____         __  _
                         / __/_ _ ___ / /_(_)__  ___
                        / _//  ' Y _ Y __/ / _ \/ _ \
                       /___/_/_/_|___|__/_/\___/_//_/
                               / _ \( _ )  |_  /
                               \_, / _  | _/_ <
                              /___/\___(_)____/ __
                             / __/_______(_)__ / /_
                            _\ \/ __/ __/ / _ Y __/
                           /___/\__/_/ /_/ .__|__/
                                        /_/

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author-Eifersucht86
E-mail-Tilrammstein2005@herzeleid.net
Version-Final
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Table of Contents
1.Introduction
2.Version History
3.Legal Info
4.Script
   A.Opening
   B.Foreigner-I've Been Waiting(For a Girl Like You)
   C.Petstuffers(Commercial)
   D.Complete the Look(Commercial)
   E.Fernando Speaks
   F.Kate Bush-Wow
   G.Fernando Speaks
   H.Farewell Ranch(Commercial)
   I.Squeeze-Tempted
   J.Fernando Speaks
   K.REO Speedwagon-Keep on Loving You
   L.Fernando Speaks
   M.Cutting Crew-(I Just)Died in Your Arms Tonight
   N.Fernando Tells a Story
   O.Roxy Music-More Than This
   P.Fernando Continues His Story
   Q.Pastor Richards Salvation Fund
   R.Pit Bomb
   S.Toto-Africa
   T.Mister Mister-Broken Wings
   U.John Waite-Missing You
   V.Fernando Speaks
   W.Shady Acres(Commercial)
   X.Jan Hammer-Crockett's Theme
   Y.Musty Pines(Commerical)
   Z.Night Ranger-Sister Christian
   AA.Domesto-bot(Commercial)
   BB.Fernando's Medallion Man(Commercial)
   CC.Luther Vandross-Never Too Much
   DD.Thor's Norse Power Program(Commercial)
   EE.BJ Smith's Fit For Football(Commercial)
5.Contact
6.Credits
--------------------------------------
NOTE!!! I do have some trouble understanding Fernando at times.  So if you
see a mistake please e-mail it to me you will be given credit.  Also I am not
that good with Spanish.  I took the class but I didn't pass it.  Please E-mail
me about any of those errors too.  Thanks.
--------------------------------------

--------------------------------------
1.Introduction
--------------------------------------
Hello my name is Alex, I am 16 years old and this is my second guide on
GameFAQS.  My first which is not yet complete is the commericals script.
I got Vice City on the first Saturday it was out.  Since then I have been
hooked on it.  So I decided to write this guide because Emotion is one of
my favorite stations.

The following two lines should be even

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
12345678901234567890123456

If the lines are not even change your font to "Courier New[Western]" and
that should fix your problem.

--------------------------------------
2.Version History
--------------------------------------
Final-This is the final update for this guide.  I would like to thank you
all for checking this out.  I am writing a new guide which should be posted
soon.  Thanks again for viewing.

3.0-Fixed some final errors in the script.  I am going to make this final
in a couple of days so send all of the mistakes you find A.S.A.P!

2.0-I finished the script and the section "The Man Behind Fernando" will
be completed in the next update.

1.1-I am about finished with the script!  I will be done with it on the
next update.

1.0-I have just submitted this guide so there isn't that much to it yet.
Keep checking back for more updates.

--------------------------------------
3.Legal Info
--------------------------------------
Right now this guide may on be posted on Gamefaqs.com and no other sites.
If you would like to use this guide on your site please contact
me at the e-mail or AIM address in the contact section.  As for
other things, you may print as many guides as you want for your-
self or friends.  You may not print this in any magazine or sell
it.
This guide is a © 2002-2003 by Eifersucht86.
Grand Theft Auto, and Vice City are all © of Rockstar games
and Rockstar north.

