretty sight for children to see.  Add yet
                 ANOTHER one to the list of family-unfriendly deaths.  :P :P :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    6. A "BEAUTIFUL" DEATH
    WHERE: Located in the facial section of Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    OCCURS: If you chose the facial but don't escape the Mortifier-Beautifier.
    DESCRIPTION: At Vivi's press of her remote control, the mechanical powder puffs
                 of the Mortifier-Beautifier turn on, then close in on Lance's head
                 and screw it up real good.  The deathly spinning machinery lasts a
                 few seconds before the scene cuts to a close-up of the mechanical
                 powder puffs slowing down to a stop, then opening up to reveal...
                 a polished skull with a baseball cap where his head used to be,
                 complete with a fairy music jingle.
    MY THOUGHTS: OMG!  This truly is facial horror.  Sparkly music notwithstanding,
                 the Mortifier-Beautifier has reduced Lance's head to a skull.
                 This is sheer horror that kids definitely don't want to see.
                 Scratch that off the list of family-friendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    7. OUT OF THE BEAUTIFIER AND INTO THE FIRE
    WHERE: Located in the facial section of Vivi's Funeral Salon near the exit.
    OCCURS: If you escaped the Mortifier-Beautifier but don't press the remote
            control.  This also occurs after Lance defeats Vivi by the Mortifier-
            Beautifier and shouts, "Hey, Viv!  I'll take a rain check on that...
            bite!", but doesn't watch out for Fritz's oncoming attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: After escaping from the Mortifier-Beautifier and landing into
                 Fritz, Lance wonders what to do now before Fritz gets up, grabs
                 him by the neck with his hook hand, and turns on his spiked arm.
                 While Lance is still struggling to escape, Fritz presses his
                 spiked arm onto our hero's throat, and in a few seconds, he rips
                 Lance's head clean off from his neck with an "Ow!"
    MY THOUGHTS: Uuuuggghhhh!  This is a mix between sickening, shocking, and
                 traumatizing in all three ways!  This is truly traumatizing horror
                 in all its gory... er, glory, and all set to the same creepy,
                 descending Spanish guitar used when Vivi had cut off his head.
                 This one can traumatize children for many years to come.
                 Definitely not a pretty sight at all.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.5. The Witches' Scenario†
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    (NOTE: Since one of the witches' rooms has the exact mirror image of the other
    witch's room, I'm gonna have to apply to both witches' rooms, starting with the
    Red Witch room.  And when I say "Red Witch", I, of course, imply it to both the
    Red AND Blue Witches.) 
    
