Half-Life script
April 12, 2004
All dialogue is copyright of Valve Entertainment. This document is 
copyright of Matthew Sullivan 2004. 

This guide was written for the GameFAQs website. It may not be 
reproduced, in whole or in part, on any other website without 
permission from the author. This guide may be used for private, non-
commercial use only.

The purpose of this guide is to lay out the dialogue of Half-Life for 
those that wish to review or better understand the story of Half-Life. 
Since most of the story is spoken, it's sometimes difficult to hear 
over the various explosions, gunfire and screaming monsters present in 
the game. If you have corrections or additions, post them on the 
GameFAQs Half-Life message board.

Contents
-Introduction
-ANOMALOUS MATERIALS
-UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES
-OFFICE COMPLEX
-"WE'VE GOT HOSTILES"
-BLAST PIT
-POWER UP
-ON A RAIL
-APPREHENSION
-RESIDUE PROCESSING
-QUESTIONABLE ETHICS
-SURFACE TENSION
-"FORGET ABOUT FREEMAN!"
-LAMBDA CORE
-XEN
-GONARCH'S LAIR
-INTERLOPER
-NIHILANTH
-Scientist babble

The title "Half-Life" fades into a first person perspective of the 
inside of an automated train. Words appear on screen: "Black Mesa 
Research Facility: Black Mesa, New Mexico".

A recorded message begins to play on the loudspeaker.
Announcer: "Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa transit system. 
This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of 
the Black Mesa Research Facility personnel. The time is 8:47 A.M. 
Current topside temperature is 93 degrees with an estimated high of 
105. The Black Mesa compound is maintained at a pleasant 68 degrees at 
all times. This train is inbound from level 3 dormitories to sector C 
test labs and control facilities. If your intended destination is a 
high security area beyond sector C, you will need to return to the 
central transit hub in area 9 and board a high security train. If you 
have not yet submitted your identity to the retinal clearance system, 
you must report to Black Mesa personnel for processing before you will 
be permitted into the high security branch of the transit system.

"Due to the high toxicity of material routinely handled in the Black 
Mesa compound, no smoking, eating, or drinking are permitted within the 
Black Mesa transit system. Please keep your limbs inside the train at 
all times. Do not attempt to open the doors until the train has come to 
a complete halt at the station platform. In the event of an emergency, 
passengers are to remain seated and await further instruction. If it is 
necessary to exit the train, disabled personnel should be evacuated 
first. Please, stay away from electrified rails and proceed to an 
emergency station until assistance arrives. "

Words appear on the screen as the announcer continues: 

SUBJECT:
Gordon Freeman
Male, Age 27

EDUCATION:
Ph.D., MIT, Theoretical Physics

POSITION:
Research Associate

ASSIGNMENT: 
Anomalous Materials Laboratory

CLEARANCE:
Level 3

ADMINISTRATIVE SPONSOR:
Classified

DISASTER RESPONSE PRIORITY:
Discretionary


Announcer: "A reminder: that the Black Mesa Hazard Course decathalon 
will commence this evening at 1900 hours in the Level 3 facility. The 
semi-finals for high security personnel will be announced in a separate 
secure broadcast transmission. Remember: more lives than yours may 
depend on your fitness.

"Do you have a friend or relative who would make a valuable addition to 
the Black Mesa Team? Immediate openings are available in the areas of: 
materials handling, and low clearance security. Please contact Black 
Mesa personnel for further information. If you have an associate with a 
background in the areas of: theoretical physics, biotechnology, or 
other high-tech disciplines, please contact our civilian recruiting 
team. The Black Mesa Facility is an equal opportunity employer. 

"A reminder to all Black Mesa personnel: regular radiation and 
biohazard screenings are a requirement of continued employment in the 
Black Mesa Research Facility. Missing a scheduled urinalysis or 
radiation checkup is grounds for immediate termination. If you feel you 
have been exposed to radioactive or other hazardous materials in the 
course of your duties, contact your radiation safety officer 
immediately. Work safe, work smart. Your future depends on it."

The train stops at a long catwalk and a security officer walks toward 
it. 

Announcer: "Now arriving at sector C test labs and control facilities. 
Please stand back from the automated door, and wait for the security 
officer to verify your identity. Before exiting the train, be sure to 
check your area for personal belongings. Thank you, and have a very 
safe and productive day."

Security Guard: "Mornin, Mr. Freeman. Looks like you're runnin late."