--------------------------------------
4.Script
--------------------------------------

--------------------------------------
A.Opening
--------------------------------------
Female: More moods wings than your pregnant wife, Emotion 98.3

Fernando: Hello, I am Fernando Martinez and this is Emotion.  When I first come
   to Vice City I feel all lonely, a man on the outside, a foreigner, then I say
   Fernando, you like to talk a lot so I get a well paid job on the radio and
   begin to make my name as a successfull DJ.  Now I'm not so lonely, but I never
   forget my roots, I never forget, so I always have a soft spot for Foreigner,
   I've been waiting is next.

--------------------------------------
B.Foreigner-I've Been Waiting(For a Girl Like You)
--------------------------------------

So long, i've been looking too hard, i've been waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone, when you love someone
It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too

Maybe i'm wrong, won't you tell me if i'm coming on too strong
This heart of mine has been hurt before, this time I wanna be sure

I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life

You're so good, when we make love it's understood
It's more than a touch or a word can say
Only in dreams could it be this way
When you love someone, yeah, really love someone

Now I know it's right, from the moment I wake up till deep in the night
There's nowhere on earth that i'd rather be than holding you tenderly

I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive
I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life

I've been waiting, waiting for you, ooh, i've been waiting
I've been waiting
(I've been waiting for a girl like you, i've been waiting)
Won't you come into my life?

Female: 98.3 the Emotion, We give you emotion 24/7, not just once a month.

--------------------------------------
C.Petstuffers (Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male:Oh Max, We go everywhere together, right boy?

Female: At Petstuffers we know there's nothing more then a relationship between man and
  his dog, sometimes you just can't let go.

Male: Max you didn't eat your food that's the second week in a row, Max.

Female: When the unspeakable happens just put your four legged friend in the fridge or
   freezer, then call Petstuffers.  We'll be there within a week to pick him up, and in
   less than a month he'll be back good as new.  Through and ancient Egyptian miracle
   process called Taxidermy, you and your best friend will always be together.

Male: Yea, that's a good dog.

Female: Petstuffers when you just can't let go, and coming soon Grandparents forever.

--------------------------------------
D.Complete the Look (Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male: Highlighted hair, faint brain-dead look in your eyes, something missing?(Complete the look)
   Complete the look with men's eyeliner at Vice City's one stop shop for people who are cool when
   they cry.

Female: Wow, you look ambiguous.

Male: Complete the look.

--------------------------------------
E.Fernando Speaks
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Lets keep on breaking hearts and piring lines listen to me and more of this.  Your on
   Emotion

--------------------------------------
F.Kate Bush-Wow
--------------------------------------

We're all alone on the stage tonight.
We've been told we're not afraid of you.
We know all our lines so well, uh-huh.
We've said them so many times:
Time and time again,
Line and line again.

Ooh, yeah, you're amazing!
We think you're incredible.
You say we're fantastic,
But still we don't head the bill.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!

When the actor reaches his death,
You know it's not for real. He just holds his breath.
But he always dives too soon, too fast to save himself.

He'll never make the screen.
He'll never make the 'Sweeney',
Be that movie queen.
He's too busy hitting the vaseline.

Ooh, yeah, you're amazing!
We think you are really cool.
We'd give you a part, my love,
But you'd have to play the fool.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Unbelievable!

We're all alone on the stage tonight.
We're all alone,
On the stage,
Tonight.

--------------------------------------
G.Fernando Speaks
--------------------------------------

Fernando: I was losing myself in the music there for a moment, forgive me,
   It just hits me so hard sometimes like a massive bit or masionary flying
   from a high building, or something, or a truck driving over your foot ya
   know?  Powerful like a dream you go to work naked.  Lets take a break
   while I recompose myself.  Remember too much emotion is always a good thing.

--------------------------------------
H.Farewell Ranch(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male: Howdy partners! It's 4:30 in the morning here at Farewell ranch. And it's
   time to get up and work the old cow. get up ya oaf! At Farewell Ranch, old
   people don't sit around stagnating watching game shows and talking about the good
   old days. Sinking into the grave with a urine soaked mess. At Farewell Ranch
   they sweat and toil until the breaking point. Keep that miserable contemplation
   of mortality at bay. Hell, at steering time, we'll work grandpa so hard he'll
   wish he was dead. At the end of the day he'll sit down in the blue grass eat a
   bowl of commemorative beans and enjoy a sing along at one of our nightly funerals.
   It's the cowboy’s code. Work hard, don't shower and die in your boots. Right Norm?

