"How to make a mediocre adventure game"

Midnight Nowhere is a game you've probably never heard about. It's a Russian adventure ''survival-horror'' game (I put ''survival-horror'' in quotes because there isn't much horror for you to survive from) I remember a couple of years ago reading a review about this in a games magazine. Being an adventure gamer myself, and considering you'd never get fresh material at the time, I thought it'd be a good idea to check it out. And man was I disappointed!

Story:
The beginning looks promising: you wake up in a body bag inside a morgue. You don't remember who you are, where you are how you got here. And how does this awesome plot follows from here? Well... it just doesn't. Most of the plot will just burst out at your face by the ending of the game, but it's so confusing and sudden that you won't understand or even care. During the game, your concern will probably be about some serial killer called ''The Executioner'' that has killed pretty much half of the population of the fictional futuristic Russian city of Black Lake (that's the city where you are). But get this: You'll never really meet him, know what his motivations are, figure out how he killed all that people, nothing. That's what confused me the most on the ending. You never find out anything whatsoever about The Executioner. Only after you finish the game you'll realise that he only existed to leave several dead bodies on your way. Throughout the game, you'll find several notes around the buildings. And they're just pointless. Believe me, you don't care about what they say.
Score: 2/10

Gameplay:
Well, being an adventure game, it has the good old point 'n' click feature, which is a plus, considering that 3D adventure games played on the keyboard can really wear you out. Putting the good part aside, let's talk about the bad side. What really annoys me is how all the puzzles on this game are based on getting doors open. Every single puzzle is either for you to get a key, a keycard, a passcode, or the secret knock so the hobo on the other side opens it up for you. It just doesn't make any sense the huge variety of locks around the doors and why the hell can't I just break them open with my axe? That's the only purpose it has! Oh, and don't try to shoot the doors open. Only one of the doors can take bullets as a key. The puzzles themselves also don't make any sense, and that's saying a lot for an adventure game. There's one particular part in which you have to use a magnet on a calendar to get a key that's behind it. The only problem is that, as far as I know, there's no way you could figure that out! There's no hint, no message saying where it's hidden, no lump for you to feel, no nothing. It's the kind of thing you'll only figure out by that point of the game in which you have to rub every single item you have on every single thing on the room. And don't even get me started on the part in which you actually have to fish several playing cards inside a faucet! Another annoying thing is how bad the hit detection is. You'll miss important items so easily it'll make you travel back and forth looking for whatever you have missed. There's a certain part in which you have to search through a nurse's body to find a condom. You'll have to click on her over and over until you find the damn condom. And the worst part is having to listen to the protagonist's demented necrophilia jokes every time you fail. Speaking of which, that's another thing that ruins the game. I mean, sure, you can't die, but all the darkness and the corpses lying around send a chill down your spine... until this guy opens his mouth and ruins the mood by telling jokes that only make sense in Russian!
Score: 3/10

Graphics:
Well, I can't complain about this one. The 3D graphics are pretty decent and have a strong effect. The way some rooms are destroyed and some bodies are lying around can be very disturbing and creepy. I dare you to look through the glass door at the Hospital, next to the elevator and not piss in your pants! Also, you'll find some pretty gory scenes, filled with blood and sometimes guts of something you don't really know what is. That's a plus for me!
Score: 8/10

Music and sound:
The music on this game is so-so. It's not bad, but could've been better. It does have some climax, but not enough to keep you on the edge of the seat. On the plus side, almost every room has a different music, which is a very good thing for some variety throughout the game. My only real complaint about the music is that the Employees Restroom's music nearly burst my ears. It's the only one that's really bad and makes me want to leave the room right away. I don't have much to talk about sound effects, considering that the most you'll get are your footsteps. As for the voice acting... it's bad. Really bad. It seems like the voice actors really didn't have any desire to put their voices on this game. They just don't show any emotions. It's as if they were robots.
Score: 4/10

Play Time/Replayability:
I'd say that it has the same play time of most usual adventure games. It's divided on two CDs, but it's not really that long. HOWEVER, if you consider all the ridiculous puzzles and the horrible hit detection, this game can painfuly drag for several hours of walking back and forth trying to figure out what the hell you're supposed to do.
As for the replayability, it is pretty much the same you'd expect from any regular adventure game. Sometimes you'll be sitting around and just think ''Hmmm... I feel like playing that game about opening doors''. Of course, that doesn't really happen that often.
Score: 4/10

Final Recommendation:
I just can't recommend this game. The puzzles sometimes are just too crazy and by the end of the game you'll feel like this whole thing you've been doing just to get doors open was entire pointless. Then again, if you're desperate for an adventure game or are just dying to see a bit of gore, you might as well take a quick look. Just don't look at it too hard.
Final Score: 4/10

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 11/11/09, Updated 02/16/10

Game Release: Midnight Nowhere (US, 03/29/04)