    1. BLACK CATS ARE BAD LUCK
    WHERE: Located in the Red Witch's room entrance.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the attack of the black cat.
    DESCRIPTION: A black cat sees Lance, then, without warning, scene cuts to
                 Lance's point of view as the cat yowls and gets into a LITERAL cat
                 fight as his vision fades.  Scene cuts back to a cloud of dust
                 surrounding Lance's head along with the cat, then the cat scampers
                 away, revealing our hero's shocked head with claw marks before
                 bits and pieces of it fall off along with his hair and baseball
                 cap.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  WTH?!  This is pretty gruesome as a black cat shredding
                 Lance's head into bits!  And that HURTS!  Ouch!  This is not
                 something your kids will want to see to describe what happens when
                 you cross paths with a black cat!  :S
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    2. PUMPKIN BOMBS AWAY!
    WHERE: Located in the Red Witch's room entrance.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the first attack of the Red Witch.
    DESCRIPTION: After a bit of a cackle for a few seconds, the Red Witch throws a
                 pumpkin bomb on Lance's head, and with a POOF of green smoke, its
                 explosion turns him into a skeleton with a baseball cap that falls
                 off, followed by the scene exploding with stars, jack-o-lanterns
                 and skulls.
    MY THOUGHTS: What?!?!  This is so outright bizarre, the Red Witch turning Lance
                 into a skeleton with the explosion of the pumpkin bomb.  And THEN
                 we get treated to a BLAM scene of fireworks, stars, jack-o-
                 lanterns, and skulls.  This is a creepy, confusing, and best of
                 all a biggest WTH death scene.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    3. NOT WATCHING YOUR HEAD
    WHERE: Located in the Red Witch's skull room.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the bones on the shelf.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance runs away from the Red Witch, he doesn't notice the shelf
                 of skulls and bones in front of him.  All of a sudden, his head
                 knocks off the bone and gets squeezed onto a shelf near a skull
                 with an "Oof!", then he finds that his head gets stuck and gets
                 stangled to death.
    MY THOUGHTS: The heck?!  How come Lance's head gets caught in a shelf that
                 strangles him when he's not watching where he's going?!  This is
                 so weird and baffling.  :?  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    4. LUNCH FOR THE WITCH
    WHERE: Located in the Red Witch's skull room.
    OCCURS: If you don't keep running away from the Red Witch.
    DESCRIPTION: The Red Witch flies right past Lance before returning to him, then
                 without warning she rams him toward the wall, cornering him.  She
                 then uses her "evil eye" look on him, draining him of energy as he
                 groans before he collapses.  Scene then cuts to the Red Witch
                 stirring her pot as she looks at the cookbook, then she pulls him
                 by the head from her pot with her ladle, and he looks on with
                 confusion and muffled fright before she places him back into the
                 pot and stirs some more.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude, what?!  That witch has just rendered Lance unconscious with
                 her evil eye attack, and then she uses him for stew!  Ugh!  That
                 means that it's only a matter of time before she has him for
                 lunch!  This is a little bit gruesome, and a bit of fridge horror,
                 in my opinion.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    5. ANOTHER CATFIGHT
    WHERE: Located in the further interior of the Red Witch's room.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the pounce of the black cat.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance is running from the Red Witch, the black cat makes a
                 pounce onto him, and goes into a catfight before leaving, this
                 time leaving our hero's body shredded into bits.
    MY THOUGHTS: You know what?  I'm not even gonna bother by how much of the same
                 pain is inflicted as when the cat attacked Lance's face, so see
                 my comment on the "Black Cats Are Bad Luck" death scene.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    6. CRASHING INTO DINNERTIME
    WHERE: Occurs in the secret chamber of the Red Witch's room
    OCCURS: If you grabbed one of the eyeballs but don't escape the Red Witch.
            This will also happen if you escaped into the outside of the tower but
            don't avoid the witch's ramming attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance has grabbed one of the eyeballs and put it in his pocket,
                 but then the scene cuts to Lance's point of view as the Red Witch
                 crashes into him, followed by another scene exploding with stars,
                 jack-o-lanterns and skulls.  Scene then cuts to... the Red Witch
                 stirring her pot as she looks at the cookbook, then she pulls him
                 by the head from her pot with her ladle, and he looks on with
                 confusion and muffled fright before she places him back into the
                 pot and stirs some more.
    MY THOUGHTS: Again, this scene is so baffling to me, because the witch crashes
                 into our hero, and we get yet a BLAM scene of fireworks AND the
                 cooking scene.  Still confusing, and STILL not good at all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    7. JUMPING OFF BY DUMB LUCK
    WHERE: Located outside the Red Witch's Tower.
    OCCURS: If you avoided the Red Witch's ramming attacks, but miss jumping onto
            one statue OR the Red Witch.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance goes off to the edge of the tower, and tries waiting for the
                 witch to arrive; he tries jumping onto the statue, but misses in a
                 clumsy move and falls down screaming before his body crashes onto
                 the floor.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is the same frightening scene that we saw as when we tried
                 entering the elevator BEFORE beating the bosses, only to find that
                 there IS no elevator.  Still too frightening, but falling down
                 with a splat?  That's gonna leave a mark.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    8. A LITTLE CRASH IN THE WALL
    WHERE: Occurs outside the tower of the Red Witch.
    OCCURS: If you don't get off the witch's broom after riding it along.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance steers the Red Witch off hoping to defeat her, they both
                 accidentally ram into the wall of the castle and crash with a
                 splat, and both hats flutter off their heads slowly while creepy
                 descending guitar music plays on and their bodies still remain on
                 the wall.
    MY THOUGHTS: Seriously, what was that?  It's a bit creepy and disturbing when
                 both Lance and the witch crash into the wall together, but even
                 a bit disturbing is when her arm is on his back as if they were in
                 love... or in deathly love, at least.  A bit funny, but disturbing
                 nonetheless.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.6. The Maze Scenario (I)†
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. DEATH FROM THE BALCONY
    WHERE: Located in the balcony near the garden.
    OCCURS: If you don't jump off the balcony and enter the maze.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance hears a growl and looks behind him, Fritz pounces on him
                 and tackles him, tearing off his clothing like a maniac, and they
                 both fall off the balcony; and Lance's voice is heard screaming as
                 he plunges to his impending demise while his cap flies off a bit
                 before it falls down with him.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This death is a bit shocking, to say the least.  Not a
                 family-friendly death, but hey, at least it's not graphic, right?
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    2. WHICH WAY?  ALL OF THEM
    WHERE: Located in one part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: While Lance is looking wondering where to go, Fritz quickly
                 approaches him from behind, then uses both hooks to trisect Lance,
                 making his three pieces collapse in a messy heap before Fritz
                 smiles in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Still the same old three-way spilt thing that we saw in the
                 Crossroads.  Still not my way of describing it as kid-friendly, so
                 why bother?
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    3. ENSNARED BY A TEMPTING VINE
    WHERE: Located in another part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go or if you go the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance looks around, there is a vine that creeps up behind him.
                 He quickly turns around, but notices that the vine has passed him.
                 Still confused with a "Huh?" he turns back around and sees the
                 vine close to him, in a surprise attack, the vine quickly wraps
                 around him.  Before he knows what's happening, the vine squeezes
                 him, binding his chest and arms, then pulls him off to his
                 imminent demise.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  WTH?!  That vine sure confuses us, but the way the vine
                 wraps around Lance and entangles him is downright horrifying!
                 Nothing gross so far, but hey, at least the vine didn't rip him to
                 shreds or anything.  Otherwise, this scene is very baffling to us.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    4. EATEN BY AN AMPHIBIAN
    WHERE: Located in any part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go or if you go the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance looks around in confusion, suddenly a strange tongue
                 wraps around his neck, chokes him with his face in discoloration,
                 and pulls him away from the scene.  Camera then moves to a giant
                 frog, which then burps out Lance's hat, indicating one thing: Our
                 hero has just been eaten up by a man-eating frog.
    MY THOUGHTS: Yow!  This frog has just swallowed Lance, and there is no sign of
                 anything graphic or grisly.  However, the way the frog's tongue
                 chokes him up before he gets pulled away and eaten is really
                 frightening.  Not in the least bit kid-friendly.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (6/10) [* * * * * * . . . .]
    