Norm: Ahh, my prostate!

Male: Farewell Ranch, the only way to ride into the sunset.

--------------------------------------
I.Squeeze-Tempted
--------------------------------------

Female: We express emotion because you can't(Emotion 98.3)


I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face
Pajamas, a hairbrush, new shoes and a case.
I said to my reflection, Let's get out of this place.
Passed the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill
Billboards and the buildings
Memories of it still keep calling
And calling
But forget it all I know I will
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone
There's no other
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
I'm at the carpark, the airport, the baggage carousel
The people keep on grabbing, ain't wishing I was well
I said, "It's no occasion. It's no story I can tell."
At my bedside, empty pocket, a foot without a sock
Your body gets much closer
I fumble for the clock, alarmed by
The seduction
I wish that it would stop
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone there's no other
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
I bought a novell, some perfume, a fortune all for you
But it's not my conscience that hates to be untrue.
I asked of my reflection,
Tell me what is there to do?
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
Now that you have gone there's no other
Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted but the truth is discovered

--------------------------------------
J.Fernando Speaks
--------------------------------------

Fernando: I think that song says so much about the Human heart don't you?  Or as my people
   say Cor Ason.  My people make the womans and the cars bounce up and down.  You see love
   important but so is the action,  a real man needs more than one thing in life,  do you
   know what I'm saying here?  The heart and the loins both on fire.  Groaning and straining
   and making hot dirty passionate encounters with the secretaries, while the wife she sleeps
   at home.  I know I have been there many times, your on Emotion, where the heart remains
   true.

--------------------------------------
K.REO Speedwagon-Keep on Loving You
--------------------------------------

You shoud've seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was somethin missin
You shoud've known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn't listen
You played dead
But you never bled
Instead you lay still in the grass
All coiled up and hissin

And though I know all about those men
Still I don't remember
Cause it was us baby, way before then
And we're still together
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever

And I'm gonna keep on lovin you
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do
I don't wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on lovin you

And I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever

--------------------------------------
L.Fernando Speaks
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Oh, magnificent I play a song for you, tonight you come to Fernando's night appearance
   at the club.  Fernando play some emotional music, maybe you'll meet a pretty lady who isn't
   interested in your long term relationship.  But is only in interested in the passion of life.
   Maybe even right outside in the parking lot.

Male: (Weeping) Emotion

--------------------------------------
M.Cutting Crew-(I Just)Died in Your Arms Tonight
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Next up we have a beautiful record for you to get in touch with yourself, Cutting Crew
   I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight.  Must have been something you said huh?

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

(98.3 the Emotion)

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary, it sits by the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle
Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this

Oh-oh-oh woh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh-oh-oh woh, oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kinda kiss
I should have walked away, I should have walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet but then blow it again
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

Oh-oh-oh woh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Woh-oh-oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kinda kiss
I should have walked away, I should have walked away

It was a long hot night
But she made it easy, she made it feel right
But now it's over, the moment has gone
I followed my hands not my head, I know I was wrong

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight(Fernando Singing Along)
It must have been some kinda kiss(Fernando Singing Along)
I should have walked away, I should have walked away

--------------------------------------
N.Fernando Tells a Story
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Let me tell you a story, the other night I was in a nightclub, as usual I Fernando
   was surrounded by beautiful women, I could have made love to any number of them, then
   this really ugly girl come in.  All fat, hairy and ugly and stuff.  Like a big fat cow, all
   walking on 2 legs ya know?  But she had the most beautiful eyes I ever saw, it was like opening
   a big dirty crabby shell and finding a beautiful pearl.  Than this record come on.  It was very
   appropriate, I talk to long Fernando's rating go down, I finish my story luego.

