Leisure Suit Larry VII Walkthrough

This walkthrough was personally made by Catz (catz@freedomnet.com) and
he is to be blamed
for all mistakes, spelling errors, and all the such.  Anyone can
download this and put it on their
web page, provided I at least get credit for writing the damn thing.
This walkthrough is the first
one on the net (so far), and only gives you about 987 points, and only
finding 29 Where's
Dildo's?  The other dildo's are there, I just overlooked them.  Please
excuse errors on this
walkthrough, as it was made very quickly.  This walkthrough will be
revised on a web format,
with pictures and diagrams and crap.  Any ideas and the such should go
to catz@freedomnet.com

Beginning Tips
------------------
I have personally found that turning on "Closed Captioning" by
choosing the "Game" menu from
the top pull-down menus, and selecting the bottom option, "Closed
Captioning", or by pressing
Ctrl-T helps a LOT.  Typed sentences may contain clues by capitalizing
key words, but you don't
hear any emphasis on the word when the narrator says it.

You can't die, or become trapped for any reason at all.  Therefore,
try ANYTHING you like,
without fear of consequences.

Love for Sail! Is a game of exploration.  So don't miss anything!
Look at each new scene
carefully.  Click on anything that causes your cursor to highlight.
Try all the menu choices.  Talk
to everyone you see.  Take notes.  Remember what they say, as it may
come in handy later as
something to talk about with one of your new friends.

Things change during the course of the game.  New characters may
appear.  Keep looking
around.

Think creatively.  When you get "stuck", leave and explore other
areas.  You never know where
you might find just what you need.  Above all, relax, let your
imagination run wild, and have fun!

Complete Walkthrough
---------------------------

La Costa Lotta
------------------
In the beginning, you and Shamara are finishing up what you both
started in Leisure Suit Larry
VI.  After a bit, she suggests doing something new.  So, she shackles
your hands to the headboard
with "Sisters of Steel" brand handcuffs.  You might think this kinky
new fantasy might be nice,
but it doesn't last long.  As soon as you're shackled, she takes your
wallet and leaves the hotel
room, but not without stuffing her cigarette in your mouth first.  Of
course, you don't smoke, so
you do the stupidest thing possible: spit out the cigarette on the
bed, and catch the bed sheet on
fire.  The first thing you want to do, is take the Lil' Hair Weave Kit
on the dresser to the right of
Larry.  Then, take the Vice Grips from the dresser to the left of
Larry.  Access your inventory, by
pressing Ctrl-I, or right clicking anywhere, and choosing "Inventory".
Left click once on the Lil'
Hair Weave Kit, and choose "Open".  Then, left click on the Vice
Grips, and choose "Use" and
choose "Needle".  This bends the needle for you, in a zig-zag shape,
perfect for picking locks.  As
soon as Larry calms down, and stays still, left click on the handcuffs
on his hand, and choose Use. 
Choose to use the bent needle in the handcuffs.  This gets you out of
the burning bed, thankfully,
but gets you in a dead end, with the fire inching closer to you,
unthankfully.  The Fire Chief tells
you to jump.  No problem, right?  Only because you're on the fortieth
floor, that shouldn't make
any difference.  However, there's a tiny problem; a glass sliding
door.  Did I mention the fire
heated the frame, so that you can't open it, either?  Didn't think so.
Well, looks like you're going
to have to break it with something.  The lamp is too heavy for you to
live (20 pounds is waaay
too heavy for Larry) and the chair crumbles as you smash it against
the door.  Guess we'll have to
try some Larry-force.  Left click on the glass sliding door, and
choose "Other..."  Type in
"Break", and you'll throw yourself through the glass door, painfully,
might I add.  You make it to
the balcony, which is where you find a small picture of a cruise ship,
which you pocket.  Then, the
moment of truth comes: you have to leap forty floors to your safety,
or to your death.  Pretty fun,
eh?  Unfortunately, Larry doesn't have a choice, because the force of
the explosion pushes him off
the balcony.  He DOES land on the net, however.  And then he proceeds
to bounce off numerous
things on, and off screen, landing on a nice, soft, cactus.  "Leisure
Suit Larry, you've just leapt
from the 40th floor of a burning building!  What are you going to do
next?"  Take a cruise, of
course!