Freeman steps into the airlock. Words onscreen announce the beginning 
of:

ANOMALOUS MATERIALS

Freeman walks up to the desk. There is a security guard and a 
scientist.

Security Guard: "Hey, Mr. Freeman. I had a bunch of messages for you, 
but we had a system crash about 20 minutes ago, and I'm still tryin to 
find my files. Just one of those days, I guess. They were havin some 
problems down in the test chamber, too, but I think that's all 
straightened out. They told me to make sure you headed down there as 
soon as you got into your hazard suit."

Freeman pushes a button, causing a computer terminal to pop up. 

Scientist: "Get away from there, Freeman! I'm expecting an important 
message!"

Freeman pushes a button under the desk, setting off a security alarm. 

Scientist: "My God! What are you doing?!"
Guard: "Hey, stop that! Come on, Gordon, are you trying to get me into 
trouble?"

Freeman heads into the complex, overhearing some of the conversation 
between the scientists. Heading toward the test chamber, Freeman is 
stopped by the security guard.

Guard: "Sorry, Mr. Freeman, I got explicit orders not to let you 
through without your hazard suit on." 

Freeman goes to the locker room and puts on his hazard suit.

H.E.V.: "Welcome to the H.E.V. mark IV protective system for use in 
hazardous environment conditions. High-impact reactive armor activated. 
Atmospheric contaminant sensors activated. Automatic medical systems 
engaged. Defensive weapon selection system activated. Munition level 
monitoring activated. Communications interface online. Have a very safe 
day." 

The guard now allows Freeman through and uses the retinal scanner to 
open the door to the test lab.

Guard: "Go right on through sir. Looks like you're in the barrel 
today."
Gordon proceeds through the test lab and comes upon a group of three 
scientists. 

Scientist 1: "Ah, Gordon. Here you are. We just sent the sample down to 
the test chamber. "
Scientist 2: "We boosted the anti-mass spectrometer 105%. Bit of a 
gamble, but we need the extra resolution."
Scientist 3: "The administrator is very concerned that we get a 
conclusive analysis of today's sample. I gather they went to some 
length to get it."
Scientist 1: "They're waiting for, Gordon, in the test chamber."

The scientist unlocks the door for Gordon using the retinal scanner. He 
proceeds down an elevator and toward the test chamber. On the way 
there, a circuit board explodes near two scientists, who rush over to 
check it out.

Scientist 4: "It's about to go critical!"
Scientist 5: "What the hell is going on with our equipment?"
Scientist 4: "It wasn't meant to do this in the first place."

Gordon reaches the entrance to the test chamber, where two scientists 
are waiting for him. 

Scientist 6: "I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from standard 
analysis procedures today, Gordon."
Scientist 7: "Yes, but with good reason. This is a rare opportunity for 
us. This is the purest sample we've seen yet."
Scientist 6: "And, potentially, the most unstable."
Scientist 7: "Now, now, if you follow standard insertion procedure, 
everything will be fine."
Scientist 6: "I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit 
that the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely 
unlikely."
Scientist 7: "Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly 
trained professional. We've assured the administrator that nothing will 
go wrong."
Scientist 6: "Ah...yes, you're right. Gordon, we have complete 
confidence in you."
Scientist 7: "Well, go ahead. Let's let him in now."

The two scientists use retinal scanners to unlock the door, and Gordon 
enters the test chamber. Inside, the scientists communicate with Gordon 
over the intercom. 

Intercom 1: (feedback)"Testing, testing. (coughs) Everything seems to 
be in order."
Intercom 2: "All right, Gordon. your suit should keep you comfortable 
through all this. The specimen will be delivered to you in a few 
moments. If you would be so good as to climb up and start the rotors, 
we can bring the anti-mass spectrometer to 80 percent and hold it there 
until the carrier arrives.
Intercom 2: "Gordon, are you not hearing me? Climb up and start the 
rotors, please.
Intercom 2: "Very good. We'll take it from here."
Intercom 1: "Power to stage 1 emitters in 3,2,1. I'm seeing predictable 
phase arrays."
Intercom 1: "Stage 2 emitters activating...now."
Intercom 2: "Gordon, we cannot predict how long the system can operate 
at this level, nor how long the readings will take. Please, work as 
quickly as you can."
Intercom 1: "Overhead capacitors to one oh five percent. Uh, it's 
probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy 
in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining 
sequence."
Intercom 2: "I've just been informed that the sample is ready, Gordon. 
It should be coming up to you any moment now. Look to the delivery 
system for your specimen."

