"Some of the least fun you can have without taking your clothes off."

This game is all about scoring...er not scoring points, rather, the kind of “scoring” that Beavis and Butthead were always so fond of talking about, though you do get points for that. It’s hard to say too much about this game...it’s really not that involved for an adventure game, but it does have some funny moments. Advanced gamers won’t find Larry’s quest too challenging, unless, of course, the old fashioned interface proves to be too much for you...if you can’t type fast, you might have some trouble with this one. The main reason to play this game if for the dirty jokes and sight gags, and that’s about it. Otherwise, this games about as much fun as playing “pick-up-sticks” with your butt cheeks. Here’s the buzz:

Story 3/10

Larry is a lonesome loser in a lousy leisure suit. He has one thing on his mind: Getting some “action”. Unfortunately for the player, Larry has nothing going for him, and therein lies the difficulty of your quest. Many perils lie along the road to “success” in this game, including getting mugged, VD, being tied to a bed, and getting urinated on by a dog. It’s no “Space Quest V”, but it has its charms. Not much, though.

Gameplay 3/10

Sure, the game has some charm, but unfortunately, Larry doesn’t. It’s simple, old school adventure game fare, requiring you to type commands to pick up objects and interact with your environment (if that’s what you kids are calling it these days). Most adventure games have abandoned the typing interface because it gets old fast for some folks, especially when you don’t know what you’re trying to pick up, or just how to type out what it is you’re trying to do (“TIE SELF TO POLE”...no? “TIE ROPE TO POLE TO SELF”...still not it? “USE ROPE”...aargghh!!) The point and click interface of newer adventure games is much easier to handle, especially for troglodytes who don’t know how to read that well. Overall, this game is very short if you have any adventure gaming experience, and I highly doubt you’d find yourself playing it again, except maybe to show your friends, but that requires admitting to having played this game, and more than likely, you won’t want to. I think it took me about 15 minutes to play through this game after I’d won it the first time. Getting stuck while playing through this game the first time is the kiss of death...it’s too easy to say, “You know, I don’t really care if I win this game or not. Seeya’!” In the end, even after achieving your “goal” in this game, you’ll probably wind up feeling unsatisfied and wanting more. There are sequels, but I’ve never played them...and I don’t plan to...this sucker pretty much blows. Sorry, Sierra...not one of your best efforts...Space Quest was much better.


Graphics 2/10

The graphics in this game or pretty nonexistent. You could play this game with nothing but the text and get about as much out of it, but then you wouldn’t be able to see what (or who) you were doing. For the most part, everything is blocky, and it’s impossible to tell a pack of matches from a remote control to a toilet brush. There are some close up scenes of other characters (never Larry...shucks), but that’s about the best you’ll get in the graphics department. Otherwise, graphics-wise, this game pretty much got screwed.

Sound 1/10

Uh...huh?? WAS there any sound in this game? I didn’t notice? Come to think of it, maybe there were some boings and pings coming out of my internal PC speaker, but I thought that was just junk processing noise. That being the case, maybe I should entitle this category “Noise”, but it just seems like too much work for this game. I’ve already done too much as it is.

If you’re looking for a great game with CGA graphics where you can’t tell what things are supposed to be with a “Gotta’ get laid” plot, I guess this game might appeal to you for a few minutes (as long as it takes to win). Otherwise, forget about it. This game survived as long as it did out of the sheer novelty of the plot, and in the end, that’s pretty much all it is...and adult novelty, only it requires hard disk space and a power strip instead of batteries. This game probably ranks among the least fun things you can do with your clothes still on. If you must play this game, play responsibly, and make sure you use a keyboard protector...otherwise your PC could get some kind of nasty virus.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 06/03/03, Updated 06/03/03