    5. A LITERAL DEAD END
    WHERE: Located in any part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you go the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance runs off to what he thinks is the exit, the two silver
                 gates suddenly close behind him.  He then finds out that he ran
                 into a dead end, then notices a vine approaching before he runs to
                 the locked gate with a scream and grabs the bars in an attempt to
                 open the gate, all in vain.  Just then the vine grabs him by the
                 neck and pulls him into the deadly hedge of thorns.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is pretty frightening.  Going to what you think is the exit,
                 only to find that there is no way out before the vine pulls you
                 into unseen death by the hedge of thorns... this is downright
                 scary!  Pretty close to gruesome, but no cigar, though this
                 frightening scene will be implanted in children's brains.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    6. AN ANATOMIZING SNARE
    WHERE: Located in any part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go or if you go the wrong way
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance starts moving around, all of a sudden another vine comes
                 near him.  He quickly stops and tries running away, but the vine
                 quickly grabs him by the neck like a crack of the whip, and pulls
                 his entire skeleton off of his body, causing his empty, lifeless
                 skin, eyes and clothing to flop onto the ground.
    MY THOUGHTS: WHAAAAAAAATTT?!  W! T! HHHHHHHHHH!!!  This is so horrifying AND
                 gruesome!  A deadly vine that can rip your entire skeleton off of
                 your body... *shudder* I'm totally at a loss for words now. :o
                 Seriously, that gruesome, traumatizing image is gonna implant into
                 children's brains and haunt them for AGES!  Not a pretty sight at
                 all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    7. A DEADLY, SPIKY END
    WHERE: Located in one part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you go down on the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance runs down to what he thinks is the right path, and then,
                 without warning, a trap door opens up from underneath him, and he
                 falls down screaming, leaving his cap behind.  A burst of leaves
                 comes flying upward before they fall along with the cap, and the
                 scene cuts to... a pit of deadly spikes, with his hair and his
                 baseball cap caught up in them and totally damaged and pierced, as
                 all that remains of our hero.
    MY THOUGHTS: *Shudder* Oooohhh... This... what more do I have to say?  This is
                 truly horrifying.  I'm at a loss for words.  Getting impaled by a
                 pit of spikes... This image will burn into children's brains for
                 years to come.  Again, not a pretty sight at all.  O_O
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    8. A DEADLY SNAKEBITE
    WHERE: Located in another part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you hesitate on which way to go.
    DESCRIPTION: If you have already seen the death scene with the creepy
                 centipede, you know the drill: A giant snake coils around Lance,
                 who sees creature hiss, screams, and tries getting away; snake
                 bites off his head and swallows it, but this time the cap flies
                 off his head and lands onto the snake's for comedic effect, just
                 before the snake bites off the head.
    MY THOUGHTS: I'm still in the same shock as when the centipede had bitten off
                 Lance's head.  At least his cap flies in fright onto the snake's
                 head for comedy relief, but still, this whole thing is so wretched
                 and traumatizing, kinda reminiscent of "Resident Evil".
                 DEFINITELY not a kid-friendly death.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    9. A BAD MUSHROOM SAMBA TRIP
    WHERE: Located in another part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you go the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance runs to what he thinks is the right way, scene cuts to
                 mushrooms with skulls on their caps against a hedge wall.  As he
                 walks closer, the mushrooms suddenly jump up in front of him, and
                 he gets confused on what's going on.  One of them bounces up, and
                 at first the music gets all so cute and cuddly for a short
                 while... but then the mushroom looks at him and gets into a bit of
                 a snarl, and our hero quickly braces himself as the mushroom
                 explodes into spores that cover his entire body, which turns
                 purple with a poisonous effect before tiny mushrooms sprout onto
                 his fingers, then his arms, and finally his whole body.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  Seriously, just WTH?  This scene looks so hilariously bad,
                 it kinda looks like a fantasy mushroom version of an acid trip,
                 done entirely by someone who's on LSD.  This mushroom scene is
                 either teaching kids to do drugs, or it looks more like it's
                 showing them what will happen to a child if s/he eats way too much
                 magic mushrooms or... in other words... takes too much LSD.  For
                 me, this funny mushroom scene is kinda leaning toward the latter,
                 though it may get in the wrong age and make it lean toward the
                 former.  My advice to you kids, in the words of Mr. Mackey from
                 "South Park": "Shrooms are baaad, mmmmmkay?"  XD
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    10. IN ONE HEDGE AND OUT THE OTHER SIDE
    WHERE: Located in another part of the maze.
    OCCURS: If you go the wrong way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance takes the wrong path, he accidentally runs toward the
                 hedge wall and goes in with a yelp... and quickly comes back out
                 as a skeleton with a hat and hair and bits of torn clothing, who
                 give out the last "Owww!" before what is left of him collapses
                 onto the floor.
    MY THOUGHTS: WHAT?!  O_O  WTH?!  This is just so gruesome and so wrong on so
                 many levels!  I'm so speechless, words can't describe how
                 hilariously shocked I am about this scene.  This one should leave
                 a bad influence onto children's brains and leave a lasting
                 impression for generations.  Add this one as another on the list
                 of family-unfriendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.7. The Giant Statue Scenario (II)†
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. A DEADLY ACID TRAP
    WHERE: Located near the entrance of the garden of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you don't jump off any of the collapsing tiles on a vat of acid.
    DESCRIPTION: As the acid forms underneath one of the ground tiles Lance is
                 standing on, he wobbles on and loses his balance, then falls into
                 acid trap with a splash that makes the tile fly before it lands
                 onto him, crushing him.  Camera cuts to the ground of acid seeping
                 out, with his hands rising in vain from the acid: one of them
                 clutching one tile, the other twitching a bit before becoming
                 still, with his cap fluttering down onto his now-lifeless hand.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dear God... This... is very, truly horrifying.  This is exactly
                 like the close-up of the hands I saw in one Game Informer magazine
                 back in 1996.  It made me feel queasy as a teen before, and it
                 still makes me queasy and nauseous even now.  This is a terrifying
                 scene that is not something kids will want to see.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    2. A DIP IN THE FOUNTAIN OF DEATH
    WHERE: Located in the acid fountain in the garden of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you don't grab onto a gargoyle statue on the fountain of acid.
    DESCRIPTION: As the ground of acid forms underneath the tile Lance is standing
                 on, he wobbles and loses his balance, then falls into the fountain
                 of acid below.  Scene cuts to the bubbling acid in the fountain,
                 in which his cap and skull and bits of his hair are all that's
                 left of him as it floats away.
    MY DESCRIPTION: This is pretty much a bit worse than when Lance fell into an
                    acid trap under the collapsing ground tiles.  The way the acid
                    washes the flesh off of his bones and his head... that's gonna
                    leave a big black mark on children who play this game.  Not a
                    pretty sight at all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    3. HELLO, GOODBYE
    WHERE: Located in the acid fountain in the garden of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you grabbed onto the gargoyle statue but remain on it for too long.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance clutches onto the statue, he says to it, "Hiya, pal,"
                 before its eyes glow red, and without warning, it spits acid on
                 him, washing away his flesh and turning him into a skeleton with
                 his fleshy arms and his cap on, still clutching onto the statue.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  WTH?  This is so hilarious and horrifying at the same time!
                 Lance suddenly says, "Hiya, pal," to a statue for no reason, and
                 then, this suddenly becomes "Dude, not funny!"  This is so
                 hilariously bad.  Teens might find it as funny nightmare fuel, but
                 kids, on the other hand, should just stay away from this scene. :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    4. MISSED ME YET?
    WHERE: Located in the acid fountain in the garden of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you don't dodge the next wave of acid-spitting gargoyles.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance sees more gargoyle statues about to spit acid, he gets
                 surprised and dodges the first acid attack, then gets back up with
                 a "Hah!" and blows a raspberry at them with his tongue; but then
                 another spray of acid hits his face, revealing a hideous skull
                 where his tongue-sticking head used to be, before his lower jaw
                 drops open and falls down to the ground.
    MY THOUGHTS: Oh, God, this is very awful and hideous.  Sure, this scene gets
                 funny within the first few seconds, but then, it suddenly gets not
                 so funny and WAY TOO GRUESOME and traumatizing for children.
                 Kinda like a lesson to kids about what happens when they stick out
                 their tongue at other people.  DEFINITELY not a funny sight at
                 all, IMO.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    5. CLOSE TO THE TOP, BUT NO CIGAR
    WHERE: Located in the bottom half of the acid fountain near the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you don't time your swinging jumps just right.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance grabs onto the pole and somersaults up, he makes a clumsy
                 move and launches upward, but then his bottom hits the tall pole
                 and he makes a clumsy landing, hitting himself head first and
                 going into a concussion before he falls into the acid below.
    MY THOUGHTS: Ouch!  That DEFINITELY must have hurt!  And to add insult to
                 injury, he plunges into the acid pool below!  DEFINITELY not a
                 pretty sight.  Scratch that one again off the list of kid-friendly
                 deaths.  O_O :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (7/10) [* * * * * * * . . .]
    