Gordon pushes the cart into the machine. Electricity begins arcing out 
of control all around the machine. 

Intercom 1: "Oh dear!"
Intercom 2: "Gordon, get away from the-"
Intercom 1: "Shutting down-no, attempted shutdown. It's not-it's not, 
it's not shutting down!"

A huge explosion rocks the spectrometer, and the intercom cuts off in a 
scream. Gordon sees several flashes of an alien landscape, then comes 
to in the wreckage of the machine. The next chapter title comes up:

UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES

Scientist 1: "Why didn't they listen? We tried to warn them."
Scientist 2: "I never thought I'd see a resonance cascade, let alone 
create one."
Scientist 1: "Gordon, you're alive! Thank God for that hazard suit. I'm 
afraid to move him and all our phones are out. Please get to the 
surface as soon as you can and let someone know we're stranded down 
here. You'll need me to access the retinal scanners. I'm sure the rest 
of the science team will gladly help you."

Guard: "Gordon! Man, am I glad to see you! What the hell are these 
things? And why are they wearin science team uniforms?"

Announcement system:
"Warning, high energy detonation detected in materials laboratory."
"Warning, unauthorized biological force detected in maintenance area."
"Warning, flooding detected on sublevel B."
"Damage control team to Sector C immediately."
"Biohazard warning in Sector B and C."
"Attention: Sector C science personnel, please report status 
immediately."
"Warning, Sector C elevator failure, do not use."

Gordon finds an elevator that brings him up out of the test lab and 
into the:

OFFICE COMPLEX

Scientist 1: "Ah, Gordon. If I'd known it was you, I'd have let you in. 
Everyone's heading for the surface, but I think they're crazy. If we 
stay put, someone is bound to come rescue us."

Scientist 2: "I'm not so sure I want to go to the surface. What if the 
world finds out what we were doing down here?"

Scientist 3: "I just overheard a secure access transmission. Soldiers 
have arrived, and they're coming to rescue us. 'Course, I have my 
doubts that we'll live long enough to greet them."

Guard 1: "Hey, what the hell are you doin down here? Get topside! I 
hear troops are coming in to save us."

Guard 2: "Don't count on the cavalry finding us down here. Head for the 
surface. Elevators are out of order, but we can still climb."

Scientist 4: (hanging from ladder) "I-I can't hold on much...longer. 
(falls) Yaaaaaah!"

"WE'VE GOT HOSTILES"

Announcement system: "Attention: Black Mesa announcement system now 
under military command."

A security guard heads to the console to open the door, but is ambushed 
by an alien. With the door locked and the glass unbreakable, Gordon can 
only watch. 
Scientist 1: "For God's sake, open the silo doors! They're coming for 
us, it's our only way out! Oh my God, we're doomed!"

Scientist 2: (running toward a Marine)"Rescued at last! Thank God 
you're here!" (The Marine then shoots the scientist.)

Marine: "I killed twelve dumb ass scientists and not one of 'em fought 
back. This sucks."

Scientist 3: "Well, so much for the government. Their idea of 
containment is to kill every one associated with the project. Judging 
by your hazard suit, I'd say you were part of what went wrong. Isn't 
that right? Now look, if anyone can end this catastrophe, it's the 
science team in the Lamba Complex at the opposite end of the base. With 
the transit system out, I couldn't tell you how to get there, but 
there's an old decommissioned rail system somewhere through here beyond 
the silo complex. If you can make it through the rocket test labs, you 
might be able to worm your way through the old tunnels to track down 
whatever's left of the Lambda team. You can trust them. You can trust 
all of us."

BLAST PIT

Loud banging noises are heard on the walls. Gordon comes across a 
scientist bleeding to death against the wall. 
Dying Scientist: "Fire the... rocket engine. Destroy the damn thing 
before it grows any larger!"

Entering the rocket engine control room, Gordon sees a gigantic 
serpent-like alien break through the glass and grab a scientist in its 
jaws.
Scientist (being eaten): "No! No, no! Get it off me! Get it off, get it 
off! Aaaaaah!"

Guard 1: "Be quiet. This thing hears us."

Guard 2: "Hey, hey! Over here! Eat lead, you outer space octopus!"
The guard fires at the three-headed alien but is quickly killed by it.

Gordon sneaks by the alien, activates the fan and the oxygen and fuel 
pumps on the second level, then heads down to activate the power 
generator. 
Scientist: "I hope no one expects me to go start up the generator. 
Smithers went down there and never came back."