--------------------------------------
O.Roxy Music-More Than This
--------------------------------------

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they?re blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell me one thing
More than this - there is nothing
It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like dream in the night
Who can say where we?re going
No care in the world
Maybe I?m learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell me one thing
More than this - there is nothing

--------------------------------------
P.Fernando Continues His Story
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Everytime, that track breaks my heart anew(Long Pause, Song Continues),
   so anyway as I was saying this ugly girl in the nightclub you know?  Now of
   course I Fernando Martinez did not come home with this chick, as I have
   a reputation to keep up, a code, but I could see she was all lonely and stuff,
   and I feel really bad so I scour the nightclub, from top to bottom and then I find this snuddy little
   English kid Paul or something, standing all alone so I take him over to this ugly girl, I make them
   think,  I make them talk, I tell them some jokes and soon they are singing, and they are dancing.
   And I say Fernando you have a gift my friend, a gift for romance.  I like to see mens' and womans' to
   get together.  People say Fernando use your gift make money or buy a yacht, maybe a fast car, and I say
   Fernando is on the radio that is my gift to Vice City!

Female: Emotion

Fernando: We just going to take a quick break, listen to some commercials and stuff, don't go away you'll
   break Fernando's heart.

--------------------------------------
Q.Pastor Richards Salvation Fund
--------------------------------------

Pastor Richards: Do yourself a favor, take both hands off the wheel and touch the stereo, do you
   feel the power? Ah yes friend, there's a lot of evil in this world, but there's also light.
   And I have been sent to shine a light on all degenerates, philanerderers, Liberals and other evil doers
   and expose them for what they really are. Don't waste your money on unnessacery and corrupting
   material possessions, give it to me. There's only one thing that will save you. A highly fortified
   structure in the shape of the most powerful thing on the planet, me. Degenerates will ruin this
   great city. In my wonderful book I tell of the impending disaster about to befall this planet,
   nuclear holocaust, plagues of flying rodents, the seas rising up and turning yellow. It is coming,
   it is written by me but you can save yourself. Contribute to the Pastor Richards Salvation Statue
   Fund, pick up your telephone call now, 1-866-9SAVEME

Female: The Emotion

--------------------------------------
R.Pit Bomb
--------------------------------------

Male: The science of evolution has uncovered many of life’s mysteries like
   tadpoles or the pyramids. But the mystery of the armpit remains.
   What's it for? Why is it hairy? And why do men have nipples? But one
   thing's for certain, the armpit smells bad. Luckily there's Pit Bomb.
   It's like Napalm for your skin or Agent Orange on your sweat glands.
   Pit Bomb stops unwanted bodily functions in their tracks. It’s as
   effective as sending GIs into a peasant village. When you're fighting
   the war against personal hygiene, bring out the heavy artillery.

--------------------------------------
S.Toto-Africa
--------------------------------------
Female: Whatever crusing means to you, here's music to cruise to, Emotion.

Fernando: Wasn't that beautiful?  Like a georgeous woman bending over to pick something up you know?
   Or a fat girl who suddenly loses a lot of weight.  I yi yi.

(Song Starts)Fernando: Vice City is a beautiful town, no?  A real special place filled with hopes and
   dreams and beautiful and hot women, and men like me.  Well not many men like me.  But it is a jungle
   out there a bit like Africa.  You can go out on a safari in Vice City and get a Rhino if you like.  I
   love all woman, even the fat ones, though I don't tell anybody about that.  The next record's all about
   Africa.  Toto take it away. I love you.

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say , "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

Chorus:
It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I miss the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

Chorus: It's gonna take...

Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

Chorus: It's gonna take

--------------------------------------
T.Mister Mister-Broken Wings
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Welcome back you're on Emotion, Con Amigo Fernando Martinez. (Song Continues)  Stay with me stay
   with Fernando. Por Favor, Mi amor, sialito, It's like Fernando say to his ex-wife.  I love you please
   don't leave.  It is not what you think, I was bitten by a snake and the nice lady, she came to suck out
   the poison.  The story you see no work very well.

