FAQ by Flux Wildly

Updated: 10/16/01 | Printable Version

	    _______   ___________  __ ____
           <__  ___>| | | ___>   \/  | ___>
              | | | |_| | |__|       | |__
              | | | __  |  __> |\_/| |  __>
              | | | | | | |__| |   | | |__
              |_| |_| |_|____>_|   |_|____>
              	        __    _  ___   ___  ____  ________  ___ __
                        | |  | |/   \ / __)|    \| |__  __>    \| |
                        | |__| |  |  |  |_ | --  | |  | | |  |  | |
                        |  __  |  |  |__  \| ___/| |  | | | __  | |
                        | |  | |  |  | _)  ) |   | |  | | | | | | |___
                        |_|  |_|\___/ (___/|_|   |_|  |_| |_| |_|_____>

    Copyright 2001 by JH (Flux Wildly)


1.0  Review of game and Introduction
2.0  Controls
3.0  Staff
4.0  Diseases
5.0  Treatment
6.0  Misc rooms
7.0  Misc objects
8.0  Events
9.0  Tips

1.0	Introduction and review

I'm JH and I play games. That seems obvious enough. I play almost anything but
I'm particularly fond of the RPG, strategy and Sim genre. Which explains why I
love this game. I love it enough to write an FAQ about it. This is my second
FAQ so far, my first being one on RC Stunt Copter on the PS. If anything looks
weird from hereon, it's because it's late at night and I'm half asleep.
A quick review of Theme Hospital:
The graphics are nothing to brag about but they're sufficient for a
Sim/Strategy game. Fancy graphics with lousy gameplay won't last you through
the game. Sound and music are the strong points in the game. This is why you
should buy the game rather than to download it from one of those abandonware
sites. The sound bites add to the atmosphere of the hospital environment.
Really. And you can play your own MIDI files with the game. Another reason why
you should buy the game. It's available as an EA classic as well as the box
form which costs 2,3 times more. Gameplay is great and you'll be stuck on it
for years to come until you complete it. It's an addiction. I've been playing
this game since 1997 or 98 so you get my point. End of review. See? Told you
it's a quick review!
Oh yeah, last thing. Do not attempt to place this FAQ on any other site or cut
and paste content from this document. I usually solve problems like this using
the Monkey Island method: Voodoo.

2.0	Controls

The controls in the game are easy to pick up. You'll need the mouse and common
sense. Move your mouse cursor over any icon and you'll see a text box appear
above the icon. Everything's easy to understand so I'll skip explaining them.
The Town Map icon is for the purchase of more land as well as to adjust the
heat emission of your radiators. To buy land, click on any of the red pieces
you see. The $ icon is the bank manager. If you run out of money, you can loan
some from there. On the bank manager screen, click + or - to loan and return
money respectively. Of course, there is an interest rate so....
When you attempt to build a room, click on the spot you want the room to be and
drag til you reach the size you want. There is a minimum size for each room and
you'll know the room can be built when the area turns blue. Right clicking when
your cursor is an object rotates the object. When you wish to reposition
furniture, move your cursor on the object and right click. The icon on the
right with test tubes on it brings up the research screen. You may want to
concentrate your research on Cure equipment and Diagnosis first. The rest of
the icons seem self explanatory so I'll skip that.

3.0	Staff listing

3.1	Doctors
Doctors in the game come with 3 different ranks, different level of detail,
different capability, different salary and most importantly, different
The ranks are Junior, Doctor and Consultant, Consultant being the highest paid
and Junior being the lowest. In the higher levels, it is possible for Juniors
and Doctors to attain higher skill levels by training them. That'd be covered
in detail under 6.0 Misc rooms

The below are the different qualification of doctors in the game:

Skilless: Doctors with no particular Qualifications. They can work in any room
except those that require a doctor with a particular skill.

Researcher: This doctor works in the research department (when it is available)
and also, in later levels, the DNA fixer, in addition to the areas open to the
Skilless. A researcher is essential to your work force as he discovers the
various diseases, equipment and its cure as well as improvising the treatment
administered. The improvising of drugs will increase your reputation for that
particular disease.

Psychiatrist: He works in the Psychiatry room as well as any room open to the
Skilless. You'll need a psychiatrist to cure people who are sick in the
head...well, in a way.

Surgeon: Surgeons work in pairs. A lone surgeon is as useless as a hospital
without a receptionist. Surgeons roam areas open to Skilless Docs as well as
the Operating theatre. They cure diseases by cutting people up.

