The House of the Dead

Review by p1r4t8r

"Must...eat...brains..."

Some of you may remember ‘House of the Dead’ from the arcades. It was that game in the corner with a black curtain around it, and the centre of much attention. Why? Because it was (in it’s time) regarded as one of the most graphic light gun games ever, allowing you to literally blast chunks out the un-dead enemies. The game received a port to the now very dead Sega Saturn, and also the PC. With the option of playing with a light gun completely removed, how does ‘House of the Dead’ stack up on PC? Is it actually any good?

The story is rather sketchy. Apparently your girlfriend Sophie has been kidnapped by an evil scientist and taken to a remote mansion (Resident Evil anyone?). Upon arriving at the mansion you are attacked by flesh eating zombies, intent on eating your brains. It’s just a good thing you remember to bring along your pistol with an unlimited amount of ammunition!
The story certainly won’t win any awards (mind you there is a movie in the works…figure that one out), but it serves as no purpose to the game play so it never really matters.
Story: 2

When first installing ‘House of the Dead’ you are provided with two options, to play the game using direct 3D rendering, or the standard software mode. The software mode was strangely the only mode that would work on my system (despite the fact my card is fully D3D compatible) so that’s the mode that this review is based on.
The graphics are passable, I suppose in its time, this game must’ve looked pretty flash, but by today’s standard it’s ugly and choppy.
The frame rate is luckily kept at a constant pace, so hopefully you won’t encounter any slow-down.
But what of the graphic violence and gore? Well, if you’re sadistic and you like seeing fountains of blood, then this game is your ticket. You can actually dismember a zombie limb by limb, which I must admit was rather amusing at first. The joy of seeing half a zombies head blown apart is something that you will come to love. You can also shoot off chunks of zombie’s legs, even shoot off some of their arms and split others in half. Another highlight is shooting a hole clean through a zombies chest, so you can see straight through them. Many will probably buy this game for it’s gore alone, however be aware that there is more to the game than just a little bit of blood and gore.
The game does have quite a few clipping issues, and often the environments can be ugly and unrealistic (not that this game is meant to be realistic, but you get my drift).
Some of the animations are just terrible and lame as well, such as the first zombie you encounter who kills a scientist by poking him in the eye. Realistic!
Otherwise the animation is usually very good. Zombies stumble when shot in the legs, they’ll recoil when shot in the head, their eyes will even pop out of their head on occasion. Expect plenty of laughs.
Graphics: 6

The sound is by far the most thoroughly amusing part of the whole ‘House of the Dead’ experience. The acting is entirely forced and very B-grade; think ‘Resident Evil’ only much, much worse.
One of the characters, a giant human/bat creature has a voice that sounds like a demonic Mickey Mouse. In fact, the first time I heard it I couldn’t stop laughing, it really is that bad (‘Hee hee hee, nobody leaves here…..alive!!!’).
The other voice actors are just as bad, so don’t expect there to be many redeeming factors as far as the audio goes.
As for the music, I can’t say I really noticed it at all during the game. That’s not to say it wasn’t any good, just that it was entirely forgettable.
The gun blasts sounded realistic enough, but you won’t notice as you’ll be too busy laughing at the ridiculous voice acting.
Sound: 3

‘House of the Dead’ is your standard ‘on-rails’ light gun game. For those unfamiliar with the term ‘on-rails’ it simply means that the game takes you along a pre-determined path, and you have no control over the characters movement. All you have to do is shoot every enemy to appear onscreen, reloading when you run out of ammo. You certainly won’t need a rocket science degree to play this game. The path you travel along can be altered however, as often you can take a different path provided you save a certain person, or shoot a certain button.
The first example of this branching is a scientist who is about to be killed by a zombie. Should you chose to save him you can go into the mansion, and see scenes that you wouldn’t see had you let him die. This adds a good deal of variation and replay-ability to an otherwise linear light gun blaster, as you’ll want to see what lies down that other path. The branching is very well done, as both paths seem equally as challenging.
The boss battles are also a highlight as each boss has a certain weak spot that you must hit repeatedly to kill them. The first boss has a weak spot about the size of a fifty-cent piece, making him extremely hard and rather challenging to kill without losing any health. This is truly one of the games strong points, it’s just a pity there aren’t more bosses!
Controlling the game is both simple, and entirely unrewarding. You can chose to either use the mouse or the keyboard. The keyboard moves too slowly, so your best option is the mouse. It’s simply just point and click, with the right mouse button used to reload. While this set-up works fine, it’s rather boring and no-where near as good as the thrills you get from a light gun.
Still, the action on offer here is fast and frantic and you’ll barely have time to breathe.
The enemies are great too, you have your standard zombies that simply run at you and try to take a bite out of you, as well as axe, chainsaw even blowtorch wielding zombies. There are also strange monkeys that bounce off the walls and are quite challenging to take down, swamp creatures, bats, spiders, you name it, its here. You won’t be disappointed.
Sadly though, ‘House of the Dead’ is a very short game, and despite the attempts to lengthen it with various branching points, there is little reason to play this game for more than an hour. The two-player mode is fairly good, and there is certainly a laugh or two to be had, but it is short lived.
Game Play: 6
Life Span: 4

Pros
+ Extremely gory
+ Branching points
+ Zombies!
+ Challenging boss battles
+ Two player mode

Cons
- Too short
- Simplistic
- No light gun
- Sound

Overall, ‘House of the Dead’ isn’t a bad light gun game, and if you have a spare hour or so it’s a blast. However I find it hard to recommend given the games length and lack of any real substance. If you see it in a bargain bin give it a go, just don’t pay full price it’s not worth it.
Overall: 6