Female: The station for laughter and sorrow, heartbreak, and tears and those post therapy session blues.
   Emotion 98.3

Fernando: Marvelous, I love that record.  It grabs me by the crotch and shakes me around until I am not sure
   if I am a man or a woman.  Then I remember I am Fernando Martinez, Mister Fernando Martinez, and this is
   Mister Mister with Broken Wings.

Baby, don't understand
Why we can't just hold on to each other's hands
This time might be the last I fear
Unless I make it all too clear
I need you so (oh)
Take these Broken Wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these Broken Wings

Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right (mmm)
Baby, it's all I know
That you're half of the flesh and blood makes me whole
I need you so

So take these Broken Wings
And learn to fly again
Learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in (ya ya, let us in, let us in)

Baby, that's all I know
That's you're half of the flesh and blood makes me whole (ya ya ya ya, ya ya)

So take these Broken Wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these Broken Wings
You got to learn to fly
Learn to live love so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in (ya ya, ooh)

--------------------------------------
U.John Waite-Missing You
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Interesting stuff, but not as interesting as what happens when a man and woman fall passionately
   in love, or maybe when things go wrong you will need a man like Fernando, to sort things out, to make
   things whole and better again.  When your throwing household dishes at each other.  When she pulls out
   the knife, when the heart and the crotch are not in alignment, you know?

Female:Your prescription for unwanted emotion.(Female Crying) (Emotion)

Everytime I think of you, I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away
And I'm wonderin' why you left
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles, and it always makes me smile
I spend my time thinkin' about you, and it's almost driving me wild
And there's a heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what I might say

There's a message in the wire, and I'm sending you this signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning, though I'm trying hard to understand
And it's my heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight

Chorus:
I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away
I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out, like a telegraph to your soul
And if I can't bridge this distance, stop this heartbreak overload

(chorus)

I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself

And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight

(chorus)

Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself
Ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you
I ain't missing you, I ain't missing you, ain't missing you, oh no
No matter what my friends might say, I ain't missing you...

--------------------------------------
V.Fernando Speaks
--------------------------------------

Fernando: This is Emotion breaking hearts and saving lives every hour of everyday.  You
   see I'm your doctor of love, Fernando Martinez except I do not go to medical school.
   Fernando knows many languages but I mostly know the language of love.  Some people call
   the radio station and say "Fernando are you bilingual?"  I said I try anything once.
   Hope you are having a powerful day!  Filled with love and passion and hot dirty action.
   You know? Lets take a break.  Don't go away please.  I'm begging you.

Male: (Crying)Emotion

--------------------------------------
W.Shady Acres(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male: I'm a VIP! And I wanna live around people like myself, rich and divorced.(Shady Acres)

Avery: I'm Avery Carrington, Shady Acres is incredible upscale, state of the  art, top notch
   condominium development (Condo) A short drive out of town on some christine wetlands. Away
   from the north and uninvited diversity of the city! (Shady Acres) And when you buy into that
   dream that is Shady Acres, not only do you get a luxuriest 5 thousand square foot condo with
   underground parking for your newly acquired sports car, but there's also a jacuzzi for
   entertainment. (Jacuzzi) Each condo is tastefully furnished with a stock bar and a exotic
   water bed shaped like a dollar sign. Shady Acres also has a golf range, firing range, heli-
   pad and exotic petting zoo when your kids come to visit. (Shady Acres) You're successful!
   Start defining your life style, start defining yourself!

Females: Shady Acres

Avery: Shady Acres, happiness is worth the price! (Shady Acres)

--------------------------------------
X.Jan Hammer-Crockett's Theme
--------------------------------------

(Song Starts)

Female: Emotion

Fernando: Have you noticed how popular synthesizers are getting?  It's not the same as a lonely
   man with a pony tail, singing of his love on a guitar. At the door of his hermes hacienda.
   But it is not far short. See what you think of mister Jan Hammer.

This song is only an instrumental.  Therefore there are no lyrics.