Gordon climbs up to the top of the generator where he finds a 
scientist.
Smithers: "This is my hiding spot, and I'm not moving until the 
situation is drastically improved. Now go away, and don't tell anyone 
I'm here!"
Gordon activates the generator, causing electricity to spark all over 
the room. 
Smithers: "Ah! Oh dear!"

Scientist: "Excellent! Someone has restored all power. We'll have the 
engine up again in no time."
Gordon fires the rocket engine, destroying the alien beneath it. 
Underneath the alien is an access shaft that eventually leads to the 
old rail system.

POWER UP

Several marines are firing at a giant hulking alien to no avail. 
Freeman moves past it and makes it up to the track control room. Inside 
is a wounded guard. 
Guard: "Mister, you can get the power on, that train'll take us 
straight to the surface. I would try it myself, but it's a long way 
down to the generator room, and there are... things in the way."
Gordon goes down to the generator room, taking out a good number of 
Marines along the way. After activating the power, he heads back to the 
control room. 
Guard: "I'm never gonna make it. You better go on without me."
To take care of the giant alien, Gordon lures it between two large 
conducting towers. Activating the power, the alien is electrified and 
explodes. Gordon then gets on the train to take him toward the Lambda 
complex.

ON A RAIL

Guard: "Freeman, I've been waiting for you. One of your scientist pals 
said to give you a message. You're supposed to take this old rail 
system up to some kind of satelite delivery rocket. I don't know where 
it is exactly, and the old guy was so worried about gettin outta here 
alive he didn't tell me. Main thing is, the military aborted the 
launch. So, when you do find the rocket, you'll have to get up to the 
control and launch it yourself. He said somethin about a Lambda team 
needing the satelite in orbit if they were ever gonna clean up this 
mess."

Freeman makes his way through the rail system, fighting both aliens and 
Marines. 
Beside one of the bunkers is a message written on the wall: SURRENDER 
FREEMEN
He makes it to the rocket launch area and overhears a conversation 
between two Marines.

Marine 1: "So, who is this guy, Freeman?"
Marine 2: "They say he was at ground zero."
Marine 1: "Science team... You think he was responsible? Sabotage, 
maybe?"
Marine 2: "Yeah, maybe. All I know for sure is he's been killing my 
buddies."
Marine 1: "Oh yeah, he'll pay. He will definitely pay."

Inside the launch control room, Freeman overhears a conscientious 
Marine complaining.
Marine 3: "I didn't sign on for this shit. Monsters, sure, but 
civilians? Who ordered this operation anyway?"

Gordon dispatches the Marines, and launches the rocket to deliver the 
satelite.

APPREHENSION

Scientist 1: "Did you see it? They said it was hauled from the 
Challenger deep, but I'm positive that beast never swam in terrestrial 
waters until a week ago. There's a tranquilizer gun in the shark cage, 
but I'm not sure it would work on this species. You're welcome to try."

Scientist 2: "Gordon Freeman, it is you, isn't it? The science team has 
been tracking your progress with the Black Mesa security system. 
Unfortunately, so is the military. That suit of yours is full of 
tracking devices. Still, it's better than going naked in this place. 
It's cold in there. You'll have to hurry. It could sap your suit power 
in a matter of moments. If you're bent on reaching the Lambda complex, 
then you'll want to keep to the older industrial areas where the 
security system is full of holes. It's worked for me, so far."

Guard: "Freeman, right? I've got a message for you. Make sure you 
don't--augh!" 

Freeman opens the surface access door, and heads out. Suddenly, the 
screen goes dark and sounds of a struggle are heard for a few seconds. 

Marine 1: "Get him!"
Marine 1: "Hahaha... nice hit. Uh, all right, we got 'im."

Marine 2: "Where are we takin this Freeman guy?"
Marine 1: "Topside for questioning."
Marine 2: "What the hell for? We got 'im. Let's kill him now."
Marine 1: "Uh... and if they find the body?"
Marine 2: "Body? What body?"

Both laugh.Gordon wakes up in a trash compactor. 

RESIDUE PROCESSING
Gordon makes his way through heavy industrial equipment. No dialogue in 
this section.

QUESTIONABLE ETHICS

Guard 1: "Hey, it's no good up there, it's all sealed off. The only way 
out, would be to find someone with scanner access who can open the 
front door. I'm pretty sure there's a few scientists hidin somewhere in 
the labs. Maybe with both of lookin, we can track them down, and get 
'em to let us out. 