Doctors in the game will go crazy if they're overworked. I forgot to construct
a staff room once and ended up with loads of crazy Docs. You can differentiate
crazy Docs from the sane ones by their hair. Their hair looks like they've
stuffed their fingers into an electric socket.
You should also note what their bio says about the doctor when you're hiring. A
lazy doctor moves slower than a hardworking one and consultants move faster
than a Junior. This is essential information if you're planning to increase

3.2	Receptionists
Receptionists are the ugly bunch of people. They have different level of detail
and skill. The capable ones with a relatively high level of detail cost
slightly above $100. Secretaries are weird creatures and they don't get tired
ever. They work at the reception desk and don't bother you with threats of
quitting because apparently, they can't feel. They're perpetually stuck to
their reception desk and you can't move the reception desk without first moving
the receptionist. And being the magnet that she is, she'll move towards the
desk the moment you place her. Oh yeah, you can't start a hospital without her.
No one will come.

3.4	Nurses

Nurses work at the Pharmacy, the Ward as well as the Fracture Clinic. Without
them, you cannot administer drugs to cure people. I'm not sure if she'll go
crazy if she's overworked but she still gets tired unlike the inhuman

3.5	Handymen

The handymen are the crux of the game. Hire enough and your hospital will be
nice and neat with no nasty explosions. Don't hire them and you'll probably
lose the game before long. Hire handymen with a high skill level because they
move faster, thus working faster. They get angry faster than anyone else in the
game and ask for pay rises constantly. You can set their priorities by clicking
on them and then clicking on the icon for the task you want them to concentrate
on. Handymen wander all over the place so you may wish to buy land only when
you really need it. Otherwise, they'll wander there and do nothing. They
mop/sweep/clean the floors, water the plants as well as repair machines. They
also need to rest regularly...too regularly if you ask me..darn these handymen.

4.0	Diseases

Golf Stones
 Cause - Exposure to poison gas inside golf-balls
 Symptoms - Delirium and advanced shame
 Cure -These must be removed by an operation requiring two Surgeons

 Unexpected Swelling
 Cause - Anything unexpected
 Symptom - Swelling
 Cure - The swelling can only be reduced by lancing during an operation
        requiring two Surgeons

 Spare Ribs
 Cause - Sitting on cold stone floors
 Symptoms - Unpleasant feeling of chestiness
 Cure - These must be taken out by two Surgeons, and given to the
	patient in a doggy bag

 Pregnancy (downloadable add-on that is not in the game)
 Cause - Power cuts in urban areas
 Symptoms - Faddish eating with consequent beer gut.
 Cure - Baby is removed in Operating Theatre, washed and presented to

 Kidney Beans
 Cause - Crunching up ice cubes in drinks
 Symptoms - Pain and frequent trips to the toilet
 Cure - Two Surgeons must remove the beans without touching the sides
        of the kidney

 Broken Heart
 Cause - Someone richer, younger and thinner than the patient
 Symptoms - Weeping and RSI caused by hours of tearing up holiday
 Cure - Two Surgeons open the chest and gently mend the heart whilst
        holding their breath

 Ruptured Nodules
 Cause - Bungee jumping in cold weather
 Symptoms - Inability to sit down in comfort
 Cure - Two qualified Surgeons must removed the nodules using steady

 Iron Lungs
 Cause - Inner-city smog mixed with kebab remains
 Symptoms - Ability to breathe fire and shout loudly underwater
 Cure - Two Surgeons operate to remove the cast solid lungs in the

 Heaped Piles
 Cause - Standing around by water coolers
 Symptoms - Patient feels like he/she is sitting on a bag of marbles
 Cure - A pleasant, yet powerfully acidic drink dissolves the piles
	from the inside

 Gut Rot
 Cause - Mrs. O'Malley's Good Time Whisky Cough Mixture
 Symptoms - No cough but no stomach-wall lining either
 Cure - A Nurse can administer a selection of dissolved chemicals to
	coat the tum

 Gastric Ejections
 Cause - Spicy Mexican or Indian food
 Symptoms - Half-digested food is emitted from the patient in random
 Cure - Drinking a special binding solution prevents anything being

 The Squits
 Cause - Eating pizza found under the cooker
 Symptoms - Ugh. Surely you can guess
 Cure - A glutinous mix of stringy pharmaceutical chemicals solidify
        the patients innards