The PMS Bouncy (Boarding the ship and first activities)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Larry arrives at the docks, and meets the beautiful Captain Thygh, and
gets slapped within the
first two sentences he utters.  He boards the ship, and is then given
his room keycard by the
purser, but of course, there was a problem with his original room, and
he's been moved to a much
BIGGER room.  (If you've played previous Leisure Suit Larry games, you
know what to expect).
Anyway, just look around the main lobby a bit, and soon, an
announcement comes on, to anyway
wishing to hump the Captain for the next week, they should report to
the Lounge.  Well, needless
to say, you run straight for the Lounge first.  After you get the
announcement, right click
anywhere on the screen, and choose "Map".  This gives you a map of the
ship, and if you hold
your cursor over an area, and the area gets highlighted, you can
travel to that area.  In the lower
right, it shows you a screenshot of the room you'd enter if you click
on that area.  Look at the
second to the top floor of the ship, and hold your cursor over the red
area in the middle of the
deck.  It shows in the lower right corner, that it is the "Proud Lil'
Seaman Lounge".  This is
exactly where you want to go.  Click on the red area, and you get
"magically" transported there. 
Peter the Purser explains the TMT (Thygh Man Trophy) contest.  After
he is done talking, feel
free to look around, and look at the cannons, or chests.  You want to
pay special attention to the
left row of chests, about 3 chests back.  You should see a speck of
red and white striped,
something.  Go ahead and click on it.  Welcome to "Where's Dildo?",
which is a fun game making
fun of "Where's Waldo?".  Just find 32 of these little suckers, and
you get something special.  1
down, 31 to go.  After you're done with that, click on the door at the
bottom of the stage, to
leave the lounge.  This leads you out to a top deck.  As you might
notice by sight and hearing, in
the lower right, you see a flashing "1" picture.  This tells you to
whip out your "CyberSniff 2000"! 
Find the number 1 square on your CyberSniff 2000, and scratch it
lightly.  Then, sniff the number
1 square.  Get a big old whiff of sea air.  It's just like you're
there.  You can examine the many
interesting topiaries that the PMS Bouncy has on exhibit.  Hidden in
the "Where's Dildo" topiary,
you should she another Where's Dildo?.  Go ahead and click him.  2
down, 30 to go.     Go ahead
and move your cursor to the far left, until you get a left arrow icon.
Click, and go left.  Here, you
can see a fire hose case, and you probably see a fat woman pirate,
too.  (If not, don't worry,
you'll see her soon enough!)  Go ahead and click on the fire hose
case, and choose "Open". 
Then, click on the fire hose itself, and take it.  If you see the
pirate woman, click on her, and
choose Talk.  Now, you see a menu of options that you can click on,
and Larry will discuss that
topic with Peggy.  Choose "Your Name", and you tell her you can tell
where she got her name
from, and she returns your friendly ice breakers with a half dozen
expletives.  After you have
chosen all the options, you should have learned a couple things.  One,
mixing KZ Sexual
Lubricant, and Deodorant will cause an explosion.  Two, Peggy swears
an awful lot.  Now, if you
like, you can choose "Other.." from the conversation menu, and you get
to choose the topic. 
Type in "Captain" to get a colorful description of Captain Thygh.
After you've heard enough,
choose Goodbye.  Continue on your way left.  Now, do you see the
sneaky Where's Dildo? in this
screen?  Well, he's behind the sheep topiary pot.  3 down, 29 to go.
Go ahead and look at the
topiary sheep, and take some kumquats.  You'll be glad you did later.
(Although from the
particular kumquats you picked, the sheep isn't too happy).  Now, you
see another character in
this screen.  Go ahead and talk to him.  His name is Rod.  His job is
entertaining the non-existent
children on this cruise.  And I must say, he's doing a bang-up job.
Talk to him again, and he'll
make you a balloon animal.  Keep talking, and he'll make you a huge
range of different balloon
animals.  (Yeah, right).  At this time, bring up your inventory, and
let's take a look at what we
have.  You can left click on any item, and look at it, and see what it
is.  Look at your TMT Card,
and you see what competitions you have to participate in.  The
competitions are: Poop Deck
Horseshoes, Craps Tournament, Tail Deck Bowling, LoveMaster 2000,
Captain's Cook-Off, and
Best-Dressed Man.  Oh yeah, you'll have no problem with this.  Sheesh
Larry, good luck...you're
gonna need it.