    6. WASHED AWAY BY ACID VOMIT
    WHERE: Located at the top of the fountain.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the Giant Statue's vomit attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: If you already saw the death scene with the acid-breathing dragon,
                 you know the drill: Giant Statue vomits out acid on the frightened
                 Lance, washing his flesh off and revealing his skeleton with his
                 hat on, still standing with his arms raised up high.
    MY THOUGHTS: Uuuuggghhh!  Still gruesome after that death scene with the dragon
                 in the Trophy Room, and this looks exactly like the one I saw in
                 Game Informer magazine back in 1996.  Still traumatizing, still
                 gruesome, and still grisly, and STILL not something kids will want
                 to see.  Add that AGAIN to the list of family-unfriendly deaths.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    7. SKEWERED LIKE A SHISHKABOB
    WHERE: Located at the top of the fountain.
    OCCURS: If you don't avoid the Giant Statue's javelin attack.
    DESCRIPTION: As the Giant Statue plunges its javelin downward, Lance gives out
                 a scream of fright before the javelin's pointy end hits his chest
                 and knocks him down to the ground, propelling his legs and feet up
                 into the air, and at once his foot twitches before becoming still.
    MY THOUGHTS: OUCH!  Again!!!  Just W.T.H.?!  O_O  Seeing Lance get impaled by a
                 giant javelin must have been VERY traumatizing and horrid!  This
                 is NOT a very pretty death scene your kids will want to see.  Add
                 THAT one yet AGAIN to the list of family-unfriendly deaths as
                 "horrific".  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    8. JUMPED TOO LATE
    WHERE: Located at the top of the fountain.
    OCCURS: If you don't climb up onto the Giant Statue in the right way.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance tries getting onto the Giant Statue while trying to avoid
                 its javelin attacks, he tries getting onto the javelin, but too
                 late, as it lifts up again before he could reach it, and he grabs
                 onto air before knocking his head onto hard stone and falling off
                 into the acid fountain below.
    MY THOUGHTS: WTH?!  This is so weird and hilariously bad, as Lance has just
                 made a bad move.  Definitely the same old "adding insult to
                 injury".  Scratch that one yet again off the list of kid-friendly
                 deaths.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (7/10) [* * * * * * * . . .]
    
    9. SQUISHED LIKE A BUG
    WHERE: Located on the head of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you don't grab the wires that connect to the power source jewel.
            This will also occur after you grab the wires, but remain on its head
            too long.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance is lying still for a moment, all of a sudden the Giant
                 Statue uses its hand to smack its head, crushing him.  It then
                 pulls its hand away and sees Lance as flat as a pancake on its
                 hand, then smears his... let's just say... paint mess... on its
                 chest.
    MY THOUGHTS: UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!  *Barf*  So horrifying and gruesome at the same
                 time!  Our hero has DEFINITELY become a Lance sandwich, but...
                 getting smeared like paint?!  Yuckarooney!  Barf City!  Totally
                 out of hand and not a pretty sight at all!  This one will leave a
                 lasting im-PRESS-ion on children! (Again with the pretty lame pun.
                 :P )
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *] [tied]
    