 Sleeping Illness
 Cause - Overactive sleep gland in the roof of the mouth
 Symptoms - Overwhelming desire to crash out everywhere
 Cure - A high dosage of powerful stimulant is administered by a Nurse

 Cause - Licking the yogurt from the foil tops of opened pots
 Symptoms - Flesh is rendered see-through and horrible
 Cure - A Pharmacy drink of specially cooled and coloured water cures
        this disease

 Cause - Being bitten by a radioactive (and invisible) ant
 Symptoms - Patients suffer no discomfort. Indeed, many use the
	    condition to play practical jokes on their families
 Cure - A colourful liquid drunk in the Pharmacy soon restores the
	patient to full observability

 Discrete Itching
 Cause - Tiny insects with sharp teeth
 Symptoms - Scratching, leading to body-part inflammation
 Cure - Patient drinks a pharmaceutical gluey syrup to prevent the skin
        from itching

 Uncommon Cold
 Cause - Small particles of snot in the air
 Symptoms - Runny nose, sneezing and discoloured lungs
 Cure - A big swig of uncommon cough medicine made from special
	ingredients in the Pharmacy will cure this

 Broken Wind
 Cause - Using a gymnasium treadmill after a meal
 Symptoms - Upsetting the people directly behind the patient
 Cure - A heavy mixture of special watery atoms is drunk rapidly in the

 Corrugated Ankles
 Cause - Driving over traffic calming measures in road
 Symptoms - Footwear does not fit snugly
 Cure - A slightly toxic blend of herbs and spices is drunk to
	straighten out the ankles

 Chronic Nosehair
 Cause - Sniffing disdainfully at those worse off than the patient
 Symptoms - Nosebeard a badger could make a nest in
 Cure - A disgusting hair-removal potion is taken orally, prepared by
        a Nurse in the Pharmacy

Bloaty Head
 Cause - Sniffing cheese and drinking unpurified rainwater
 Symptoms - Very uncomfortable for the sufferer
 Cure - The swollen head is popped, then reinflated to the correct PSI
        using a clever machine

 Serious Radiation
 Cause - Mistaking plutonium isotopes for chewing gum
 Symptoms - Patients with this condition feel very, very unwell
 Cure - The patient must be placed in a Decontamination Shower and
        cleansed properly

 Slack Tongue
 Cause - Chronic overdiscussion of soap operas
 Symptoms - Tongue swells to five times its original length
 Cure - The tongue is placed in the Slicer Machine, and removed
	quickly, efficiently and painfully

 Alien DNA
 Cause - Face huggers equipped with intelligent alien blood
 Symptoms - Gradual alien metamorphosis and desire to destroy our
 Cure - The DNA is mechanically removed, cleaned of alien elements and
        replaced quickly

 Fractured Bones
 Cause - Falling off high things onto concrete
 Symptoms - Loud crack and inability to use afflicted limbs
 Cure - The cast is set then removed using a laser-driven removing

 Cause - Telling lies and making up stories to be popular
 Symptoms - Shiny-headedness and embarrassment
 Cure - Hair is seamlessly melded onto the patient's head using a
	painful machine

 Cause - Gelatin-rich diet and too much exercise
 Symptoms - Excessive wobbliness and falling down a lot
 Cure - The patient is immersed in the Jelly Vat in a special room for
        a bit

 Cause - Prolonged exposure to the moon
 Symptoms - Sufferers experience enhanced sense of smell
 Cure - An electrolysis machine removes the hair and seals up the pores

 King Complex
 Caused by the spirit of the King entering the patient's mind and taking over
 Symptoms - Donning of colourful suede footwear and eating
 Cure - A Psychiatrist tells the patient how ridiculous he or she looks

 TV Personalities
 Cause - Daytime television
 Symptoms - Delusions of being able to present a cookery show
 Cure - A trained Psychiatrist must convince the patient to sell their
        TV and buy a radio

 Infectious Laughter
 Cause - Classic situation comedy
 Symptoms - Helpless chortling and repetition of unfunny catchphrases
 Cure - A qualified Psychiatrist must remind the patient how serious
        this condition is

 3rd Degree Sideburns
 Cause - Wistful longing for the 1970S
 Symptoms - Big hair, flares, platforms and glitter make-up
 Cure - The Psychiatry staff must, using up-to-date techniques,
	convince the patient that these hairy accoutrements are rubbish

 Fake Blood
 Cause - Patient usually subject of practical joke
 Symptoms - Red fluid in veins which evaporates on contact with
 Cure - Psychiatric calming is the only way to deal with this problem

 Sweaty Palms
 Cause - Fear of job interviews
 Symptoms - Handshakes with patient are like grabbing a recently
	    submerged sponge
 Cure - A Psychiatrist must talk the patient out of this made-up

The diseases need to be discovered by the research department first before they
can be cured so remember to hire researchers!

