"What a simulation!! All the pain of being shot, without leaving home!!"

At the time of this writing, the only other reviews of Extreme Paintbrawl 2 are 1/10. The games are going for three bucks a piece. Countless reviewers have bragged about their violent destruction of the game's CD. Yet HeadGames just won't stop churning out ''Extreme'' games. In fact, giant publisher Activision has actually begun publishing their titles. This is just further proof that the company hasn't done anything worthwhile since Pitfall, but I digress. Extreme Paintbrawl 2 is being subjected to abuse it doesn't deserve.

Once a few years ago, I passed this game with its deceptive cover and information. It was a simple jewel case, but this should be expected in the budget section. I considered picking it up for a friend's birthday. I eventually settled on a different gift, but then, one Easter, it arrived. There, in my basket, was the game. I opened it up to find a weak beyond weak manual, but hey, the cover sure looked nice.

I got through the installation and excitedly began my game. I've never paintballed before, and enthusiastically began. I tried to customise a few options, but my lack of funds made outfitting my team a tad difficult. Oh well, I'll just start the level.

A few weeks later, when the game finally loaded, I took a look around. The guns are all absolutely flat. As in, no movement, no bobbing, no hands. The gun does actually drop when you reload and rise when full. Still, pretty weak. Of course, Wolfenstein 3D had a gun that apparently came out of B.K.'s chest. Maybe their was still hope. I turned around to see my team, bobbing their heads in synchronisation. Oooooooooooook... Maybe this is one of those wacky dances you kids do these days. When moving, they sorta jerk forwards and crash into wall, but more on that later.

Almost immediately, I discovered my ability to shoot the sky. Yes, that's right. Mooooooving on...

I headed into the garage. Moving slowly and cautiously, I snuck forward... the suspense was enormous... POP!! What the heck? Shot in the head and looking upwards at an awkward angle. I took control of the next in line. POP!! POP!! POP!! Level over...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAD...

Everyone died, but I earned a little bread. Time to upgrade. Yes! Laser sight! Paint grenades! Automatic weapons! Well, sort of... Let's start with the autos- they're still slow, but not quite as slow. Of course, this means trading a little accuracy. Well, I do have a laser sight right? At least, that's what they call it. What you're left with is a little red dot in the middle of the screen. This actually is my favourite part of the game. The ''sight'' does no more than point out the games biggest weakness, or in my opinion, strength. The ''sight'' really shows you just how awful the aim truly is. The ''paint'' never gets within 7 centemetres of the dot. Even with the ''sniper rifle.'' I suppose this simulates wind. I have asked paintballers if the wind affects the shot. No. No it does not. So it's not realism. Infact, the shots seem to purposely curve around your targets. This makes me laugh. I have laughed the score all the way up to a three. Tee hee hee. Hilarious!! However, it still gets better. While I'm off fiddling with the curvy gun, my opponents are getting absolutely perfect shots EVERY FREEGING TIME!! Hoo hoo!

As for sounds, they were probably made with one if those little cork popguns. For every gun. If you can figure out which key to press, you get the joy of hearing a bored programer saying, ''Reloading...Let's go!''

In the end, the game provides exactly what it promises: Paintbrawl. Not paintball. Just thirty minutes of hilarity and a whimsical misspelling of ''Paintball.'' Enjoy!!

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 05/02/03, Updated 05/02/03