    10. MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH
    WHERE: Located at the top of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you avoided getting crushed by the Giant Statue but don't cling onto
            the javelin.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance tries jumping onto the hilt of the javelin again after
                 avoiding the Giant Statue's hand, but misses and falls down
                 screaming into the acid fountain... again... with a splash.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is the same as trying to jump onto the javelin for the first
                 time, but without knocking his head onto hard stone.  Still, this
                 is a little more frightening, and definitely not good at all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    11. FLUNG INTO THE JAWS OF DEATH
    WHERE: Located at the top of the Giant Statue.
    OCCURS: If you cling onto the hilt of the giant javelin for too long.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance clings onto the javelin's hilt, it gives a violent shake
                 and catapults him off, sending him screaming and flying as the
                 inside of his mouth and tonsils move closer to the camera.  Scene
                 cuts back to the maze, which now has a giant yellow venus flytrap,
                 which gets up and sees Lance flying closer and rubs its leafy
                 hands together, then goes in for the kill as he gets flung into
                 the jaws of the plant, which snap shut before it swallows him with
                 a gulp and licks its lips as its meal is complete before going
                 back into the maze.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This is way past horrifying and VERY scary in my opinion.
                 That plant looks a bit like Audrey in "Little Shop of Horrors",
                 but being swallowed up by the plant after making it this far is
                 very sick, gruesome, and too horrifying for kids to see.  Once
                 again, not a very pretty sight to see!  O_O
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.8. Fritz's Grand Stairway†
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    NOTE: This and the Brain Chamber can only be accessed AFTER you have beaten all
    four of the sub-bosses before going onto the elevator in either Skull Hallway.
    
    1. THE LAST LAUGH
    WHERE: Located at the bottom of the Grand Stairway.
    OCCURS: After Fritz falls off the long stairway, but you do not grab the sword.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance laughs at the long trek that Fritz falls off the stairs,
                 our hero suddenly stops as he wonders what to do to attack Fritz.
                 Suddenly, the little imp comes up from behind him and... jumps up
                 and uses both hooks to trisect him, making his three pieces
                 collapse in a messy heap before Fritz smiles in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  This looks exactly like the same three-way split Fritz has
                 made in any part of the Crossroads and in the Fireplace, and also
                 in the maze.  Again, not my way of describing death as
                 "family-friendly"!  As usual, not something your kids will want to
                  see. :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    2. THE GRAND STAIRWAY CHAINSAW MASSACRE
    WHERE: Located at the bottom of the Grand Stairway.
    OCCURS: After you grab the sword but don't know what to do with it against
            Fritz.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance is confused about when to attack Fritz, so he acts brave and
                 ... makes a stupid move by using his "talk to the hand" position
                 in an attempt to make Fritz stop.  Unfortunately, that is a stupid
                 mistake, as Fritz's chainsaw arm slices into our hero, and pieces
                 of his skin and clothing and paint mess fly and land onto the
                 camera lens, covering it up completely.  Scene then cuts to Fritz,
                 covered in Lance's eyeballs, skin pieces and baseball cap, right
                 next to our hero's still standing bottom half, still with his
                 pieces all over the floor, and then, the hunchbacked little imp
                 rapidly shakes them all off with a smile and a victorious laugh.
    MY THOUGHTS: Baaarrrrrfffff!!!  So messy!  What a truly messy death scene!
                 Seriously, WTH?!  Fritz has truly massacred Lance with a chainsaw!
                 And the truly gross part of it is his body parts, skin pieces and
                 clothing pieces covering up the camera lens!  It could have been
                 bloody, you know, but... again... *barfs again offscreen*
                 Uugghhh!  This is a truly gruesome death scene that your kids
                 DEFINITELY don't want to see!  :P :P :P :P :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (10/10) [* * * * * * * * * *]
    
    3. KNOCKED OFF THE STAIRS
    WHERE: Located on the first or fourth flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you don't fend off against the pickaxe- (or hammer) wielding Fritz
            and his attacks.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance wonders what to do, Fritz suddenly knocks him off the
                 stairs with his pickaxe, making him lose his mace and fall down
                 onto the ground with a splat.
    MY THOUGHTS: Okay, this is a bit disturbing.  Getting knocked off the stairs
                 and breaking your neck in the fall... ouch!  That one's gonna make
                 kids feel bad in the morning.  :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (5/10) [* * * * * . . . . .]
    
    4. A SLICE OF BRAIN DAMAGE
    WHERE: Located on the second or fifth flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you don't fend off against the sword- (or razor) wielding Fritz.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance tries to fend off against Fritz, the hunchbacked little
                 imp jumps up behind him and cuts off his crown with a swish of his
                 blade.  Lance then goes into shock before Fritz returns, and then
                 his crown and scalp fall off onto the floor, revealing his
                 damaged brain that farts as Fritz looks up in glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: Again, uuuggghhh!  This is somehow a little bit better than
                 getting mutilated by a chainsaw, but then... the damaged brain's
                 farts... ugh!  Barf!  Truly sickening in my opinion.  Again, not
                 something your kids truly want to see.  Scratch that one off the
                 list of kid-friendly deaths.  :P :P :P
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    5. WEARING YOU AS THE VICTIM
    WHERE: Located on any flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you don't fend off against the weapon-wielding Fritz.
    DESCRIPTION: Lance holds the weapon, and he and Fritz clash at each other; but
                 then the imp lifts up his hook hand to our hero's surprise, then
                 uses it to pierce though his forehead and pull it off, scalping
                 him and making him go into shock before he falls down with a dying
                 groan; and afterwards Fritz wears our hero's scalp as a hat in
                 glee.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is definitely gross.  Somehow it sets a precedent for "Kirby
                 Super Star" in which Kirby can eat up special enemies and wear
                 their hats.  But Fritz is no Kirby, and this is NOT cute, and this
                 is not funny... well, it may be funny only for those over age 12,
                 but still... The rest of those kids who play it will get disturbed
                 for YEARS!  In other words, THIS is not something they want to
                 see!  -_-
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    6. SPLIT IN HALF
    WHERE: Located on the third flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you fight off Fritz for a bit but don't make the correct moves.
    DESCRIPTION: As both hero and nemesis clash, Fritz make a move and slices Lance
                 in half, and both halves fall off the stairs as Fritz watches.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  THIS is very sick, but not as sick as the next move that I
                 will describe below.  Definitely not something kids will want to
                 see, as it is a bit gruesome for my taste.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (8/10) [* * * * * * * * . .]
    