The LoveMaster 2000 Contest
------------------------------------
Get the ship map on screen, and look at the available rooms, until you
get to "Library".  Go there. 
By the grandfather clock, is yet another Where's Dildo?.  4 down, 28
to go.  Feel free to look at
all the different books in the bookcases.  After you're done, go
right.  Here, you meet Victorian
Principles.  A submissive librarian with an extreme nymphomaniacal,
darker side of her, hidden
away.  You consider it your job to release that inner beast.  Go ahead
and talk with her.  From the
topics, you learn that she dislikes "spicy" literature, but you're
sure she would love it, if she was
just exposed to some.  In this conversation, "Other..." as the topic
is very important.  No matter
what you type, she turns around to her computer, and doesn't see you
for about 10 seconds.  Go
ahead and take the mucilage in front of the pile of books.  That's all
you can do in here for now,
so split.  Say goodbye to her, and go south.  Now, take a look at the
champagne waterfall.  Right
next to it, is a column, and peeking out of it, is a little Where's
Dildo?.  Go ahead and let him
loose.  5 down, 27 to go.  Our next stop is the Clothing Optional
Pool, so whip out your ship
map, and click on the pool.  In the changing cabana, you can see
people come and go, and there's
a little Where's Dildo? in the bushes toward the left.  6 down, 26 to
go.  Continue on your way
right, and you'll be stopped by Dick.  Apparantely, you can't wear
you're leisure suit out in the
sun, for fear of igniting.  You can understand that, so you get a
loaner bathing suit.  And what a
normal looking bathing suit it is. At least you can have a towel to
cover it up.  When you get past
Dick, the CyberSniff 2000 shows a 2.  So, grab your sheet, and scratch
and sniff number 2.  It's
suntan lotion!  Well anyway, this nude woman on a chaise lounge gets
sunscreen in her eyes, and
asks for a towel, groping blindly in the air.  Sure enough, you walk
right in the path, and your
cover is shot, and your bathing suit shown.  How humiliating.    Well,
anyway, you get in a
conversation with this woman, and learn her name is Drew Baringmore.
Talk to her on all the
options, and learn quite a few things.  One, Drew has had her cabin
boy lock up her clothes in a
place where she can never get them.  Two, a Gigantic Erection is a
cocktail, that takes an awful
long time to prepare.   Three, the book you want for Victorian, "The
Erotic Adventures of
Hercules", is in Drew's hands, and she's not done with it.  Also, on
your way out, take a look at
"Peoples" magazine to learn about the Juggs.  Well, it's about time
you checked out your new
digs, so go ahead and get out your ship map, and choose Cabin 0.  The
first thing you should
notice is the Where's Dildo? directly in front of you, behind the
bucket.  7 down, 25 to go.  The
second thing you should notice, is the CyberSniff 2000 flashing the
number 6.  Take a big ol'
whiff of number 6 on your card, and you should smell a dank pit like
smell.  Feel free to look
around, sleep on the cot.  Also, check out the toilet pipe, and unclog
it by taking out the can of
Silicone Lubricant.  Also, on the opposite side of the toilet, is some
nice toilet paper.  Go ahead
and take it.  Go back to the clothing optional pool, and go left, to
Drew's deck.  Dick will stop
you again, but in a couple sentences, you've got your elephant, and
ready for action.  Talk to
Drew, and ask her about her book again.  She'll give it to you this
time.  Great, something to give
Victorian!  Go on back to the library, and prepare to swap some books.
Once you've gotten the
talking bar up, choose "Other.." and then type anything you want.
This will make Vicki turn
around, and type on the computer for 10 seconds.  Now, take your time,
you can make Vicki turn
and type as much as you want, so you have tons of chances to do this.
First off, take the book
with the yellow cover.  It's the top book on the stack.  Once you have
it in your inventory, go in
your inventory, and click on it.  Choose Remove Jacket.  Then, click
on the book jacket, and use
it with the dirty book.  Now you have the dirty book with the Prudish
And Proud cover.  Exit
your inventory, and click the book stack, and use it with the Erotic
book with the Prudish cover. 
Now, you're all set.  Whip out your map, and go back to your cabin.
Now, hiding beside the
toilet is another Where's Dildo?.  Go ahead and click him.  8 down, 24
to go.  Now, whip out
your map again, and choose the Sexual Prowess competition area.  It's
in the purple rectangle of
blocks. Where's Dildo? time again!  This time he's sticking out of the
fourth booth.  Click him.  9
down, 23 to go. Now, the CyberSniff 2000 also tells you smell a very
strong number 7 smell. 
Take a little sniff, and it smells like fish.  Go figure.  Next, click
on the lips on the left wall, and
use your TMT card in the lips/cardreader.  Next, watch poor Larry's
attempt to win.  You gotta
feel sorry for the guy.  On your way out, push the green button beside
the fourth booth.  After
you're done in there, take out the map, and take another walk to your
cabin.  You should notice
another Where's Dildo? hiding out behind the pipes in the lower left
hand corner.  10 down, 22 to
go.  Vicki should be just about done now, so go ahead and use your map
to travel to the library. 
You should notice a change in music, telling you what to expect up
ahead.  You'll also notice a
bigger Where's Dildo? on the screen towards the right, behind the
pineapple.  11 down, 21 to go. 
Well, might as well talk to the new, improved Vicki.  After you ask
about the weather, it'll turn
her on so much, that she actually has sex with you.  (Not having her
glasses on made you look a
lot better) Well, having absolutely no clothes, you try to make it to
your cabin without being
noticed.  However, an old lady sees you just as you near your room.
So much for secrecy.  As
you get dressed in your room, you should notice that since you've
"interacted" with Vicki, there
is now a bitmap saved in your LSL7 directory called "vicky.bmp".  I
suggest you take a look at it. 
Well, after that experience, you just can't wait for more.  Get your
ship map out, and go to the
Library, again.  Now, finish your conversation with Victorian.  After
asking about Sex, Larry
challenges Vicki to prove that she's the most sexually- competent
person on the ship.  He tells
her to take his scorecard, and beat the LoveMaster 2000.  Well,
needless to say, she passes with
flying colors.  You didn't win the bet, but you got a record high
score on the LoveMaster 2000. 
One competition down.