5.0	Treatment

There are various types of treatment rooms in the game. Patients need to visit
them to either get their diseases diagnosed or cured. They are,

GP's office

You need at least one of this. It's the first step in the diagnosis process.
Patients will be referred to this room by the receptionist first before being
further directed to other rooms

General Diagnosis

This is as vital in the diagnosis process as the GP's office. It serves almost
the same purpose as the rest of the diagnosis rooms.


This room will be available later in the game. The cardiogram is a machine and
requires constant attention by the handymen. Like the rest of the machines, it
will need to be replaced when its strength falls dangerously low. Otherwise,
the machine would explode and kill the patient in it and perhaps the doctor as
well. I'm not sure about that but it seems that my staff disappear after an


This room will be available after your researchers discover it. The scanner
requires maintenance like the Cardio.


This is the coolest machine in the neighbourhood. You get to see your patients
skeletal form... at least the ribcage. This requires regular fixing by your
friendly (or not so friendly) handymen.

Blood machine

This machine sucks blood out from your patients to test for their diseases.
It's not as gross as it sounds and looks cute too. This too requires


The holy grail of diagnosis equipment, this baby is capable of seeking out
every disease that plagues your patients. Though it costs a bomb, you'd earn
much more from your patients.



Patients visit this place to get their dosage of medicine from your nurse.


Patients with mental disorder head here. They'd lie on the couch while a
psychiatrist speaks to them. Then they'd get well.

Operating theatre

Surgeons remove bits and pieces of the patients here. Pretty self explanatory.
The operating table is a piece of equipment and requires regular attention from
the handyman.



I figure this is in a class of its own as it is both a part of the diagnosis
process as well as a place to rest before an operation. This place requires a



Big headed patients head (pun unintended) here to get their heads popped. Then
the inflator pumps air back into their heads so they regain their original
shapes. Cool.

Slack Tongue Clinic

Long tongued patients get their tongue sliced off here. The machine looks like
a giant black iron and needs maintenance.

Fracture Clinic

You might notice many patients with plaster casts all over their bodies. These
people have a disease called Fractured bones and need to visit the fracture
clinic to get their casts off. The cast remover requires maintenance and would
be made available without the need for research later in the game. A nurse
operates the machine.

Hair restoration

Bald people need this room. Obviously. It also requires maintenance.


Patients who look like werewolves are sent here to get their hair removed.
These hairytitis patients are electrocuted til all hair growing in the wrong
places fall off. The machine requires maintenance.


Patients with a greenish hue have a disease called radioactivity. They shower
in this machine and regain their normal color. The machine requires

Jelly Vat

People infected with Jellyitis (wobbly people) are poured into this machine
that solidifies them. The machine requires maintenance.

DNA Fixer

People with Alien DNA are sent here. They are easily identified because they
are the only patients around with only one eye and tentacles. Plus, they're
green. Like your average everyday alien. The only good thing about these people
is that they don't need benches to sit on. The DNA fixer does not need
maintenance for some unknown reason and only researchers can work the machine.

6.0	Misc rooms

Staff rooms

These are needed to rest your tired staff. All staff (with the exception of the
receptionist) tire and need to rest. Otherwise, they either go crazy or demand
pay rises. You can purchase various objects, like TVs and pool tables among
others, for the enjoyment of the staff.


For obvious reasons, toilets are needed by the patients to er...do their
business. This way, they feel happier about the hospital. More cubicles and
sinks can be purchased. Strangely enough, your staff need not visit this sacred

Research Department

Researchers occupy this room. They discover diseases and their cure as well as
the equipment needed for this. As the game progresses, your researchers will
develop new equipment for use in this room. Do purchase them as they'll help in
your researchers' work.


Doctors with no qualifications or a low skill level are sitted in this room. A
consultant with a qualification you wish to impart to these ignorant doctors
need to be hired to teach them. They would either inherit the qualification of
the consultant or have their skill level increased. I don't think you can
decide on that but it does get irritating when your average doctor becomes a
consultant and leaves the room without the qualification you desire. And no,
consultants can't be trained.