    7. FALLING INTO PIECES (OR, ALL FALL DOWN)
    WHERE: Located on the third flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you fight off Fritz for a bit but don't make the correct moves.
    DESCRIPTION: As both hero and nemesis clash, Fritz knocks the hockey stick off
                 Lance's hands, making him defenseless, and then, with a few
                 slashes of the axe, our hero's legs fall off the stairs first,
                 followed by his torso and bottom half, and then his abdomen and
                 arms, and finally his head, as his pieces all fall down; Fritz
                 meanwhile, watches him fall in pieces, and then gives off a smile
                 of glee and laughter.
    MY THOUGHTS: Oh, dear God... poor Lance!  His dying whine as he gets hacked
                 into pieces... not a pretty sound.  And his pieces all fall apart
                 ... how sickening!  Not something kids will want to see OR hear,
                 as the dying whine will give them nightmares for ages!
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    8. A SURPRISE TACKLE
    WHERE: Located on the third flight of stairs.
    OCCURS: If you beat Fritz but don't get off.
    DESCRIPTION: After Lance smashes Fritz with a hockey stick, the little imp
                 suddenly recovers and looks at him, then tackles him down the
                 stairs into unseen death.
    MY THOUGHTS: This is definitely not the way to describe it as family-friendly
                 death!  I mean, getting tackled down the stairs after beating
                 Fritz?  This is pretty lame, but not gruesome.  Still not good at
                 all.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    †2.9. The Final Confrontation†
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    
    1. TURNED INTO SWISS CHEESE
    WHERE: Located in the Brain Chamber.
    OCCURS: If you don't think fast on what to do or where to move.  Also occurs if
            you don't make your dance poses, pick up the eyeballs, or use them on
            Fritz.
    DESCRIPTION: As Lance panics and wonders what to do now, Fritz charges at him
                 while shooting, and his bullets pierce through Lance's forehead
                 first, and then all over his body, consuming all of it until he is
                 reduced to nothing but his eyeballs, which fall onto the floor.
    MY THOUGHTS: Dude!  What a horrible way to die in the darkness.  Seriously,
                 getting shot full of holes until your body is nothing but your
                 eyeballs?  That's gonna leave a mark on children's heads. (Once
                 more with the bad pun!  :P )
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (9/10) [* * * * * * * * * .]
    
    2. THE FINAL HURRAH
    WHERE: Located in the darkness that remains of the Brain Chamber.
    OCCURS: After you have defeated Dr. Neurosis and Fritz, but BEFORE you escape
            the collapsing lair.
    DESCRIPTION: Having finally defeated his long-sought nemesis, Lance becomes
                 frightened that the lair is crumbling and collapsing.  As he looks
                 around in trying to escape, a crack is heard, and then a piano
                 suddenly falls on top of him, crushing him with a piano key crash
                 that causes cracks in the black floor.
    MY THOUGHTS: After so many pains of so many gruesome death scenes, you defeat
                 the final boss and think you may have finally beaten the game,
                 only to have the piano come crashing down on you as a final
                 insult.  To quote the Angry Video Game Nerd: "That's it?  I came
                 through all this torture just to be given the middle finger
                 salute?!"  At least it's a little less gruesome than being shot
                 into swiss cheese, and it may be funny, but still, this does not
                 look good.
    GRUESOME FACTOR: (4/10) [* * * * . . . . . .]
    
    
    # 3. Resurrection Scenes #
    
    Of course, no game like Brain Dead 13 would be complete without coupling death
    scenes with these counters: scenes of resurrection.  Like the Dragon's Lair
    series and Space Ace before it, Brain Dead 13 has quite many of them that
    indicate that you have to start where you left off if you die at certain
    levels, no matter how grisly or gruesome the deaths are.  So once again, I'll
    point out the terminology of resurrections that will be used in this guide:
    
    [#]. [NAME]: The number and the name of a resurrection scene in order.
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: A place the resurrection scene occurs.
    DESCRIPTION: The description of the scene explained in detail, whether nice or
                 a bit eerie.
    MY THOUGHTS: The thoughts that occur to me after seeing the scene, be they okay
                 or just plain miraculous.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: The rating that you see in crosses from one to ten in these
                    resurrection scenes, with one being "Meh, pretty unamusing",
                    five being "Pretty exciting, but I wanted more than that", and
                    ten being "Wow!  Just... plain... amazing!  :o"
    
    Without further ado, the resurrection scenes.
    
    1. BASIC RESURRECTION 1: ARISE FROM YOUR COFFIN
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: Some death scenes in the Crossroads and some haunted
                             rooms.
    DESCRIPTION: In a purple screen, dirt suddenly rises up, and a wooden coffin
                 emerges in an upright position.  Then bits of wood fly out as the
                 coffin opens up, and out comes Lance, miraculously resurrected and
                 all in one piece, in a joyful "ta-daa!" pose, with the forwards
                 baseball cap on his head.  He flips his cap backwards in the right
                 position, then makes a posing armfold with a smile.
    MY THOUGHTS: Wow.  I can see that Lance is miraculously in one piece.  I have
                 seen other people arise from their graves as zombies in most
                 zombie movies, but this basic "arise from your grave" scene is
                 pretty miraculous.  Otherwise, it's basically okay.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (5/10) [† † † † † . . . . .]
    