The Best Dressed Man Contest
-------------------------------------
Now that you're done with the LoveMaster, onto the Best Dressed
Competition.  Get out the
ship map, and choose the Best Dressed Competition area, in the purple
rectangle of blocks. 
Aww, isn't that cute?  A Where's Dildo? right next to the computer,
beside you.  Pick him up.  12
down, 20 to go.  Now, let's see you blow this contest out of the
water.  Unzip the mannequin's
fly (Yes, I'm serious) and discover the cleverly hidden cardreader.
Wow, record high score,
right?  I mean, isn't two just a wonderful score?  Ok, looks like you
need to cheat on this contest
as well.  Take out your map, and travel to Captain Queeg's Ballroom.
Since the main doors are
open, go on through.  Now, besides the nude swimmers at the top, you
should notice a Where's
Dildo? on stage.  Go ahead and punch him with the mouse cursor.  13
down, 19 to go.  Now, talk
to the woman behind the drawing table.  You find out she's the
infamous Jamie Lee Coitus.  By
talking to her, you learn that Calvin Klone pirated her spring line,
and sold it as his.  It's obvious
she needs your help.  Click "Other..." and type in leisure suits.  All
right!  Now she'll show leisure
suits, and then retro will be in again, and you can win the contest!
But where will you get a bunch
of polyester from?  I'll tell you where.  Pop up your map, and click
on the El Replicant Sculpture
Garden.  Wow.  A really big David made of playing cards, and an almost
finished Venus de Milo
of casino dice.  If you look carefully beside David's foot, you can
see another Where's Dildo?. 14
down, 18 to go.  You gotta some of these dice as a souvenir.  Click on
Venus' foot, and her big
toe, and take a couple souvenir dice.  Next, go down, and you're back
in the main room.  You
should see yet another Where's Dildo? beside the giant books at the
entrance leading to the
library.  15 down, 17 to go.  After you've clicked him, move right,
back into the Sculpture
Garden.  The sculptor is gone, and you can climb the ladder of the
scaffolding to the Venus O'
Dice.  Check out Bob Bitt's toolbox.  On the top is a very handy
screwdriver.  Go ahead and
pocket it.  Go to your map again, and this time, head for the
Employees Only area.  It's close to
the Sculpture Garden.  On it, you see the many faces of past TMT
contest winners, and a big
picture of Captain Thygh herself, in a bathing suit.  And also, you
might notice a big security door
with a bunch of testing equipment to gain access to.  And of course,
there are those lasers in front
of you.  Well, Larry Laffer was never one to back away from a
challenge.  Since you can't die,
just walk right up to the security door, ignoring those large painful
weapons that pop out of
everywhere as you pass the lasers.  Click on the security door, and
choose "Other..." and type in
"Push".  I guess someone left it open just enough for you to get in.
Once you get inside, you can
see a little Where's Dildo? hiding behind one of the chairs to the
right.  Click him.  16 down, 16 to
go.  Now, go ahead and check out the counter.  There you can take a
tube of KZ Sexual
Lubricant, beside the coffee maker; and a jackpot preventer jumper
wire above the microwave and
the shaved dice bowl.  Take both of these items, and check out the
view of Captain Thygh on the
fridge (naked), and the wall (barely clothed), and also check out the
lockers on the wall.  After
you've taken in all the scenery, take out your map, and go to the top
of the ship; the bridge.  The
first thing you see, is a ladder, so you might as well climb it.  This
takes you up to the sails, take a
look at them, and you find out they are made of 100% pure polyester.
Now if you could only
raise the sails.  There's gotta be controls in the bridge, right?
Climb down the pole, and go into
the bridge.  Aww, you see another Where's Dildo? in there.  17 down,
15 to go.  Well, the
controls you want to access are there, but there's a big killer dog
guarding them.  Hmm, nothing
we can do about him now.  Go back outside, and; wait!  That control
box under the life preserver
looks like it could be the controls that we couldn't get to inside!
Take out your trusty
screwdriver, and unscrew the cover.  Hmm, the speaker fuse, and the
sail fuse.  Since there are so
many announcements, let's rig it up so that the sails raise every time
an announcement is made. 
You are truly a genius, Larry.  Take out your jumper wire, and use it
on either of the fuses. 
Things should happen now.  Ok, climb back up the ladder, and wait for
an announcement.  Wow,
you actually made it work!  All right!  Now if you only had something
to cut it with.  Looks like
you need to take a trip to the dining room, Larry.  That's the most
logical place that a knife would
be found.  Take out the map, and go to The Heaving Ho'.  First you
thing you notice is the
wonderful ice carving of Captain Thygh, which looks very realistic.
Go ahead and lick it. 
Scanning the room, you also see the door at the far side of the room,
with various signs reading
"18 and older Only!" "Closed to the Public!" and other various
messages.  Holding your ear up to
the door and listening, you hear that they seem to be having a great
time!  You want in, but the
door is locked.  Oh well.  As you continue to scan the dining room,
you see a nice big bowl of
bean dip.  You just can't resist.  Go ahead and eat some.  Oopsies!
Looks like the dip gave us a
problem.  Go ahead and click yourself, and find out you have a new
option, "Fart".  Try it out. 
Uh oh!  CyberSniff 2000 time!!  And no matter how much you don't want
to, scratch number 5
on your card, and take a huge whiff.  It's like you were just beside
Larry.  Well, looks like on the
buffet table near the middle, at the bottom is your friend, Where's
Dildo?.  Go ahead and kick him
off the table.  18 down, 14 to go.  Next, you see the meat carver, at
the right.  Go ahead and talk
to him.  He'll give you a nice serving of s'Pork, that great stuff.
Talk to him again, and you get
even more s'Pork!  All right!  The good news is, he's gone, and you
can take whatever you want. 
And that's the last you'll ever see of Wang.  He never comes back.
Well, that strange hanging
meat has certainly caught your eye.  And one of them is striped!
Click on it, and you find out it's
your good buddy, Where's Dildo?.  19 down, 13 to go.  Also, that knife
is just what you were
looking for, so pocket it.  And that heat lamp looks nice too, so take
the heat bulb.  Now, you're
all ready for the sails again.  Using your map, head back to the
bridge, and climb the ladder.  If the
sails aren't up, wait for an announcement.  When they're up, climb on
the pole, and use the knife
to cut some polyster.  And, of course, shortly after there is an
announcement, and the sails come
down; with you in them.  Ironically enough, that's the last
announcement of the evening, and you
spend all night in a sail.  Morning comes, and the morning
announcement is made, and the sails go
up, and you fall down on the bridge.  Ouch.  Well, at least you have
the cloth.  Go back to
Captain Queeg's Ballroom, and talk to Jamie Lee.  Use the polyster on
her.  Well, you end up
naked...again.  This time you know you can get back to your room
unseen.  Well, that's what you
thought, until Peggy showed up.  Ech.  Well, Larry, Jamie Lee had to
leave you something at the
Ballroom, right?  Go on back.  Ah, a note!  It tells you to meet Jamie
backstage.  All right!!!  Get
on backstage, and prepare yourself.  Well, you end up ONstage, but you
make the best of it, and
start showing off your fashion.  Well, I think they loved it, after
all, they ripped your suit to
shreds.  Okay, once again, you stumble back to your room with nothing
on, and know you aren't
going to meet anyone on the way.  Instead, you meet a reporter from
Inside Edition.  Oh well. 
Now that you've "interacted" with Jamie Lee, a bitmap has been saved
in your LSL7 directory,
called "jamielee.bmp".  I suggest you take a look at it.  You won't
regret it.  Well, now that the
"Larry" fashion is in, go back to the Best Dressed contest, and take
another stab at it.  All right, a
win!  Congrats!  Two contests down.

