Review by Arcademan6
"A boring shoot 'em up."
Ok, this game is NOT Half-life or Soldier of Fortune. But what it lacks in plot, it makes up for in gameplay, right? Not quite.... On to the review!
Gameplay: The big letdown here is gameplay. You run through a level fragging enemies that range from headless zombies to strange scorpion creatures. In theory, it sounds like a blast. But the guns are limited, and it gets boring as hell. I've seen people praise this game for being fun, when it's so repetitive and boring I shut it off not to far into it. Controls are standard FPS fare, and it controls nicely. Enemies are bizzare. They include suicide zombies, skeletons, some kind of bull thing, and walking robots, just to name a few. The enemies are ridiculous, and especially considering the location (Egypt. Smart Idea.). The only ones that fit are the skeletons, the rest lookout of place.
Guns: Theres single or dual six-shooters, a chain gun, and shotgun and dual barrel shotgun, a rocket launcher, a grenade launcher, a Cannon (?), and a quad laser. Those are all you get. The cannon is the best, as it kills in one hit. Considering the fact that ammo is EVERYWHERE, You're generally not gonna have to resort to the pistols (with infinite ammo, of course) or knife. There are no secondary features, either. Disappointing.
Story: The thing that gets me is the story. There is none! You're some redneck named Serious Sam on a quest to rid Egypt of the evil skeletons, flying women, and giant robots. You run around, doing nothing but shooting, and get to the end. Bah. Rubbish. FPS games aren't known for gripping stories, but this is laughable. At least tell us why the hell we're in Egypt, shooting stupid looking monsters, with a bizzare Quad laser and a cannon.
Sound: The music gets on my nerves. You either do it right (Soldier of Fortune, with the sudden bursts of suspenseful music when danger is near) or don't do it at all (Half-Life, with it's focus on ambience and tension). This game has annoying songs, and they speed up when enemies come by. In this game, that's often, and the player probably won't know if he should be calm or excited, thanks to the ever changing tempo.
Graphics: Here's something Serious Sam does right! The graphics are great, and the game can handle many enemies on screen at once. The textures are all Egyptian, so don't expect diverse textures. I've heard about some graphics cards screwing up textures, but no problems here.
Buy or Burn? Burn. If you want something to buy, go buy Half-life. If you have it, get the new Blue Shift mod (in stores now). If you have that, get Soldier of Fortune. If you have THAT, get Rainbow Six, and if you have that, it's expansion packs. And if you have those, pick up Unreal Tournament. Have it, get Diablo 2. And finally, if you have that, and all of the above, then consider picking up Serious Sam. But by all means, save the cash and burn it. This game is anything but serious. If shoot 'em ups are your thing, knock yourself out. But I'll stick to my HAlf-Lifes and Soldier of Fortunes.
Reviewer's Rating: 1.5 - Bad
Originally Posted: 06/07/01, Updated 06/07/01
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