    2. BASIC RESURRECTION 2: THE FLAMES OF REBIRTH
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: Other death scenes in the Crossroads and in haunted
                             rooms.
    DESCRIPTION: In a midnight blue screen, pillars of fire start to form, and soon
                 the fire grows more bright, until it reforms Lance's body.  Our
                 hero then jumps out of the flames, clearing them right up to his
                 hands, then makes a "ta-daa!" pose with his glowing, fiery hands
                 as the last of the flames blow away.  Now good as new again, he
                 turns his baseball cap backwards in the right position, then, with
                 a smile, makes a posing armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: Wow!  This "flames of rebirth" scene captivates me.  Somehow, it
                 reminds me of the story of the Phoenix, which is an ancient and
                 well known symbol of death and rebirth and portrayed as a magical
                 bird made of living flames; the story says that when a Phoenix
                 reaches the end of its life, it would make a cinnamon stick nest
                 and immolate itself with fire, and from the ashes a new Phoenix is
                 reborn.  This could explain the "fiery" resurrection scene that
                 Lance, like a Phoenix, can rise from the ashes of defeat and start
                 over.  Pretty weird but interesting.  Overall, this is pretty cool
                 IMO.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (8/10) [† † † † † † † † . .]
    
    3. BOLT OF DIVINE REANIMATION
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: Moose's Scenario.
    DESCRIPTION: In a black-and-sky-blue screen, some thunderbolts strike down, and
                 as they hit the ground, there is a puff of smoke, and Lance
                 reappears, completely healthy and undamaged, with his baseball cap
                 in a forward position; as usual, he jumps forward and gives out a
                 "ta-daa!" pose, then turns his cap back in the right position and
                 gives out a smile and an armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: This resurrection scene somehow reminds me of many "Frankenstein"
                 movies, in which thunderbolts are needed for Frankenstein's
                 monster to charge up and come to life.  The way I see thunderbolts
                 come down, it must have been as though Lance has been sent down
                 from heaven to get another shot at the scenario.  How miraculous,
                 in my opinion.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (9/10) [† † † † † † † † † .]
    
    4. AN EMERGENCY BLOOD TRANSFUSION
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: Vivi's Funeral Salon.
    DESCRIPTION: In a light turquoise screen, Lance is standing there as the thin,
                 shriveled, skeletal mummy-like corpse who had been drained of
                 blood, his baseball cap in a forward position and his eyes closed,
                 as though in a deathly sleep.  Just then, an emergency blood
                 transfusion bag quickly wheels in as if by magic, then stops next
                 to him, sticks its syringe into his buttocks as his body and head
                 bend over slightly a bit, then injects the blood into his body,
                 inflating him like a balloon and rehydrating him.  The rehydration
                 bounces the transfusion bag off of his body, and, now fully
                 revived, he walks in front and makes a "ta-daa!" pose; then, as
                 usual, turns his cap back in the right position, then makes a
                 smile and an armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: At first, the first few seconds of the resurrection scene are very
                 creepy and icky.  Seriously, Lance standing out as thin as a husk
                 of a body.  And then, when the red transfusion bag sticks its
                 syringe needle into his buttocks, I was like, "Okay, that's just
                 gross!  :P"  But then, when all the blood is brought back into his
                 body, I was like, "Woooowwwwww!  This is one true miracle of the
                 blood transfusion!  :o"  I'm still in awe and amazement.  This is
                 the resurrection scene that truly captivates!  I'd like to give it
                 a perfect ten, except that the first few seconds of ickyness takes
                 one point away from it, so a nine will do.  :D
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (9/10) [† † † † † † † † † .]
    
    5. THE MAGIC JACK-O-LANTERN
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: One of the rooms of the Twin Witches.
    DESCRIPTION: In a black screen, a jack-o-lantern flies out of nowhere with an
                 eerie laugh, and then it crashes onto the floor with a POOF!,
                 emitting a cloud of smoke, which clears away to reveal our man
                 Lance, newly-revived with a forwards baseball cap.  As usual, he
                 gives out a "ta-daa!" pose, then turns his cap in the right
                 position and gives out a smile and an armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: All I can say is... wow!  Miracles can continue to amaze me, but
                 this is the one I've seen.  As far as I can tell, jack-o-lanterns
                 are said to have magical powers in the old days, but this one is
                 powerful enough for a miracle.  Also good enough for occasions on
                 Halloween.  :)
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (9/10) [† † † † † † † † † .]
    
    6. A DI-VINE INTERVENTION
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: The Garden Maze.
    DESCRIPTION: In a violet-red screen, two vines move in and quickly intertwine
                 with each other, then they close in and bunch up together, and
                 there is a bulge as the vines reform Lance's body, which bursts
                 out with an "Oh yeah!" and a "ta-daa!" pose.  Once again, as
                 usual, he turns the forward baseball cap backwards in the right
                 position and gives out a smile and a posing armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: Wow!  This is one resurrection scene that concerns nature.  Two
                 vines intertwining and reforming Lance's body... talk about a
                 di-vine resurrection! (Sorry for the bad pun.) And this is the
                 first time he says, "Oh yeah!" in a resurrection scene!  Overall,
                 very interesting.  :)
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (7/10) [† † † † † † † . . .]
    