Guard 2: "What is this thing? Is it some kinda weapon?"
Scientist 1: "Put that down, it's a prototype..."
Guard 2: "Man, why aren't we usin it?"
Scientist 1: "It's much too unpredictable. Don't let it overcharge!"
Guard 2: "W-what do you mean overchar-" KABOOM

Scientist 2: "A scientist! Thank God! Get us out of here before those 
military drones figure out where we're hiding."
Scientist 3: "We all have retinal scanner access. Escort us to the 
lobby, and we can get out of the lab." 
Scientist 4: "You'll have to shut down the surgical unit first. Peters 
switched it on but I'm afraid he never made it back." 

Scientist: "Well, I'll let you out, but I'm warning you, it's hell out 
there. It's completely under military control. You'll have to sneak and 
fight your way from one end to the other. I don't expect you'll meet 
many of our peers along the way. But, if you do survive and somehow 
make it across the base, you'll end up at the Lambda complex, where the 
rest of the science team has taken shelter. I wouldn't venture there 
myself, but I will let them know that you are coming."

SURFACE TENSION

Dying Guard: "Help me. Help me. Somebody please help me, I'm dyin out 
here. Please... help... me."

Scientist: "You're heading for the Lambda complex, aren't you? I was 
heading there myself until I wound up here, and, well, simply lost my 
nerve. Take one look through that door and you'll see what I mean. I'm 
going to wait out the catastrophe in here. If you intend to go on, then 
I beg of you: proceed with extreme caution."

Radio: "Come in! Cooper, do you copy? Forget about Freeman. We're 
abandoning the base. If you have any last bomb targets, mark them on 
the technical map. Otherwise, get the hell out of there. Repeat: we are 
pulling out and commencing airstrikes. Give us targets or get below."

"FORGET ABOUT FREEMAN!"

Radio: "Forget about Freeman! We are cutting our losses and pulling 
out! Anyone left down there now is on his own! Repeat: if you are not 
already, you are-"

LAMBDA CORE

Scientist: "I apologize, Mr Freeman, but I couldn't risk opening that 
door until I was sure you'd scoured the area. This is the last entrance 
to the Lambda complex. Every other has been sealed off to contain the 
invasion. When we realized that you might actually make it here, we 
drew straws to see who should stay behind to let you through. 
Obviously, I drew the short one. My colleagues are waiting at the tip 
of the Lambda reactor. Waiting for you, I mean. The reactor is shut 
down right now, but you can activate it on your way up. You'll have to 
flood the core anyway to get into the teleportation labs. You're not 
authorized to know about those, but I can see you already know a great 
deal more than any one man is supposed to."

Scientist 2: "Were you in weapons research too? I built the gluon gun, 
but I just can't bring myself to use it on another living creature. You 
don't look as if you have any trouble killing things."

Scientist 3: "Freeman, isn't it? You'll need to activate both pumps to 
flood the reactor, and then that access pipe down there will take you 
on to the core. Time is short."
Scientist 3: "Don't linger, Mr. Freeman. You've turned on the pumps. 
Take the access pipe, flood the core and get on up to the labs without 
delay."

Scientist 4: "Gordon Freeman, you've finally found us."
Guard: "So this is the guy. We thought you'd never make it."
Scientist 4: "This is the supply depot for our first survey team. Quite 
a few handsome specimens were collected from the borderworld and 
brought back this way. Uh... before the survey members started being 
collected themselves, that is. We suspect there is an immense portal 
over there, created by the intense concentration of a single powerful 
being. You will know it when you see it. I hate to say this Gordon, but 
you must kill it."
Guard: "Yeah, you'd better kill it."
Scientist 4: "Of course, you owe us nothing, Mr. Freeman. But you've 
come this far. You know as much about these creatures as anyone."
Guard: "Enough to know that if you don't wipe it out, there won't be 
much for you to come home to."
Scientist 4: "Yes, so if you're willing, my colleague is waiting for 
you at the main portal controls. He will open the gates for you, Mr. 
Freeman. Do hurry."
Guard: "Don't forget to gear up, and I'll cover you while you're 
waiting for that portal to warm up." 
Scientist 4: "This, Mr. Freeman, is a long jump module, created 
expressly for navigation in the world beyond. I certainly hope you 
received long jump training because once you're in Xen, you will need 
it. I would advise you to practice before crossing over."
HEV: "Power assist movement activated."