The Craps Tournament
---------------------------
Ok, you feel like gambling now, right?  Get out your map, and go to
the Pair O' Dice Casino. 
What do you see on the blackjack seats below?  Why, it's Where's
Dildo?!  20 down, 12 to go. 
Well, it looks like you can't even lose at craps, because the table is
too full.  But, you did notice
how the people reacted to your "problem" with the bean dip.  Maybe
it'll work here.  Go back to
the dining room, eat some bean dip, and come back to the casino.
Then, go ahead and fart.  Sure,
it's socially unacceptable, but now the craps table is empty!  Talk to
the "Croupier", and get a feel
for his attitude.  Then, go ahead, and play.  And lose, too.  Hmm, it
looks like those souvenir dice
with the glue would help right now.  Nuts!  Looks like Jacques won't
let you use those dice.  Use
the souvenir dice with the toilet paper, to get the new, improved
completely illegal, but Jacques
doesn't know, dice.  Now that you got your shaved dice, nothing can
stop you.  Bet again, and
once Jacques gives you the casino dice, use your shaved dice on the
table instead.  Once you start
winning, a woman named Dewmi Moore (Nice name, eh?) takes notice of
you, and offers you a
game of Strip Liar's Dice.  You accept, of course, (The game has the
word "strip" in it) and you
go to her cabin.  The rules are relatively easy, you can view them by
clicking on "How to Play". 
It takes a lot of saving, and restoring, but you'll win.  The first
few times you win, she pays for
new dice by paying up some money, but after she runs out of money,
things start getting
interesting.  After your fifth win, she starts taking off clothes.
First to go are the shoes, then her
blouse, then her skirt, and then she buys a die from the excess money
she made off the skirt. 
After that, she takes off an earring, and then the other earring.
Then, off the excess money she
made off both earrings, she buys another die.  After that, things
start getting serious.  She then
takes off her panties, but after that, she doesn't buy any more die,
she waits until all her die are
gone, so you have to win 5 more times.  Then, she starts taking off
her bra, when she offers you a
drink to loosen up.  You decline at first, but then accept.  And just
as she's taking off her bra, you
slip into this deep dream like phycadelic sex-oriented state of mind,
with 60's music playing in the
background.  She's drugged ya!  Well, you wake up naked, in her pool,
and once again have to
walk to your room.  Once again, someone sees you, this time a nun.
Egads!  Once you're
dressed, I suggest you save your game, load up a picture viewer, and
view "dewmi.bmp" in your
LSL7 directory.  It'll be worth the time and effort.  And then, you
get the announcement that you
won the craps tournament.  Good job!  Three contests down.