    7. THE CLAY OF LIFE
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: The Giant Statue Scenario.
    DESCRIPTION: In a dark yellow screen, what looks like green mud pours down,
                 forming Lance's feet first, and going up to his entire body, which
                 is now all covered in some green goopy mud at first; and then,
                 Lance splashes out of the mud with an "Oh yeah!" and a "ta-daa!"
                 pose.  Once again, he twists his foward baseball cap backwards in
                 the right posistion and gives out a smile and a posing armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: This acid-pouring thing forming Lance's body is a bit creepy at
                 first... but then I noticed that it turns out to be green mud...
                 or something like that, in some G minor chord. (You know, I was
                 gonna call it "The Waters of Rebirth", but this green liquid is a
                 bit too muddy to be water, in my opinion.)  And then... the G
                 minor chord turns into a miraculous G major chord, as Lance
                 emerges, whole and undamaged!  Alleluia!  This looks so pretty.  I
                 am calling the green mud "clay", because I notice in Wikipedia
                 that mud is likened to clay.  Somehow it reminds me of how God
                 formed Adam out of the mud and clay and blew the breath of life
                 into him in the Book of Genesis... which may explain this scene,
                 but then again, that's just me.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (9/10) [† † † † † † † † † .]
    
    8. PUTTING YOUR PIECES BACK TOGETHER
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: Fritz's Grand Stairway.
    DESCRIPTION: In an orange screen, Lance's shoes fall onto the floor, and then
                 bits and pieces of him fall down and reconnect each other, first
                 his legs, then his torso, then his abdomen and chest, then his
                 arms, then his neck, and finally his head and his baseball cap in
                 a forward position, reforming his entire body.  As usual, he walks
                 in and gives out a "ta-daa!" pose, then turns his cap back in the
                 right position and makes a smile and an armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: Wow.  This is pretty creepy and amazing.  Lance's pieces are
                 coming together like building blocks, and reforming his entire
                 body with a "boing"!  A little creepy at first, but otherwise
                 okay.
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (6/10) [† † † † † † . . . .]
    
    9. ILLUMINATING THE DARKNESS OF DEATH
    OCCURS IF LANCE DIES IN: The final confrontation in the Brain Chamber.
    DESCRIPTION: In an entirely black screen, creepy purple CGI floor circles light
                 up the darkness, and then a cool blue light laser beams up,
                 reanimating Lance's body; as the blue light fades off, it reveals
                 our newly-reanimated hero with his cap in a forward position.
                 Once again, he jumps out of the light circles and makes a "ta-
                 daa!" pose; and once more he turns his cap back in the right
                 position, then gives off a smile and an armfold.
    MY THOUGHTS: We've saved the best for last, and this... this is THE best
                 resurrection animation scene ever!  Wow!  And it's even done in
                 CGI animation too!  When our hero is beamed up in resurrection, it
                 takes my breath away.  And I'm too speechless for words on how
                 this miracle is done.  Even Quentin Tarantino should be proud of
                 this.  I give it a perfect ten for the computer graphics in this
                 animation scene.  Well done!  :)
    MIRACLE FACTOR: (10/10) [† † † † † † † † † †]
    
    
    # 4. Conclusion #
    
    So, in conclusion, I hope that all of these deaths and resurrections are here
    enough to give children a lesson.  For all of you parents who try to order this
    game for video game consoles on Amazon or e-Bay for children aged 6 and up, you
    should try not to order them as possible, and try to make them wait until they
    are old enough at the age of 12 BEFORE you order this one online, as many of
    these death scenes and sexual content the game developers had overlooked back
    in 1995 and 1996 are graphic and gruesome enough to traumatize and haunt them
    for YEARS, in spite of its K-A rating!  Seriously, you need to be a good parent
    and teach them how to play games that are age-appropriate for them until they
    are old enough to play this game.  And as for those of you who own iPads,
    iPhones, and iPod Touches and ordered this game, if you are twelve or older, I
    hope these death scenes can teach you a valuable lesson to always be careful
    and make the right moves next time; and if you are patient and make all the
    correct moves, your victory in beating this game will all pay off in the end.
    :)
    
    
    # 5. Updates and Revisions #
    
    Version 1.0:
    Mid-October 2012 - Death Scenes FAQ started.
    10/28 - Got most of the death scenes on all stages of the game.
    10/29 - Resurrection scenes started, but I had to delay it due to Hurricane
    Sandy causing the power flickers in our house that night, which is a pain.  :(
    10/30 - Completed the resurrection scenes, and I think I got all of the death
    scenes down.  If there's STILL any death scenes I may have missed, please
    e-mail me, okay?
    10/31 - Death Scenes FAQ finally completed.  And just in time for Halloween,
    too!  Hope these scenes will fascinate you on that spooky night too!  :D
    
    
    # 6. Thanks #
    
    My thanks go out to all the YouTube fans who helped me out in writing this FAQ
    by recording the videos of this game and posting them onto YouTube in clips,
    without which my game script would not have been possible:
    
    AAVGM87: For all of the deaths in Vivi's Funeral Salon and the Brain Chamber
    and most of the deaths in other scenarios.
    Frankomatic (Obscure Game Theatre): For the "Missed It By That Much" death
    scene in the Giant Statue Scenario and other occurrences in death scenes as
    well.
    NintendoCult: For most of the death scenes in all scenarios, and some of the
    deaths in the rooms of the Twin Witches.
    SmashTom: For the rest of the death scenes in the rooms of the Twin Witches and
    for the extra death scene in the Maze.
    Super8ZX: For the extra occurrence in the death scene at the top of the
    Conservatory.
    
    Also, thanks go out to:
    Game Informer: For inspiring me to create this "Death Scenes" FAQ and for
    making me a little queasy with all pictures of its death scenes when I was a
    teen back in 1996.  I should know that without that magazine my possibility of
    making this FAQ would not have been possible.  :D
    Wikipedia: For information on the game and its characters.
    
    And special thanks go to the one guy at GameFAQs for helping me out on the FAQ:
    TMak, for posting all the right moves and for giving me info on what will
    happen if you fail to make a correct move quick enough.
    
    Finally, my thanks go to GameFAQs for hosting the guides and being a great 
    resource on the Internet; and to all the other in-depth FAQ writers for a good
    deal of inspiration!  You guys are the best!
    
    Copyright © 2012 by Deborah L. Kearns

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