(After song)

Fernando: Oh that was magnificen like a beautiful woman or a group of ugly despite ones.  You know
   the kind anyone can get a hold of.  Even if your a little slow and take special classes.  Your
   listening to Fernando Martinez on Emotion.  You remember it's a good thing to feel the emotion
   but don't have too much emotion you might get an order of protection against you.

Female: 98.3 Emotion

Fernando: Fernando is feeling very emotional right now, so we need to take a break.

--------------------------------------
Y.Musty Pines(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Female: Are you tired of your couches getting ruined?

Male: Oh grandpa.

Grandpa: I made tinkles again!

Male: If you've got old people cluttering up your home. Why not send them to Musty Pines?
   We'll help bring back dignity and we promise it'll be the best three months of their lives.
   They'll enjoy bingo, complaining, mumbling incoherently, skinny-dipping and organ donation.
   And once a month it's our famous lucky dip medication switching night. Musty Pines is located
   at a luxurious location overlooking Vice City's state of the art sanitation facilities. You can
   still visit your old people, but now you have the comfort of knowing you don't have to. After they
   pass on to something better, guaranteed in three months or less, you can start enjoying their money.
   Finally, you can have quality family time again. Musty Pines, now you don't have to say goodbye.
   Drive through service also available.

--------------------------------------
Z.Night Ranger-Sister Christian
--------------------------------------

Fernando: This is Emotion lets keep on with the power, this track will break your heart. It's the power
  of music.(Song Starts)

Fernando: Oh magnificent!

Female: Emotion

Fernando: I touch myself.

Sister Christian, oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one to say, OK
Where you goin', what you looking for
You know those boys don't want to play no more with you
It's true

{Refrain}
You're motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding Mister Right
You'll be all right tonight

Babe, you know you're growing up so fast
And momma's worrying that you won't last to say, let's play
Sister Christian, there's so much in life
Don't you give it up before your time is due
It's true, it's true, yeah

You're motoring
What's your price for flight
You've got him in your sights
And driving through the night

{Refrain twice}

Sister Christian, oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one to say, OK
But you're motoring
Yeah, motoring

Fernado: Really interesting I think, what about you? Do you like that one does it make you tremble
   and quiver and groan and feel alive?  I play the music that makes the people feel touched.  Don't
   go away.
--------------------------------------
AA.Domesto-bot(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male: Ever since Linda started working, our kids are home alone.

Linda: We tried hiring a nanny but she wanted health insurance.

Male: Yeah right, that’s when we got Domesto-bot. He's great with the kids.

Domesto-bot: Mrs Lorris, Tommy has some skin magazines under the bed.

Linda: And he helps us too.

Domesto-bot: Would you like your drink portioned?

Male: He's a great conversation piece at our special parties.

Domesto-bot: Please move your car keys and the fun will begin.

Linda: It's like having a personalized alarm clock.

Domesto-bot: I've brought you a drink.

Male: Ah, it's eight in the morning!

Domesto-bot: I made it a double.

Linda: Ah Domesto-bot.

Male #2: Domesto-bot, he's three foot high, he only says ten phrases, he's the friend you've always
   dreamed of, order Domesto-bot today.

--------------------------------------
BB.Fernando's Medallion Man(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Fernando: Hello, I am Fernando Martinez, I think by now you know I am an emotional kind of guy.
   People stop me in the street and say, Fernando what the hell is wrong with me? Silk-shirt, hairy
   chest, enough aftershave to drown a household pet, but I still cannot get a woman. And I tell them,
   you are an ignorant fool. Without the symbol of power and fertility around your nexk, What kind of
   woman is going to respect you? That's why I've teamed up with Medallion Man, the shop for medallion
   needs. Medallion Man caters to all levels of masculinity, for the strong silent type a medallion the
   size of a hub cap will say everything that needs to be said. Even singing medallions for the Casanova
   who knows music is the food of love. My old drains, thal houses, dipers, whatever your interest,
   we've got the medallion for you. Don't forget, every woman knows, if you can't support a medallion,
   you can't support a family.