Poop Deck Horseshoes
---------------------------
After your encounter with Dewmi, go back to her room using your map.
On the table near the
left wall, you see what she drugged you with: Orgasmic Powder!  Well,
no big deal.  Now to win
that Cook Off.  First stop, go back to the Promenade Deck, and talk to
Peggy.  Talk to her about
a Cabin Boy, and then the break room.  And if you looked at the
lockers, and tried to open them,
then tell her about the lockers, and she'll give you the locker to
look in.  If not, go back and try to
open the lockers.    Go back to the lockers, and open the second one
from the left, on the bottom
row.  Then, go back to Peggy and ask her the combonation.  She tells
you the combo, 38-24-36. 
Go back to the lockers and punch it in.  And you get smashed by the
locker bay.  Go in, and talk
to Xqwzts, and talk to him about the dirty pictures.  Then ask how he
did it, and finally buy the
pictures from him.  Next, get out of Xqwzts's room.  Then, go to the
main room, with the
waterfall of champagne a.k.a.  Das Grande Atriumo.  Talk to Peter the
Purser about everything. 
Then, use the white courtesy phone on the column next to the main
desk.  Call pranks.  Then,
walk away from the phone, and look at the roofs above you.  On the
second one, is your good pal
and mine, Where's Dildo?  Get him.  21 down, 11 to go.  Then, go back
to the Promenade Deck,
and ask Peggy about Xqwzts.  You find out that Xqwzts wants a passport
very badly.  Go to the
purser again, and ask him about obtaining your passport.  You find out
you need a Photo I.D. 
Well, we got our dirty pictures, we got mucilage, and we got a
keycard.  Put the mucilage on the
dirty pictures, and paste them on the keycard.  Bingo!  Our Photo I.D.
Show it to the Purser to
get your passport, and then go back to Xqwzts.  Show him the passport,
and he runs off with it. 
But, he leaves his custodial key.  Go ahead and take it.  You've just
gained access to three new
areas.  Now, let's take a look at the credits, to thank the wonderful
people who made this game. 
Go to the pull down menus at the top, choose Help, and choose About...
Wow!!  Look!!  It's
Where's Dildo?!  22 down, 10 to go.  Now, go ahead and thank each
member of the Larry team. 
After you're done, get out your map and go to the Ballroom.  Read the
note that Jamie Lee left
you.  Oh well, Larry.  Things will get better.  Now, let's go to your
room again.  Try to flush your
toilet, and learn it's out of water.  No problem!  Hook up your fire
hose to the water pipe behind
the staircase, and flush the toilet again.  There we go!  Now, head on
over to the Poop Deck. 
Talk to those large-breasted woman in the hot tub.  So these are the
Juggs we read about.  From
talking to them, you'll learn that by mixing Spandex, Silicone
Lubricant, and heat, you get a nice
little chemical reaction that'll provide some neat effects with the
Juggs.  Maybe you should try
that out?  Now, go on to the Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge, and head
southeast.  You'll run into a
bar.  Talk to the bartender, and order some Lime Juice.  While he's
making it, check out the
Where's Dildo? near the west side of the window.  23 down, 9 to go.
After he's done with your
lime juice, order a Gigantic Erection, like Drew did.  He'll tell you
it'll take a while.  Now, when
he's gone, exit the bar, and go into the room to the left of the bar
window.  This is the Juggs'
dressing room.  Hmm, your silicone lubricant looks a lot like the
deodorant on their dressing
table.  Make a swap.  And now you have KZ Lubricant, and Deodorant,
you can make a nice little
show.  And can you see the little Where's Dildo? behind those hay
stacks?  24 down, 8 to go. 
Also, you can check out their Karaoke system as well.  Don't forget to
push the red button next
to the records on your way out!  Leave the dressing room, and notice
that the lighting system has
come down!  Take a look at the lamp, take out the current bulb, and
replace it with the heat lamp
bulb.  That should do it!  Now, order another Gigantic Erection, go
back in the dressing room,
and hit the button again to raise the lighting trusses.  And one of
the times you go in the dressing
room, if you're lucky, you just might see the Juggs in there.  And
believe me, it's something you
want to see.  Leave, and go anywhere, and prompty return to the
lounge.  You should see the
Juggs performance, and I must say, it's pretty damn good.  You get to
even take part in it!  After
you're wonderful experience, you once again leave for your room
exposed.  And a bunch of
Japanese photographers are there to greet you.  At this point, open
juggs.bmp in your LSL7
directory.  You'll be glad you did!  Once again, leave for the Lounge,
and go up on stage via the
new stairway to the right.  Grab those chase lights on stage, and head
left.  Grab the remote on
the switchboard, and play with Mr. Karaoke, if you like.  Once you've
gotten everything, get your
map out, and go to the horseshoes competition.  Do you see Where's
Dildo? to the right of the
champagne waterfall on the opposite court?  25 down, 7 to go.  Now,
take your TMT Scorecard,
and shove it up the Centaur's ass.  No, I'm not joking.  You get some
spiffy horseshoes.  Now
play, and lose.  Then, take out your card from the horse's ass, and go
to the Sculpture Garden. 
Climb the ladder of the Venus O' Dice, and wrap the Battery Powered
Chase Lights on the spike. 
That oughtta fix your losing streak at horseshoes, as soon as you turn
on the belt.  That spike is
the horseshoe spike from the above deck, if you hadn't noticed.  Head
back to the horseshoe area,
stuff your card in the cardreader in the horse, and turn on the
remote.  Now, play some
horseshoes and win!  Take your keycard, and listen to the wonderful
announcement of you
winning yet another competition.  Four contests down.