7.0	Misc Objects

Reception Desk

A receptionist works here so you need at least one of these.


These are for your patients to sit on. With sufficient benches, patients are
less likely to puke and they are happier. You should always buy enough of

Drinks Machine

For some reason, drinks machines have 'KitKat' written on them. Not Mountain
Dew or Coca Cola but KitKat. Placing enough of these around adds to your
revenue and makes your patients unthirsty and happy. But they do add to the
amount of litter around as well as the number of times your patients need to
visit the loo.


Patients and staff are likely to stay happy and warm if you have enough of
these. You can adjust the intensity of the heat by clicking on the Town Map
icon. The red dots should cover the whole of the area of your hospital.


Plants require watering by your handymen. They add to the environment of the
hospital and makes your patients happier. But I'd suggest you skip them as your
handymen probably have enough trouble with machinery and rubbish.

Fire Extinguisher

Fire Extinguishers can be placed in rooms to lower the risk of your machinery
going Kaboom. I'm not sure about the effect it has when placed in the corridoor

8.0	Events

Occasionally, an icon pops out from the left hand corner of the screen just
above the $ icon. This is an event. The various events are described below.


When the icon shows a tophat, it signifies a VIP visit. Click on it to bring up
the fax machine window. Unless you have a serious litter problem in your
hospital, you should allow their visit. They'd take a tour around your hospital
and after they leave, fax you with a message telling you how much they love or
hate your hospital. Hate faxes are rare and normally, you'd receive a
reputation boost as well as a cash reward.

Staff Demands

This is represented by a red icon with a doctor's face on it. Clicking on it
brings up a window that shows the staff concerned's demands. It is normally a
demand for a pay rise or, in extreme cases, a threat to quit. For pay rises,
increasing the pay of that staff member (the + icon) would prevent him or her
from quitting and denying that request (the door icon) may or may not cause
that staff member to quit. Sometimes, it is just an empty threat.


An icon with a DNA strand brings up the fax window when clicked on. It informs
you of the discovery of a new condition. Pretty much self explanatory.


Sometimes, a patient with an undiscovered disease or a disease that your
hospital cannot cure yet seeks treatment. An icon with a question mark appears
and when clicked on, brings up the fax window. The icon also appears when there
are patients who are not completely diagnosed. You can make a decision to take
the risk and cure them, send them home, send them to the research department or
to make them wait in the hospital. The choice is yours.


This is an icon with a blue light (those fixed on police cars..I forgot what
they're called). It informs you of a emergency where a number of patients with
a certain disease need to be cured in a time limit. You can choose to take up
the challenge or to refuse it. You might wish to refuse it if the number of
patients is larger than the number you can handle. There is a cash reward if
you successfully complete the challenge and your reputation will take a beating
if you don't.


An icon with a certificate appears after a visit by a VIP or after an
emergency. It tells you of how you have done.

9.0	Tips

The object of the game is to meet the requirements of each level. There are
many ways to go about this and the below are my tips and strategies.
It is preferable to build 2 or more GP's offices as your hospital's reputation
grows. This way, more patients can be cured in a shorter time and also, it
shortens the queue at the GP's office.
Benches should be placed near the entrance to the rooms so the patients take a
shorter time to walk to the room. This saves time. Space should be left near
the entrance of the hospital so you can place a reception desk there. Also,
rooms should not be too congested as this would increase the tendency of your
patients littering (I'm not sure why too). The diagnosis rooms should be placed
nearer to the entrance so that the flow of traffic is smoother. You'll need to
scatter drink machines around the hospital. You don't have to buy a lot of
radiators because you can adjust the heat level from the Town Map. Repair your
machines every 3 uses so they don't break down or explode in the occasion of
earthquakes. In the later levels you'd need to purchase land to expand your
hospital empire. I would save my game before purchasing the land so I can check
it out first before wasting my money on a piece of land that can't contain many
rooms. Some pieces of land is in such a way that you can only build one space
consuming room. If you see tiny black dots scampering from one end of your
hospital to the other, those are rats. Position your mouse cursor on one til
the arrow turns into a crosshair, then click. This will kill the rat and leave
a blood stain on the floor. Kill enough rats and you get a bonus level after
your current level. Do make your handyman clean up the blood stains though,
because patients tend to vomit upon seeing them. And that makes your hospital
That seems all I have to say here. Good luck and enjoy the game!

For queries or anything other than junk mail, email me at flixflux@hotmail.com