--------------------------------------
CC.Luther Vandross-Never Too Much
--------------------------------------

I can't fool myself, I don't want nobody else to ever love me
You are my shinin' star, my guiding light, my love fantasy
There's not a minute, hour, day or night that I don't love you
You're at the top of my list because I'm always thinkin' of you

I still remember in the days when I scared to touch you
How I spent my day dreamin' plannin' how to say I love you
You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in
That's when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in

Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much
I just don't wanna stop

Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
I just don't wanna stop

Too much, never too much, never too much, never too much

Woke up today, looked at your picture just to get me started
I called you up, but you weren't there and I was broken hearted
Hung up the phone, can't be too late, the boss is so demandin'
Opened the door up and to my surprise there you were standin'

Well, who needs to go to work to hustle for another dollar
I'd rather be with you because you make my heart scream and holler
Love is a gamble and I'm so glad that I'm winnin'
We've come a long way and yet this is only the beginnin'

Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
I just don't wanna stop

Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
And I just don't wanna stop

Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
I just don't wanna stop

Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much

--------------------------------------
DD.Thor's Norse Power Program(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

Male: For thousands of years Americans have looked for answer to life's difficult questions. Now,
   millions of people just like you are finding answers and taking charge of there lives.  Through
   the original, patented and proven program of Valhalla's finest deity, Thor.

Thor: Treasure awaits you but beware of your woman folk treatury is deep within her.  By the coming
   of spring she shall be no more.

Female: Thor changed my life.

Male: Author of two bestselling self help books translated from the original runic into 25 languages,
   Thor has helped millions realize their dreams.

Thor: Beware of the trap set by the frost giants, carry your magic hammer.(Crowd Cheers)

Male: Available on record or cassette the personal Norse power program looks to the myths of the
   Vikings for answers.

Female: Can you give my husband an ounce of advice to help keep things hot in the bedroom?

Thor: Take a longboat with 20 of your finest men, head to where the sun sets, there you will find
   a village, pillage thunder and burn all that you find!

Male: And if you order now, you'll receive Thor's subliminal tape series.  So you gain wisdom of the
   Gods while sleeping.

Male #2: Accept the crystal cup at the feast beware of the dwarf.

Male: Thor's personal Norse power program, call now 866-PILLAGE.  That's 866-PILLAGE
--------------------------------------
EE.BJ Smith's Fit For Football(Commercial)
--------------------------------------

BJ Smith: Hi, I'm BJ Smith. In my long and illustrious three year career at the top of pro football.
   I whooped some serious ass and got paid for it. They didn't call me death in tight pants for nothing.
   When you've had such a rewarding career maiming others as I have, you know how to stay fit. Through
   running, wrestling, stuffing 20s down panties of foxy strippers, firearm training, an in days swoop
   and beating the hell out of your fellow man. That's what keeps me healthy. And now, using training
   methods, I perfected. It's going to work for you with BJ's Fit for Football. Watch those pounds fall
   off. I'm down to 300 pounds using exactly the method I demonstrated on tape. I mean, who are you gonna
   trust to get fit? A man who can rip your arm off and beat you in, or an aerobics instructor who wouldn’t
   get drafted by the local hopscotch team? Hell no, BJ's Fit for Football, out now on Beta and VHS.
   Remember to win in a game of football, or life, you have to annihilate everything in your path in a
   blind rage.

--------------------------------------
5.Contact
--------------------------------------

Here is how you may contact me.  You can e-mail me at Tilrammstein2005@herzeleid.net
or Streichholzschachtel16@hotmail.com.  My AIM screen name is Tazz0086 or Tilrammstein2005.
Please feel free to correct me on any mistakes or submit anything I may have missed.

--------------------------------------
6.Credits
--------------------------------------
Thanks to CJayC for posting this and making such a great site.

Thanks to Rockstar for making such a great game.

Thanks to Dennis for pointing out an error.

BIG Thanks to Traci for pointing out many errors.