Scientist 5: "Hello, Freeman. I'm up here. Practice your long jump if 
you must, but hurry up."
Scientist 5: "All right, I can open the portal now. The process is 
complicated, and once it is begun I must not be interrupted or I'll 
have to start all over again. Don't enter the beam until I give the OK. 
Understood? I will begin."
Scientist 5: "Almost there, Freeman. Get yourself in position."
Scientist 5: "Not yet, Freeman."
Scientist 5: "It's ready! You must go, now!"

Freeman jumps into the beam.

XEN 
Freeman finds himself floating on one of several platforms. He uses the 
long jump module to enter the middle of the largest floating platform. 
He also spies a corpse wearing an HEV suit. In the middle of the 
platform, he activates a portal. 
No dialogue.

GONARCH'S LAIR
Gordon finds himself face to face with a gigantic spider type alien. He 
eventually manages to defeat it and find another portal. 
No dialogue.

INTERLOPER
Freeman moves through what appears to be an industrial complex 
populated with aliens. At the very top of the complex is another 
portal. Jumping in, he finds himself on top of more floating rocks with 
a bright red portal ahead of him.
No dialogue.

NIHILANTH
Nihilanth: Frrrreeeeemmmmaaaaannnnn........
A huge freakish humanoid creature floats over Freeman. Using the 
various weapons at his disposal, Freeman takes out the crystals above 
the creature, shoots its head open, and destroys its brain. Everything 
goes dark for a moment, then Gordon wakes up face to face with a man in 
a suit and tie carrying a briefcase. All his weapons are gone.

G-man: "Gordon Freeman, in the flesh. Or rather, in the hazard suit. I 
took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were 
government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The 
borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being, thanks to you. 
Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there. I am impressed. 

"That's why I'm here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to 
my eh-eh-eh-eh-employers and they have authorized me to offer you a 
job. They agree with me that you have limitlesssss potential.

The scene shifts to a train very similar to the Black Mesa train that 
Gordon came to work in.
"You've proved yourself a decisive man, so I don't expect you'll have 
any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into 
the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, hm, well, I can 
offer you a battle you have no chance of winning. Rather an anticlimax 
after what you've just survived. Time to choose."

At this point, Gordon can either step through the door or not, 
resulting in two different endings. 

Ending 1, or "Gordon's an idiot"

G-man: "Well, it looks like we won't be working together. No regrets, 
Mr. Freeman."

SUBJECT: FREEMAN
STATUS: OBSERVATION TERMINATED
POST MORTEM:
Subject declined offer of employment.
Half-Life
<credits>

Ending 2, or "Do I get Dental?"

G-man: "Wisely done, Mr. Freeman. I will see you up ahead."

SUBJECT: FREEMAN
STATUS: HIRED
AWAITING ASSIGNMENT
Half-Life
<credits>


-Scientist babble

If you stick around the scientists long enough in the beginning of the 
game, they will begin conversing among themselves. This usually 
consists of a random question or statement coupled with a random 
response. If you listen long enough, you'll see that the accident 
shouldn't have been quite so unexpected. They've got missing tests, 
uncleaned equipment, and someone's eaten all the donuts!

These are all the questions/statements I know of:

Wouldn't it be fantastic to get some pure readings for a change?
Is anyone else getting hungry?
I hope those continued parameters are still nominal.
Don't you think we should calculate those resonance dampening factors 
again?
I am rather looking forward to this analysis, aren't you?
You have no idea what is going on, do you?
Have you seen my coffee cup?
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yes, this all looks nominal.
Aren't you a bit worried about that exponential cascade scenario we 
talked about?
Have you been able to get the beverage machine to work yet?
Do you know who ate all the donuts?
You aren't going soft on that ethics issue again, are you?
Someone's hidden my glasses again. 
I must remember to report that fluctuation. 
That's odd.
Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?
This is all within theoretical limits.
Are you running those tunneling rattis (not sure on that one) 
calculations again?
All displacement modulators were tuned today, weren't they?

And here are all the responses I could find:

You know, you repeat yourself sometimes.
I'm not at all sure.
Shut up.
Don't be ridiculous. 
Nnnnooooo.
Yeeeesssss.
It's inconclusive.
I really don't know.
Positively.
I'm sure of it.
I don't think so.
Stop asking that question.
Theoretically.
You are completely wrong.
Didn't you just ask me that?
Who can say?
Right.
Kindly lower your voice.