Tail Deck Bowling
----------------------
Ok, go to the bowling competition, and let's see how well you do at
this.  Well, look what's
hiding behind that little rhino butt!  It's Where's Dildo?!  26 down,
6 to go.  Insert your TMT
scorecard in between the walrus teeth, and get your bowling ball.
Now, play, and...lose.  Oh well. 
Go back to the Employees Only lounge, and go into Xqwzts's room.  Now,
using your
screwdriver, open up the vent, and crawl in.  Ah, looks like you're
behind the door of that locked
room in the dining room!  Aha!  Well, just jump right in!  Click on
yourself (you're near the right
wall, kinda at the top), and click Undress.  Well, that was certainly
interesting.  Again, you trudge
to your room naked, and Peter gets ya this time.  Eep!  While you walk
down the stairs, you
notice the woman in black at the Dessert Eating, is sitting on your
bed.  You both get into a
discussion, and the Larry and the woman completely misunderstand one
another.  She gives him a
"sample" of what to expect, and also drops her hanky.  Once you get
dressed, pick up the hankie,
and go to the dining room, and go up, into the dessert eating room.
Take a look around, sniff the
CyberSniff 2000, and take a look at the chair in the lower left corner
of the table.  You smell the
same perfume that you had smelled previously on that woman in black,
and you find a life
insurance policy under the chair.  Now to find out who this woman is.
Take a look at the policy,
read it, and find out who she is.  Now, go to Peter Purser, and ask
him about her.  Hmm, no luck. 
Go to the white courtesy phone, and call Boning a couple times.  Once
you've called him twice,
talk to Peter again, and ask him about your account.  When he's gone,
look at his phone, and
push the red LND button to find out Annette Boning's cabin number.
Now, to pay her a visit. 
Go to her cabin, and open the door.  Now, you're in the dark with a
bed, and a person in the bed
who appears to be Annette.  Hop in!  Well, you learn a whole lot of
crap, including you were
"boning" Mr. Boning!  Yipes!  A whole lot of mass miscommunication
happens between Annette
and Larry, and he winds up naked going to his room again.  This time
he couldn't care less if
someone saw him, but then a little girl and her mommy come.  Eek,
again!  Once you get dressed,
take a look at annette.bmp, it's pretty good!  Well, you don't give up
easy, so head back to the
Boning cabin, ring the doorbell, and talk to Mrs. Boning.  Well, Ms.
now.  Give her the life
insurance, and she'll give ya half a billion dollars in stock.  But
you wanted to get laid!  Oh well,
now at least you can win the bowling competition.  How, might you ask?
Simple.  Whip out Mr.
Ship Map, and choose to go to the Aft Hold.  Use the custodial key in
the handle.  So this is
where they make bowling pins, eh?  I bet you could win the contest
using that cool little
deodorant-on-the-KZ-jelly-things-go-boom trick.  Open up the bowling
pin hopper that's right
next to you, and spray your deodorant on the pins.  Now, go in your
inventory, and put the KZ
jelly on the hanky you got from Annette.  Go back to the bowling
alleys, and insert your keycard
in the walrus teeth, take your ball, and use it with the treated
hanky.  Now, bowl, and win!  All
right, that was quite a show!  And now you've won the bowling.  5
contests down.

Captain's Cook Off
-----------------------
Get out your map, and travel to the kitchen.  Can you see Where's
Dildo? in the meats?  27 down,
5 to go.  Go ahead and take the fish in newspaper on the center table,
and the pot and salt on the
southwest table.  Also, use the CaviarMaster 2000 on the west table.
Then, read the magazine
you just got.  It tells you a neat little recipe you can make
yourself.  All you need is beaver milk,
lime juice, salt, mold, and kumquats.  You have 3 out of 5 things, the
others shouldn't be that
hard to get.  Using your map, go to the Lower Aft Hold, and use the
key in the door.  Now, click
on any beaver, and choose Other, and type in milk.  What a show! And
now you have beaver
milk!  Next, travel to the Forward Hold.  Use the key in the handle,
and check out the Where's
Dildo? hidden behind some luggage to your left.  28 down, 4 to go.
Now, all you need is mold. 
Go to the Captain's Quarters, and take a look at the scoreboard.
Sheesh, you're close!  Only one
more contest to go.  Knock on the Captain's room, and you get a little
taste of what it's like to be
a TMT winner.  Go on back to the Optional Clothing Pool, and look at
the bush to the right.  Do
I see a little Where's Dildo??  29 down, 3 to go.  Now, go back and
talk to Drew, and get her to
go to your cabin.  After she tells you that she has no clothes, and
her suitcase is locked up, go into
the Forward Hold, and Drew's suitcase will be thrown at you.  Get the
suitcase, and travel back
to Drew.  Tell her about the suitcase, and she'll go to your cabin.
However, she takes a shower,
and never comes out.  But there's something you can do to get her to
come out.  Flush the toilet,
and listen to her screams.  Well, it didn't work out as you expected,
you thought she could take a
little joke.  Now, you might wanna check out drew.bmp, you'll like it.
Leave your cabin, and
come back, and mold should have grown in the safety shower.  Take
some.  Now, travel to the
kitchen, and use the milk with the CyberCheese 2000.  Now, you've got
some Beaver cheese. 
Use the kumquats with the cheese, and you'll whip up some quiche.  But
it still won't win the
taste contest.  I know!  Put some of that orgasmic powder on it.  That
oughtta get a reaction out
of those judges.  Go to the Cook-Off, and give them your quiche.  And,
of course, you win.  All
contests are done!  Congratulate yourself, Larry.

Captain Thygh, One on One
---------------------------------
Finally, you win the contest!  Some good luck, for a change.  Go up to
the Captain's Quarters,
and politely knock on the door.  Uh oh.  Out comes last week's winner,
who gives you a warning
not to enter.  To hell with him, you've gotten this far, right?  As
you enter the door, you see a
wonderful land, with green grass and blue skies.  You, of course,
sensing the opera music, get
dressed for the occasion, and after only one fall in the water, race
up the stairs to meet the
wonderful Captain Thygh.  How you wish she was as taken with you as
you are with her. 
However, she turns her head in disgust, and it crushes you.  (Kind
of).  But, as I said before, you
never give up!  After a short conversation with the captain, you learn
that she's always wanted to
operate a huge crude oil tanker.  Well, don't you have those stocks?
Go on and give them to her,
and happily watch the epilogue.  Congratulations on a job well done,
Larry.  Don't forget to look
at thygh.bmp!


Items List
------------
Name of Item             Place Gotten             How used
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lil' Hair Weave Kit      Shamara's Room           To open and get
needle
Vice Grips               Shamara's Room           To bend needle
Needle              	 Lil' Hair Weave Kit      To bend
Bent Needle              Lil' Hair Weave Kit      To unlock handcuffs
Your Cabin Keycard       Peter the Purser         To unlock your
cabin; to serve as photo i.d.
Ship's Map               Peter the Purser         To navigate the ship
TMT Scorecard            Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge To keep track of
events; scoring
Firehose                 Promenade Deck           In your cabin to
hook up toilet and water pipe
Kumquats                 Fo'c's'le                Used in quiche
recipe
Mucilage                 Library                  Used to paste photo
to keycard
Silicone Lubricant       Your Cabin               To replace with
deodorant in the Juggs dressing room
Toilet Paper             Your Cabin               To shave the
souvenir dice
"The Erotic...Hercules"  Clothing Optional Pool   Used to make
Victorian loose
"Prudish..." Sans Jacket Anywhere                 No use
"Prudish..." Book Jacket Anywhere                 Used on "Erotic..."
and given to Victorian
Souvenir Dice            Sculpture Garden         To get shaved and
win at craps
Screwdriver              Sculpture Garden         To unscrew the cover
to the PA system and sails, and also to unscrew the grate in Xqwzts's
room
KZ Sexual Lubricant      Employee Lounge          To be wiped on the
bowling ball with hanky to win Bowling contest
Jumper Wire              Employee Lounge          Used on PA system
and sail controls outside Bridge
Carving Knife            The Heaving Ho'          Used to cut
polyester from the ship's sails
Heat Lamp Bulb           The Heaving Ho'          Used on the lighting
trusses to make the Juggs "overheat"
Polyser Cloth            Above the Bridge         Used on Jamie Lee
Coitus to win Best Dressed Contest
Orgasmic Powder          Cabin 510 (Dewmi's Room) Used on quiche to
win Cook-Off
Dirty Pictures           Xqwzts's Room            Used with mucilage
and keycard to make photo i.d.
Sticky Dirty Pictures    Anywhere                 Used on keycard to
make photo i.d.
Photo I.D.               Anywhere                 Used with Peter the
Purser to gain Passport
Passport                 Peter the Purser         Given to Xqwzts
Custodial Key            Xqwzts's Room            Used to open the
ship holds
Magazine Page            Kitchen                  Used to get quiche
recipe
Pot                      Kitchen                  Used to hold beaver
milk
Salt                     Kitchen                  Used in quiche
recipe
Venezuelan Beaver Milk   Lower Aft Hold           Used in quiche
recipe
Lime Juice               Lounge                   Used in quiche
recipe
Deodorant Spray          The Juggs Dress Room     Used on bowling pins
in Aft Hold
Chase Lights             Lounge                   Used on spike in
Sculpture Garden
Remote Control           Proud Lil' Seaman Lounge Used to turn on
Chase Lights, and magnetize horseshoe stake
Woman's Handkerchief     Your Room after Annette  Used to apply KZ
jelly to bowling ball to win Bowling
Life Insurance Policy    Dessert Tasting Room     Given to Annette to
get stocks
Stock Certificate        Owner's Suite (Annette)  Given to Captain
Thygh to get laid
Treated Handkerchief     Anywhere                 Used to put on
bowling ball to win Bowling Contest
Mold                     Your Room (Drew)         Used in quiche
recipe


_
Lee Thompson                     shadow@nwlink.com
"It was the end of history"       
- Babylon 5 Season 4 (2261)     


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